Last column, we looked at the team name origins of the AFC. You're all dying to read about the NFC, right?
Arizona Cardinals — A tribute to the fauna of Arizona. When you think of the animals of Arizona, you think rattlesnakes, coyotes, scorpions, and cardinals.
Atlanta Falcons — Named after the owner's favorite Fall Out Boy convention, Fal Con.
Carolina Panthers — Named after the Gray Panthers, the violent seniors' rights group who modeled themselves after the Black Panthers.
Chicago Bears — The team was founded in 1980, right after a bear craze that swept the Chicago-land area after a rash of bear attacks killed close to 8,000 people in nearby Joliet, Illinois (including several hundred at Joliet Catholic High School)
Dallas Cowboys — Named after the Dallas men's glee club, Boys of the Cow.
Detroit Lions — Started off as "The Loins" and the players would only wear a loin cloth the first few years of existence. There were many injuries.
Green Bay Packers — Originated in Green, Ohio, where they were known as, "The Bay Packers." What's a bay packer? If you have to ask, you wouldn't understand.
Minnesota Vikings — Present tense verb for "to vike."
New Orleans Saints — The owners ran a contest for the most intimidating bloodthirsty name the public could think of. Saints narrowly beat out the Werewolves, the Widow-makers, and the Bugs That Are Really Big and You're Kind Of Scared to Try to Kill It.
New York Giants — Was going to be the New York Ants, with this badass menacing ant-head logo with an army helmet. Damn printing press typo. Put down the pastrami sandwich when you run that machine, Sal!
Philadelphia Eagles — Named after the Steve Miller Band song, "Fly Like an Eagle."
San Francisco 49ers — As in 1549, the year of the most significant event in human history: the birth of Japanese warlord Ogawa Suketada.
Seattle Seahawks — Was just "Hawks," but the citizenry felt it was important to distinguish them from those deplorable land hawks.
St. Louis Rams — It's an acronym for the four most important players in franchise history: Redden (Barry), Anderson (Flipper), Maddox (Tommy), and Septien (Rafael).
Tampa Bay Buccaneers — Named after the daring, virile, invincible marauders of the sea. They are totally better than ninjas. (Ed Note: Author may or may not be a Bucs fan.)
Washington Redskins — Settled on when all the more combustible racial epithets were rejected by the teams lawyers, such as the [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED] or the [REDACTED] [REDACTED].
July 2, 2009
Anna:
Ha!! This one was even funnier than the AFC. I love the Dallas Cowboys and the Redskins. But someone is biased towards the Buccaneers, hmmm? Also, too bad the Detroit Lions don’t play in their traditional uniforms any longer. Would really boost ticket sales.