To report on the NFL during the offseason can often be a tedious exercise if you want to do something other than make empty and ultimately foolish predictions. This year is different, however, but for all the wrong reasons. It has been an offseason that featured men guilty of being idiots, divas, criminals, and sometimes all of the above.
It may be worth noting that Terrell Owens has been one of the quiet ones. His move to Buffalo has gone relatively smoothly, even if it did only come about because he ruined the locker room resolve of the Cowboys last season. His quip about going from America's Team to North America's Team was well-played, even though I believe he wasn't clever enough to come up with it himself.
Most of this offseason has centered around players on the offensive side of the ball: particularly two quarterbacks and two receivers. This is only fitting, as recently all of these players have led offensive attacks of a very different sort. We have two quarterbacks playing who perhaps shouldn't be, and two wide receivers who will see no action in 2009. Let's start with the QBs.
Michael Vick has offended PETA lovers, dog owners, and basically anyone who values life on this planet other than just us humans. Number seven has served his time without incident, and will now return to the football field, still a national pariah.
Brett Favre has offended the sensibilities of all football fans who simply ask him to make career judgments based on honesty, integrity, and selflessness the way he claims to. In essence, he has become a politician.
In retrospect, both are sad stories. We loved Vick for the spectacular athleticism he once exhibited, as he appeared to be on his way to becoming the greatest rushing QB ever. The No. 7 highlight machine seemed to promise at least one wildly entertaining big-gain scramble every game. Leaps, dives, somersaults, and stops on a dime were the order of the day, and his highlights became a favorite part of our weekly diet.
Then Vick had other plans; he fed wild dogs to each other, and in the process, fed his career to the dogs. Surely, he showed signs on the field of being troubled even before that, as some may still remember the middle-finger gesture he once made towards his own fans when walking off the field into the tunnel, or the infamous Ron Mexico alias he was accused of using by a woman who claimed he knowingly gave her genital herpes. We realized, however reluctantly, that we could no longer make his on-field play our top priority in our opinions of this man.
Brett Favre has been lauded as an All-American hero since he famously filled in for Don Majkowski and won a game against Cincinnati with a dramatic touchdown pass to begin his career. He fit middle America's ideal mold for a football hero to a tee from the twang in his voice to his genuine-little-kid touchdown celebrations.
Even when he first began having trouble with the decision about retiring or playing one more year, we found it endearing. The man loved the game so much, he couldn't find it in his heart to let go of it. Surely, that's admirable to see as a fan. But Favre has taken that need to keep playing, and twisted and stretched and mutated it into something entirely different, something none of us can respect any longer. It's been four seasons in a row now of waffling, indecisiveness, and outright lying from the iconic one. Favre showed callous indifference for the Packers organization and the promising career of his young understudy, Aaron Rodgers, by making decisions, then un-making them on his own time, rather than the team's. After wiggling out of his contract to play for the Jets, he has finally come full circle and gotten his dirty revenge wish; a season with the rival Vikings to get back at the organization that made him a legend.
And just a week ago when Favre signed with Minnesota, he stared America straight in the face and said it had nothing to do with revenge. I don't know about you, but my intelligence was insulted when he made that statement. Why else would you pick the Vikings, Brett? It was widely known he wanted to go directly to the Vikings from the Packers last offseason and Green Bay would not give him his wish. Favre simply found a way around that and waited an additional year to strike.
And now on to the problematic pass-catchers. Plaxico Burress' self-inflicted gunshot wound vs. Donte Stallworth's life-ending bender. These are sad stories for different reasons than the QB dramas. Both cases involve a miscarriage of justice.
Plaxico Burress interrupted a dominant Giants season when his gun went off in the middle of a Manhattan nightclub and tore into his own leg. After being suspended for the remainder of the season, he was also condemned by NYC mayor Michael Bloomberg, who promised Burress would be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. And so he was. Even for a civilian, two years in jail for a self-inflicted gunshot wound sounds like a bit of a stretch. Certainly former Giant legend Lawrence Taylor got away with more than that on a regular basis.
There is something to be said for the notion that athletes or celebrities should not be any more immune to the law than anyone else who commits the same crime. This has often been considered idealistic and unrealistic. If Plaxico's folly marks the first of a change in mentality when prosecuting athletes, then perhaps it is for a greater good, but this makes it no less frustrating to Burress and those close to him. He will spend the next two years behind bars because of actions that may have put others in danger, but harmed no one but himself.
Finally, there is Donte Stallworth of the Cleveland Browns, who was found to be both both legally intoxicated and high off marijuana after hitting and killing a pedestrian with his car in Miami Beach. Stallworth served a paltry 24 days in prison before being released. In fairness to Stallworth, who previously had a reputation as one of the NFL's good guys, he showed appropriate concern for the man he struck, called 911 on the man's behalf to rush an ambulance over, and cooperated with police. This does not change the fact that he struck and killed someone while both drunk and high.
There were no further charges pressed against Stallworth, he was clear to go after 24 days. Astounding. Well done, Miami legal system. Fortunately, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell also found enough fault with this incident that he has suspended Stallworth for the entire 2009 season. Still, Stallworth walks freely while Burress copes with a long prison term.
We need the start of this 2009 season as soon as possible. Only then can the NFL's actual games take our attention off the foolishness of its players. And since T.O. still hasn't been arrested or suspended for anything yet, get your popcorn ready.
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