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November 29, 2008

Sports Central 2008 Pro Bowl Picks

Pro Bowl voting has been open for over a month, but now every team has played most of its schedule, so it's finally reasonable to vote for each conference's representatives. Here's a look at my ballot, with AFC players listed first. I didn't vote for anyone who has been placed on injured reserve.

Quarterback

Philip Rivers (SD), Jay Cutler (DEN), Chad Pennington (MIA); Drew Brees (NO), Kurt Warner (ARI), Tony Romo (DAL)

Romo is the only one I also picked last season. I had Aaron Rodgers (GB) penciled in for the last spot, but he's been really disappointing in two of the last three weeks. I think Matt Ryan (ATL) and Romo have moved ahead of him. In the AFC, Cutler and Pennington barely edged Brett Favre (NYJ) and Peyton Manning (IND). Favre has the fewest yards in that group and has the most interceptions in the NFL, while Manning had that slow start to the season. Still, you wouldn't be crazy to vote for either of them.

Running Back

Thomas Jones (NYJ), Chris Johnson (TEN), Steve Slaton (HOU); Adrian Peterson (MIN), Clinton Portis (WAS), Michael Turner (ATL)

This position belongs to the NFC right now. I'd take Marion Barber (DAL), Matt Forte (CHI), Frank Gore (SF), and Brandon Jacobs (NYG) ahead of Slaton, maybe ahead of anyone from the AFC. The NFC is so strong right now that there's no one — not even Peterson — who is a must from that conference. I like Turner over Barber, Forte, and company because he's been so instrumental in turning that team around.

Wide Receiver

Andre Johnson (HOU), Reggie Wayne (IND), Brandon Marshall (DEN), Derrick Mason (BAL); Roddy White (ATL), Larry Fitzgerald (ARI), Anquan Boldin (ARI), Calvin Johnson (DET)

Andre Johnson is the one absolute must at this position. Mason is a little behind statistically because he plays on a team that prefers to run and features a rookie QB who is still learning. There were some really good NFC receivers I had trouble leaving off, especially Greg Jennings (GB) and Steve Smith (CAR). I don't like including anyone from the 0-11 Lions, but Johnson is doing so much for a terrible team, and it's impossible to ignore his production. Wes Welker (NE) is quietly having another fine season in New England.

Fullback

Heath Evans (NE); Madison Hedgecock (NYG)

Does this position even exist any more? Most teams hardly use their fullbacks these days, especially in the AFC. My favorites this season are Hedgecock and Brad Hoover (CAR). Mike Sellers (WAS), whom I chose last year, is also very good, but you shouldn't vote for him because he already has something like 80% of the fan vote, thanks to an aggressive campaign which allows Washington supporters to vote for the "Redskin Ticket", submitting a vote for every Redskin on the ballot with a couple clicks of the mouse. The NFL needs to ban "team tickets" for Pro Bowl voting.

Tight End

Tony Gonzalez (KC), Owen Daniels (HOU); Jason Witten (DAL), Chris Cooley (WAS)

It doesn't get any easier than NFC tight ends. You simply cannot vote for anyone other than Witten and Cooley. The AFC is significantly trickier. Antonio Gates (SD) is having a bit of a down season, but he's still a standout at the position. When he's healthy, Dallas Clark (IND) presents a serious problem to defenses. Bo Scaife (TEN) isn't on the ballot yet (he will be next week, when the NFL finally updates it), but he's in the mix, too. You can't go wrong with any of those guys; I chose Daniels because he has more catches and more yards than any AFC tight end but Gonzalez.

That wraps up the so-called "skill positions," but I want to make one quick point before we get to the offensive line. I'm a competent judge of line play, but having watched a limited number of games, I'm reduced to some guesswork at these positions. Other guys get highlights and statistics to help you choose, but not the offensive linemen. I'll be more confident in the offensive line selections for my all-pro team at the end of the season, when I've had more chances to see these guys. That disclaimer aside, here are my picks:

Center

Jason Brown (BAL), Nick Mangold (NYJ); Shaun O'Hara (NYG), Andre Gurode (DAL)

Brown and O'Hara have been exceptional this season, and you absolutely must have both of them on your ballot. I was already leaning toward Mangold for the spot behind Brown, but he absolutely sealed his place on my team after his performance against Tennessee. Gurode has been the Cowboys' most consistent performer on the offensive line this season.

Offensive Guard

Jake Scott (TEN), Alan Faneca (NYJ), Kris Dielman (SD); Chris Snee (NYG), Steve Hutchinson (MIN), Justin Blalock (ATL)

Snee is the clearest standout. He and Hutch repeat from last year's ballot, but the new addition is Justin Blalock, a second-round choice from last year's draft who has helped key Atlanta's second-ranked rushing attack. Pete Kendall (WAS) and Randy Thomas (WAS) were also in the mix. At the beginning of the season, I thought Leonard Davis (DAL) was a lock, but he's been inconsistent. Scott, who defected from Indianapolis, has been part of Tennessee's transformation into a powerhouse. Logan Mankins (NE) is close.

Offensive Tackle

Michael Roos (TEN), Ryan Clady (DEN), Matt Light (NE); Mike Gandy (ARI), Jammal Brown (NO), Chad Clifton (GB)

Clady beat out fellow rookie Jake Long (MIA), but both have made immediate impacts on their teams. Brown was a close call over his teammate Jon Stinchcomb (NO), but there are plenty of others I'm considering in the NFC, as well: Flozell Adams (DAL), Marc Colombo (DAL), Jordan Gross (CAR), and Jon Runyan (PHI) are all players I want more looks at. In the AFC, Joe Thomas (CLE) barely missed out to Light. Only Tennessee, Denver, and New Orleans have allowed fewer sacks than the Browns.

Defensive End

Aaron Smith (PIT), Mario Williams (HOU), Shaun Ellis (NYJ); Justin Tuck (NYG), John Abraham (ATL), Julius Peppers (CAR)

This has gotten really tricky in the AFC, because so many of the teams use 3-4 defenses. A 3-4 defensive end is like a 4-3 defensive tackle, and a 4-3 defensive end is like an 3-4 outside linebacker. Headache! The Ravens and Patriots actually don't have any DEs on the ballot — they're all listed as DTs — which is a shame, because there are several of them I'd take ahead of Williams and Ellis. Brett Keisel (PIT) is actually even better than Smith, but he's missed a lot of times with injuries this season.

Defensive Tackle

Albert Haynesworth (TEN), Kris Jenkins (NYJ), Shaun Rogers (CLE); Kevin Williams (MIN), Fred Robbins (NYG), Chris Hovan (TB)

Because of the AFC 3-4 thing, this position is stacked. I hate leaving some of these guys off, and for the sake of brevity I'll just list the most painful in alphabetical order: Tony Brown (TEN), Haloti Ngata (BAL), Trevor Pryce (BAL), Richard Seymour (NE). Tampa has a very strong line all the way across, with no clear standouts, but Hovan is my favorite. Barry Cofield (NYG) and Jovan Haye (TB) are close.

Outside Linebacker

James Harrison (PIT), Joey Porter (MIA), Terrell Suggs (BAL); Lance Briggs (CHI), DeMarcus Ware (DAL), Karlos Dansby (ARI)

Yeah, I took all pass rushers in the AFC. I made up for it in the NFC by selecting Briggs, a space guy who usually drops back to cover passes, and Dansby, who sometimes lines up at middle linebacker. The closest misses? LaMarr Woodley (PIT) in the AFC — another pass rusher! — and Chad Greenway (MIN) in the NFC. That guy is all over the field.

Inside Linebacker

James Farrior (PIT), Jerod Mayo (NE); Barrett Ruud (TB), Jon Beason (CAR)

Mayo was great in the Thursday night loss to the Jets, but I still have some questions about him, and I'm not sure he's really my second-favorite in the AFC. Ray Lewis (BAL) isn't the player he used to be, but he still has the killer instinct that a lot of players lack. All three of his interceptions were pretty close to gimmies — be in the right place at the right time — but a lot of players would have dropped a couple of those. Not Lewis. The NFC has incredible depth at this position. London Fletcher (WAS) deserves a vote, Stew Bradley (PHI) has played well, and Antonio Pierce (NYG) is always solid.

Cornerback

Nnamdi Asomugha (OAK), Cortland Finnegan (TEN), Terrence McGee (BUF); Charles Woodson (GB), Antoine Winfield (MIN), Asante Samuel (PHI)

Asomugha gets tested less than anyone. Darrelle Revis (NYJ) is growing up fast in New York, but McGee, once a return specialist, has now become a pretty special defensive player. The last CB spot in the NFC was really tough. I've chosen Ronde Barber (TB) for six years in a row, but he's really lost a step and doesn't deserve serious consideration this season. Terence Newman (DAL) and Shawn Springs (WAS) are game-changers when they're healthy, but both have missed most of the season. Chris Gamble (CAR) and Ken Lucas (CAR) were close, as was Carlos Rogers (WAS). Samuel has been disappointing at times this season (his performance against the Giants was not impressive), but I'll give him the tie-breaker since there are no other Eagles on my ballot so far. Philadelphia has the sixth-ranked defense in the NFL, despite a pretty bruising schedule.

Strong Safety

Chris Hope (TEN); Chris Horton (WAS)

The Chris H. thing is just a coincidence. Troy Polamalu (PIT) will make it on reputation, and he's made some great plays this year, but Hope is the right choice. Horton is a rookie who's still learning, but he's a serious playmaker. He leads Washington in interceptions and is second on the team in solo tackles. Chris Harris (CAR) and Adrian Wilson (ARI) are good, too, but Horton reminds me a little of Polamalu.

Free Safety

Ed Reed (BAL); Nick Collins (GB)

Reed is exceptionally dangerous, but Collins has been an even more devastating playmaker in the secondary this year, leading the NFL with three INT returns for touchdowns. The single-season record is four. O.J. Atogwe (STL) is a good player stuck on a rotten team. I also like Tanard Jackson (TB) and LaRon Landry (WAS).

Kicker

Phil Dawson (CLE); John Kasay (CAR)

Dawson has been effective from all distances, and he's a good kickoff man in addition to his field goals. Kasay has only missed one kick all season (54 yards at Oakland), but it's close between him and Jason Hanson (DET), who is 12-for-12 from 40+ yards this season, including an NFC-best 56-yard field goal.

Punter

Brian Moorman (BUF); Jeff Feagles (NYG)

Buffalo is a nasty place to kick, but Moorman consistently does it well, and this year, only about a third of his punts are getting returned. Mike Scifres (SD) is having another terrific season, as well. Sav Rocca (PHI) is having a good year, but here is an amazing statistic: in 40 punts this season, Feagles has only given up 54 return yards.

Kick Returner

Leon Washington (NYJ); Clifton Smith (TB)

Smith is the only player in the NFL to score on both a kickoff return and a punt return this season. The AFC race was between the three leaders in kickoff return average: Eddie Royal (DEN), Leodis McKelvin (BUF), and Washington. Royal only has 27 kickoff and punt returns all season, though, and none for a touchdown. McKelvin doesn't return punts. Washington is 3rd in the AFC in kickoff return average (28.8) and 4th in punt return average (12.1).

Special Teamer

Kassim Osgood (SD); Chase Blackburn (NYG)

I absolutely hate the choices on this part of the ballot. Half the teams don't even have their best special teamer listed. Josh Cribbs (CLE) is the best all-around special teamer in the NFL, and he's only listed as a kick returner. Quintin Demps (PHI) isn't listed anywhere right now.

The teams I voted for most this season were the Giants (7), Jets (6), and Titans (6). Last season, my leading teams were the Patriots (10), Colts (9), and Cowboys (7). This year, I apparently gave 7-4 Indianapolis no love (only 1, Reggie Wayne).

Midseason Awards

Offensive Player of the Year — Drew Brees (NO)
Defensive Player of the Year — James Harrison (PIT)
MVP — Drew Brees (NO)
Coach of the Year — Mike Smith (ATL)
Assistant — Steve Spagnuolo (NYG)
Rookie of the Year — Matt Ryan (ATL)

Posted by Brad Oremland at 11:40 AM | Comments (3)

November 27, 2008

What's Your NFL Team Thankful For?

Arizona Cardinals: Modern medicine

Without modern medicine, their elderly starting quarterback wouldn't be an MVP candidate, he'd be a nursing home candidate. Kurt Warner has been so good this season, it's hard to imagine that he once backed up Eli Manning, was benched for Marc Bulger, and had to fight to win his current job from Matt Leinart.

Atlanta Falcons: The criminal justice system

Think about this. Had Michael Vick not been arrested for dog fighting, Matt Ryan never would have been drafted, Mike Smith wouldn't be their bright new head coach, Thomas Dimitroff might not be their GM, and Bobby Petrino would probably still be their head coach.

Seriously, in retrospect, the Falcons have a ton to be thankful for.

Baltimore Ravens: Ed Reed

I can't even make a joke here. I'm too scared of Ray Lewis.

The fact that people like Bob Sanders enough to forget that Ed Reed is 10-times the player Sanders will ever be is beyond me. Bob Sanders couldn't hold Ed Reed's jock.

Buffalo Bills: Canadian transfer rate

The Bills get to go play in Toronto on December 7th against the Dolphins. Thanks to the transfer rate, their American money will buy them as many strippers as they require to get themselves through the boring Canadian weekend.

Carolina Panthers: Anger management courses

Am I the only one who thought their season was over when Steve Smith went crazy and beat the snot out of Ken Lucas in the preseason? The fact that they've been able to keep his temper in-check all season, especially considering how bad their passing game has been the last few weeks, is extremely surprising.

Steve Smith is insane. Insanely talented, but also completely insane.

Chicago Bears: Rex Grossman

Without Sexy Rexy, the Bears would never truly appreciate what they have in Kyle Orton. He's had a few down weeks since his injury, but Orton is the real deal.

Cincinnati Bengals: NFL overtime rules

Does anyone doubt that the Bengals would have eventually figured out how to lose that game against the Eagles had time not run out? Thanks to the NFL's stupid overtime rules, the Bengals have one less loss this season.

Cleveland Browns: The Dawg Pound

The Browns are terrible. They have been since they re-entered the league. Any other group of fans, except probably Oakland, would have given up on this team years ago.

The Browns, their coaching staff, their front office, and their players don't deserve such great and loyal fans.

Dallas Cowboys: Jessica Simpson's dad

The Cowboys should be thankful that Jessica Simpson's dad hasn't allowed Tony Romo to have enough time alone with his daughter to allow the stupid to rub off on him. Stupid is contagious. It's only a matter of time before Romo is infected.

Denver Broncos: The AFC West

The Broncos are terrible. The rest of the AFC West is even worse. If they played in any other division, they'd be staring last place in the face. Well, except the NFC North.

Detroit Lions: The progressive commissioner's office

At some point, maybe next season, the Detroit Lions will have their Thanksgiving day game stripped from them. The current NFL commissioner's office holds what's right for the league in higher regard than history and tradition. So the Lions will finall get to enjoy a Thanksgiving dinner home, and we'll finally get to enjoy real NFL football in their place.

It's a win-win.

Green Bay Packers: Aaron Rodgers

Any other young quarterback would have folded under the pressure. Not only is he replacing a legend, but he's replacing a legend who's currently enjoying a career year on another team. Add to that the expectations that last year's 13-3 season brought, it's amazing he hasn't curled into a ball and cried himself to sleep.

Houston Texans: Charley Casserly

He was practically run out of Houston, but take a look at his last draft. Mario Williams over Reggie Bush probably cost him his job, but in retrospect, it was a tremendously ballsy (and correct) decision. DeMeco Ryans in the second round was a steal. Owen Daniels was a solid fourth round pick.

He was right, everyone else was wrong. Just ask him.

Indianapolis Colts: Bill Belichick

Without Bill Belichick, Peyton Manning never would have learned to be a real NFL quarterback. Prior to Belichick getting into his head, Manning survived on talent and arm strength alone. Belichick defenses forced him to take his game to another level.

Belichick's inability to find anyone who can play cornerback or a linebacker who can cover a tight-end transformed Manning into a Super Bowl quarterback.

As an aside, Peyton Manning might be the best actor in the NFL. His commercials are gold.

Jacksonville Jaguars: Small media markets

Where they in a large media market, their disappointing season this year would be all anyone wants to talk about. Because they play in Jacksonville, they've been allowed to disappoint in utter obscurity.

Kansas City Chiefs: Arrowhead Stadium

Imagine how bad the Chiefs would be if they didn't play in the most intimidating stadium in the NFL? Herm Edwards needs all the help he can get...

Miami Dolphins: Bill Parcells

This one was obvious. But not because Parcells did any voodoo magic to fix the team. It's because of the people he brought in to fix the team. Parcells is a figure head, nothing more. The guys he brought in, Jeff Ireland and Tony Sparano, are the reason the Fish are back in the playoff chase only one year removed from 1-15.

Minnesota Vikings: Eagles incompetence

Thanks to the Philadelphia Eagles' incompetence, Donovan McNabb will likely be available this offseason. Which means the Vikings will have their pick of either Donovan McNabb or Matt Cassel this offseason.

So long, Tarvaris.

New England Patriots: Scott Pioli

Tom Brady in the sixth round? Probably luck. Matt Cassel in the seventh round? Wait, are we seeing a pattern?

Nobody gets this lucky. Nobody. Scott Pioli, or whoever the Patriots have scouting quarterbacks, is a friggin' genius. Interchangeable MVP caliber quarterbacks, both drafted in the sixth round or later? Good grief.

New Orleans Saints: NFL's emphasis on defensive pass interference

The Saints can do one thing well, and that's throw the ball. They can't run the ball. They can't stop teams from running the ball. They can't stop teams from passing the ball. So every time the NFL makes it tougher on defenses (read: whenever the Colts complain), it helps the Saints.

New York Giants: Nepotism

Let's be honest. If his last name wasn't Manning, Eli never would have been drafted first overall. Had he not been drafted first overall, the Giants likely wouldn't have stuck with him as long as they did given how badly he struggled early in his career. Now he's a Super Bowl MVP who is completely unstoppable in the fourth quarter of close games.

New York Jets: That Favre is a prima donna

If Brett Favre weren't a me-first prima donna, he'd likely still be the quarterback in Green Bay. If he didn't feel the need to make every offseason about his potential retirement, so he could ride in come preseason like a Wrangler jeans wearing cowboy and save the day, the Packers wouldn't have tired of his act. They never would have traded him. And the Jets would still be Chad Pennington's team.

Come to think of it, maybe the Dolphins should be thankful for this one, as well.

Oakland Raiders: ...

The Oakland Raiders, and their fans, have absolutely nothing to be thankful for. I guess they have their health, but the healthier they are, the longer they'll have to suffer through Al Davis' incompetence.

Philadelphia Eagles: The Phillies

You think Eagle fans are tough now, imagine how ticked off they'd be if the Phillies hadn't won a World Series a month ago? That said, I give them until the middle of December before they're back to their normal, everyone-hating selves again.

Pittsburgh Steelers: The Bengals and Browns

The last few seasons, either the Bengals or the Browns have been in position to overtake the Steelers in the AFC North. But both teams are so insanely incompetent, that every time they get close they take 15 steps back and the Steelers remain on top.

San Diego Chargers: The first 58 minutes of a game

The Chargers are the best team in the NFL for 58 minutes of just about every game. The problem is, they have to play the last two minutes. If they were a baseball team, they'd be praying for rain after every eighth inning. Their defense is the Joe Borowski of the NFL.

San Francisco 49ers: Al Davis and the Oakland Raiders

As long as Al Davis is alive, the 49ers will always be the best professional football team in the bay area. Unless you count USC.

Seattle Seahawks: Comfortable seats on airplanes

The Seahawks are on airplanes longer than any other team in the NFL. They fly to the East Coast four times this season. And it's not like Arizona, St. Louis, and Dallas are short flights, either.

Imagine being a two-win team, and having to do all that flying in coach. No thanks.

St. Louis Rams: The Detroit Lions

Just remember, it could always be worse. Not much worse, but worse.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Smoke and mirrors

Without smoke and mirrors, the Bucs would never be a first place football team. Jon Gruden is a magician. Even David Copperfield couldn't pull off a trick this impressive.

Tennessee Titans: Losing a game in the regular season

Just ask the Patriots. An undefeated regular season isn't all it's cracked up to be. Plus, if the 2007 New England Patriots couldn't handle the pressure, there's no way the 2008 Titans could have handled it.

Washington Redskins: Coach Gibbs' retirement

Let's be honest. The game had passed him by. He was employed on reputation alone. Jim Zorn might turn out to be a great head coach, but he's already an improvement over the guy he replaced.

Sean Crowe: Family and friends

Personally, I'm thankful for my children, my wife, their health, my health, and all of my friends and family.

Have a happy and safe Thanksgiving.

Sean Crowe is the New England Patriots Examiner at Examiner.com. He writes a column every other Thursday for Sports Central. You can email him at [email protected].

Posted by Sean Crowe at 11:53 AM | Comments (3)

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 13 (Pt. 2)

San Francisco @ Buffalo (-6)

After dropping 54 points on the Chiefs last week, the Bills finally won after a miserable four-game losing streak that saw them go from the AFC East lead to last place in the division. Now 6-5, the Bills will need a win over the 49ers to keep their slim playoff hopes alive.

"It's a rarity for the Bills seeing 50-plus points on the scoreboard," says Dick Jauron, "and not seeing the word 'Dallas' above it. Believe me, we don't want to get into many 54-31 shootouts. Seeing a scoreboard light up like that makes one's head spin. Which reminds me of my favorite Goo Goo Dolls album, 1998's Dizzy Up the Girl, not to be confused with Sebastian Janikowski's devious dating modus operandi."

San Francisco head coach Mike Singletary looks to lead the 49ers to their fourth win this year, and first against an AFC opponent.

"I've got something in common with every man on that Buffalo roster," says Singletary. "While they follow a 'Dick,' I followed one. Dick Nolan, that is. I'm proud of what I've accomplished since taking over the coaching job. What have I done that Dick didn't? Well, I've made losing fun. With Nolan, it was always a chore."

"All I ask of my guys is effort. If I don't get it, they'll soon find out why they call me 'Samurai' Mike. I won't chop a head off, but I'll chew one out. And also because I make players who have been sent off the field for acting a fool, like Vernon Davis, dress up like Giesha girls, complete with kimono robes and chopsticks in their hair."

With five Super Bowl wins for the 49ers, and four Super Bowl losses for the Bills, one would think their paths would have crossed in the big game at least once. It never happened, but that doesn't mean the Bills can take revenge anyway for the greedy 49ers hoarding all those Lombardi trophies. Buffalo wins, 23-20.

Carolina @ Green Bay (-3)

Are the Panthers the most perplexing team in the NFL? With sole possession of first place on the line, the Panthers didn't get a first down until they were already down 17-0 before eventually falling 45-28 in Atlanta. Carolina is now tied for first in the NFC South with Tampa Bay, and while they're a perfect 6-0 at home, they're 2-3 on the road, with a game at fabled Lambeau Field upcoming.

"Obviously," says John Fox, "our skills in the cities of visiting teams are not as impressive as those of our cheerleaders. First downs are not an issue for them. In fact, with the Top Cats, it's a race to see who can be 'first down.' From my perspective, there are no losers in that situation. And speaking of 'lip service,' we can say we're one of the NFC's better teams, but until we back that up on the road, it has very little credence."

The Packers suffered a demoralizing 51-29 defeat in New Orleans, succumbing to Drew Brees' 323 passing yards and four touchdowns. Aaron Rodgers tossed 3 interceptions, and the Packers fell to 5-6 in the NFC North, which is no disaster considering it leaves them only one game out of first.

"We're still in good shape as far as the playoffs go," says Mike McCarthy. "Thank goodness Detroit is in our division. Otherwise, we could be bringing up the rear in the North, which would give our detractors reason to call us the 'Fanny Pack.'"

"As far as Rodger's performance goes, he is still this team's quarterback for now and the foreseeable future. He's no Superman, and neither am I. It's even beyond my powers to get rid of two rocket-armed, interception-throwing quarterbacks in the span of less than a year."

Carolina wins, 26-24.

Miami @ St. Louis (+10)

While the 6-5 Dolphins are looking to rebound from their 48-28 loss to the Patriots, the 2-9 Rams are simply trying to make it through the year. The Rams suffered their fourth straight blowout loss, falling 27-3 to the Bears after lopsided losses to the Cardinals, Jets, and 49ers.

"Obviously, with a 2-9 record and no hope for the playoffs," says Jim Haslett, "motivation is a problem. 'Fired up' is not a word you hear around here very often, although 'fired' has certainly been making the rounds. It seems that the Rams' front office is calling itself the 'Firing Squad' now. I'll have to check with my agent, but I don't recall negotiating a blindfold and a cigarette as part of my severance package. Luckily, if that situation arises, quarterback Marc Bulger can finally make himself useful and interchange the 'l' and 'g' is his last name, thereby becoming a 'bugler' to play 'Taps.'"

In Miami, the Dolphins were handled 48-28 by the Patriots, a far cry from the Fins 38-13 win over New England earlier this year. The loss left the Dolphins two games out in the AFC East race.

"The Patriots did a good job of taking Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams out of our offense," says Tony Sparano. "Without those two, our offense isn't running on all eight cylinders. And, as you know, no engine, or offense, can run properly unless all eight cylinders are working."

"I understand what Coach Sparano is saying," says Williams, peering from behind the polyester curtains that adorn the bubble window in his 1974 Volkswagen van. "But I discovered, long ago, on my many travels to the mystical corners of the earth, where marijuana laws are loosely, if at all, enforced, that some things, in fact, run efficiently and smoothly with fewer than eight, and often with just one, cylinder working. I'm referring to water bongs, of course."

St. Louis averages only 13 points per game, and that's mainly because their offense usually scores in increments of three, while their opponents score in increments of seven. That Gateway Arch looks an awful lot like half of the McDonald's golden arches. So add the Dolphins to the list of the many that the Rams have "served" with easy victories this year. Brown rushes for 101 yards and a score, while Williams registers 95 total yards. Miami wins, 30-16.

NY Giants @ Washington (+3)

Without bruising tailback Brandon Jacobs anchoring their rushing attack, the Giants turned to the passing game to repel the upset bid of the Cardinals last week. With the G-Men held to 87 yards on the ground, Eli Manning picked up the slack with 240 passing yards and 3 touchdown passes as the New York won 37-29. On Sunday, New York will look for the season sweep over the Redskins.

"I think we've proven that we can't be stopped," says Jacobs, "and we'll do whatever it takes to win, whether that be running, passing, or having a Pittsburgh linebacker long-snapping the ball over the punters head and through the end zone, to grandmother's house we go. Oh sorry, I'm already looking forward to Christmas, a first-round bye, and the Super Bowl. I really don't see a scenario in which we don't win the NFC, which this year must be short for 'No Freaking Contest.'"

If the season ended right now, the Redskins would qualify for the playoffs as the No. 6 seed. However, much to the surprise of Donovan McNabb, the season doesn't end now. It ends on December 28, and Washington is likely to be in a dogfight for a wild card spot. An upset win over the G-Men would certainly boost their cause.

"It's not a time to be complacent," says Jim Zorn. "Everyone needs to step up their game and follow the example of Clinton Portis, who's not afraid to play hurt. His actions have made him a team leader. I'd like for Jason Campbell to show a little fire and emotion of his own, because we need our quarterback to be a leader. Jason is a little too mild-mannered for his own good. Just once I'd like him to be less like Jason Campbell and more like Naomi Campbell going berserk at an airport baggage terminal."

Let's be real for a minute. What's more important for the Redskins? A win, or losses by the Cowboys, Bucs, Panthers, Falcons, Saints, Bears, Vikings, and Packers? The latter is more likely. Heck, they're shooting for a wild card, not the division crown. New York wins, 22-17.

New Orleans @ Tampa Bay (-3)

After his 323-yard, 4-touchdown explosion on Monday night, Drew Brees is ahead of the pace to break Dan Marino's 1984 record of 5,084 passing yards in a season. But Brees has made it clear that he prefers a playoff berth more than individual glory. Standing in the way of the 6-5 Saints playoff hopes are the Buccaneers, who lead the NFC South.

"Like a summer breeze," says Sean Payton, "Drew Brees, makes me feel fine. If Drew can lead this team to 51 points per game for the rest of the year, I have no doubts that he'll shatter Marino's record, and we might even make the playoffs. Drew is driven to succeed, and if you've seen him lead the Saints in their pre-game rah-rah session, you get an understanding of his excitability, and the dangers of a brain aneurism. When Drew is in the zone, you see more fist-pumping than in a Billy Idol concert. If we're going to the post-season, it will be on his coattails."

Tampa is doubly motivated to beat the Saints. First, to maintain their division lead and set up a monster game at Carolina next Monday. Second, to avenge a 24-20 Week 1 loss to the Saints.

"I've challenged defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin to conceive a game plan to stop Brees," says Jon Gruden. "Because I've got no clue. As they say, 'age before beauty.' If Monte fails, it's on his conscious; if he succeeds, it's on my resume, and that old geezer Monte will be rewarded with a souped-up 1945 Indian motorcycle we like to call the 'crotch'-ety rocket."

It's hard to pick against a team that scored 51 points the previous week. So I won't. Saints win, 27-24.

Baltimore @ Cincinnati (+6½)

After arriving for a meeting late, then falling asleep in the meeting, Cincinnati's Chad Ocho Cinco was deactivated for last Thursday's 27-10 loss to the Steelers. While public sentiment called for coach Marvin Lewis to cut ties with his troublesome wide receiver, Ocho Cinco was back at practice the following Friday and is expected to start against the Ravens.

"I think Jack Twist of Brokeback Mountain fame put it best," says Lewis, "when he said 'I wish I knew how to quit you.' Well, I don't know how to quit Ocho Cinco. We obviously have a special bond. You know, like when you Crazy Glue one finger to another. And it would be hard getting rid of Ocho Cinco just when I'm getting used to calling him 'Ocho Cinco.' But if he's looking for another name, I have a few suggestions. He could call himself 'Deactivate-5.' Or, better yet, he could change his name to 'Former Bengal.'"

Ravens win, 27-13.

Indianapolis @ Cleveland (+4½)

Adam Vinatieri's 51-yard field goal as time expired gave the Colts a huge 23-20 win over the Chargers, and helped avenge two losses to San Diego last year. With a 7-4 record, the Colts are in solid position for a wild card berth, and have head-to-head edges over the AFC's two other 7-4 teams, Baltimore and New England. Indy will try to win their fifth straight with a victory over the Browns in the Dawg Pound.

"It's an interesting time to be a quarterback," says Peyton Manning. "There's all this talk of quarterbacks with broken fingers, and quarterbacks getting benched, and quarterbacks who don't know that games can end in ties. Not that I need to feel any better about myself, but I do anyway. And that doesn't just apply to quarterbacking. It also applies to my endorsement decisions. I feel absolutely fantastic about the choices I've made in the advertising arena. Hearing the words 'I'm Lee Corso for Hooters' will do that."

"As for the Browns, I now understand that Brady Quinn is out for the season with a broken finger. He must have South 'Bent' it. Just when we had game-planned for Quinn, now we have to regroup and plan for Derek Anderson. 3-2-1. Okay, we're done. You know, the Browns have spent loads of cash on those two quarterbacks. Anderson signed a huge extension last year, and Quinn has a pretty large rookie contract. Talk about money 'shot.'"

The Colts are in great position for a wild card spot, especially considering their upcoming schedule includes Cincinnati, Detroit, and Jacksonville. But they have to be careful not to slip into that No. 6 seed, lest they have to play at the AFC's No. 3 seed, which is shaping up to be the Jets or Steelers. The No. 4 seed is likely to be the AFC West winner, making the No. 4 seed the place to be.

Manning throws for 3 touchdowns and Indianapolis wins, 31-14.

Atlanta @ San Diego (-5½)

Atlanta's Michael Turner has 13 rushing touchdowns this year, which dwarfs LaDainian Tomlinson's total of five. Turner was Tomlinson's backup for four years before signing with the Falcons as a free agent this offseason. The two go head-to-head as the 7-4 Falcons visit the 4-7 Chargers, with both teams needing wins to stay in the playoff hunt.

"I'm sure the Chargers are wishing they would have reconsidered not resigning Turner," says Matt Ryan. "By letting Michael go, it was a case of 'Turn' a,nd Burn.' Maybe Campbell's should throw some Chunky Soup Michael's way. Not many people are buying what L.T.'s selling. Of course, San Diego is a team known for making decisions, then questioning those very decisions. Such as hiring Marty Schottenheimer, or firing Marty Schottenheimer, or hiring Norv Turner, or drafting Ryan Leaf, or agreeing to a game in Denver refereed by Ed Hochuli."

Falcons win, 30-28.

Pittsburgh @ New England (-1)

Matt Cassel's 415-yard, 3-touchdown performance last Sunday in Miami certainly had heads turning, most notably those of Dolphin defensive backs who were covering Randy Moss, who caught all three of Cassel's scoring passes. Moss described Cassel's play as "hellified," which falls somewhere on the jive scale between "funkified" and "skankafied."

"Matt's playing his ass off," says Moss. "I call that 'rectified.' Now, his lady friends don't turn me on like Tom Brady's squeeze, Giselle Bundchen. In other words, they're not 'bonified.'"

"I'm sure you've all heard the rumors that the Patriots may re-sign Cassel and trade Tom Brady. I think that could be beneficial to all parties involved. The Pats would have their quarterback of the future, and they could get a load of draft picks for Brady. Who knows? Maybe the Pats could trade Brady to the Jets next year. Of course, that's all pending Brett Favre's announcement in late August concerning his plans for the upcoming year."

With Willie Parker likely out for Sunday's game, the burden of Pittsburgh's hopes once again fall on the broad shoulders of Ben Roethlisberger. Lately, the Steeler running attack has been a non-factor, so Big Ben and the Steelers receiving corps will have to pick up the slack.

"You know," says Roethlisberger. "Pittsburgh quarterbacks throughout the years have had their favorite receivers. Terry Bradshaw had Lynn Swann and John Stallworth. Neil O'Donnell had Dallas cornerback Larry Brown. And I've got Hines Ward. He's not only a popular target with me, but with bounty collectors throughout the NFL, although they've never collected."

Pittsburgh coach Mike Tomlin has a habit of making questionable decisions, but his decision prior to Sunday's game may be his most perplexing. To deliver the game plan, Tomlin shows up in spandex workout gear and a headband, as Olivia Newton-John's "Let's Get Physical" plays in the background.

"OMG!" texts Larry Foote to fellow linebacker James Farrior.

"No. ON-J," texts Farrior back to Foote.

Despite the odd manner of delivery, with Tomlin performing a number of stretches and high kicks while handing out assignments, it's a solid game plan, and most of the Steelers get the message.

The Pittsburgh defense slows down the Patriot offense, forcing Cassel to make risky throws, and Roethlisberger throws for three scores. Pittsburgh wins, 24-19.

Denver @ NY Jets (-9)

After a convincing 34-13 dismantling of the previously unbeaten Titans, the Jets have to be considered a threat to win the Super Bowl in what could possibly be a New York versus New York title game. On Sunday, the Jets host the Broncos and quarterback Jay Cutler, one of the NFL's hardest-throwing quarterbacks.

"I don't think Denver strikes fear into anyone," says Brett Favre. "Heck, I think John Denver was even more intimidating than the Broncos. But the words of Denver, John, resonate with me when I'm strolling down the City's concrete jungle, sidestepping the homeless, burning trash cans, fans asking for autographs, or Joe Namath asking for a kiss, and I remind myself that 'Thank God I'm a Country Boy.'"

"But after such an emotional win last Sunday, we have to avoid a letdown. The Broncos can strike in a hurry. But so can we. But why rush things? If there's one thing I've learned, it's to be patient. That applies to taking what the defense gives you, as well as making decisions to retire."

The Broncos had a perfect opportunity to extend their AFC West lead to three games, but were ambushed by the Raiders at Invesco Field in a 31-10 loss. With the loss, Denver still holds a two-game cushion over the Chargers.

"Sure, we blew our chance to extend our lead," says Mike Shanahan. "But we really came through in opening up the debate as to whether a division winner with a lesser record than a wild card team should have home-field advantage in the playoffs. And what if there's two wild card teams with better records than the division winner. Or three, even. The possibilities are endless, and likely, this year. In this time of giving thanks, I'm thankful we're in the AFC West and not in any other division in the AFC, where we'd be no better than third."

"I can tell you this, though. We may not intimidate people, but we won't be intimidated either. I've handled much tougher issues in the past than a defense that makes JaMarcus Russell look like John Elway. I handled devastating injuries, disgruntled players, drug problems, and probably the most challenging issue of my career — the day last year when we hosted 'Bring Your Kids to Work Day' and Travis Henry showed up."

New York wins, 33-24.

Kansas City @ Oakland (-3)

With a surprising 31-10 win in Denver last week, the Raiders not only ended a 15-quarter offensive touchdown drought, but also avenged Week 1's 41-14 loss to Denver. Darren McFadden's one-yard touchdown run in the third quarter was the Raiders first offensive TD since October 26 against Baltimore.

"I'm proud of this team's resilience in trying to find the end zone," says Al Davis, who's so old, he remembers having not turkey on his first few Thanksgivings, but smallpox. "You know, a few more quarters without an offensive touchdown, and we soon would have had to resort to drastic measures. By that, I mean I would have brought in Kenny Stabler and Dave Casper to diagram a special play that's guaranteed to result in a touchdown."

The 1-10 Chiefs are making a case for themselves as the AFC's worst team, particularly after suffering a 54-31 beating at the hands of the Bills. Herman Edwards is treading on shaky ground as the Chiefs head coach, but as always, views things through rose-colored glasses.

