Realigning the NFL

I'm a tinkerer. I like to tweak things. If it's not broken, I will still fix it.

While these traits would probably serve me well if I had any small motor skills or interest in machinery, tools, etc., I don't. So I'm left with tinkering with the NFL.

It used to be that there was almost zero relationship between the NFL division names and the actual locations of the teams in those divisions. From 1970-2001, Atlanta and New Orleans were in the NFC West. Dallas has been a member of the NFC East since 1968. Neither of these designations make any sort of geographic sense.

The NFL corrected most of these issues with realignment in 2001. However, as a result of their earlier nonsensical division groupings, there were certain rivalries that developed and the league (correctly) felt the need to maintain these rivalries. This is why the Cowboys remain in the NFC East and why Miami is in the AFC East instead of the AFC South.

What if we realigned them again to make the most geographic sense, rivalries be damned? Well first, I don't actually advocate doing that. What follows is an exercise in fun, so don't get your knickers in a twist.

Using only geography as a criterion, I would realign the divisions like this.

AFC MARITIME DIVISION

New England (14-2 in 2010)
New York Jets (10-6)
New York Giants (10-6)
Philadelphia (10-6)

First, the AFC would roughly become the "Eastern Conference" and the NFC would become the nominal "Western Conference." This means there would be massive conference switches. I would also, as you see, aim for more imaginative names for the divisions, which I think would help foster public acceptance as well as to speed along new rivalries.

The Maritime Division would perhaps be the most respected and followed in the country, especially in contemporary times, where each team is strong.

AFC COLONIAL DIVISION

Pittsburgh (12-4 in 2010)
Baltimore (12-4)
Washington (6-10)
Carolina (2-14)

I considered calling this the Chesapeake Division and the Mid-Atlantic Division, as well. Washington and Baltimore make an obvious rivalry choice, and Pittsburgh is less than 300 miles from both.

AFC SUNSHINE DIVISION

Atlanta (13-3 in 2010)
Tampa Bay (10-6)
Jacksonville (8-8)
Miami (7-9)

I like the idea of all the Florida teams in the same division. As a Buccaneers fan, I've always felt the most rivalry-based hostility to the Dolphins, but they only play once every four years.

AFC GREAT LAKES EAST DIVISION

Detroit (6-10 in 2010)
Cleveland (5-11)
Buffalo (4-12)
Cincinnati (4-12)

Ay chihuahua, would this division be turrible, perhaps even worse than last year's real NFC West. Perhaps Cleveland and Buffalo could evolve into rivals if they could revive some of their magic of the 80's and 90's. For whatever reason, Cincinnati and Detroit square off in preseason every single year.

NFC GREAT LAKES WEST DIVISION

Chicago (11-5 in 2010)
Green Bay (10-6)
Indianapolis (10-6)
Minnesota (6-10)

This division is the one that stays the closest to its current iteration, and fans of the Bears, Packers, and Vikings can thank me for offloading Detroit and giving them Indianapolis, thereby creating the toughest division in the NFC.

NFC ELAION DIVISION

New Orleans (11-5 in 2010)
Dallas (6-10)
Houston (6-10)
Tennessee (6-10).

Did I get too cute with this one? Elaion is the old Greek word for oil and ultimately where we get our word for oil. I've long felt that Dallas and New Orleans would be great, natural rivals, and there is already a ramped-up froth between these two teams: they have played the last two seasons, and both games were decided by a field goal with the road team winning. When it was Dallas winning in New Orleans in 2009, it ended the Saints' quest for an undefeated run at 13-0.

NFC NEAR WEST DIVISION

Kansas City (10-6 in 2010)
St. Louis (7-9)
Arizona (5-11)
Denver (4-12)

The NFC's hapless answer to the AFC's Great Lakes East Division. I would expect if history holds, Denver would dominate this division most years.

NFC FAR WEST DIVISION

San Diego (9-7 in 2010)
Oakland (8-8)
Seattle (7-9)
San Francisco (6-10)

Well, that was easy, putting the only four NFL teams in a state that border the Pacific Ocean, and by playing twice every year, 49ers/Raiders would become one of the most intense, celebrated rivalries in the NFL. This one, the NFL ought to really do.