* Braylon Edwards wrecked his sports car in Belle Isle, Michigan early last Friday morning, losing control of his Audi and driving into a pylon. Surprisingly Edwards, who faces trial on a DWI charge stemming from a police stop last September, did not get a ticket. Apparently, the officer must have thrown it at him. Edwards can't catch a pass, but he can catch a break.
* Arizona Cardinals defensive lineman Darnell Dockett was stopped by police for speeding on Monday, and Dockett took to Twitter to report the incident as it unfolded. "I don't know why the police are always messing w/me," he tweeted, then demanded the cops get a warrant if they wanted to search his vehicle, followed later by an update saying he was let go. In total, three officers responded to the call, which resulted in neither a search nor a ticket for Dockett. It wasn't Dockett's first brush with incompetent buffoons — he's had a number of run-ins with the Cardinals defensive staff. Chalk it up to a victory for civil rights, and a loss for policemen who think they can mess with Darnell Dockett, who now will be known as the "140-Character Assassin."
* Chad Ochocinco said he will wrestle alligators, his latest stunt in an adventurous offseason that's seen him ride a bull and practice with a professional soccer team. Ochocinco acknowledged the danger of the stunt, saying he could lose and arm or a leg, which is entirely possible, because although alligators don't follow him on Twitter, the carnivorous reptiles will follow him in the wild.
* Miami Dolphins linebacker Channing Crowder, on the debut of his weekly radio talk show in Miami, hinted that he sold some of his jerseys while at the University of Florida, only to backtrack on ESPN on Tuesday, when he said he didn't sell any jerseys. Asked to explain his dubious statements, Crowder said his words should never have even been reported, since he was speaking on the condition of "ambiguity."
* Agent Drew Rosenhaus confirmed that Terrell Owens did indeed have surgery to repair a torn ACL in April, and said that Owens has no intention to retire and will be ready to play in August. It has been rumored Owens hurt the knee while taping a segment for his VH1 reality show. Rosenhaus said that was not true, although it would have been perfectly understandable had Owens been injured mugging for the camera.
* Tennessee Titans wide receiver Kenny Britt surrendered to police in Tennessee on two warrants alleging he gave inaccurate information on two separate drivers license applications. Britt is not the only Titans receiver to be accused of making false statements — Randy Moss told Jeff Fisher in November that he would be a productive addition to the team.
* Roger Goodell and DeMaurice Smith met in Minneapolis on Tuesday for the first of four days of labor talks. Forty years ago, if a black man and a white man sat across from each other on equal terms at a table, it was considered "progress." Let's hope the same applies today.
NFL players and other sports personalities react to the ongoing lockout:
Santonio Holmes: "I really hope they can hash this out."
Rex Ryan: "I'm ready for some foot, and football."
James Harrison: "The owners are guilty of unnecessary 'guff-ness.'"
Antonio Cromartie: "Players and owners have been talking for months now. They've 'gone into labor' more than my baby mommas."
Brett Favre: "Frankly, I'm sick of this back and forth."
Carson Palmer: "I'm prepared to take a year off."
Reggie Bush: "I've already had one 'season' taken away from me. What's another?"
Matt Hasselbeck: "If an agreement can't be reached, I say we take it to a coin toss."
Darrelle Revis: "If a labor agreement isn't reached, I won't be the only 'shutdown' corner in the league."
Ray Lewis: "Find rapport," quoth the Raven. "Find rapport."
Albert Haynesworth: "You mean I won't get paid for doing nothing?"
Peyton Manning: "Cut that deal! Cut that deal!"
Eli Manning: "Omaha!"
Jim Mora, Sr.: "Playoffs?! Playoffs?! There might not even be a football season and you're asking me about playoffs? Playoffs?!
LeBron James: "It's time for a decision that matters."
Lawrence Taylor: "Negotiations are a lot like an addiction to cocaine — you're never doing enough."
Ben Roethlisberger: "I'm sure if Roger Goodell and DeMaurice Smith held a meeting in a locked bathroom, at least one would get what he wants."
Al Davis: "A cancelled NFL season would be devastating for owners. But I'm not worried. I may be the only owner who knows what it's like to come back from the dead."
Tim Tebow: "A mutually beneficial compromise is in my prayers, as are jersey and underwear sales."
Larry Fitzgerald: "On the plus side, a year without football would give the Cardinals that much longer to find a quarterback."
Randy Moss: "As a player fond of taking plays off, taking an entire season off seems like overkill."
James Laurinaitis: "It's about time for the two sides to reach a resolution. Even my father, Road Warrior Animal, had better finishing maneuvers than Goodell and Smith."
Bill Belichick: "Take it from me. Labor negotiators are much too well-dressed to accomplish anything noteworthy."
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