Favre Leaving a Bad Taste

It appears the first drafts of the Brett Favre/Green Bay split are making their way to NFL Divorce Court (at least if Favre has his way). And like a real life divorce, this one figures to be ugly, messy, and leave plenty of hurt feelings, especially in fandom.

How strange is it that a man that so many fawned over just six months ago is suddenly our bane for daring to continue on? Why is it that the personal career decision of a 38-year-old most of us will never meet matters so much?

It's because our sports are the ultimate outlet for our human needs. They provide an unapologetic field of battle for overt competition. They enclose emotions we'd need weeks to encounter in our daily lives within tidy frameworks. After four quarters, there's almost always a winner and a loser, celebration and dejection, and a hero and a villain. Our sports aren't subject to the shades of gray that impair our need for judgment in the real world.

And that's why so many find a passion to care about what Favre does next. After all, why is it our business whether an able candidate gets employment in his field? And for as much as Favre has done in the NFL, shouldn't we be thrilled at the prospect of 16 more Sundays and Mondays to see him perform?

But that's not public opinion right now. I would guess I was in the overwhelming majority when I cringed a millisecond after reading the headlines last week suggesting Favre's return. I'm sure many Packer and Favre fans cringed along with me.

It's not that our football-loving nation doesn't want to see him again; we just don't know how what we'll see will affect our memories. There are certain things you can't unsee; for those of us who feed on the NFL by the broadcast second, a washed up No. 4 sailing balls over receivers' heads just might get the nod over Lawrence Taylor turning Joe Theisman's femur into a Jacobs' Ladder.

And yet it's not as if we should expect that kind of regression from Favre this year. After all, he quarterbacked Green Bay to the brink of the Super Bowl just six months ago. Sure, the physical skills leave town quickly for athletes at the end of their careers, but Favre didn't show those signs last year.

I think what drives most of us to want to see Favre stay retired is fear. For the Packer front office, the fear is that one man will permanently overshadow one of the league's proudest teams. For Packer fans, the fear is that the job of Green Bay quarterback will become a black hole for prospects; getting Aaron Rodgers a shot right now might be the chance anyone has stepping into No. 4's shoes anytime soon. But what about the rest of us? What are we so afraid of?

NFL fans are a subset of humanity in general (except in Oakland's Black Hole, of course). We don't like cliffhanger season finales, leftover steak, or six-inch putts. We like our protagonists to bleed, repent, achieve, and accept their mortality in the end. If Brett Favre returns now, after we had such a clean break last year, it'll be like seeing an extra slice of meatloaf appear on our plates when we thought we had cleaned it. When Favre threw sloppy interception after sloppy interception over the past few years, we stomached those extra mouthfuls. But as 2007 rolled on and the Pack mounted one last charge, we were happy participants in what we thought was the last bite. We savored, swallowed, and got ready for dessert. And now he wants to give us more meatloaf?

Without a doubt, the messiest days of this saga are still to come. By my calendar, we have nearly two full months before anyone takes a meaningful snap in an NFL game. And unless anyone is dumb enough to start melees in strip clubs or organize dog-fighting again, you better believe Favre-mania will dominate that headlines and broadcasts for these two months. Who's ready for seconds?

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