Favre’s Sexting Pathetic For All the Wrong Reasons

Wednesday, August 5, 2010 was the day I lost all respect for Brett Favre. I never cared about his repeated indecision about whether or not to return to the NFL, it was sort of entertaining to see him jerk people around like that. I didn't even care that he screwed over his loyal fans by signing with a rival team. What crossed the line for me was the wildly unsubstantiated report that he sexted "model" Jenn Sterger.

That was the rage in the blogosphere on Wednesday. Deadspin claims the aged gunslinger, when he was with the Jets, allegedly sent several pictures of his genitalia to Sterger, who was working for the team at the time.

To be clear, I'm heavily in favor of sexting, but feel that the U.S. should probably pass an amendment to the Constitution limiting reserving the act to females. Favre's problem to me is that this whole thing comes off as a pathetic attempt to be hip. Like, "hey, is this what the youngsters are doing? Well, look at me young lady, I'm doing it now, too!"

Brett Favre isn't a largely forgettable football analyst for ESPN, he doesn't need to text pics of his junk to get laid. Even if he wasn't a famous athlete, he is super-rich, and you don't see any pictures of Bill Gates with his Microsoft hanging out.

This is just like the rich and famous version of your mom creating a Facebook page. That's one poke you just don't need to receive and it's always awkward when your mom "likes" your status update about a drunk one-nighter after 30-cent wing night.

Everyone knows an adult like this. They try to be cool way after they should care. They brag about how much they like the new "Fiddy" CD (might as well call it a record) and how "sick" the beats are. They wear cargo pants. They say things like "how cool is that new Tweeter thing?"

I get where Favre is coming from in his attempt to look cool. But he allegedly went about it all wrong. He's no Greg Oden. This photo isn't helping raise his stock. It's him, sans clothing, in a pair of Crocs. Either he's clueless or he's so arrogant, he's saying with this text message "I'm Brett Favre, and you will have sexual relations with me in spite of me wearing Crocs, because I'm Brett Favre and you can't resist, no matter how unforgivable my footwear."

I understand the pressure he's facing as he's getting old, but there is something to aging with grace. It's okay to not be on top of every fad that comes along. But there are some people that just can't go off into the sunset gracefully.

One of those people is Joe Paterno. The big story from Big 10 media day is just how old he sounds. Slurring his words, rarely makes recruiting trips anymore, always spending his vacations in the crowd at the "Price is Right," he's just old. He's done great for himself, but he needs to just go be old somewhere else. He shouldn't be in the fire anymore. Such a high-profile job is just too much for most people, let alone people in their 80s.

Another person who falls into the Paterno category is Hugh Hefner. I was at the Playboy Mansion in 2008 for a party and one thing that stuck out (among the many from a great night) was just how old he looked. It was in the way he moved more than anything. And sure, that place won't be the same once he's not there anymore but ... he's old. He can't stick around forever.

Thankfully, Hef wasn't out there the entire night, because nothing would be sadder than seeing him dragging along, looking tortured at the party palace he created. Whatever three girls replaced the reality-TV whores are just humoring him at this point, probably treating him with the same disinterest they reserve for a checkers game with grandma at the retirement home. Hugh Hefner is a legend, but he just can't play the game anymore and it's sort of sad to see.

Brett Favre isn't there yet, but signs like this are pointing to that conclusion. Just look at his other attempts to be hip and cool to the youngsters. He was all over the Vicodin fad in the late-'90s, I heard he even started singing, "I'm so excited, I'm so ... scared" before his friends sent him to rehab. Then he endorsed Wranglers jeans, because his message for America was, "hey, look kids, there's this new fad called blue jeans!"

I have no doubt that Brett Favre is every bit the scumbag that Jenn Sterger allegedly alleges he is. The problem I have with Favre is that he's trying to hard to act like a 21-century scumbag, and it just makes him look sad.

If someone had called you Wednesday and said a high-profile NFL quarterback was in a sexting controversy after sending pictures of his penis to a team employee, you would've guessed it was Ben Roethlisberger 10 out of 10 times. Who knows, you'd probably be right but it just hasn't come out yet. The point is, this is Roethlisberger territory. Those actions are for people of this generation.

If he wants to enjoy the fruits of technology, go for it. But do it in the privacy of your own home. There are thousands of elderly men who served our country proudly in WWII and lived through some of the toughest times are country has seen. If they want to jack it to Internet pornography, dammit, they deserve it. But they shouldn't be doing it at street corners and bus stops.

Similarly, Favre can act like a scumbag and hit on younger chicks working in the periphery of his game, but he has to do it like the older generation. He needs to just get hammered at a game and keep yelling "I want to kiss you" during a TV interview. That is far more respectable than sending naked photos of himself. That's not offensive, it's just sad.