"Hey, you've always got to remain positive," says Edwards. "Even if life throws you a curveball, or a wobbly Tyler Thigpen pass, you've got to look on the bright side. You just never know when life will present you with a Joe Pisarcik fumble to be returned for a touchdown, giving you your one, and only, defining moment as a professional."

After Edwards has his Thanksgiving meal, you could say that "Herman ate." Which rhymes with "terminate."

Oakland wins, 26-17.

Chicago @ Minnesota (-3½)

With a two-way tie in the NFC North, nothing is for sure except that one of these two teams, or Green Bay, will be heading to the playoffs as the division winner, while the other two will be sitting at home. Luckily for the Bears and Vikings, who are both 6-5, their six wins have qualified them for a bowl game.

"There's still very much up in the air concerning this division," says Brad Childress. "We, along with the Bears, and Packers, for that matter, are steeling ourselves for a five-game race to the playoffs. It will be an arduous journey, and the winner will be bruised and worn, and hardened for an early playoff exit."

"Hopefully, our offense can make as many trips to the end zone as our defensive line has made to Roger Goodell's office."

Vikings win, 28-21.

Jacksonville @ Houston (-3)

Apparently, the schedule-makers for "Monday Night Football" thought the Jaguars/Texans matchup would be something more than a battle between two 4-7 teams. As it is, the winner is going nowhere further than out of the AFC South cellar. Jacksonville, picked by many as a sure playoff team, has been the NFL's biggest disappointment.

"Sure, we're going nowhere fast," says Jack Del Rio. "But the important thing is these guys have learned a valuable life lesson: don't back-sass Jack Del Rio. The tension in our locker room is so thick you can cut it with a knife, or a credit card if you're Matt Jones."

Texans win, 29-20.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:21 AM | Comments (0)

November 26, 2008

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 13 (Pt. 1)

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Tennessee @ Detroit (+11)

The first of three Thanksgiving Day games kicks off as the AFC South-leading Titans invade Ford Field, home of the winless Lions, in what has been dubbed the Thanksgiving "Feast or Famine" game. Tennessee had its undefeated run end last week in a 34-13 loss to Brett Favre and the Jets. While a chance a payback will have to wait until the playoffs, the Titans can easily get back on the winning trail with a win over the Lions.

"A win by the visiting team in Detroit has become as much of a Thanksgiving tradition as Thanksgiving itself," says Jeff Fisher. "And what's the craze that's been 'sweeping' Detroit all year? The visiting team, of course."

"The Jets took us out of our game early, forcing us to abandon our running attack. Chris Johnson and LenDale White were both ineffective, and that's bad news for us. Heck, LenDale had only one carry for -1 yard. I guess LenDale wasn't 'feeling kind of Sunday,' although, judging by his waistline and his penchant for eating when upset, I'm sure he was feeling kind of 'sundae' afterwards."

The Lions raced to a 17-0 lead last week over the Bucs, only to lose 38-20 and fall to 0-11. Lions coach Rod Marinelli knows a quick start against the Titans is imperative if the Lions intend to compete for their first win.

"Tennessee finally tasted defeat," says Marinelli. "It's a flavor we've been unable to cleanse from our palates as of yet. But with their loss last Sunday, a crack in the armor of the Titans has been exposed. And where there's a crack, there's a 'taint,' the letters of which, when scrambled, spell 'Titan.' When you're 0-11, you look for inspiration in the darkest of places."

"But, if we lose, I could be out the door. This may be my 'Waterloo.' Boy, do I wish I were talking about the ABBA song and not the site of Napoleon Bonaparte's final, crushing defeat. I fear I'll be exiled to the 'Island of Misfit Lions Head Coaches.' Hopefully, there will be room for me."

What's worse for the Lions that peering across the line of scrimmage and seeing the colossal Albert Haynesworth? I'll tell you what. Haynesworth looking back and seeing a plump and delicious Butterball at quarterback for the Lions, Daunte Culpepper, directly in his line of sight. Haynesworth is hungry, and so are the Titans.

Tennessee gets its rushing attack back in gear. The Titans take an early lead and don't look back. Tennessee wins, 32-10.

Seattle @ Dallas (-13)

It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without the late afternoon Turkey Day game in Dallas, and while there's neither snow nor a Leon Lett appearance forecast, it should be an entertaining day in Big D. The Cowboys have won two in a row with Tony Romo and a serviceable pinkie back at quarterback, and Terrell Owens is content after a seven-catch, 213-yard day in Dallas' 35-22 win over the 49ers.

"The Seahawks are 2-9," says Romo, "but records can be deceiving. Heck, we're 7-4. Anyway, my pinkie's almost totally healed, and while I'll miss the attention it's brought me, I'm sure the media/paparazzi will find another of my dangling appendages to sensationalize. Not that it needs sensationalizing. And speaking of 'Big Units,' left-handed fireballer Randy Johnson made a name for himself in Seattle, which is who we'll be facing on Thursday. Not Johnson, but Seattle. Although I have disturbing memories of my last game against the Seahawks, I've somehow put the memories of that fumbled snap behind me. It was easy to forget when there was another playoff failure the very next year."

"Anyway, all is well in Dallas. Terrell Owens is happy. Pacman Jones is back. Unfortunately, both of those statements have to be amended with the qualifier 'for now.' We'll see which lasts longer."

Like Romo, Seattle quarterback Matt Hasselbeck has dealt with injury, albeit a more serious situation than a broken pinkie. Hasselbeck's back and knee injuries have kept him out of several games, but he is expected to play at Dallas.

"I'm still shaking off the rust," says Hasselbeck. "And I'm sure Pacman Jones will be doing the same once he returns to the Dallas lineup. I'm not real clear on the details of Jones' reinstatement, but 'shaking off the rust' may be a violation of those terms. And let's be honest. Jones is not the brightest guy in the world. I wonder is he even knows the difference between 'shaking off the rust' and 'shaking down a stripper.'"

Cowboys win, 31-20.

Arizona @ Philadelphia (-3)

Quick! Someone tell Donovan McNabb that in addition to the fact that games can end in a tie, there is now not only two, but three Thanksgiving Day games! And he's scheduled to play in the NFL Network's night game, as the Eagles host the Cardinals. "Awareness" hasn't exactly been a word used to describe McNabb's state of mind lately. After admitting he didn't know games could end in ties after Week 11's 13-13 tie with the Bengals, McNabb threw 2 interceptions and lost a fumble before being benched by Andy Reid against the Ravens.

"Hey, pimpin' ain't easy," says Andy Reid. "And this is a situation in which the principles of pimping can be applied to the game of football. If you don't put out, then you get 'bench-slapped.' Sure, it's been a tough two weeks for McNabb. First the 'tie' controversy, then the benching, which has inevitably led to talk of Donovan's demise as our quarterback. That's what you call getting 'tie-died.'"

Kurt Warner threw for 351 yards and 1 touchdown last week, but it wasn't enough to overcome the Giants, who won 37-29 in Arizona. The Cardinals failed in their bid to clinch the NFC West, but can do so with a win Thursday or a 49er loss on Sunday.

"There's only one thing that can stop our passing game," says Warner. "And that's our running game. We piled up a whopping 23 yards on 15 carries against the Giants. Of course, two of those carries were for touchdowns, but that's an aberration. Who's more likely to bite on 'play action?' Marv Albert, or opposing defenses? I think the answer is clearly Albert, assuming he's with a prostitute named 'Play Action.'"

"As for McNabb, he'll get through his troubles, with or without the Lord's help. The whole 'tie' situation has been way overblown. I think there's a whole lot in the rule book that most players wouldn't be aware of. For future reference, I'd just like to point out to Donovan that, as well as ending in ties, games can start that way, as well."

The Eagles offense has been horrible as of late, so it's up to their defense to provide a spark. And against the pass-happy Cardinals, that means a blitzkrieg of blitzes. And, with McNabb fully-schooled on the rules of the game, the Eagles are ready to break out of their slump.

Bryan Westbrook rushes for two scores, and the Eagle defense forces a Warner fumble and an interception. Philly wins, 29-24.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:40 AM | Comments (0)

Five College Hoops Storylines to Watch

If you love college sports, this is the best time of the year. Right around Turkey Day, you're guaranteed the best of both worlds: an exciting and mostly controversial end to the college football season with Rivalry Week and Championship Saturday and BCS Selection Sunday on the horizon. Add to that plate, for the roundball fanatics, a return to the arena with early action and holiday tournaments from San Juan to Maui.

It's way too early to know definitively how things will play out in the college basketball season, but here are five things to keep an eye on for the 2008-09 season.

Can the Tar Heels pull it off?

The fate of North Carolina basketball and coach Roy Williams go hand in hand. Both in recent history have had teams that were destined to cut down the nets, only to suffer agonizing defeat by mysterious ways. In more blunt terms, they choked. Roy Williams and UNC both shook the stigma of choking in 2005 when they got the Siemens Trophy, but we can recall plenty of times when they didn't close the deal.

Remember the Tar Heel teams of '94, '95, '97, and '98? Or even two Roy Willams' teams at Kansas, namely, the '97 team thought to be one of the greatest ever featuring Raef Lafrentz, Scott Pollard, Paul Pierce, and Jacque Vaughn, upset in the Sweet 16 by eventual champs Arizona? How about the '98 team minus Vaughn, with an embarrassing loss to Rhode Island in the second round? And '02 and '03 teams had championship dreams only to falter in the Final Four to Maryland and the final against Syracuse.

Nonetheless, the Heels are stacked from top to bottom, with veterans Tyler Hansborough, Ty Lawson, Wayne Ellington, and Marcus Ginyard and a group of talented freshmen lead by Tyler Zeller, but they suffered a huge blow when he injured his wrist late in the win over Kentucky and may be lost of the season. However, all signs still point to Carolina and Roy Williams heading to Ford Field in April. The first big test will come ironically enough at Ford Field against Michigan State in the ACC/Big Ten Challenge on Dec. 3.

Will patience be a virtue in the Bluegrass or Hoosier Nation?

Things have come a long way in Lexington and Bloomington. Gone, perhaps temporarily, are days when these two programs were among the elite in the rankings and when their annual meeting in the RCA Dome meant a battle royal for basketball majesties. There are major rebuilding projects with the Hoosiers and Wildcats. Billy Gillispie had a rough start in his first year at Rupp Arena, losing to Gardner Webb in the season-opener last year. Kentucky rebounded nicely to finish 12-4 in conference and Gillespie was named SEC Coach of the Year. Things started rocky again this season, however, with a crushing loss to VMI.

In Indiana, Tom Crean arrived from Marquette to clean up the disaster of scandals that was the Kelvin Sampson era. After losing Big Ten player of the year D.J. White and super freshman Eric Gordon to the NBA and with a very young, but promising team, it could be a season full of learning experiences for Crean and the Hoosiers. The key will be for the faithful at both schools to give Crean and Gillispie time to develop their young teams and not head to the town square with torches and pitchforks if they struggle this year.

Bracket Busters: major or myth?

Mark February 21, 2009 on your calendar: this is when ESPN will be sponsoring their "Bracket Buster" weekend. Many of the teams we saw last year made huge impacts last year in the tournament. The secret is out on mid-majors and the dangers they pose to the "elite" of college basketball (see Davidson last year). If you're a casual fan of college basketball and want a leg up on who to look out for once Selection Sunday is a wrap and the brackets are released, tune in and catch the Drakes, VCUs, Butlers, San Diegos, and Gonzagas that may look to wreck the common man's bracket.

What will Davidson's Stephen Curry do for an encore?

We saw Stephen Curry in his freshman year lead Davidson to the 2007 NCAA tournament and almost pull it out against Maryland with a 30-point effort in the first round. That performance put him on the watch list for 2008. After lighting up scoreboards once again last season and putting one of the all-time best individual performances in the NCAA tourney in getting Davidson within a whisker of its first Final Four ever, you can believe that Curry won't sneak up on anyone this year. He has already dropped 43 points on Oklahoma in a loss, is averaging 35 points so far, and is in the top 30 list for the Naismith Trophy. It will be hard for him to carry the Wildcats on his back yet again, but it's possible we could see him as a First Team All-American, Naismith finalist, and "the hunted" come March.

Who will be the Diaper Dandy to "drool for?"

Last year, Derrick Rose, Mike Beasley, and Eric Gordon all parlayed huge rookie seasons into NBA selections this season. This year, the spotlight will be on a few making debuts on campus this winter. Look out for Oklahoma's Willie Warren, Memphis's Tyreke Evans, USC's Demar Derozan (who came with his "homeboy" "Lil'" Romeo Miller), UConn's Kemba Walker, and Ohio State big man B.J. Mullens.

Posted by Brian Cox at 11:19 AM | Comments (0)

November 25, 2008

NFL Week 12 Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* Later this week, Sports Central will post my annual Pro Bowl selections column, with picks for both conferences and brief comments at each position, so be sure to check back for it.

* Yesterday, a friend was telling me how there's no discrimination against black quarterbacks any more. If Donovan McNabb gets benched, there will be four black QBs starting in the NFL. Four out of 32. What wonderful progress. That's counting Daunte Culpepper.

* I'm sorry, Saints fans, but stealing your cheer from the Bengals is the most pathetic thing I've ever heard of.

* On Monday night, Stuart Scott called Charles Woodson a future Hall of Famer. I think he's jumping the gun on that one. If he retired today, Woodson would not get in.

* No one from the AFC East, NFC East, or NFC South has a losing record. This is almost entirely due to the two Western divisions, which boast a combined record of 28-50.

***

This week, Tony Kornheiser once again demonstrated that he has no business on MNF. Before the game even began, he admitted, "This is probably gonna be what I'm gonna say the entire game." That's what Tony does. He doesn't know anything about football — it's not even clear that he particularly likes football — so he latches onto a storyline before the telecast starts, and just rides it throughout the night. This week, for the ninth or tenth time this season, his story was Brett Favre. At one point, when Kornheiser was needlessly interjecting Favre into the conversation for the 20th time, Ron Jaworski snapped at him: "I think it's an absolutely ridiculous statement."

Kornheiser has to go. His presence in the booth is a slap in the face of every football fan in the country. Mike Tirico and Jaworski would be a great booth by themselves. Get Kornheiser out. PTI is fine, but MNF and its fans deserve better. Whoever makes the decisions at ESPN, I guarantee you that no one watches MNF because of Kornheiser. They're basically just paying him to piss people off.

Anyway, for the power rankings, brackets show last week's rank.

1. New York Giants [2] — Here's what I don't get: Week 3 and Week 6. How did the Bengals take them to overtime? How did they get blown out by the Browns? They've put together five straight impressive victories against top competition, and struggled against the worst teams in the AFC North. Those puzzling performances notwithstanding, this is a better team than last year's Super Bowl champions.

2. Tennessee Titans [1] — Forty passes, 11 runs. There's your problem. Actually, the bigger problem was defense. The Jets' offensive line dominated Tennessee's defensive front and New York controlled time of possession by 40:30-19:30. The Titans made a lot of mistakes they couldn't afford against a good team, but they'll be fine going forward.

3. New York Jets [8] — Really impressive, efficient game from the offense. After a slow start to the season, Brett Favre has really been playing well recently. He's not the MVP-type player we saw in the late 1990s, but he's managing the game and making plays when he needs to. The offensive line was exceptional against Tennessee.

4. Pittsburgh Steelers [3] — The unsung heroes are defensive ends Aaron Smith and Brett Keisel. Smith was a major force on Thursday night, deflecting three passes, but Keisel left the game with a knee injury, and it sounds like the injury is serious, which will noticeably affect Pittsburgh's defense. The next game, at New England, has huge playoff implications for both teams.

5. Indianapolis Colts [5] — What do they have against quarterback sneaks? I understand the bold pass to Marvin Harrison at the end of the game, but before that, the Colts had about ½-yard to go three times, and never used the sneak. Was it lack of confidence in backup center Jamey Richard, subbing for an injured Jeff Saturday? Even if you don't want to sneak, don't go shotgun in that situation. At least make the defense respect the possibility.

6. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [7] — Huge defensive performance against the lowly Lions. The Bucs held Detroit to 207 yards and nine first downs, picking up four sacks and three turnovers, including an interception return for a touchdown. Warrick Dunn also had a really nice game, rushing for 90 yards with a 6.4 average and a TD, plus 5 catches for another 37 yards. Dunn, a rookie in 1997, has been a good player for a long time.

7. Arizona Cardinals [6] — I have little doubt that they're better than Philadelphia, but I think this Thursday's game is going to give them problems. The Cardinals are only 3-3 on the road, they have to make that West-to-East trip that's been so deadly, and Arizona has lost its last seven Thanksgiving Day games.

8. Baltimore Ravens [10] — Outstanding defensive performance against Philadelphia; the Eagles' only score came on special teams. The concern is offense, where the Ravens rank 28th in yards per play (4.7), behind the Lions and ahead of four teams with a combined record of 8-35-1.

9. Atlanta Falcons [11] — If the playoffs started today, the Falcons would stay home, because their conference record is ½-game behind Washington's. But they're a very serious playoff contender, one game behind Carolina and Tampa in the division, and battling with Washington and Dallas for the last wild card spot. The Week 13 game at San Diego is make-or-break for the both teams, and the loser will probably miss the postseason.

10. Carolina Panthers [4] — What is it with homefield advantage in the NFC South? The division is a collective 20-2 at home, and 8-13 on the road. At this rate, all four teams will finish with 3-3 division records, winning their home games and losing away. The Panthers have three road games remaining on the schedule, but their most important matchup, against 8-3 Tampa Bay, is at home.

11. Dallas Cowboys [13] — Their biggest on-field problem has been turnovers: too many on offense and not enough from the defense. The Cowboys are -6 in turnovers this season, which ranks 27th. Against San Francisco, the Dallas won the turnover battle for the first time in almost a month. It also doesn't hurt, of course, when Terrell Owens has a 200-yard receiving day. Memo to defenses: you still have to double-cover him.

12. New England Patriots [15] — Second in the NFL in first downs (behind Arizona). This team has perfected the art of the safe underneath passing game. Randy Moss is there to keep defenses honest, but he's not the focus this season, more of a decoy. Matt Cassel doesn't like to go long; New England ranks 23rd in pass plays of 20 yards or more. But Cassel has gotten very comfortable with the underneath stuff, and he's now a proven threat to run the ball effectively, as well. I'd still like to see more Moss, but this offense is really coming together.

13. Miami Dolphins [14] — The Wildcat is losing its effectiveness. In the formation's first two games, Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams combined for 375 rushing yards, an average of 187.5 per game. Since then, that average has dropped to 89.3. No one thought Miami would average 200 rushing yards all season, but under 90 would rank in the NFL's bottom five. Chad Pennington is having a good year, but he can't carry the offense single-handedly, and right now, that's what the Dolphins are asking him to do.

14. Green Bay Packers [12] — I'm sure it must have happened before, but I can't think of a time when I've seen another unit get humiliated on a nationally-televised game the way Green Bay's defense did on Monday. They absolutely had no answer for Drew Brees. After an initial three-and-out, the Saints scored on eight of their next nine possessions (seven TD, one FG), the only exception being that ill-advised trick play that got intercepted. All game, Green Bay's defense showed nothing. It was a shameful performance, and everyone saw it.

15. Philadelphia Eagles [9] — What was Andy Reid thinking, bring in Kevin Kolb, cold off the bench, in the middle of a game at Baltimore? The Eagles were outscored 10-7 with McNabb and 26-0 with Kolb. Reid says he made the change to try and get a spark, but it looked more like a desperate attempt to deflect criticism from himself. It was the wrong time to try something like that.

16. Chicago Bears [16] — Longest winning streak this season is two games. Longest losing streak this season is also two games. I guess the Bears are just very even keel. They don't build a lot of momentum, but they don't go into slumps, either. In this year's NFC North, that might be enough to eke out a division title.

17. New Orleans Saints [18] — Coming into this week, Green Bay had the top pass defense in the NFL, led by a standout secondary. The Saints adapted by attacking different parts of the defense with passes. Drew Brees completed 20 throws on Monday night, and only seven were to wide receivers. Instead, he focused on tight ends and running backs. I know the big plays were both to wideouts, but it was the tight ends who really dictated the game to Green Bay's defense, and the Packers' linebacking corps looked very vulnerable in coverage. It was really classy how the Saints went for two at the end of the game.

18. Minnesota Vikings [20] — Proving that you don't need great QB play to win games. Against Jacksonville, Gus Frerotte had just 120 passing yards with an interception and no touchdowns. He also got sacked three times, and his passer rating was 56.2, but Minnesota won, 30-12. Look at the quarterbacks of the NFL's best teams: Eli Manning, Kerry Collins, Brett Favre, Ben Roethlisberger, Jeff Garcia, Jake Delhomme. None of those guys is a great quarterback. Who among them deserves to go the Pro Bowl? Maybe Favre? The secret to NFL success: a slightly above-average QB! Forget Kurt Warner (7-4), Drew Brees (6-5), and Philip Rivers (4-7)!

19. Washington Redskins [19] — Santana Moss is the key. When Moss has at least 50 receiving yards, Washington is 6-0. When he doesn't, the team is 1-4. In their wins, Moss averages 96 yards. In the losses, he averages 25 yards. Clinton Portis moves the chains, but Moss is the big-play guy, the one who gets them to the end zone.

20. Denver Broncos [17] — Ah, the defense so bad it can make JaMarcus Russell look good. Russell had a career day against Denver, with 91% completion percentage, 13.8 yards per attempt, and a 149.1 passer rating, easily career bests in each category. This says more about Denver's defense than about Russell's progress.

21. Buffalo Bills [24] — What a turnaround for Trent Edwards. Last week, he had his worst game of the season. He just didn't look up to the task. This week, he had probably the best game of his career, throwing two TD passes and running for two more. His long bomb to Lee Evans was about as good a pass as we've seen this season. Edwards is still very young, and I don't know if he'll develop the consistency a good starter needs, but the potential is certainly there.

22. San Diego Chargers [22] — At 4-7, they're still very much alive for a playoff berth. Here's how: the Chargers win three of their next four games (ATL, OAK, @KC, @TB), and the Broncos lose at the 8-3 Jets and Panthers. That makes San Diego 7-8, and Denver 8-7. In Week 17, the Broncos travel to San Diego. The Chargers win at home, and they'll win the division. It doesn't seem fair that an 8-8 AFC West team could get a home playoff game while one or more 10-6 clubs miss the playoffs altogether.

23. Cleveland Browns [21] — They intercepted Sage Rosenfels twice and Braylon Edwards had a big day, but they still lost. I know Derek Anderson had a bad game, too, but how do you start Brady Quinn — who may or may not be your best QB — when he has a broken finger?

24. Houston Texans [26] — After long struggles away from home, the Texans got their first road win in over a year on Sunday. Oddly, Houston is the only team in its division with a better record at home than away. The Titans, Colts, and Jags all have better records on the road.

25. Jacksonville Jaguars [23] — The offense is a disgusting mess. This offseason, the Jags need to ignore their defense. Sign offensive linemen and receivers in free agency, then get more offensive linemen and receivers in the draft.

26. Seattle Seahawks [25] — This isn't just about injured receivers any more. Something's wrong with Matt Hasselbeck. He's been one of the best QBs of this decade, but he has played terribly this season. In six games, only once did Hasselbeck post a passer rating above 55.0 (Week 3, vs. St. Louis). Hasselbeck is obviously the starter for 2009, but maybe Seneca Wallace should be playing right now. If nothing else, why risk further injury to Hasselbeck in a lost season?

27. San Francisco 49ers [27] — Let me tell you a little about the NFC West. The 49ers are 3-8. They've been outscored by 58 points this season. They rank 22nd in offense and 23rd in defense. And they rank 2nd in the division in every one of those categories. That's how bad the Seahawks and Rams are: the 49ers — who are terrible — beat them in every major team statistic.

28. Oakland Raiders [30] — Breakout offensive performance against the hated Broncos. How many starting quarterbacks can have — unequivocally — their best game of the season, and only throw for 152 yards?

29. Cincinnati Bengals [28] — Okay, raise your hand if you think Chad Johnson is still worth the headache. Cris Collinsworth actually said on Thursday that Johnson is the Bengals' best player besides Carson Palmer. Which means T.J. Houshmandzadeh should be allowed to slap him.

30. Kansas City Chiefs [29] — Nineteen losses in the last 20 games. They have the AFC's worst point differential (-131) and record (1-10). There are obviously a lot of things wrong here, but my favorite statistic from Sunday's game was that Kansas City had four turnovers. In the second quarter.

31. St. Louis Rams [31] — Four straight losses by 19 points or more. Say what you will about 0-11 Detroit, at least they've been competitive in the last couple of games. The Rams have been outscored 143-35 in the last month. Even that horrific number is misleading, because opponents have been easing up in the second half. At halftime of their last four games, the Rams have trailed by a combined score of 123-13. At halftime, they're losing by an average score of 31-4. Yeah, they give up 31 points before halftime.

32. Detroit Lions [32] — Every week, they give fans false hope. Detroit jumped out to another early lead on Sunday, going up 17-0 — and you were thinking, wow, this is it — before getting outscored 38-3 after the first quarter. Calvin Johnson, who has 6 TDs in the last seven games, is a bright spot.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 11:11 AM | Comments (5)

Making Golf Equipment Work For You

Over the past few months, you have probably read in golf publications about the results of an ongoing lawsuit between Callaway Golf and Acushnet, the parent company of Titleist. As it turns out, Callaway owned patents that Acushnet infringed upon for years when manufacturing the Pro V1 golf ball, which is the highest selling in the game. The Pro V1 alone accounts for 22 percent of all golf ball sales.

As a result of the judgment, Callaway is entitled to a settlement payment that was recently valued at approximately $150 million. Additionally, a federal judge granted an injunction against the sale of the Pro V1 golf balls that were manufactured by Titleist using methods that infringed upon Callaway-owned patents. Since September, Titleist has revised its manufacturing so that Pro V1 creation, distribution, and sale would not be interrupted.

Really, the impact on the average golfer may very well be nothing when it comes to getting their hands on precious Pro V1s. The golf ball that revolutionized the game and took over the market will still be available. But Callaway is trying to take these headlines and use them as a way of promoting their own line of golf balls. Just this past week, Callaway unveiled a new advertising campaign that — in a gist — says that they were the ones behind the Pro V1.

That statement, though, is only a half-truth. Yes, Callaway owns the patents that allowed them to sue Acushnet for this injunction and forthcoming settlement. Despite that, Callaway did not originally file the patents that are going to yield such a nice bounty for the company. Top Flite was.

Yes, Top Flite — makers of the Rock Flite and other low-end classics that are probably equally as good for most amateurs as the Pro V1 — filed and owned the patents until Callaway purchased the company after it filed for bankruptcy in 2003. In fact, the Top Flite and other Spalding-owned intellectual property were a critical part of the 2003 Callaway purchase.

The ad campaign that Callaway just invested probably seven figures in turns out to hinge on truthiness. Still, Callaway would much rather use this advertising opportunity to boost sales rather than inventing and presenting better products to the golf consumer.

These days, a lot of the money that the golf companies make is earned in the courts. Lawsuits like this one happen time and time again. David Dawsey covers many of these intriguing legal debates at his Golf Patents website. The fact that there is a website devoted to golf technology patent filings and lawsuits indicates just how significant intellectual property is to the golf industry. In many ways, patents are viewed as almost more important than the physical stock itself.

Where does that leave you and I, the golfing public? Are we the real focus of the club manufacturers, or are patent lawyers? I'm not so certain that we are — at least to many of the major manufacturers. This lawsuit is a higher profile version of what happens on a daily basis in the golf industry. There are hundreds, maybe thousands, of filed patents that manufacturers and others own just waiting for someone to infringe upon them. Some of the patents make it all the way to our pro shop shelves. Many more will never see the light of day — either because they are really far out there, or because they are bought in a trading market of lawsuits, settlements, and acquisitions.

Read some of the patent filings. Then go over to your golf bag and look at your set of irons. Are the irons that you have today really all that different than the irons you used to have?

How about your driver? It probably looks more like a square, but it caps out at 460cc and dimensions of five inches square.

Okay, your hybrid is definitely an innovation. The putter in your bag may well be, too.

Still, it doesn't seem like the golf consumer is getting everything that they can from the manufacturers. In fact, there is an unsubstantiated, long-standing rumor that the major manufacturers have products and innovations lined up for years. They're just waiting for you and I to become disinterested in what they're selling to us now.

After all, it probably takes anywhere between five and 10 years for regular golfers to cycle through a single innovation. People are still easing their way into Pro V1-styled golf balls. Since there are knockoffs and competitors for the same technology, we are obviously not at the end of this golf ball cycle yet. We're all buying them.

I suppose, then, that I'm about to propose something crazy. What I'm proposing is that the best way for you to get better golf equipment is to stop buying golf equipment. Remember that rumor that if everyone boycotted buying gas for a single day that the oil companies would almost certainly drop the price of oil by at least half? This proposal isn't on that end of the spectrum, but it is close.

Think about it. By and large, you and I are buying golf equipment that is mature and has been patented for years in advance of when we could even first acquire it. Acushnet acquired the patents for the Pro V1 in 1999 — two years before they came out. They've been reaping the benefits for almost 10 years now. Callaway is about to reap the benefits from a patent that another company filed and they never had the capital to employ.

So, if we're not getting all of the good things that could be up the sleeves of the manufacturers, then we are not likely to get them until we demand better. Sure, the Pro V1 and its conceptual cousins are the best golf balls that are made today. I cannot help but think, though, that there is better waiting in the wings. Provided, too, that the USGA has effectively capped so much of the creativity available for woods and irons, the golf ball seems the most plausible piece of equipment that could actually improve your game.

The concept may very well pay off. Doing something this ridiculous might get better products to market sooner. Even if the well is dry on the patent front — which I highly doubt — then perhaps the manufacturers will scurry for the next great innovation.

More still, in these difficult economic times, not spending $45 per dozen would help line all of our pockets. Callaway and Acushnet are fighting for a significant portion of the near $1 billion that you and I have spent on the Pro V1 alone. Why not let them play over old money and wait until something new comes out that? Then we can let them fight all over again.

It's a brutal cycle in the golf equipment world. But if the big wheel will keep on spinning anyway, why can't we make it go a little bit faster?

Posted by Ryan Ballengee at 11:06 AM | Comments (0)

November 24, 2008

In the Rotation: NBA Week 4

There are a lot of talents a person can have in life. Some of which can benefit you greatly in day-to-day affairs. Others are completely useless when it comes to getting ahead in life.

One of my "talents" in life is being able to pick an obscure quote from a random movie and apply it to real life situations. Trust me; it falls into the "completely useless" category when it comes to my day-to-day affairs.

Nonetheless, the one random movie quote that I couldn't shake after the New York Knicks made their big roster shakeup on Friday (in case you missed it, here is a summary of the moves the Knicks made) comes from one of the greatest characters in one of the greatest movies of all time, Walter Sobchak in "The Big Lebowski":

"This guy 'freaking' walks. I've never been more certain of anything in my life."

Allow me to explain.

The Knicks trade this week was basically a salary dump in order to clear up cap space for the summer of 2010, and Mike D'Antoni said as much. The Knicks became the second team in the last two weeks to clear up a ton of salary cap space (the Pistons being the first when Allen Iverson comes off the books after this season) in the hopes of landing a superstar roughly 560 days from now.

With their trades, the Knicks became one of 15 NBA teams that has less that $40 million committed to players through the 2010 season. $40 million is somewhat of a benchmark number because it means that these teams will have enough room under the salary cap to be able to give a player a max contract.

So what does any of this have to do with "The Big Lebowski?"

Well, all of these 15 teams with money to spend that offseason seem to be operating under the impression that "these guys will 'freaking' walk (actually hit the open market)" and are clearing up cap space accordingly.

Unfortunately, most of these GMs must have stopped the movie at that point, because the Big Lebowski is, in fact, crippled, and cannot walk. Walter Sobchak was dead wrong.

And so are all of these NBA teams that think that the summer of 2010 is going to be filled with an endless supply of superstars begging to come play for their team.

Yes, in theory, the 2010 free agent class could very well be the deepest in the history of the NBA. But it's not like we haven't heard this before. Lest we forget the 2006 free agent class that was supposed to be chalk full of superstars.

Instead of it being a free-for-all on the open market, all of the top players ended up being re-signed by their original team, with only three superstars even testing the waters — Kobe Bryant, Dirk Nowitzki, and Chauncey Billups — and they all re-signed with their original team.

Hey, it's always a good idea to have a plan in place. However, recent history tells us that there will be a good 13 teams or so that wish they had never even planned so far ahead because they are going to end up with a boat load of money in their pockets and no talent on the floor to show for it.

I've never been more certain of anything in my life.

In today's starting five, I'll take a look at the top of the potential 2010 free agent class and see who, if anyone, is likely to change addresses for the 2010-11 NBA season.

Starting Five

1. LeBron James

Chances he plays somewhere other than Cleveland: 50%.

I don't think LeBron even knows what the future holds for him, so I'm not going to begin to guess what's going to happen here. But I will say this; Cleveland has made efforts to get better and build around James in each of the King's six first seasons, and once again have the pieces in place to compete in the East. They will surely play that loyalty card when they get first crack at James when his contract expires.

LeBron has taken a far less talented team than the one he has now to the NBA Finals, and it's a pretty safe bet that he'll return there in one of the two seasons he has left in Cleveland.

If the Cavs finish with two more close-but-no-cigar seasons, it's hard to imagine James bolting for the bright lights and rebuilding that is New York with so much unfinished business left in his own backyard.

2. Dwyane Wade

Chances he plays somewhere other than Miami: 35%

Wade has been to the highest of the highs with the Heat, leading them to their first and only NBA title in 2006. He's also been there for the lowest of the lows; last season's 15 wins was tied for the worst in franchise history, matched only by the 15 wins the Heat had in their inaugural season back in 1989.

Now, the Heat has begun the rebuilding process with Wade as the centerpiece. They hit the lottery, which was good enough to land them rookie standout Michael Beasley, and have some nice young talent to surround the two.

The Heat still have a long way to go to reach the pinnacle once again, but they're taking steps in the right direction. If Wade had the option to opt out after this season instead of next, I'd say the percentage would be much higher. But if the Heat continue to show as much improvement over the remainder of this season and into next as they have so far, it's hard to believe that Wade would leave this franchise just as things were getting turned back around.

A lot of what happens here depends on whether the Heat can continue to get better, but with Wade and Beasley at the core of things, it's a safe bet that they will.

3. Amare Stoudemire

Chances he plays somewhere other than Phoenix: 50%

Amare might be the only player on this list that I wouldn't be shocked if he changed teams. Though the Suns are playing great basketball to start this season, their window for championships is closing and closing fast.

They already wasted most of Steve Nash's prime with a gimmick system that was better suited for maximizing Steve Nash as opposed to maximizing team success, and now father time is creeping up on the Suns faster than Usain Bolt.

Nash looks both a step slow and a bit confused by the offense, Shaq has officially entered the "Old Shaq" part of his career (be careful not to confuse the context of "Old Shaq" here; I mean "old" as in Larry King "old," not "old" as in "I miss the old Shaq" old), and Grant Hill is on his farewell tour.

The Suns' hot start has proven that they are indeed going to be a threat out West, but it's hard to believe that there is much of a threat level to be worried about from this team two years from now. Rebuilding is on the horizon, and you can't blame STAT for wanting to seek greener pastures as opposed to waiting for the Suns to build around him.

4. Chris Bosh

Chances he plays somewhere other than Toronto: 5%

Chris Bosh isn't going anywhere. He's the face of this franchise. The fans love him, his teammates and coaches love him, and GM Bryan Colangelo is not an idiot. He's twice won the "Executive of the Year" award, and you don't win awards like that by letting your best players leave town.

The Raptors aren't quite contenders in the East just yet, but the paint is barely dry in Colangelo's office. He's already revamped this roster almost completely and has Toronto as a threat to win night in and night out. Given another season and a half I fully expect the Raptors to become legit contenders in the East, and that should be good enough to keep CB4 where he belongs.

5. Joe Johnson

Chances he plays somewhere other than Atlanta: 50%

Chances that Atlanta botches this situation somehow and screws over the franchise: 95%.

If you haven't seen Johnson play yet this year, you are doing yourself a disservice. He has evolved into easily one of the 10 best players in the NBA. The Hawks have a young core with a ton of talent and even more potential. They, over any team in the league, have the potential be make the biggest leap of any team this season.

Alas, they're still the Hawks, and there is no doubt that they'll find a way to screw this up. I'm not even sure how they'll do it yet, but this is the same team that passed on Chris Paul and Deron Williams for Marvin Williams and Brandon Roy and Rudy Gay for Sheldon Williams, so clearly they have a history of poor decision making.

The Hawks should break the bank and do everything in their power to keep Johnson around for as long as possible. What they will do, however, is anybody's guess.

In the Rotation

Yao Ming, Tracy McGrady, Paul Pierce, Dirk Nowitzki, Steve Nash, Manu Ginobili, Ray Allen, Michael Redd, Shaq

These guys are the ones who make the free agent class of 2010 interesting. Each of these players has at least two things in common: they'll be unrestricted free agents in 2010, and they'll all be one time superstars past their prime.

Every player on this list will be in their 30s, have a ton of mileage on them, and/or will have some sort of nagging injury that has bothered them in recent years.

That could lead to $15 million question that offseason: how much is an aging superstar worth?

Surely, the guys in the starting five will all be maxed out, but what about these players? How much is a 36-year-old Steve Nash worth to a desperate team? Will someone grossly overpay for a 30-year-old Yao?

