Thursday, August 11, 2011
Rex Grossman: Courageous Leader or Clueless Redskin?
On August 9, Rex Grossman said a number of things that got people scratching their heads. Not that this is a rare occurrence with Grossman (he once referred to himself as "that mystery quarterback"), but his latest foray with the media has made us question how much time the man has spent in our universe.
Talking with the Washington, DC media, Grossman started off the interview by saying that the Washington Redskins are currently "waiting in the wings" and "right where we want to be."
If by "waiting in the wings" you mean "finishing in last place," then you are dead on, Rex. The Redskins are ripe to upset the Eagles, Cowboys, and Giants as they look to improve from 6-10. I can also see what you mean by being "right where we want to be." I'd love to be competing with John Beck for my job, too.
He also noted that "no one is talking about us right now" implying (in ridiculous fashion, I might add) that the Redskins should be talked about.
You're wrong, Rex. Everyone is talking about you right now. And they're saying that you're incredibly misinformed. I swear, this interview is going to be used in the NFL's next initiative on educating people on the effects of concussions.
Grossman then took off his Mensa t-shirt and said that if "you look at us from top to bottom, there's a bunch of great players."
Is it just me, or is Rex looking at the wrong team's media guide? Santana Moss is the only thing even resembling a weapon on offense and the team's defense is full of people where, unlike "Cheers," nobody knows their name. Tim Hightower is your running back. TIM "I FALL DOWN AT SPEEDBUMPS" HIGHTOWER! The man averages less than 600 yards a season, has had 9 fumbles in the last two seasons, and the longest run of his career is 26 yards (which he got in 2008).
The Redskins' fearless leader finished up his hallucinogenic-inspired speech with this gem of a quote: "...when it's all said and done, I really feel like this team's gonna win the East." I am assuming that by "this team" he meant the Redskins and by "East" he meant the NFC East, which makes me wonder if the new NFL drug test policy should include a few more things than HGH and PCP.
Rex, the Washington Redskins will be lucky to finish fourth in the division and that's assuming you don't crash the team's airplane midseason in a hubris-fueled rampage and force Dan Snyder to forfeit the entire 2011 season (which, coincidentally, might not be the worst of ideas looking at the team's depth chart).
How's this for a bold prediction? The Redskins will finish 1-15, with half of the team's non-losing weeks being their bye. Oh, and Rex, you'll be on the bench after your Week 3 matchup against the Dallas Cowboys on Monday Night Football. Snyder is never one to like looking embarrassed on national television (which explains his absence from prime-time games for the last dozen or so seasons).