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May 31, 2008

Why Baseball Needs Replay Now

If baseball in America were to be described in two words, it would be "old school." Baseball doesn't have the glitz and glamour that football or basketball do. Players don't use smack talk to intimidate each other, nor do they have the colorful players that everyone likes to rave and talk about. No, in today's world of baseball, everything from the stadium to the players is old school. Some like the simplicity of the sport and its old school nature.

Unfortunately for baseball, though, being old school can have its setbacks that brings the sport down.

Last week, New York Mets first basemen Carlos Delgado smacked a fly ball to far left field against the New York Yankees. The ball hit the bottom black part of the yellow foul pole and the umpires initially ruled it fair for a home run. After a couple minutes of talking it over, however, the umpires changed the call to foul. This happened when a national audience watched the umpires make a blatant mistake by calling the first ruled home run a foul ball.

Later on in the week, it happened again as Yankees third basemen Alex Rodriguez hit a home run that barely cleared the wall. However, since the umpires saw the hit distance away, it looked like the ball bounced off the wall, so it was ruled a double.

This then started a frenzy of angry fans crying out for replay. On television and radio sets across the country, sports talk shows argued and discussed the need for replay in baseball. Many argue that baseball needs to install replay so that calls like home runs are correct. That is true and the main reason for replay is to get the calls correct so that a team doesn't get screwed over. However, another reason why baseball needs to install replay is to start to shy away from its old school image.

Replay is in almost every sport. It's used in football, basketball, and hockey, and even though all three sports do it differently, it's still efficient. In sports today, technology is being used to its fullest by the invention of replays. MLB needs to get their act together and enter the 21st century with the rest of the major sports. With the use of instant replay, no longer are the days where teams get slighted over a bad call.

However, teams sometimes do get slighted for wrong calls, which upsets the fans. Baseball has the technology to make the calls right and make the game fair. For easy-to-see home runs on television, it only takes 10 seconds to realize that it's either a home run or not. It's not rocket science in most cases. All it takes is one look and a decision is easily made.

The use of replay doesn't even slow the game down. In fact, it speeds it up. Instead of watching a manager spit at an umpire for two minutes, technology would make that two minutes into 20 seconds and then further continue the game, and any way to speed up the game would make fans more willing to watch it. The normal fan doesn't want to sit for four hours watching a game. Sure, the fan wants to watch a good amount of baseball to feed their appetite. But they don't want to sit there forever to watch the conclusion of the game. It's something that has turned off so many fans in the past. If MLB can speed the game, that can only been seen as a positive.

Reports are that MLB will experiment with the use of replay in spring training next year. There are also reports that the use of replay may not be implemented into baseball until 2010.

Why can't they install it now? Why can't they figure out a solution in the matter of days? Why do they have to wait for 2010 to put it in?

This is what is frustrating sports fans across the country. The lack of doing the most simplest tasks right now is driving fans away from baseball.

Here's a solution to the problem. Do what the NFL does and have one umpire as the replay official up in the booth. Any Joe Schmo could've come up with that. In fact, many analysts have come up with that idea as that has been the majority idea/plan by many baseball experts. It's these little snippets of decision making by the head officials in baseball that is making it more unpopular today.

I'm not saying that replay would fix all that is wrong with baseball. I'm also not saying that it won't erase the old school image in baseball. What I am saying is that if the MLB keeps ignoring this issue and doesn't address it appropriately, it will continue to re-enforce the idea that baseball is still behind other major sports.

Posted by Ben Feller at 11:03 AM | Comments (0)

May 30, 2008

U.S. Troops Inspire Baseball Pros

On the heels of Memorial Day 2008 and in anticipation of the 232nd celebration of United States Independence Day on July 4th, Americans traditionally give thanks to our nation's military service members.

And traditionally, Major League Baseball, partly due to where its season falls on the calendar, including May and July, through its various teams provides public ceremonies and military displays prior to game times, during seventh-inning stretches and with post-game fireworks on these holidays, in honor of U.S. active-duty troops and veterans alike.

But given the times in which we live, nearly seven years since the terrorist attacks on U.S. soil on September 11, 2001, followed by the War in Afghanistan, referred to as Operation Enduring Freedom, and in the War in Iraq, referred to as Operation Iraqi Freedom, our military remains fully engaged in fighting our enemies and the war on terrorism in two countries in the Middle East.

For purposes of this report, political ideology and foreign policy will not be discussed, but rather it will be devoted to how important it remains for Americans to maintain a connection with our fighting men and women not only in the Middle East, but around the world, as well as stateside.

One way in which troops remain motivated, as we all do, is by following our favorite sports and our favorite players. Fortunately, many MLB players have made a commitment to help boost troop morale in various creative ways to support our troops, which will be highlighted here. For as we take pause on these holidays to salute our military, we must be more conscious to do so throughout the year, not simply when we are reminded on holidays or during the good times.

This reporter received a press release on May 16, 2008, sent by a United States Air Force Public Affairs officer serving in Bagram, Afghanistan. The unclassified memo detailed an event which took place at the Bagram Airfield on Mother's Day, May 11, 2008. Through the efforts of Pro Sports Marketing, Ventures & Promotions (MVP) of Colorado Springs, CO, and its Heroes of the Diamond Tour in conjunction with the Morale, Welfare, and Recreation division of Bagram Airfield, four MLB player retirees were afforded a visit with over 400 troops located there.

The four players making the trip were former relief pitcher Jeff Nelson of the Seattle Mariners and NY Yankees fame, who retired in 2007, joined by Tim Salmon, former outfielder for the Los Angeles Angels and retired in 2006, along with third baseman Dean Palmer, who last played for the Detroit Tigers and retired in 2003, and Mike Remlinger, former relief pitcher who ended his career with the Atlanta Braves in 2006.

The journey to visit the troops in Bagram, while not without complications and prior delays, required a commitment from the athlete visitors and the ability for them to be flexible with their plans, as traveling to a war zone comes with its inherent dangers requires additional security details. But as Jeff Nelson recalls, "I'd heard stories of people going and how it can be life-changing."

Nelson was originally on tap to travel to Bagram in 2007, but due to military concerns, the trip was postponed until April 2008, when it was postponed again until May. Nelson was not as concerned about his safety knowing that, "They're going to try and keep you out of harm's way."

In my correspondence with U.S.A.F. Tech. Sergeant Kevin P. Wallace, assigned to public affairs at Bagram Airfield, he disclosed that he got to spend some time visiting with Tim Salmon and relayed that all four players autographed baseballs, posed for photos which they also signed, and hung out with and talked with as many of the service members as possible at the Bagram Airfield Clamshell and various stops in Afghanistan and other deployed locations there where troops are serving, over a period of 10 days.

"I have been watching Tim Salmon since I was a kid, said Army Sgt. Jeff M. Lucenti. "It means a lot because I was at the last game he played in," he said. Dean Palmer recalled that being able to talk with the service members and listening to the things that they experienced has been one of the best experiences of his life.

Air Force Lt. Col. Rob Rocco emoted, "Today is Mother's Day and yet they sacrificed time to be here with us." Mike Remlinger stated before the troops that, "We wanted to come and show how much we support you." He later recalled that, "Being here with these soldiers and listening to their stories makes me realize how real this war is."

And while giving of time to actually visit deployed U.S. troops, in this case by retired MLB players, is probably the most meaningful to U.S. service members, as well as for the athletes, there are other active MLB players who have taken on personal missions to support U.S. troops stateside.

Among MLB players making commitments, both financially and through dedicating time with active-duty troops, veterans and their families are Barry Zito of the San Francisco Giants, Scott Linebrink of the Chicago White Sox, Jeff Suppan of the Milwaukee Brewers, Jamie Walker of the Baltimore Orioles, Aaron Harang of the Cincinnati Reds and the San Diego Padres organization. In fact, the Padres are the only MLB team with a dedicated military marketing department.

Probably receiving the most attention is Barry Zito's organization, Strikeout For Troops, started in the 2005 season, which encourages MLB players to pledge a dollar amount donation for every pitcher's strikeout or a batter's every RBI, home run, or hit throughout the entire season. Donations are used for the care of returning wounded troops, as well as their family's needs.

White Sox reliever Scott Linebrink is hosting military veterans each month of the 2008 season at U.S. Cellular field. His outreach program, Scott's Heroes, in conjunction with the Wounded Heroes Foundation, Inc., gives VIP treatment for two veterans to meet Linebrink, meeting with them on the field before batting practice and providing each with five tickets to the game. Linebrink, who comes from a military family, simply feels that, "I think it's something that a lot of us need to do to voice our support for these troops."

Jeff Suppan, the Brewers pitching starter, introduced Soup's Troops, in partnership with the Milwaukee Brewers and the USO of Wisconsin. It benefits military service members to attend Miller Park games in the 2008 season. The Brewers donate four field-level seats to active military personnel, as well as families of fallen soldiers. And Suppan and his wife Dana pay the tab of up to $200 worth of food and merchandise for each group. He also pledges $100 per strikeout throughout the season to the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund, with each amount matched by the Brewers Charities foundation. It benefits children of fallen soldiers.

Jamie Walker, relief pitcher for the Baltimore Orioles, donates money to the U.S. Army Emergency Relief Fund and provides a luxury box at Camden Yards to host soldiers and wounded veterans returning from the Middle East, with food and drinks on him.

Aaron Harang, starting pitcher for the Cincinnati Reds, and his Aaron's Aces program hosts 30 military family members per game at Great American Ball Park, and they attend a meet-and-greet session in the Reds' bullpen where Harang signs autographs, gives the fans t-shirts, as well as vouchers for concessions. These fans are also put on the JumboTron scoreboard in the second inning. Harang importantly notes, "If we start getting other teams and players involved, we can expand it. It would be great if a bunch of guys got together to do this at different stadiums."

Aaron Harang, who grew up in the military city of San Diego, CA and Scott Linebrink, who previously played for the San Diego Padres there, both realize the importance of service where San Diego has the largest active-duty military members' concentration in the U.S. As such, the San Diego Padres organization has been steadfast in the support of the military community in San Diego and around the world, noted as the Team of the Military by the U.S. Department of Defense.

The San Diego Padres has joined the America Supports You program of the U.S. Department of Defense in numerous charitable causes in addition to many others ways as it remains not only the only franchise in MLB with the only dedicated military affairs marketing department, but the only professional sports franchise in the nation with one.

As dedicated and generous as these aforementioned efforts matter and mean to the various players, teams and the beneficiaries of such good causes, it is frightfully deficient when looking at the big picture. And as well-meaning such philanthropic and outreach programs are, such efforts require momentum and a constant stream of like-efforts in order to remain sustainable.

Praise is deserved for those MLB players who have personally taken it upon themselves to raise awareness of the needs of our active-duty troops, veterans, and their families and largely with their own funding and ingenuity. But in researching these efforts it has but crystallized the dearth of such funding and efforts generated by MLB, Inc. as well as the MLB Players Association and other MLB teams. Perhaps shortsighted on their part is that lifting the morale of U.S. troops provides a reciprocal benefit for players', teams', and fans' morale, as well. It is but a win-win which should be encouraged.

For as Barry Zito has expressed, "Sometimes, in a world where professional sports and celebrities are front-page news, it's easy to forget who the real heroes are in this country." Let us never forget.

Posted by Diane M. Grassi at 11:56 AM | Comments (0)

May 29, 2008

Bulls, Please Take Rose

Dear John Paxon,

I was planning on writing a letter to you even before I came across Scoop Jackson's letter on Page 2 of ESPN. At that point, I knew for sure that this letter was a necessary one.

Scoop told you to take Michael Beasley. To that, I'm telling you to just say no. Take Rose.

They will both be perennial all-stars, there's no doubt about that. But there will be plenty of other Michael Beasleys throughout the NBA during his career. He is a physical specimen at 6'10" and 235 pounds, but the NBA is all about physical specimens at this point. Beasley has nothing that Dwight Howard doesn't — except for a long-range shooting touch. Of course, that's something Beasley won't be asked to do much of, whether he is on your team or somewhere else.

I'm not going to try to belittle Beasley's freshman season at Kansas State, because it was unbelievable. Nobody can deny that. You can't argue with 26.2 points and 12.2 rebounds per game, not to mention 1.6 blocked shots. But what did Beasley do for the Wildcats other than garner media attention? He delivered a pedestrian 10-6, third-place finish in the Big 12 capped off with a disappointing second-round NCAA tournament loss to Wisconsin.

I know this isn't a perfect analogy, but Carmelo Anthony almost single-handedly took his Syracuse Orangemen to the 2003 National Championship when he was a freshman. Sure, all Beasley had to work with was fellow diaper dandy Bill Walker, but it's not like 'Melo's 2003 club was loaded with talent around him. Beasley and the 'Cats didn't just lose to Wisconsin in round two; they got pummeled. Pummeled by a Wisconsin squad that got absolutely manhandled by the Davidson Wildcats in the Sweet 16.

Say what you will about physical specimens, but I prefer winners. That's what Derrick Rose is. He didn't have the same gaudy numbers because he played on a team loaded with NBA talent, but he did a little bit of everything with 14.9 points, 4.5 rebounds, and 4.7 assists per game. His real value to Memphis, however, can only be measured in the difference between how the Tigers looked when he was on the court and how they looked when he was on the bench.

It's not unlike the differences in the New Orleans Hornets without Chris Paul and the Utah Jazz without Deron Williams. Which naturally brings me to my next point. How can you look at Paul and Williams and not already start kicking yourself for merely considering saying no to Rose? You don't want to be the Atlanta Hawks, do you?

There's no doubt in my mind the Hawks would be one of the best teams in the Eastern Conference with Chris Paul at the helm and it would be very easy to make an argument that they would be the best. Paul surrounded by Joe Johnson, Josh Smith, Josh Childress, and Al Horford? Yes, please.

You surrounding components to Rose might not be quite as good, but they are at the very least serviceable. Luol Deng and Ben Gordon both have great potential, Andreas Nocioni is a nice compliment at small forward, Tyrus Thomas is only going to get better, and the jury is still out on Joakim Noah, but he probably would have been the No. 1 pick in the 2006 draft if he had left after Florida's first national championship. None of those guys, however, has lived up to their true potential.

Why? Well, perhaps it's because Derrick Rose is the key to unlock said potential, and he has not been available until now. Kirk Hinrich has turned out to be a great player, but he is individually great. Does he make every single player he plays with better, like Paul and Williams do? No sir.

Neither does Chris Duhon, and that's why while point guard is far from a "need" area on your team, you still "need" Derrick Rose. Of course, that brings us to one final point, which is that needs need not apply when you have the No. 1 pick in the draft. When you have the No. 1 pick in the draft, you don't draft a player based on at which positions your team is lacking. You do that when you have a pick that's either at the bottom of the lottery or not in the lottery at all. When you have the No. 1 pick, you draft who you think is going to change the course of your franchise and deliver NBA titles to you sooner rather than later.

I think that is Derrick Rose. Do you?

In conclusion, John, I watched you take and hit so many huge jumpers during the first of M.J.'s three-peats. I watched you bury that trey in Game 6 against the Suns to win the 1993 title. You said after the game, "I just caught the ball and shot it, as I have my whole life."

Well, you've caught the ball — the lottery ping-pong ball — once again, and soon it will be time to shoot it. You're even more wide-open now than you were then.

How about going nothing but net once again?

Posted by Ricky Dimon at 11:52 AM | Comments (0)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 12

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kyle Busch — Despite losing time to an unscheduled pit stop on lap 149 and battery problems later, Busch again proved that very little can hold him back, except possibly a sunscreen with an SBF lower than 140. Busch finished third, maintaining a comfortable 94-point lead in the Cup standings. Busch led 61 laps, three fewer than his brother Kurt, in recording his eighth top-five finish of the year.

"Kurt led more laps than me," says Busch, "and I'm happy for him. Kurt's had a tough year so far, but you can only hold a Busch brother down for so long. When we fight back, watch out! We were both held back for so long, Kurt by abnormally large ears, me by Hendrick Motorsports. We don't like to lose, and we've faced an abundance of beatings over time, Kurt by enraged drivers, me by the ugly stick. If destiny calls for me to follow in Kurt's footsteps, then so be it. That means a Sprint Cup championship awaits, as well as a sexless marriage. I'm ready for both."

2. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. — Once again, Earnhardt had a car capable of winning, leading 76 laps, but a blown right front tire on lap 297 sent him hard into the wall and out of the lead. Even with a severely damaged right side, Earnhardt was able to recover and finish fifth. He holds on to the third spot in the point standings, 139 behind Kyle Busch.

"I'm not sure if we blew a tire or ran over something," says Earnhardt. "My guess is I ran over some type of debris, possibly a jagged piece of a Budweiser bottle, or maybe the sharp-edged fragment of Teresa Earnhardt's vanity, or maybe it was a broken piece of the twisted logic behind one of Tony Eury, Jr.'s decisions. Luckily, we didn't lose that wheel, like Brian Vickers did. Let me tell you. If I lose a wheel and it lands on the roof of an infield camper, and that camper is a Dale, Jr. fan, they'd need a SWAT team to pry that tire from the cold hands of that damn, dirty Earnhardt fan. Two NASCAR officials on a golf cart just wouldn't cut it. I'm sure the owner of that camper paid NASCAR to take that Brian Vickers' tire away."