My guess is that all of the teams that have put aside tons of money for the top tier of this list are going to end up with pretty disappointed fan bases when LeBron and Wade suddenly aren't available. That will most likely lead to throwing a ton of money at an aging star just to save face.

That in turn will lead to a series of horrendous contracts for over-the-hill players that could in turn cripple these teams worse than if they hadn't given up on the '09 and '10 seasons in the first place.

Horrendous contracts lead to nonsensical trades (see Camby, Marcus), which means that by 2012 there will be several teams dumping washed up players with huge contracts in order to start the rebuilding process all over again.

That's right, teams that are stashing money away for the rainy day that is the summer of 2010 could very easily find themselves in the exact situation that they are in right now five years from now, when the star-studded draft class of 2008 hits the open market for the first time in approximately 2013, with no title to show for it.

The NBA, where front office inaptitude, happens.

Out of the Rotation

Los Angeles Clippers

Maybe someone out there can explain to me what direction the Clippers are going. They brought in Baron Davis this offseason, then surrounded him with big and slow players (Marcus Camby and Zach Randolph), basically minimizing what Davis does best: make plays in the open floor.

The Clippers got off to a 2-11 start then decided that it'd be a good idea to take on a head case with a crippling contract to right the ship. And we thought Elgin Baylor was terrible at his job.

There's a reason that this team has advanced to the second round of the playoffs once in the 24 years that they've been in L.A., and we're seeing it play out in front of us again as they are about five months away from making that once in 25 years.

Inactive List

Mark Cuban

Love him or hate him, Mark Cuban has been good for the league since he bought the Mavericks back in 2000. His antics have been both cringeworthy and amusing at the same time, but everything he's done has been out of his unquestionable love for his franchise, and you can't fault the guy for that.

However, Cuban's latest trip to the front page has certainly been cringe-worthy, but far from amusing. Last week, the SEC filed a civil suit against Cuban alleging insider trading in the shares of Mamma.com.

It is just a civil suit for now, which would hardly dent the $2.6 billion that Cuban has accumulated, but Martha Stewart's case started as a civil suit too.

Cuban has been writing checks with his mouth ever since he came into the league, but if these recent allegations result in any sort of jail time, David Stern will no doubt use that as leverage to rid himself of the biggest thorn in his omnipotent paw.

It'd be a shame if the NBA lost Cuban for good over something like this, but as we could soon find out, all the money in the world can't save you when the SEC comes knocking.

Be sure to check back at Sports Central every Monday to see who cracks Scott Shepherd's rotation as he breaks down what is going on around the NBA.

Posted by Scott Shepherd at 11:27 AM | Comments (1)

Florida, College Football's Best?

Are the Florida Gators the best team in college football? Believe it, as the "Gator Bulldozer" leveled the Bulldogs on Saturday. An impressive win over the Citadel, huh? Let's go back a few weeks to see why the Florida Gators are the best team in college football.

Did I really just type that? Sorry, 'Bama, Texas, and OU fans, but it's true. Over the last six weeks, the Gators have been totally dominant on both sides of the football. The offense has been annihilating the opposition and scoring like a high school kid on prom night. The defense has been tougher than Chuck Liddell. Can anyone disagree with that? Let's take a look:

10/11	No. 4 LSU 5-1 (3-1)			W 51-21
10/25	Kentucky 6-1 (4-1)			W 63-5
11/01	@ No. 6 Georgia 7-1 (5-1)		W 49-10
11/08	@ Vanderbilt 8-1 (6-1)			W 42-14
11/15	No. 25 S. Carolina 9-1 (7-1)		W 56-6
11/22	Citadel 10-1 (7-1)			W 70-19

It started with the shellacking they laid on the LSU Tigers in which they dominated from the opening kickoff and exposed the weakness of the much overrated Tiger defense. Then came the destruction of early season surprise Kentucky, which they turned it into a laugher and got tuned up for the most impressive win of the season, at Georgia. They took the Bulldogs to the woodshed in Jacksonville. Then Vandy was brought back to earth and they laid the biggest whooping the Ole Ball Coach has ever seen. Then they had time to heal up by feasting on the Citadel, the only non-conference game during this streak.

The "second season" started for Florida on September 28th, the day after losing 31-31 to Ole Miss at the Swamp. That seemed to light a fire in the Gators as they have gone on to win seven straight, averaging 53 points a game. Just as impressive has been the Gator defense, who has given up only 12 points a game, the most being LSU's 21 (on the road) during this time. So what, you may say? Well, when you consider three of those games were on the road and included two top-10 teams in the streak, you have to describe their play as dominant. Don't get me wrong, Oklahoma looked great Saturday against Texas Tech, but I'll put my money on the Gators. (Do you know how hard that is for an LSU fan to say?)

As much as I cannot stand Urban Meyer, he has righted the ship in Gainesville and has them playing outstanding football. Tim Tebow is an arrogant, cocky jerk who is one hell of an athlete and if not for the great year the Big 12 trio (Sam Bradford, Graham Harrell, and Colt McCoy) are having, would be your leading Heisman candidate. Florida is a legit threat in the BCS picture, but will probably not get a shot at the national title.

Look at this with an open mind: if Florida beats FSU and the beats 'Bama in the SEC title game, how can they honestly be overlooked for a title shot? I know the Big 12 has three capable teams in Texas Tech, Texas, and Oklahoma, but come on, do you really think any of those teams are better than Florida, on both sides of the football?

The BCS was setup to let the two best teams in college football play for the national title, right? Well, it hasn't been right very often, but if Florida wins out, the BCS could get at least one team right, the team that will win their second national title in three years. But the BCS and "correct?" That hasn't been spoken in the same sentence since...

Posted by Chad Wilson at 11:05 AM | Comments (6)

Blooperstown is Calling: Herb vs. Jerry

Having a Vin Scully among us, having had our Red Barbers and our Bob Murphys, our Russ Hodges and our Lindsey Nelsons, our Ken Colemans and our Ernie Harwells, has been something incandescent. But what would baseball from the microphones be without having had our Dizzy Deans and our Joe Nuxhalls, our Herb Scores and Jerry Colemans?

Fair enough. San Diego Padres fans have enough to fume about these days: another fire sale, the disgraceful treatment of Trevor Hoffman. They may not particularly care to discover their beloved broadcaster may have had an equal at least, a superior at most, for malapropriety on the air. At least, Jerry Coleman may have had one until Herb Score retired after the 1997 World Series.

And, since over a decade of physical (a near-fatal road accident, a stroke, a staph infection, pneumonia, and a final residence in hospital) and spiritual (his youngest daughter, a Down's syndrome child, died of heart failure in 1994) ended in Score's death on Veterans Day, Cleveland Indians fans been remembering at least as much of a Score of malaprops as they've been remembering the understated class act who demurred from agreeing with them that he was ill-fated.

How beloved was Score behind the microphone and out and about among Indian Nation? When the Tribe finally put a finish to four decades' disaster with a romp through the American League Central, en route a triumph for the pennant in the American League Championship Series, Indian fans weren't the only ones thinking this one was for Herb. Ernie Harwell told his faithful Detroit Tigers fans, "Herb deserves this."

Score, typically, demurred. "I don't deserve this," he said gently. "The city deserves this."

That from a man who was once thought capable of sounding cheerful doing the play-by-play aboard a Kamikaze flight. Bob Dolgan of the Cleveland Plain-Dealer dreamed that one up. "He is the kind of guy you almost can't knock," Dolgan continued. "An awful lot of listeners are going to be awfully angry with you if you do. I have a hunch I know why. In this nasty old world, filled with thugs, malcontents, and narcissists, gentlemen are finally beginning to be appreciated. And Score has always been a gentleman."

Former Indians third baseman Buddy Bell has seen and raised. "[Score is] such a nice guy that I'll bet he makes the bed in his hotel when he waked up in the morning." Author Curt Smith, whose Voices of the Game remains the definitive historiography of baseball announcing, cites an unidentified friend: "So what if he's never been a Hall of Fame announcer? Look at it this way. Wouldn't the city of Cleveland have turned somersaults over the last twenty years just to have ball clubs as decent as their announcer?"

Coleman has inspired comparable affection over the years. He's also inspired as much of a trainload of laughs for his linguistic mangles as Score did, and they had the sometimes unfortunate effect of obscuring how intelligent and knowledgeable each man really was. Care to square them off against each other?

By the time you're finished, you'll be tempted to launch a campaign to put Score into the Hall of Fame's broadcast wing right next to Coleman. Whether that will be before or after you need to reach for the oxygen tank is a matter of individual condition.

The following malaprops are brought to you in living color.

JERRY COLEMAN: They throw [Dave] Winfield out at second, but he's safe!
HERB SCORE: There's a long drive down the left field line — is it fair? Is it foul? It is!

Coleman once identified himself as Jerry Gross. Score — who once identified Eddie Murray as Eddie Murphy — once signed off saying, "This is Steve Lamarr, signing off for Herb Score."

Coleman may or may not have stolen this one from Score: Swing and a miss and a foul back to the screen. But Score never gave the big ballpark credit for doing it all. (Most of Score's broadcasting career occurred in Cleveland's old, cavernous Municipal Stadium.) On the other hand, Coleman never seemed to have a problem identifying his working station on a given day: This is Herb Score coming to you from Milwaukee's County Stadium — oh, Chicago's Comiskey Park. Wait a minute, I'll get this right — Kansas City's Royals Stadium.

The trouble was that Score had it right the first time. He got even better after he took the mike from radio partner Nev Chandler to call the Indians' second. The six-pitch inning ended thus: And after one and a half, the score is Kansas City two, the Indians nothing. Coleman wasn't immune to that sort of geographical vapour, himself: the Padres need one to tie and two to win, so going into the ninth the score is San Francisco one, the Yankees nothing.

Still, Score never quite nailed down a future Hall of Famer's credentials with Coleman's flair: Ozzie Smith just made another play that I've never seen anyone else make before, and I've seen him make it more often than anyone else ever has. And when it came to big men doing the little things, Coleman had Score slightly overmatched: that big guy, Winfield, at 6'6", can do things only a small man can do.

But did Coleman ever set his Padres up against themselves? He makes the catch for the final out. And after three, the score, Cleveland 4 and the Indians 2. And that must have been some wind blowing in from the outfield when Score described a long high fly ball under which the ... second baseman circled for the catch. Unless said second baseman managed to run it down all the way to the track.

And I'm not sure Coleman ever misplaced a future Hall of Famer in his final game in front of his home fans, either: a standing ovation here from the fans in Baltimore for their hero. Yaz played 23 years for the Orioles.

Oakland Athletics fans probably weren't the only ones who sometimes got reserve catchers Mickey Tettleton and Terry Steinbach confused. Score referred to Tettleton during one at-bat as Mickey Tettlebach. Terry Steinton was unavailable for comment. Efrain Valdez, a short-lived pitcher who may have deserved better (lifetime ERA, 26 games over 1990-91 with the Indians and 1998 with the Arizona Diamondbacks), was born too late to have starred in 77 Sunset Strip, but that didn't stop Score from calling him Efrem Zimbalist, Jr.

But Score never saw Johnnie LeMaster spear a hard shot and throw Bill Madlock into the dugout; he never saw Jesus Alou in the on-deck circus; he never saw George Hendrick lose a sun-blown popup; and, he never saw Dave Winfield lose his head: There's a fly ball deep to center field — Winfield is going back, back, back — he hits his head against the wall. And it's rolling toward second base!

There are only two conclusions to reach:

1) A shame it would have to be posthumously, now, but there ought to be room for Herb Score in the Hall of Fame's broadcast wing, right next to Jerry Coleman, perhaps the two of them depicted in statuary set in easy chairs surrounding a table lamp.

2) Both Herb Score and Jerry Coleman ought to have been grateful that nobody thought to move Yogi Berra into the broadcast booth.

In Case You Were Curious...

Jerry Coleman and Herb Score may come out dead-even as broadcast malaproppers, but as Major League Baseball players Coleman lasted long enough as a player to have nine at-bats in three games against Score, all during Coleman's final playing season and Score's sophomore season, 1956. Coleman comes out ahead, though not really by much.

JUNE 16, 1956 — Coleman squared off against Score in Municipal Stadium with no score and the Yankees having first and third and one out. He skied one to center field for the second out. He came up again in the fourth with the Yankees up, 2-1, nobody out, and Andy Carey on first, when he drove one to the back of center field, virtually guaranteeing Carey coming home in that unfathomably deep Cleveland park. The score stayed what Coleman had made it when he came up again in the sixth with two out and lined one to center for the side.

JULY 14, 1956 — This time, Coleman and Score met in Yankee Stadium, whose deadly-deep center and left-center worked a lot more in a left-handed pitcher's favor. This time, Coleman led off the Yankee third, after the Indians had jumped Tommy Byrne for a 3-0 lead, and lined one out to center. With two out in the Yankee fifth he bounced a ground-rule double over the right field fence, and in the seventh with first and third and nobody out he singled home Hank Bauer, before Byrne himself drove in Andy Carey to tie the game. (Reliever Don Mossi would lose it for the Indians when he gave up a two-out walk-off single to Billy Martin.)

AUGUST 2, 1956 — Back in Cleveland, Coleman got three final cracks at Score, who had made his second all-star team in his first two seasons and was on his way to a 20-win term. With no score Coleman opened the top of the third with a line out to left. With one out in the top of the fifth and the Yankees down 4-0, Score dropped strike three in on Coleman, repeating it in the top of the seventh with two out and a man on second.

Jerry Coleman's final jacket against Herb Score: 3-for-9, 2 RBI, 2 strikeouts (both looking); a .333 batting average and on-base percentage, with a .556 slugging percentage.

Score wasn't the only Indians pitcher Coleman abused when given the right opportunities: he hit, slugged, and reached base for .462 against eventual Hall of Famer Bob Lemon; and, he went .400/.500/.400 against the none-too-shabby Jerry Garcia. (He who malaprops last malaprops best, I always say... )

Posted by Jeff Kallman at 11:00 AM | Comments (0)

November 20, 2008

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 12

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Cincinnati @ Pittsburgh (-10½)

The Bengals head to Pittsburgh with the hopes of adding an upset of the division-leading Steelers to their "record" collection, which heretofore includes only a win over the Jaguars and a tie with the Eagles. Cincy's 13-13 stalemate with the Eagles was the NFL's first tie since 2002.

"Wow! That's amazing," says Marvin Lewis. "I didn't realize it had been that long since the NFL's last tie. If I could get Chad Johnson to wait six years between kisses, then he might actually be tolerable."

"Anyway, I've heard of an 'ugly' win before, but not an 'ugly' tie. Here in Cincinnati, an 'ugly tie' is often used in reference to what a fashion-starved Chris Henry wears when appearing before the magistrate. Or what happens when Pete Rose doesn't get an outcome on a huge bet. But as far as the tie goes, we'll take it. It was truly a pathetic game, one that reminded me of Whodini's classic rap '75 Minutes of Funk.' Never did I think I'd see a clock operator booed. But really, the most startling aspect of the whole affair is that Donovan McNabb is still on the field."

The Steelers made history of their own, as their 11-10 win over the Chargers was the first NFL game in history to end with such a final score. Despite racking up 410 yards of total offense, the Steelers managed only three field goals on offense.

"What's the real story here?" says Mike Tomlin. "Our red zone futility, or the mistake by the officials that snatched a touchdown from the hands of Troy Polamalu? We're used to our offense robbing our defense of glory, but not the officials. Apparently, 'Ed Hochuli' is not only a referee, but a disease, and it's catching."

A date with the Bengals should cure the Steelers of their red zone issues, and Cincy will be left wishing the game ended in a tie. Pittsburgh wins, 27-13.

Carolina @ Atlanta (-1)

Not only are "bailouts" big talk nationwide, but the word seems to be a subject of interest in Charlotte, where Jake Delhomme has been "bailed out" of the Panthers' last two games. Two weeks ago, the Panthers defense stepped up to overcome four Delhomme interceptions to beat Oakland. Last week, big games by running backs DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart disguised another subpar performance by Delhomme as the Panthers beat the winless Lions, 31-22.

"Here's some words of advice," says John Fox. "If you need change for a C-note, don't ask Jake for help, because he can't 'break a hundred.' Yards per game, that is. Everyone knows I sat down Steve Smith for two games for punching Ken Lucas. Jake needs to step it up, or he'll find out that I also sit players down for 'less offensive' infractions."

Atlanta lost their first home game last week, dropping a 24-20 decision to the Broncos. Rookie quarterback Matt Ryan had somewhat of an off-game, with no touchdowns and 1 interception.

"Matt's shown the ability to learn from his mistakes," says Mike Smith. "He'll bounce back. I have no doubt that he's still the 'real deal,' even more of a 'real deal' than 46-year-old Atlanta native Evander 'Real Deal' Holyfield, who's got a heavyweight title fight lined up. Jeez, I didn't know Sonny Liston still had a belt."

"Anyway, it seems that other famous Atlanta athletes are trying to steal our thunder. Michael Vick has said he wants to rejoin the NFL after he serves his prison sentence. I think that's great, but we'll have to see what Roger Goodell, and more importantly, what 'Rover' Goodell, says about all that."

Panthers win, 24-17.

Philadelphia @ Baltimore (-1)

A week after boxer and Philadelphia native Bernard Hopkins questioned his heart, Donovan McNabb tossed 3 interceptions and lost a fumble in Cincinnati, and the Eagles left with a 13-13 overtime tie, instead of a much-needed win.

"You mean to tell me," says McNabb, "that NFL games don't go to a shootout after a scoreless overtime period? Well, color me ignorant."

"As for Hopkins, I can't let the words of a washed-up pugilist affect me. I don't like boxers telling me how to play football. How would Hopkins feel if skilled palookas like Ed "Too Tall" Jones or Mark Gastineau criticized his fortitude? Besides, boxers like Hopkins have it made. They keep a spit bucket with them at all times. I'd never puke on the field with that kind of equipment."

Here's something else you should know, Donovan. The Phillie Phanatic did not get his start on Sesame Street as a sidekick to Big Bird.

Despite his rookie status, Baltimore's Joe Flacco is fully aware that NFL regular-season games can end in a tie.

"I learned that as a rookie," says Flacco. "That is, the 'rookie' day of my life. McNabb's first mistake was not knowing the rules. His second mistake was admitting to it. Luckily, his ignorance of tie game procedures will now overshadow his penchant for puking on the field. He's a legend for all the wrong reasons."

"His knowledge of the game is poor," quoth the Raven. "His knowledge is poor."

Baltimore wins, 23-20.

Houston @ Cleveland (-4)

The Browns held on for a 29-27 win on Monday night in Buffalo, improving their record to 4-6, which technically kept their slim playoff hopes alive, while realistically moving their official elimination from the playoffs a bit closer to Christmas. Brady Quinn has played solidly since taking over the quarterback job from Derek Anderson three weeks ago.

"I think we've proven that this isn't a team of quitters," says Quinn, who has seen membership in his fan club, Quinnsryche, explode since his promotion to starter. "Despite Jamal Lewis' insistence that 'Cleveland Quits!,' I still believe that 'Cleveland Rocks!' Playing the theme of The Drew Carey Show on a 24-hour continuous loop has been known to cause delusional behavior."

The Texans fell to 3-7 after last week's 33-27 shootout loss to the Colts in Indianapolis, the Texans' fifth road loss and fourth division loss.

"We're obviously playing only for pride now," says Gary Kubiak, "but not in lieu of our massive salaries. Regardless of the stakes, there is no quit in these Texans. It takes a lot to make a Texan say 'I quit.' For example, a presidential term limit, or a Ric Flair figure-four leg lock."

Houston wins, 30-27.

San Francisco @ Dallas (-11)

After a big win in Washington, the Cowboys are seemingly back on track, and luckily, it didn't take Wade Phillips dropping his pants to get them there. All it took was the return of Dallas royalty Tony Romo, the Cowboys' "Five-Finger Viscount," who missed the previous four games with a broken pinkie.

"I'm tickled 'pinkie,'" says Cowboys owner Jerry Jones. "I promised we'd make the playoffs, and after our lackluster 14-10 win over the 'Skins, I'm going out on a limb and sticking to my original statement. Who knows? If we beat the 49ers, I might promise a Super Bowl trip."

The 49ers won their first game under head coach Mike Singletary, dropping the Rams 35-16. Quarterback Shaun Hill looks to be the 49ers' quarterback on the future, and has shown the smarts and toughness necessary at the position after being named starter over J.T. O'Sullivan three weeks ago.

"I really hated to bench O'Sullivan," says Singletary. "He's a hard worker and a decent quarterback, but the urge to have the chance to call him the 'Irish Sitter' outweighed those aspects."

"I feel like I've really instilled my work ethic into these players. I've made the 'panty-waists' among them see things my way, and I don't feel it's necessary to go to extremes such as dropping my pants to accomplish that goal."

"Hey, everybody knows that a real 49er can't pull anything substantial out of his pants," says Terrell Owens. "Even I was smart enough to whip the Sharpie pen out of my sock, and not my pants. That may have been the greatest touchdown celebration is history, and it opened the door to the era of overdone TD celebrations. None have been able to match the Sharpie celebration. All those wanna-be's have been left with a case of 'Sharpie-nis Envy.'"

Marion Barber rushes for a score, and catches a short TD pass from Romo. Dallas wins, 27-23.

Tampa Bay @ Detroit (+9)

The Lions are still winless, but are playing hard at the urging of Rod Marinelli and are benefitting from the gutsy leadership of Daunte Culpepper. Culpepper led the Lions into Carolina last week and kept them in the game well into the fourth quarter.

"We'd much rather break this losing streak sooner than later," says Marinelli. "We've seen that '0' in the win column for much too long. These guys are desperate to be on ESPN for something other than a loss, and I'm dying to get a win before I appear on MTV to be informed by Ashton Kutcher that I've just been Skunk'd."

No worries, Marinelli. There is no 'Skunk Rule' in the NFL. But if there were, I'm sure Donovan McNabb would be unaware of it.

The Bucs remained hot on the tail of the Panthers for the lead in the NFC South. Last week, Tampa rode the scrambling ability of Jeff Garcia and two huge takeaways by the defense in a 19-13 win over the Vikings.

"Garcia's a lot like Warren Sapp on Dancing With the Stars," says Jon Gruden. "No, not surprisingly effeminate, but light on his feet. Who would have thought that Sapp's post-football regimen would be anything other than hours on the couch with a spit cup? Not only is he a talented dancer, but he's also an insightful and entertainingly candid analyst on the NFL Network. Plus, he's done something that I've wanted to do for years — publicly call Keyshawn Johnson a 'bitch.'"

Tampa wins, 27-16.

Minnesota @ Jacksonville (-1½)

After a 24-14 loss to Tennessee that dropped them to 4-6, Jacksonville's Jack Del Rio knows any realistic shot at a playoff spot will likely require the Jags to win out and finish at 10-6, then pray for help from about eight teams, as well as whichever divine entity they feel is best equipped to produce a miracle. To win Sunday, first and foremost on Del Rio's agenda is stopping the Viking running game and Adrian Peterson, the NFL's leading rusher.

"I'll handle Adrian Peterson like I handled Mike Peterson," says Del Rio. "By baiting him into back-talking me, suspending him, and then demoting him to second string. Then I might take away his dominos. What's that? No one outside of the Vikings organization is allowed to dole out discipline to a Viking? Ha! Tell that to Roger Goodell."

In Minnesota, three-quarters of the Vikings' defensive line have meetings with commissioner Roger Goodell that could possibly result in their suspensions. Defensive tackles Kevin and Pat Williams are set to discuss their use of diuretic "water pills," while defensive end Jared Allen is in line to discuss his hit on Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers.

"We're all a little worried about the outcome of those meetings," says Brad Childress. "Obviously, this is new territory for the Vikings. Usually, when this many players are facing discipline, it's because of something they did on a boat and not on the field. Hopefully, Pat and Kevin will have something better than a 'piss-poor' excuse to give Goodell as to why signs of water pills showed up in their urine. I'm worried about Jared's meeting even more. He's a loose cannon, so there's no telling what he'll say. Hopefully, he'll take off his headband before the meeting, and won't mention anything about NFL rules not being consistent with those of 'smear the queer.'"

Has Del Rio totally lost control of his team? He's not the Jack of "Hearts" that so many of his players have grown to love. It looks like he's turning into a version of former Jacksonville coach Tom Coughlin. Here's some advice, Jack. Chill out. You may think banning certain privileges in the locker room will make a difference. You can take away their Foo Fighters, but it's only going to result in more "F.U." fighting.

Peterson rushes for 123 yards and a touchdown, and the Vikings win, 21-17.

Buffalo @ Kansas City (+3)

When Rian Lindell's 47-yard field goal attempt with 33 second remaining sailed wide right last Monday, you could hear the city of Buffalo collectively moaning, with memories of Scott Norwood's missed Super Bowl kick creeping back into the minds. It was the Bills' fourth consecutive loss, and they're now dead last in the AFC East.

"The kicking game is the least of our worries," says Dick Jauron. "At least Lindell kicks the ball in a timely manner, which is more than I can say about Trent Edwards' performance. If your offensive line gives you an eternity to throw, you should be able to do more than dump it off to a running back. Trent needs to be more like O.J. Simpson and his cronies storming a casino memorabilia show — quick on the draw. If Trent can't defeat this case of 'Trigger Mortis,' then I'll have no recourse but to bench him."

In Kansas City, the defense is terrible, but the offense is showing signs of life lately with the improved play of Tyler Thigpen.

"Thigpen's solidified his status as this team's future quarterback," says Herman Edwards. "It will be exciting to see him develop into a good NFL quarterback. I just hope I'm around to see it."

Hey, no one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills, but what kind of idiotic team circles their wagons right smack dab in Indian country? Thigpen will see a lot of blitzes from Jauron in what is unofficially known as the 'Dick Smothers' defense. But Thigpen has Dwayne Bowe and Tony Gonzalez, and unlike Edwards, Thigpen's not afraid to throw it downfield. Kansas City wins, 24-21.

New England @ Miami (-3)

New England is intent on proving that Miami's 38-13 win over the Pats in Week 2 was merely a fluke, and the Patriots won't again be fooled by the Dolphins' tricky "Wildcat" sets. In that game, Miami employed several direct snaps to Ronnie Brown, with four resulting in touchdowns.

"There's no way the Dolphins are 25 points better than we are," says Patriot running back BenJarvus Green-Ellis, who, whenever he goes out, the people always shout, 'Hey, there goes BenJarvus Green Ellis.' "I wasn't even around for that game. Come to think of it, none of us were. Obviously, we can't give up 38 points again. If we can't stop Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams, Miami's 'Tropic Thunder' rushing duo, then we're in trouble."

"'Tropic Thunder?'" says Williams. "I like that. Heck, I've smoked that."

Miami coach Tony Sparano knows the Patriots are a very different team that they one the Dolphins saw in week three. And, coming off a Thursday night loss to the Jets, New England and Bill Belichick have had a few extra days to prepare for the Dolphins.

"Hey, there's no doubt that Belichick will be watching his share of video," says Sparano. "Those damn, dirty tapes. Does Belichick think he's going to find some useful information on those films? No way. I've been surveilled by the feds for some time now, and haven't given up a thing. Honestly, we don't have anything to hide from the Patriots. We're going to run the ball, and make Randy Moss feel like his transcript from Marshall — useless."

It wouldn't be a Miami game without Joey Porter calling out someone from the opposing team. This time, Porter's called out the entire Patriots team, claiming the Pats have disrespected the Dolphins as a team. Is it just me, or does Porter's constant trash talk make it look like Triump the Insult Comic Dog could find a compliment for Lindsey Lohan?

Porter backs up the talk and sacks Matt Casell twice. Brown and Williams rush for a combined 168 yards. Miami wins, 29-17.

Chicago @ St. Louis (+6)

The tightest division race in the NFC is in the North, where the Packers, Bears, and Vikings are tied at 5-5. That really says something about the competitiveness of the division, but what does it say about the division when the 0-10 Lions are mathematically still alive to win the division? It's conceivable that the Lions could win the division with a 6-10 record.

"Yeah, and it's conceivable that Paul Bunyan could show up in St. Louis," says Lovie Smith, "and rip the Gateway Arch out of the ground and jump rope with it. The Rams have gone downhill since I gave up my defensive coordinator job to coach the Bears. They've lost seven games by 17 or more points. I guess you could call them the 'Battering' Rams. Which is fitting, because after getting our own tails whipped by 34 last week, we're ready to get medieval on their asses."

Of course, St. Louis will counter with catapult, locked and loaded with Jim Haslett and other coaches who are sure to be sent flying at some point before season's end. Chicago wins, 30-17.

NY Jets @ Tennessee (-5)

At 10-0, the Titans have taken everything their opponents have thrown at them and still emerged with a spotless record. Last week, Tennessee turned a 14-3 halftime deficit in Jacksonville into a 24-14 win, dominating both sides of the ball in the second half. On Sunday, the streaking Jets, leaders of the AFC East, and Brett Favre will try to take down the Titans.

"If you saw the Country Music Awards a few weeks ago," says Jeff Fisher, "you probably saw Kid Rock and Lil' Wayne performing in Titans' jerseys. I think that's a clear indication that the Titans' bandwagon is full, and from this point on, no one with 'Kid' or 'L'il' in their name is allowed to wear Titans gear. I haven't been so unimpressed by a performance in a Titans jersey since Vince Young took the field in Week 1."

Favre is doing exactly what the Jets intended when they signed him in the offseason: win ball games and render Jets' fans nervous whenever he cocks his arm to throw. After a heroic effort that helped the Jets beat the Patriots, Favre will take on the Titans' physical defensive unit, ranked first in the league in points against.

"Hey, don't forget all the souvenir sales," says Favre. "The 'Brett Favre Double-Reverse Tour' merchandise options are huge sellers in New York. Not so much in Green Bay, though."

"We're going to Nashville with the intent of not just giving the Titans a tough game, but beating them. They are certainly worthy competitors. The 'Dine and Dash' rushing combo of LenDale White and Chris Johnson is formidable, and Kerry Collins has proven that he'll stay in the pocket to make the big pass. Unlike Vince Young, Collins won't, and can't, run away from anyone. But let's be serious. Collins for MVP? There's no way."

I think you misunderstood, Brett. Collins isn't campaigning for MVP; but he would like someone to hand him an MGD.

In a battle of veteran quarterbacks, it will come down to who makes the fewest mistakes. The crystal ball says Favre will have two turnovers, and they're not apple. Collins plays mistake-free, and Rob Bironas kicks four field goals. Tennessee wins, 26-17.

Oakland @ Denver (-10)

With two straight road wins, the Broncos have opened up a two-game lead in the AFC West, thanks mainly to the golden arm of Jay Cutler. Cutler is third in the league in touchdown passes and passing yardage.

"I think we've got a firm grip on the division," says Mike Shanahan, Denver's high-strung head coach whose odd skin tone is known around town as the "Orange Flush." I'd go so far as to say our grip on the West is a firm as John Elway's hold on his two Super Bowl trophies. Then I take a gander at our defense and see that we've given up 23 more points than we've scored. That makes me think that our hold on the division is like Cutler's grip on the football that slipped out of his hand, but was incorrectly called an incomplete pass by Ed Hochuli — not very firm."

"I've given Cutler the green light to throw any pass he wants. Donovan McNabb may not know the rules, but there is a lot Cutler can learn from watching McNabb. Specifically, if you keep heaving and chucking, you'll eventually make the big play. McNabb might leave a big mess on the field in the process. For us, that mess is left on the field by our defense."

The Raiders haven't scored an offensive touchdown in 19 quarters, which also happens to be the number of quarters you can put in a vending machine to get a Raider quarterback. Former Giants head coach Jim Fassell expressed his interest in the Oakland head coaching job in a letter sent to Al Davis last week.

"It would have been there sooner," says Fassell, "but Al insists his mail be delivered via Pony Express. He's nostalgic that way. I realize Oakland is not the ideal coaching destination, but I really want a head coaching job. I realize I'd be stepping right into Davis' 'Cult of Dysfunctionality,' but I can handle it. I think Al's got a bum rap. Most of the rumors you hear about him aren't even true. No, he can't turn himself into a bat just like that. It takes about two hours. No, he didn't sign the Declaration of Independence. He did try, though. And, no, Bowzer from Sha Na Na is not Al's son."

Broncos win, 26-21.

NY Giants @ Arizona (+3½)

Styles will clash when the Giants and their power running game take on the Cardinals and their explosive passing attack. Last week, the Giants rumbled for 207 yards on the ground against the Ravens' No. 1-ranked run defense, while Kurt Warner threw for 395 yards as the Cards beat the Seahawks.

"We're certainly concerned about the Giants 'Earth, Wind, and Fire' running back combination," says Ken Whisenhunt. "But don't underestimate Warner and his receiving trio of Larry Fitzgerald, Anquan Boldin, and Steve Breaston. They're just as formidable. All they need is a clever nickname. How about '(Old as) Dirt and yhe Soil Brothers?' No? How about 'The Old Man and the 'Cs?' The 'C' for 'Cardinal,' of course. Or how about we just keep it simple and call the 'The White Quarterback and Three Fast Black Dudes.'"

Good one, Ken. There's no way that will be confused with any other team in the league.

New York's Brandon Jacobs has a minor knee injury that will cause him to miss Sunday's game. Jacobs is the 'Earth' of 'Earth, Wind, and Fire,' with apologies to Philip Bailey, and is the Giants' leading rusher.

"Do you remember," says Tom Coughlin, "the 19th day of November? That's when Brandon decided he wasn't going to play. Jacobs is certainly the shining star of the trio, and without him, we lack the most powerful runner of the trio. Now, when 'Earth, Wind, and Fire' is running on all cylinders, then they're an unstoppable force, on the field and on the dance floor. I fondly remember many a night back in the mid-1970s, under the disco ball on the dance floor, grooving to 'Boogie Wonderland.' I looked up and realized I was there alone. That's when I decided to become a football coach."

Arizona wins, 26-24.

Washington @ Seattle (+3½)

It's a homecoming for Jim Zorn, former Seahawks quarterback as well as former Seattle quarterbacks coach, as the Redskins make the long trip to Qwest Field. The Redskins have lost two in a row, and desperately need a win to reclaim the momentum they established with a 6-2 record halfway through the season.

"Someone once said 'Go west, young man,'" says Zorn. "I think it was a NFL schedule-maker. It won't be easy traveling to Seattle and trying to break a two-game losing streak. We were playing so well before the Steelers came to town. I guess coaches can hit the 'rookie wall' as well. The '12th Man' cheering section is a clever bunch, and will probably pickup on that. So, with it being Seattle, birthplace of Jimi Hendrix, I fully expect to see plenty of 'Are You Experienced?' signs. Well, guess what, I've been to Electric Ladyland, which means that, yes, I am experienced."

With two straight road losses, the 'Skins can't afford another loss, especially with the Giants coming to town the following week. Washington may be playing for its season. Redskins win, 20-13.

Indianapolis @ San Diego (-3)

The Colts, one of five 6-4 teams in the AFC, head to San Diego, where Peyton Manning fully intends to follow the advice of Charger fans and "take a hike," of course after defeating the Chargers and enjoying his morning cup of coffee. Manning and the Colts hope to avenge two defeats last year to San Diego, including a divisional playoff game in Indy.

"I'm going to put this team on my shoulders," says Manning. "Not because I want to, but because I have to. Our rush defense comes and goes like Bob Sanders availability. I didn't know 'Colts safety' was a part-time position."

"Anyway, I'd like to forget my last trip to San Diego, in which I threw 6 interceptions. In general, I don't have a problem with the West, although I do have a problem with Kanye West. He claims to be the voice of our generation? You fool, don't you know that I am the voice of this generation? I on TV way more than Kanye, and when I am, you don't see me whining about the government or advocating the plight of the poor. I'm doing more important things, like selling HD televisions, or protecting nerds who don't watch sports from an outraged Chicken. Now I ain't saying Kanye drinks Goldshlager, but Gilbert Arenas is a great blogger. Hey, I never claimed to be a rapper. Anyway, rap lyrics don't have to make sense; they just have to rhyme."

Have the Colts conceded the AFC South division crown to the Titans? You bet. But what rhymes with "concede?" "Fifth seed," as in the AFC playoffs No. 5 seed. That would likely be a matchup at the home field of the AFC West division winner. And that's either going to be Denver or San Diego. And the Colts have had much better success against Denver than San Diego. So it's in Indy's best interest to beat the Chargers, thus moving the Broncos closer to the division crown, and an early playoff exit.

Manning throws for 305 yards and 3 touchdowns, out-dueling Philip River's 285 and 2 scores. Indianapolis wins, 34-30.

Green Bay @ New Orleans (-3)

The Saints finally registered a win on the road, topping the Chiefs in Kansas City 30-20 to keep their marginal playoff hopes alive. New Orleans is 5-5, last in the NFC South, and will need a substantial winning streak to mount a playoff push.

"Look, I could stand here and do my best Jim Mora impression," says Sean Payton. "Which I must say is pretty good. 'Playoffs?! Playoffs?!' How's that? I can clown it up with the best of 'em, but the last thing I want is to see myself in a Coors Light commercial hamming it up with those four Coors drinkers who always have questions that can be answered by sound bytes from flustered coaches. You think Brian Billick and Dennis Green looked like idiots when they were coaching? Look at 'em now; total buffoons."

Like the Saints, the Packers are 5-5, which is good enough for a tie for first in the NFC North.

