Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Why I Don’t Love Soccer
Football is the world's most popular sport. Soccer, to us heathen North Americans. Why has the beautiful game, something easy both to play and to understand, failed to make headway against baseball and basketball and American football?
I like soccer. I played for over a decade, starting when I was a little kid and continuing into high school. I wasn't great, but I was good, and I enjoyed the game. I've always enjoyed the World Cup, and I even like MLS. I lived in Washington, DC, during the Marco Etcheverry years, when DC United was the best team in the country. I have great memories of watching DC pound Newcastle United during the summer of 2000, and I usually get to at least one MLS game a year. I always thought of myself as one of those Americans who "got" soccer, and appreciated its under-appreciation.
This year, however, I seem to have misplaced my enthusiasm. I've been following World Cup results, but I've hardly watched any of the games. Over the weekend, I chose track and field over Argentina/Mexico*. I probably won't get to an MLS match this year. What gives? How did I go from being a soccer fan to something bordering on indifference?
* Please forgive me for stealing Joe Posnanski's format, which I actually find annoying in the first place, but I don't know how else to do this. To put this in some context, (1) I love track and field. Fine, I don't usually pay much attention outside of the Olympics, but if it was on tv more, I'd watch it all the time. Apart from the NFL, there's no sport I prefer. (2) Argentina was already winning 2-0. That's borderline insurmountable in soccer.
I've been wondering recently why I'm not more excited about the World Cup. This is the least enthusiastic I've been in my adult life. What's missing that I like about other sports? I think part of the answer is above, when I mention a two-goal lead being "borderline insurmountable." Every goal is huge in soccer. That's a good thing on some level, but with scoring at such a premium, one flukey play or bad call can turn a match. I always rooted for the underdog when I was growing up, but these days, I often just root for good games and fair results. More often than not, I want the better team to win. Low scoring in soccer facilitates upsets, and I know that's a good thing in some ways, part of what makes the sport exciting. It just seems a little random to me sometimes. How meaningful is a single-elimination tournament in this kind of sport, really?
I hate to be the stereotypical American, but I'm also starting to understand why some fans criticize the game as boring. I don't agree with them, but there are very few explicit rewards in soccer. Other sports with higher scoring, or even more definite "good plays" — like a hit in baseball or a first down on the gridiron — offer fans more opportunities for celebration. And not to put too fine a point on it, but celebration is fun.
Soccer aficionados sometimes complain that popular American sports are dull and slow-paced. I understand that kind of criticism, but I also appreciate the downtime in those games. It offers a brief break to reflect on what has just happened as well as what might happen next. I think that makes the game more enjoyable. In soccer, there's constant action, and it can be a little much at times. Even an instant replay could cause you to miss something.
Perhaps my biggest and least surprising complaint with soccer is the officiating. I'm not talking about any of the various wrong calls in South Africa — though let's dispense with "controversial" and admit that several of these were blatantly and undeniably wrong — though that's certainly an issue. I'm speaking more generally. The officiating sucks, and it always has. The biggest problem, in my mind, is diving. Players faking or exaggerating injuries is undignified and infantile. It's what your little sister did to get you in trouble when you were a kid, and it always worked then, too. It's incredibly ugly to watch, and it makes it hard to respect the players or acknowledge the results. If there's a phantom foul called every three minutes, how can an honest team even be competitive? Why bother watching grown men fake injuries? I could get that from WWE if it's what I wanted.
I don't intend this column as a screed against soccer. I retain great affection for the sport, and I'm getting more interested in the World Cup as the tournament progresses. But I've also begun to understand some of the criticisms against the world's most popular game, and I'd be lying if I said I weren't already looking forward to that "other" football season beginning in autumn.