3. Jeff Burton — Burton started 14th in Charlotte and quickly made his presence felt, moving into the top 10 on lap eight and running amongst the leaders for the majority of the race. Burton ended the 600-mile marathon in sixth, his eighth top-10 of the year, and has yet to finish outside the top 15 this year.

"It was quite a weekend for motorsports," says Burton. "But I don't think Monaco or Indianapolis could match Charlotte for excitement. Sure, nothing beats driving the street circuit at Monaco in a high-performance Formula 1 machine, except driving the street circuit at Monaco in a high-performance Formula 1 machine, high on heroin. I've done neither, but I hear Aaron Fike did the latter, although it was on PlayStation. Anyway, it was great to see Brit Lewis Hamilton become the first black man to win at Monaco. I can only hope Randy Moss's truck team brings that kind of diversity to NASCAR. I hear Moss is a big fan of Hamilton, and is a big fan of all things English, for that matter, especially their Olde malt liquor."

"As for Indy, it was a pretty uneventful race. However, it was pretty exciting watching Danica Patrick storm after Ryan Briscoe while removing her helmet and gloves on the way. If that official would have let her by, she could possibly have been totally naked by the time she got there. That definitely would have gotten an apology from Briscoe, as well as a sizable tip. I couldn't help but think of Al Pacino hamming it up for the camera and shouting 'Danica! Danica!' Danica!'"

4. Carl Edwards — Edwards finished ninth in Charlotte, a respectable result, but disappointing considering his accomplishments on 1.5-mile tracks this year. Edwards was running third on the final lap when he ran out of gas and fell to ninth. He moves up one place in the point standings to sixth, and is 322 out of first.

"Hey, what do WWE superstar John Cena and Matt Kenseth have in common?" asks Edwards. "That's right. I've submitted them both to the 'Boston Crab.' And they both run at the very threat of me raising a fist, just in different directions. That's one of the many perks of being a Gillette Young Gun — horseplay with professional athletes under the guise of selling products. Next up for me — a commercial with former major league pitcher Dennis 'Oil Can' Boyd."

5. Tony Stewart — Stewart had victory ripped from his grasp as a blown tire two laps from the end put him in the wall as Kasey Kahne was handed the victory. Stewart was headed for the win with a comfortable 5½-second lead when his right front tire went down. Instead of his first win of the season, Stewart settled for a finish of 18th, and continued his disappointment in the search for his first Cup win this year.

"The tire from Brian Vickers' car wasn't the only one flying in Charlotte," says Stewart. "What you didn't see on camera was me tossing my blown tire at the Goodyear executives. Not sure if they got the hint, though. In the future, to make sure they do get the hint, all of my interviews about tires will be conducted in front a giant video screen, which will play a continual loop of the Hindenburg disaster, with background music by Led Zeppelin."

6. Denny Hamlin — Like his Joe Gibbs teammate Tony Stewart, Hamlin blew a tire on lap 398 and saw a likely top-five finish evaporate, with 600 miles of hard work negated by a tire that just couldn't handle the pressure. Hamlin holds on to fourth in the points, but now trails leader Kyle Busch by 264 points.

"We were there for 398 of 400 laps," says Hamlin. "Some say we lost the 'war of attrition.' That's wrong. I'm pretty sure the Confederates won that one. As far as Tony Stewart seceding from Joe Gibbs Racing, that's entirely his decision. He doesn't need my blessing, nor does he need approval from the United Nations, Congress, or the general public."

7. Jeff Gordon — Gordon was mired in the middle of the pack nearly all day in the Coca-Cola 600, but a bold gamble, topping off his fuel tank on the final caution while many cars ahead stayed out, gave Gordon a fourth-place finish.

"You'd be surprised how much fuel can be pumped into a car in just a matter of seconds," says Gordon. "Just as you may be surprised by how many commercials FOX can jam down viewers' throats during a caution period. They don't call a debris caution 'a word from our sponsors' for nothing. Who am I to judge, though? I'm a walking billboard myself. Does anyone need a Pepsi, or one of the thousands of products offered by DuPont, none of which I can name?"

"But let's not lose sight of the positives here. I've recorded three consecutive top-10 finishes. Don't ask me how, because we've been doing it with cars barely worthy of a top-20 finish. Maybe 'smoke and mirrors' has something to do with it. Hey, you know if you take 'smoke and mirrors,' throw in a razor blade, a rolled-up dollar bill, mysterious white powder, a crack pipe, a syringe, a spoon, and a cigarette lighter, NASCAR just might have enough to test you for drugs."

"Now, I understand there are those of you who have a problem with me asking NASCAR to take a look at the 'rear housing' on certain cars. Most people love it when I talk dirty. Well, apparently, Carl Edwards doesn't."

8. Kevin Harvick — Harvick muscled his ill-handling Richard Childress Chevrolet to a hard-earned 14th in the Coca-Cola 600. He advanced two positions in the Cup point standings to seventh, and also extended his streak of not having a "DNF" to 56 races, two short of his NASCAR record of 58.

"Hey, that's just one small step for Kevin Harvick," says Harvick, "and it would be one giant leap for someone like Michael Waltrip or Michael McDowell to go that long without a DNF. You know what they car 'DNFs' at Michael Walrip racing? Sunday."

"I'd also like to give a good luck wish to NASCAR promoter extraordinaire 'Humpy Wheeler.' You may ask how he got his nickname. That's an anecdote better left untold, much like the Dick Trickle story. Let's just say 'Humpy' is more than just a name; it's a lifestyle."

9. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson lost a cylinder while running second on lap with about 75 miles to go, and a few laps later, his engine eventually failed completely. Last year's two-time winner at Charlotte ended his day in 39th, and dropped three positions to ninth in the Sprint Cup point standings.

"You can't win a race missing a cylinder," says Johnson. "Although Chad Knaus assured me we could — if we start with nine. That's a project he's working on for later. At least that's what I think he said. Chad's read the NASCAR rule book so many times that he's started speaking with the same type of vague and ambiguous language one finds in that rule book."

10. (tie) Kasey Kahne/Greg Biffle — Kahne and Biffle dominated Charlotte's All-Star festivities two weeks ago, with Kahne winning the All-Star Race and Biffle winning the Burnout Competition. Then, on Sunday, Kahne and Biffle finished 1-2 in the Coca-Cola 600. Kahne finally cracked the top 12 in the point standings, while Biffle remained 11th, 377 out of first.

"The question is," says Kahne, "whether my dominance in Charlotte can serve as the catalyst to more top finishes. or whether it will simply serve as a catalyst to more uninteresting Allstate commercials in which giggly, middle-aged women swoon over my overly robotic character. Hey, just like in real life."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:32 AM | Comments (0)

May 28, 2008

Understanding Vince Young

There was a report this weekend that Tennessee Titans quarterback Vince Young was just about ready to hang up the spikes after his rookie season — a season in which he won the Offensive Rookie of the Year award.

"It was crazy being an NFL quarterback," Young told the Associated Press. "It wasn't fun anymore. All of the fun was out of it. All of the excitement was gone. All I was doing was worrying about things."

Of course, this prompted a chorus of hand-wringing by writers put off by VY's apparent lack of commitment. SI's Peter King ended his recap of the situation with a sarcastic "Now there's a solid guy."

But I'm not jumping on Young for this one. Put yourself back into Young's shoes coming off the end of his rookie season. In the previous year:

Now that doesn't sound like a bad year. Actually, it sounds like a great year (with the exception of any personal troubles). But think about how tired you would be after doing all that in a span of 12 months. From the pressure of an undefeated college season (in Texas no less) to the Heisman voting, to the ugly and exhausting pre-draft process, to learning a new offensive system, to becoming a rookie starter in a playoff hunt. I mean, god damn — that's a lot of stuff going on for one dude. Can you really blame him for at least wondering if he was up for beginning the whole thing over again?

Part of the problem for Young is that this story feeds into an existing narrative about him, that he lacks "commitment" to being a professional QB. He's had some instances of being late to team meetings or breaking other rules that got him in trouble with Fisher. He once missed a team flight to a road game. Elitist sports writers hate it when players, especially young ones, pull that kind of crap. It goes against their "play the game the right way" ethos. (Just because I like and respect King's work doesn't mean he's not an elitist.)

But I understand. Sometimes, no matter how good a situation looks on the outside, sometimes people just want to tell the world to eff off and go live in peace. No more reporters hounding him. No more criticism about his style of play or low completion percentage. No more Michael Vick comparisons. Just get away. After a year like that, I understand.

But when Young gives a candid interview about the mental toll of his rookie year, all of a sudden he's a mark for snippy "Now there's a solid guy" comments. And the media missed a very important point to the story — that even though he was worn to the brink of quitting, he found his inspiration, got back to football, and led the Titans to a 10-6 record and a wild-card berth. Why was that not mentioned in King's recap? Overcoming adversity — that's a good thing, right?

And the media wonders why players don't trust them.

Seth Doria is a writer based out of St. Louis. For intelligent insight, sophomoric insult, and everything in between, visit The Left Calf.

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 11:53 AM | Comments (2)

MLB Contenders or Pretenders?

Buy or sell the Marlins as an NL East threat?

This is a nice young team, but it's an easy sell. Josh Johnson, Sergio Mitre, and Anibal Sanchez on long-term injury absence really hurts the team. The starting rotation remaining, beyond LHP Scott Olsen, isn't up to winning a competitive division. Kevin Gregg is a reliable closer, but Fredi Gonzalez only really trusts Matt Lindstrom and Renyel Pinto to set him up.

The team can hit, with Dan Uggla, Mike Jacobs, Hanley Ramirez, Jeremy Hermida, and Josh Willingham a potent lineup. None of them earn more than $450,000 a year — how jealous must Omar Minaya be? They are second the NL in slugging (.456) get on-base sufficiently (seventh in NL at .329) and are sixth in runs scored. With a mediocre starting rotation and a run differential of only +15, the chances of holding off well-balanced teams like the Braves and Phillies, let alone the talent-laden but mentally distraught Mets, is slim.

This is a potentially solid team that could be strong enough to contend in a year or two, given ownership commitment and some support from South Floridians. This year? Not enough depth or experience. Strong sell.

Buy or sell Detroit making the playoffs?

Remember John Kruk, Steve Phillips, and Co. telling us how Detroit was going to score a thousand runs and tear up the AL? Anything that comes out of the mouth of Kruk (the same guy who predicted Randy Johnson would win 30 games in his first season in New York) or Phillips (who is so stupid that people actually think it was him who traded Scott Kazmir for the useless Zambrano not Carlos) must be taken with a healthy pinch of salt, but the Detroit lineup did have a murderers-row look about it.

Detroit can actually hit well — they are third in the AL in runs scored, total bases, batting average, on-base percentage, slugging, and hits and fourth in home runs. The trouble is they can't pitch — at least so far this season.

They are next to last in team ERA, are the only AL team without a pitcher with a complete game to his name, only Seattle and Texas have given up more runs, only Texas has walked more batters and struck out fewer, and of the 14 save opportunities they've manufactured, 6 have been blown. No team has less quality starts (18 — the White Sox have 33 already).

The turnaround from the 2006 pennant winning team is staggering, though not completely unexpected given a mediocre 2007 for the pitching staff. In 2006, the Tigers led the AL in team ERA, shutouts, and runs allowed, while being second to the Angels in home runs and total bases allowed, quality starts, opponents' slugging percentage, and batting average. Even more surprising than the collapse of the pitching staff is it's essentially the same starters heading to the mound — Jeremy Bonderman, Justin Verlander, Nate Robertson, and Kenny Rogers. Only Rogers should have regressed given that he's approximately 300-years-old.

Robertson was never that good, but he had a career year in 2006. Verlander and Bonderman were supposed to dominate, but Verlander seems to have (worryingly) lost 5 mph from his fastball and Bonderman has never managed an ERA of less than 4.08 for a season. With the bullpen issues (no Joel Zumaya and the worst closer in the AL not named Joe Borowski) to add to a rotation struggling for confidence, I'm selling the Tigers making October despite the obvious run scoring potential.

Buy or Sell Lance Berkman as NL MVP?

The new workout regime has obviously sparked Big Elvis into life after a slightly disappointing 2007. He's tearing it up with a .385 average, a joint league-leading 16 homers and 45 RBIs, and a slugging percentage of .759 that leads the league.

To gauge how staggering William Lance Berkman's start has been, his RC27 (theoretical runs created in a game by nine of the same player) is 13.60, a figure only beaten by Barry Bonds since the turn of the century and almost a whole run better than second place Chipper Jones. There's no way he keeps this up, but with his new (relatively) streamline figure and a potent offense around him, I'm buying numbers around his 2006 totals of 45 homers and 136 RBIs and an MVP award.

Clayton Kershaw or Max Scherzer?

The two most hyped pitching prospects of the year were both called up earlier than anticipated to counter injuries and loss of form in Arizona and L.A. Who's the best — the big Texan 20-year-old lefty or the equally big 23-year-old righty from Missouri?

Scherzer came up first and took Doug Davis's spot in the rotation during his unfortunate illness and he didn't disappoint, despite giving up 5 runs to the Phillies in his first actual start. Since then, he's thrown 14.2 innings and given up 0 earned runs while striking out 16. He had a tendency to walk too many batters in the minors, but he doesn't give up the long ball (0.28 HR/9).

Scherzer throws high 90s and his fastball sinks. His slider is very strong and in time, he could have an upper level changeup. There is some feeling he could end up closing, but that would seem a waste until he's been given a good shot in the rotation, though that's not saying he couldn't make a premium closer.

He doesn't have an easy motion and he gives the impression his elbow is taking quite a bit of stress on each pitch. That said, Cole Hamels was supposed to have undergone Tommy John surgery by now if you believed the experts so predicting DL stints isn't an exact science.
Kershaw throws equally as hard and he does it from the left side. His 98 mph fastball mixed in with a knee-trembling 12-6 curve and a recently honed changeup made him next to unhittable in the minors.

Unfortunately, as he moved up to AA, his BB/9 went in the same direction, hitting a worrying 6.20 at Jacksonville. He only made five starts, so it's a small sample size, but at A ball Great Lakes he was walking batters at the rate of 4.62/9. That said he has huge potential with a phenomenal arsenal and an aggressive mound presence.

In some ways, Kershaw reminds me of the 2006 version of Francisco Liriano, and this is my worry. That big curve can bring on elbow problems with young pitchers and Kershaw's is even more wicked than Liriano's, who totally befuddled major league hitters before his elbow gave out.

Of the two, Scherzer is the more polished, but Kershaw has a slightly better repertoire, and he's a lefty. Kershaw seems the bigger injury risk and carries more expectations in 2008 as his team is struggling to stay on the coattails of the Diamondbacks. Scherzer can quietly sit in the 'pen and make the occasional spot start. The Dodgers run the risk of over exposing Kershaw in his youth with so few minor league starts on his resume and, all things considered, if I was a GM taking one or the other to build my rotation for the future, I'd take Scherzer by a wafer-thin margin.

Buy or sell Edinson Volquez and Cliff Lee as Cy Young winners?

Who saw this coming? The two men leading the ERA race in their respective leagues were both rotation afterthoughts, even in their own clubhouse.

Well, maybe in the case of Lee, tipped to have a bounce-back year on "Baseball Tonight" by Tim Kurkjian before a pitch was thrown and possessing an 18-win season on his resume, there was a hint of a big season to come at some point.

Volquez had come to Cincinnati in the Josh Hamilton deal, but was behind Homer Bailey and Johnny Cueto in the young pitching pecking order. He had nothing other than a couple of outstanding efforts (2007 vs. Oakland and 2006 vs. Seattle) on his record.

That said, the team was high on his potential and they can't be disappointed by what they've seen so far. His mid-90s fastball and changeup that takes off 20 mph has given him a whopping K total and an ERA of 1.31. The downside is he's walking too many (33 in 62 IP) and that will come back to bite him. He'll find it tough to keep this pace up over a long season with so few innings under his belt. Strong sell up against Carlos Zambrano, Jake Peavy, Brandon Webb, and Co.

Lefty Lee has always had the talent to make a frontline starter, but he wasn't able to build on a strong 2005 season. He's overcome his personal problems and the control problems he suffered during the last two seasons are behind him (9 walks in 66 IP). He'll likely put up a final ERA around 3.00-3.25, but that might be good enough if he can total around 20 wins. Moderate buy, but beware of John Lackey.

Buy or sell a Windy City World Series?

What's not to like about the Cubs, apart from Jason Marquis in the rotation and Jim Edmonds hobbling around center? They can flat-out hit (first in runs, average, OBP, and OPS in the NL and third in SLG) and the rotation is up there with Arizona's as the best in the league. The top three (Zambrano, Ted Lilly, and Ryan Dempster) will take some beating in a short series and Rich Hill should be back on track for October to be the fourth guy — an upgrade on Jon Lieber or Marquis. Eternal DL candidate Kerry Wood goes down as closer? No problem, meet Carlos Marmol and his 1.69 ERA. Strong buy.