"Obviously, Drew Brees will be our main focus," says Mike McCarthy. "Especially since Brett Favre will have already played at Tennessee the previous day. We always try to keep one eye on Favre, because, as you know, the better he plays, the worse we look for trading him. Sure, Favre's a legend, and he's proving that once again in New York. But Aaron Rodgers is no slouch. He's a confident fellow. Why, just the other day, he was strutting around the locker room saying 'I am legend.' I was impressed, until I realized he was just naming his favorite Will Smith movie."

It will be an emotional night in the Superdome. Why? Because Charles Grant, Deuce McAllister, and Will Smith (the other one) aren't going down for steroid use. And what does New Orleans need more than a reason to party.

The Saints race to a 13-3 first quarter lead, and Brees throws for 310 yards and 3 scores. New Orleans holds on for a 27-24 win.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:54 AM | Comments (0)

CONCACAF Reviews and Previews

The Penultimate group stage for CONCACAF (i.e. North American) World Cup Qualifying concluded last night. We are now down to the final six teams, known as the "hex" (for hexagon, which has six sides). Of these, three will qualify for the World Cup outright, and a fourth will vie with the fifth-place team from South America for one more spot.

In my last CONCACAF column, I ranked the top teams in the region. Four of the six teams I ranked highest have come through to the final round, but there are two surprises, including one team I didn't even rank. Here is how I see the final round shaking out.

1. United States

This won't last forever, but I feel comfortable in saying that the USA is clearly the best team in CONCACAF at the moment. They only dropped points in qualifying at Trinidad, after they had already clinched a spot in the final round. What's exciting for Americans is the emergence of several young stars who hopefully will peak for 2010 World Cup.

You already know about Freddy Adu, who scored his first goal for the national team tonight (although he's scored plenty for the various junior USA teams), but he actually might have been surpassed by big, bruising forward Jozy Altidore, who is sixth months Adu's junior and has scored two goals now for the full men's team (in half as many caps as Adu).

2. Mexico

They are lucky to be ranked here. They actually finished second in their qualifying group to Honduras, and only qualified for the final round on tiebreakers (goal differential) over Jamaica. They lost twice and drew once in their final three qualifiers (albeit all on the road), and had to stage second-half comebacks in one of the games they won and in the game they drew. Very lucky to even be here.

But it's Mexico. I can't quite bring myself to rank them lower than second. They are coached by Sven-Goran Eriksson, who coached England from 2001-6, including the 2004 World Cup.

3. Honduras

This is the team that won the group Mexico was in, and has possibly passed Costa Rica as the third best team in the region in winning that group (Honduras, Mexico, Jamaica, Canada), widely believed to be the toughest qualifying group. As an aside, I heard lots of protest from Canadian soccer fans, full of vim after narrowly and controversially losing to the U.S. in the 2007 Gold Cup semifinals, complaining they might not make it into the final round of qualifying in spite of being "the third best team in the region." After finishing qualifying with no wins and two draws in six games, hopefully we can put that "third best team" nonsense to bed.

4. Costa Rica

It would not shock me to see Costa Rica, who went a perfect 6-0-0 in this last round, storm to the top two or three in the final group and cruise into the World Cup. The problem is, after a lackluster Gold Cup, they are still something of an unknown quantity because their qualifying group was so terrible (it included Haiti and Suriname, as well as the team I have ranked sixth in this article).

5. Trinidad and Tobago

When I last wrote about Trinidad, they had lost at home to Bermuda and were in very serious jeopardy of being eliminated from World Cup qualifying before even reaching the group stage. But not only did they recover to make it through, they pushed past Guatemala and Cuba to make the final round, and gave the U.S. their only red mark, a 2-1 win for the Trinis in Port of Spain, in qualifying.

The Trinis were the darlings of the 2004 World Cup, being the smallest nation ever to qualify but holding Sweden to a scoreless draw (on a Saturday on ABC, no less) and nearly doing the same against England.

They have also perhaps overcome more adversity than any other squad in the region, after most of their players refused to report for national team duty after not getting fairly paid for the 2004 World Cup. They also operate under the specter of CONCACAF president Jack Warner, a "Special Adviser" to the national team, and so thoroughly documented to be corrupt that it's amazing he stays in power. He reminds me of American politicians Ted Stevens and James Traficant, who breezily continue to run for office and try to hold it even after they have been convicted of felonies.

6. El Salvador

I will be pulling hard for them. They are the cinderella story of CONCACAF and are the only team in the hex that didn't get a first round qualifying bye. After that first round, they upset Panama in the second round, and then benefited from that easy Costa Rica/El Salvador/Haiti/Suriname group. It's hard to see which of the teams above them they could make a strong case for being ranked over, however.

Posted by Kevin Beane at 11:36 AM | Comments (2)

November 19, 2008

It's Tourney Time!

The college basketball season is in its infancy for 2008-2009, and you know what that means: preseason tournaments up the kazoo. Filtered out above those four-team, big-school sponsored shootouts, classics, and challenges are the standards to cross-conference get-togethers (try saying that five times fast).

These tourneys always seem to present big schools with tough contests against top competition, while providing mid-majors with opportunities to beef up their profiles. But which matchups could (or will) be worth paying the closest attention to? Here are some of the possibilities (and actualities) from the next two weeks of roundball feasting.

November 20th

Duke vs. Southern Illinois (Coaches vs. Cancer Classic)

This tournament got underway last week, with the semifinals and finals set to take place Tuesday and Wednesday. Madison Square Garden should be the site for two chess matches. This game features the bruising, slow-down pace of the Salukis against Duke's up-and-down style to showcase their athleticism. SIU might have a hard time slowing down Duke's tandem of Jon Scheyer and Kyle Singler, especially if they get hot. However, we'll find at if Duke can handle a rough and tumble game off the bat.

Michigan vs. UCLA (Coaches vs. Cancer Classic)

In the second game at the Garden, the question will continue to be "Which side is more potent?" For the offense, enter Michigan, where coach John Beilein is hoping to see more influence of his long-range bombardier attack that he installed at West Virginia. For the defense, Ben Howland and the Bruins, who look as strong and talented as ever. UCLA got a bit of a scare against Miami (OH), but should be ready for the Wolverines. I believe that UM needs steady point guard play to counteract the Bruins' Darren Collison and keep this game close.

November 21st

Memphis vs. USC (Puerto Rico Tip-Off potential)

This possible semifinal would have featured two of the country's top freshmen last year. But Derrick Rose and O.J. Mayo jumped to the NBA, so all we have now is a matchup of two of the country's top freshmen. Tyreke Evans is this season's phenom for the Tigers, while Trojan fans hope DeMar DeRozan can fill Mayo's scoring shoes.

There's plenty more talent on the floor than just these two. Last season's runners-up from Memphis return Antonio Anderson, Robert Dozier, Willie Kemp, and Shawn Taggert amongst others. USC counters with Taj Gibson, Daniel Hackett, and Alex Stepheson all back on the floor. Loads of sun, warmth, and talent in the same place? What more could you ask for?

November 23rd

Miami (FL) vs. San Diego (Paradise Jam potential)

We'll stay in the Caribbean for a couple days. Between the pina coladas and lying in hammocks, you could check out two of last season's strongest finishers. The Hurricanes, picked to finish fourth in a loaded ACC, will be led by All-ACC first team member Jack McClinton. As always, expect athletes to jump out of the gym with a Frank Haith team.

Then, you have the Toreros. They had a magical run through the West Coast Conference tournament and wormed their way into the Big Dance on their home floor. They didn't disappoint anybody with the stunning win over Connecticut in the tourney's first round. Now they're back to make sure it was no fluke. The fact that all five starters return might help push the legitimacy argument forward.

Connecticut vs. Wisconsin (Paradise Jam potential)

Speaking of San Diego's victim from the NCAA, they're back, with as much talent and even more anger. Hasheem Thabeet is just one of the many upperclassmen (A.J. Price, Jeff Adrien, Jerome Dyson, Craig Austrie) that won't be satisfied unless they get to Detroit in March. A tourney win in the Virgin Islands would be nice, but they'll probably have to be black and blue to get it.

The Badgers lost Michael Flowers and Brian Butch from last year's battering ram of a team. However, Marcus Landry is back for his senior campaign. Trevon Hughes will control the offense from the point. Jason Bohannon should be back behind the arc bombing threes. And overall, Wisconsin will dig, bruise, claw, and fight you to the end. A UConn/USD rematch would be worthwhile, but Bucky and the crew will do their best to mess up that reunion.

November 24th

Florida vs. Syracuse (CBE Classic)

The Orange were snubbed yet again from the NCAA tournament last year. Eric Devendorf, Paul Harris, and Jonny Flynn alone prove that they have more than enough talent to get back there this year. Florida missed out on defending their title for a second time due to their overall youth and inexperience. The Gators improved in the second half of last season and want to prove themselves once again.

Simply put, something's gotta give. Who gets themselves a quality out-of-conference win that could be very helpful come Selection Sunday?

November 26th

North Carolina vs. Texas (Maui Invitational potential)

Possibly the marquee game of the Thanksgiving Weekend before the bird even gets stuffed. Can A.J. Abrams, Connor Atchley, and Damion James put a huge footprint on the season, or will Ty Lawson, Wayne Ellington, Deon Thompson (and on and on and on) keep the mantle of "team to beat" in March?

I simply can't hype the matchup well enough. Come Thanksgiving Eve, it might just deserve a little attention.

November 28th

Arizona State vs. Baylor (Anaheim Classic potential)

Herb Sendek brought his defensive-minded style of play to the normally run-and-fun Pac-10. It started to take hold last season, with the Sun Devils becoming the most talked about team left out of the NCAA tourney. Now, as freshmen and sophomores dominate the lineup, can senior Jeff Pendergraph put the team on his shoulders?

ASU was a nice story last year, but nothing compared to Baylor. Just a few years removed from the program being put on life support, Scott Drew enthusiasm took the Bears all the way to its first "Big Tourney" birth in almost 20 years. Most of that team (including all five starters) is back to take another shot at the postseason. Could this be a preview of two tournament teams later on down the road?

Gonzaga vs. Michigan State (Old Spice Classic potential)

Whoever was in charge of scheduling this year in Orlando should get a raise because this eight-team field is loaded. Out of the plethora of matchups to choose from, this one may be the juiciest (outside of a Gonzaga/Tennessee final). The Bulldogs bring back Jeremy Pargo, Josh Heytvelt, Matt Bouldin, and bring in Kansas transfer Micah Downs. The Spartans counter with Raymar Morgan, Marquise Gray, Goran Suton, and Kalin Lucas, who'll have to step in and take the reins from Drew Neitzel. Not a bad way to finish off that leftover turkey.

November 29th

Washington State vs. Pittsburgh (Legends Classic potential)

In the easiest way I can describe it, this is a Titans/Ravens NFL game put on a basketball court. Expect physical play, grinding defense, and a possible 52-50 final score (not kidding). I usually like more up-and-down hoops, but I really like this matchup.

Pitt would be favored. They've got the floor general in Levance Fields and the bigs in Sam Young and "Beast of the Big East" DeJuan Blair. The Cougars counter with some experience of their own in Taylor Rochestie, Daven Harmeling, and "Moose of the Palouse" Aron Baynes. How WSU deals without Derrick Low, Kyle Weaver, and Robbie Cowgill will be big question mark in this early season.

With Oklahoma (and Blake Griffin's 25 points and 21 rebounds) squeaking past Davidson (and Stephen Curry's 44 points) Tuesday night, the tourney season is kicking into high gear. So, whatever game you'll be watching, sit back and enjoy the cornucopia of possibilities. Just don't get too full. There's a long season to go.

Posted by Jonathan Lowe at 11:23 AM | Comments (0)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 36

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson finished 15th at Homestead, easily clinching the 2009 Sprint Cup title, outpointing race winner Carl Edwards by 69 points. Johnson now joins Cale Yarborough as the only drivers to win three consecutive Cup titles.

"Just because I made history doesn't mean I'm done making history," says Johnson. "Next year, I'll begin the quest to become the first to win four straight Cup championships. Will I do it? Of course, it's a 'four'-gone conclusion."

2. Carl Edwards — Edwards won his third consecutive race, leading 157 of 267 laps in the Ford 400, but fell well short of catching Jimmie Johnson for the Cup title. Johnson needed only a finish of 36th or better, and finished 15th, winning the Cup by 69 points.

"You know, 'all hail' sounds a lot like 'aw, hell,'" says Edwards. "But, when you dig yourself a 141-point hole after nine races, it's hard to climb out of, even when you win three of the last four races. Just like that hole is void of dirt, those wins are void of meaning. I led all Sprint Cup drivers in wins, with nine, as well as leading all drivers in 'hollow' victories, with three."

3. Kevin Harvick — Harvick nearly broke through for his first win this season, but fell short with a second in the Ford 400, following Carl Edwards across the line. Harvick moved up one spot in the standings to fourth, and finished 276 behind Cup champion Jimmie Johnson.

"It would have been nice to end the season on a positive note with a win," says Harvick. "But it wasn't to be. Congratulations are in order for Jimmie Johnson. He deserves a 'pat' on the back. As for Edwards, I congratulated him a few weeks earlier in Charlotte when I 'put' him on his back."

4. Greg Biffle — Biffle finished 18th at Homestead, as fuel mileage issues and an early pit road speeding penalty hindered his efforts for the win to close the season. Biffle finished third in the points, 217 out of first.

"Congratulations to Jimmie Johnson," says Biffle. "He's proof that nice guys can finish first. And Carl Edwards has nothing to be ashamed of. He's proof that guys who are nice half the time and raging, egotistical maniacs the other half, can finish second."

5. Jeff Gordon — Gordon almost garnered his first win of the year, hoping his fuel strategy would outlast the leaders. It was close, but Gordon could only manage a fourth, as Carl Edwards won in Homestead while Jimmie Johnson clinched the Cup championship.

"Three Cups is an impressive feat," says Gordon. "But Jimmie will need another to complete the set. Only then will my wife and I agree to have wine with the Johnson's."

6. Jeff Burton — Handling problems, coupled with front-end damage from a mid-race accident, left Burton with a 40th at Homestead. He fell two spots to sixth in the points, and finished the year 349 out of first.

"Obviously, I'm looking forward to Daytona in February of 2009," says Burton. "As for the immediate future, I'm looking forward to Tony Stewart's 'Going Away Party.' It's going to be wild, and I understand that all protective and safety devices we wear as drivers will come in handy at the party."

7. Clint Bowyer — Bowyer finished fifth in the Ford 400, and moved up one place in the point standings, posting a solid fifth in the final Sprint Cup point standings. On Saturday, Bowyer captured the Nationwide points title by placing fifth in the Ford 300.

"As the driver of the Jack Daniels Chevy," says Bowyer, "it's always good to plead the 'fifth.' Obviously, as my Nationwide title suggests, I'm a championship-caliber driver, so it's too bad I'm losing Jack Daniels as a sponsor. I feel that with a little more 'aging,' I could go from 80 proof to at least 90 proof for a Sprint Cup title."

8. Tony Stewart — Stewart's last race in the No. 20 Joe Gibbs Home Depot Chevy ended with a ninth-place finish in Homestead. Stewart's aspirations of going out with a victory ended when he surrendered the lead with 11 laps remaining to pit for fuel. He finished ninth in the points, 482 out of first.

"Nothing says 'farewell' like one last wild bash in the Home Depot hauler," says Stewart. "Talk about going out with a 'bang.'"

9. Matt Kenseth — While leading with just two laps to go, Kenseth ran out of fuel and finished 25th, capping a disappointing season with even more disappointment. Kenseth went winless on the year, and finished well out of the hunt for the Cup in 11th, 500 out of first.

"Don't anyone ever say I'm not generous," says Kenseth. "I let Carl Edwards pass me early so he could lead a lap, then I ran out of gas, allowing him to pass. What do those two instances have in common? I didn't want to do either."

10. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. — A wheel bearing problem knocked Earnhardt out of the race early, and he finished 42nd, 21 laps down. Earnhardt finished 12th in the point standings, 557 out of first.

"Hey, the week wasn't all bad," says Earnhardt. "Dale Earnhardt, Inc. and Ganassi Racing announced a partnership. I guess congratulations are in order — not for them, but for me, for not trying harder to buy DEI. That would have really cost me. Thank for being so stubborn, Teresa Earnhardt. It really paid off for me."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:03 AM | Comments (0)

November 18, 2008

NFL Week 11 Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* Dear Cardinals: pay Anquan Boldin.

* The Texans should put Matt Schaub on IR. They're not going anywhere this season, and shouldn't jeopardize his future by bringing him back too early.

* Steve Mariucci needs to quit stalking Brett Favre. It is getting seriously creepy.

* No one snags defeat from the jaws of victory like the Oakland Raiders.

* I liked Cris Collinsworth in the booth this Thursday, describing the Jets' secondary responsibilities and the ways they shifted during the game.

***

If you ever wanted to create the appearance of point-shaving in the NFL, this weekend's game between Pittsburgh and San Diego was your baby. King Kaufman of Salon has the best summary I've read of the whole thing, but basically, Pittsburgh was robbed of a last-second touchdown that would have put them over the pointspread, and the reversed touchdown made tens of millions of dollars for bookmakers. That's even more damning when you consider that the Steelers were called for 13 penalties during the game, and San Diego for two.

I don't believe the fix was actually in, but if refs were going to fix a game, I do think that's pretty close to how it would look. Anyway, for the power rankings, brackets show last week's rank.

1. Tennessee Titans [1] — This is the first week I've seriously considered dropping them behind the Giants, who continue to roll over good competition. But this isn't college football — it's not like Tennessee scheduled weak out-of-conference competition. And Tennessee is only the third team this decade to start 10-0. The others were last year's Patriots and the 2005 Colts. Before that, you have to go back to the 1998 Denver Broncos, who began 13-0 before winning Super Bowl XXXIII.

2. New York Giants [2] — Last four wins have all come against teams with winning records. The schedule doesn't get any easier: the next five opponents also have winning records, and most of the games are on the road. They'll need Brandon Jacobs' knee to be healthy over that stretch.

3. Pittsburgh Steelers [4] — No one is ranked third this week. I have the Steelers here because they're probably the best team that's not the Titans or Giants, but third implies close to second, and the Steelers aren't. Tennessee and the Giants appear to be miles ahead of the competition. I have no faith in Ben Roethlisberger — does he like getting sacked? — and I'm not terribly impressed by the Steelers.

4. Carolina Panthers [3] — What happened to Jake Delhomme during the bye? In the two games since, facing the 2-8 Raiders and 0-10 Lions, Delhomme is 17-of-46 (37%) for 170 yards (two-game total!) with 2 TDs and 4 INT, earning a passer rating of 26.5. If Delhomme's play doesn't improve, the Panthers are going to be in a lot of trouble, because the schedule is about to get much harder.

5. Indianapolis Colts [11] — It's starting to look like the rumors of Peyton Manning's demise were greatly exaggerated. In the last three games, he has a passer rating of 104.0 and 7 TDs without an interception. For the season, Manning is 5th in passing yards, 6th in TDs, and has thrown for more first downs than anyone but Kurt Warner and Drew Brees.

6. Arizona Cardinals [6] — If the 49ers lose to Dallas in Week 12 (which is likely), and the Cardinals upset the Giants (which is not), Arizona will clinch the NFC West. The last time this team won a division title, they played in a different city and a different division. In 1974 and '75, the St. Louis Cardinals won the NFC East. Before that, you have to go back to the 1948 Chicago Cardinals.

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [9] — Four wins in the last five games, but they haven't played like an elite team in more than a month. The Bucs are 2-3 on the road, with remaining visits to Carolina and Atlanta. They have to win at least one of those games to have a realistic shot at the division title.

8. New York Jets [16] — They've won four in a row, and six of the last seven. The loss was to Oakland, but I'm finally ready to forgive them for that. Returner and occasional third-down back Leon Washington continues to be a difference-maker. Washington is an easy choice for Pro Bowl return man in the AFC.

9. Philadelphia Eagles [5] — Brian Westbrook doesn't seem to be 100%. In fact, he doesn't seem 80%. Philadelphia's offense never got anything going against Cincinnati, while the defense (8 sacks) kept them in the game. DeSean Jackson and Westbrook are the playmakers on that offense, and they both had quiet games on Sunday. A lot of the blame has to go either to Westbrook's health, or, if he's in pretty good shape, to the playcallers. You can't give Donovan McNabb 60 passes and only leave 15 runs for Westbrook.

10. Baltimore Ravens [10] — The Giants exposed their defense and embarrassed the offense. The Ravens' three-headed running back — Willis McGahee, Ray Rice, and Le'Ron McClain — combined for 47 yards and a 2.5 average on Sunday. Quarterback Joe Flacco and wide receiver Mark Clayton combined for 74 yards and a 10.6 average.

11. Atlanta Falcons [7] — Playoff hopes took a hit this week, as Atlanta is now two games out of the division lead and tied for the last wild card spot. Week 12 offers a home game against Carolina, and if the Falcons lose, their chances of winning the NFC South are effectively over. I won't call the game a must-win, but it's pretty important.

12. Green Bay Packers [12] — This week, Terry Bradshaw claimed that if the Packers still had Brett Favre, they would "easily be 7-2 or 8-1." This season, Aaron Rodgers has more yards, a better TD/INT differential, and a better passer rating than Favre. But even if you believe that Favre is better than Rodgers — and I don't think that's clear at this point — I don't know how Bradshaw thinks the Packers could have won four more games with Favre at QB. I assume he's giving them the close losses to Minnesota and Atlanta, and that gets him to 6-3. Then what? Beat Tennessee? I don't think so. The nine-point loss in Tampa? That seems unlikely. The 11-point loss to Dallas in Week 3? No way. You wanna argue one of those? Fine. But "easily" 7-2? Maybe even 8-1? That's ridiculous. The things these people say about Favre just cannot be taken seriously.

13. Dallas Cowboys [19] — The returns of Tony Romo and Terence Newman make this a much more dangerous team. The worry is, as Jimmy Johnson said on Sunday, that "they're not a mentally tough team." The Cowboys should win the next two games, at home against NFC West teams that aren't Arizona, and they have to, because Dallas faces a murderer's row in the last four.

14. Miami Dolphins [14] — Consecutive two-point wins over 2-8 opponents. They still count, but that kind of performance doesn't inspire a lot of confidence as the team tries to put together a playoff run.

15. New England Patriots [15] — Randy Moss has 615 yards and 5 TDs. Last season at this time, he had 1,052 yards and 16 TDs. Matt Cassel had a great second half on Thursday night, but he needs to start finding Moss if the Patriots are going to be competitive against elite teams.

16. Chicago Bears [13] — How's this for a wide-open division? Three of the four teams in the NFC North are 5-5. The Bears still play host to Green Bay and at Minnesota. There's a potential trap in Week 12 at St. Louis, if Chicago looks ahead to the next week's division matchup with the Vikings.

17. Denver Broncos [21] — The only division leader that has been outscored this season (-23 net points). The next-worst is Pittsburgh (+59). But the Broncos have won two in a row to rebound after three straight losses, and the win in Atlanta — where the Falcons had been 4-0 — was a statement that the Broncos should be taken seriously. San Diego is not out of the division race, though. If the Chargers can make up one game, then beat the Broncos in San Diego, they'll probably take the division. Good news for Denver includes the likely return of Champ Bailey in the next week or two.

18. New Orleans Saints [17] — The lack of offensive balance is amazing. The Saints average 319.7 passing yards per game (first in NFL) and just 91.8 rushing yards (28th), a difference of 2,279 yards for the season. The other really skewed team is the Cardinals (2,189), but no one else is even near a 2,000-yard difference like that. They say defense wins championships, and I'm sure that offense does too, but a pass-only offense and a mediocre defense is no way to build a contender.

19. Washington Redskins [8] — The dumbest play I've seen this season was DeSean Jackson throwing the ball away before he reached the end zone in Week 2. The second-dumbest was Dan Orlovsky running out of his own end zone for a safety. And third place came on Sunday night, when Rock Cartwright dove into the end zone to touch a punt that had already stopped on the 1-yard line, setting up the Cowboys' first touchdown drive on the 20-yard line.

20. Minnesota Vikings [18] — Are the real Vikings the team that dominated the Packers, imposing their will on the opponent with their running game and pass rush? Or are the real Vikings the ones who were impotent against Tampa Bay, with almost nothing from the offense and an unspectacular day on defense? Looking at their other results, I think it's probably "impotent against Tampa Bay."

21. Cleveland Browns [22] — I lost in this week's Tony Kornheiser pool. I bet that 55% of his sentences on MNF would include the word 'Quinn', and the actual number was surprisingly low. How was I supposed to know Brady Quinn would be so inefficient (14-of-36, 55.9 passer rating) that Kornheiser would actually talk about other people?

22. San Diego Chargers [20] — It's amazing the difference one great player can make. I'm talking about Shawne Merriman. Despite what the Giants' success this year might lead you to believe, a devastating pass rusher is really hard to replace. Last season, with Merriman occupying opponents' attention, everyone else on the defense was more effective. And if you watched them against Pittsburgh on Sunday, the Chargers' defense just didn't seem to have any big plays in it.

23. Jacksonville Jaguars [24] — Maurice Jones-Drew had his second good game in a row, but they had a disastrous day passing the ball. David Garrard, who had been on something of a hot streak, went 13-30 for 135 yards and an interception, plus four sacks for -18 yards. If you finish a game with 117 net passing yards, and don't have either 300 rushing yards or +5 turnovers, you're not going to win.

24. Buffalo Bills [23] — Four straight losses. If I were a Bills fans, I'd be pissed at Mike Tirico for jinxing Rian Lindell right before his game-deciding kick. Seriously, talking about Scott Norwood wide right from the same distance? Why not just make a voodoo doll of the kicker next time?

25. Seattle Seahawks [26] — It was a less than triumphant return for Matt Hasselbeck, who committed four turnovers in the loss to Arizona. Hasselbeck actually has a lower passer rating (55.0) this season than Seneca Wallace (79.5). In fact, Hasselbeck has been so bad that next week, he could go 30-for-30 for 300 yards and 3 touchdowns, and he'd still have a lower rating (72.8) than Wallace. Seattle is 31st in the NFL in offense.

26. Houston Texans [25] — Sage Rosenfels has been disappointing in relief of Schaub, but Rosenfels is not the problem. This defense is terrible. I know Indianapolis has a good offense, but you just can't get carved up the way they did on Sunday, both on the ground and through the air.

27. San Francisco 49ers [27] — Mike Singletary got his first win as a head coach, and in dominating fashion, with San Francisco ahead 35-3 at halftime. This is a young team that will struggle with consistency the rest of the way, but they should be competitive in every game left on the schedule.

28. Cincinnati Bengals [31] — The tie against Philadelphia was at least a moral victory, and more importantly, it wasn't a loss. But the offense is still abysmal. They're 30th in rushing, 30th in passing, last in total yardage, and 31st in scoring. They've been a little better recently, but only a little.

29. Kansas City Chiefs [28] — Dropped to last in the league in defense this week. The Chiefs are allowing 402.5 yards per game. The Lions think KC's defensive unit should be embarrassed. The Washington Generals think the defense needs some pride. The Swiss Army thinks the Chiefs need to get committed on defense. The Buffalo Bills, who play here in Week 12, think Kansas City is doing just fine.

30. Oakland Raiders [30] — This season, the Raiders have exactly half as many third-down conversions (30) as their opponents (60). No other team has fewer than 38 third-down conversions.

31. St. Louis Rams [29] — After two or three weeks in a parallel universe where they aren't completely terrible, the real Rams are back. St. Louis has been outscored by a staggering 173 points this season, by far the worst in the league (Detroit is next at -135). The Rams have given up more than twice as many points (317) as they have scored (144).

32. Detroit Lions [32] — A lot of people feel sorry for the Lions right now. I was talking to a friend who's a fan of an NFC East team, and she was saying how sad it was watching Detroit's early lead (10-0 and 13-7) slip away. If it's not one thing in Detroit, it's another. On a day when the defense finally played well enough to win, the offense lost 4 turnovers.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 11:57 AM | Comments (3)

One Player Can Make the Difference

Argentina and Spain are getting ready to battle each other in for the Davis Cup title. Whether it's due to the visible excitement of the team spirit that the competition evokes or to past experiences of personal nature, the Davis Cup has always kept a special spot in my heart, as a fan, spectator, coach, and a past player. Therefore, I was enjoying reading different predictions for the title match, speculations on how much Rafael Nadal's absence would play a role on the encounter, etc.

Usually during my reading of Davis Cup competition, my mind starts drifting away to various thoughts involving the Davis Cup and the nature of the tie. Does one player really mean that much to a team? How about the long five-set matches in three days? What about the importance of the surface? This time around, probably because of Nadal's missing of this important tie, I seemed to get stuck in the first question more than usual.

I could not help but remember Bjorn Borg immediately. At the age of 19, he led his country, Sweden, to its first Davis Cup title, virtually single-handed. Sweden went on to win Davis Cup six more times since 1975, including one final against the USA that was built up to be a thriller, but thanks to the antics of John McEnroe and Jimmy Connors, turned out to be a walk in the park for the Swedes. But none was more enigmatic than Sweden's first march to the title in 1975, when a young Borg, breaking Bill Tilden's record 50-plus-year-old record of 18 straight singles matches victories, won three points for Sweden in each tie, carrying the rest of the team on his shoulders to the ultimate victory against Czechoslovakia.

Then I remembered how I watched, in person, John McEnroe dissect the French Davis Cup Team led by Yannick Noah and Henri Leconte in 1982, on red clay, in front of a hostile crowd in Grenoble, France. In the opening match, he beat Yannick Noah in a five-set thriller to deflate the crowd, then the next day in doubles, put on the finishing touch by beating the best two players that France had to offer on their best surface in doubles, teaming up with Peter Fleming. Let's be realistic about Fleming's role. Remember the famous answer to the question "Who is the best doubles tandem ever?” It was "McEnroe and anybody."

Ironically, McEnroe's performance against France that year is hardly mentioned nowadays because it is obscured by an even more amazing performance by him the same year in an earlier round of the Davis Cup. It happened when he led his team to a 3-2 victory against Sweden, winning his doubles match, and his two singles matches, including a record-setting six hours and 22 minutes long match against Mats Wilander.

Then I remembered, Boris Becker, who in 1988 and 1989 helped Germany capture its first two Davis Cup titles with little-to-no help from his teammates. Like McEnroe and Borg in the earlier examples, he participated in both singles and doubles, collecting the usual three points in each tie, with the exception of only one time in two years.

My thoughts came back to today, back to the articles that I was reading. With all due respect to Rafael Nadal, clearly the best player in the world in 2008, he does not mean to his team as much as Borg did to his Swedish team in 1975, McEnroe to his team in 1982, or Becker to the German team in 1988 and '89.

Last, but not the least, I thought about Roger Federer's decision to play in the Davis Cup for Switzerland in 2009. He would have to win all three of his matches for his country to defeat the Americans. And if Switzerland wants to even start dreaming about the Davis Cup title, he would have to continue winning three matches per tie, à la McEnroe, Borg, and Becker. But let's limit the discussion to this tie against USA. Without Federer, Switzerland would not stand a chance against USA. With him, they have a legitimate chance to win two singles matches, and add a doubles victory thanks to Federer and Stanislas Wavrinka, the reigning gold-metal Olympic team.

Federer has done it to the Americans once before, without any help in the form of another top-20 player like Wawrinka and prior to becoming the great player of today. Let's turn the clock back about seven years and look at the last time Switzerland played the USA in the Davis Cup. Lo and behold, a 19-years-old Roger Federer, at this point never having gone past the fourth round in any slams, led the Swiss team to a 3-2 upset victory against the USA team, making Patrick McEnroe's first experience as the Davis Cup captain, a very bitter pill to swallow.

After all this talk, I am ready for next weekend's promising final between Argentina and Spain, even without Nadal. Equally, I am looking forward to the first rounds of next year already, especially the USA vs. Switzerland match. The Davis Cup's spirited atmosphere — there is no competition like it!

Posted by Mert Ertunga at 11:13 AM | Comments (8)

November 17, 2008

In the Rotation: NBA Week 3

After three weeks of the NBA season, it's safe to say that we can put to rest one of the big questions that was hanging over the 2008-09 season: will there be any sort of hangover for the players who competed in the Olympics?

The answer is an emphatic "no."

Though we're only about 10 games into the season, it's already clear that an extra month of basketball at the highest level available during the offseason will have no lingering effects on the players who participated in the Beijing Games this August. In fact, of the players who made up the United States roster, there are more players averaging better than their career highs across the board than there are players who have seen a decline statistically.

I can't see why anyone would think that playing in the Olympics would be a hindrance for a player. Instead of spending the summer hitting the weights or working on his game in a gym by himself, a player has the chance to compete against the best talent the world has to offer in meaningful games playing for one of the top prizes in sports. How could anyone not benefit from that experience?

I know, there is the obvious concern that players will injure themselves playing for their country and cost their NBA team wins early in the season while they recover from injury, but the chances of that happening are very slim. In fact, of the 30 NBA players that participated in the Olympic Games, only Manu Ginobili suffered any kind of injury that has forced a player to miss any NBA games, and the Spurs hope to have him back within the next week or two.

Ginobili has never played more than 77 games in a season in his entire career, so it's reasonable to say that these missed games were an inevitability for the Spurs. What's the difference if the injury comes while training in the offseason at the highest level or if it comes playing the Bucks in mid-December?

Injuries are a part of the game, and if I were running an NBA team, I'd want my best players preparing in the offseason at the highest level possible, even if there is a 3% chance he hurts himself in the process.

It could be worse; your team's star player could spend his summer vacation riding mopeds.

For more proof that any "Olympic Hangover" is just a myth, this week's "starting five" is comprised of Olympians that have hit the ground running this NBA season.

Starting Five

1. Dwyane Wade

Perhaps no player benefited more from playing on the Olympic team than Dwyane Wade. Wade spent all of last season trying to regain his 2006 NBA finals MVP form, but had to shut it down after just 51 games played when it became clear that he just wasn't himself.

Wade spent that time off getting himself ready for the Olympics both mentally and physically. He then erased all doubt that he would ever make it back to form by having an outstanding Olympic Tournament, capping off his "comeback" with one of the five greatest halves of basketball I've ever seen with the display he put on in the first half of the gold medal game against Spain.

Wade has carried the same energy and effort that he brought to team USA over to the Miami Heat. Sure, you could point to Wade already averaging career highs in points, assists, and rebounds as an indication that he benefited greatly from his time with team USA, but it's on the defensive end that he has shown the most improvement in his game.

Wade finished just one steal shy of LeBron James for the team lead in Beijing, and has shown that his commitment to defense wasn't just a summer fling. Not only is Wade averaging career highs in both blocks and steals, but he has nearly doubled his career averages in both categories. His commitment on D has seen Miami shave its opponent's points per game average from 100 points a season ago to 94.5 points per game so far this season.

Not coincidentally, with Dwyane Wade leading the way, the Heat are on pace to win 26 more games than they did a season ago.

2. Chris Paul

It's hard to argue with gold medal results, but you'll never be able to convince me that starting Jason Kidd over Chris Paul in the Olympics made any sense. On any given day, Chris Paul can be the best basketball player in the world. Call me crazy, but I want that kind of player playing as many minutes as possible.

But that's in the past, and all's well that ends well.

Let's focus on the present. Chris Paul is having one of the best starts to a season that any NBA point guard has ever had. His streak of 20 point/10 assist games finally ended this week at 8, which in itself is reason enough to make this list.

What's more impressive, however, is that so far this season Paul is putting up career highs in assists, rebounds, steals, field goal percentage, and free throw percentage. His 20.8 points per game is a hair shy of the 21.1 points he averaged a season ago.

Anyone who watched Paul carry the Hornets to the second best record in the Western Conference last season knows that it'd be nearly impossible for him to play better than he did a season ago.

That's exactly what he's doing right now.

3. Tayshaun Prince

It's not just superstars that reap the benefits of being an Olympian, even the guys on the end of the bench can cash in on playing alongside the world's best. Only Carlos Boozer and Michael Redd played fewer minutes than Prince for team USA, but the improvement in Prince's game from a season ago is remarkable.

Prior to this season, Prince's career highs in points and rebounds were 14.7 and 5.3 respectively. So far this year, Tayshaun has averaged 17.7 points and 8.2 rebounds, while shooting career best 88% from the free throw line.

He's evolved from a defensive stopper and fourth option on previous Pistons teams into the most consistent offensive player night in and night out for a team still struggling to find its offensive identity after the Allen Iverson trade.

4. Dwight Howard

Like everyone else in the starting five, Howard is already playing above his career average pace offensively. And like everyone else on the list, it has been Howard's defense that has stood out so far this season.

After finishing tied for seventh in the voting for the Defensive Player of the Year award last season, Howard said this preseason that his goal was to win the award this year. So far, Superman has been good on his word.

Howard leads the NBA at 4.1 blocks per game, over a block per game better than the next best player, Andrew Bynum, who's getting 3 blocks per contest.

Combine his defensive dominance with his career year offensively and the Magic's 50+ win pace, and Dwight Howard's name will be coming up a whole lot more this season when the MVP race heats up.

5. LeBron James

Speaking of early MVP candidates, LeBron James has been just that in Cleveland. LeBron has nearly matched or exceeded his career highs in all the major statistical categories, but has been able to do so while still averaging a career-low 37.5 minutes per game.

Led by James, the Cavs have gotten off to one of the best starts in the league. It's still way too early to tell what we might Witness from this team in the playoffs, but it's fun to enjoy watching LeBron develop a new fascination with the number 41.

In the Rotation

Chauncey Billups

Enough love for the Olympians, there are plenty of other players around the league off to great starts, as well.

