For some reason, award season always gets the better of me. I don't care about people I'll never meet getting dressed up; I don't care about art direction or animated shorts; I don't care about achievement in cinematography.
But come this time of the year, you better believe the Golden Globes and the Oscars are queued up on my TiVo. First of all, award shows are ideal on TiVo because you can watch a three-and-a-half hour show in about 45 minutes if you plow through commercials and boring acceptance speeches. Secondly, there's something about seeing the best of the best in one place at one time that is special.
Maybe my penchant for wanting to always see the best of the best can explain why I watch every NBA game I possibly can, yet I haven't seen a single college basketball game this year. I'm going to spend my time watching the best talent in the world play basketball, period.
A slight addiction to NBA basketball could also explain how, for the first time since I can remember, I haven't seen at least one of the nominees for Best Picture. With over 40 games a week on the League Pass, who has time to go to the movies?
You can bet on the fact that "Slumdog Millionaire," "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," "The Wrestler," and "Frost/Nixon" will be headed to the top of the Netflix queue as soon as they are available on DVD, but until then. I guess I'll just have to live with the fact that I'm more caught up the NBA than I am with Hollywood.
The writer's strike put a big damper on award season last year and I felt obligated to counter with the First Annual NBA Oscars.
Not releasing the Best Picture nominees on DVD ruined the Oscars for me this year, so it's only natural to counter with The Second Annual NBA Oscars.
This week's Starting Five brings back five of the top categories from last year and crowns a new winner as we review the NBA season and hand out some coveted hardware of our own:
1. Most Disappointing Season (Team) — Detroit Pistons
Things have gotten so bad in Detroit that before the Pistons went into the Q to play Cleveland Sunday night on ESPN, one of the biggest Piston fans I know told me, "We're going to lose by at least 25 tonight." The Pistons got down by 36 in the third quarter, before limping to a 21-point defeat.
The fans may have wanted to go into another direction after six straight trips to the Conference Finals, but only one NBA Title to show for it, but south certainly wasn't the direction they had in mind. Detroit has lost 15 of its last 20 games, and Sunday Night's embarrassment in the Q was the first game of a five-game trip that still includes stops in Miami, New Orleans, Orlando, and Boston.
The promise of tons of salary cap space in the offseason to fix some of the many problems the Pistons face gives hope that the rebuilding may not last long. But anytime the question heading into the playoffs goes from, "Who are we going to play in the Conference Finals this year?" to "Are we going to get in?" is a pretty good indication that you've had a disappointing season. In fact, a season so disappointing that it's worthy of an NBA Oscar.
2. Most Disappointing Season (Player) — Elton Brand
Elton Brand turning down the Clippers offer and signing with the Philadelphia 76ers for five years, $82 million was the biggest free agent acquisition of the offseason.
It's hard to pinpoint exactly what's most disappointing about Brand's 2008-09 campaign. Is it the fact that the soap opera he caused by verbally agreeing to a deal with the Clippers, then leaving days later for Philly was the most entertaining thing he did all year? Could it be that statistically he put up career lows across the board, missing a combined 53 games in the process? Or is it the sad realization from Sixers fans that the team is better off with their $82 million-dollar man in street clothes?
No matter which way you look at it, Elton Brand has provided disappointment in the last year at an NBA Oscar-worthy level.
3. Best Performance by a Coach — Stan Van Gundy
As stated in the guidelines last year, this isn't the same thing as Coach of the Year. My vote for Coach of the Year goes to the coach who gets the most wins out of the least amount of talent. That's not always the same thing as the best coaching performance.
This year, Stan Van Gundy has the Orlando Magic playing the perfect style of play for the team they have assembled. If the Magic are burying their threes, they are virtually unbeatable. With Dwight Howard on the inside putting up insane numbers night in and night out, it makes sense to surround him with the most talented group of shooters in the league.
Putting the right pieces in place is the first step to building a championship caliber team. Finding a coach to match them up with the perfect playing style is the second. The Orlando Magic have the talent and system in place to contend for an NBA title. All they need now is a good learning experience (a good beat-down at the hands of the Celtics or Cavs in the playoffs ought to work) and some better luck (a healthy Jameer Nelson would be nice) and the Magic become real scary in the East.
Unfortunately, the experience and the luck factor probably won't come until after this season, but that isn't enough to prevent Stan Van Gundy from taking home the Oscar for Best Performance by a Coach for 2009.
4. Best Performance by a Player — LeBron James
Our only new category this year, and who better than LeBron to take home the inaugural award? All apologies to Kobe Bryant, Dwight Howard, Dwyane Wade, Chris Paul, and any other superstar out there, but right now only LeBron brings the possibility of making history to the table each and every time he steps on the floor.