The White Sox are a surprise in the confused AL Central as they reprise their 2005 season, with pitching covering the deficiencies of the offense. The pitching staff is second in ERA, fourth in BAA, second in OPS, third in WHIP, and lead the league at 9 (with Cleveland) in QS. That's sufficient for now, but for the long haul to October, the offense is going to have to kick in at some point to help out Carlos Quentin. Javier Vazquez, Jose Contreras, and Mark Buehrle are looking solid again and youngsters John Danks and Gavin Floyd have helped out. At some point, Cleveland and/or Detroit will get hot, so it's no given that the White Sox will even get out their division, let alone get past the Angels and Red Sox for the AL pennant. Strong sell.

Posted by Mike Round at 11:47 AM | Comments (0)

May 27, 2008

No Bang For Their Buck$

How a professional athlete can pocket such large amounts of cash for playing a boy's game is beyond comprehension. I understand some people on this earth may be worthy, such as scientists finding cutting-edge cures for fatal diseases, or computer programmers supplying the world's demand. Lucrative contracts are grossly increasing in this day and age of free agency with little accountability existing.

Although no athlete is worth such value, there are some "boys of summer" who take in outrageous fortunes and give back what they are worth: Chipper Jones, Lance Berkman, Dice-K, Carlos Zambrano, Aaron Rowand. All these fellows are taking in over $10 million a year, and are league leaders this season. They are, in essence, giving great bang for their bucks.

Then there are those who are generating ridiculous amounts of money and putting up atrocious stats not worthy of major league status. Some call this "highway robbery." The following players represent those who make their own team presidents and general managers appear horrible spenders and lousy eyes for talent. Actually, that's a huge understatement.

Although the baseball season is almost two months old, it's safe to say these players are not giving any bang for their bucks. Based on a minimum of 38 games played, here's a lineup of overpaid, underachieving baseballers for the first quarter of the 2008 campaign:

OF Andruw Jones — $14,726,910 for 2008 — This seasoned veteran is making the Dodgers look flat-out dumb. The perennial all-star in Atlanta has not adjusted well to the West Coast, and looks like he stole Tommy Lasorda's cook book right out of his kitchen, spending more time spring cooking than spring training. Jones' batting average is lower than his weight.

Stat line: .167, 2 HR, 7 RBIs

Quotable: "People think I'm relaxed and laid back. It's eating me up inside. I'm upset. I'm embarrassed."

OF Austin Kearns — $5,000,000 for 2008 — The Washington Nationals are trying desperately to find a superstar for their super-stadium, and the cash they've offered Kearns is simply not paying off.

Stat line: .187, 3 HR, 16 RBIs

Quotable: "I obviously expect a lot of myself, so I don't think you expect to go through something like this, but I think it's definitely something that's going to make you better in the long run."

OF Nick Swisher — $3,600,000 for 2008 — Like Jones, being traded from a comfortable situation to a bigger market never adds pressure to perform. Although Swisher got rid of his long hair for a valiant cause (wigs for cancer patients), it's clear he is suffering from the Sampson syndrome. His putrid season long slump only proves that it's in the hair.

Stat line: .213, 4 HR, 16 RBIs

Quotable: "I've had some bad luck for a while. I call it a case of the 'Adams,' where everything I hit is right 'at 'em.' But these guys have really picked me up, and I couldn't ask for more from teammates."

1B tie-Jason Giambi — $23,428,571 for 2008 — Perhaps the most overpaid of them all. This Yankee is tops when it comes to "no bang for your buck$." The former AL MVP has bipolar numbers at the plate. He ranks seventh in homers in the AL, yet is batting sub-.200. The least we can say is that he came clean about his steroid use, and his affinity for wearing a thong. Now that he's "clean," he hits like his brother, Jeremy, who is currently making $25 an hour for UPS.

Stat line: .191, 8 HR, 21 RBIs

Quotable: "No critic is worse on me than me; I can beat myself up pretty good."

1B tie-Ryan Howard — $10,000,000 for 2008 — To say that the Phillies slugger is struggling this year would be an understatement. The fact that Howard has been whiffing in front of the Philly home crowd, the most hostile of them all, doesn't make it any easier.

Stat line: .187, 10 HR, 25 RBIs

Quotable: “It definitely doesn't help when the fans kind of get on you, but at the same time, that's what happens when you sign a permission slip to play here in Philly."

2B Robinson Cano — $3,000,000 for 2008 — Easily the most forgivable of this overpaid lineup. The boys in the Yankees clubhouse merely chuckle at his measly $3 million a year. Fact is, Cano has been as bad as his flailing, overpaid teammates. The Yanks are struggling to get over .500 and nobody's pointing the finger at Cano. He just happens to be amongst the least productive two-baggers to be making too much dough.

Stat line: .204, 4 HR, 12 RBIs

3B Bill Hall — $4,925,000 for 2008 — The Brewers' third baseman had high expectations this year. Manager Ned Yost felt he would be an NL MVP candidate in spring training. Unfortunately, the second-year millionaire earned his way from the top to the bottom of the lineup, much like the Brewers in the standings. His home run and RBI totals are still respectable, but his batting average vs. right-handed pitching this year sits at .155.

Stat line: .199, 9 HR, 21 RBIs

SS Orlando Cabrera — $10,000,000 for 2008 — What was once the Red Sox's bargain has become the White Sox's burden. After Nomar Garciaparra's departure during the 2004 season, Cabrera quietly helped Boston to the World Series title. Now that he's changed Sox, Cabrera has the weight of a multi-million dollar contract and an outspoken coach who will try anything to get his team rolling, including body-sized blow-up dolls. His one error this year is on pace for "gold glove" status for 2008. However, his contract does not excuse his poor batting average (which is actually the best on this lineup).

Stat line: .225, 3 HR, 11 RBIs

C Josh Bard — $2,237,500 for 2008 — The Padres catcher is the epitome of the team's woes this year. In a year where catchers around the league are "en fuego," Bard's performance this year has been ice-cold. Of all the players listed on this article, Bard makes the least. In comparison to catchers around the majors, his batting average stinks.

Stat line: .202, 0 HR, 7 RBIs

P Barry Zito — $14,500,000 for 2008 — Zito, the AL Cy Young winner in 2002, has gone from bad to worse this season. The former 23-game winner for Oakland can't buy a win and is setting futility records for the Giants organization at a rapid pace. His demotion to the bullpen (although he was never called upon) marks a new low for Zito. Add to the fact that the Giants hit with toothpicks and it means the near future doesn't look any brighter. At least he has hard-luck cohort Matt Cain for console.

Stat line: 6.25 ERA, 0-8 record

Quotable: "From my standpoint, this is a bump in the road, and it's a big bump. It's a battle. It's stuff that I've gone through, but there hasn't been the scrutiny around it because of the market or the contract. But I've gone through this."

P Kenny Rogers — $8,000,000 for 2008 — Time to duck if you're a cameraman in the greater Detroit area. If you're an opposing batter, time to take your hacks at this overpaid veteran. After shining a couple seasons ago for the former AL champions, Rogers doesn't intimidate anyone. He's fortunate to have 3 wins under his belt, unlike Zito; yet his ERA shows he's not even close to the form that earned him praise as a top-flight pitcher in 2006.

Stat line: 6.65 ERA, 3-4 record

P Miguel Batista — $9,500,000 for 2008 — The Mariners threw some serious cash to create a pitching staff that would hopefully make Seattle an upper-tier team that would compete with the Angels in the AL West. Between Batista and Jarrod Washburn's hefty contracts, one would think the M's would compliment Ichiro and Richie Sexson's bat prowess. So far, all four have failed to thrive. Hence, the Mariners are nowhere near competing for the postseason ... again.

Stat line: 6.11 ERA, 3-5 record

Closer Jason Isringhausen — $8,000,000 for 2008 — It's well-know that the closer is a totally different animal. In fact, closers warrant the term "freak" since the role was created. Isringhausen defines the term well of late. The successful closer is known to often pump his fist or even become emotionally ecstatic beyond protocol. The chronically unsuccessful closer Isringhausen hit a new low. In fact, he hit a television ... his own manager's television. Ouch. But with the money he's making, he should be able to buy Tony LaRussa a 100-inch plasma with all the fixings. Of late, he's on the disabled list ... for mental reasons.

Stat line: 8.00 ERA, 1-5 record, 11 saves, 6 blown saves

Quotable: "I'm out of answers, out of excuses so to speak. We've just got to go to the next step, whatever that might be."

DH Gary Sheffield — $13,326,306 for 2008 — To be an overpaid designated hitter is as low as you can go. All you're paid to do is half the game: hit the ball and hit it well. Not so for this outspoken journeyman. Tigers manager Jim Leyland should have Sheffield catch in the bullpen or shine shoes to earn his pay. The oft-injured slugger has been more than sluggish.

Stat line: .180, 2 HR, 8 RBIs

Quotable: "The owners have the right to pay you whatever they want to. They don't have to pay you if they don't want to."

Dishonorable Mentions

DH Jim Thome — $15,666,666 — .203, 7 HR, 23 RBIs
1B Richie Sexson — $15,500,000 — .200, 7 HR, 18 RBIs

There you have it. The low-ball no-stars, the no bang for their buck$, the crumb de la creme, the Hall of Shame Class of 2008. The faces only their mothers could love. The last picks at recess.

The reality of these high-priced athletes is that half of this "no bang" lineup will be elected all-stars by the fans. Go figure.

Posted by Jon Gonzales at 11:55 AM | Comments (4)

Home Cooking Vital in These Playoffs

The importance of the NBA's regular season is often trivialized. Critics say that it goes on too long, players take games off and don't play with full intensity, and too many bad teams are allowed to qualify for the playoffs anyway. This year has been different, however. Not because the regular season has been more spectacular than in the past (although you can make the case that it has), but those regular season records have determined the current home court advantage situation for these playoffs.

And this year home court is everything. Everything.

So much so that the 37-45 Atlanta Hawks exited these playoffs with an unblemished 3-0 home record and a local bandwagon that suddenly weighs thousands of fans heavier. The mighty Celtics were no match for the raucous Atlanta crowd that turned marginal Joe Johnson into the second coming of 'Nique and then some. Yet none of the games the Hawks played in Boston saw them even dare to pull up close to the enigmatic team in green. They came closest in Game 2 where they were "only" blown-out by 19.

The Game 7 finale of this series was a predictable 99-65 massacre that ended in the third quarter with Kevin Garnett's gratuitous, demolishing pick set on Zaza Pachulia to settle several earlier scores within the series. Message sent: Kevin Garnett takes things personal in the playoffs.

So why then, would he allow a team which he is clearly the emotional leader of, to drop all six road games through two seven-game playoff series in which Boston clearly appeared to be the better team against both opponents? Certainly, there was no evidence this would happen to Boston judging by their regular season road record, which was the best in the league. The answer may very well be laziness.

Celtics coach Doc Rivers had mentioned following game four of this Hawks series that, "I could hear them in the locker room saying 'hey, guys, don't worry, we go back home and everything will be okay' and I said 'listen, you got to go make it okay, don't just rely on going home.'"

This is a troubling quote that may somewhat explain the Celtics' lackluster tendencies on the road. With home court advantage throughout the playoffs, winning each home game and losing each road game in a standard 2-2-1-1-1 playoff series does not put Boston in a greatly threatened position until a must-win Game 7 at home or until the Finals, which changes to the riskier 2-3-2 format.

In the following series against Cleveland, the road losses were almost forgivable considering it was King James' court they had entered upon and the Cavaliers stifling defense rivaled Boston's own. And yet even so, the Cavaliers were still without three-point sniper "Boobie" Gibson for Game 6 and managed to win.

This led to a tempting of fate. Cleveland did bring their A-game into Boston for Game 7, or more specifically, LeBron James brought his A-game. As one of the great duels in recent playoff memory unfolded, the New Garden staff would have suited their fans well by equipping each seat with an oxygen mask. Few expected Paul Pierce to step up and score 41 points to rival LeBron's 46, otherwise we would now be seeing a rematch of last year's Eastern Conference Finals.

As the Celtics finally pulled away from Cleveland that Sunday afternoon, I had a feeling they were not out of the woods. Sure, they survived elimination again, but the Pistons team that followed was 3-2 on the road and had been through the wars. Certainly, they would be the first to steal one on Boston's home court from a weary Celts team already playing in its 15th and 16th playoff games, respectively. Then yours truly decided that was what it would take for the Celtics to finally end their road woes. The realization they were no longer in the drivers' seat would unleash true playoff intensity and finally lead to a road win in Detroit.

Well, unfortunately, I cannot prove these were my thoughts before the series, so you will have to take me on my word, but the series has turned out thus far exactly that way, with the Pistons making every shot imaginable and effectively putting out that smarmy cigar smoked by the leprechaun at half-court, followed by the Celtics senselessly pounding the Motor City into submission from the opening tip in Game 3.

So where was that playoff intensity during all their other playoff road games in Atlanta and Cleveland? Again, the answer lies in laziness and the sometimes fickle and unreliable nature of the competitive human spirit.

Granted, this also may have had much to do with the injury hampering point guard Chauncey Billups, their on-court leader. Now that Boston has finally proven it can win a road game, the Pistons are in considerable danger of losing Game 4 at home, as well, and going out quickly and quietly.

While the Celtics may be the best example of home court dominance and road shakiness during the playoffs, they are far from the only one. Going into the conference finals, three of the four remaining teams were also undefeated at home. The Lakers and Spurs are now both 7-0 at home, while the Celtics reached 9-0 before dropping Game 2 to Detroit. Both the Lakers and Spurs have had limited road success, winning tough close-out games away from home, but also struggling mightily, as well.

All in all, home teams in this year's playoffs are 55-19 as of now, prior to Celtics/Pistons Game 4, for a staggering 74% success rate at home, including one stretch in the conference semis where the home team was 22-1 before the Lakers and Spurs broke through with poised and highly impressive performances in Utah and New Orleans respectively to end their series.

If you can remember back to the beginning of the NBA season, a popular commercial on ESPN often aired in which "The Big Three" of Garnett, Pierce, and Ray Allen on the ESPN bus enjoyed a viewing of Hoosiers (alongside a misty-eyed Jeff Van Gundy). It was in this movie that Hickory High coach Norman Dale famously measured the height of the rims at the state championship game and width and length of the court to make a point. It's still the same game being played. It appears that lesson may have finally sunk in for the Celtics two nights ago.

Perhaps the rest of the league could learn a thing or two from old Hickory High, as well.

Posted by Bill Hazell at 11:50 AM | Comments (0)

May 26, 2008

The Top 10 Cities For Hockey Fans

As you peer through the list, you may think, what? No San Jose? No Anaheim? No Dallas? Well, I'm sorry, but I don't think you can really be a hockey fan and want to live in a city where there is no such thing as winter, hence, the cities below, do have winter and great hockey to watch.

10. New York City

There are practically three NHL teams in the city with the Rangers (who made the playoffs), the Islanders (who did not), and the New Jersey Devils (who did, as well). I mean the Devils play in Newark, which is a whole 10 miles away. The New York Football Giants and the Jets don't even play in New York State, they're in East Rutherford, NJ, so not much difference between cheering for the Devils or the Giants. So, however unlikely it seems, New York City would be a good place for a winter hockey vacation.

9. Calgary

The Flames had a good year this year and if Miikka Kiprusoff can keep up the good work in net, and Jarome Iginla puts up the numbers he did this past year (50 goals, 48 assists, and 9 game-winners), the Flames are going to be a great team for many years to come.

8. Montreal

While the Canadiens blew it this season, there is a rich tradition in Montreal that exists very few places in other NHL cities. Very few of those other cities are in as good of shape currently as Montreal. With the veteran presence of Alex Kovalev and the up-and-coming talent of Tomas Plekanec, the Canadiens could put on a pretty good show in the next few years.

7. Denver

The Avalanche are an exciting team to watch. With wile veterans like Peter Forsberg and Joe Sakic, the Avs always have a chance to win and there is a very extensive fan base rocking the Pepsi Center every night they get the chance. Denver is also home to Denver Pioneers hockey, who were third in the WCHA this season. The WCHA regular season champion, the Colorado College Tigers, are located in Colorado Springs, just south of Denver. Two great college hockey programs and a solid NHL team put Denver at number seven.

6. Buffalo

The Outdoor Hockey Classic would be enough to put Buffalo in the top 10. But people in Buffalo are not just Sabres fans. They are hockey fans. I saw a report that showed in last year's Stanley Cup Final, the Buffalo area gave the game higher ratings than either network that was in the game (Anaheim and Ottawa). That is just ridiculous. There must be some amazing hockey bar scenes perhaps worth a look in Buffalo.

5. Boston

While there is so much noise about the Patriots, the Red Sox, and the Celtics, the Bruins get lost a bit in there. They're a good hockey team who unfortunately gets ignored by the over-stimulated Boston sports fans. Also, Boston College won the NCAA men's hockey championship this year, so there's a lot of goodness going on in Boston. Since all the other sports fans are distracted by baseball, football, and basketball, it should be easy for hockey fans to enjoy their successful hockey programs with like-minded hockey fanatics.

4. Detroit

I think the Penguins will top the Red Wings this season, but the Wings have been consistently amazing for the past 15 seasons. They're in the playoffs and often favored to win it all, and have in 2001-02, 1997-98, and 1996-97.

The reason "Hockeytown, USA" isn't any higher on this list is due to the city's struggle to sell-out regular season games. While that could be good for hockey fans to see as many games as they want, with a slightly lower demand. A sold-out stadium of hardcore fans is much more enjoyable than a stadium of nearly full, not quite as hardcore fans.

