The world has been rocked by Steve Phillips and his complete lack of standards when it comes to choosing a mistress. A lowly producer at ESPN, that happens to double as a homely lady, has rocked the foundation of this country. And we may have turned a corner for good.
If you're unaware of the fracas, former baseball "mastermind" turned sex-addict-turned ESPN analyst-turned sex addict again Steve Phillips was fired from his post in Bristol after the story of his affair hit the papers. ESPN claimed he could no longer accurately analyze baseball.
From that, I infer that ESPN is saying if he can't properly analyze women, then he has no shot as analyzing something as complex as our nation's pastime.
The NY Post was the leading organization when it came to labeling the mistress as unattractive. They referred to her as a "shlubby seductress" on several occasions and also used some other descriptors that are simply too foul to run in this publication.
The story garnered major press and prompted ESPN-hating Deadspin to launch a hilarious attack on numerous ESPN personalities and throw around sexual harassment charges like candy from a parade float.
With sexual harassment shrapnel flying everywhere, the key lesson in this entire saga has been glossed over. No longer is sleeping to work your way to the top reserved for the sexy girls out there. This is a monumental shift in gender relations in this country.
2009 is a year of change. We have our first African-American president, which many thought was impossible. Now, we have "schlubby seductresses" sleeping their way to the top, which no one thought was possible. At least not in the sport realm.
This is the type of story that should make you feel warm inside. This is a true underdog story. The schlubby seductress probably has some A-level talent to compete against when it comes to seducing those in power at the worldwide leader in sports.
I've been to Bristol; there are attractive women there. And we know how much pressure is put on young girls to look "beautiful" and it ruins the self-esteem of girls everywhere.
Not anymore. Now, they have a new hero. It's not Barbie, it's the Seabiscuit of inter-office affairs. She proves to girls everywhere that you can still pound that extra bag of donuts after dessert and put that trip to the gym off indefinitely and still have the ability to sleep your way to the top.
Sure, this one isn't the first. Monica Lewinsky is the patron saint of this movement but really, one high-profile case is an exception. Not a rule. And that wasn't prolonged. Lewinsky was never elevated to "mistress" status. She wasn't there for deep conversations and for thought-provoking discussion. She wasn't going to get promoted to Secretary of State for her extracurriculars.
Schlubby, though, could have. She was sleeping with a mover and a shaker. Someone that could get stuff done. And she (probably?) had her future in mind when going after this goal with all her lust.
Forget that she's batshit crazy, just look at her for what she is. Proof that you don't need to look like a beauty queen to attract the interest of an older man with (presumably?) some money.
From my standpoint, this is a story about equality. I think many people would agree with me that it's sexist to judge women by things like cup-size and "attractiveness."
Now you can judge them by how many chins they have. And if that's not progress, I don't know what is.
October 29, 2009
Lin McKay:
There is no way to determine some man’s taste in women. Phillips has some real issues so maybe he really does have some sexual deviancy going on. Why he would throw away in marriage, especially since he was forgiven once before, or the relationship he had with his four sons. The man must be whacko. Glad both were fired. She is a train wreck waiting to happen. Three nights of sex and she is going after the wife and family. There needs to be a restraining order against the woman. I hope there aren’t any more out there waiting to spring! Just another Letterman bringing sexual harassment into the work place.