Everyone loves a good draft. Cool, refreshing ... uh, oh, that kind of draft. Yeah, those are good, too. So in honor of the other draft, the one that makes everything go down better (like your team's questionable picks), here are some things that struck me about this year's NFL draft.
(This will not be a nuts and bolts breakdown of every player and every team as if anyone actually knew what the hell to make of each and every pick and how their careers will go. The beer theme was a clue.)
Premium Import
The Jets got a quality pour, but the result of their deal with the Browns, Mark Sanchez, is every bit as lucky. Not since Ben Roethlisberger has a first-round QB entered a better situation. Good line, good RB, experienced receivers, near playoff team last year before Brett Favre went Alzheimer's and forgot which color jersey to throw to. And an at least serviceable guy in Kellen Clemens that can steer the ship if he's not ready to start right away, but no one that can hold him out of the lineup long-term the way Aaron Rogers was.
Throw on the fact that he's dealt with the big city media in Los Angeles and has great intangibles, and the weakness of only starting 16 college games starts to look increasingly insignificant.
Leaning Domestic
For the more affordable night out. The Cleveland Browns, Detroit Lions, and Kansas City Chiefs (and probably the Rams and Seahawks) didn't want to pay top-dollar for their top-five picks, so they would have rather traded down. They would have rather just gone for a six-pack of something reasonable to fix their many needs. But only the Browns were able to get someone to trade up, and so the Lions drafted a franchise quarterback into a system and franchise designed for him to fail, and the Chiefs reached for DE Tyson Jackson about 10 picks before he was projected to go. At least the Seahawks and Rams got players that are regarded as top-three talents as close to can't-miss as can be found at their positions in LB Aaron Curry and OT Jason Smith.
As bad teams are stuck with top picks that they don't want and can't give away, the need for a rookie/draftee pay scale has become so obvious it's unbelievable. Rookies that have proven nothing shouldn't be able to handcuff bad teams financially at the expense of upward mobility and veteran salaries.
Pabst on Tap
It's not that a case of Darius Heyward-Bey won't get the job done. But the seventh pick is still priced at a premium. With such uniquely crafted microbrews as Michael Crabtree and Jeremy Maclin still on the board for the same price, this order will make any bartender look at you funny ... and possibly cut you off. Wide receivers with inconsistent hands and unpolished route-running abilities generally don't go in the top 10. Unless you're the Raiders.
Of course, the Raiders definitely should have been cut off a round later when they ordered a Michael Mitchell. What's a Michael Mitchell? How 'bout a safety from Ohio Not State, one that didn't produce all that much in the MAAC. By no means do I consider Scouts, Inc. rankings gospel, but he was slapped with a 20. To put it in perspective: A) that's the minimum; he wasn't really even graded; and B) the Raiders' sixth-round pick, Stryker Sulak (presumably drafted for his cool name), graded out at a 37. Denver, with the very next pick, took a safety out of Texas Tech in Darcel McBath, who was a 69. Meanwhile, most had Mitchell as a seventh-rounder or free agent.
Again, not vouching for these rankings. But come on, the prognosticators can't be that much worse than the Raiders at evaluating talent, can they?
Half-Off Happy Hour Special
The 49ers take advantage of the discount on a smooth, refined, robust Michael Crabtree. And they certainly owe the Raiders a round. Of Patron. (Then again, they could slip them Jose Silver instead and they'd probably be none the wiser...)
Not Enough Head
Plenty of taste in the quality of the Bengals' draft. But for a franchise long on head cases and police blotters, the talent comes with a warning: it may turn out to be flat.
Don't get me wrong. Cincinnati may have gotten as much talent as anyone in this draft. The get a potential franchise tackle in Andre Smith. And Rey Maualuga in the second round? I understand a lack of hip fluidity and over-aggressive instincts pushing him out of the top 20. But at 38? A steal. DE Michael Johnson and TE Chase Coffman are regarded as good values in the third round.
But even disregarding the agent issues that landed Smith a Sugar Bowl suspension, his weight and corresponding work ethic/commitment concerns had a few teams shying away. Maualuga has a couple bar-fights and an anger-management session on the resume. On any other team, I would even say they are minor risks worth the gamble. Ending up on the Bengals, however, seems to serve as a multiplier for off-field problems. This team already had enough red flags that it was considering making it a primary team color.