The Red Wings are a great hockey team and the college hockey in the area isn't so bad, either. This past year, both the Michigan Wolverines and the Michigan State Spartans were among the top teams in all of college hockey. While Michigan Tech (a no-name in any other sport) is also a close-by Division I competitor.

3. Edmonton

The Edmonton Oilers aren't the NHL's most prized Canadian team, but they are generally contenders in the playoff hunt. What makes Edmonton so great is that they have the best team in the most underrated and virtually unknown college hockey league in the world. The University of Alberta Golden Bears have won the University Cup (awarded to the Canadian Inter-University Sports Hockey Champion) five times in the past 10 years. Every season, this team plays the rookies from the Edmonton Oilers and they won every year from 2001-2005. There is some good hockey to be seen up in Edmonton.

2. Pittsburgh

While I believe the Penguins will go on to win Lord Stanley's Cup, that is not the only reason to be in Pittsburgh as a hockey fan. Sidney Crosby could very well be the NHL's savior.

In April SC's Sean Crowe wrote an article entitled "Why the NHL is Dead" in which he rates hockey as number six among sports that the average sports fan will watch — after NFL, NBA, MLB, NASCAR, and the PGA. I do not disagree with Crowe on this point. The average sports fan is missing out on the gloriousness that is hockey and one can only hope the Crosby will be a path to show a new generation how amazing hockey is.

I know hockey fans know how amazing Crosby is. When I wanted to get tickets for the Penguins at Wild game in October, prices on Craigslist were triple or more that of any other game. Crosby already is an amazing player and I can only hope that he can lead the NHL out of its poor standing in the minds of the average sports fan, and to be in Pittsburgh to see it would be quite the treat.

1. Saint Paul

While the Wild are not a perennial powerhouse as of yet, they are a team of growing young talent with one of the NHL's most underrated, exciting players in Marian Gaborik. They also have one of the best, if not the best hockey arena in the NHL. The Xcel Energy Center is an absolutely amazing place to watch hockey and the fans know their hockey.

Beyond the NHL, the University of Minnesota Golden Gopher hockey teams have been toward the top of the WCHA for many years. Then there are the other four Minnesota schools in the WCHA who are no slouches themselves (exception: Bemidji), Bemidji State (women's only); University of Minnesota-Duluth; Saint Cloud State; and Minnesota State University, Mankato. So if you grew up in Mankato, Bemidji, Duluth or Saint Cloud, and just happen to live in the Twin Cities, it's very easy to catch a game of your favorite college team.

But what really puts Saint Paul over the top of any other city is the attitude of the whole state toward hockey. Hockey is not just a professional sport or even a college-pro tandem. Hockey is a way of life for many Minnesotans and it starts at a very young age. In 2006, the Minnesota State high school boys' hockey tournament averaged over 18,000 fans per contest, all but selling out the Xcel Energy Center. That type of commitment to and passion for hockey is not found anywhere else. Minnesota truly is the "State of Hockey" and Saint Paul is where the action is at its best.

Posted by Andrew Jones at 11:08 AM | Comments (16)

May 24, 2008

Secrets of the 2008 NFL Season

* Tony Romo connects with Jason Witten 83 times on the season, 84 if you count their Mexican vacation rendezvous during a bye week. While there, they are joined by faux R&B crooner Nick Lachey, and the three are photographed skinny-dipping in an inflatable pool.

* In a preseason game in Toronto in August, Pittsburgh defensive end Brett Keisel is penalized for a late hit on Buffalo quarterback Trent Edwards. Later in the game, Keisel is engaged by former Toronto Maple Leafs goon Tie Domi, who beats Keisel to a pulp before linesmen intervene. Keisel, known more for his finesse that his physicality, has trouble from the start, fumbling to get his gloves off, then becoming totally incapacitated when Domi pulls Keisel's shoulder pads over his head.

* To his growing collection of rings obtained in 2008, which includes a Super Bowl ring and a wedding ring, Eli Manning adds a nipple ring, a souvenir of a drunken night out the town with teammate Jeremy Shockey. Afterwards, Shockey confides to Manning that he'd like to be traded, seemingly discontented with his status, much like that of former Cowboy Larry Brown and current Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, as a player who has won a Super Bowl ring for doing absolutely nothing.

* Matt Leinart, experiencing some down time due to a sore groin, invents a variation of the whirlpool machine, a product he calls the "Sub-ma-weiner." The contraption, which is essentially a whirlpool machine that seats eight, also features a full bar and seven sets of underwater breathing gear. The gear, dubbed "SCUBA" by a chuckling Leinart, stands for "Self-Contained Underwater Blowing Apparatus," and comes standard on all "Sub-ma-weiner" whirlpools.

* St. Louis Rams first round pick Chris Long quickly impresses in the first half of the season with six sacks, stunning many offensive linemen with his quickness and relentlessness, reminding many of his father, Raiders great Howie Long. It's not until a November 9 game at the Jets that an offensive lineman appears to find the secret to blocking Long. Jets offensive tackle D'Brickashaw Ferguson holds Long to no sacks and no tackles, and credits film study of Howie Long for his success. Ferguson professes that after viewing tape of the elder Long, particularly as an analyst with the FOX Network, he notices that Long always turned to jelly in the presence of weather girl/eye candy Jillian Barberie. A craftily placed picture of Barberie on Ferguson's visor incapacitates the rookie, and Long, just like his father, turns into a bumbling idiot anytime he sees Barberie.

* Recently retired Packers quarterback Brett Favre, after viewing the blockbuster action flick Iron Man, experiences a startling revelation — that Robert Downey, Jr. would probably make a better quarterback than Aaron Rogers.

* On December 14th, in blizzard conditions at Arrowhead Stadium, San Diego's Antonio Cromartie returns a wobbly, snow-repelled punt by the Chiefs' Dustin Colquitt one yard for a touchdown, thereby giving him not only the longest return touchdown in NFL history, but also the shortest.

* Upper Deck introduces its new "LaDainian Tomlinson Playoff Action Figure," which features Tomlinson dejectedly sitting on the bench with his knee wrapped, cursing the name of the New England Patriots.

* The Browns go 11-5 to win the AFC North and secure the No. 3 seed. In an AFC Divisional game in Foxboro in January, Derek Anderson leads a fourth quarter drive to set up a 49-yard field goal attempt by Phil Dawson for the win. Dawson's kick has the distance, but the ball hits a camera mounted on the goal post's support bar and bounces into the end zone. The Patriots win 23-21, adding to a growing list of playoff games won with the benefit of a camera.

* After moving from left defensive end to the right, Carolina's Julius Peppers abruptly withdraws his presidential support for Barack Obama and alligns himself with Republican John McCain. Peppers inexplicably is named a starter to the Pro Bowl in January, despite registering fewer sacks than Minnesota's Jared Allen, New York's Osi Umenyiora, and Seattle's Patrick Kerney.

* In an effort to make fans forget about 2005's embarrassing "Sex Boat" scandal, safeties Darren Sharper and Madieu Williams head the day-long "Vikings Care: Boat Safeties" workshop on Lake Minnetonka in August. The event is a huge success, attracting a turnout of 102,381, of which 102,379 are male, although most go home disappointed when it becomes apparent that the workshop actually is about boat safety, and not about how to manage strippers at sea level, with "sea" meaning "waist."

* All Indianapolis Colts radio and television on-air personnel are ordered to take sensitivity training to ensure that, when describing passes from Peyton Manning to Marvin Harrison, the phrase "fired a bullet" is not to be used.

* Raiders coach Lane Kiffin, frustrated with the meddling ways of Al Davis, issues an ultimatum to Davis in August, demanding that Davis fire him or die. Kiffin is fired immediately.

* Atlanta Falcons rookie quarterback Matt Ryan enjoys a successful season, starting the Falcons' final six games and throwing 11 touchdown passes. However, his business undertakings don't fare as well, particularly his venture into the popcorn field, unfortunately called "Bad Newz Kernels."

* In November, Denver Broncos running back Travis Henry fathers his 10th child and reaches a monumental personal milestone, as that 10th child's mother is also the mother of Henry's seventh child, the first instance of Henry fathering two children with the same mother.

"I thought that was only possible by having twins," quips Henry.

In December, Henry fails a drug test and is criticized by Broncos coach Mike Shanahan, who accuses Henry of being selfish, and showing the same amount of disdain for the NFL's drug policy as he does for birth control, and garnished wages.

* Tom Brady, who, in May, compared ESPN to MTV, hosts the 2009 ESPY Awards, and, during his initial monologue, is slimed, Nickelodeon-style, with buckets of green goo. Infuriated, Brady then uses his good looks, charm, and demonic, telekinetic powers to lock the doors of the Kodak Theater and set it ablaze, burning to death numerous athletes and entertainment icons, including John Travolta. Brady spares a few ESPN employees, including Sage Steel, Rachel Nichols, Melissa Stark, and Bonnie Bernstein.

Later, outside the scorched theater, Brady presents Patriots head coach with a lifetime achievement award in the field of unethical practices, an award known as the "ESPY-onage."

* Gatorade unveils its much anticipated new product, "Gatorade Water," with a media blitz starring Peyton Manning, who cements his status as professional sports' greatest endorser by successfully pimping a product available to practically all consumers with a clever slogan of "You're already 3/4 full of it. Why not be totally full of it? I am."

* At the October 26th Chargers/Saints contest at London's Wembley Stadium, rowdy British fans witness sloppy play that results in nine turnovers, 11 counting the two suffered by husky-voiced singer Amy Winehouse, who fumbles the lyrics to the "Star Spangled Banner" prior to the game, then fumbles her crack pipe after the game. Later, Saints star Reggie Bush meets his family, enjoying a luxury suite at Buckingham Palace courtesy of some well-connected USC boosters.

* The Giants Michael Strahan returns for his 16th season when former Packer quarterback Brett Favre lays down before a one-year contract, which Strahan pounces on.

* New Dallas cornerback Pacman Jones quickly endears himself to the Cowboys faithful, returning a punt for a touchdown in Dallas' 28-24 win over Philadelphia in their home opener on September 15th. Jones enjoys a career season, at least up until Week 15, when he is arrested for "ignorant exposure" and stealing a key chain at the "Texas Gun and Stripper Show" at the Texas State Fairgrounds.

* The New England Patriots win Super Bowl XLIII, beating the Dallas Cowboys, 31-23.

* Under Armour, seeking to smother consumers with its ever-expanding apparel market, teams up with The Food Network to produce grilling aprons and caps bearing the Under Armour logo and patented moisture-wicking capabilities. Under Armour also partners with furniture giant Rooms To Go, where the "Look Like An Athlete, Even Though You're Not" room design quickly becomes a top-seller.

* Randy Moss' new Craftsman truck racing team sports the longest team name in NASCAR racing history, the lengthily, yet aptly titled "'Fro's, Cornrows, Ho's, and Mo Fo's On Pit Row," and makes a splashy debut at Martinsville on October 18. There, Moss' truck, driven by Willie T. Ribbs, Jr., finishes on the lead lap in 19th place. Unfortunately, the No. 81 car is disqualified when a post-race inspection reveals that Moss' truck exceeds the weight limit, most likely the result of three audio speakers with 16" woofers stashed in the truck's bed.

* The Carolina Panther Cheerleaders 2008 season calendar goes on sale in June and sells briskly. The calendar, titled "The Top Cats Brand Spanking New 2008 Season Calendar" features the Top Cats in provocative poses in various bathroom stalls throughout the Charlotte area. October's photo is particularly sensual, depicting two gorgeous cheerleaders in their Halloween costumes, each wearing the face of the other.

In a related note, Panther quarterback Jake Delhomme, a huge fan of the Top Cats, makes a strong return from last year's injury, with his elbow at full-strength, and then some. Delhomme throws for 4,100 yards and 36 touchdowns, 14 to Steve Smith, and the Panthers win the NFC South with a 10-6 record.

* Chad Johnson, after scoring on a 80-yard bomb from Carson Palmer on the first play from scrimmage in the Bengals' preseason opener against Green Bay, celebrates with a new and well-practiced routine he calls the "Hissy Fit." Johnson then demands a trade, a plane to Casablanca, $1.5 million in unmarked bills of low denomination, and a tender shoulder to cry on.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:08 AM | Comments (1)

May 22, 2008

Meltdowns and Sordid Spelling Bees

One of the more under-appreciated elements of sports, because it's a psychological part we can all relate to, is the meltdown.

I don't mean the the bad-tempered brand of meltdown, like Ryan Leaf going off an a reporter. I mean anti-momentum. Where at some point in the game, usually because of a very specific event, one athlete or team completely loses the plot. I'm not talking about choke jobs, but something more sustained.

The main reason meltdowns are under-appreciated is because they are usually represented by the more positive angle — in 1993 when the Bills beat the Oilers 41-38 after being down 35-3 in the second half, we don't refer to it as the worst meltdown of all-time, but the greatest comeback of all-time. The only person or event I can think of that is framed in the negative is Jana Novotna.

Remember her? Czech Tennis player? 1993 Wimbledon Final? I'll let Wikipedia tell it:

"Novotna took a 6-7, 6-1, 4-1, 40-15 lead. With victory seemingly in her grasp, she lost her nerve and began missing easy shots, sometimes hitting the ball out by wide margins (including an infamous overhead smash that hit the back tarp). Graf took the next five games and the title. During the prize presentation ceremony, a distraught Novotna burst into tears and cried on the Duchess of Kent's shoulder."

In the space of eight days, however, I have been lucky enough to witness to excruciating sports meltdowns with an obvious trigger.

First was yesterday, at the Toulon U-23 soccer tournament, held annually in France. The hosts have won this tournament the last four years, and for their first match in this edition, France faced Chile. While it's never a good idea to underestimate a South American side in soccer, the drop-off is pretty considerable after Brazil and Argentina ... at least in comparison to the the European heavies, like, well, France, at home, looking for a five-peat.

For the first half and the beginning of the second, the match went as you might expect ... two quick goals by France, and a third after Chile got one back. Then, in the 54th minute, one of the French midfielders made such a poor, dangerous, studs-up tackle that the result was an unsurprising red card. Chile was able to parlay the ensuing set piece into a goal that cut the lead to 3-2.

If you fell asleep and woke up at full-time 40 minutes later, you would scarcely believe the score-line. Chile ended up putting five past the French for the 5-3 victory.

Talk about anti-momentum. Watching, I didn't get the impression France couldn't score. I did get the impression that when Chile maintained possession, the only thing that could stop them from scoring is if they failed to execute. France was taken off-guard by the send-off, and on top of being unprepared to face the challenge of playing a man down, became entirely afraid to play defense. The match should be recorded and shown in all Sports Psychology 101 classes.

They can play it along with a tape of something that happened Tuesday the 13th. I was home from work that morning, and the only live sport available to me was the Hamburg Masters of Tennis. The Center Court match when I tuned in was native son and underdog Philipp Kohlschreiber against top 20 player Tommy Robredo. The announcers mused that Kohlschreiber's only shot of winning would come if he could parlay the crowd and the home-court advantage the fullest.

The likable kid Kohlschreiber did indeed win the first set, capturing the imagination of the crowd, the announcers ("He's just doing everything right") and me. His momentum continued in the second set, where he won a break point to go up 4-2 after Robredo hit a shot called long down 40-30 (which Tennis Channel technology confirmed).

But the chair umpire wasn't so sure. He walked over to the marking (it was clay), declared the ball in, and awarded the point to Robredo. Deuce.

What happened next made me extremely pleased that they mic the chair umpires.

"No!," protested Kohlschreiber, who was sure the umpire looked at the wrong mark. The umpire ambled back over and, surprisingly, decided Kohlschreiber was right, and awarded him the point and therefore the break. Now it's Robredo who will need to cope.

The umpire walked over to the net and said something like, "Tommy, I'm sorry. I got the wrong mark. It was out. I am awarding the point to Philipp. I made a mistake, it was my fault, and I apologize. But the ball was out.

Robredo took the decision calmly in terms of demeanor but not in terms of action. "You called it in, it's in. That's the end of it. You call it in, it's in." "But I made a mistake." "Doesn't matter. You called it in, it's in." Ultimately, they had to call in some sort of officiating judge, who joined the summit at the net. We could hear as the umpire accurately explained the situation.

Surprisingly (to me, I am not up on tennis rules nuances), the judge sided with Robredo, saying you can't reverse a call on player appeal. Robredo was again awarded the point.

A swirl of whistles emanated from the crowd when the decision was announced, and Kohlschreiber, not involved in the conference, once again had to head over and state his case. Which he did. "This wasn't a player appeal! The initial call was out. You reversed the initial call, I didn't."

"He's right," said the announcers, and the officiating judge was summoned a second time. Now both players, the ump, and the judge all tried to hammer out the right thing to do, and it was ultimately decided to replay the point. Which is a neutral decision on one level but on a more meaningful level favors Robredo. The delay lasted six and a half minutes.

Do I even need to tell you that Kohlschreiber lost the do-over point, lost the game, lost the set, and lost the match?

***

One of my favorite bloggers at the moment, Vegas Watch, points out that an online sportsbook has laid out a few prop bets regarding the upcoming Scripps National Spelling Bee.

VW seems surprised by this, but as a former speller myself, I can tell you that bees have an underside more seamy and corrupt than any other sport, and have for decades, thanks to gambling.

