* The Big Calhoun-A — The Connecticut Huskies won the NCAA championship on Monday, making 68-year-old Jim Calhoun the oldest coach to win a title. The UConn locker room was a picture of joy, with hugs, high fives, and other forms of contact that may or may not be deemed "improper," pending an NCAA investigation.
* Girls Gotta Have It — The International Olympic Committee approved women's ski jumping as an event in the 2014 Winter Games in Sochi, Russia. It was a big victory for women's athletics, and certainly gives new meaning to the sport's "flying V" technique.
* Jersey No. 1 and Done — Freshman point guard Kyrie Irving announced his intentions to enter the NBA draft after one season at Duke. Irving played in only 11 games this season due to an injured big toe on his right foot, a toe that was the most talked about single digit in sports since Vince Young took the Wonderlic test.
* Non-Shooting Foul or Play Missed-ty For Me or it's a Brick House — NCAA runner-up Butler shot 18.8% from the field in losing 53-41 to Connecticut, connecting on only 12-of-64 shots. It was a far cry from last year's title contest loss to Duke, which was notable for one Butler missed shot, while this year's unsuccessful championship effort was marked by 52 misfires.
* Back-Tracking — Five-time NASCAR champion Jimmie Johnson apologized to NASCAR on Tuesday, two days after making critical comments over a pit road speeding penalty at Martinsville he felt was unwarranted. Johnson was later issued another speeding citation, for going from accusatory to apologetic way too fast.
* Sports Bra-vo or Blair Niche Project — Texas A&M beat Notre Dame 76-70 on Tuesday to win the women's NCAA championship. The Aggies knocked out two No. 1 seeds, Baylor and Stanford, on their way to the title, and made 65-year-old Gary Blair the oldest coach to win the women's championship. The Aggie women made Texas proud, doing something the Cowboys, Texans, Mavericks, Spurs, Rockets, Astro, Rangers, and Stars haven't done in awhile, and that's "man up" and win a championship.
* Defense? Defense? — Federal prosecutors dropped one of five charges against Barry Bonds, and Bonds' defense team rested without calling a single witness. Bonds now faces three, instead of four, counts of lying to the grand jury. The jury now gets the case for decision, and Bonds finds himself in a familiar position, in which he'll nervously "wait for the results."
* Goes Down Easy — Sports Illustrated conducted an informal player poll asking to identify the NBA's most notorious floppers. Cleveland center Anderson Varejao topped the list, followed closely by San Antonio's Manu Ginobli, with actor Lee Majors running a close third.
In a related story, Steve Nash's ex-wife, Alejandra, was voted in an informal player poll as the league's most notorious "fluffer."
* British Abrasion or Talking "Man Ure" — Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney could face a two-game ban after he was caught using the "F" word into a camera after his third goal in a 4-2 Manchester win over West Ham United on Saturday. Mooney later apologized for his language, and offered an alternate version of his outburst, performed by American singer-songwriter Cee-Lo Green.
* Shaka Con-tract — Virginia Commonwealth head coach Shaka Smart turned down an offer at North Carolina State and instead signed an eight-year contract with VCU that will pay him $1.2 million annually. The Wolfpack were the most notable of several teams wishing to jump on the Shaka Smart bandwagon, but instead settled for former Alabama coach Mark Gottfried, as well as several more years of 1983 nostalgia.
* O's in the Loss Column — The Baltimore Orioles, who finished 66-96 last year, started the 2011 season 4-0, their best start since 1997, and a start that puts them on pace to be overrated this year.
* Mass. Exodus — The Boston Red Sox struggled out of the gate with an 0-6 record, and fans of a team expected to contend for the World Series are exchanging their "easy" buttons en masse for "panic" buttons.
* Liquor Out the Front, Poker in the Back — Kansas City Chiefs linebacker Mike Vrabel was arrested on Monday for theft at a Florence, Indiana riverboat casino, allegedly for taking bottles of alcohol from a deli without paying. Vrabel was cooperative, and likely won't face jail time, although if he did, he would then be known as an "inside" linebacker.
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