I was just about finished with my article, an NFL playoff predictions one, when I fell asleep. When I woke up, I groggily closed the active window to see what the time was. Bye, article.
It was about how five of the eight teams left at this point are really kind of suspect, with the Colts, Chargers, and Cowboys above the fray, and owing to the fact that the 'Boys are 5-0 with a score margin of 99-31 in their last five games, four against playoff teams, they were going to win the Super Bowl.
But there is something unavailingly depressing about trying to remember and recreate what you have typed, so screw it. I'm going to write something new.
Let's take a spin around the blogs.
Remember when Deadspin was trailblazing? Now it's "Access Hollywood: Sports Edition." As of this writing, they have two front page stories up about Colt McCoy proposing to his girlfriend. There's also a Tiger Woods story, and a content-free blurb about mean statements from disgruntled Volunteer fans on Lane Kiffin's wife's Facebook page. Gah!
The Bleacher Report is doing a fun-ish thing and ranking all the possible (16) permutations of Super Bowl matchups.
Oh, wait. It's a slideshow. Grrrrr! HULK NOT LIKE SLIDE SHOW! HULK WANT ALL CONTENT ON ONE PAGE! HULK BLAME CRACKED MAGAZINE FOR SURFEIT OF SLIDE SHOW PRESENTATIONS! HULK SMASH!!!
So let me spoil it for you. The writer calls for the Saints/Jets to be the least likely combo, and Vikings/Colts to be the most likely, because that would be "two quarterbacks who can will their teams to win and know how to grasp victories from the jaws of defeat."
Hahaha! Good one. And true if we are talking about Week 4 of the regular season. Of 2002.
Free Darko has a couple retro-ish basketball videos up, but they aren't as good as this poster.
I mean, yeah, Michael Jordan's great, but he's just the right bower to the mighty left of one ORLANDO WOOLDRIDGE.
I also love the '70s-esque placement of the script and numbers of the jerseys. Someone help me do a show called "Before They Were Sports Stars." No, it wouldn't sappily go back to their childhoods, it would go back to the time when they were just pretty good. If they were on a different team, too, that's a plus. Here are some announcer-isms I can imagine from the show.
"The Jerome Bettis kid has a chance to be the best Ram running back since Cleveland Gary!"
"Mark Brunell is a fine backup, perhaps the best in the Pac-10, but it would take John Elway to justify pulling Billy Joe Hobert!"
"Nice pick by the Hornets, Kobe Bryant at 13th. That's sure to take some of the sting of Kerry Kittles and Shareef Abdur-Raheem being off the board."
"Next year, the Cardinals should think long and hard about making Albert Pujols the everyday third basement, even at the expense of Placido Polanco."
Every Day Should Be Saturday has an amusing fake press conference with new Texas Tech coach Tommy Tuberville.
Something has always bothered me about Tuberville, and that something is this: if your name is "Tommy Tuberville," you should not me a distinguished-looking 50-something gentleman. You should either be a 450-pound bail bondsman from Topeka or a 15-year-old piccolo player who's always getting stuffed into lockers.
Finally, The Mid-Majority has a poetic read about college basketball and the boroughs of New York City. He makes the case that the NCAA has it in for NYC and always has. Why are NCAA tournament games never held in Madison Square Garden? Why has their been no Final Four anywhere close to New York since 1986? Did you know no NYC team has made it to the NCAAs since 2004?
He even gives brief public transportation tips to get to each of the school's gyms. I'm a cheap bus ride away and I like the Ivy League vibe. Maybe this year I will take the subway to "their Levian Gym ... hidden so far beneath its three-digit-street campus that it might as well be in Queens, or China."
Leave a Comment