The bookies, pushers, and pimps started coming around the moment I started to show a little bit of spelling ability. I think my fourth-grade teacher, Mrs. Henning, tipped them off. I nailed "recognizance" one day in class, and the next thing I know, Mrs. H has a new necklace and I'm getting phone calls from people describing themselves as "agents" and asking questions like how many hours a night was I studying.

I tried to ignore them for awhile, but once you start going deep in city, state, and regional bees, there's no getting away from it. You just try and hang onto someone who seems slightly less slimy than the rest.

The sleaze-bag I latched myself onto was a quiet guy in an old, dirty leather jacket names Lester. Yeah, I threw bees for Lester. I'm not proud. But he took care of me. While he explained that there was nothing he could do to get Becky Turner to notice me (at least not in a genuine, non-coerced way), he could make me feel better about her not noticing me. And when Scott Brinkermeyer, the boy she had eyes for, turned up murdered, his body badly mutilated, I did feel better.

Other bribes we not so sensational but still pleasant ... money, video games, Now & Laters.

After awhile, you become inured to it. I would endorse dodgy dictionaries by fly-by-night publishers. Lester would try to protect me from rival spellers and their "associates" who would try to steal or vandalize my study guides.

I was jaded, but not hopeless. The turning point for me was when I witnessed one of my competitors take a hot iron to the face from his pusher for misspelling "couturiere" during a training session.

This sort of treatment, of course, is only acceptable from parents.

So I got out. Glad I did. Now I can't spell, I won't spell, I refuse to. And I'm trying to protect my own children from sliding down the same path. By refusing to teach them the alphabet.

Posted by Kevin Beane at 11:50 AM | Comments (0)

May 21, 2008

NBA Western Conference Finals Preview

Also see: NBA Eastern Conference Finals Preview

I have this theory that anything on TV becomes 25-50% more watchable if it is available in HD. Because of HD, I feel like Sigourney Weaver and I are somewhat friends because I've spent so much time listening to her hypnotically monotone narration of the "Planet Earth" series.

Because of HD, I'm fairly certain that I could be a homicide detective after watching roughly 100 episodes of "The First 48" on A&E, assuming I can get my mustache to grow in full enough.

And because of HD, I stumbled across one of the most perplexing shows on TV right now: "Mythbusters." If you haven't seen it, it is basically three obnoxious weirdos trying to prove whether various urban legends are true or not. It is the kind of show that under no circumstances would I watch even a minute of in standard definition. But because it's in HD, I find myself actually following closely along thinking things like, "You know what, I have always wanted to know if the wind from a jet engine could blow over a taxi cab."

What exactly does this have to do with the Western Conference Finals? One, they will be in HD, so there is no reason not to watch. And secondly, I have seen the light and decided to break down the Lakers and Spurs series, "Mythbusters"-style.

Myth: The Spurs Are Boring

This might be my biggest pet peeve in basketball right now. Can someone explain how just the thought the Pistons and Spurs scoring in the 80s makes for a boring NBA finals, but when the Celtics and Cavaliers do, it it's a "slugfest?"

When did efficiency become synonymous with boring? For 10 years now, I've listened to everyone and their brother say that San Antonio is boring to watch, and I can't figure it out. Do these people even watch Spurs games?

What is boring about watching a team execute time and again on both sides of the floor in clutch situations? What is boring about watching Tony Parker run the one-man fast break to perfection? Manu Ginobili is the most creative and improvisational player in the game right now, what's boring about that?

It is their "boring" style of play that may lull the Lakers to sleep and give the Spurs the upper hand in this series. The Lakers like to shoot pretty early in the shot clock and get out and run as much as possible. If the Spurs can slow the pace of this series and minimize the amount of possessions the Lakers get per game, they have a real chance of winning.

Myth: Kobe Shoots Too Much

You'll always hear this one because no matter what he does there will always be people out there that want to bash Kobe Bryant as a person and a player. The fact is Kobe does shoot a lot, but why shouldn't he? Someone has to take the most shots on his team. As a coach, wouldn't you want that person to be the best player on the planet?

Look at it this way: Kobe averaged 20.6 field goal attempts per game. LeBron averaged 21.8. The last few years when Kobe had no help surrounding him, he shot a lot and was labeled as selfish and a ball-hog. This year LeBron has no help and he shoots a lot and no one bats an eye.

Here is another example to dispel the myth that Kobe shoots too much. This season, he led the league in field goal attempts for the third time in his career. Michael Jordan led the league nine times. Wilt Chamberlain led the league seven times. Allen Iverson led the league four times.

When each of those stars led the league in shots, he was one of the most prolific scorers in the league. Great scorers should shoot the ball.

If you want proof that the Lakers are better when Kobe shoots the ball, take Game 6 of the Utah series for example. The Lakers blew a double-digit lead in the fourth quarter because Kobe was differing to his teammates. With about six minutes left in the game and the lead diminishing, Kobe took over, scored the next 11 points, and put the Jazz away. All because he decided it was time to shoot.

Myth: Phil Jackson is Overrated

The big myth concerning Uncle Phil is that he only has all of his titles because he coached Jordan and then Shaq and Kobe.

Every title team has all-time great players on their team. That's why they win titles. There will never be a shortage of all-time greats in the league at any one time. Right now, there are no fewer than 15 future Hall of Fame players in the league. They won't all win titles.

In his coaching career, Red Auerbach coached 11 different players that made it to the hall of fame. By my count, Phil has only coached four Hall of Famers in his career: Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Shaq, and Kobe (six if you count coaching washed up Karl Malone and Gary Payton). Since they both have nine rings, using the logic that coaching great players makes you overrated, then I guess Red Auerbach is wildly overrated.

No one would ever say that about Red, so how can you say it about Phil?

Myth: The Spurs Aren't a Dynasty

Can we settle this once and for all? Winning back-to-back titles isn't what qualifies a team as a dynasty. To me, nothing says dynasty like consistently being the team to beat year in and year out. There hasn't been a single season since their title in 1999 that the Spurs haven't been a legitimate championship contender. Winning consecutive titles is impressive, but so is a decade of basketball at the highest level.

Myth: The Spurs Can't Win Back to Back Titles

Unfortunately for San Antonio, this myth turns out to be true. For whatever reason, the Spurs have not been able to seal the deal on even numbered years. It's far from a curse, more of a series of freak occurrences, but it is real. And it doesn't look like the Spurs are going to buck the trend this year.

As much as I like and respect the Spurs game, I think the Lakers are just too good. The Spurs present some match up problems for the Lakers, namely who's going to guard Duncan and Parker, but they are the same problems that Utah presented and the Lakers handled them just fine.

Offensively, the Lakers have been virtually unstoppable since Gasol arrived. The inside presence that he has compliments the perimeter game that Kobe has so well that it is nearly impossible to focus the defense on stopping one facet of the Lakers game. Add that to the fact that they always have at least three formidable three-point shooters on the floor at all times and the Lakers' offense may be the best in the league.

The chess match both in-game and between games between Pop's defense and Jackson's offense is going to be fun to watch, but in the end, the Lakers are more talented, hungrier, and peaking at just the right time.

It is no longer a myth that the Spurs will not win consecutive titles. It is a fact.

Lakers in seven.

Posted by Scott Shepherd at 11:57 AM | Comments (1)

The Western Experience

If you're a fan of comedic genius, then you loved "Spaceballs." For me, it holds a special place in my heart because it was the first Mel Brooks movie I had ever seen. I laughed when I first saw it as a child, and I still laugh at it today as an adult. Rick Moranis was in his comedic apex, John Candy was, well John Candy, and even Eddie Murphy made a guest appearance.

During San Antonio's Game 7 win over New Orleans, I grew nostalgic for my old buddy. Not because the game was a laugh, but for one specific scene that seemed to intertwine with what I was watching on the court.

When Princess Vespa and company are in the desert sleeping, the Princess believes to hear her father, King Roland calling out to her. When she finally reaches her father, we find out it is actually Lord Helmet using the Schwartz. Princess Vespa falls into his arms as Lord Helmet yells out, "fooled you!"

The Spurs are Lord Helmet and we are all Princess Vespa. When the postseason brackets were set up, most had the Spurs pegged for a first round exit, or, at best, a Western Conference Finals exit. No one had them in the Finals.

Most felt the Spurs were a year older, a season slower. Against the Suns, the Spurs stole Game 1 after shocking defense down the stretch by the Suns. Then as they do every postseason, they shifted gears and burned the Suns.

Next came the Hornets.

After Games 1 and 2, once again we all assumed they were done. I mean, how could anyone, after getting blown-out in two consecutive games, come back?

We didn't realize this was the Spurs. San Antonio fought back to even the series and with their collective backs against the wall in Game 6, they won. Then in Game 7, they showed why they are the defending champs.

Playing in a locale that has been outright unruly to opponents in the postseason, the Spurs played the way they always play in the postseason. They got their opponent out of what they are comfortable doing, made them play Spurs basketball, hunkered down on defense, and won. It may just be coincidence, but it seems the mantra "Just Win, Baby" for another silver and black franchise may be more suited for this NBA team.

At the beginning of the year, with last year's playoffs still fresh in my mind, I picked the Spurs to win it all. Then, as I watched them falter in the regular season, as they seem to do every year, I swayed from that prediction and believed the Spurs would not repeat.

"Fooled you!"

Now, in the Western Conference Finals I see a young, inexperienced (compared to the Spurs) Lakers team, who will lose some of their cohesiveness because of the time off.

San Antonio has been there before. San Antonio has been the underdog before, and the Spurs have won before.

Outside of Kobe Bryant and Derek Fisher, who's been there for the Lakers? Here's a hint, I have the same amount of Finals experience as the rest of the Lakers.

For those of you who watched the Lakers impressively take Utah in six, it may be hard to believe anyone could down the top seed. If you looked closely though, you would see rarely did the Lakers come from behind, and when they did get behind, their whole game plan shifted. Kobe started to play more individually, trying to carry the team back into the game, shaking the confidence of the role players who have been so important to Los Angeles' success. The other parts started to diminish, and Los Angeles, at times, would not look like the top seed in the West.

As for San Antonio, this team has been together through everything and the core of this team has racked up three championships together. They know how to get back into a game (witness Game 1 against Phoenix). They know how to finish a team (witness first round series against Phoenix). And they know how to stave off elimination (New Orleans). In the playoffs, defense doesn't win championships, experience and chemistry do.

If the Spurs have taught us anything over the years, the regular season doesn't matter, and this year is no different. The Lakers and Spurs went 2-2 this season, but throw it out; the Lakers are the favorites, forget about it.

Here's your warning, the Spurs know how to do it in the postseason, and they'll show it one more time and deny Kobe a Hollywood ending.

Don't be fooled.

Posted by Wailele Sallas at 11:26 AM | Comments (3)

May 20, 2008

NBA Eastern Conference Finals Preview

Also see: NBA Western Conference Finals Preview

In each of the three major sports (hockey doesn't count because it sucks), the conference finals is usually better than the championship round. The teams are more familiar with each other, the style of play is similar, and the teams are usually more evenly matched. That's why, more often than not, a conference finals/LCS/AFC/NFC championship game is more fun to watch.

This season in the NBA is no exception. The two conference finals have the potential to be two legendary series. The Celtics and Pistons and Lakers and Spurs has the potential to be the highest level of basketball played in a conference finals in many years. There isn't a clear-cut favorite in either matchup, and either series can honestly go either way.

So who's going to win? Today, we'll break down the Eastern Conference Finals in preparation of Game 1 tonight, and we'll save the Western Conference Finals for tomorrow.

No. 1 Boston Celtics vs. No. 2 Detroit Pistons

Since the trade that brought Kevin Garnett to Boston last offseason, everyone outside of Cleveland pretty much penciled these two teams into the conference finals. Boston had stacked its roster with enormous amounts of talent, the Pistons kept their squad that had been there five years in a row together and made it six. Picking these two teams to get here was easy, picking a winner will not be.

Let's start with the obvious: Boston is really good at home and they have home court advantage. That looks like an obvious advantage for the Celtics. It ends up being quite the contrary. Sure, the C's are 8-0 at home this postseason and have won 14 in a row dating back to the regular season. That gives them the advantage on paper.

But they won't be playing this series on paper. The Pistons are a terrible matchup for their seemingly unbeatable home crowd. The Pistons aren't phased by hostile environments; they crave them. This is the same team that has gone into the Staples Center and won Game 1 of the NBA Finals they weren't supposed to even contend in. It's the same team that beat Miami in their building in Game 7 of the Conference Finals. It's the same team that beat the Spurs in an elimination Game 6 in San Antonio in the NBA finals and pushed them to the brink in Game 7 two days later.

Do you think for a second that the Pistons are going to look across the floor tonight and think, "We've won lots of huge road games in the past, but these are the Celtics?" I think that at this point the Pistons would almost rather open up in Boston, take care of business in either Game 1 or 2, ending the ridiculous notion that the Celtics and go 16-0 at home this playoffs en route to a title, and force the Celtics to prove that they can win a road game.

Aside from not having a psychological advantage over the Pistons at home, they also don't have much of a basketball advantage. Neither of the teams that the Celtics have played so far in the playoffs had a winning record on the road this year. The Pistons won 25 road games this season, and their three road victories this postseason ties them with the Lakers for the most in the league.

Boston hasn't been able to beat either of the inferior teams that they have played this postseason on the road, and with all due respect to LeBron James and both Hawks fans, the Pistons aren't the Cavaliers, and they damn sure aren't the Hawks. If the Celtics thought winning in Phillips Arena was tough, wait until they step inside the Palace.

Home court advantage aside, the Pistons outmatch the Celtics in plenty of other areas, as well. If you matchup position by position, the only real advantage Boston has is Paul Pierce over Tayshaun Prince. Yes, that includes the Kevin Garnett/Rasheed Wallace matchup.

Think about it, name one aspect of the game that Garnett has a sizeable advantage over Wallace. Rasheed is better from 6-10 feet with his back to the basket than K.G., K.G. has a better mid-range game, and Wallace can shoot threes and Garnett can't. Offensively, their games are basically a wash.

Garnett gets all the hype and credit for turning Boston around defensively (take that, Tom Tibedeau!), but the numbers don't reflect that he's all that much better than Rasheed. In the playoffs, K.G. is getting 1.2 blocks per game, 1.4 steals, and 7.2 defensive rebounds. Wallace is getting 1.9 blocks per game, 1.3 steals, and 5 defensive rebounds a game. Looks like another wash to me.

Factor in that Rasheed has been the best player on four conference finals teams, two NBA finals teams, and one NBA champion, and he takes the intangible aspect in the matchup, too.

(Call me old-fashioned, but I value repeated team success over scowls, chest thumping, swearing into the crowd, pretending to want to fight other players, holding out the front of your jersey out after meaningless wins in December, and all of the other "intangibles" that K.G. brings to the table.)

If the team's two best players are canceling each other out then you have to look at the other four guys on the floor to determine who has the advantage, and the Pistons remaining players are head and shoulders above the rest of Celtic players, topped off by the Grand Canyon-sized gap in talent between the two starting backcourts.

Chauncey Billups won the Finals MVP in 2004 because he abused Gary Payton because Payton was undersized. Granted, Payton was in the twilight of his career at the time, but he's headed to Springfield because he was one of the best defensive stoppers in league history. Yet Billups made him look foolish. I have my doubts that the tandem of the inexperienced Rajon Rondo and the washed-up Sam Cassell can slow Chauncey enough to disrupt the Pistons' offense.

(Another quick aside here: The Celtics had to think that in order to win a title they were going to have to go through Detroit at some point. It's been obvious that they have needed an upgrade at point guard because Rondo can't score and he's too small to defend Chauncey. Why on earth would they bring in Sam Cassell, another undersized point guard that Billups will destroy, instead of going after someone with size that could make it tough on Chauncey? You'd think that the executive of the year would have been more on the ball with his big midseason pickup.)

Even if they do miraculously contain Billups, he'll just differ to Rip Hamilton, who by the way happens to be averaging 21.5 points per game this postseason, the most by any player on either team. Oh yeah, he's going to be chased around by what's left of Ray Allen for 40 minutes a game. The same Ray Allen who couldn't keep up with Wally Szczerbiak last series and Szczerbiak rarely ventured inside the three-point line. It's entirely possible that Rip could make Allen work more in game one than Wally World did in seven games.

All of that being said, I don't think by any means that Detroit is going to run away with this series. Boston is still really good. They play great defense, they have a legitimate go to guy on offense in Pierce, and they do have home court in a potential Game 7. I'm not saying that Boston can't beat the Pistons.

I'm saying they won't.

Pistons in six.

Posted by Scott Shepherd at 11:50 AM | Comments (1)

Justine Can Finally Breathe!

Justine Henin announced her retirement last week, shocking the tennis world, yet seemed not-so-shocked herself. The number one player in the world said she felt like she was "carrying a weight on her heart and a big ball in her stomach."

She summed it up nicely with the following quote: "I will finally be able to breathe!"

I was also stunned by the announcement. Few days later, my head clear, I can begin to understand her decision and even wonder why I did not see her retirement coming. Although I would not have guessed that she would quit as the top-ranked player in the world, I should have been astute enough to see it happening fairly soon. Never mind that it saddens me to realize that I will no longer be able to enjoy watching her beautiful technique, her incredible footwork, not to mention a backhand that needs to be shown and analyzed to youngsters in every major tennis academy in the world.