Allen Iverson dominated the headlines in the trade that sent him to Detroit, but Denver didn't exactly give him away. Billups has, after all, played in the past six Eastern Conference finals, three straight all-star games, and has a Finals MVP award to his credit.

The numbers on Billups are never going to be overwhelming, with averages of 14.8 points and 5.5 assists per game for his career. But Billups is continuing a trend that he started over six seasons ago with the Pistons: winning. So far this year Billups' team is 6-1 with Chauncey starting at point guard.

Think about this, over the past five seasons, only Tony Parker can say that he's led his team to more success than Billups.

The Nuggets may not be a major contender in the West just yet, but with Chauncey keeping things under control down the stretch, Carmello Anthony's scoring ability, and the surprisingly effective defense down low by Nene, Denver might just have a puncher's chance out West.

Out of the rotation

Home Team Announcing Crews

One of my absolute favorite things about the NBA League Pass is turning on a game and trying to figure out which team's broadcast we're getting. The average estimated time it takes to figure it out: four seconds.

It's not difficult. Either the announcer will be calling the player with the ball by his last name, or he will be calling the player with the ball by his first name or some sort of nickname his teammates have given him, only it sounds about 30% less cool each time the announcer says it.

If the play-by-play guy uses the last name, it's opposing teams feed. If it's a nickname, it's the team with the ball's feed. It's usually that simple.

If that doesn't work, just wait for the first whistle. Apparently, it has been mandated by the league that each team's announcers must complain after every call that goes against their team. This new mandate led to Wednesday's performance by Boston color commentator Tom Heinsohn in which he shattered the record for "most times openly criticizing the officials in one quarter" during the Celtics' last-second victory over the Hawks.

It is a trend that started a few years ago, but has gotten out of control this season. There have been plenty of cases of hometown announcers openly rooting for their teams in the past, but so far this season, we have seen new levels of homerism as objectivity has been thrown out the window for most broadcasts.

Let's hope that things settle back down very soon, and people from other markets that may be watching can enjoy the game for what it is and not have to listen to fans with stat sheets call the game.

Inactive List

Shaquille O'Neal

Let me start out by stating the obvious here: I love a good basketball brawl. Who doesn't? Carmello Anthony's haymaker/80-foot retreat combo on Mardy Collins a few years back serves as one of my favorite random NBA moments of all-time. That being said, when it's all said and done, you can expect disappointment in the aftermath of a good brawl as surely all participants will receive hefty suspensions.

Shaq makes the inactive list this week not just for his role in Wednesday night's shoving match between the Rockets, in which he basically moved the entire pile a good 10 to 15 feet, towards the crowd no less, yet somehow avoided suspension.

No, it's Shaq's entire week's worth of thuggery that lands him on the inactive list. He followed his moshpit-like performance Wednesday night with the definition of a flagrant foul with this hit on Detroit's Rodney Stuckey.

What the second video doesn't show is that the foul happened the possession after Shaq was complaining hard about a no call on the other end. His foul on Stuckey was just as much frustration as it was to prevent an easy basket.

I'm not sure exactly when Shaq decided to go from "top five all-time center" to "Steve Nash's enforcer," but I think I speak for everyone when I say it's far more entertaining to watch Shaq when he's being the Big Aristotle than when he's just being the ornery old guy on the floor.

Hopefully the accumulation of this week's fines will open Shaq's eyes to the fact that no one views him as the Big Aristotle, Big Cactus, Big Diesel, or whatever he's calling himself these days, and that around the league now, he's just a Big Bully.

Be sure to check back at Sports Central every Monday to see who cracks Scott Shepherd's rotation as he breaks down what is going on around the NBA.

Posted by Scott Shepherd at 11:55 AM | Comments (1)

Toasted and Roasted

We've had yet another great weekend of college football, which gives us time to come up with the current list of the good and bad that we've seen this weekend, along with this year. And, since "cheers and jeers" and "thumbs up and thumbs down" are already in the mainstream, we're going to toast the good and roast the bad, hence the first-ever list of Toasted and Roasted.

TOAST: Raise your glasses to the Alabama defense, who anchored the nation's No. 1 team to victory last Saturday. Despite a horrific performance by the Tide offense in the first half, it was the defense who kept the Tide alive and shutdown Miss. State en route to another easy victory for Nick Saban and company. Despite the power offenses of the Big 12 South and SEC foe Florida, there is something to be said for a team who has rolled to an undefeated season so far on their defensive prowess.

ROAST: I know everyone else has been on their case, but you can't help but shake your head at Washington State. This is a team who has given up over 50 points six times this year. Their only win is against a FCS team (Portland State), and just when you thought the defense was bad, the offense was shutout for the third time in the last four games. The only good news for the Cougars? Winless in-state rival Washington is next on the list.

TOAST: LSU's incredible fourth quarter against Troy. The Tigers scored 30 points in the last 15 minutes to salvage their homecoming game and escape major humiliation with a 40-31 win over the Trojans. The never-say-die attitude from the Tigers was certainly commendable.

ROAST: LSU in the three quarters before that. Troy out-played, out-hustled, out-coached, and overwhelmed the Tigers in their own stadium. We all know the usually hostile environment that is a night game in Baton Rouge. Troy took a large chunk of that invincibility away with an inspired performance, only to run completely out of gas in the fourth quarter.

TOAST: Raise one for Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy. He's a man. He's 41. He's also 9-2 in a fiercely competitive Big 12 South. The Cowboy program is beginning to gain momentum, and Gundy shook off his famous rant from last year and let the results speak louder this year. Coach, we hear you loud and clear.

ROAST: Colorado's Dan Hawkins. I thought the Buffaloes would be much better than they are, given the improvements last year and the strong 3-0 start to this year. CU has just been on a downfall, losing six of their last eight, and with bowl hopes hinging on a road trip to Nebraska, I have to say that the Hawkins era in Boulder has been pretty underwhelming so far.

TOAST: Vanderbilt, who is going bowling for the first time in 26 years. Give tremendous praise to Bobby Johnson, who has accomplished what many thought could never be done at Vandy. This feat alone should prove his coaching abilities to the football world. And given the total collapse at Tennessee, the Commodores could be looking at 7-5 heading into the bowl season. Let's just hope that they don't go to the Music City Bowl; they've spent enough December days in Nashville.

ROAST: The thought of Oregon State in the Rose Bowl. No offense to the Beavers, who have performed extremely well and are taking the Pac-10 by storm, but I don't want to see a rematch of OSU and Penn State, a game in which the Nittany Lions dominated. A rematch could have many leaving a sour taste for Pac-10 football, who already is hurting by having both of the Washington teams in their league.

TOAST: Stanford's Jim Harbaugh for going for the touchdown on the last play, despite USC having the game in hand. Some might call Pete Carroll's move to ice the kicker by calling a timeout with seconds to go the move of a competitive man who plays all 60 minutes of the game. I call it a petty move of a guy who is so obsessed with "style points" that he refused to give up a field goal, even when he's up big. Congrats to Stanford for burning the Trojans with the last second score.

ROAST: Florida's Urban Meyer for keeping Tim Tebow in the game when the Gators were up huge in the fourth quarter. Meyer did it for two reasons: to run it up on Steve Spurrier and to pad the stats of his quarterback in the hopes of a repeat Heisman. What you saw in the first three quarters summed up the Gators for real. They are a deadly team with a good quarterback in Tebow, but Percy Harvin is the best player to suit up in a Florida jersey each game. Harvin turns short Tebow passes into huge gains. He creates havoc every time he touches the ball, except when it gets deep in the red zone and all they do is let Tebow score. Meyer could've run it up with his backup players — padding stats for Tebow was simply ridiculous.

TOAST: Northwestern, aka the second half of this year's Revenge of the Nerds. Yes, Michigan is down ... way, way down, but it still had to taste sweet to go into Ann Arbor and hand the Wolverines a stinging defeat. The 21-14 Wildcat victory sealed 2008 as the worst football season in Michigan history. Pat Fitzgerald has done a great job with this team, and odds are he's not going to stop anytime soon.

ROAST: Lou Holtz. If this guy was consistently right, Notre Dame and South Carolina would be battling for the national title every year. Come on, Lou, enough of the homerism! I wonder what would happen if the Irish met the Gamecocks ... what would Dr. Lou do then?

TOAST: To next week's showdown between Texas Tech and Oklahoma. Two high-powered offenses in a crucial showdown is a perfect pre-Thanksgiving feast for football gluttons everywhere.

ROAST: Three letters. BCS. Think about this: the loser of the Texas Tech/Oklahoma game will most likely lose any shot of a BCS-tier game. That's just one more reason why college football needs a playoff. At least with Alabama/Florida we'll have something close to a national semifinal.

Posted by Jean Neuberger at 11:41 AM | Comments (7)

November 13, 2008

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 11

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

NY Jets @ New England (-4)

First place in the AFC East rides on the outcome of Thursday night's Jets/Patriots showdown, a game in which quarterbacks Brett Favre and Matt Cassel will take center stage. While Favre's status as a "gunslinger" is legendary, Cassel is known as a mostly conservative quarterback, and if there's a knock against the Pats' offense, it's that it lacks big-play capability with Cassel.

"I pride myself on taking chances," says Favre. "There's not a throw I don't think I can make, or a phone call. I'm as free with my passes as I am with Packer game plans. Cassel is strictly by the book. His idea of 'taking a chance' is changing the snap count from 'one' to 'two.' Lately, though, Cassel has shown some Tom Brady-like qualities. He's looking for Randy Moss more, and he's dating a hand model, whom I'm believe goes by the name 'Lefty.'"

While the Cassel-to-Moss connection hasn't produced nearly the same numbers as the Brady-to-Moss hookup did, Moss hasn't complained at all, and he remained the consummate professional.

"I'm not sure what you're implying," says Moss, "but regardless of how comfortable I get with Matt, I don't plan to 'consummate' anything with him. Oh, you mean the other 'consummate.' You threw me. It's not often I'm called the 'consummate professional.' You know it's a pretty sad state of affairs for wide receivers when I'm the poster boy for good behavior. While other receivers are criticizing quarterbacks and coaches, or doing cocaine in public, or planning ill-conceived praise for our president-elect, or making out with their coach, I'm going about my business. I'm living proof that the most humbling experience in football is a flight out of Oakland."

The Jets signed former cornerback Ty Law, not for his "picks," but to "pick" his brain for Patriot tendencies. It's proof that Eric Mangini will go to any lengths to get a jump on his former boss, Bill Belichick, who will also go to any length, particularly 8 millimeters, for a competitive edge. If you like semi-unethical information gathering methods, this is the game for you — "The Ice" Mangini versus "The Fantastic Voyeur" Belichick.

Favre throws for 2 short touchdowns, and the Jets win, 24-21. After the game, Belichick coldly congratulates Mangini with the most awkward chest bump in NFL history.

Denver @ Atlanta (-4½)

The Broncos scored 21 fourth quarter points to beat the Browns 34-30 last Thursday, maintaining the Broncos' shaky one-game lead over the Chargers in the AFC West. Quarterback Jay Cutler and the Denver offense have proved to be quite a dangerous entity, especially against horrible defenses, or while benefitting from monumentally egregious officiating blunders. The Broncos will likely see neither when they travel to Atlanta and the Georgia Dome, where the Falcons are 4-0.

"We won't take them lightly," says Mike Smith. "Cutler may not have the strongest arm in the history of recorded time, but he definitely has the strongest arm on his body. And Brandon Marshall is a powerful receiver, capable of pulling amazing catches out of the air and presidential tributes out of his pants. Say what you will about the shortcomings of the AFC West, but one thing is for certain about that division — there will be a wildcard team advancing to the second round of the playoffs at the expense of the West division winner."

Matt Ryan threw for 248 yards and 2 touchdowns last week against the Saints, and this Sunday, the Falcons will face a defense that has even less to offer than the Saints.

"You must be referring to 'resistance,'" says Ryan. "What's softer? Brandon Marshall or the Bronco defense? With apologies to Joey Porter, I'd have to say the Bronco defense, a unit which considers an opponent's touchdown a 'stop.' Technically, I guess that's true. As for Cutler, our defensive scheme is to show him some looks that he didn't see in Cleveland, like 'coverage.'"

With a week off, the Broncos have had time to make defensive adjustments. That means defensive coordinator Bob Slowik has scrapped the "Cover Who?" defense in favor of a more concrete defensive ploy. Luckily for the Falcons, the new Denver defense is like a one-color Rubik's Cube — easily solved. Atlanta wins, 31-21.

Minnesota @ Tampa Bay (-4)

The Vikes share the lead in the NFC North after a narrow 28-27 win over Green Bay, made possible by a big day from Adrian Peterson and a dominant defensive effort that held the Packers to 184 total yards. That formula of a strong rushing attack and a sturdy defense is what the Vikes must ride if they are to claim the division crown.

"When this team stays focused," says Brad Childress, "we're dangerous. Staying focused in Tampa will be difficult, especially with a huge distraction like a boat, of all things, in the end zone. Has that pirate ship always been there, or did the Bucs place it there in a nefarious attempt to rekindle a situation this team has tried to put behind it? For God's sake, no one say 'permission to come aboard."

"In light of Kevin and Pat Williams drug testing issues, I would expect nothing less than to see a 'Whizzinator' in the other end zone. No, the 'Whizzinator' is not a cyborg assassin sent to earth to destroy any human who dares try to beat a drug test. I'm talking about the apparatus that allows you to walk in to a drug test and easily whip out a clean urine sample."

The Bucs are 6-3, second in the NFC South, and 4-0 at home. A victory over the Vikings hinges on Tampa's red zone efficiency. Too often this year, the Bucs have settled for field goals when their offense stalled inside their opponent's 20-yard line.

"Our red zone offense has left me 'kicking and screaming,'" says Jon Gruden. "As for the University of Tennessee head coaching job? I'm not interested. I'm a highly-paid professional coach. Why the heck would I do 'Volunteer' work?"

What's the plan for the Bucs? Load up the box, take Adrian Peterson out of the game, and force Gus Frerotte to throw into man coverage. That's just how Tampa defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin chiseled it into a stone tablet. It's a close one, but the Bucs win, 19-16.

Baltimore @ NY Giants (-6½)

The 8-1 Giants are clearly the class of the NFC, while the emerging Ravens are tied with the Steelers for first in the AFC North. Sunday's matchup in the Meadowlands will be a rematch of Super Bowl XXXV, won by the Ravens, 34-7.

"While much has changed in Baltimore since then," says John Harbaugh, "one thing has remained constant, and that's the presence of Ray Lewis in the middle of the defense. It's no fun looking across and seeing the piercing gaze of Lewis staring back at you. Whether it's a Parchesi board, a pane of glass, or the line of scrimmage separating you and Ray, it's frightening to know that his attention is all on you. It will be a test of wills when Eli Manning and Ray face off. Manning is a master of disguising what he's thinking. That's usually because, no matter the situation, he always looks confused."

"I know the Ravens will come after me like a bunch of crazed dogs," says Manning. "I hate to steal a line from the great Lawrence Taylor, but heaven knows, I'm sure he's stolen his share of lines in his day. We'll be ready to play, and I'm sure Plaxico Burress will, at the very least, be in uniform. Ready to play? Maybe. Heck, I might just call a short crossing pattern for Plaxico just so Lewis can flatten him and Coach Coughlin can taunt Plax."

Baltimore's defense will keep them in the game, but in the fourth quarter, when big-game experience matters, Manning will make the plays that Joe Flacco cannot. Giants win, 19-10.

Oakland @ Miami (-11)

Ricky Williams rushed for 105 yards, including a 51-yard touchdown run, in Miami's 21-19 win last week over the Seahawks, Williams' first 100-yard game since the 2005 season. With the win, the 'Fins remained one game out of the AFC East lead, trailing the Jets and Patriots.

"Nothing will rejuvenate a career like taking some direct snaps from center," says Williams. "It's just like I discovered when I started a florescent-lit 'garden' in my attic — everything's better without the middleman. It's like my career has been resuscitated, or I've been given a mouth-to-mouth breath of new life. A few years ago, I guess I would have called that a 'shotgun,' which is exactly how I take snaps from center now. So, it looks like everything has come full circle."

In Oakland, 'offensive ineptitude' is the word, although 'grease' is the word in Al Davis' hair. Last week, the Raiders managed only two Sebastian Janikowski field goals in a 17-6 loss to the Panthers. Oakland has now gone nine straight quarters without scoring an offensive touchdown.

"I guess you could say we can't score without Janikowski," says Tom Cable. "Which is bothersome, because I've found that if you need Janikowski to 'score,' then you're in trouble, most likely with law enforcement in relation to slipping certain substances into the drinks of unsuspecting co-eds. Maybe we should try that on some opposing defenses."

With a 2-7 record and coming off such a dismal performance, the flight from Oakland to Miami will be long and arduous, mostly because the charter plane lacks such amenities as leather upholstery, personalized sleeping quarters, and an assistant named Renfield, amenities found in Al Davis' chartered hearse. Miami wins, 22-9.

New Orleans @ Kansas City (+4½)

You've got to hand it to Herman Edwards. Going for the winning two-point conversion after a touchdown in San Diego with the Chiefs trailing the Chargers 20-19 was a gutsy call, but one that will be questioned.

"Do I have to say it again?" says Edwards. "You play to win the game. I felt that was our only chance to win the game. There was no way our fatigued defense could stop their offense. Does that sound like a cliché'd explanation to a failed two-point conversion, when an otherwise routine extra point would have forced overtime? Well, it is. Who's to say we wouldn't have got the ball first and scored, without our defense having to set foot on the field? I considered that, but I figured our captains were too darn fatigued themselves to make the correct choice at the coin toss."

The Saints always play to win the game, which inevitably means having to score more than 30 points because the New Orleans defense surrendered at least that much.

"Yes, we have defensive issues," says Sean Payton. "But it is patently not true that opposing offenses can toss bead necklaces at our defense and expect an even easier route to the end zone. However, it is true that you can toss Jeremy Shockey a bead necklace and he'll 'lose his top.'"

If the Saints were in another division, they might have a better record, but they're in the South, home to much better defenses. I think they'd be great in the "Wild West" division, because every game is a "shootout." New Orleans wins, 30-24.

Detroit @ Carolina (-14)

Sure, the Panthers are 7-2 and leading the NFC South, but are there any positives when your quarterback, Jake Delhomme, suffers through a 7-for-27, 72-yard, 4-interception day in Carolina's 17-6 win over Oakland?

"You want positives?" says John Fox. "I'll give you one. I'm positive that was the worst quarterback performance in Panthers' history. Chris Weinke, you're off the hook. However, Jake's quarterback rating was 12.3. That's positive. And I'm positive that Jake's 12.3 rating will soon be established as the football equivalent to baseball's 'Mendoza Line.'"

The Lions lost to the Jaguars 38-14 last week, falling to 0-9, as new quarterback Daunte Culpepper was benched in the second quarter.

"Despite the outcome," says Rod Marinelli, "we made progress. We proved that even without Matt Millen's input, this organization can still make bad decisions. Isn't that just what a team desperate for a spark needs? The addition of an outsider who only takes playing time away from Drew Stanton, who may be your quarterback of the future? I will say, though, Culpepper did have some great Randy Moss stories, and his sex boat anecdotes really lifted our sprits."

As if Detroit needed more bad luck, they'll soon be crossing the paths of over fifty black cats. But in the Lion tradition of wise decisions, they'll be running under ladders and breaking mirrors before they do.

With a loss, the Lions could be facing official elimination from the playoffs. With a win, they'll still suck. Carolina wins, 26-17.

Philadelphia @ Cincinnati (+9½)

With their 36-31 loss to the Giants last week, the Eagles might as well concede the division crown to the Giants and dig in for what is to be a lengthy battle for one of the two wildcard positions. Philly is 0-3 in the division and tied with the Cowboys in last, albeit with a 5-4 record.

"We don't dwell on the negatives," says Donovan McNabb. "That doesn't leave very much else to talk about, but there is good news — wide receiver Hank Baskett announced his engagement to former Playboy playmate and Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson, previously of Hugh Hefner's stable. I can't wait to see her — with clothes on. Hefner even wants to give her away at the wedding. Hank wants to 'take her back' before the wedding. If you're a fan of The Girls Next Door, then you're probably aware that Wilkinson was the girl with the irritating laugh, and also the originator of the 'Hef-ty Bag.'"

Baskett and Wilkinson will no doubt seal their nuptials with a kiss, and Chad Johnson and Marvin Lewis have buried any lingering animosity with what has become almost a weekly smooch of their own. The Bengals are fresh off their first win of the season, a 21-19 win over Jacksonville in Week 9, and enjoyed a bye last week.

"We've still got a long way to go," says Marvin Lewis. "One win is nothing to be satisfied about. I myself am interested to see which comes first, our second win or Chad Johnson getting to second base. You know, Chad's nothing but a tease. It's just like when he plans all these touchdown celebration and then doesn't even score. He's all foreplay and no action."

Eagles' defensive coordinator Jim Johnson is certain to put the heat on Cincinnati quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick. If Fitzpatrick can read these blitzes, then he should find lots of one-on-one matchups with Johnson, T.J. Houshmandzadeh, and Chris Henry. If not, he, like the Bengals, will go down hard. Eagles win, 28-20.

Chicago @ Green Bay (-4)

The Bears and Packers both lost last week, with Chicago falling to the undefeated Titans and Green Bay dropping a heartbreaking 28-27 loss in Minnesota. The Bears stuffed Tennessee's running game, but couldn't stop Kerry Collins, while the Packers picked off Gus Frerotte three times, but were smacked around on the ground by 192 yards by Adrian Peterson.

"Why did I challenge Adrian Peterson's game-winning touchdown run?" says Mike McCarthy. "The same reason an idiotic Wheel of Fortune contestant would buy a vowel when facing the puzzle 'Dumb_ss.' I'd like to buy an 'A,' Pat. I'm one of those guys known to go just a little bit too far on occasion, whether it be challenging an obvious call, or telling a three-time NFL MVP that he's not needed anymore."

In Chicago, the "wheel" in question in the Bears' wheel of fortune is the right leg of quarterback Kyle Orton. Orton suffered a high ankle sprain two weeks ago against the Lions and has stated that there's a chance he'll play this Sunday in Green Bay.

"I was never much of a Wheel fan," says Lovie Smith, "although it was cool when former San Diego kicker Rolf Benirschke hosted. I was more attuned to Jeopardy, because you never had to know the answers, just the questions. My quarterback situation is much like Jeopardy — Orton usually has answers, and Rex Grossman usually has questions, like 'There was a safety there?!' or 'What do you mean the middle linebacker knew where I was going to throw it by just looking at my eyes?'"

"'Kyle Orton.' Who is my starting quarterback?"

It's a huge game in the North, but aren't they all when three teams are separated by one game? Aaron Rodgers makes up for last week's game with 2 touchdown passes, and finally comes to the realization that "safety" is a misleading term for what happens when you're tackled in your opponent's end zone. Green Bay wins, 26-19.

Houston @ Indianapolis (-9)

In a 41-13 blowout loss to the Ravens last week, quarterback Sage Rosenfels threw 4 interceptions, and the Texans lost their second straight game to fall to 3-6, last in the AFC South.

"In the vague and loosely defined interpretation of the term common in the state of Texas," says Gary Kubiak, "Sage is known as a 'weapon of mass destruction.' He's responsible for more picks than Yao Ming."

The Colts went to Pittsburgh and emerged with a 5-4 record and renewed vitality when many expected them to be outmuscled by the Steeler defense. Peyton Manning threw for three scores, and the Indy defense intercepted Ben Roethlisberger three times.

"Manning's 2, Steelers 0," says Manning. "And those two points didn't come from a deep snap out of the end zone. I realize that Big Ben was playing hurt, but you can't throw those types of interceptions and expect to win, place, or show, or keep your job. It was a satisfying win, because, truthfully, I'm a little envious of Ben's status as the highest-paid player in the NFL. And he's obviously got a great insurance package that would make a Canadian jealous. Luckily, I'm able to supplement my meager income by endorsing loads of luxury consumer products."

Colts win, 30-24.

St. Louis @ San Francisco (-3)

After two promising wins after an 0-4 start, the Rams have lost three in a row and are again in turmoil. Jim Haslett benched quarterback Marc Bulger in last week's 47-3 loss to the Jets, but recently announced that Bulger would start against the 49ers this Sunday.

"If there's one quality I look for in a quarterback," says Haslett, "it's 'decisiveness.' At least I think so. Maybe. Let me think about that. Yes, 'decisiveness.' That's the word. I think this entire organization could benefit by being more decisive. The word 'interim' is used entirely too much around here. We've got 'interim' coaches, 'interim' quarterbacks, and 'interim' fans. But we've dropped the 'interim' from Steven Jackson's title; right now, he's just a 'pansy,' with no 'interim' to it."

Although 0-2 under new head coach Mike Singletary, the 49ers are playing with a newfound passion, and very nearly upset the Cardinals last Monday, losing 29-24. Singletary brings to the job the hard-nosed discipline of a middle linebacker and an enthusiastic rapport with his players. And he's shown that if necessary to make a point, he'll drop his pants anytime, anywhere to do so.

"Well, the employees at the Wal-mart produce section would disagree with that statement," says Singletary. "But there's only one way I know how to check a cantaloupe for ripeness, and that's with my pants down. Call my methods unorthodox; I call them 'unortho-Dockers."

San Francisco wins, 31-17. Afterwards, Singletary addresses the media from the Pants Off, Dance Off studios of Fuse TV. On Monday, Mike Ditka salutes the 49ers' win by dropping his trousers on the set of Monday Night Primetime.

Arizona @ Seattle (+3)

With a 6-3 record, the Cardinals have opened up a comfortable four-game lead over all three of their NFC West counterparts. In last week's 29-24 win over the 49ers, Kurt Warner passed for 3 touchdowns, as Arizona's high-powered passing attack again proved to be unstoppable.

"A lot of people ask me, 'Kurt, why do you guys even bother calling running plays?'" says Warner. "They expect me to reply with some token response, like 'to keep the defense honest' or 'to maintain offensive balance.' Eventually, I tell Larry Fitzgerald, Anquan Boldin, and Steve Breaston to stop asking me that question all the time. Then, I give 'em the honest answer: the reason we call running plays is so I can audible out of them. After all, we are 'The Greatest Show on Retractable Turf.'"

Arizona wins, 24-22.

Tennessee @ Jacksonville (+3)

With their running game shut down by the Bears last week, the Titans were forced to take the air, and Kerry Collins responded with 289 yards passing and 2 touchdowns. One criticism of the Tennessee offense was that Collins relied too much on short passes to tight ends and running backs. The Titans remained perfect, and will take their 9-0 record to Jacksonville to face the unpredictable Jaguars.

"Kerry doesn't have a 'drinking' problem," says Jeff Fisher, "nor does he have a 'dinking' problem."

When the Jaguars have their running game going, they can beat anybody, or at least the 0-8 Lions. Against the undefeated Titans, Jacksonville will find yards on the ground hard to come by.

"It's been a frustrating year," says Jack Del Rio. "This team is great one week, and horrible the next, and horrible the next, then decent the next, then bad the next. This team is like 'Heaven and Hell.' I don't know if I'm 'Jack Del Rio' or 'Ronnie James Dio.' On top of that, I have to deal with an issue of insubordination from linebacker Mike Peterson, who's supposedly one of the leaders of this team. Guess what, Mike. It's my way, or the highway. Careful, or you'll get my kicks on Route '86.'"

"Now, to turn this team around, I'm going to do something that's never been done by an NFL coach. I'm going to quote Eric Cartman of South Park and urge my players to 'Respect my authori-ty!'"

Are the Jaguars the team to end the Titans' unbeaten streak? To answer that, ask yourself these tough questions — is a win over the Lions that impressive? And is a fruit basket from the 1972 Dolphins really that motivational? I just don't see a Jeff Fisher-coached team suffering a letdown, and Tennessee's defense excels in stopping the very things Jacksonville needs to do to win. Tennessee wins, 23-13.

San Diego @ Pittsburgh (-3½)

Ben Roethlisberger lost his quarterback duel with Peyton Manning last week, as Roethlisberger's 3 interceptions essentially allowed the Colts to win in Pittsburgh 24-20.

"Big Ben struck '3,'" says Mike Tomlin. "In England, I believe that means it's time for a spot of tea. In Pittsburgh, I think that means it might be time to make a change. Do I have the guts to bench the league's highest paid player? Heck, I have the guts to go for a two-point conversion when I don't need to, so this decision shouldn't be a problem. When all is said and done, putting our best quarterback on the field is the only reasonable option. Therefore, Hines Ward will be the starter."

The Chargers are 4-5 and still very much in the hunt in the AFC West, chasing the 5-4 Broncos. Facing the Steelers' No. 1-ranked rush defense, the Chargers will likely have to attack through the air.

"Philip Rivers is certainly capable of doing that," says Norv Turner. "I guess if the 1998 NFL draft had turned out slightly differently, Peyton Manning very well could be the Chargers quarterback today. And the Colts would be living with the embarrassment of drafting Ryan Leaf. It's too bad Leaf couldn't make it in the NFL. There's so many more players to ask for painkillers here in the NFL than in the college game."

Who will Tomlin choose to start a quarterback? Luckily, against the Chargers' subpar defense, Roethlisberger or Byron Leftwich could get the job done. At Heinz Field against the Chargers, any quarterback will cut the mustard, especially when handing off to Willie Parker 20 times. Steelers win, 27-20.

Dallas @ Washington (+1½)

Tony Romo makes his return to the Cowboy lineup after missing four weeks with a broken pinkie, during which the Cowboys lost two of three and their play was little better than "finger-lacking bad." Now, with Romo back, the pressure to win is immense, and a loss to the Redskins with Romo may bring the Cowboys to the breaking point.

"Brad Johnson and Brooks Bolinger tried their best," says owner Jerry Jones. "For their efforts, they'll be enshrined in the Cowboys 'Ring of Horror.' We are hoping and praying that Romo's return will re-establish this team as a viable Super Bowl contender. In other words, what I'm saying is that the only reason this team sucks right now is because of Romo's absence. If we had a theme song right now, it would be 'Wrapped Around Your Finger' by the Police. See, you can say 'Police' in Dallas without mentioning the name 'Pacman Jones.' Now, excuse me while I go take out my frustrations by donning a white cotton suit and knocking over an ass load of candles."

The Redskins are 6-3, two games behind the Giants and one game ahead of the Cowboys and Eagles. The 'Skins were dominated by the Steelers in their last game, and coach Jim Zorn realizes another loss could send his team into a Cowboy-like tailspin.

"Have you noticed that nearly every 'tailspin' that team goes into," says Zorn. "Nearly every one involves the actions of Tony Romo or someone close to him. Whether it's a fumbled snap, his girlfriend wearing a pink-numbered jersey, or a broken pinkie, the Cowboys are all about Romo. And we think Terrell Owens is self-centered."

"And Jerry Jones can talk sideways out of his mouth all he wants about how Wade Phillips' job is safe. Bull. The only reason Jones keeps Phillips around is so he can call him a 'Bum,' then slyly correct himself and tell Wade he accidentally called him by his father's name. There's just too much drama in Dallas. Even Ewing Oil looks tame by comparison."

That's right. In Washington, you can save the drama for Obama.

Surprisingly, it's a defensive struggle in D.C. The 'Skins hold the Cowboys to a field goal before Joe Theismann runs out of his own end zone in celebration, giving Dallas a safety and the Redskins a 9-5 win. Sorry, that was 1978. Actually, Jason Campbell throws for a score, and Clinton Portis guts out 87 yards and a short score on the ground. DeAngelo Hall and Terrell Owens go head-to-head for the title of the NFL's "MPP," "Most Petulant Player."

Washington wins, 27-24.

Cleveland @ Buffalo (-4½)

The Bills have lost three straight division games, tarnishing their promising 4-1 start to the season. In three weeks, Buffalo has gone from first to last in the division, giving Dick Jauron cause for concern.

"Oh, I have no doubts that we'll rebound from this," says Jauron. "My true concern is that I'll never listen to the Goo Goo Dolls' song 'Slide' again without thinking Johnny Rzeznik is making a sly criticism of my coaching. If he is, I'll forgive him. How can you be mad at a guy wearing eyeliner?"

For the Browns, more than one player has accused the team of quitting in last Thursday's loss to the Broncos. Originally, Jamal Lewis made the accusation, and his assertion was seconded by others, including Joshua Cribbs.

"The last thing this team needs is to be separated into warring factions," says Romeo Crenel. "You got the Jets and the Sharks ... no, I mean the Bloods and Crips ... no, it's the Socs and the Greasers. Again, I'm wrong. Actually, we've got 'those accused of quitting' on one side and 'those who accused others of quitting' on the other side. It's not good. Something like this can only end in tragedy. Just ask my ex-girlfriend, Juliet."

So, which team is ready and/or capable of a turnaround? If you guessed "the team from the city on the shores of Lake Erie," then you are correct. I say there's less quit in the Bills, and more importantly, more defense. Or should I say, some defense. Bills win, 29-21.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:56 AM | Comments (0)

The Donovan McNabb Problem

What in the world is wrong with Donovan McNabb?

Back in 1998, McNabb had the greatest game of his college career against Virginia Tech. He led his team down the field with less than two minutes left, winning the game with a last second touchdown pass.

If you've never seen it before, you can watch the entire drive here.

After a huge scramble for a first down, McNabb was completely spent (or so it seemed). He ended up getting physically ill. You could tell; he could barely move. It made it all the more impressive when he pulled out the win.

But notice something else. The announcers talking about how "this has happened before" to McNabb in big situations.

Fast forward to Super Bowl XLII.

The Patriots are winning, but the Eagles have a chance late in the game. They need a quick score. McNabb should be running the hurry-up offense, but he's not. In one of the most frustrating wastes of time ever in a Super Bowl, the Eagles took over four minutes to drive down the field. Most of that time was spent by McNabb trying to catch his breath in between plays.

Once again, in the biggest moment of his life, he was sick on the field.

McNabb denied all of the reports, but his teammates eventually let the story get out. Freddie Mitchell claimed that McNabb was so winded, he actually had to call some of the plays down the stretch. Hank Fraley and Jon Runyan both gave similar accounts of what happened.

"He fought to the end," Fraley told Comcast SportsNet in Philadelphia. "He gave it his all. He was almost puking in the huddle. One play had to be called by Freddie Mitchell because Donovan was mumbling because he was almost puking."

The man physically, or maybe mentally, cannot handle the stress of a close game.

I bring this up because I was watching the Eagles/Giants game this weekend. In what was the biggest game of the season for the Eagles, McNabb once again had a chance to lead his team down the field to victory at the end of the fourth quarter.

McNabb scrambled for seven yards and was tackled just short of the first down on the Philadelphia 43 yard line. There was 2:29 left in the fourth quarter when he was tackled. But McNabb couldn't get another play off before the two-minute warning.

He didn't even try.

He appeared winded, almost hyperventilating.

I don't blame Andy Reid for running the ball twice in an attempt to get the first down. I wouldn't have put the ball in McNabb's hands in that situation, either.

The dude appeared to be in a complete panic.

I don't get it. I really don't. This Eagles team is good. When they beat people, they really beat people. When they've won games this season, it's been by an average of 18 points.

When they've lost games, it's been by 6 points or less. Every time.

So in close games, McNabb fails. And it didn't just start this season. McNabb is 24-27 in his career in games that are decided by 6 points or less. This issue has followed him throughout his career. And the bigger the game, the worse it gets.

Do you know how many times McNabb has won a playoff game that was decided by less than 7 points? Once. In that miracle 4th-and-26 game against Brett Favre.

The Eagles have peaked with McNabb. When they were leaps and bounds ahead of everyone else, they could deal with McNabb's tendency to shrink in clutch situations. Now that the Giants, Cowboys, and Redskins have all caught up, they need a quarterback who can get them over the hump in games like last Sunday's.

The Eagles are going to miss the playoffs again this year. When the season's over, they're going to have to make some tough decisions. One of those decisions may have to be ending the McNabb era in Philadelphia.

Sean Crowe writes a column for Sports Central every other Thursday. He also covers the New England Patriots for Examiner.com.

Posted by Sean Crowe at 11:28 AM | Comments (0)

November 12, 2008

A Quiet, Exciting Beginning

Of any major, well-followed American sport, college basketball has the most inconspicuous, anonymous curtain raiser.

Currently, as your author scribes, the national powerhouses of Georgia Southern and Houston are finishing up Division I's first non-exhibition game of the 2008-09 season.

Yet, just the knowledge of games like this year's opener helps to identify the relatively insane college hoops fans that make my favorite sport like a sort of yearly indie rock band that gets a small amount of buzz in late October and early November before exploding to sell out arenas and top the charts in the latter stages of March and early April.

It goes without saying that the buzz is just starting.

You don't have to be one of these huge college hoops fans to know that North Carolina is the prohibitive favorite to take home the title in Detroit on April 6. In fact, it's quite possible that the Tar Heels are even a stronger media and common knowledge favorite this season to win the championship than the Florida team from two years ago that returned all five starters and its sixth man from a championship team

Consider this. UConn, the consensus No. 2 team, lost a first-round game a year ago as a No. 4 seed, has its best player (A.J. Price) coming off of a torn ACL, and its most recognizable player (Hasheem Thabeet) is still fairly offensively challenged.

Given that Price's recovery looks to have been smooth and Thabeet is the premier defensive game-changer and lane-clogger in the country, but the Huskies still have more question marks present than say, UCLA did this time a year ago.

Beyond North Carolina and its predicted domination of its schedule in March and April, the second major national storyline of the new season is the Big East. The national columnists are making the biggest deal out of how the conference could get nine or 10 teams into the NCAA tournament.

