Tonya from Portland, OR writes, "Last week's WNBA brawl between the Detroit Shock and Los Angeles Sparks was a black eye for women's sports. For a ratings-starved league, is this just what the WNBA needed to boost ratings?"
Let's not get our sports bras all in a bunch just yet. Does this incident even qualify as a fight? All I saw was a bunch of women flailing and falling on the floor. Looked like a game of Twister to me. All it needed was a little bit of vegetable oil. But really, can you ever be disappointed with girl-on-girl action, even if an undersexed former NBA goon like Rick Mahorn spoils the fun for everyone? And is it even surprising that a team coached by Bill Laimbeer and assisted by Mahorn engaged in a dirty brawl, at the site of the 2004 Detroit Pistons/Indiana Pacers melee, no less? Shouldn't there be a foul for flagrant coaching?
Basketball is a physical game, whether played by men, women, midgets, transvestites, or people on donkeys. In the WNBA, just like the NBA, contact is inevitable, and an inherent part of the game. Combine physical contact in the women's game with malicious gang sign flashings, as well as jealous spats about who can pull their hair back the tightest, and a brawl is bound to break out. I could be wrong.
Maybe the Shock/Sparks brawl had nothing to do with animosity, and everything to do with timing. In July, women's issues seem to have been flaring up more than usual. First, Indy car racers Danica Patrick and Milka Dunno engaged in a delicious quarrel after a practice session for a race in Lexington, Ohio. LPGA golfers have recently resumed their criticism of Michelle Wie. And the the Detroit/Los Angeles brawl. Sounds like it was just that time of the month.
In all seriousness, Mahorn got a raw deal when suspensions and fines were handed out by the league last Thursday. Mahorn was suspended for two games and fined $1,000, apparently for maliciously wielding a clipboard while trying to separate the combatants before any nails were broken. According to the league, Mahorn shoved Sparks player Lisa Leslie to the floor, and fearing that an NBA Eastern Conference Finals, circa mid-to-late-1980s, might break out, the WNBA had no choice but to punish Mahorn.
Laimbeer was incensed with Mahorn's punishment, so incensed that he donned his old Land of the Lost Sleestak costume and angrily fired harmless crossbow arrows in the direction of league offices. Laimbeer said Mahorn was acting as a "peacemaker" as slap-fights broke out around him, and the physical contact with Leslie was simply incidental as Mahorn tried to separate combatants. WNBA officials, as well as former Boston Celtics Kevin McHale and Robert Parrish, scoffed at Laimbeer's assertion, as well as his use of the words "Rick Mahorn" and "peacemaker" in the same sentence.
"I think the word 'widowmaker' would be more appropriate," McHale commented.
As violence goes, the WNBA incident was tame. And, compared to NBA violence starring NBA thugs Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson, it was even tamer, and no criminal charges were filed. The only injury reported was a torn ACL suffered by Cheryl Ford, who was hurt trying to restrain a teammate. Only one punch connected (according the HBO Punch Stats) — the Sparks' DeLisha Milton-Jones punched Mahorn in the back in response to Leslie's fall. Mahorn, to his credit, didn't retaliate, and likened Milton-Jones' punch to a Danny Ainge haymaker, or a congratulatory pat on the back from Chuck Daly. Oddly, Mahorn was fined $1,000 for a shove (that may not have even happened), while Milton-Jones was fined only $500 for a sucker punch. And women's basketball players are begging for equality.
All kidding aside, was the brawl good for the sport of women's basketball? Of course it was. Any publicity is good publicity, and it's much better than no publicity. I wouldn't be surprised if the entire incident was staged by the league. Doesn't it seem somewhat of a coincidence that the throwdown took place in the presence of Mahorn and Laimbeer, two of the NBA's scrappiest enforcers, in The Palace, where the Pacers and Pistons engaged in a fight with arguably more action than a superfeatherweight boxing clash between two iron-chinned Hispanics? Far-fetched, but conceivable, no? There have been other, more monumental events in history that have been staged, like the 1969 lunar landing, or Mark Moseley's 1982 NFL MVP award.
And should the WNBA be that surprised that a fight broke out in the league? After all, they do model themselves after the NBA, just without the spectacular dunks and out-of-this-world athleticism. And what's the cure for fan apathy? A fight, or free gas cards. I guarantee that WNBA ratings shot up in subsequent telecasts. Not because people wanted to watch a game, but to see replays of the fight, especially Leslie's dive, which basically verified the long-standing rumor that Leslie "goes down easy." Or maybe I'm confusing her with Sheryl Swoopes.
Will the fight ultimately damage the integrity of the WNBA, and cost the league its largest fan base, screaming female tweeners? No, not at all. This is just what the league needed. We've got to ask ourselves: do we want our daughters growing up worshiping the likes of marginally-talented hacks like Hannah Montana, or growing up to have the balls to punch a large black man who was known as one of the NBA's most rugged goons? The latter, of course. If young, impressionable females are to become pantsuit-wearing, contributing members of society, then the Shock/Sparks incident should give them a clear impression that sometimes, you've got to fight for what you believe in, like the right to party, or incremental ratings points, or a one-handed set shot.
Should we worry about a similar incident in the WNBA again? No, we shouldn't worry, but we should be prepared. It will happen, in some form or fashion. Chances are you won't be tuned in live when the next WNBA fight breaks out. If I knew when the fight was, I would be eagerly watching, though. When the chicks hit the fan, I'll be more than willing to briefly turn away from an episode of "I Survived a Japanese Game Show" to see it.
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