At 5.48 feet and 125 pounds, Justine had to work on her fitness and power a lot harder than other top players. An oddity due to her size, in a world of tall and strong tennis players, she had to endure an exhaustive physical fitness schedule, became known for her work load that most mortal athletes would not have been able to withstand. Add to this, the fact that she did not have a smooth ride, going through her fair share of physical problems. She had an important virus that left her sidelined a good portion of 2004. She had few other minor injuries here and there. It was only her ferocious appetite for success and her superior determination that kept her bouncing back from each setback, stronger than before.

The mental part of her career took its hits, also. During her crucial developmental years, her mother died tragically. Henin contemplated quitting tennis before ever launching what turned out to be a career for all ages. Following her mother's death, Justine and her dad grew apart and became distant. One of her biggest fans, her grandfather died hours before her Wimbledon 2001 final against Venus Williams. She had to go through a divorce in the apogee of her career.

Despite all this, what Henin was able to accomplish on the tennis court is nothing short of extraordinary. Seven Slam titles, a gold medal at the Olympic Games, and plenty of weeks spent as the number one player in the world makes for an exceptional career even for the most gifted tennis player, let alone for a player who had to endure this many ups and downs and had to do it all against all odds.

As of late, she was reunited with her father, her family was together again and she was happier. In 2007, her older brother was quoted as saying "This year she is laughing, smiling, and taking pleasure in what she does. I used to see her on TV and she did not always look too happy."

Over $20 million dollars earned from her tennis career and having reached all her goals, having her own tennis academy and tennis club in Limelette, having founded "Vingt Coeurs" (translation: Twenty Hearts), an association that comes to the aid of sick children, all the pieces are set for a much smoother second life than her first. It is not a mystery why she would look forward to retirement. As to confirm her comfort level with her life-changing decision, Justine was serene in announcing her retirement.

Always blunt, she admitted that it was the competitor within her that had one last say in her decision to quit; do it as the number one player in the world. Fierce in competition, possessing an overachieving sense of work-ethic, yet refreshingly honest, she leaves behind an impressive legacy.

Breathe comfortably and enjoy your second life, Justine Henin. You deserve it!

Posted by Mert Ertunga at 11:28 AM | Comments (3)

May 19, 2008

Robert Horry: Hall of Famer?

My name is Ryan Day and I am not the diehard basketball fan who should be writing columns about basketball.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the last eight games of the NCAA season and March is closing in as my favorite month in all of sports. I can sit and marvel at the gymnastics players such as Michael Jordan and Wilt Chamberlain would showcase on the courts. And I know that white people can't play basketball because instead of spreading out the talent, God messed up and put it all in Larry Bird.

So when a casual fan such as myself hears an argument during Game 6 of the Hornets/Spurs game between the announcers as to whether a certain Robert Horry should be inducted into the NBA Hall of Fame, my first reaction is:

"Robert who?"

A simple search brings up a man who averages just over 24 minutes a game for his career of 15 years. And in those 24 minutes, he manages just 7 points. Seven points a game and a career shooting percentage that hasn't been higher than 41% since 1999 doesn't scream "Hall of Fame." In fact, it doesn't even whisper it.

So then why is there a divide in the basketball community about a man who hasn't started 30 games in a season since Bill Clinton was in office?

Because as cliché as it sounds, it's not about stats. In the Hall of Fame, it's about ... well ... fame. And Horry's got enough of it to carry his name on the ballots of all the coaches, owners, and sports writers. Not only that, but his fame was garnered in the playoffs. When the lights were the brightest and the pressure was its highest, Horry played as well or better than most players who've been inducted in the last 20 years.

Aside from the 1960s Boston Celtics, Horry is the only player to have eight championship rings. Not only that, but in the Finals games to win those championships, Horry holds the record for most three-pointers with 53 and still counting. Second place? Michael Jordan. Not still counting.

In all of playoff history, Horry is second only to Reggie Miller in three-pointers made. Not Steve Kerr. Not Dennis Scott. And not Larry Bird. Robert Horry.

He ranks in the top 50 all-time of three-pointers, offensive rebounds, defensive rebounds, and blocks per game in a playoff game.

He's played in more postseason games (239) than any other player, shooting 43% from the field. Michael Jordan? 179 games and 48%. Larry Bird? 164 and 47%. And those are arguably two of the best postseason players and shooters of all-time.

Adrian Dantley just recently got inducted into the Hall of Fame after retiring in 1991. What took him so long?

No doubt, not playing on an NBA championship team hurt his chances. Actually, Dantley's was a bit of a postseason failure and that left him vulnerable in the eyes of many of the voters. He was traded away from the one team that legitimately gave him a shot at a ring, the Detroit Pistons, in 1988.

What happened after the Pistons traded Dantley? They won back-to-back championships with Mark Aguirre, the player for whom he was acquired.

I think if Adrian Dantley, a player who played on only two teams that made it past the second round of the playoffs, then Robert Horry, his postseason accolades and his eight playoff game-winning shots should be invited to Springfield, Massachusetts, as well.

Posted by Ryan Day at 11:21 AM | Comments (3)

May 15, 2008

Senator Specter Keeps Spygate Alive

"We (the NFL) respectfully disagree with Senator Specter's characterization of the investigation conducted by our office. We are following up after yesterday's meeting with Matt Walsh."

The NFL has to play nice, so you can see why they "respectfully" disagreed with Senator Specter.

I, on the other hand, have no reason whatsoever to "respectfully" disagree.

While a high-ranking United States Senator was meeting with a man about a football game, one could argue that there were other things going on that deserved his attention.

I know what you're thinking. What else could possibly be happening in the real world that's more important than an NFL team stealing defensive signals?

Maybe a few things...

Some would argue that instead of wasting time meeting with Mr. Walsh, Senator Specter should have been meeting with the family of Cpl. Jessica A. Ellis.

You see, while fighting in a war that Senator Specter supported, she was killed. Her death was announced by the military while he was meeting with Matt Walsh on Tuesday. Jessica was a 24-year-old from Bend, Oregon. She was killed by an improvised explosive device that was detonated near a vehicle she was in.

Some would argue that Senator Specter should have been looking into how our military can gain an advantage over the insurgents in Iraq so people like Jessica don't have to die instead of looking into the competitive advantage gained by an NFL coach from taping defensive signals.

While he was giving his press conference on Spygate, your share of the United States' national debt went above $30,800.

That's just your share.

The entire bill? That's over $9.3 trillion dollars.

One could make the argument that Senator Specter should have been figuring out how much to fine our government for allowing us to get into this situation instead of talking about how the fine the NFL gave to the Patriots was inadequate.

In the month of April, while Senator Specter was threatening the NFL and demanding to talk to Matt Walsh about a video tape, he could have been working on a plan to help the 20,000 people who lost their jobs in that month alone.

Maybe he should have been looking into how to keep his constituents alive?

Philadelphia is now referred to as the city of death, since it's murder rate is the highest it's been in 20 years. Perhaps instead of trying to stop the shooting of sideline video, he should have been looking into stopping the shooting of American Citizens in the city he represents?

Rather than worrying about the NFL's monopoly on professional football, maybe Senator Specter should have been looking into Big Oil's monopoly — especially since there were reporters who didn't make it to his press conference because they couldn't afford the gas.

Senator Specter claimed Wednesday that nobody has ever questioned his integrity. Yet he gladly takes money from companies like Comcast and supports companies like Exxon/Mobil who take advantage of the people he represents.

Seems to me, someone with integrity wouldn't do such a thing.

Who knows, maybe he'll give up golf like President Bush until the NFL resolves this crisis that's apparently worthy of more United States Senate attention than Osama bin Laden.

We may not be able to catch the guy who destroyed the World Trade Center, but we sure as hell will take down the evil Bill Belichick!

Patriots fan or not, you have to be ashamed, annoyed, and downright angry that your tax payer money is being wasted on this crap.

Especially considering that this is all being done by a man who admitted on Boston Sports Talk Radio (850-WEEI) that he was only interested in Spygate because it cost the Eagles (his favorite team) a Super Bowl.

Well, fine. I give up. The Eagles can have their Super Bowl. They win.

If it means our government can go back to concentrating on petty, insignificant issues like Iraq, the War on Terror, unemployment, the cost of gas, and the national debt, I'll gladly give up one of the Patriots' three Super Bowls.

Just tell me what I have to do to make my government get the hell out of my sports.

I'm SeanMC.

SeanMC is a senior writer for Bleacher Report and writes a column for Sports Central every other Thursday. You can read more articles by SeanMC on his blog.

Posted by Sean Crowe at 11:44 AM | Comments (2)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 11

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kyle Busch — Despite a loose lug nut problem that dropped him to 23rd on lap 141, Busch recovered to win handily in Darlington, his third win this year, then took a bow to a chorus of boos. Busch, in his Joe Gibbs Racing Toyota sporting the new Indiana Jones movie paint scheme, peppered the Darlington walls often, seemingly using them less as a barrier and more as a guide. For the win, the 23-year-old prodigy received $313,700, not bad for a day's work for a race car driver, or for a semester's worth of basketball for a USC freshman basketball player, for that matter.

"It seems like I'm pushing a new product/movie every week now," says Busch. "Some may say I give new meaning to the term 'marketing tool.' Put it on my car and I'll sell it, unless it's my own merchandise. I've got a feeling that once I win the Cup, people will start buying my stuff and claiming they've been fans since I was 14."

"I have a lot in common with Indiana Jones. He's been on adventurous quests to capture valuable pieces of hardware, such as the Ark of the Covenant and the Holy Grail. I'm after a historic trophy of my own, the Sprint Cup championship trophy, that will take me to all corners of the earth, or at least various stops in podunk America. Jones has battled Nazis to acquire those artifacts, while I'm dealing with an equally ruthless bunch who consider themselves the super race — the people of Earnhardt Nation."

2. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: — Earnhardt started on row one with pole-sitter Greg Biffle and quickly took the lead on lap 2 as his legions of supporters roared their approval, sounding much like they did last year, only over-caffeinated instead of over-intoxicated. Earnhardt led 35 laps on the day and ran among the leaders nearly all day, but in the end, he, like the other front-runners, had nothing to challenge Kyle Busch's dominant performance, leaving Earnhardt's winless streak at 73 races.

"That's over two full seasons without a win," says Earnhardt. "That's a tough pill to swallow, but under NASCAR's current drug testing policy, I can get away with it. And speaking of long stretches without a win, how about Michael Waltrip? He just made his 700th career Cup start at Darlington. The secret to his longevity? Rocket fuel. Incidentally, that's what you get when you mix Amp energy drink and Tang."

"Now, I know fans are hot for that retro Mountain Dew merchandise. It's classic. Ah, the late 1970s/early 1980s. What a memorable era. The Mountain Dew flowed freely, disco was king, and you could actually smoke a cigarette in the pits. Now, everybody's asking for the retro MD gear. Even Darrell Waltrip. I gladly offered him a mesh hat, but not before I made him do four 'Ickey Shuffles,' three 'boogity, boogitys,' two 'let's go racing, boys,' and relinquish his soul."

3. Denny Hamlin — Hamlin led 15 laps and scored his seventh top-10 finish of the year, a seventh in the Dodge Challenger 500. Hamlin improved two places in the Sprint Cup point standings, from sixth to fourth, where he trails points leader and teammate Kyle Busch by 190 points. With Tony Stewart's Nationwide win on Friday and Busch's Saturday win, Hamlin left Darlington as the lone Joe Gibbs driver without a win.

"I've got no hard feelings," says Hamlin. "In fact, I thought it was pretty classy of me when I drove down and parked right in the middle of victory lane to offer my congratulations to my two teammates. You know, it's funny. It doesn't matter where I go, I can always find a parking space."

"Despite our differing personalities, Tony, Kyle, and I get along quite well considering we vigorously dislike each other. The only tension in team meetings is that of Tony's waistband. We're one big happy family, just like brothers, in a fraternity, if you will. The fraternity known as 'Alpha Male.'"

4. Jeff Burton — After starting 33rd, his fifth qualifying effort of 33rd or worse this year, Burton steadily climbed to the front and surged to a tenth-place finish, his seventh top 10 of the year. Burton remains second in the points, and has not had a finish outside of the top 15 this year.

"They don't call me the 'Top 15 Machine' for nothing," says Burton, "especially since I have it tattoed across my abdomen, just beneath my 'Thug Life' tattoo, my homage my brother Ward's early teen years, when he terrorized mailboxes all over the greater South Boston, Virginia area. And they don't call Kyle Busch 'Public Enemy Number Won' for nothing either. And, if the driver of the No. 42 car had three wins and was leading the points, they wouldn't call him 'Public Enemy Number Juan' for nothing, either."

"Anyway, it's an exciting time of the year for drivers and fans everywhere. Racing season is in full swing and there are some big races at historic tracks coming up. In a matter of weeks, hearts will race and excitement will rise, as those exhilarating and stimulating four words will be spoken: 'Danica Patrick on pole.' What? Danica's not on pole? Well then, I guess we'll have to settle for something as equally arousing — Jim Nabors singing 'Back Home Again In Indiana.' Shazaam!"

5. Carl Edwards — Edwards overcame a dismal qualifying effort of 36th to capture the runner-up position in Darlington, finishing over three seconds behind the No. 18 of Kyle Busch. Edwards advanced three positions in the point standings to seventh, and is now tied with Busch for Sprint Cup wins, with three.

"I have to hand it to Kyle Busch," says Edwards. "He really knows how to get the most out of a car. I didn't know a car could hit the wall at Darlington that many times and still run that fast, like he wasn't even affected. Every time Busch grazed the wall, I was reminded by that song by Pink Floyd. No, not 'Comfortably Numb,' but 'Another Dick In The Wall.' Oh, it's 'brick' in the wall. My bad."

"Whether or not there's a rivalry brewing between Kyle and myself is unclear. I know this much. You wouldn't find me posing in a fedora while holding a whip, I don't care who was sponsoring my car. Once I Photoshop that and post it on the internet, Kyle might actually have some fans. And, if Busch thinks his little 'take a bow' race-winning celebration even remotely compares to my back flip, he's crazy. Hey Kyle, 'Take a Bow' is a Madonna song, not a celebration."

6. Jimmie Johnson — By the end of the race weekend in South Carolina, Johnson was practically on a first-name basis with Darlington Raceway's walls, having crashed twice in Friday practice, then suffering two early brushes in Saturday night's race.
Still, Johnson made the most of his backup car, using constant adjustments to salvage a 13th-place finish, which moved him up one spot in the points to sixth.

"That newly-paved surface at Darlington made the track much faster," says Johnson. "It looks like the track got the same treatment I often give my eyebrows — a Brazilian wax. We had so much body work to do last weekend that we had to subcontract some work out to Maaco. But it will be great to have homefield advantage at Lowe's Motor Speedway. And it's great to see NASCAR presenting a concert by a band NASCAR fans actually might listen to — Three Doors Down. Last week at Darlington, Prince's pre-race anthem, 'This Track's 2 Tough 2 Tame' was certainly spectacular, but I don't think there's much, if any, overlap between Prince fans and NASCAR fans."

7. Clint Bowyer — Bowyer finished a respectable 15th in the RCR Jack Daniels Chevy at Darlington, stricken by Kyle Busch's failure to cause a 14-car spinout near then end, thereby opening the door for Bowyer to snatch another unlikely victory. If you'll recall, Bowyer snagged the win in Richmond when contact between Busch and Earnhardt allowed Bowyer to slip through for the win.

"I guess now we're even," says Bowyer. "I refuse to make Kyle my enemy. He feeds off of hatred. You would think he be much heavier, then. Not since Razor Ramon have I seen someone relish the role of the 'bad guy' so much."

"Anyway, we're heading north, from Darlington to Charlotte, in the Jack Daniels Chevy, which I call getting 'liquored up.' Surprisingly, I had more success keeping my car off the wall in Darlington during a 500 mile race than I did in Charlotte in a burnout exhibition. Hopefully, I can keep my car fully intact in the real burnout competition. In other words, having a Jack Daniels 'neat.'"

8. Jeff Gordon — Gordon finished third in the Dodge Challenger 500, his fifth top-10 of the year and the first time in 2008 he's strung together two such finishes. He now sits 10th in the Sprint Cup point standings as the Hendrick Motorsports team continues to search for the consistency that will lead to the team's first win of the year.

"It's good to get two top-10s in a row," says Gordon. "It's no secret we've been slumping this season. In the world of professional sports, athletes have been known to try anything to break out of a slump. Recently, the Chicago White Sox put blow-up dolls in their locker room in an attempt to break a slump. I'm not sure if it worked for them, but I figured we should give it a try. Heck, I've used blow-up dolls to break out of many a dating slump. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't, but I've found that blow-up dolls consistently display more personality than my ex-wife Brooke, not to mention more affection. And they are immensely cheaper dates."

9. Tony Stewart — Once again, after winning the Nationwide Diamond Hill Plywood 200 on Friday, Sprint Cup misfortune struck Stewart on Saturday in the form of Elliott Sadler, whose No. 19 McDonald's Dodge got loose on lap 2 and drifted into Stewart's No. 20. Repairs left Stewart two laps down near the half-way point, and, without the benefit of any Lucky Dog free passes, he was only able to make up one lap, and finished 21st.

