In its annual test of just how blindly NFL fans worship their favorite uniform, the league's 32 teams are in the middle of the charade of fake football in half-full stadiums at full price.
Without a doubt, watching preseason football is like eating Splenda-cookies: at first bite, they seem like the real thing, but by the time the last bite hits your gullet, none of your taste buds are fooled. But for all of the hand-wringing and complaining that comes with the NFL's preseason, maybe it's not so bad, given the alternatives. Let's consider the alternatives.
First, we have to face facts. For instance, the owners will never just "give up" the two home dates they get in the preseason. So any real option will have to keep a total of 10 home games per team. On the flip side, the players' union will want a piece of any additional revenue the owners come into as a result of changing the current structure.
The most popular solution that addresses those two rules is to add two games to the regular season, meaning each team would play 18 regular season games and two preseason games (with a few extras thrown in for the Hall of Fame game, etc.). That way the owners would still get home-gate revenue 10 times, and getting a cut of that to the players could be negotiated fairly easily.
While that sounds great on the front end, consider how it might change the season at the back end. Most NFL divisional races go down to the final few weeks. For every 2007 New England that blows away the competition by Thanksgiving, there are countless other divisions where Week 17 matters. But if teams get two more games to separate themselves from the pack, will this still be the case?
Sure, two more games could give the chasers more opportunities to catch the leaders, but more likely two more games would just give the superior teams two more games to separate from the field. How many baseball pennant races that are tight in late August fizzle into late September non-drama?
A more radical (and improbable) version of the 18-game schedule eliminates the preseason entirely. But regardless of how brutally irrelevant most preseason plays are, they serve two purposes. First, the preseason does allow scouts, general managers, and other talent evaluators to take a look at players coming from off the radar. This benefits the players union, as it opens up opportunity for advancement of rank-and-file players as well as the teams, who get another look at some possible diamonds in the rough.
Secondly, the NFL preseason serves much the same purpose as when major college football programs cut a check to the Toledos, Troys, and Tennessee Techs of the world for the privilege of blasting them into oblivion. These contests where the outcome is either pre-determined or irrelevant allow teams to get used to a gameday setting without actually risking a loss that would count against them. Would you really want the first time your beloved Cowboys took the field in an NFL stadium to be Week 1 against the Giants or Redskins, with that game counting the same in the standings as anything that happened in December?
So if I'm so smart, you ask, what's my solution? This may sound like a cop out, but it's time for NFL fans to accept preseason football for what it is. NFL teams have learned how to approach the preseason and so should we.
Are preseason games, with tickets prices equal to regular season games, an embarrassing grab for season-ticket-holders' wallets? Of course. But those two games represent 20% of the cost of a season ticket. If these games were to be eliminated, owners would certainly tack that cost on to regular season prices. And while season-ticket-holders might not enjoy swallowing a 20% increase in the cost of regular season tickets, I have a feeling most would (and I'm guessing in some years have) pony up the additional cash for their seats. Wouldn't you rather have 10 tickets for the same cost as eight, even if two of those games are meaningless?
On the personnel side, it's obviously disheartening to see your starting quarterback march out for one drive, complete four check-downs, and then put on the baseball hat. But as a fan, wouldn't you rather be disappointed by only getting a fleeting look at your franchise's cornerstone rather than an eyeful of him limping to the MRI room?
If you're really that turned off by the exhibition season, show your displeasure in the most American ways possible. Don't buy the tickets. Don't watch the games on TV. Don't call your local radio station to dissect your star running back's 7-yard, 3-carry performance. And absolutely don't place any wagers on it.
The NFL really has nothing to lose by sticking to the status quo, so preseason football will be here to stay for the foreseeable future. As fans, we need to take a step back and accept it for what it is: a tasteless, low-calorie snack that just makes us hungrier for the main course of the regular season.
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