Oh, and sixth-round pick Bernard Scott comes in having been kicked off a high school and a college team (both for fights; at Central Arkansas, he punched a coach), and he got probation after giving false info on a traffic stop. So he's already considered a seasoned veteran in that locker room.
All Foam
At least the Bengals will be entertaining. There was no substance in the draft for the Dallas Cowboys or Chicago Bears. Hope Roy Williams and Jay Cutler are worth it. And they may be. But with the keg kicked for the first and second round, the draft isn't helping the party get started this year without some of their many lower-round picks surpassing expectations.
Blonde Ale
Can we please bring back Kevin Greene to play with A.J. Hawk and Clay Matthews in Green Bay to have the All-Blond-Mullet linebacking corps? Matthews, almost by consensus the safest pick of the stellar trio of USC linebackers, should help solidify that unit with his Hall of Fame pedigree and apparent lack of a true weakness.
Steel Reserve
It just doesn't make sense; it leads to a night of bad choices and a morning of pain and regret. The Broncos had 10 picks, five in the first two rounds. They are proud owners of an awful front-seven (it's been said their entire line wouldn't start on any other team). And they pick one guy to help. Hmmmm...
Knowshon Moreno at No. 12 set the tone for the mistakes the way that first 40 oz. of 8.1 percent fuel will lay the base for a bad night. Forget that he could have been there still at pick 18 in a league where the marquee running back is losing value and importance to two-back systems and injury risks. Denver has made many journeymen into 1,000-yard backs in recent years, and new coach Josh McDaniels comes from New England, a team that has won Super Bowls without an elite back playing a key role.
Granted, McDaniels had a guy named Tom Brady in New England and Denver couldn't find any backs to get the job done last year. But then again, McDaniels chased away his Pro Bowl QB (or had him cry his way off the team, whichever you prefer) and again, good backs are always available a lot later in the draft.
Six picks later, the Broncos drafted Robert Ayers, a DE out of Tennessee, and if they had simply gone after defense from there, taking the best RB could have been understandable. But only three of the remaining eight picks were defensive, and all of them in the secondary. Since Ayers projects as a linebacker in a 3-4, they got zero defensive linemen.
Plenty of potency in this draft, but when Denver is watching the defensive struggles continue next year, a killer hangover will certainly set in.
Somehow the Raiders are only the second most beer-goggled team in the division.
Woah, sorry. After typing that sentence, maybe I'm the one feeling a little buzzed...
April 29, 2009
Jonathan:
Entertaining read. It was interesting to read a different take on the draft.
April 29, 2009
JR:
FYI, Neither Clay Matthews or AJ Hawk have “mullets”.
do you actually know what a mullet cut is?
a mullet cut is when the top and front are cut short, and the back is left long.
Both MAtthews and Hawk have hair that is *LONG* both in front and back.
they are not “mullets”
i suggest you go to one of the many mullet sites on the net to see what true mullets are.
April 29, 2009
Kyle Jahner:
Talk about a buzz-kill… JR: is that Junior from Reno 911? Only a redneck could put up such an impassioned defense of the mullet. It’s inspiring. I’m glad to see the mullet special interest groups are out spreading awareness to stop hurtful ignorance like mine.
Seriously, I know what a mullet is. I know Hawk and Matthews don’t have them.
But “all long blond hair linebacking corps” has a crappy ring to it, and with a football helmet on it doesn’t really matter much, now, does it?
If I can’t take a liberty and use imagination in an article equating NFL draft picks to beer selections, where the hell can I? Sometimes reality is constraining, and there was sadly only one Brian Bosworth…
April 30, 2009
JR:
Only a poor sports reporter could fail to distinguish that the defense was in actuality of normal, long hair, from being described as the horrible mullet, not the other way around.
Do some research before attempting to take humorous liberties…your jokes might have more bite to them if they were based in fact….as for mullet special interest groups, that was certainly a much better effort, too bad you already failed in the initial attempt
Take as much liberty and use as much of your imagination as you want…it is sad you could not come up with something better then what you did regarding the mullets that do not exist.