The lower rung of the consensus NCAA teams is where the Big East really shows its strength. Marquette, the predicted fifth or sixth placed-team, has its top three guards of Wes Matthews, Dominic James, and Jerel McNeal back for a fourth straight season together.

(As an aside on the Golden Eagles and their new coach, does anybody remember how Buzz Williams basically quit on New Orleans about a year ago when that program on the brink of having nowhere to play? Not saying it means he's a bad guy or a bad coach, just saying.)

Villanova made the Sweet 16 last year, returns almost all of its key players, including junior Scottie Reynolds, but is looked to be a seventh- or eighth-place team.

It's nearly impossible to project this far out, but after the Big East juggernaut, no other BCS conference looks to be nearly as strong. After UNC in the ACC, Miami may well be the second best team, ahead of Duke. Jack McClinton is one of the nation's best players, and probably won't receive the credit he's due unless the Hurricanes finish right behind North Carolina.

Many people out there are high on Wake Forest and its awesome recruiting class that seems slightly reminiscent of Purdue's team a year ago. The sheer inexperience on the roster is reason to be skeptical of some who are making Sweet 16 predictions for the Deamon Deacons.

Speaking of the Boilermakers, they and Michigan State should head the Big Ten, although it wouldn't surprise anyone to see Wisconsin up at the top of the league again. After those three and possibly Ohio State, there's a substantial drop-off to the rest of the league, including what will almost certainly be one of the worst seasons in Indiana history.

Then there's the Big 12, a conference where a case could be made for anyone of three teams to win it, with none of those teams being the defending national champions. One would think that Texas is the class of the league, but Blake Griffin and Oklahoma or Curtis Jerrells and Baylor could have a significant say in the matter.

UCLA will be reliant upon freshmen in shooting guard Jrue Holliday and center J'Mison Morgan to team up with Darren Collison to win the Pac-10. Arizona State really should have been in the NCAAs last year, but is almost certain to get there this year and will be close to UCLA in the standings all year due to the play of all five starters returning, including James Harden and Jeff Pendergraph.

USC looks like a good bet to stay with the top two, but the best conference in the country a year ago has question marks galore all the way down, not the least of which are from Tucson, after Brandon Jennings' departure to Rome and Lute Olson's to retirement.

The dominant side in the SEC should again be Tennessee, but the Vols probably lost too much despite a solid recruiting class to be as good as they were a year ago. Florida should bounce back to be a tournament team, and Kentucky will benefit greatly from a full year of Patrick Patterson. Vanderbilt and then just about all of the West division could be decent teams or merely mediocre to bad.

Davidson is deservedly getting national praise as a top mid-major team after its brilliance last year, and the Wildcats should be back to the tournament, even though Chattanooga is an underrated team in the SoCon. Yet, the importance of point guard Jason Richards from last year's Davidson team cannot be understated, and without him, it's hard to imagine even Stephen Curry going back to the Elite Eight.

The two best non-BCS teams, even including Memphis, might hail from the same league in the West Coast Conference. Gonzaga has everyone back, including Jeremy Pargo, who is one of the nation's best at simply taking over a game. The Zags probably have an even better team this year than the Sweet 16 team three years ago that came within an Adam Morrison river of tears of beating UCLA. Saint Mary's has its three best players back and four of five starters, including Patty Mills, the point guard who made even Chris Paul and Kobe Bryant look silly during the Olympics. And that's not even mentioning the team that won the conference tournament and a first-round NCAA game last year in San Diego, who returns its starting five including Brandon Johnson and Gyno Pomare.

The Missouri Valley likely won't get as much hype due the aberration that was a one-bid league a year ago. But any two of Illinois State, Creighton, Southern Illinois, or Drake should end that. Other mid-majors that are likely to make an impact or grab headlines this season include Siena, Middle Tennessee State, VCU, Tennessee-Martin, and Cal State-Northridge.

I would be remiss if I didn't at least give a mention to the new three-point line. Because after all, college basketball is really nothing more than a three-point contest and the movement of that line back a foot will most assuredly result in about 250 teams shooting about 35% from the floor every game.

In all seriousness, it shouldn't make that much of a difference. In fact, the biggest thing that both the casual and diehard fans will notice is that there will be more room for spacing in teams' offensive sets, which should result in an increase in the quality of play.

Posted by Ross Lancaster at 11:13 AM | Comments (0)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 35

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson all but secured his third straight Sprint Cup championship with a dominating weekend in Phoenix, winning the pole and leading the most laps on the way to his seventh win of the year. Johnson can clinch the title with a finish of 36th or better at Homestead next week.

"36th? Great," says Johnson. "I've always wanted to be Michael Waltrip for a day. Anyway, it's only fitting that all the talk of concession speeches took place in the home state of Arizona Senator John McCain. Ten speeches down, one to go."

2. Carl Edwards — Edwards finished a strong fourth in Phoenix, but as has become very apparent in the Chase, a solid finish means very little if the driver you're chasing still finishes ahead of you. Edwards needed another off-race from Jimmie Johnson, but Johnson did not oblige, and instead won the race, thereby increasing Edwards' point deficit from 106 to 141.

"Of course we didn't expect to leave Phoenix with the points lead," says Edwards. "But we did hope to make some progress. Ideally, I wanted to at least cut Johnson's 106-point lead in half, which would have given us hope heading to Homestead, not to mention been a good reason to substitute a 'half-gainer' for a back flip."

"But, as long as we're mathematically alive with one race to go, I have to keep my hopes up. It's a long shot, but you never know. I could win the race, and Johnson could be the first car taken out. With David Gilliland in the field, anything's possible."

3. Greg Biffle — Biffle started at the rear of the field after a transmission change on Saturday and made steady progress throughout Sunday's Checker O-Reilly Auto Parts 500. He finished 11th and is now 203 behind Jimmie Johnson in the point standings.

"Is that the 'fat lady' I hear singing?" says Biffle. "Or is that 1980s Canadian super group Loverboy, singing their heavy-on-the-synthesizer smash hit 'When It's Over?' Or, do I hear 'Dandy' Don Meredith crooning 'turn out the lights, the party's over?' In any case, their voices are very clear, because they've been warming up for about four weeks now."

4. Kevin Harvick — Harvick recorded his sixth top-10 finish of the Chase, racing to a seventh in the Checkers O-Reilly Auto Parts 500. He moved up two spots in the points to fifth, and is 328 behind Jimmie Johnson.

"What's the big hoopla about preempting a NASCAR race to show America's Funniest Home Videos?" says Harvick. "Whether it's the Chase for the Cup or AFV, viewers are getting the same thing — something that's 'laughable.'"

5. Jeff Burton — After finishing the last four races outside the top 10, Burton rebounded in Phoenix with a ninth-place finish, his 18th top-10 result of the year. Burton is fourth in the Sprint Cup standings, 269 out of first.

"Jimmie Johnson's third straight championship title will certainly warrant its place in history," says Burton. "And in a year in which politics played such an important role, I think it's only fair that NASCAR bring about some 'change' and establish term limits on NASCAR champions."

6. Clint Bowyer — Bowyer finished 12th in Phoenix for his 16th top-10 finish of the year. He is sixth in the Sprint Cup point standings, 335 out of first.

"Just like in the Sprint Cup series," says Bowyer, "the Nationwide title is coming down to the last race at Homestead. I've got a 56-point lead on Carl Edwards. As of now, the Nationwide championship is in the Richard Childress garage, and I don't thing Edwards has the gall to enter the RCR garage again and put his hands around something that doesn't belong to him."

7. Jeff Gordon — Gordon lost a cylinder on lap 165 while running in the top five in Phoenix, and eventually retired on lap 266, his sixth DNF of the year. Still winless on the year, Gordon fell to seventh in the points, 410 out of first.

"Jimmie Johnson is on the verge of making history," says Gordon. "And he was kind enough to 'make history' of 11 other drivers before he chose to do so for himself. It's that kind of unselfishness that makes Jimmie the champion he is."

8. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth finished 15th in Phoenix, overcoming an early flat tire and ongoing handling issues that left him struggling to stay on the lead lap. With one race to go, Kenseth stands eighth in the points, 470 behind Jimmie Johnson.

"We saw wind, race, and a dust storm in Phoenix," says Kenseth. "It will take nothing short of another act of God for Carl Edwards to have a chance at the Cup title."

9. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. — Earnhardt finished sixth in the Checker O'Reilly Auto Parts 500, improving one place in the point standings to tenth, 474 out of first.

"There's four words I always say when I'm down and need a lift," says Earnhardt. "No, not 'Damn you, Tony Eury!' But, 'Wait until next year.'"

10. Tony Stewart — With seven laps to go, Stewart and Matt Kenseth spun in a crash triggered by A.J. Allmendinger, knocking Stewart from a sure top-10 finish. Then, on the final lap, Stewart was collected in another wreck, again involving Kenseth and Allmendinger. Stewart finished 22nd, one lap down, and is now 12th in the point standings, 502 out of first.

"I'm last in the Chase," says Stewart. "From my perspective, I'd much rather see America's Funniest Home Videos than watch a race. Heck, I often preempt some of my sponsor obligations for a quick viewing of Tony Stewart's Naughtiest Hauler Videos Starring Various Women Who Haven't Signed Any Form of a Waiver."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:04 AM | Comments (0)

November 11, 2008

NFL Week 10 Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* Did you watch the Thursday night game? Cris Collinsworth really, really hates Kellen Winslow, Jr.

* It's often said that the officials could call holding on every play if they wanted to. The officials in the Packers/Vikings game did want to.

* I don't fault Herm Edwards for trying a two-point conversion instead of playing for overtime. He was missing more than half of his defensive starters to injury by then. Almost 50% of two-point conversions succeed, and his chances of winning in overtime were probably under 50%.

* I am not impressed with Tim Hightower. He couldn't find a hole at a golf course.

* Kurt Warner, though, was fantastic on Monday night. He belongs in any serious MVP discussion.

***

The Pittsburgh Steelers could be 9-0 without Ben Roethlisberger.

Big Ben is third in the NFL in sacks (28), trails only Brett Favre in interceptions (11), and ranks 25th in passer rating (76.1), behind (seriously) Tyler Thigpen and Dan Orlovsky. And he's getting worse. In the last three weeks, Roethlisberger has 1 TD and 8 interceptions, with a passer rating of 38.2.

Pittsburgh is 6-3 this season. In each of the three losses, Big Ben has made crucial, game-changing mistakes.

* Week 3, at Eagles: 13-25, 131 yds, 0 TD, 1 INT. Roethlisberger took 8 sacks, committed 3 turnovers, and got a safety for intentional grounding in the end zone. A lot of the pressure was his offensive line's fault, but Ben made plenty of mistakes on his own.

* Week 8, vs. Giants: 13-29, 189 yds, 1 TD, 4 INT. The worst game I've ever seen him play. Repeatedly ate sacks (5 for 35 yards) in key situations, converted 1/10 third downs, and tossed 4 picks.

* Week 10, vs. Colts: 30-42, 284 yds, 0 TD, 3 INT. In his own words, "You'll never hear me say 'I' anything, but I lost this game. I let the guys down on offense and defense."

All three of those were close games, and in all of them, even slightly better quarterback play could have been the difference. The Steelers have a capable backup in Byron Leftwich. In fact, the offense looked a lot better last week when Leftwich came in for an injured Roethlisberger. If you want to go back a little further, in 2006, the offense looked significantly better with Charlie Batch than it did with Big Ben. This offense has a lot of weapons, and the team doesn't need a great QB in order to be successful. I mean, they're 6-3 with a guy who's been less efficient than Dan Orlovsky.

If Ben isn't 100%, he shouldn't be playing. I'm going to hand this off to Deion Sanders; forgive the grammar: "He gotta sit down. One thing to be tough, another thing to be smart. Don't hurt your team." Even if Roethlisberger isn't hurt, give him a week off. Tell the media he's injured and just needs a week to get right, let Leftwich play, and bring Big Ben back for the Week 12 home game against Cincinnati. I am becoming genuinely concerned for Roethlisberger's career. He needs to stop proving that he's tough — no one doubts that — and start proving that he's smart.

As we get to the power rankings, brackets indicate last week's rank.

1. Tennessee Titans [1] — In Week 10, they had more points than rushing yards. Should Kerry Collins go to the Pro Bowl? He's been the best in the league at avoiding negative plays: his 4 sacks and 3 interceptions are both league-best among starting QBs. Collins has proved he can make plays when his team needs them, leading clutch drives against Indianapolis and Green Bay, and almost single-handedly hanging three touchdowns on the Bears. And he's doing this with one of the worst receiving corps in the NFL. Are there really three other AFC quarterbacks who are more deserving?

2. New York Giants [2] — I really liked their playcalling on Sunday night. Forty-five running plays and 32 passes. The Giants controlled time of possession for 39 minutes, almost twice as long as Philadelphia. If Brandon Jacobs is averaging 6 yards per carry, keep giving him the ball.

3. Carolina Panthers [4] — Their matchup against Oakland was the ugliest offensive game of the 2008 season. Jake Delhomme had 7 completions and 4 interceptions. It is remarkable that a team can win when its QB only has three more completions to his own team than the opponent. DeAngelo Williams and the defense bailed him out. Julius Peppers (3 sacks, 2 FF) and Jon Beason (15 tackles) have earned very serious Pro Bowl consideration.

4. Pittsburgh Steelers [3] — Here's what Joe Buck said on Sunday: "I don't know any fan base that travels better than the Green Bay Packers." I guess Buck has never seen the Terrible Towels waving in an enemy stadium. If you'd like to leave a comment for Mr. Buck, this is his page at FOX Sports.

5. Philadelphia Eagles [5] — I counted nine blitzes against the Giants. Those nine plays resulted in two completions, six incompletions, and an interception. You beat the Giants by getting Eli Manning to make mistakes, not by rushing three and dropping people into coverage. It looked to me like the Eagles' coaching staff was playing not to lose.

6. Arizona Cardinals [6] — Ken Whisenhunt has no killer instinct. Up five with 2:12 to play, Arizona had second-and-two and San Francisco was out of timeouts. Pick up a first down and the game is over. The Cardinals ran twice in a row for -3 yards and the 49ers got the ball back in Arizona territory with over 1:00 to play. Warner completed 76% of his passes on Monday night, and the defense was expecting runs. If Arizona had passed on either play, they probably would have gotten a first down and run out the clock. But Whis bet on his defense instead of his passing game, and almost lost because of it. Show some guts, Whis. That's a cowardly way to coach.

7. Atlanta Falcons [11] — Four wins in their last five, and they're still getting better. The Falcons are playing very smart football. They are one of the least-penalized teams in the league (under five per game) and they're protecting the football (+4 in turnovers). If I had to pick right now, I think Mike Smith would be my Coach of the Year and Matt Ryan would be my Offensive Rookie of the Year.

8. Washington Redskins [7] — They rank 26th in scoring. Jason Campbell has undeniably improved, but suggestions that he's suddenly a Pro Bowler or an MVP candidate are laughable. The defense is the strength of this team. London Fletcher remains the leader of the unit, but strong safety Chris Horton should play in the Pro Bowl and win Defensive Rookie of the Year.

9. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [10] — The defense has come on in the last month, carrying the team through some struggles on offense. Tampa hasn't allowed any opponent to score 30 points this season. I'm not sure what to make of this, but the most points they've given up was to Kansas City in Week 9.

10. Baltimore Ravens [12] — Joe Flacco's first five games: 169 ypg, 1 TD, 7 INT, 60.6 rating. Flacco during the team's current four-game win streak: 201 ypg, 6 TD, 0 INT, 107.5 rating. Just as important as what Flacco is doing, though, is what he's not doing: throwing a lot. On Sunday, the Ravens had eight first downs passing, but they had 14 running. That's the way this team wants to play.

11. Indianapolis Colts [13] — Two straight wins against 6-3 opponents, and they're the last team to beat Baltimore. The rest of their schedule looks forgiving, so if the Colts can keep playing like this, they should have a good shot at a wild card. The only remaining game against a team with a winning record is Week 17 against Tennessee.

12. Green Bay Packers [8] — Worst game of Aaron Rodgers' pro career. Constant pressure will do that, but what an ugly performance from Rodgers. Meanwhile, his coach, Mike McCarthy, made a replay challenge as bad as I have ever seen. The play stood, which cost the Packers a crucial timeout, but they might have been even worse off if the play had been overturned, which would have given Minnesota first-and-goal at the one-yard-line. The Packers hadn't stopped Adrian Peterson all day, so they were just looking at more time off the clock before he scored.

13. Chicago Bears [14] — I feel bad about beating up on Rex Grossman, but this isn't going to be the same team until Kyle Orton is healthy. I will give credit to Chicago's defense: they went up against Tennessee and completely shut down the running game, which I'm sure was their game plan — make Kerry Collins beat them with his arm. Unfortunately for Chicago, that's exactly what Collins did.

14. Miami Dolphins [15] — Ricky Williams is still awfully fast. This guy was drafted the same year as Donovan McNabb, Daunte Culpepper, and Edgerrin James, all of whom have noticeably lost some speed. Williams looked great on a 51-yard touchdown run this week. James hasn't had a run that long since his rookie season.

15. New England Patriots [17] — Controlled the game against Buffalo, with a 15-minute advantage in time of possession. The offense is starting to find a rhythm with Matt Cassel and BenJarvus Green-Ellis. In the fourth quarter, New England had a 19-play, nine-minute touchdown drive to seal the game. The defense has been playing well for the last month, holding four straight opponents under 20 points.

16. New York Jets [21] — Last season, Thomas Jones averaged 3.6 yards per carry and scored one rushing touchdown. Halfway through the 2008 season, his average is 4.7 and he has 8 rushing TDs. This offseason, the Jets added two all-pro blockers: guard Alan Faneca and fullback Tony Richardson. They also got RT Damien Woody, a former Pro Bowler with New England. There's been a lot of publicity for Brett Favre and Kris Jenkins, but don't forget these guys.

17. New Orleans Saints [9] — Their playoff hopes took a serious blow this week. They're now two games out in both the division and the wild card race. If every game was in New Orleans, they might be okay, but the Saints are 3-1 at home, 1-0 in London, and 0-4 on the road. Reggie Bush may return to the lineup in Week 11.

18. Minnesota Vikings [22] — Got a big win over the Packers, but they have a huge problem on special teams, particularly in their punt game, which has now allowed five TDs. The other looming problem is the potential suspension of Pro Bowl DTs Kevin Williams and Pat Williams. Minnesota's front four really dictated to Green Bay's offense on Sunday, and the Vikings can't afford to lose those guys.

19. Dallas Cowboys [19] — Both the NFC East (24-12) and the AFC East (22-14) have every team over .500. That's pretty amazing this late in the season. The Cowboys, Eagles, Bills, and Dolphins are all 5-4, and they're all tied for last in their respective divisions.

20. San Diego Chargers [20] — The biggest problems are on defense, but if you want one statistic to sum up why the Chargers are a .500 team instead of a contender this year, that statistic is rushing first downs. San Diego has just 38, fewer than anyone but the Lions. Two years ago, the Chargers ranked first in the NFL in that category. Last year, they were 12th. Now they're 31st.

21. Denver Broncos [25] — The offense is as good (2nd in NFL) as the defense is bad (29th). The Broncos give up 389 yards per game. If that average reaches 400, it will be the worst defense in 25 years.

22. Cleveland Browns [16] — Not closing out wins. In the last two weeks, they've been outscored 38-7 in the fourth quarter, giving up double-digit leads in both. Brady Quinn had an efficient game on Thursday, but he can't throw exclusively to Winslow. Quinn didn't throw more than 15 yards downfield in the whole game, and future opponents will take the underneath routes away from him if Quinn doesn't prove he can go long.

23. Buffalo Bills [18] — Clearly aren't as good as their 4-0 start suggested, but I don't think the Bills are as bad as their 1-4 record since. Those four losses all came against teams with winning records, and three of them were on the road. Two players who make a difference: QB Trent Edwards and DE Aaron Schobel. Edwards' three worst passer ratings of the season have all come in the last three games, and the team is 1-3 since Schobel's foot injury.

24. Jacksonville Jaguars [24] — Best defensive game of the season came without suspended captain Mike Peterson. It seems like most coaches who suspend star players have been successful this season. The Panthers went 2-0 without Steve Smith, the Giants won without Plaxico Burress, and now the Jags performed without Peterson. It's nice to see coaches enforce discipline without being punished for it.

25. Houston Texans [23] — Most points allowed in the AFC (254). The only opponents all year they've held below 28 points were the Lions and Bengals. Head coach Gary Kubiak called out his defense, but it takes a team effort to get to -12 in turnovers, the second-worst mark in the NFL.

26. Seattle Seahawks [27] — Five losses in their last six games, but they haven't been really humiliated in more than a month. That's better than you can say for any of the teams ranked below them.

27. San Francisco 49ers [29] — Started the season 2-1. Now they're 2-7. But I liked the offensive gameplan on Monday night, and despite some mistakes, Shaun Hill looked like the right choice at QB. Disciplined play and eliminating mistakes will continue to be Mike Singletary's challenge here. The 49ers had 10 penalties and three turnovers against Arizona.

28. Kansas City Chiefs [30] — Tyler Thigpen has played three good games in a row, and Tony Gonzalez, after a slow start, has exploded during that stretch: 23 receptions, 254 yards, 3 TD. Kansas City has lost its last three games by a combined eight points. If the ball starts bouncing their way, the Chiefs could start winning some games.

29. St. Louis Rams [26] — Outscored 81-16 the last two weeks. I like Steven Jackson, but he's not worth 30 points a game. I'm not sure what's wrong with Marc Bulger, but this is two bad seasons in a row. I think the Rams need to have a quarterback competition next year, and not just between Trent Green and Bulger.

30. Oakland Raiders [28] — Since Lane Kiffin was fired, they have scored 35 points, an average of seven per game. The next-worst scoring team in the NFL, Cincinnati, averages twice that.

31. Cincinnati Bengals [31] — Last in the NFL in yards per game and yards per play. This was a top-10 offense last season.

32. Detroit Lions [32] — It's time to start thinking about the possibility of 0-16. Their remaining opponents have a combined record of 40-23. Detroit can be mathematically eliminated from playoff contention this week. If the Lions lose, the Bears win, and the Bucs orFalcons win, it's official.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 11:28 AM | Comments (0)

November 10, 2008

In the Rotation: NBA Week 2

"At least a half a dozen or more teams will be drastically changed throughout the course of the season, meaning what you see now isn't always what you get come playoff time."

In case you missed it, that was a direct quote from the first edition of "In the Rotation" last week.

It didn't take long to prove that point.

The Denver Nuggets and Detroit Pistons pulled off the first, and most likely biggest, trade of the 2008-09 NBA season when the Nuggets sent future Hall of Famer Allen Iverson to the Pistons for Chauncey Billups, Antonio McDyess, and Cheik Samb.

It was a move that some viewed as a salary dump of sorts for the Pistons, giving the team more salary cap flexibility than virtually every team in the league heading into the now infamous free agent period of 2010. Others saw it a last-ditch effort at an NBA title while the Pistons' window is still open — a swing-for-the-fences type move by Joe Dumars before rebuilding this team.

Whatever the case may be, both teams made statements early that they were going to aggressively pursue an NBA championship this season.

This trade gives the Pistons the one thing that they have lacked during their current streak of six straight Conference Finals appearances: a go-to scorer. While the Pistons' balanced offensive attack has caused nightmare matchups for teams in the playoffs, it has also lead to their biggest weakness as a team: prolonged scoring droughts.

Sunday's blowout loss at home against Boston, which featured, you guessed it, a prolonged scoring drought in the second quarter, proved that the new-look Pistons are still a work in progress. Allen Iverson has shown flashes of what has made him one of the greatest scorers in NBA history in his two games with the Pistons, but looks like he needs a lot more time on the floor with his new teammates before they establish any sort of comfort level.

The Pistons missed out on having Iverson with this group for an entire training camp, but still have 77 preseason games left to figure things out before the season really starts in Detroit.

Let's take a look at what else is In the Rotation this week in the NBA:

Starting Five

1. Wednesday, November 5th

If the NBA season was "off and running" last week, it hit "full stride" on Wednesday.

First, the day started off by Carmello Anthony vowing to drop 44 against the Warriors later that night, an homage to new President Elect and soon to be 44th President Barak Obama. (Anthony scored 28, honoring the legacy of the great Woodrow Wilson instead.)

That was followed by Derrick Rose making his national TV debut on ESPN against the Cleveland Cavaliers, a game in which not surprisingly LeBron James stole the show with a vintage LeBron-like performance, scoring 41 points, grabbing 9 rebounds, and dishing out 6 assists.

While that was going on, Amare Stoudemire was busy lighting up the Pacers to the tune of 49 points and 11 rebounds in a 113-103 victory.

Then, Tony Parker scored a career-high 55 points in a double OT thriller in Minnesota that saw the Spurs pick up their first win of the season.

Finally, the night ended with the seemingly invincible Lakers torching the lowly Clippers with a 22-0 fourth quarter run, allowing the Lakers to coast to an easy 18-point victory.

2. Chris Paul

Chris Paul made history this week by becoming the first player in NBA history to have at least 20 points and 10 assists in his team's first six games, breaking a nearly 40-year-old record held by Oscar Robertson.

Here's a quick rule of thumb when deciding whether or not an NBA achievement is noteworthy: if there is a record held by either Oscar Robertson or Elgin Baylor, and a player breaks that record, it's noteworthy.

Think of all the great point guards that have played in the last 40 years. Not one of them has played at as high a level to start the season as Chris Paul is playing right now.

It's almost funny to think about how great a season Paul can have if he keeps up this pace. Unless, of course, you play in the Western Conference. Then it's not as funny.

3. Jerry Sloan

On Friday, Sloan became the first head coach in NBA history to win 1,000 games with the same team. Since Sloan took over as head coach in December of 1988, there have been 219 coaching changes in the NBA (with Larry Brown accounting for nearly half of those).

Sloan's Jazz teams have reached the playoffs in 17 of the 20 seasons he has spent on the bench, with an average of 51 wins per season, yet he has never won an NBA Coach of the Year award. Don Nelson, the only active coach with more wins than Sloan, has been named Coach of the Year three times, but has never coached in the NBA finals.

Sloan may be one of the least decorated coaches in the NBA, but aside from Phil Jackson and Gregg Popovich, he may be the most successful.

4. Atlanta Hawks

The Hawks cracked the rotation last week, but they are getting the credit they deserve for their 5-0 start this week by making the starting five.

I said that the Hawks would be tested this week with tough games at New Orleans and home against Toronto, and they passed both tests with flying colors. They didn't miss a beat Sunday when they traveled to Oklahoma City to play the Thunder without their star power forward Josh Smith, who will miss the next two to four weeks with a sprained ankle.

Despite the loss of one of their top players, the Hawks join the Lakers as the only two unbeaten teams left in the NBA.

5. NBA Schedule Makers

Kudos to the NBA for not cowering at the obvious stranglehold the NFL has on Sunday afternoons by scheduling two potential Conference Finals preview games Sunday evening: Boston at Detroit and Houston at the Lakers.

Call me crazy, but I thought watching four of the best teams in the NBA was a nice change of pace after an afternoon of watching football games, and a welcome alternative to sitting through three hours of Al Michaels and John Madden.

Sunday games during the NFL season are common in cities like L.A. and Toronto, but I for one would like to continue to see more marquee matchups on Sunday nights, regardless of the football schedule.

IN THE ROTATION

Brandon Roy

Brandon Roy has picked up right where he left off in the heroics department. His final minute of the Blazers game against the Rockets just added to the reputation that he received last season (and rightfully so) as one of the top clutch performers in the NBA.

Roy hit not one, but two high degree of difficulty shots in the final minute of the Blazers' overtime victory over Houston on Thursday night. (He also had a bonehead foul in that span, but that tends to be forgiven if you can follow it up with this.)

After hitting several big shots last season, Roy has once again proven that his name belongs in the conversation as one of the top closers in the NBA.

BURIED ON THE BENCH

Tracy Mcgrady

Speaking of Thursday's Rockets/Blazers game, it also serves as the last time Tracy McGrady decided to show up.

McGrady followed up his 30-point, 8-assist, 7-rebound performance on Thursday night with a terrible 0-for-5 shooting night in L.A. against the Clippers Friday, and returned to the scene of the crime with a 1-for-11 dud against the Lakers in the Rockets' 29-point embarrassment Sunday night.

The Rockets have shown flashes of greatness early in the season, but this team needs to maximize each game they get with their Big Three healthy. Instead, they have yet to hit their stride with Ron Artest, Yao Ming, and McGrady all on the floor at the same time.

Unless these "superstars" start to show some consistency, hovering around .500 might become familiar territory for the Rockets.

INACTIVE LIST

Stephon Marbury

Steph doesn't make this week's inactive list for literally being put on the inactive list. That could happen to any $22 million player.

No, what landed Marbury on this week's inactive list was Steph doing what Steph has always done best: talk.

First, the former "Starbury" said earlier this week that he planned to practice at his former high school, Abraham Lincoln High, in order to stay in shape while sitting on the Knicks inactive list, but decided better of it saying, "I spoke to the Players' Association and they said it wouldn't be a good idea."

Probably not.

Then, later on in the week, when asked his thoughts on being benched, Marbury said he wanted to buy the team so he could activate himself. He was joking. I think.

Apparently the recession hit some harder than others.

Either way, it doesn't look like Marbury's getting out of the Mike D'Antoni/Donnie Walsh doghouse any time soon. Hopefully that won't stop him from still commenting on it.

Be sure to check back at Sports Central every Monday to see who cracks Scott Shepherd's rotation as he breaks down what is going on around the NBA.

Posted by Scott Shepherd at 11:26 AM | Comments (0)

How the BCS Could Become a Nightmare

Scenario #1

Missouri (10-2 or 9-3) defeats an undefeated Texas Tech in the Big 12 conference championship

Problem created — Throughout the year, it has become apparent that the national championship game will likely be between the champion of the Big 12 and the SEC. Granted, Penn State the likely candidate for Big 10 championship and USC, the likely candidate for Pac 10 championship may have something to say about that at certain points during the year, but the Big 12 and SEC do seem stronger this season than any other conference. They also are two of the conferences that have conference championship games.

This creates a huge problem, especially in the Big 12, where even if Missouri won the Big 12 championship game, it most certainly would not be a candidate for the national title game. What's worse is that if there was no Big 12 title game, Missouri would get no consideration for a BCS bid whatsoever. The fact that they can take away a bid from say Texas or Oklahoma is not okay with me, but if they (or Kansas or Nebraska even) win the Big 12 title game, however unlikely, it would put them in a BCS game, no questions asked.

If you remember last year, Missouri lost the Big 12 title game to Oklahoma when a win would have put them in the BCS title game. The loss ruled them out of the BCS completely, while Ohio State didn't have a title game to play and was granted safe passage to the BCS title game. If Ohio State would have had a title game, it might have been against Illinois, who beat Ohio State toward the end of the season. The fact that Missouri lost two games to the same team and didn't even get into a BCS bowl game while Ohio State got into the BCS title game simply because their conference doesn't have a title game is completely unfair. I pray something similar does not happen again this year.

Solution — There needs to be continuity. Either every conference has a title game or none of them do, take your pick.

Scenario #2

Utah, Boise St. and Ball State all remain undefeated and through various strategic losses, end up ranked #6, #7, and #10, respectively, in the BCS

Problem created —Can you imagine a BCS lineup that looked like this?

Rose Bowl: USC (11-1) vs. Penn State (11-1)
Sugar Bowl: Utah (12-0) vs. Ball State (12-0)
Fiesta Bowl: Texas (11-1) vs. Boise State (12-0)
Orange Bowl: Florida State (10-3) vs. Pittsburgh (10-2)
BCS National Championship Game: Alabama (13-0) vs. Texas Tech (13-0)

You could switch that around a number of ways, but just imagine BCS with five undefeated teams and no Florida or Oklahoma. Florida State and Pittsburgh would be on the fringes of the top 25 in the BCS, but they would have automatic bids being conference champs of the ACC and Big East, respectively.

It simply goes against reason that Oklahoma, Florida, and even Ohio State can lose twice to very good teams (Texas, Texas Tech, Alabama, we'll let the Ole Miss game slide for Florida, USC, and Penn State) and be shrugged aside for Pittsburgh (losses to Bowling Green and Rutgers) and Florida State (losses to Wake Forest, Georgia Tech, and a predicted loss to Florida). In this scenario, every single one of the teams that Oklahoma, Florida, and Ohio State would lose to (excluding Ole Miss) would be in a BCS game, two of them in the championship. And they're getting shunned for a team that lost to Bowling Green, a team that is currently 5-5 in the Mid-American conference?

I understand how a playoff would cause problems and I like the Bowl games, but seriously, there needs to be a tougher rule on what conferences get automatic bids for BCS games. At this point in time, I'm willing to even say they should be rid of it altogether. Four (maybe five) teams from the Big 12 deserve to get in before any in the Big East or ACC. You could make the argument for three from the SEC and three from the Big 10, as well. I'd even go so far as to say three from the Mountain West.

I feel genuinely sorry for the bowl game(s) that get stuck with the winners of the Big East and ACC. They are simply getting a far worse caliber game than bowl games that draw any of the other conferences with automatic bids.

Solution — Stricter guidelines on automatic bids for conference champions.

Scenario #3

Everybody currently above Utah in the BCS (Alabama, Texas Tech, Penn State, Texas, USC, Oklahoma, Florida) loses at least one game (this is not impossible)

Problem(s) created — Alabama escaped LSU — that would have sent things in a crazy spiral already — but they pulled it off in overtime. They still have to face Mississippi State and Auburn and both those teams have nothing to lose. Alabama is going to have trouble in the SEC Championship Game, when they will likely face off with Florida.

Florida could also have problems winning out. The Gators still have to beat Steve Spurrier and the South Carolina Gamecocks next week and that will be no cake walk. Then there is at Florida State another great rivalry. Even if they escape from those two, Florida would still have to beat Alabama for the SEC title. While Florida does look pretty amazing right now, three of their final four games are very losable on the road to the BCS.

Texas Tech has been outstanding. They knocked off Texas in a thriller, knocked off Oklahoma State in a blowout, and they have to go to Oklahoma for their next game in two weeks. The extra week off will be helpful no doubt, but that is going to be a very difficult game to win. Winning that, however, would put them in the Big 12 Championship Game against (more than likely) Missouri and even if they lost that, they could very well be in the BCS title game. It's definitely a tough call.

Oklahoma has one of the tougher roads to the BCS title game. They'd need to knock off Texas Tech, a team that is as hot as anybody right now and win at Oklahoma State. If they did that, I'm not sure who would win a tie-breaker between Texas, Texas Tech, and Oklahoma, but if Oklahoma won, they'd have to face Missouri and that is never a guaranteed victory.

Texas seems to be the team with the easiest road to win out. They play at Kansas, no cakewalk, but very winnable and at home against Texas A&M. I don't know what scenario would get Texas into a Big 12 Championship Game (perhaps Texas Tech losing to Oklahoma and Oklahoma losing to Oklahoma State), but they could lose there, just like everybody else.

USC's biggest challenge was this past weekend and they prevailed against Cal. Still, at Stanford and at home against rival Notre Dame are very losable, especially with the spotlight on you.

Penn State already lost to Iowa and as I write this, I'm uncertain where they'll be placed in the BCS standings for this week, but even if they get placed ahead of Utah, they still have to defeat a very tough Michigan State team. The Big 10 and Pac-10 have huge advantages over the Big 12 and SEC in the fact that there are no conference championship games in the Big 10 or Pac-10. Penn State would not have to play an extra game against Ohio State or Michigan State. They would just be in, much like Ohio State was last year.

If all those teams were to miraculously lose, the BCS selection committee would be faced with a similar problem as last year: deciding between a myriad of two-loss teams or an undefeated Hawaii. This year (if they win out) Utah, will have at least two very big wins on their schedule, knocking off TCU this week and BYU. They would have a stronger argument for a national title bid than Hawaii did last year, whose only notable win was over Boise State.

It would seem unlikely that Florida or Alabama couldn't claim one of the two spots in the BCS title game, but if they both end with two losses, it would be a tough call. One would also expect somebody in the Big 12 to end with one loss and be a candidate for BCS champion, but that conference championship game against Missouri just seems to be standing in the way of reason. Would Texas, Texas Tech, or Oklahoma (all potentially with one loss and not even in the Big 12 title game) get a shot at the National Championship when they weren't even in their own conference championship? Could Missouri somehow sneak past all of the powerhouses in the Big 12 and claim a title bid for themselves?

What is unfortunately more likely is that Penn State or USC will slide right past the prospects of a conference championship game and be very able one-loss candidates.

Then you throw in an even bigger wrench of the scenario where if you pick say Florida at 11-1 and Utah at 12-0, how do you pick Utah, but not Boise State (if they go undefeated, as well), or for that matter, Ball State (if they also would go undefeated).?

Solution — There may be no solution to this problem. The only thing that could even be considered close to a solution would be a playoff, but that creates so many more problems I can't begin to cover them.

Posted by Andrew Jones at 11:21 AM | Comments (2)

November 7, 2008

Be Careful What You Wish For

With just a second left on the clock last Saturday night, Michael Crabtree ripped a Graham Harrell pass out of the air and the hearts out of Colt McCoy and the Texas Longhorns. He waltzed into the end zone after a broken tackle and a sideline tightrope act, setting off a (premature) field storming for the undefeated Red Raiders. Texas Tech had knocked the Longhorns from atop the BCS, all the way down into the rooting section for, of all teams, Oklahoma.