"It wasn't the 'Lady in Black' that got us," says Stewart. "It was the 'Idiot in Red.' I don't know who worked harder on Saturday night — my pit crew making repairs or Elliot Sadler making apologies. Who is Sadler's spotter? Ronald McDonald? If not for Sadler's spin, there wouldn't have been nearly as many views of the 'get a free chicken sandwich' advertisement inside Sadler's car. Sadler's a turkey trying to sell chicken. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to call 'fowl.'"

10. Kevin Harvick — Harvick made brutal contact with the Darlington wall on lap 147, the impact of which sent his No. 29 Shell/Pennzoil Chevrolet to the garage for 100 laps for a major overhaul. He returned to the track in 41st position and gained two spots to finish 39th, and tumbled four positions in the points to ninth.

"That wreck was totally my fault," says Harvick. "It's hard to concentrate on driving when you're daydreaming about your next score. And that, my friend, was my Aaron Fike impression."

"As for drug testing at Kevin Harvick, Inc., it's going great. We've had more leaks than a busted radiator. It looks like hiring Dick Trickle as the head of our drug-testing arm is working out well."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:40 AM | Comments (0)

May 13, 2008

The Zito Conundrum

It is not a fun time to be Barry Zito these days. The San Francisco pitcher has had little to smile about this season, posting an 0-7 record and 6.95 ERA through seven starts, one of the worst opening performances in franchise history. The situation is further compounded by Zito's $126 million, seven-year contract, a contract that has some pundits calling it "one of the worst free-agent signings in history."

While it is still too early to lump Zito in with the likes of Kevin Brown or Carl Pavano, his presence in San Francisco has been unimpressive. At 11-13, the 2007 season marked Zito's first sub-.500 effort, as well as the worst ERA (4.53) of his career. His 2008 numbers have both management and fans alike scratching their heads. Where has the old Barry Zito gone?

On paper, Zito's numbers are atrocious and there is no question that he has not pitched up to his standard this season. However, in evaluating his performance, there are several contributing factors that must be considered.

The Giants organization is currently in the process of rebuilding their team in the post-Bonds Era. With a few exceptions, the Giants team is composed of older veterans and young rookies. Zito is one of these exceptions. At 29, and with five years left on his contract, Zito is expected to play a key role in the development of a winning ball club. As with any rebuilding process, there will be growing pains, and as the past couple of years have proved, very few wins. For now, Zito can only grin and bare it as the younger players develop.

Furthering Zito's troubles is the Giants unproductive offensive, which has averaged just over two runs a game for their starting pitchers. When Zito starts, the offense is even worse. The Giants have only scored 9 runs in his seven starts, giving him little room for error. One would be hard-pressed to find any pitcher in Major League Baseball with a winning record on such little support.

But Zito refuses to place blame on anyone but himself. Always the consummate professional, he takes full responsibility for his level of play.

"Obviously, I'm hurting the team right now," Zito said, after his sixth loss of the season. "I just have to keep grinding and fighting. For me, this is an opportunity to stick it out and toe the line."

And that is exactly what Zito will have to do. He will have to "stick it out," take his bumps and bruises, and hope to improve with his young Giants team.

While some have already relegated Barry Zito to "has-been" status, he has the talent, dedication, and the poise to turn his season around. He is a notorious slow starter and this season takes the cake. However, with a few adjustments, Zito can and will start winning games.

To start, Zito needs to focus not on the velocity of his pitches, but on varying the speeds of the pitches he has. While the Hank Steinbrenners of the world drool over the 100 mph fastball, anyone with a little baseball intelligence knows that speed differential and movement combined with good location give major league hitters the most trouble. Greg Maddux, who just notched his 350th win, is a shinning example of how effective pitch selection and good location can be. Zito has never been a hard thrower, but in losing some velocity on his fastball, he must work harder to hit his spots and keep the ball down.

Zito must also work on limiting walks. Through his first six starts, the pitcher had 15 walks in 28 and 2/3 innings. Zito should be more effective once he finds the strike zone on a consistent basis. Fewer walks would also allow Zito to pitch later into games, something he has struggled to do this season.

In his most recent start, Zito showed signs that he may be coming out of his slump. Although he lost the game, Zito pitched five innings, allowing just two runs on two walks and five strikeouts. He kept the Giants in the game and pitched effectively enough for the win. His next start will be a true test when he faces Roy Oswalt and the hot Houston Astros. A good showing in this game could go a long way in helping restore Zito's confidence and set him on the right path.

The beginning of the season has been a disappointment for Barry Zito. Despite the poor start, the negative media, and being demoted to the bullpen for a 10-day stretch, Zito, in his typical laid-back style, has stayed positive. "In life, you can't just give in," Zito said. "Throwing in the towel and giving up, that's not part of who I am."

Zito believes that his struggles have provided him with an important lesson. "It's a new challenge and that's good," he said in a recent interview. "There's a lot of growth and strength that comes out of these things."

With an attitude like that, how could you not help but to root for the guy? Here is one writer hoping to see Barry bounce back soon.

Posted by Chris Gonzales at 11:59 AM | Comments (0)

A Little Pep in the PGA Tour's Step

The clamor of voices saying that the game of golf is suffering is growing. Total rounds are down from their highs earlier in the decade. Courses are closing left and right, with others threatening to close in the wake of the real estate bust. New players appear to be walking away from the game because the combination of time, cost, and effort are too much to get involved long-term. Current players appear frustrated by slow amateurs that take all day to play. In other words, golf needs a bit of a spark.

The problem facing amateurs could be likened to what the PGA Tour faces today. In the final round of the Players Championship on Sunday, the golf was great. The battle between Paul Goydos, Jeff Quinney, and eventual champion Sergio Garcia was fierce and of epic quality. Even without Tiger Woods in the field, the PGA Tour proved that it could produce a dramatic tournament that will go down in the lore of the event. Still, it took the final pairing of Kenny Perry and Goydos just under five hours to play 18 holes of golf. The average time for a pair on the PGA Tour? About an hour less.

The Players was not the only culprit. It took over five hours for the final group of Trevor Immelman and Brandt Snedeker to wrap up at the Masters. Certainly, with a lot of money on the line and titles of significance at stake, it seems more likely that golfers will take a little longer to play their rounds.

But how can it take over an hour more than the average? Over the course of 70 shots, that is almost an extra minute for every shot.

Meanwhile, the LPGA Tour has a slow play policy that allots an average 30 seconds per shot on a hole, plus an additional 10-second grace period. No player can take over a minute on any single shot when being observed or they are subject to a two stroke penalty.

On the PGA Tour, players are allotted a minute extra in addition to the normal time it takes to complete each shot. Over the course of a 72-shot round — par at TPC Sawgrass — that four hour and 40-minute round equates to approximately three minutes and 50 seconds per shot. When compared to the LPGA Tour rule, the average 30 seconds allotted would have been obliterated by over three minutes on every shot. The PGA Tour players do not even approach the minute maximum for any single shot under the LPGA Tour policy.

The positive thing is that there appears to be an impetus by the PGA Tour to address the subject more effectively. The players themselves held a meeting prior to the Players Championship in which two major topics of complain arose — one of those was slow play. The players appear to have had enough with those among them that cannot seem to play at an appropriate pace.

Commissioner Tim Finchem deserves some credit for not dodging this controversial question in his press conferences last week. He basically said that the PGA Tour feels very strongly that this is the appropriate time to address slow play. When questioned by members of the media what that may entail, he said that the Tour was looking into a variety of potential options. Among those options are smaller full field events, easier setups and pin placements, and other options.

Under even further questioning, Tim Finchem said that he would even consider implementing the LPGA slow play policy that seems to have been effective so far this season in helping speed up the slower players on that Tour.

Being more effective is a relative term for the PGA Tour, though. There has not been a pace of play penalty called on a player on Tour in 16 years. Tour veteran Matt Goggin said that even drawing a fine for continued slow play is difficult. He claimed that it took four to five months of slow play just to draw a meager $20,000 fine from Ponte Vedra Beach.

Therefore, anything that the Tour would do to encourage a more natural pace of play is an improvement. The interesting thing is that all of the options on the table for the PGA Tour should actually be implemented, but not just for slow play purposes. What the PGA Tour is suggesting would be good for the Tour, period.

Smaller full field events would make life a lot easier on the PGA Tour in terms of logistics, player management, and cut policy. With less players in the field, there are fewer groups in total. That means that there can be fewer players that are simultaneously teeing off of 1 and 10 on Thursday and Friday. This leads to less cross over and interference in between nines when groups are trying to reintegrate into the flow of the course.

Also, it allows the Tour to entertain a stricter cut policy. Instead of worrying about Rule 78, a Saturday cut, or any solution that would not result in helping slow play, the Tour can make the two round cut into the top 65 and ties. Bottom line is that the tournament would flow much better.

If you are a reader of my writing, you know my favor for easier setups on Tour. Long rounds — in part — are produced by setups that are too long, too hard, and too fast. TPC Sawgrass could have become completely unplayable over the weekend were it not for the Tour’s maintenance team stepping in overnight after each of the rounds.

If fewer courses were not set up to play like Augusta National (which is a bad thing nowadays), players would not have to agonize over every single shot. Decisions would be easier if a player knew that a mistaken putt would not mean a second putt that could be longer than the first. Reserve those kinds of conditions for the U.S. Open.

Fans like birdies, despite what 52.6% of supposed golf fans said in a Golf Digest survey. Let fans enjoy the experience and let players display the amazing talent that they have. A nice side effect will be quicker rounds and happier players. Just as Stephen Ames, who uttered an obscenity accented sentence after his opening round at the Players. Imagine the expletive in his comment, "Go ahead, keep making courses this hard."

Everyone wins when rounds are played faster. The players are happier. Television audiences can see more shots, more rapidly. Fans in person will not have to wait forever to see a group roll through a hole they park at early in the morning. The Tour will have a less difficult time in administering fields and events. And hopefully, amateurs will see that rounds can still be played in four hours or less and commit to becoming faster players themselves.

I remember the days when I could play a morning round and still catch the finale of a tournament. I would like to have those days back.

Posted by Ryan Ballengee at 11:03 AM | Comments (0)

May 12, 2008

Ode to Spring

People who don't live in the southern part of the U.S. always ask why the SEC gets so much media attention come football season.

The answer appeared again this spring ... in droves.

While most schools are thrilled to have a few thousand show up for a spring scrimmage, the SEC drew 373,232 fans ... an average of 31,103 a school, to their 12 spring football contests. Leading the way was Alabama, who drew 78,200 to its A-Day Game. Three other schools (Florida, Arkansas, and Ole Miss) set new records, as fans across the South tailgated, partied, and packed stadiums to bolster football dreams.

When I told a friend of mine on the West Coast of the attendance for Bobby Petrino's first spring game at Arkansas (40,200), they said that statistic was "really disturbing."

Maybe to other fans, but certainly not to SEC schools, or SEC college towns.

In the South, spring games are turned into spring festivals. You'll see the smoke of barbecue grills for miles, see cars lined up in droves, hear the music of concerts playing in every open space available, and see food vendors of all kinds within a mile radius of the stadium. It's like a state fair, only with less animals and more football. All of it adds to huge revenues for each college town, who reaps the profits of full hotels and crowded restaurants.

Maybe that's not understood in other parts of the country, but in the South, where there aren't as many pro teams, and school loyalties run deeper than anywhere else, this is the spark of hope that carries them through the hot summer days and into the start of fall.

It's a great example of the glory of college sports. And furthermore, in many cases, it leads to an even greater cause. At Arkansas, for example, admission is free, but the money raised by concessions benefits Champions for Kids, a charity dedicated to helping youth in Arkansas. Many schools do the same, using their games as a great way to benefit charities in need.

So, call it disturbing all you want. I look at a spring game, and I see charities helped, cities coming together in a spirit of pride, and a fan base shining in new hope for the future ahead.

In these times, that's anything but disturbing to me.

Posted by Jean Neuberger at 10:19 AM | Comments (1)

May 9, 2008

Sports Q&A: NFL Criminal Minds

Alphonse from Brooklyn, NY writes, "Chicago Bears running back Cedric Benson and Indianapolis Colts receiver Marvin Harrison have both recently had brushes with the law. Should NFL commissioner Roger Goodell be surprised by any of this?"

This isn't surprising to Goodell; it's just another day at the office, although the fact that Pacman Jones, nor a Cincinnati Bengal, nor a former guest on Michael Irvin's radio show was involved has to be considered progress. NFL players face a long offseason, full of boredom and lots of idle time. Add to that mix millions of dollars of disposable income, and these players are bound to do stupid things.

Benson was arrested last Saturday for boating while intoxicated and resisting arrest on Lake Travis near Austin, TX. Allegedly, police stopped Benson for a random check of his 37-foot, fully-loaded yacht, the Bear Necessity. On board, police gave Benson a series of sobriety tests, which they claim he failed. When police attempted to handcuff Benson, he resisted, and was pepper-sprayed.

Benson claims he offered no resistance, and to prove it, he offered to show the cops game film of his 19-carry, 42-yard performance against the Chargers in Week 1 last year. When Benson attempted the "Do you know who I am?" line of defense, police quickly responded by saying, "No, but you look enough like Pacman Jones to warrant an arrest." Benson was then booked, fingerprinted, and had his mug shot taken, which had Nick Nolte feeling pretty good about himself. Upon searching Benson's craft, authorities reportedly found 8,000 kilograms of Minnesota Vikings, stripper paraphernalia, and loads of untapped potential.

Benson has claimed he wasn't drunk, wasn't belligerent, and has vowed to fight the charges. Does he have a chance of winning? Not likely. Let's see. On a lake, in a boat, and you have some form of dreadlocks? In today's NFL legal climate, that's pretty much a guilty plea. In Benson's defense, though, it does sound like the police were guilty of a fair bit of profiling. According to Benson, he's been stopped practically every time he's been on that lake in his boat. Apparently, a dreadlocked black man on a 37-foot yacht is suspicious, even after he's been stopped multiple times before and checked out just fine. Would a short-haired white man in that same boat have been stopped? Probably not. Would an older, bearded white man with an eye patch and a wooden leg on that boat have been stopped? Only if he was an NFL player.

Harrison's role in an April 29th shooting in Philadelphia has yet to be determined. Harrison has claimed innocence, but sources say he was involved in an argument and a shooting near Playmakers, a bar owned by Harrison. Gee, that's surprising. A shooting at a bar named "Playmakers?" That's a surprise. Is there a bar named Playmakers that hasn't been the site of a shooting?

Ballistic tests have indicated that shell casings found at the scene came from Harrison's gun. Just days before, representatives speaking on behalf of Harrison said he was not present at the shooting, nor was his gun used. Well, it looks like Marvin's been caught in at least one lie, with more likely to come. Harrison's been accused of being "pea-headed" before; now we can safely assume that he's "pea-brained," as well. It looks like his route running is much more precise than his ability to suppress evidence of his involvement in a crime. If Harrison shows up for a police lineup in his No. 88 Colts jersey, we'll know he's guilty and dumb.

The gun in question was found in a bucket at a car wash also owned by Harrison, which happens to be only half-mile from his bar. The gun was said to be one of at least 25 owned by the Colts receiver. Hey, there's nothing wrong with being ready for Armageddon, but I doubt it's flashpoint will be a Philly bar/car wash. In that final, conflagrant showdown, will the side of good be able to overcome the forces of evil, which will no doubt be numbered by an army of idiotic NFL players?

It may come as a surprise to many that Harrison is capable of such behavior. After all, he plays with Peyton Manning, whose clean-cut image is sterling enough to cover an entire team. But Harrison's been in trouble before. In 2005, he was accused of choking a teenager who had asked for his autograph. The charges were ultimately dropped, probably because Harrison could afford a brilliant lawyer who argued that the teenager was into some pleasure-seeking form of auto-erotic asphyxiation/autograph-hunting hedonistic perversion. You know, the kids are into that these days.

So, where does this all leave Commissioner Goodell? Well, we all know there a red phone under a cake cover in his office that rings when NFL players go bad. Which is often. If Goodell has "the talk" with Harrison, it may be the first one he's had with a player with a Super Bowl ring. That is, unless Harrison has melted it down to fabricate some magic bullet that can kill werewolves, prosecutors, or those pesky, chatty witnesses.

Goodell has probably tired of these meetings with players who have strayed from the ranks of good citizens. Soon, it may be time for Goodell to hire a full-time employee to handle these meetings. The measures the NFL has taken to deter this type of criminal behavior have not really put a dent in the amount of crimes. So Goodell can expect to be seated across from a future batch of cretins with little or no respect for the integrity and honor in the game. In between signing the thousands of official footballs he's responsible to authenticate, it's becoming the bulk of his duties.

Get Your Questions Answered!

Do you have a question or comment? Then send your question or comment along with your name and hometown to [email protected]. You may get the answer you're looking for in the next column on Friday, May 23rd.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:24 AM | Comments (0)

May 8, 2008

College Football Week 1 Preview

I've waxed poetic here before about this unnamed but utterly comprehensive college football TV listings site, but now, the admin there has really outdone himself. He has next year's schedule, including some preliminary TV pairings, out already. And by "already" I mean, "for a few months now, barely after last season ended."

