* He's Dustin Off the Trophy, or Spieth Mountain — Jordan Spieth won the U.S. Open after Dustin Johnson missed an eagle chance to win followed by a birdie putt to tie. Spieth has now won the first two majors of the year, so he is halfway to the Grand Slam, while Tiger Woods continues to struggle to get to first base.
* He Like His Bribes Not In Green, But in White — Diego Maradona plans to run for the FIFA presidency to replace Sepp Blatter. Reportedly, it will take the "hand of God" for Maradona to be elected.
* "Hall of Fame" Rhymes With "Fall of Shame," or Charlie Hustler — Newly revealed documents show Pete Rose bet as a player while with the Cincinnati Reds. Rose's chances of entering the Baseball Hall of Fame just went "bust."
* And We All Thought Notorious BIG Was the One With the Weight Problem, or West Coast Feud, or Diddy or Didn't He? — Sean "Diddy" Combs was arrested on the UCLA campus Monday afternoon on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon. Combs allegedly attacked a UCLA assistant with a kettle-bell after confronting a coach for yelling at Combs' son Justin, a Bruins football player. The university was thankful that no one was seriously hurt, and even more thankful that Suge Knight's son wasn't a player.
* Zen Blaster — New York Knicks president Phil Jackson criticized LeBron James and NBA offenses in comments made to Bleacher Report. James and NBA offenses joined the Knicks on the list of things Jackson has run into the ground.
* They'll Leave the Shootouts to the NBA — The NHL approved a new three-on-three overtime format for the 2015-2016 season, making overtime games much less likely to end with a shootout. It's the most talked about threesome in hockey since the Dion Phaneuf, Elisha Cuthbert, and Joffrey Lupul scandal in Toronto.
* Talk of the Towns, or No. 1 and Done — The Minnesota Timberwolves selected Karl-Anthony Towns as the first pick in Thursday's NBA Draft. Towns is expected to, at best, make the Timberwolves a playoff contender, or, at worst, keep the team from tanking until late February.
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