Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Kyle Busch — Busch outpaced big brother Kurt on the final restart at Bristol and took the win in the Food City 500.
"We both gambled by staying out on the final caution," Busch said. "We're from Las Vegas, so gambling is in our blood. By the way, I'm their 'favorite son.' And when I say 'their,' I'm referring to Las Vegas, and our parents."
2. Denny Hamlin — Hamlin finished 5th at Bristol as Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Kyle Busch won for the third time this season.
"Between Kyle and me," Hamlin said, "we've got 5 wins this year. So, for JGR, Kyle and I are carrying our weight. Our teammates, Erik Jones and Daniel Suarez, they're carrying our jock straps."
3. Joey Logano — Logano and Penske teammate Brad Keselowski were set to battle for the win at Bristol until a late caution changed their fortunes. Both opted to pit for tires, while Kyle Busch and Kurt Busch stayed out. Kyle Busch won the race; Logano finished 3rd.
"It sucks to lose," Logano. "And trust me, I hate losing to the Busch brothers, but not nearly as much as I hate being outsmarted by them."
4. Kevin Harvick — Harvick had to start at the back of the field after failing inspection three times, but salvaged a 13th at Bristol. He is 3rd in the Monster Energy Cup points standings, 33 out of first.
"I finished 13th in qualifying," Harvick said. "And 3 failed inspections says I finished 1st in 'dis-qualifying.'"
5. Brad Keselowski — Keselowski was penalized late at Bristol for failing to line up properly on a restart, and finished 18th, spoiling what easily could have been a top-five finish.
"That's what NASCAR calls 'putting me in my place,'" Keselowski said.
6. Martin Truex, Jr. — Truex finished 17th at Bristol, one lap down, and is now 7th in the Monster Energy Cup points standings.
"We didn't have a car capable of winning," Truex said. "Of course, I wasn't too pleased with the car and its setup. At the 'Bull Ring,' it was a case of 'running of the b.s.'"
7. Kurt Busch — Busch finished second to younger brother Kyle at Bristol after Kyle nailed the final restart.
"I should have wrecked Kyle and taken the win," Busch said. "But Kyle got a great jump on the restart and I couldn't catch him. In other words, he beat me to the punch, as opposed to some other drivers, who have beaten my with a punch."
8. Chase Elliott — Elliott started on the pole at Bristol and posted an 11th-place finish.
"I received a free pass midway through the race," Elliott said, "despite the fact that I was involved in the spin that caused the caution. That clearly goes against what's written in the NASCAR rule book. At this point, who knows what's written in the NASCAR rule book? What is known is that it's written in pencil."
9. Ryan Blaney — Blaney led a race-high 158 laps at Bristol and finished 4th, his 4th top-five of the season.
"I had a spirited battle with Ryan Newman late in the race," Blaney said. "There was a lot of contact. Luckily, we were able to laugh about it afterwards. Which is amazing in itself, because Newman is hardly ever in 'good humor.'"
10. Clint Bowyer — Bowyer finished 7th in the Food City 500.
"Darrell Waltrip is retiring from the FOX broadcast booth at the end of the season," Bowyer said. "It's gonna be sad to see DW go, and we all plan to send him off with a show of respect. So, Boogity! Boogity! Let's go embracing boys!"
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