BRETT FAVRE!!!
There, I got it out of the way early. I'm obligated by federal law to mention him in any sort of NFL preview. I'm tired of Brett Favre, you're tired of Brett Favre, everyone is tired of Brett Favre.
Unfortunately, for people who love sports, there is no way to escape his "Aw, shucks" demeanor and grizzled half-beard. That's because, like just about every other male on this planet, you get your sporting news, highlights, and updates from ESPN.
From the barrage of bottom line "updates" to the obligatory reaction from every ESPN NFL analyst throwing their two cents on the fact that His Greatness uses text messaging (does he use T9 or full keypad, the world must know), you simply cannot get away from it. ESPN refuses to allow it. Hell, even the second segment of the ESPY awards was dedicated to Brett Favre and his win in the category of "Best Record-Breaking Performance". ESPN was so tickled to give him this award that they didn't even bother to list the other nominees (if there were any) before having another tired, old personality, Chris Berman, present him the award.
Well, I'm not going to stand for it anymore. There is too much going on around the league to let Brett Favre steal the entire show. Here is a list of four (wait, that's his number), make that five things to look for in the NFL this summer without mentioning Brett Favre.
1. Getcha' popcorn ready! The Cowboys are coming to a TV near you. HBO is taking the best behind-the-scenes sports show of all time, "Hard Knocks," down to Oxnard, CA to follow America's Team for five weeks this preseason. After a brief layoff, "Hard Knocks" returned with a vengeance last season while chronicling the Kansas City Chiefs preseason camp.
To be honest, I only remember two things about the 2007 Kansas City Chiefs version of "Hard Knocks" — Brodie Croyle's smoking hot wife and Gunther Cunningham's extremely foul mouth. Other than that, the only thing I remember is that I couldn't wait for the new episode to air every week. Not exactly the best review ever for a show, but take my word and watch this show. You will not be disappointed.
With personalities like T.O., "Pacman" (sorry, but no one is going to call you Adam, so just deal with it) Jones, Tony Romo, and Jerry Jones competing for top billing on the marquee, the 2008 Cowboys could be the first team ever to have their season derailed by a reality show and I couldn't be more excited to watch it unfold.
2. "Inside the NFL" is moving to Showtime. True, this is more noteworthy for the regular season than the preseason since it won't be airing until September 10th, but it's still worth mentioning. And since I already pimped an HBO show, I guess it's only fair to spread some love to over to Showtime.
Why is this move so noteworthy, you ask? Because when I was a kid, I loved "Inside the NFL." But the past few seasons got so unwatchable that I finally gave up on the show about halfway through last season.
They stopped showing highlights from every game (bad idea) and tried some sort of feel good gimmick by shadowing some random person during the games that they did show highlights for (worse idea). Then they put the nail in the coffin by switching over to four hosts (never a good idea) and added to the clustered feel by having Peter King waiting in the wings every episode.
(If you actually watched "Inside the NFL" last year, you know that when I say "waiting in wings" that I'm not using a figure of speech, King was literally standing in the shadows off the set sometimes when they'd cut to him. It really made for some bizarre television.)
They had too many not funny people trying to be funny and it just turned into one big ball-busting segment after another with these four guys who pretended to be best friends, but in reality, had no chemistry.
Well, a fresh start could be just what this show needs, and I'm willing to give it a second chance. They got rid of perennial goofballs Chris Carter and Dan Marino and replaced them with Phil Simms (upgrade), replaced Bob Costas with James Brown (huge upgrade), and kept Chris Collinsworth around. Do the math, that's only three hosts. Add the fact that all three of these hosts are more "football guys" than "TV personalities" and the in-depth football version of "Inside the NFL" from yesteryear may be returning.
Then again, J.B. could have spent all summer writing jokes about Phil Simms and all bets are off. Needless to say, I'm giving this show a few weeks to try to recapture the Len Dawson/Nick Buoniconti/Chris Collinsworth magic.
3. August is Jim Sorgi appreciation month in Indy. The NFL's newest iron man, Peyton Manning, is expected to miss most, if not all, of training camp after having knee surgery, leaving long-time backup Jim Sorgi in charge frantically signaling to the first-team offense all summer instead of the second team.
Sorgi has attempted 127 passes in his four seasons as Eli's brother's backup and has thrown 6 touchdown passes and only 1 interception in his career. No wonder Tony Dungy has so much quiet strength; he has a Hall of Famer in waiting holding a clipboard. I don't want to start any trouble here, but I smell a quarterback controversy brewing in Colts camp this year.
4. Actor, dancer, and defensive end Jason Taylor is now a Washington Redskin. The draft picks the Dolphins received will surely help them as they try to rebuild under Bill Parcells, and Jason Taylor can spend the remainder of his contract trying to convince Redskins owner Daniel Synder to finance a film venture for him once his playing days are over.