And after the game, I wondered one thing: how special would it have been if, even after Crabtree slipped out of the grasp of cornerback Curtis Brown to glide into the end zone, Texas was still firmly in playoff position? What if the Longhorns could just shrug and say, hey, whatever, it just means a slightly tougher first round game? What if they even would thank Texas Tech for keeping them out of a potentially pesky Big 12 title game that could result in injury or a bad loss later?

Like most angry mobs, playoff proponents haven't fully immersed themselves in that line of thinking. And before taking torches and pitchforks to the BCS's doorsteps, some introspection, while unlikely, might be an advisable course of action.

And with an 83-win team winning a World Series, the AFC's six-seed winning a Super Bowl, a 10th-ranked team winning an NCAA basketball title (not to mention that it was in a 64-team tournament), and a team with an RPI of 89 winning the College World Series in the last few years, what's wrong with a sport where the regular season, all of it, truly matters? Where fans cannot expect to emerge from a loss in good shape, where teams cannot throw out their worst performance like the lowest mark from an Olympic judge?

The call for a playoff has been resounding, and the disparagement of the BCS even more vitriolic. As I've said, the current system sets out to accomplish an impossible task: paring over 100 teams with disparate schedules down to two over 12 games. Of course there is the fact that the pre-BCS world had even more nebulous championships.

So where would we be this season? With a playoff? With a plus-one? Let's see what kind of drama would unfold (or wouldn't unfold) with a number of scenarios before breaking out the riot gear. And we begin with the one most people want: an eight-team playoff. (BCS rank in parenthesis.)

(And yes, insinuating that the powers-that-be would choose based on competitive forces and fairness is like saying the NFL is cracking down on rough hits based on concern for the health of players. College presidents will lean where they think the money is; NFL execs fine legal hits on skill players while not lifting a finger to protect linemen from cut blocks. But in the world of sportswriting, we get to live in silly utopian fantasy worlds, so just roll with it.)

Eight-team playoff: BCS conference champs auto-bid

Matchups if teams hold serve: Alabama (1) vs. West Virginia (25), Texas Tech (2) vs. North Carolina (19), Penn State (3) vs. USC (7), Texas (4) vs. Florida (5)

In an eight-team playoff, the loser of that Texas/Texas Tech shootout would not just be in the hunt, but in position to win out and be surprisingly safe. Alabama could also probably take a loss without sweating it. USC's loss to Oregon State and Florida's loss to Ole Miss become tax write-offs, no more damning to title hopes than a bad hair day. UNC lost to two teams from one state (UVA and VaTech) while West Virginia receives no punishment for non-conference losses to East Carolina and Colorado.

Sure, we get meaningful races in the Big East and ACC to be the hours doeuvres on a platter to reward the top two seeds, but really, how much national interest would there be for these games? Would it really be worth relegating the Bowl System to NIT status?

Obviously with this format, more teams remain in the hunt for longer, keeping fan interest in the national title chase alive for any team that could hope to supplant one of the eight. (That's a lot of teams.) But just as in any other sport, the cost of keeping teams alive is that early season games matter less and less. Are dozens of crucial games in September worth trading for watching an SEC or Big 12 champion squash the team holding the hot potato that is the ACC title?

Yet still, in every major conference except the SEC, at least three teams sit within a game of first with about four to play. Tons of games have title relevance, and flocks of teams have a shot with this scenario. Additionally, watching conference rivals lay eggs in non-conference games would no longer have to infuriate teams. Should USC be punished when UCLA gets embarrassed by BYU? When Oregon State somehow fails to show up at Beaver Stadium in Penn State? No, a team's destiny is in its hands. And want to win a national title? You better win a conference first.

Eight-team playoff: Straight seeding

Alabama (1) vs. Utah (8), Texas Tech (2) vs. USC (7), Penn State (3) vs. Oklahoma (6), Texas (4) vs. Florida (5)

Similar story in terms of bad losses netting minimal punishment. But at least now Oklahoma and Utah displace West Virginia and North Carolina, forcing conferences to provide a worthy champion to earn a berth. Should an undefeated, higher-ranked Utah really take a backseat to some flawed, multi-loss team when the Mountain West has been so strong this year?

Of course, this tournament starts to look like a Big 12/SEC invitational. And yes, with as few meaningful out of conference games as there are each year, it is tough to truly establish a conference pecking order. But let's face facts year. Are there really more than a few teams outside this season's Big Two that could realistically survive in them? So why shouldn't a playoff have the flexibility to account for that? The BCS rankings may be limited, but not to the point where, at year's end, it confuses the 19th best team for the eighth.

And the drama plays out for any team that sees a shot at No. 8. Oklahoma State, Boise State, Ohio State, TCU, Georgia, Missouri, BYU, and LSU all wait in line, hoping for that one impressive win, all while vigilantly looking up, becoming new fans of anyone facing the eight teams nesting in a playoff perch.

Still, top teams are not punished for losses. Flaws are acceptable, as long as your conference is good enough. Plus teams in the top four at this point are in many cases not even playing for their lives. Imagine Alabama hosting hated rival Auburn, knowing that even as the No. 1 team, a loss wouldn't knock them out of playoff position? Theoretically, teams could be motivated to rest players in late-season rivalry games if they were unlikely to drop out of the top eight with a loss. Texas moved from one to four this last week. Imagine if their game against rival Texas A&M were equally harmless instead? Sure, pride is an issue. So is Mack Brown's desire to win a second national title in four years.

Plus-one

Alabama vs. Texas, Texas Tech vs. Penn State

Those teams mentioned two paragraphs ago now become outsiders. Then again, who wants to see two-loss Ohio State, LSU, and Missouri back in the title race and given equal standing in a playoff to the teams that gave them those losses? Plus, while resume still matters in an eight-team tournament, it's much more likely that a soft schedule will get you at least a seven- or eight-seed: a veritable safety school of playoff applications. But with a plus-one, you better have a power win out of conference if you want to survive a down year by your conference. Not when the playoffs have fewer seats than a Ford Focus.

Fifth-ranked teams rarely have legitimate complaints with regard to national titles. Sure, they are likely to have a beef with the fourth-ranked squad. But that will happen wherever you put the cutoff for entry; ninth will beef with eighth, 33rd with the 32nd. And almost all the teams that won't be there and try pointing fingers can listen to the three pointing back at them. The best one-loss teams still have a shot but are guarunteed nothing. Texas is not safe after the loss to Tech. Say Florida runs the table in the SEC; a close win over 'Bama in the title game could in theory get both teams in.

In this scenario, the race for the Big 12 title would be life-or-death with regard to the title chase. Non-conference champions would really need pigs to fly and the fountain of youth to spring from Joe Paterno's naval to have a true shot. At the same time, teams like USC, Florida, and Oklahoma are all about one lucky break away from being back on the guest list.

Current BCS

Texas Tech vs. Alabama

No doubt that, again assuming Tech holds on to beat Oklahoma and win out, this is a deserving and intriguing game. That Red Raider aerial assault locked on against Alabama's vicious defense is an incredibly fascinating matchup. And don't get me wrong, I still like the BCS better than the bowls before the BCS. In any other sport, the best two teams in the country eventually square off in something other than a popularity contest or an election.

But this year the likely scenarios range from an undefeated Penn State sulking off to Pasadena instead of Miami, or another Big Ten team going against the winner from a superior conference.

Then again, should the Nittany Lions be punished for Ohio State's putrid showings against the SEC in the last two title games? They probably will be. I don't think analysts are breaking down the Big Ten and SEC differences based on the Michigan win over Florida in the Capital One Bowl last year.

In the current system, USC can start booking bus tickets for Pasadena, assuming the Trojans win out and assuming Oregon State doesn't (likely since the Beavers still have most of the top half of the conference left). An undefeated Penn State also needs help. And what have USC or Penn State done against each other? Nothing, other than that USC's showing against a ranked OSU was better, while PSU's showing against the OSU in the Pac-10 was better. Texas meanwhile needs its rival to create a tie for a division title it may still lose. Either way, the teams from this class that finish strong are clearly in the elite, and more than two of them will have a claim as one of the best two teams in the country.

So what does it all mean?

Other than the fact that sportswriters have far too much time on their hands? To me, it means that a plus-one is still the most effective, convenient, least earth-shattering way to get past the current BCS season. Bowls remain as valuable as they are, and you could either have semifinals at bowl time and a final a week later, or simply have national semifinals in December. (I would propose home games as rewards for the top two teams ... plus, how many fan bases can travel en masse to two neutral sites in one month?)

Some will disagree. They may not be as bothered as I am by the forgiveness of an eight-team playoff. And they might point out that there is still not a lot of margin for error when aiming for the top eight of 119. They have a point. There are some games that would be lost to irrelevance, but plenty of excitement at that 8-9 border.

And some will defend the BCS, arguing that ... aw, who am I kidding? Let's go grab those pitchforks and torches.

Posted by Kyle Jahner at 11:54 AM | Comments (2)

November 6, 2008

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 10

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Denver @ Cleveland (-3)

Football returns to the NFL Network for the fist time this year as the 3-5 Browns host the 4-4 Broncos on Thursday night. NFL fans can take comfort in the fact that Thursday night football will be around for the next seven weeks, and more comfort with the knowledge that Bryant Gumbel won't be anywhere near the broadcast booth. And while Thursday's contest won't pack the importance nor drama of the Broncos/Browns 1986 AFC Championship classic, Mike Shanahan knows it's a must win for Denver after three straight losses.

"I've certainly rethought my decision to cut Travis Henry," says Shanahan, "especially after our 12-rush, 14-yard performance against the Dolphins. That's barely getting back to the line of scrimmage. Sadly, in Travis' case, he doesn't respond well to 'imaginary' lines, but you show him a line he can see, smell, or snort, then he's golden. Of course, Travis lost my trust long ago, and his plead of 'not guilty' to cocaine charges further brings into question issues of trust and honesty. Not guilty? Jesus Christ. You've got Eric Clapton listed as a character witness. Come on, Travis. With you, 'conviction' is just as likely as 'conception.'"

Brady Quinn has been named starter for the Browns, replacing the erratic Derek Anderson, who threw an interception last week that the Ravens returned for a score, sealing their 37-27 win.

"I'd like to quote a Tom Petty and the Hearbreakers' song to describe this situation," says Quinn. "No, not 'You Got Lucky,' although that would certainly capture Anderson's 2007 Pro Bowl year and subsequent new contract. I'm referring to 'The Waiting is the Hardest Part.' That's describes my feelings perfectly. Whether sweating it out in the green room at the 2007 NFL draft or watching helplessly under a baseball cap this year, it's been difficult. I'm ready to go. We've got a solid group of receivers. Braylon Edwards may have a problem with drops, but Kellen Winslow definitely 'is catching.'"

The Dawg Pound is always a difficult place to play. Just ask the Browns; they're 1-3 there. But seriously, their one win came on a Monday night in prime time. Well, it's Thursday night in prime time, and the locals will be fired up. Denver has been shaky on the road, going 1-2 on the road. The Broncos are also 1-2 in road games settled by 14 or more points. They're also 1-0 in games settled by Ed Hochuli.

Jay Cutler, whose play lately has him referred to as "Elway-esque" only in France, is happy just to lead the Broncos on 'a' drive, and not necessarily 'The' Drive. Cutler takes to Broncos in for a score on their first drive. However, Quinn plays well, and the Browns overcome a late Ernest Byner goal-line fumble to win, 27-20.

Tennessee @ Chicago (-3)

The Titans remained the NFL's only undefeated team after pulling out a 19-16 overtime win over Green Bay last week. On Sunday, Tennessee will put that perfect record on the line in Chicago, which puts those ornery old codgers from the 1972 17-0 Dolphins team in the awkward position of pulling for the Bears. In 1985, the Dolphins ended the 12-0 Bears' hopes for an undefeated season.

"If those geezers want to put the champagne on ice," says Jeff Fisher, "then so be it. However, the only bubbles those old timers will be seeing this Sunday won't be from champagne, but from the tablet of Efferdent dissolving in their bedside glass of water. They might not have teeth, but we do. We plan to play our game, which is to establish the run with the combination of the hefty, food-loving LenDale White, and the shifty speed-merchant Chris Johnson, a duo I like to call 'Dine and Dash.' I'll have that copyrighted soon, as I will Vince Young's costume, which was a big hit on Halloween. It's called the 'Incredible Sulk.'"

The Bears lead the NFC North by one game, and to hold that lead, they'll have to pin a loss on the Titans with Rex Grossman at quarterback. Kyle Orton suffered an ankle injury last Sunday and is likely to miss Sunday's game.

"I guess it's time for me to utter those five words people have become accustomed to hearing," says Lovie Smith. "No, not 'Rex Grossman is our quarterback,' but 'Dear God, somebody help me!' I guess we'll be relying on our defense for this one."

Titans win, 22-13.

St. Louis @ NY Jets (-9)

After head coach Eric Mangini asked Brett Favre not to "take so many chances" after a 3-interception game two weeks ago, Favre mostly heeded that advice last Sunday. Favre threw only 1 interception, and although it was returned for a touchdown, he otherwise played flawlessly as the Jets upset the Bills, 26-17.

"Hey, Sarah Palin's not the only one that likes to go 'rogue,'" says Favre. "I also hear she likes to go 'commando' on occasion, often when blasting a moose while perched in a hovering helicopter. That's a campaign poster right there for the gun-toting, panty-less demographic. Myself, I'm not one to go 'commando,' especially since doing so in a pair of Wranglers will cause some serious chaffing. However, I've been known to go 'rogue' quite often, which is why I have 300 career interceptions, the most ever. Hey, a record is a record. I've been known to give up some easy sacks, or should I say 'sack?' But I'm also pretty darn generous with the errant passes."

Sunday's game against the Rams will mark Favre's 260th consecutive start, a mark perceived as amazing to most, and more so to St. Louis quarterback Marc Bulger.

"So, Favre's got a 'consecutive-start-to-interception ratio of approximately 2.6:3?" says Bulger. "I'm not impressed. But 260 consecutive games is something else. I'm lucky if I can make 260 plays, much less games. No one has ever made the mistake of calling me 'Iron Man,' except on Halloween, when I went as 'Iron Man (With Sore Ribs).' I was the only one in that costume. In the future, feel free to call me 'Iron Maiden,' 'Steel Magnolia,' or 'Iron Deficiency,' at your leisure."

Jets win, 26-20.

Green Bay @ Minnesota (-1)

The Vikings have charged back from an 0-2 start to the season and, at 4-4, are tied with the Packers for second place in the NFC North. The winner of Sunday's game could very well jump into a tie for the division lead, assuming the Bears lose to the undefeated Titans.

"I guess I've silenced those who were quick to say my job was on the chopping block," says Brad Childress. "Hopefully, I've proved, once and for all, that a man can look like the tenor in a barbershop quartet and still be an effective coach. That's assuming his two defensive tackles, who closely resemble The Weather Girls in size, remain on the field and aren't suspended for what is known in the Viking locker room as 'water-pill-aging.' And, that's also assuming our quarterback, Gus Frerotte, continues to make big plays while limiting his mistakes, and tempers his touchdown celebrations so as not to result in concussions."

The Packers signed quarterback Aaron Rodgers to a five-year contract extension last week that makes him the NFL's fourth-highest paid quarterback, behind Peyton Manning, Carson Palmer, and Ben Roethlisberger. Rodgers celebrated the extension by deciding to buy a Brett Favre jersey, then changing his mind.

"I tell you what," says Rodgers. "The Packers aren't afraid to lay the money on the table. They'll do whatever it takes to make this team better. Whether it's a $65 million offer to me to keep playing, or a $20 million offer to Brett Favre to stop playing, the Green Bay organization has it covered. Money talks, Favre walks, with a slight limp, I might add."

For 65 extra-large, I'm guessing the Packers expect Rodgers to "take them somewhere" in addition to the bank. An NFC North title would be a great start, and a rematch with the Giants in the cold of January would also be appreciated. A win in Minnesota is a start in that direction. After the Vikings take a 6-0 lead, Rodgers gets the Packer air assault in gear, throwing for two scores. Safety Atari Bigby, who's a real gamer, returns a Frerotte interception for a score. Green Bay wins, 30-23.

Baltimore @ Houston (-2)

When the Ravens face the Texans, number one on the Ravens' "to do" list is stopping Andre Johnson, the NFL's leading receiver. Johnson just had his streak of four straight 130-yard receiving games broken in Houston's 28-21 loss to the Vikings.

"Four straight 130-yard games?" says John Harbaugh. "What's the big deal? Our quarterback, Joe Flacco, did that in five straight games. Sure he's a quarterback, but in my ultra-conservative offense, that's saying something. Anyway, Joe fits in great with my philosophy. I think he may be one of the top two starting rookie quarterbacks in this league. What's that? There are only two rookie starting quarterbacks in the league? Well, then, you just verified my statement. Sure, Joe trails Matt Ryan in every major statistical category, including number of eyebrows, but I'll take Joe over Matt any day, except Sunday."

Houston's Matt Schaub injured his knee last week and is out 2-4 weeks, so backup Sage Rosenfels will see his first action since Week 5's loss to the Colts. In that game, three late Rosenfels turnovers allowed the Colts to turn a 27-10 deficit into a 31-27 win. Rosenfels will have to protect the ball better if the Texans are to overcome the rugged and opportunistic Baltimore defense.

"We plan to go after Rosenfels from the start," says Ray Lewis. "We here in Baltimore don't condone placing bounties on opposing players, and I normally don't wink this much. But rest assured, 'Sage' is on our 'grocery list,' and we like to hunt, I mean shop. As you may well know, 'Sage' goes great with pork, which is why Rosenfels has agreed to a candid interview with Tony Siragusa. It's always good to hear Siragusa's take on football, unless you're a football fan. Inevitably, the 'Goose' will plug his 'Retirement From Football' diet, in which he's given up the pigskin, but not the pork."

With the Giants and Eagles up next for the Ravens, a win over the Texans is imperative for Baltimore's playoff hopes. And the Ravens defense is like a 'wing man' to their offense — always putting them in position to score.

Rosenfels is sacked three times and intercepted twice. Baltimore wins, 23-16.

Jacksonville @ Detroit (+6½)

Could the Jaguars, picked by many in the preseason to represent the AFC in the playoffs, if not the Super Bowl, lose in consecutive weeks to two winless teams? Should Jacksonville fall to the 0-8 Lions, that will be the case. Last week, the Jags fell 21-19 to the winless Bengals, and surrendered two Chad Ocho Cinco touchdown catches.

"I pride myself on always keeping my team positive, no matter the circumstances," says Jack Del Rio. "Sure, you may say it's 'losing to two winless teams,' but I prefer to call it 'improving our draft position.' But, as we discovered last week, a winless team whose mascot is a feline is a dangerous being. However, we're not intimidated. A lion's roar in the jungle may be frightening, but a Lion's roar inside Ford Field barely registers on the fear meter. I've heard scarier stomachs growling. And just like a growling stomach, I've heard that you can toss a Snickers bar at the Lions and they'll quiet down."

The news in Detroit was a gigantic announcement of an addition to the roster. Daunte Culpepper? No way. I'm talking 'bout Allen Iverson joining the Pistons. What do Culpepper and Iverson have in common? Neither will do a thing to help the Lions win a game.

I don't know about you, but I'm pulling for the Jaguars to win. Three more losses and the Lions will be 0-11; assuming the Titans remain undefeated, then we'll have a great Thanksgiving Day matchup pitting the 0-11 Lions hosting the 11-0 Titans. Could be quite the turkey basting. Jaguars win, 25-20.

Seattle @ Miami (-9½)

Times are tough in Seattle. Injuries are mounting, and the Seahawks are last in the NFC West. In addition, a grueling cross-country flight to Miami looms for the Seahawks, where the red-hot Dolphins await.

"Matt Hasselbeck is still suffering the effects of 'dead leg syndrome,'" says Mike Holmgren. "That could be a problem on the flight to Miami, because, if I understand airport regulations correctly, a 'dead leg' has to be 'checked' and can't be 'carried on.' And, it's hard for Matt to get any kind of exercise with this 'dead leg' affliction. It seems that any time he tries to walk, he just goes in circles."

"And our receiving situation isn't any better. Deion Branch hasn't played in awhile. And by 'awhile,' I mean 'since winning the Super Bowl XXXIX most valuable player award.'"

The Dolphins are healthy and riding the crest of a two-game winning streak, which has placed them firmly in the hunt for the AFC East crown. The 'Fins are 4-2, and equally as important, are 2-1 in the division. Steady play by Chad Pennington and a reliable running game have boosted the offense, while linebacker Joey Porter, who leads the NFL with 11½ sacks, has anchored the defense. Last week, after Miami's 26-17 win in Denver, Porter called Denver wide receiver Brandon Marshall "soft."

"Hey, if I were a rapper, they'd call me 'Afrikka Bombastica," says Porter. "Look, I'm just trying to talk a little trash here. Besides sacking quarterbacks, that's really all I know how to do. If Marshall's got the guts to settle this mano y mano, then he should meet me at the only place suitable for such an encounter — the Superstars obstacle course. Bring it on, Brandon."

Miami wins, 24-13.

Buffalo @ New England (-4)

With a three-way tie atop the AFC East standings, and Miami only a game behind, the East title is up for grabs. In year's past, that hasn't always been the case, as the Patriots have often unofficially clinched the division sometime in November, with the official clinch coming soon thereafter. The Bills' lead has been nearly hunted to extinction, and their 4-0 start is quickly becoming a distant memory.

"Sure, I can say 'overrated,'" says Dick Jauron. "Just as easily as I can say 'overpaid.' The Bills sign me to a three-year extension, and look what happens — we lose our next two. Am I the man to lead this team to the Super Bowl? Am I the 'chosen one?' Can I handle the pressure? Calgon, take me away! Better yet, (Al) Cowlings, take me away!"

Get a hold of yourself, Dick!

The Patriots are 5-3, and while they're not dropping 50 points on numerous opponents like they were last year, they're doing plenty to stay in the division and playoff race.

"With Tom Brady out," says Bill Belichick, "I've found it necessary to rely less on players and more on game tape. I've never been one to pass on a good video tape, especially one passed to me under the table at a roadside greasy spoon by a mysterious stranger who looks a lot like a New England employee, video tape division. I'm not camera shy, but I am a camera shyster."

Can the Bills afford their third straight division loss? No, especially since they've sunk all of their money into Jauron's contract. Buffalo wins, 23-21.

New Orleans @ Atlanta (-1)

In the highly competitive NFC South, even the last-place team is dangerous, especially when that last place team is the Saints, and their quarterback is Drew Brees, who leads the NFL in passing. New Orleans will look to stay in the race with a win in Atlanta, where the youthful Falcons are 3-0 this year.

"I have to credit Mike Smith with his coaching job," says Sean Payton. "I haven't seen anyone work this well with kids since Mary Kay LeTourneau. Matt Ryan is the front-runner for rookie of the year, and he's gathering quite a fan base. The NFL Network's Marshall Faulk even said that Ryan is better than Peyton Manning was in his rookie year. When Manning heard that, it took more than just The Chicken to hold him back from going after Faulk."

The Saints and their top-ranked offense are putting up over 403 yards of total offense per game, and Drew Brees is still on pace to eclipse Dan Marino's single-season record for passing yardage.

"Hey, I just take what the defense gives me," says Brees. "No the opposition's defense, ours. They usually hand me a deficit to work with. But I'm happy to do whatever it takes to win. If I have to cover for defensive deficiencies by throwing nearly 40 times a game, then I'll do it. If the defense stinks, then I have to mask the smell, with the scent I call 'Fe-Brees.'"

NFC South teams don't lose at home. And the Falcons prove they can win a shootout. Atlanta wins, 31-29.

Carolina @ Oakland (+9)

The Panthers lead the NFC South with a 6-2 record, and with a bye week under their belts, Carolina should be well-rested for the long trip to Oakland, where the 2-6 Raiders and their unruly fans await.

"Hey, I much prefer two week breaks mandated by the league schedule," says Steve Smith, "as opposed to two week breaks mandated by my head coach. And it's unfortunate the Raiders released DeAngelo Hall before Sunday. I could have made him lose his mind as well as his job."

"We know going to Oakland is always a dangerous proposition, not necessarily for players, but for anyone affiliated with the opposition who dares trek into the 'Black Hole' or anywhere in the city, for that matter. That goes for our fans, but mostly for our cheerleaders, who in times past, have wandered into strange sports bars. In Oakland sports bar, more so than in other cities, like Tampa, there's even a greater chance of cheerleaders being 'eaten.'"

Last week, the Raiders were shutout at home 24-0 by the Falcons, and only managed 77 yards of total offense and three first downs. The Raiders have hit rock bottom, and the Falcon loss was a "black eye" for the "Black Hole."

"It's gotten so bad," says former Raiders and current dancing machine Warren Sapp, "that it's hard to watch. Even the raider on the Oakland helmet has resorted to wearing two eye patches. I'm not afraid to tell it like it is, nor am I afraid to trip the light fantastic, as many have seen on Dancing With the Stars, but the only way this franchise recovers is if Al is found 'sleeping with the fishes.'"

Everyone knows the Raiders are like an expired grocery coupon — they have no redeemable value. And the Raiders are stuck with Davis just like the morning newspaper is stuck to Lester Hayes' stickum-encrusted fingers.

Carolina wins, 27-9. Sebastian Janikowski misses a 79-yard field goal as time expires.

Kansas City @ San Diego (-14)

In most cases, a 3-5 record halfway into the season would leave a team with little hope for a playoff spot, much less a division title. Luckily for the Chargers, that's not the case. In the mediocre AFC West, the Bolts' 3-5 record has them only one game behind the 4-4 Broncos.

"This bye week has been great for us," says Norv Turner. "While we were sitting home, all of our AFC West counterparts took a loss. If we could just take the rest of the year off, we'd win this division easily. Unfortunately, this bye week wasn't so great for defensive coordinator Ted Cottrell. Sorry, Ted. The writing was on the wall. We had the 28th-worst defense in the league, and we had gone nine quarters without registering a sack. He should have seen this coming. Anyway, he could have looked at our schedule, which clearly stated that in Week 9 there would be a 'bye.' Well, so long."

Cottrell didn't contest the move, and wished his replacement, Ron Rivera, the best of luck. Cottrell did, however, change his name to "Colt Seavers," also known as television's "Fall Guy."

Last week in Kansas City, the Chiefs "played to win the game," but for only three quarters. KC carried a 24-13 lead over Tampa into the fourth quarter, but allowed the Bucs two touchdowns in the fourth, and eventually lost in overtime.

"You see, that's when a closer like Larry Johnson would come in handy," says Herman Edwards. "When you're protecting a lead, nothing kills the clock like three straight two-yard runs right slap into the middle of the defense."

With the West winner likely to finish 8-8, division wins are extremely important for tie-breaking purposes. Is that my analysis? No, that's Turner's pre-game motivational speech.

Chargers win, 31-20.

Indianapolis @ Pittsburgh (-2½)

The last time the Colts met the Steelers, Pittsburgh stunned the top-seeded Colts 21-18 in the AFC divisional playoffs at the RCA Dome on the way to the Steelers Super Bowl crown. While not nearly as much is on the line this Sunday, Pittsburgh has a one-game lead in the AFC North to protect, while the 4-4 Colts are desperate for some continuity to a season which has seen them above .500 for only one week.

"Although we lost," says Peyton Manning, "that game was a classic. I remember it well. Jerome Bettis' fumble, Ben Roethlisberger's tackle of Nick Harper, and Mike Vanderjagt's kick sailing wide right by the length of a zip code. Talk about an 'idiot kick-er' to the balls. I guess that's why they call him 'Canadian Missed.'"

"I know when I stare across the line of scrimmage at the Pittsburgh defense, I'll be engaged in a battle of wits with their defensive coordinator Dick LeBeau. Well, let me tell you something. Dick LeBeau doesn't scare me, nor does Pepe Le Pew, Simon LeBon, Greg LeMond, Jack LaLanne, or Shia LaBeouf. I tell you what does scare me. LaMarr Woodley, and his linebacker counterparts Larry Foote, James Farrior, and James Harrison. When I see a linebackers unit that good across from me, I might just LeFreak out."

The Steelers finally got a win over an NFC East team, vanquishing the Redskins 23-6, in a game marked by an injury to Roethlisberger and flawless, if not spectacular, relief by Byron Leftwich.

"Obviously, we don't select our quarterbacks based on nimble footwork," says Tomlin. "If Ben can go, then I've got a tough decision to make. Ben or Byron? And you know when I'm faced with a tough decision, I usually make the wrong one."

It's a classic battle. Manning and his audibles against a Pittsburgh defense intent on confusing him. Indy steers clear of the Steelers run defense by simply not running the ball, instead opting to pick on the Pittsburgh secondary.

Adam Vinatieri kicks the game-winner. Colts win, 22-19.

NY Giants @ Philadelphia (-3)

While the Cowboys and Redskins lick their wounds from their respective beatings at the hands of the Giants and Steelers, the Eagles and G-Men face off in a crucial NFC East matchup. While the Giants enjoy a two-game lead in the division, the Eagles can slice that lead in half with a win on Sunday night.

"Hey, we're doing Philly fans a favor by coming to town," says Brandon Jacobs. "What Eagles' fan hasn't been dying to say 'The world champs are in Philadelphia?' Well, we're here. And there's two things they can do about it — nothing and like it."

"We've been watching inspirational movies to get fired up for this one," says Vinnie, who, along with his partner Joey, forms one of Philly's most inept mobster duos. "You know like Rocky, Invincible, High School Musical 3, and Philadelphia. "

For the Eagles to have a chance, they'll need a big game from Brian Westbrook, who, when healthy, is a threat to go all the way, provided he doesn't decide to take a knee at the one. The Eagles will be fired up for this one, but don't you think the Giants will be as well? They're the defending Super Bowl champions, they're 7-1, and they're three-point underdogs?

New York wins, 26-21.

San Francisco @ Arizona (-10)

It's funny. I really can't see Hank Williams, Jr. and all of his rowdy friends hanging out in Arizona, but regardless of who shows up, Monday Night Football will feature the 49ers and new head coach Mike Singletary trying to stop Kurt Warner and the Cardinals potent offense.

"It's disappointing that Arizona senator John McCain failed to win the presidency," says Warner. "But that disappointment is offset somewhat by the fact that we'll have a president who can correctly pronounce the word 'nuclear.'"

"Anyway, this team is hitting on all cylinders. Things couldn't be better, although Matt Leinart may beg to differ. Oh no, it's got nothing to do with playing time. Matt's upset because he claims the makers of the movie Zack and Miri Make a Porno stole his idea. Matt had planned to make a movie called Matt and Myriad Girls Make a Porno. Once again, Matt plays 'second banana,' which also happens to be a film he's working on."

Speaking of "soft core," Singletary is making headlines in San Francisco, whether he's ordering Vernon Davis off the field in the middle of a game, or dropping his drawers in the locker room.

"Jim Varney once said 'Hey Vern, you're outta here,'" says Singletary. "I think that was in the movie Ernest Goes to the Locker Room in the Third Quarter. Honestly, though, I don't understand why dropping my pants caused such a stir. I even got a letter from Joe Buck that simply said 'That's disgusting!'"

The Cardinals don't exactly beat the pants off of the 49ers, but they do win 30-17 behind 276 yards and 2 touchdowns from Warner.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:53 AM | Comments (1)

Coaches vs. Cancer Classic Preview

Don't look now, but college basketball starts Monday.

Although the first full day of action won't be until Friday the 14th, the Coaches vs. Cancer tournament has the docket to themselves the first four days of the week, in what has become a tradition in the last few years on ESPNU.

The structure is similar to other large early season tournaments. Sixteen teams are split into four groups of four at a host school. Typically, the host school is much, much stronger than the other three teams in their bracket, virtually assuring that the semifinals and finals at Madison Square Garden will feature elite schools with big fan followings.

Gardner-Webb broke that trend last year when they upset Kentucky in Lexington to earn the trip to New York, where they bowed out in the semifinals to Connecticut. Curiously, the Huskies already had Gardner-Webb on their schedule for later, which means the two schools with little in common would face each other twice in the non-conference regular season (UConn won both).

This year, the organizers still give the hosts cupcakes for the first round, but in most cases, have amped up the potential matchups for the second game considerably.

The first game of the year (or to be exact, the second game of the year, but the first on TV) will be Duke hosting Presbyterian. This is just the second year in Division I for the Presbyterian Blue Hose, who would be smart to set a goal to keep the Duke victory margin to under 40.

The winner of that one will play the winner of Georgia Southern and Houston on Tuesday. Houston finished third in Conference USA last year and won 24 games. Duke cannot sleep on them, although Houston graduated a lot of firepower.

The biggest dud of a region, and the only one not covered by ESPNU, is the Southern Illinois region. This region has two good teams: the hosts and UMass, who made the NIT Championship Game last year. The other two teams are from Division II. One is the California of Pennsylvania Vulcans, who have a great logo, and the Arkansas-Monticello Boll Weevils. Be very afraid.

Michigan is the third host, and are easily the eighth most deserving Big Ten school to do so. They also face a Division II school in the first round, Michigan Tech, and that will be on ESPNU. I can't remember a Division II school being on national television (unless it was Chaminade or Alaska-Anchorage, but they don't count) for a regular season game before.

Michigan Tech is only a .500 team at that, but as an Ohio State fan, I'll watch, as Michigan sports these days are the schadenfreude gifts that keep on giving.

The other side of that bracket is a very intriguing one: Northeastern, from the tough Colonial League (the league that gave us George Mason, plus other good teams in recent years like VCU and Drexel), against IUPUI (Indiana U-Purdue U-Indianapolis). IUPUI won 26 games last year, but in one of the weakest Division I conferences: the Summit Conference.

The Summit Conference used to be known as the Mid-Continent Conference, and it holds a special place in my heart. Akron (my hometown school) used to compete in it, as did Cleveland State when they made their deep NCAA tourney run before they were stopped by David Robinson's Navy.

These are hard times for the Summit League, who have fallen behind not just the Big Ten and the MAC for midwest talent, but behind the Missouri Valley Conference and the Horizon League, who count several former Mid-Continent members among their ranks.

These days, the conference is dominated by Oral Roberts, but IUPUI is right behind.

The final bracket is probably the toughest: the UCLA bracket. The Bruins get Prairie View A&M as their sacrificial lamb, but the opposite game is Weber State, a scrappy Bracket Buster-esque type team who finished third in the Big Sky, and Miami of Ohio, a postseason mainstay a year removed from a MAC championship.

UCLA, like Duke, is a bit too strong to get knocked off in their brackets, but at least they were given opponents (for the second round) who stand a good chance of keeping the margin of victory to 10-15 and force them to play their starters throughout the game.

My college basketball picks:

First Round

Duke over Presbyterian
Houston over Georgia Southern
Southern Illinois over California of Pennsylvania
UMass over Arkansas-Monticello
Michigan over Michigan Tech
IUPUI over Northeastern
UCLA over Prairie View A&M
Miami (OH) over Weber State

Second Round

Duke over Houston
UMass over Southern Illinois
IUPUI over Michigan
UCLA over Miami (OH)

Semifinals

Duke over UMass
UCLA over IUPUI

Finals

Duke over UCLA

Also:

Cancer over Coaches (fortunately, Cancer loses in the Championship Game to Doctors)

Posted by Kevin Beane at 11:48 AM | Comments (0)

November 5, 2008

Is Kobe Going Greek?

For all you Lakers fans, there is one thing you should be cheering for this year: losses.

Huh?

Wait, what?

Yes, I said it. If you want the Lakers to have any chance of being successful in the next five years and not just this year, heed my words, use everything in your power — voodoo, power of suggestion, quantum physics, anything — but don't let the Lakers win the title.

If you live outside of Los Angeles, you probably haven't heard the rumors swirling. And when the economy went south, the rumors went from a swirl to a full-blown hurricane.

Most people are only aware of former Atlanta Hawk Josh Childress fleeing the NBA to play in Greece, but he wasn't the only one. Eleven players who were on NBA rosters last year went to the international game for no taxes and more money, and another, Brandon Jennings, ditched the college game for the same dollar signs.

Trust me, it won't stop there.

The international game has no salary cap, owners with deep pockets, and a stronger monetary presence. In August, LeBron James mentioned he would consider a $50 million a year deal. Just last month, there were rumblings Kobe Bryant was offered $83 million for three years. TAX FREE!

While you may say $50 million a year or $28 million a year seem a bit ridiculous, remember just last year that David Beckham signed a $250 million contract to play soccer in the United States. Imagine the publicity, and the mega-super-duper-stardom that would follow these two if either one of the jetted to play ball in Europe. We have already seen the popularity of Kobe in China, the hands-down most popular athlete in the Olympics. Throw in lucrative endorsements from both corporations here in America and overseas and an already profitable contract becomes downright impossible to turn down.

Of course, the NBA does not see a threat.

"I don't want to say it's much ado about nothing, but we think it's overblown a bit," said Joel Litvin, the NBA's president of league and basketball operations, in an ESPN interview over the summer.

"It's not something we're losing sleep over," he said.

This is where Laker fans come in.

The only way I see Kobe jetting for the beaches of Greece is if his work here is done. If Kobe wins a championship this season, what more does he have to prove? He will have won a title without Shaquille O'Neal. He will have picked up his fourth ring, solidifying him as one of the all-time greats. What more does he have to prove?

It's true Bryant is just 30-years-old, but he has logged over 1,000 games and is starting to show the wear and tear so many players feel after hitting that milestone. He does not have many more peak seasons left in him, and there is no telling how many more years the Lakers can keep this team together. More than likely, this is Lamar Odom's last year in Los Angeles. The Lakers just gave Bynum a four-year extension worth over $50 million. Pau Gasol will get the league maximum at the end of his contract and the bench will get dismantled because everyone overpays in the NBA.