Perhaps if you had used the much more humorous, “special interest group” quip earlier, it would have actually been funny. Obviously, you already blew it though.
If it doesn’t matter with a football helmet on, why make the mullet joke in the the first place? Sort of kills the point you were trying to make.
As for me being a redneck, i am an equities trader in New York City. So I am not, in fact, a redneck, nor a member of their special interest groups.
I am sure someone who came up with such an impassioned defense could have actually come up with something funnier without resorting to mullets and Brian Bosworth.
do better next time.
April 30, 2009
Marc James:
JR, you need to get laid and spend less time arguing about men’s hair length.
April 30, 2009
Kyle Jahner:
Again, wow, taking this way to seriously. You are writing essays over a nitpicky word choice between “mullet” and “long blond hair.” And then you show even worse word choice, calling me a “poor sports reporter”. I am somewhat poor (everyone should be as they turn 25, build character). But sports reporters do interviews and have things called locker room access and paychecks.
But I was one for a year when I graduated from USC, so I have a decent editorial eye: if you read back your initial comment, it is COMPLETELY ambiguous whether you were defending the mullet or long blond hair. (Other than the absurdity of defending the mullet, which is of course why I chose to project that viewpoint onto you.) But you give NO dennotative preference at any point, and not really even a connotative one, so it is your writing that is “poor”.
And I really didn’t pretend to know or care what you did but since you brougt it up… Equity trader in NYC, huh? Given the events of the last several months, I guess I can say the same to you, only about your actual job:
do better next time.
May 1, 2009
JR:
Even sadder, i just read an article you wrote in the Daily Trojan, about the infamously overblown “White Nation” incident, since i am a rabid SC fan, and have been since 1979 when i met Charles White and received his autograph, long before you were born.
The “Racism not an issue” article, which could have passed for decent journalism…except you got the subject of the article’s name wrong…Obviously your “decent editorial eye”, which you lauded earlier is not quite as sharp as you think.
The Clay Matthews you are referring to was not, in fact, “Clay Matthews Jr.” as you called him.
Any USC fan who is passionate about the team, knows that Clay Matthews Jr. was the great USC linebacker of the 70s and later Cleveland Brown and Atlanta Falcon…older brother of NFL Hall of Famer and USC legend Bruce. He was the Son of Clay Matthews Sr. who played for the 49ers.
The current Clay Matthews, is Clay Matthews III.
I am sure Clay Jr. would be surprised that a bright-eyed young journalist with eagle like editorial vision, at the Daily Trojan had managed to implicate him as the starter of a White Nation Group on Facebook, when it was his son.
Not fact-checking seems to be the reason why you are no longer a sportswriter by profession.
bad fact checking leads to bad journalism, which leads to careers for poor (not financially, but qualitatively) sportswriters in other sectors….
do better next time
May 1, 2009
Kyle Jahner:
You spent time researching my old articles from college to help your arguement? Wow.
Interesting, considering you don’t refute anything in my response about you, just go off on another attack on an unrelated matter (Other than the fact that I have, like most of America, made mistakes in college… earth-shattering).
My release from the Santa Barbara News Press is actually a very small part of a current legal matter; I’ll let you research that disfunctional paper by yourself since you seem to have time. But rest assured, it had NOTHING to do with my performance. (That’s what she said….sorry couldn’t resist.) The job market for sports journalists WITH experience sucks, and since I have other interests, I’m moving on, happy with my one-year experience.
In any case, uncle. I’m done with this —um — debate; I’ve clearly lost. Now you’ve got me on messing up a hair-style AND a suffix. Too much ground to make up, I feel like I’m trying to swim up Niagra Falls.
Fight On.
May 1, 2009
Corey:
JR…does it just suck being you?
May 2, 2009
Anthony Brancato:
Premiums and domestics - and hair styles! - aside, the Eagles should have gone for the Rottweiler RB, Chris Wells, with their first-round pick; instead, they wound up with a schnauzer (LeSean McCoy) in Round 2.
Which is why Joe Banner and Andy Reid are both DOGS!
Get ready for Cowher Power - and maybe Corn on the Kolb as well - come 2010.