From a football standpoint, I have no idea what this means. Forgive me, but I have the NFL Sunday Ticket, which means that I have the option to watch any football game I want every week. So, not regrettably, I haven't watched a single Miami Dolphins game since Paul Tagliabue was still announcing first round draft picks.
However, since Taylor won the NFL Defensive Player of the Year just two short seasons ago, I'll just assume that he is an upgrade at defensive end for the 'Skins and take my hat off to their front office for pulling the trigger on such an under-the-radar commodity.
5. It's holdout season. With camp set to start this week for every team, the biggest story in just about every NFL market is which players will and which players won't report to camp. Already, there have been grumblings this offseason about guys like Chad Johnson, Brian Urlacher, Brian Westbrook, Lito Sheppard, Jermey Shockey and many others not reporting to camp in hopes of getting new contracts or being traded. That doesn't include all of the unsigned first round draft picks.
My biggest question is who informs the team that these players will be holding out? Does the agent make the phone call in advance in the hopes of starting a dialogue, or is it an Andy Dufrense-type moment where someone is calling roll and the player doesn't answer?
I remember first round draft pick Dwayne Bowe and star running back Larry Johnson held out last year for the Chiefs, but "Hard Knocks" never touched on how the team was informed. Or maybe they did and I was too busy googling pictures of Mrs. Croyle. Either way, hopefully some Cowboys holdout so I can see who gets to be the bearer of bad news and tell Jerry Jones to his current face that he is going to have to open the checkbook up even more.
Amazing. I found five things worth mentioning about the NFL and I didn't even have to resort to weighing in on what's-his-name up there in Wisconsin.
In the spirit of using as many "Shawshank Redemption" analogies as they'll allow me to make in one column, consider this article your beer on the rooftop moment. It is the few moments of freedom you have from the Brett Favre saga before you turn on ESPN and see John Clayton on a split screen and you realize that you're trapped.
July 21, 2008
Red:
Just to talk about Favre, Chris Berman would crawl though over 4 football fields of foulness I can’t even imagine. Or maybe I just don’t want to.
July 21, 2008
Alan:
Jerry Jones’ current face. Ha. At least if your not going to actually talk any football you might as well make me chuckle.
July 21, 2008
peter milin:
Look at the last four years at what thompson has said he would do to help the packers and favre to succeed.. favre willing to give up part of his salary to get moss…at least talk to mariuchi about coacing job…keeping at least one if not both offensive guards but letting both go…something is rotten in the state of greenbay and me thinks it is half truth thompson..
July 21, 2008
Teri B.:
Lol, at least you’re honest about hating Favre for no legitimate reason. I wish some other sports talking heads would be so honest.
I was really proud to see the ESPYs last night. Clearly, whoever wrote that tribute was soundly on Brett’s side - the last line you heard was a clip of a commentator famously saying, “He’s the best thing that ever happened to Green Bay,” just after, the narrator said maybe others will get to see him play too.
And the standing ovation! It’s great to see that PLAYERS “get” it! This is a guy who loves to play that game more than anything, and the Packers pushed him out. Tim Brown confirmed it, “… I know for a fact that the organization doesn’t want him back. They didn’t want him there last year.”
I’m so sick of hearing “this is a business.” That’s code for, “FU Favre, we’ll do whatever we want.” Well, Thompson and the rest are merely parasites who live off of what Brett and others do. It IS about the athletes, and we, the fans, are privileged to witness it. If this were about “business” or money, Green Bay would be making that argument, but since they’re not, I think it’s pretty obvious Brett has told them he’ll play for nothing. He just loves the game and wants to play. Besides, he’s got plenty of money, but money can’t buy this time at the end of his career when he can still play with the best of them.
I’ve had about enough of people who’ve always hated or been jealous of Favre running this discussion, on the web, and in the media. HOW DARE THEY! Elway had the same kind of retirement controversy for years, till he finally retired IN MAY. I guarantee you the Bronocs would NEVER have treated him so shabbily.
July 21, 2008
Teri B.:
P.S. I feel the same way about Peyton Manning - they guy makes my eyes bleed -
and Roger Federer. I was so sick of that guy winning every slam and always being No. 1! This year’s been really fun for me, as you might imagine. :D
July 21, 2008
Robert Andersson:
Please tell that moron that probably has his writing job because of juice (not skill) that he doesn’t speak for me or the other large number of Brett Farve fans. What gives him the right to say I’m tired of Farve and everyone is tired if him. Someone please tell this Steve Shepard dork head to get a job writing fiction. Obviously, there are a great number of knowledgeable football fans that could do a better job than him. Come to think of it most football fans could do a better job than him. I’ll close with me, you and everybody else is tired of Steve Shepard.