Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.
1. William Byron — Byron was solid all day at Texas on his way to a third in the Autotrader EchoPark Automotive 400 at Texas.
"Once again," Byron said, "my No. 24 Chevy featured the Liberty University paint scheme. I think I'm a good bet to win any race this season. So, if you have me in an office betting group, then I like your chances to win the pool, boy.'"
2. Chase Elliott — Elliott overtook Denny Hamlin for the lead on lap 260 at Texas, then held on through two overtime restarts to take the win in the Autotrader EchoPark Automotive 400. The win snapped a 42-race winless streak for Elliott.
"The No. 9 Camaro was amazing," Elliott said. "And getting this win means the world to me. I really enjoy being the center of attention in Victory Circle. And in the Hooters car, that means spotlights and headlights."
3. Denny Hamlin — Hamlin got loose battling with Chase Elliott for the lead on lap 266 at Texas and tumbled down the order. A win or a runner-up turned into a 30th-place finish at Texas.
"I'm sure the fine folks down at the Dawsonville Pool Room were happy to see that," Hamlin said. "I can hear them jeering me now. Luckily, my car was primarily sponsored by Yahoo!, and it's helpful when your own car tells you the kind of people you'll be dealing with."
4. Martin Truex, Jr. — Truex finished 14th at Texas.
"The winner of the Texas race is presented with a cowboy hat," Truex said, "as well as the chance to look like someone who normally doesn't wear a cowboy hat.
5. Ty Gibbs — Gibbs started second at Texas and finished 13th.
"Thankfully," Gibbs said, "I didn't have a wheel fall off like my front row counterpart Kyle Larson. Kyle had a wheel fall off under caution on lap 116. I bet he's really disappointed in that wheel. What do you even say to a wheel that just up and quits in the middle of a race? Maybe 'You're putting me on.'"
6. Kyle Larson — Larson started on the pole at Texas and won Stage 1, but found trouble when he lost a wheel under caution. He fell two laps down and eventually finished 21st.
"Luckily," Larson said, "I was able to get back on the lead laps thanks to a couple of free passes. I love free passes, and could have used a butt load of them back in the spring of 2010 to get me out of a really huge jam I was in."
7. Ryan Blaney — Blaney suffered heavy damage when contact from Ryan Preece sent Blaney's No. 12 Ford hard into the turn 2 wall on lap 182 at Texas. Blaney came home 33rd, eight laps down.
"That was a clear case of Ryan-on-Ryan violence," Blaney said. "If I was a hothead, I would have retaliated with more Ryan-on-Ryan violence. But I'm not. I'm a man of peace, and he's a man of Preece."
8. Bubba Wallace — Wallace finished seventh at Texas, posting his fourth top-10 of the season.
"This race was called the Autotrader EchoPark Automotive 400," Wallace said. "That's a lot of words, and seems kind of redundant. Do we really need to have the word 'auto' more than once in an auto race?"
9. Tyler Reddick — Reddick finished fourth at Texas as the top Toyota car on the day.
"Dr. Phil was the honorary pace car driver at Texas," Reddick said. "Just for the day, we referred to my fueler Brian Dheel as 'Dr. Fill.'"
10. Brad Keselowski — Keselowski scored his best finish of the year with a second at Texas.
"Former legend Jimmie Johnson was back in the Cup series for the first time in a while," Keselowski said. "And just 50 laps into the race, Jimmie spun. It's clear that Jimmie doesn't need to retire to take himself out of a race."
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