But if the Lakers lose this year, forcing Bryant not to opt out of his contract at year's end, resigning the star for a long deal and holding him to his contract, the Lakers can win it all in 2009-2010. Then, who knows what the Lakers could do with what has proven to be a competent front office.

If you think it's illogical to believe a star player would bolt from the NBA to Europe, imagine what you would do if you were offered that much of a pay increase. Last season, Kobe made around $19.5 million dollars, so after taxes, he makes just under $13 million. If you were Kobe and you just won your fourth championship, your first without Shaq, silenced the critics who said you couldn't win a championship on your own, picked up your first NBA Finals MVP award, and saw the writing on the wall that the Lakers were close to having to rebuild (again), and had $28 million a year and a king's lifestyle waiting for you in Greece, what would you do?

I would be learning Greek right now.

When the Dream Team went to Barcelona, the game started to change. The international player got better and the American baller lost his fundamentals. Bryant's MVP was the first time an American had won the award in three years. It took the USA an Olympic bronze medal to humble us, and the NBA a high school exodus revolution to change who is allowed to enter the draft. Each time, we have moved too late, too arrogant to believe anyone could take our game away from us.

Well, friends, if the 11 NBA basketball players and the one blue-chip college athlete playing in Europe wasn't enough, what will it take to find out?

If the Lakers win the title this year, Kobe might just provide the evidence. And if he does, who could blame him? The NBA is not the same league it once was. The 2006 NBA Finals was a joke with questionable refereeing. The 2006-07 season brought us Tim Donaghy. And the 2008 offseason showed us what "showing the money" could do.

And for the greatest player in the NBA, it may just be all Greek to him.

Posted by Wailele Sallas at 11:38 AM | Comments (1)

The Phorever Men

"When you win," Geoff Jenkins said, in the middle of the party, "it's forever, man."

Forever is a word to which no few of this year's Philadelphia Phillies, and about as many of Phillies Phederation, attach individuated meaning no matter how ravenously they partied when they finally finished what they were pretty sure they started two days earlier, bumping the formerly feisty and suddenly modest Tampa Bay Rays to one side.

"Forever" was once the word applied to the marriage between "championship" and "Phillies baseball." It was also the word delivered as the answer to that once transcendent question, "How long before Philadelphia or the Phillies shake off 1964?"

"Forever" was just about what it seemed to have been between the birth of the franchise and its first World Series conquest, when perhaps the best third basemen ever to play the game — Mike Schmidt and his near-equal, George Brett — led their teams against each other, Schmidt came out just enough ahead of his contemporary to nail the Series MVP, and the Phillies inspired James Michener to wax doggerel.

Through the long dark years they stumbled
scarred with deep humiliations
but our cheering never crumbled
and we kept our expectations.
Yes, we loved them for their sillies---
who? The Phillies.

"Forever" should be just about long enough between that exercise and the next time Michener decides he has a poem in him.

"Forever" was just about the span some thought would be required for the Phillies and the Rays to finish Game 5, which in turn has inspired such nonsense as Buster Olney's suggestion that it's time for the World Series to be moved to neutral grounds. Poppycock. What it's time for is to restore the Series to its primacy and (hah! you thought I could go a full year without even hinting at it?) shorten up the postseason thus: best-of-three division series between the division winners who didn't have the best record in the league; the winner plays the division champ with the season's best record in a best-of-five League Championship Series; then, on to the seven-game Series. No more wild cards. Watch the television ratings grow again.

"Forever" may also have been the answer to the question, "When the hell are these teams going to quit turning baserunners into castaways?" Perhaps not quite to the level the Red Sox achieved in falling to the Rays, in the only postseason set to get past a fifth game this time around, but the Phillies and the Rays were mostly so inept at hitting with men on base at all, never mind in scoring position, that they made sometimes shaky pitching look almost Gibsonian. Just how did the Phillies manage a Game Four blowout?

But I digress. And that isn't fair to the Phillies. Not that much in their history has been fair to them. They don't have the long log of extraterrestrial, transcendental 11th-hour disaster that long enough dogged the Boston Red Sox, and they haven't exactly been as colorful in protracted life in the basements as the Chicago Cubs. And I don't know if anyone's discovered anything close to a particular curse that followed the Phillies for generations after generations, although for every cynical Phillies fan with a penchant for long, colourful, and imaginative insult there's been a cynical Philadelphia sportswriter with a comparable penchant for longer, more colorful, and more imaginative slander.

But I'm willing to bet that not even the longest dispirited Red Sox fan would have imagined a spare part who hadn't had a base hit in game competition in over a month would set a possible record for longest-delayed pinch hitting assignment in World Series history — and then shoot a double into the gap in right center to start Part Two of Game 5 and, it turned out, the Phillies' final march to the Promised Land.

And I'm willing to bet that not even the longest disgusted Cub fan would have imagined a relief pitcher, whose former infamy was sealed when he served one of the most monstrous home runs in postseason history, protracting a League Championship Series his own club had just about in the bank, putting an end to a World Series by throwing Eric Hinske a slider that vaporized Hinske's bat for strike three faster than Mitch Williams's meaty fastball flew into the upper deck in the bottom of the ninth a decade and a half earlier.

In between Jenkins' laser and Brad Lidge's Series-ending slide, all the Phillies had to do was shrug off Rocco Baldelli's game-tying bomb in the top of the seventh. (That it was the first gopher out of Ryan Madson's hole in six months was a mere technicality.) Chase Utley made sure they'd have a reasonable chance at that, when he backhanded Akinori Iwamura's chop up the pipe, faked to first, then bagged Jason Bartlett at the plate, Pat Burrell — who couldn't buy a hit from a Mafioso all Series long — drew up the insurance policy when he opened the Philadelphia eighth with a double off the left center field fence, and Pedro Feliz, with the Rays infield in enough to resemble a defensive line dangerously close to an offside penalty flag, shot one right through that line to send home Burrell.

"You can't feel yourself," Lidge said later, asked what prompted his unexpected stroll around the mound with another tying run aboard and the Rays down to their possible final strike of the season. "I honestly couldn't feel myself. It felt like the first time I ever pitched in a big league game. Your legs are heavy, and you have to take a big, deep breath just to be able to pitch."

The last time Lidge felt that way, in a comparable scenario, Albert Pujols made it feel almost like the last time he might pitch in a big league game. Had it not been for the bracings for the Minute Maid Park retractable roof, they'd still be wondering into which Houston sewer Pujols' surrealistic bomb would have plunged after hitting the streets behind the park bouncing.

And anyone who tells you there weren't even a few Phillies fans aware of that history aligned to the history their antiheroes wrote the last time the Phillies showed up in a World Series is lying.

Except that, yes, if the Red Sox could break their curses, actual or alleged, anything other than disaster was possible for even the disaster prone. And this time the Phillies had a little pre-insurance going in. As if you should really expect otherwise, considering, but these Phillies, this year's model, never once blew one when leading after eight. (Their record after the eighth: 93-0.) And this closer, this year's model, had forty-seven save opportunities and didn't blow a single one of them.

Even those of Phillie Phederation who couldn't forget 1993 finally shook that memory off the moment Lidge released the slider that buckled Hinske into that feeble, Series-ending swishout. And the next thing anyone in Citizens Bank Park knew, Lidge's slider had made dust of Hinske's bat, Lidge was hitting his knees half in celebration and half in monkey-off-the-back relief, and catcher Carlos Ruiz hustled up the pipe to embrace him down there.

Then came Ryan Howard atop them in a swan dive that might get him a second career as an Olympian should he ever lose whatever it is that helps him atone for his virtuoso strikeouts by way of his conversation-piece home runs, such as the pair he launched in Game 4. (Only who the hell needed him when the Phillies had Jumpin' Joe Blanton hitting the fourth pitch he saw from Edwin Jackson into the left field seats in the bottom of the fifth?) And the champagne pile-on was on.

Game ball? They gave Jamie Moyer, their grand old man, who once ditched school to make it to the 1980 World Series victory parade, and who pitched magnificently in Game 3 with a repertoire that couldn't have outrun an arthritic millipede, got the Series pitching rubber. Cole Hamels, who probably set a Series record for the longest no-decision, day(s), in the history of the classic, had to settle for Series MVP honors and becoming the first to bag consecutive MVPs in the same postseason.

Once upon a time, Phillies baseball meant something so futile that a particularly creative fan, taking a can of paint to a billboard sign in ancient Baker Bowl on which the team endorsed a newly popular deodorant soap, made it read thus: "The Phillies Use Lifebuoy! ... and they still stink!"

That was then. This was in the immediate moment after Hinske turned back to a dugout full of dispirited Rays, who had no reason at all to feel shamed for losing a World Series nobody including their own fans would have pictured them reaching when spring training opened, and after the Phillies began pouring onto the field to whoop it up: a particularly creative and sensitive Phillies fan whipping up a placard as fast as his hands could reach the skies with it:

GOOD NIGHT, JOE CARTER.

Bang the drum and toot the oboes,
dance until the earth has shaken.
Cheer, for our beloved hoboes
have at last brought home the bacon.
Garland them with timeless lilies!
Although they are a bunch of dillies
who still give honest men the willies
we still love them for their sillies----
hail! The Phillies.

Posted by Jeff Kallman at 11:15 AM | Comments (0)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 34

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson started seventh and immediately was faced with a tight-handling car. On lap 96, race leader Carl Edwards put Johnson a lap down, and the No. 48 car never returned to the lead lap. Johnson still finished 15th and now has a 106 point lead over Edwards in the Cup standings.

"Sure, 106 points can vanish in the stock market in two weeks," says Johnson. "Heck, it could be gone in two seconds. But this isn't the stock market, and unless Carl Edwards is Alan Greenspan, I don't see my 106 points going anywhere."

2. Carl Edwards — Edwards had the car to beat in Texas, leading 212 of 334 laps, but his victory hinged mostly on a bold four-tire pit stop and a gentle foot on the gas pedal near the race's end. With a huge lead, Edwards was able to slow considerably and conserve fuel, leading to his second straight win, which cut 77 points from Jimmie Johnson's points lead.

"I really looked stupid last week in Atlanta after winning the race and not realizing that Johnson was right behind me," says Edwards. "I looked stupid in Texas, too. Not because I didn't know where Jimmie was; I just looked stupid in a cowboy hat and racing suit."

"Now, was it me, or did it look like Jimmie got more air time despite the fact that he was a lap down and I was leading the race? Sounds like 'race-ial' discrimination to me."

3. Greg Biffle — Biffle finished third in the Dickies 500, gaining 45 points on Jimmie Johnson, who finished 15th. Biffle was forced to pit for fuel on lap 322, while eventual race-winner Carl Edwards stayed out. After the race, Biffle was mystified as to why the No. 99 car was able to get such better mileage.

"Carl went eight more laps than I did on a tank of fuel," says Biffle. "Unless he's Fred Flintstone, or that team has really done some new, amazing things with an oil lid, then I'm totally baffled."

4. Jeff Gordon — Gordon won the pole for the Dickies 500, but his time out front was fleeting as the handling on the No. 24 DuPont Chevy quickly deteriorated. Gordon fell a lap down on lap 213, but received the "Lucky Dog" free pass when David Gilliland wrecked Juan Montoya. From there, Gordon shrewdly conserved fuel and, like race winner Carl Edwards, was able to go the distance. Gordon's second place finished gained him one spot in the standings to fifth, where he trails Jimmie Johnson by 255.

"As opposed to his choking incident with Carl Edwards," says Gordon, "I guess you could say Edwards was 'easier on the throttle' this time."

5. Clint Bowyer — Bowyer powered his way to a fourth in Texas, leading 36 laps to claim his sixth top-five finish of the year. He is now sixth in the Sprint Cup point standings, and trails Jimmie Johnson by 267 points.

"I've got two more races in the Jack Daniels car before I move to the No. 33 car next year," says Bowyer. "Hopefully, I'll be able to lead a lap in Phoenix or Homestead, and give announcers one final chance to say 'liquor in the front.' Even better, if I'm leading and Carl Edwards is in last, they can say 'Liquor in the front, choker in the back.'"

6. Jeff Burton — A loose No. 31 AT&T Chevy left Burton no choice but to try and grind out a respectable finish on the fast Texas Motor Speedway track. With Jimmie Johnson facing early troubles, it looked like Burton could make up significant ground on the points leader. However, Burton's finish of 13th was only two better than Johnson's 15th, and Burton trimmed only six points from Johnson's lead.

"While Carl's been back flipping," says Burton, "I've been back 'sliding.' While 212 points is a lot to make up in two races, we remain confident. We never say 'never,' although I just said it twice."

7. Kevin Harvick — Harvick battled a loose-handling car in Texas, and despite numerous adjustments, never found a setup that firmly gripped the TMS track. He finished a solid seventh, yet dropped two places in the point standings to seventh, where he trails Jimmie Johnson by 279.

"Edwards has been on a tear lately," says Harvick. "I know what he's thinking — he should choke me more often."

8. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth battled loose handling conditions all day, but fought his way to a ninth in Texas, as Roush Fenway Racing placed all five cars in the top 11. Kenseth gained one spot in the point standings and is now eighth, 393 out of first.

"It's the strangest thing," says Kenseth. "Every week, we're fighting an uphill battle, but we always seem to end up going downhill. That defies the laws of physics, as does one Roush car getting way better mileage than the other cars in the garage."

9. Kyle Busch — After winning his 10th Nationwide race of the year on Saturday, Busch finished a solid sixth in the Dickies 500, which moved him up two spots in the point standings to 10h. He is 428 out of first.

"That's a fifth and a sixth in my last two races," says Busch. "I'm on a hot streak. I fondly recall a time earlier in this year when those results would have been considered a slump for me."

10. Tony Stewart — Stewart blew a tire in Saturday's first practice session, forcing him to start at the back of the field in his backup car. Stewart made up ground early in the race, but got no higher than 16th, where he eventually finished, one lap down. He fell one place in the points to ninth, 404 out of first.

"It wasn't my best day in Texas," says Stewart. "But some of my greatest triumphs have come in Texas. Some took place on the track, but most took place in my hauler. Just like all of George Strait's exes living in Texas, most of my 'Xs' were in Texas."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:03 AM | Comments (0)

November 4, 2008

NFL Week 9 Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* If you are registered to vote in the United States, and haven't already, please make sure to vote today, Tuesday, November 4.

* How about a round of applause for the league's new head coaches? John Harbaugh (BAL), Mike Smith (ATL), Tony Sparano (MIA), and Jim Zorn (WAS) are all on the radar for Coach of the Year.

* Tennessee's wide receivers looked terrible against Green Bay. Tight end Bo Scaife looked like an all-pro.

* Mike Holmgren is bush league. Why did he call a timeout, losing by 19 points, with three seconds left in the game? That's petty and classless.

* Okay, it's time to stop saying "trickeration" instead of trickery. Funny/clever once in a while, wrong on several levels if you use it every week.

***

The Pro Football Hall of Fame released its list of 2009 nominees last week, and it's full of deserving names. This year's incoming class is particularly strong, including Brian Mitchell, John Randle, Shannon Sharpe, Bruce Smith, Darren Woodson, and Rod Woodson. Sharpe, Smith, and Rod Woodson should all be locks, though it's possible that Sharpe might not get in right away.

The next step is to narrow the initial list of 133 nominees to 25. My personal choices (not predictions) to advance are: Ken Anderson, Terrell Davis, Brian Mitchell, Cris Carter, Mark Bavaro, Todd Christensen, Shannon Sharpe, Dermontti Dawson, Russ Grimm, Bob Kuechenberg, Randall McDaniel, Chris Doleman, John Randle, Bruce Smith, Robert Brazile, Kevin Greene, Steve Atwater, Kenny Easley, Lester Hayes, Rod Woodson, Steve Tasker, Don Coryell, Clark Shaughnessy, Ed Sabol, and Paul Tagliabue.

That leaves off some deserving names, but like I said, it's a strong class. Anyway, let's move on to the power rankings. Brackets show last week's rank.

1. Tennessee Titans [1] — I did not like the way Jeff Fisher coached on Sunday. Right before halftime, he knelt instead of trying a 63-yard field goal, and I think it hurt his team's confidence heading into the second half. At the end of regulation, with his offense moving the ball easily, Fisher let time run out to try a 47-yard kick, which the Titans missed. Even the winning kick in overtime represented a conservative, loser's mentality, kicking a 41-yard field goal on third-and-short when his offense was moving the ball at will.

2. New York Giants [2] — It's time to show some love for the defense: the Giants' defense ranks third in yards and fourth in points. They're second in pass defense, second in sacks, fourth in opponents' passer rating, and fifth in interceptions. The Giants' run defense ranks seventh in yards and 11th in average. This team is really hard to throw against.

3. Pittsburgh Steelers [3] — How good is Ben Roethlisberger, really? On Monday night, Pittsburgh's offense caught fire when Byron Leftwich replaced an injured Big Ben. Two years ago, Charlie Batch outperformed Roethlisberger. Do the Steelers have the best backups in the NFL, or is this about team and scheme, giving the QB the tools to succeed?

4. Carolina Panthers [4] — Had a bye this week, but I'll bet you a quarter that they're 8-2 a couple of weeks from now.

5. Philadelphia Eagles [5] — On their first defensive play, the Eagles allowed a 90-yard TD pass. I think it shows pretty impressive resilience that for the whole rest of the game, they only allowed 143 yards and forced 11 straight punts.

6. Arizona Cardinals [8] — With Kurt Warner winning in St. Louis this week, it's hard not to think back to the Greatest Show on Turf. Once again, Warner is throwing to great wide receivers and putting up MVP-type numbers, while Arizona's defense is good enough not to give the game away. The missing ingredient is Marshall Faulk, but on Sunday, the team turned in its best rushing performance of the year (30 carries, 179 yards, 6.0 average). If the Cardinals can run like that for the rest of the season — which is a big if — they will be a very real Super Bowl contender.

7. Washington Redskins [6] — Against Pittsburgh, Jason Campbell had 51 pass plays and Clinton Portis had 13 carries. That's not how this team wins. Campbell, as efficient as he has been for most of this season, hasn't produced big plays, and Washington has settled for a lot of field goals when they should have been scoring touchdowns. They need Ladell Betts back, they need to commit to the run, and they need to get Santana Moss 5-10 catches every game.

8. Green Bay Packers [12] — Got two defensive starters back from injury this week, and nearly pulled an upset on the Titans. Green Bay's defense has the best mark in the NFL for opponents' passer rating (59.9). What they need to shore up is the run defense.

9. New Orleans Saints [10] — Key game at Atlanta in Week 10. The Saints are 0-3 on the road, but they need this win to stay competitive in the NFC South. If they lose, they're two games back of everyone else in the division.

10. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [7] — Is it more impressive that they came back from a 14-point deficit to win, or more disappointing that they fell behind by 14 against Kansas City? Tampa's running game has fallen apart, going three straight games under 100 yards on the ground. They won't beat good teams with Jeff Garcia throwing 40 passes a game.

11. Atlanta Falcons [13] — Dominated the Raiders about as thoroughly as possible at the NFL level. Atlanta had a 30-3 edge in first downs and controlled time of possession for an amazing 45:15, more than 3/4 of the game.

12. Baltimore Ravens [15] — Went on a 24-0 run after falling behind 27-13. The Ravens have won three in a row heading into their re-scheduled matchup with Houston. The game is a must-win for Baltimore, because their remaining schedule includes Pittsburgh and the entire NFC East.

13. Indianapolis Colts [19] — The Colts, the Patriots, and Bill Carollo's officiating crew have my gratitude for a quick, 2:41 game on Sunday night. Bob Sanders' return makes Indianapolis a team to be reckoned with in the AFC wild card race.

14. Chicago Bears [11] — There are conflicting reports on Kyle Orton's ankle injury, but most agree that he'll miss about a month, and Chicago's playoff hopes could wither in his absence. After a home game against the 8-0 Titans in Week 10, the Bears have three straight road games. A 1-3 record in that stretch would drop the Bears to 6-6, and I don't think anyone is making the NFC playoffs at worse than 10-6.

15. Miami Dolphins [24] — Yes, I have Miami as the top team in the AFC East. After an 0-2 start, the Dolphins have gone 4-2, with wins over the Patriots, Chargers, Bills, and Broncos. In the last year, this team went 1-15, then traded away its best player (Jason Taylor), and now is 4-4 and continuing to show improvement. Much respect to Tony Sparano and Godfather Parcells.

16. Cleveland Browns [16] — Special teams kept them in the game. Josh Cribbs broke a 32-yard punt return and a 92-yard kickoff return for a TD, while Phil Dawson nailed a season-long 54-yard field goal to tie the game at halftime. Cleveland has really struggled in the running game, and Braylon Edwards is dropping an appalling number of passes. I don't know how the move to Brady Quinn will play out, but maybe it can at least get the team's attention.

17. New England Patriots [18] — Normally, I don't question Bill Belichick's coaching, but I think he was too aggressive on Sunday night. His challenge seeking a 12 men on the field penalty was particularly questionable. Not only did he lose the challenge and cost his team an important timeout, but even if the challenge had succeeded, it was a 5-yard penalty with no special consequences. Not worth it.

18. Buffalo Bills [9] — Three losses in the last four games, only one of them against a good team (Arizona, in a 41-17 blowout). I think the Bills have been overrated because they beat teams we thought were good (Seattle, Jacksonville, San Diego), but who have turned out not to be. They haven't beaten anyone with a winning record.

19. Dallas Cowboys [14] — They have lost two of the three games since Tony Romo's injury. But they also lost two of their last three games with Tony Romo. I'm not denying that Brad Johnson and Brooks Bollinger have played poorly — neither one looks like he should be directing an NFL offense right now. But the Cowboys' problems are a lot bigger than the quarterback, and they're not going to be a great team when Romo returns.

20. San Diego Chargers [20] — The AFC West is there for the taking. In fact, all serious NFL fans should pray that the Chargers get their act together and win the division so we don't have to watch the Broncos lose another playoff game by 40 points.

21. New York Jets [26] — In six trips to the red zone this week, the Jets scored only one touchdown. The team won with defense this week, netting five sacks and four turnovers. The Jets are third in the NFL in sacks this season (29), trailing only the Steelers (32) and Giants (30). They should probably be ranked higher than this. A home win over St. Louis on Sunday would make them 6-3, and that'll get them into the top half of the rankings.

22. Minnesota Vikings [23] — This is how the Vikings wanted to play this season. They had a terrific defensive game, shutting down the run as always, but also getting a fearsome pass rush led by offseason acquisition Jared Allen. On offense, they ran the ball almost twice as often as they passed, getting another big day out of Adrian Peterson. Allen's health is a question, though, and he may not play in Week 10.

23. Houston Texans [21] — Matt Schaub's torn MCL will probably sideline him for at least four games. Backup Sage Rosenfels is a capable replacement, but he'll have a daunting task this week against Baltimore. The good news is that the game is in Houston; the Texans are 0-4 on the road.

24. Jacksonville Jaguars [17] — Twelve penalties for 86 yards in their loss to Cincinnati, including the ejection of DT John Henderson in the third quarter. We all know about their disappointing defense and failure to run the ball. Teams like Jacksonville need solid defense and a great running game, but they also need to avoid mistakes, and the penalties are indicative of a larger breakdown that is occurring here.

25. Denver Broncos [22] — Allow me to present a partial list of what is wrong. Denver is a league-worst -11 in turnovers. On Sunday, they had 10 penalties and the Dolphins had two. The Broncos' leading rusher in that game had 7 yards. Seriously. And as Tom Jackson put it, Jay Cutler is "regressing." There are a lot of problems here, and right now, this is a pretty bad team.

26. St. Louis Rams [25] — Got outscored 31-0 in the second and third quarters. After they allowed 510 yards against Arizona, I think it's clear that the Rams, whatever boost they got from Jim Haslett, are still playing with the same guys who opened the season 0-4.

27. Seattle Seahawks [27] — The worst passing team in the NFL. Seattle is last in passing yards and passer rating. Yes, they're worse than the Raiders at passing.

28. Oakland Raiders [28] — On Sunday, the offense only gained 77 yards. They had twice as many punts as first downs and more penalties than completed passes. JaMarcus Russell's completion percentage has dropped to 48.6.

29. San Francisco 49ers [29] — Look, obviously Mike Singletary is a fiery guy, and some of his decisions last week were pretty interesting. But I don't think ESPN and NFL Network need 24-hour-a-day Singletary panels to debate his actions and replay his postgame rant. Let it go.

30. Kansas City Chiefs [30] — Finished +3 in turnovers and still lost. Kansas City is actually +7 this year, third-best in the NFL. They really miss injured punter Dustin Colquitt. Replacement Steve Weatherford probably cost them 60 yards of field position on Sunday. That could have been the difference in a game that went to overtime.

31. Cincinnati Bengals [32] — Picked up their first win of the season with solid defense and a good running game. The unlikely hero was Cedric Benson, who had the third 100-yard rushing game of his career. Ryan Fitzpatrick, filling in for the injured Carson Palmer, had three rushes of more than 10 yards.

32. Detroit Lions [31] — Sorry, I'm not writing about the Lions this week. I feel really sorry for this team, and I'm not going to get all sad by dwelling on it.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 11:54 AM | Comments (0)

November 3, 2008

In the Rotation: NBA Week 1

The first week of the NBA season, basically the first half of the season, needs to be taken with a grain of salt. It's entertaining, competitive, and a good time to evaluate what's what around the league, but nothing that happens is going to be earth-shattering. Good teams will start slow (San Antonio), bad teams will start fast (too early to tell who just yet), and everyone will settle into their roles heading into the stretch.

At least a half a dozen or more teams will be drastically changed throughout the course of the season, meaning what you see now isn't always what you get come playoff time.

Nonetheless, today and every Monday throughout the season we'll put together an NBA team worth of top stories from around the league.

Starting Five

1. Los Angeles Lakers

There's good news and bad news in Lakerland right now. The good news: the Lakers are 3-0 with an average margin of victory of 21.6 points per game. The bad news: all those M-V-P chants will be going to waste because it looks like Kobe only needs to play about two and a half quarters per game on this team. It'll be good for 60+ wins, but it's not the recipe for back-to-back MVP awards.

Other than that, you couldn't ask for a better start for the Lakers. Kobe has been Kobe. Andrew Bynum has played well in his return from a knee injury. Pau Gasol has thrived back at power forward, where his game is best suited. And Trevor Ariza is the one player who I can guarantee you'll watch this year and think, "Wow, I didn't know he was that good."

Sure, being the best team in the league at this point of the season translates to a title about as often as "You may already be a winner!" translates to early retirement, but you only get one chance to make a first impression. The Lakers didn't just make a first impression, they made an opening statement: They're ready to play.

2. Chris Paul and the Hornets

Notice that it wasn't "Kobe and the Lakers" earlier, but it's "Chris Paul and the Hornets" this time around. That's because the Lakers are the deepest team in the league right now, and the Hornets are only going to go as far as Paul can take them. And that isn't a slight in any way.

Paul was nothing short of spectacular in the Hornets three wins this week, going over 20-10 in points and assists in each of the Hornets' first three games. If the Hornets are in fact going as far as Paul takes them, they should be prepared for a long season. He could be entering "all-time great" status already, with his 50% field goal percentage nearly as impressive as his league leading 12 assists per game, with his teammates, coaches, and fans reaping the benefits.

3. Detroit Pistons

I'll never understand why some people still underestimate this team. You wouldn't have to look far to find some preseason predictions that have teams like Cleveland, Orlando, Toronto, or even Philly picked ahead of Detroit in the East.

Those teams are all young, inexperienced, unfamiliar with each other, or some combination of the three, and still trying to find their groove. The Pistons, meanwhile, just quietly take care of business racking up 50 win seasons, division titles, and conference championship appearances like they are going out of style.

Who cares if it's practically the same team year after year, they're really good. They won 59 games last year and returned basically the same exact team. The idea behind that is brilliant in its simplicity. You don't have to like the way they play, but you have to give them credit where credit is due.

Teams like Dallas and Phoenix are busy overhauling their rosters every two years like a college program, despite the fact that they have good teams to begin with, and have little to no success in the long run to show for it. Meanwhile, teams like San Antonio and Detroit keep their "boring" (or "great", depending on your level of basic basketball comprehension) core of players together and have exponentially more success to their credit.

This 2-0 start for the Pistons is nothing but business as usual in Detroit, and a sign of things to come for this team.

4. Houston Rockets

Everything is going to plan in Houston so far. Ron Artest has played well, Yao and Tracy McGrady have shared the load well, and the Rockets have gotten off to a hot start.

It's easy to like this team; they have more talent on their roster than any other team except possibly Boston and L.A. They are supposed to win games, and as long as they stay healthy they will.

Now's not the time to bring up the inevitable injury woes this team will face, but to enjoy watching every Rockets game you can with the big three playing and healthy. Three games played at a high level isn't enough to convince me that the Rockets are for real, but it's enough to admit that if everything works out well this team is a legitimate threat out West.

5. Derrick Rose

I have to admit, I thought Michael Beasley was going to be the best player in this draft class. He still might be, after all we're three games into a head to head comparison that will last for about a decade, but after watching both of their debuts I'll say that Rose is head and shoulders better than Beasley (or any other rookie for that matter) right now.

He's lightning quick with the ball, yet never gets out of control. He can finish around the rim, which is a major bonus because it allows him to score even though he doesn't look confident in his jump shot at all. His assist numbers will come once he gains more familiarity with his teammates, giving him the potential to be the first stud rookie point guard drafted since Chris Paul and Deron Williams in 2005.

In the Rotation

Atlanta Hawks

If they can develop any sort of consistency, the Hawks certainly look like they have a real chance to make some noise in the Eastern Conference. Already this year, they have blown a 20-point lead and overcome a 20-point deficit. Either way, both games have been victories and they remain one of only seven unbeaten teams in the league.

They may not have the depth (at least not yet) that good playoff teams have, but their starting five is as solid as just about any team in the league. Joe Johnson and Josh Smith have evolved into borderline superstars, and Mike Bibby is playing for one last big contract, which never hurts.

They'll be tested this week with tough matchups against other unbeatens New Orleans and Toronto, but look for the Hawks to come out fighting as they try to prove that they belong in the discussion of top Eastern Conference Teams.

Guys With Goofy Hair

Teams are absolutely missing the boat if they don't have a bench player on their roster with a wild hairdo. It's practically guaranteed that this player will be the most popular among the fans and will whip the crowd into a frenzy with a couple of hustle plays off the bench. Keeping home court advantage alive while the starters rest could be good for as many as two or three victories a year, and yet some teams allow this resource to go untapped.

Chris Wilcox is probably twice the player that Ben Wallace is (funny how leaving a team of all-stars will reveal a player's warts), but Big Ben was a folk hero in Detroit while Wilcox toils in obscurity all because Wallace rocked the afro for a few years.

When I'm given control of an NBA team, I'm going to make it a rule that my eighth man has to have a perm, and reap the benefits of a few extra home wins because of it.

Buried on the Bench

Portland Trail Blazers, Philadelphia 76ers

Both of these teams had lofty expectations coming into this season, and neither has impressed so far. Portland has a team that finished .500 last season, and was only supposed to improve with the addition of baby-faced rookie Greg Oden. Instead, the Blazers have lost Oden, most likely for the first month of the season, face a brutal stretch of games to start out, and seem like they are completely out of sync as a team despite not losing anything from their core a year ago.

Likewise, Philly has high hopes coming into this season after making the biggest splash in free agency by adding Elton Brand, only to find out what they should have learned from his time with the Clippers: he's not good enough to be the best player on a good team. Brand can either be the best player on a bad team or he can be a big contributor to a good team, but it's going to become more evident as the season goes on that he can't be both.

Both of these teams were big disappointments in week one, and look like the early favorites to be the teams most overvalued in the preseason.

Inactive List

Andrew Bynum

It usually takes terrible play or an injury to be made inactive in the NBA. Here, it just takes poor decision-making.

I'm going to go out on a limb and call this a poor decision.

Honestly, I can't decide whether I want this to be the first or last time I get to link to a seven-footer throwing wads money off a balcony. Luckily, it's a long season, and I'll have plenty of time to decide.

Either way, congratulations to Andrew Bynum for being the first of many players to make the "inactive list" for his stellar off-the-court performance.

Be sure to check back at Sports Central every Monday to see who cracks Scott Shepherd's rotation as he breaks down what is going on around the NBA.

Posted by Scott Shepherd at 11:50 AM | Comments (1)

Ballot Bias

It's election season again, college football voters, so let me make a plea to your reasonable sides. When you fill out your ballots, don't just look for those familiar names. Take a few minutes and think about what each candidate has done to deserve your vote. It's not time to worry about red states and blue states, but rather to be color blind and make the best decision possible. Barack Obama and John McCain? No way — I'm talking about the BCS polls.

When the BCS was first charged with determining the two teams deserving of national championship berths, it was comprised of many components. However, as controversy was blindly pinned to the system like a tail on a donkey, those components were gradually stripped away. Today's system is a glorified lowest-common-denominator consensus of the "computer" polls and the "human" polls. Gone are the quality win points, the penalties for losses, and most of the other objective measures. And while many superficial critics of the BCS harp on the vagaries of the "computer" element, I think it's time to take a tougher look at the rarely questioned Coaches' and Harris Polls.

First, it's a joke to pretend that either group can take a large-scale snapshot of the college football landscape. There are 119 Division 1-A (yeah, yeah, FBS) teams this season, and Western Kentucky will make it an even 10 dozen next season. That's not a landscape; that's a latitude line. Am I supposed to believe individual media members, let alone very busy coaches, are able to keep tabs on that many teams?

But let's just pretend, in the name of keeping this column going, that each coach or Harris Poll panelist does his due diligence and reads box scores, calls local media members, and splurges on the extended satellite TV package. Let's compare some of the pollsters' work from their latest submission. I've used the November 2nd Coaches' rankings for two mystery teams below, extending their opponents' rankings into the unofficial "others receiving votes."

Team A

Record: 9-0

Games Against Teams Getting Votes in Coaches' Poll:
7-point victory over Coaches' No. 12 team
31-point victory over Coaches' No. 31 team
14-point victory over Coaches' No. 33 team

Team B

Record: 9-0

Games Against Teams Getting Votes in Coaches' Poll:
6-point victory over Coaches' No. 7 team
42-point victory over Coaches' No. 26 team

Admittedly, this analysis focuses solely on the big games these two squads played. However, given that each escaped mostly unchallenged from the rest of its schedule, it seems reasonable to say that Team B has posted a slightly more impressive resume. And the computer polls agree with this assessment; in Sunday's latest BCS rankings, Team B was tied for the top ranking in the computers, while Team A was fourth. However, both sets of human pollsters did not see it that way. They had Team B third in each poll, with Team A second. Sure, the resumes are similar, but what set Team A apart for the human voters?

And now the big reveal: as I'm sure most of you divined by this point, Team A is Penn State and Team B is Texas Tech. This is the major bias that creates discord between the computer element and the human polls. To the pollsters, Penn State was slotted behind Alabama and well ahead of Texas Tech going into their bye on Saturday. To them, why should they be bypassed without playing?

Not convinced? Let's try another. Here are two more mystery teams and their resumes, as judged by the Harris Poll this time.

Team C

Record: 7-1

Games Against Teams Getting Votes in Harris Poll:
45-point victory over HP No. 39
32-point victory over HP No. 11
6-point loss to HP No. 38
34-point victory over HP No. 32
7-point victory over HP No. 37

Team D

Record: 8-1

Games Against Teams Getting Votes in Harris Poll:
10-point victory over HP No. 5
25-point victory over HP No. 13
4-point victory over HP No. 8
6-point loss to HP No. 3

While Team C could point to its somewhat more impressive margins of victory in these games, Team D clearly proved more by winning against higher ranked teams. Team C's schedule has had one more "big" game than Team D's, but that difference seems more-than-eliminated considering that only one of those games was against a team currently in the Harris Poll top 25.

Again, these are fairly similar teams. However, I wouldn't hesitate to say Team D has proven more, based on these results, than Team C. And, once again, the computer polls agree with that opinion, placing Team D third in their rankings, while Team C is 10th. However, not only did the human voters narrow that gap, but the coaches placed Team C sixth, immediately in front of seventh-ranked Team D (in the Harris Poll, Team D is sixth, and Team C is seventh).

The two mystery teams: Team C is USC and Team D is Texas. On a side note, it's interesting to see that USC's supposedly horrendously easy schedule has actually produced more games against teams receiving votes than Texas' perceived meat grinder. But once again the time element came into play, this time in that the Trojans' loss to Oregon State, despite being to a far inferior conqueror than Texas' loss to Texas Tech, came earlier in the year. The human polls resemble an annual game of musical chairs more than any kind of objective ranking system.

So where do we go from here? At the risk of being labeled a college football anarchist, maybe it's the human element that put noise into the BCS system and not the maligned computers. After all, in many states, the high school playoff teams are determined and seeded purely by a computer points system. After all, how are coaches or writers supposed to fairly judge dozens of teams spread across a state?

I know, college football purists, that's heresy. We need our pollsters to maintain order in the universe, so that the machines don't go Agent Smith on us and use our passion for college football to power their Matrix world, or even worse — allow a mid-major into the title game.

So, dear voters, please keep these lessons in mind as you punch those ballots. Hanging chads and long waits at the polls are mere inconveniences compared to getting the wrong teams to Miami this year. Now that would be a national crisis.

Posted by Corrie Trouw at 11:11 AM | Comments (0)