Whether he's flirting with a triple-double, bringing the house down with dunk after dunk, or binge-scoring to the tune of 16 points in two minutes and 16 seconds like he did Friday night against the Bucks, King James has certainly morphed into the must-watch NBA player of 2009, and the first-ever winner of the Best Performance by a Player Oscar.
5. Best Team — Los Angeles Lakers
Whether they're blowing teams out (26 wins by at least 10 points) or finding ways to win close games, the Lakers just keep rolling along. Not even the injury to Andrew Bynum has been able to slow the Lakers down: they are 9-1 since losing their starting center back in mid-January.
The Lakers have swept the season series with both the Celtics and Cavaliers, beating each team with and without Bynum in the lineup, and winning the four games by an average 9.25 points per game. They've taken a commanding eight-game lead over the second best team in the always deep Western Conference and hold an impressive 14.5-game lead over the Suns for the Pacific Division crown.
They've got nothing left to prove until the playoffs start and are the easy choice for this year's winner for the biggest NBA Oscar of them all — Best Team.
In the Rotation: R.I.P. Larry Miller
Like most of you, I never met Utah Jazz owner Larry Miller. But I will always remember Miller for doing, in my opinion, the most selfless thing I've seen a professional sports team owner do in my lifetime by letting Derek Fisher out of his contract in the summer of 2007 so he could relocate his family to a city that was better equipped to treat the rare medical condition of Fisher's infant daughter.
NBA players are the best athletes in the world, play the greatest game in the world, and play it on the biggest stage. Because of that, sometimes as fans we have the tendency to lose sight of the fact that they are regular people; fathers, husbands, brothers, just like the rest of us.
In a day and age where making money and winning titles (in that order) have become the only things that matter to those who are privileged enough to actually own professional sports teams, Miller's willingness to prioritize the needs of Fisher's family ahead of his own desire to win an NBA title will go down in my book as one of the classiest moves in the history of the NBA.
Miller will be remembered for a lot of different things to a lot of different people, but he will always have a spot In the Rotation for doing the right thing for Derek Fisher, even if it was at the expense of the team that meant so much to him.
Out of the Rotation: Zach Randolph
Zach Randolph lived out one of my bucket list fantasies this week: he punched a Phoenix Suns player in the face. Okay, so maybe my hatred for the Suns doesn't run that deep, but it's close (more on that later).
Z-Bo isn't out of the rotation for decking Louis Amundson, he's out for stopping there. Randolph is a complete head-case and was caught up in the heat of the moment. I mean, anything was possible at that point. And he just walked away.
Zach Randolph had the chance to make my biggest dream come true and punch everyone associated with the :07 seconds or less style of play right in the face before leaving the court, but somehow managed to put his crazy in check before ever getting to anyone even remotely associated with my least favorite NBA team in history.
Closure on my bloodlust for all things Phoenix Suns was in the maniacal hands of Zach Randolph, and he let me down.
A two-game suspension will not suffice for Randolph. He's out of the rotation, and isn't getting back in until he lays out Steve Nash.
Inactive List: Phoenix Suns Owner Robert Sarver
Why even bother hiring Steve Kerr if you won't let him run the team? Kerr was brought in to transform the fun-and-gun Suns into a legit playoff contender, and that's exactly what he was trying to do by bringing in Shaq and replacing Mike D'Antoni with the defensive-minded Terry Porter.
Then, using all of the basketball savvy Robert Sarver has acquired in his five years of being around the game, he decided to go over the head of GM Steve Kerr and personally shop all-star forward Amar'e Stoudemire to the other 29 teams, only he had a ridiculous asking price and no one would take him.
Then, realizing that trading a superstar is much more difficult than it sounds, Sarver did the only sensible thing he could think of and fired the defensive-minded coach that Steve Kerr was told to hire in the first place, basically undoing all the work that Kerr had put into the team over the last year or so.
Now the Suns are right back to where they started, except they have alienated the one piece they have left to build around by very publicly trying to trade him and all but assuring he will walk when his contract is up; traded two guys in Boris Diaw and Raja Bell who were perfect for the :07 seconds or less style only to scrap the idea of building a conventional championship team; and have gone back to the gimmick offense that has proven year after year to be ineffective during the playoffs.
The Suns are back to running up the score on terrible teams (140 points each in the three games against the Clippers and Thunder), back to playing no defense (68 first half points against the Celtics), and back to the good old days of "seven playoff wins or less."
For singlehandedly setting the Suns back years from ever achieving legitimacy again, from myself and everyone else out there who cannot stand the Phoenix Suns, we say, "Thank you, Robert Sarver."
Be sure to check back at Sports Central every Monday to see who cracks Scott Shepherd's rotation as he breaks down what is going on around the NBA.
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