The last two years, he's had the schedule up fairly early, but not like this. Two years ago, like a James Joyce character with a guilty conscience, I forced myself not to look at the week one schedule until the season was just two weeks away. Last year, and this year, I am looking as soon as info is available. But only at week one.

I love the non-conference part of the schedule, and the unusual matchups they bring. That's why I won't look ahead to week two until after week one commences, so I have new surprises each week. That's not the case so much in the heart of the season, when you know the conference teams will have each other to push around.

Let's see what's shaking for week one.

Vanderbilt @ Miami (OH), ESPNU, Thursday, August 28th, 7:30

Notable at the moment because, with it's a 7:30 kickoff, it's the first D 1-A of the college football season. But that could change as most of the Thursday night games do not have kickoff times or TV slots yet.

Two years ago, also on ESPNU, it was the same Miami team against Northwestern to start us off. I think ESPN Networks looks to schedule an ostensible "upset" for the first game, pitting a strong mid-major against a weak BCS team, so they can be set up to hype, "The upsets are happening already, in just the first game of the season!"

NC State @ South Carolina, ESPN, Thursday, August 28th, 8:00

This is the first BCS clash of the year. South Carolina hosted Mississippi State for the first BCS game two years ago, as well, and last year it was Mississippi State vs. LSU. It beats Oregon State at Stanford by an hour.

Delaware @ Maryland, Saturday, August 30th, TBA

After living all my life in Ohio, I moved to Delaware about six years ago now. This might be the very first football game in my adopted home that I find inherently interesting, like a lifelong local might. I wouldn't have noticed this matchup back in Ohio.

In Northern Delaware, the natives are Philly fans. So for D-1 action, they're Temple fans, right? Ha, of course not. They're Penn State fans.

This sort of bugs me, because even tossing Temple out of the equation, if you need a big State school to pull for, Maryland's closer. Rutgers is second. Penn State is about as far from here as the University of Virginia. It goes to show you the power of television: they get Philly TV stations here, and Philly is a Penn State town when it comes to college football.

Yet, when it comes to D-1AA (Note to new readers. I will never refer to these ridiculous anti-playoff propaganda titles of "FBS" or "FCS.") The University of Delaware is both very successful (I-AA champs five years ago, runners-up last year), and well-supported. The talent gap between Delaware and Maryland is thinner than the gap between Appalachian State and Michigan was last year. Expect the unexpected.

Towson @ Navy, Saturday, August 30th, 3:30

Another game local-ish to me is, as it stands now, the first college football game on CSTV's new branding: CBS College Sports. I also note that presently no games are scheduled for the first Saturday until 2 PM, which means that a ton of kickoff times and TV arrangements are yet to be finalized. When they are, expect a near-full slate of noon games.

Other Saturday Games of Note on TV

Michigan State @ Cal, ABC, 8 PM
Alabama @ Clemson, ABC/ESPN, TBA
Virginia Tech @ East Carolina, ESPN/ESPN2, TBA
Mississippi State @ Louisiana Tech, ESPN/ESPN2, TBA

I bring up that last one because I think there is no way in hell a snoozer like that will be on ESPN or ESPN2 on a Saturday when it's all said and done. Too many good options still await remain off the TV schedule thus far:

Utah @ Michigan
Illinois vs. Missouri at St. Louis
Washington@ Oregon
Oklahoma State vs. Washington State at Seattle
Hawaii @ Florida

And my personal favorite...

USC @ Virginia

Sunday and Monday also bring games as they usually do in week one. Kentucky/Louisville on Sunday, Fresno State/Rutgers on Monday. There's also another rivalry game for Sunday, Colorado/Colorado State at Denver. The weekend usually ends Monday night on ABC with Florida State, typically against Miami (FLA), but last year against Clemson. This year, it's off in a completely different direction: Tennessee @ UCLA.

Posted by Kevin Beane at 11:48 AM | Comments (2)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 10

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kyle Busch — Busch banged heads with two of NASCAR's most famous racing families, interestingly enough on a weekend when his primary Sprint Cup sponsor was 'Pedigree,' in a controversial weekend in Richmond. On Friday, Busch tangled with Steve Wallace, son of Rusty, in the Nationwide race, then a late-race skirmish with Dale Earnhardt, Jr. on Saturday sent Earnhardt into the wall. Busch finished second as Earnhardt fell to 15th, and the Joe Gibbs prodigy took over the points lead, albeit at the expense of his approval rating, which plummeted to a level so low that President George Bush even found it alarming.

"If anyone's looking for an apology," says Busch, "they can find it — in my dust, which they can also eat. If people want to label me NASCAR's 'face of evil,' then that's just fine and dandy. I've been the bad guy ever since it became clear that my ears would be smaller than my brother Kurt's. I race to win. I don't race for money, or to sell M&M's, Snickers, or Pedigree dog food, or to promote the new Indiana Jones movie, a paint scheme of which my car at Darlington will feature. Nothing against Dale, Jr., but his talent as a driver is exceeded only by his uncanny ability to play the victim. But that's not by his doing. Look, I know Junior's upset with his winless streak now at 72 races. How does he think I feel? I've gone an entire week without a win. I'm used to measuring the time between wins in hours, not days, weeks, or races."

2. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. — As Earnhardt tried to protect his race lead from the charging Kyle Busch, the two made contact, spinning the No. 88 Amp Chevy into the wall and sending the supporters of "Junior Nation" into a frenzy, while their undergarments bunched up into the collective wad the size of the Richmond International Speedway infield. Earnhardt, denied a chance to halt his lengthy winless streak, dropped to 15th, and remained third in the point standings, now 104 behind Busch.

"Busch did nothing wrong," says Earnhardt. "It was purely a racing incident. I know my people are livid and ready to 'Amp-Busch,' but I say to them, 'Check your anger and channel it into something productive, like charity work, good deeds, anger management classes, or the purchase of a roll of Kyle Busch Toilet Paper from the Dale Earnhardt, Jr. merchandise catalog.' Like Kyle Busch in a car, Kyle Busch toilet paper leaves a mark when it hits you."

3. Denny Hamlin — In one of the most dominant performances that did not result in a win, Hamlin lead 381 of the first 382 laps before a deflating right tire spoiled his day. The Joe Gibbs driver then steadily fell back before finally stopping on the track to bring out the caution. Hamlin was penalized two laps for intentionally causing a caution, and he eventually finished 24th, three laps down. Some had accused Hamlin of causing the caution to allow Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Kyle Busch to close the gap on Dale Earnhardt, Jr., who was leading at the time.

"Hey, it's Joe Gibbs Racing,” says Hamlin, "not 'G.I.' Joe Gibbs Racing. It's not, 'All for one and one for all.' It's 'every man for himself' here. I think the fact that Busch, Stewart, and myself are so competitive is the reason Joe Gibbs is having such a good season. And we're not afraid to speak our minds. You can't just pull a string and expect to hear some non-controversial, cookie-cutter comments from us, like you can over at Hendrick Motorsports. "

"As for my intent for bringing out a caution? The same as Michael Waltrip's ramming of Casey Mears — purely for selfish reasons. We should all commend Waltrip for his actions; I think that's the first time he hit his mark on the track this year. Those crash test dummies over at Michael Waltrip Racing are a weekly testament to the safety of these cars.”

4. Jeff Burton — Despite starting 33rd and sustaining fender damage in a multi-car, lap 231 accident, Burton and the No. 31 AT&T team regrouped for a 11th-place finish, his series-leading tenth top-15 finish of the year. He did, however, lose his Sprint Cup points lead to Kyle Busch, who finished second.

"Despite his being the most hated man in the world this side of North Korea,” says Burton, "Kyle Busch is just what this sport needs —someone totally the opposite of me. He's brash, bold, and cocky. He reminds me of Dale Earnhardt, Sr., just without the respect of all his peers, the seven Cup championships, and the ability to grow facial hair. He's a real talent. I wouldn't have a problem losing anything to Kyle, except for my virginity."

5. Kevin Harvick — Harvick opted for four ties late in Saturday's race, hoping fresh rubber would allow him to catch the leaders, but ultimately, there were not enough laps for Harvick to make progress. He finished eighth for his fifth top-10 finish of the year and moved up one spot in the point standings to fifth.

"I'd like to congratulate my teammate Clint Bowyer for his win in Saturday's race," says Harvick. "The 'Nature' Bowyer really deserved this one. Normally, when Clint wins, we celebrate with a shot of Jack Daniels. This time, however, he was in the BB&T sponsored car, so we reveled in the win by foreclosing on a few homes."

"I'd also like to express my support for the Craftsman truck teams in the works by NFL star Randy Moss and former NBA player Brad Daugherty. We need minority involvement in the sport, and it's great to have the black hillbilly demographic represented by two of the most countrified brothers in the United States. What's next? A truck team owned by Uncle Remus? Hey, I'm all for anything that will keep Daugherty out of the Nationwide Series broadcast booth. As for Moss, the sport of racing was built on 'moonshining,' so he should fit right in. I can't wait for him to moon a rival car owner. Of course, in the world of racing, that wouldn't even raise eyebrows. Anyway, I fully support Moss' new venture, 'Cluster Truck Racing.'"

6. Clint Bowyer — Running third late in the race, Bowyer was in position to mop up after Dale Earnhardt, Jr. and Kyle Busch scrapped, leaving Earnhardt spinning and Busch scrambling to avoid him. Bowyer picked up his first Sprint Cup win of the year and second of his career.

"It feels great to win,” says Bowyer. "We here at Richard Childress Racing pride ourselves on being in position to win every week. Apparently for us, being 'in position to win' is running third late in the race just before the two leaders wreck and knock themselves out of contention, opening the door for an RCR car to slip through the smoke for the win. Jeff Burton did it at Bristol when Tony Stewart and Kevin Harvick tangled. I did the same in Richmond. Some may call it being 'cotton-picking lucky.' I call it being 'cherry-picking good.'"

7. Carl Edwards — Edwards finished seventh in Richmond, rebounding from his 40th at Talladega, to maintain the ninth spot in the Sprint Cup point standings. More notably, he dropped the 'F'-bomb, losing his 'free agent' status when he resigned with Roush Fenway Racing for three more years, a development that had Jack Roush celebrating and Matt Kenseth searching for loopholes in his own contract.

"I know Matt and I have had our differences," says Edwards, "but I'm trying to mend fences. It's going to be tough. Just the other day, I told Matt I wanted to 'bounce some ideas off of him,' and he ran out of the room screaming."

"Anyway, it's good to have crew chief Bob Osborne back, refreshed from six weeks of cheaters vacation, where he underwent rigorous, intensive training on securing a loose oil reservoir cover. While he was gone, he had plenty of time to think, so I'm expecting him to have some new tricks up his sleeve. I'm not sure how making a shank from a toothbrush can give us more horsepower, but I'm willing to listen. And I was quite flattered when Bob showed me his new tattoo, 'C-A-R-L' across his right knuckles."

8. Tony Stewart — Stewart finished a quiet fourth in the Dan Lowry 400, taking a back seat to the drama provided by Joe Gibbs teammates Kyle Busch and Denny Hamlin. Stewart is now eighth in the points, 198 from the top, as rumors continue about his future with Joe Gibbs Racing. The latest gossip — Stewart will start his own team with Bass Pro Shops as the primary sponsor.

"If that's the case,” says Stewart, "then so be it. Can you imagine the number of suckers that would fall for the Bass Pro Shops Tony Stewart 'Smoke on the Water' fishing boat? It retails for $45,000. Have it signed by the five members of Deep Purple, and it's yours for $12,000."

9. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson, twice a winner at Richmond last year, was involved in a lap 231 accident that brought out the red flag and caused serious damage to the No. 48 Hendrick Impala. When racing resumed, Johnson headed to the pits for extensive repairs, and returned to the track in a car with no hood, in 35th position. He battled his way to an eventual finish of 30th, which cost him two places in the points. Johnson is now seventh, 177 points behind Kyle Busch.

"We debated long and hard about whether to leave the hood on or take it off,” says Johnson. "It's a dilemma that new parents of male children face every day. In the end, Rabbi Chad Knaus made the decision to take it off, which is odd, because Chad's used to putting things on to make the car go faster, not taking them off."

10. Jeff Gordon — After changing an engine, Gordon started dead last in Richmond and was a lap down by lap 45. But driving skill one would expect from a four-time champ, coupled with wise decisions in the pits, gave the team a ninth-place finish, a spectacular result under the circumstances. Gordon moved up one place in the points to 13th, where he is a mere six points out of 12th, which, 10 races into the year, means absolutely nothing.

"As chases go,” says Gordon, "the NASCAR Chase for the Sprint Cup has to be the slowest one around. We drivers are a persistent bunch. If normal folks had to chase something for 36 weeks to catch it, they would give up easily."

"As a team, we could have packed our bags when we were slumping and given up. But this team stayed strong, and crew chief Steve Letarte finally made the calls that gave me a drivable car. Earlier in the year, Steve couldn't do anything right. Heck, I thought he might be 'Letarte'd,' but I think his performance at Richmond proved otherwise."

"Now, Kyle Busch is stirring up just as much drama at Hendrick as he did when he was a member. Apparently, he's got a problem with the offspring of legendary drivers. That doesn't bode well for my daughter. I wouldn't put it past Busch to run her stroller off the road if it was the difference in winning or losing."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:04 AM | Comments (0)

May 7, 2008

What's the NBA's MVS?

On Tuesday, Kobe Bryant addressed the media for the first time as an NBA MVP. The voting actually turned out to be surprisingly distant in favor of Bryant, especially given everybody's expectations for Chris Paul and Kevin Garnett to make this a fairly close heat.

The acknowledgement of the Association's MVP is always one of the headlines at the end of the season. But with all the playoff talk and postseason awards comes one question. How did we get here? Through the regular season, stories have been building and breaking across the hardwood. So, if Commissioner David Stern had a vote, I wonder what the NBA's MVS (Most Valuable Storyline) would be for the '07-'08 season.

I've got a few suggestions for the commish.

Making it look Big Easy

As we make our way through the second round of the playoffs, the speeding train that is the New Orleans Hornets continue to gain a head of steam and be the surprise of the NBA's second season. Since Paul was drafted by the organization three years ago, there has been some anticipation to see when he would flourish under the professional spotlight. It's looking more and more like now is that time.

But it's not just CP3 that garners the attention. Include power forward David West with veteran presences in Tyson Chandler and Peja Stojakovic, and the healthy Hornets finally pushed through into playoff qualification and success.

More than that, they continue to provide positive influence, emotion, and attention on the city of New Orleans. Sure, I understand that it's closing in on three years since Hurricane Katrina devastated that region of the U.S. There are other important issues that people need to be concerned about. But anybody that thought the Crescent City would be an easy clean-up job was sadly misguided. I wonder how would the Larry O'Brien trophy would look traveling down Bourbon Street.

A New Sense of Pride

Back in the summer of 2007, the Boston Celtics were a bit of a laughing stock. The proud franchise with the most NBA titles had the worst record in the league, lost out on any of the top three picks in the draft lottery, and star player Paul Pierce wouldn't have minded a change in climate.

Enter trades for two proven veterans in Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen, and the fortunes of the Leprechauns seemed to be looking up. Optimists were certain that in a diluted Eastern Conference, the Celtics would make the playoffs, if not fight for the Atlantic Division crown.

But did many see this new version of the Big Three gelling so quickly that they would race out to the best record in the Association, then hold on to it with a 66-16 record? This might be the most important to the NBA rather than its fans, but whether you love 'em or hate 'em, the Celts are one of the three most important franchises in basketball (along with the Lakers and Knicks). Having them back to their winning ways has pumped a little life into this season.

Top Heavy vs. Bottom Loaded

It's been no secret that the Western Conference has put the East to shame for the last few years. Other than Detroit and Miami swiping championships in 2004 and 2006, the West has owned the reputation for better quality teams. However, that may not be more evident than in 2007-2008.

The best two records of the season resided in the East. But after that, nine of the next 10 best teams were from the West. From the Lakers through Golden State, each team ended up with at least 48 wins. All of the playoff competitors in the conference had 50 wins at worst. In the meantime, the bottom few entries in the East struggled to get to .500 on the season. So while Boston, Detroit, and Orlando wrapped their playoff slots fairly early, the left half of the country witnessed a final two-week stretch of unusually heightened drama that decided playoff contestants, division winners, and home-court advantage.

It has been interesting how the East has garnered more playoff drama so far than the potential bonanza that was supposed to occur out west. But the regular season race did end up turning a lot of people's heads toward the Association for the last couple of months, something that's difficult to do over an 82-game race.

Teamless in Seattle

This story has been years in the making. Ever since Clay Bennett bought the Supersonics from Howard Schultz, the overall notion was that the Oklahoma native would try to slip the team out of town and into Oklahoma City's waiting arms. Things finally seem to be in place to put the 40-year-old franchise in a new home within the next few months.

The biggest "movement" with the story this year has been the venom from all sides tugging at the organization. Politicians in western Washington have filed suits to keep the team in town through their lease, expiring in 2010. However, the most stunning words came from Commissioner David Stern. His statement referring to basketball leaving and not returning to the city under his watch were sad to hear about a place that had meant quite a lot to the league throughout the years.

Do Call it a Comeback

This is a minor story with respect to all of the others, but in my mind, a noteworthy one. Nene Hilario was diagnosed with a malignant testicular tumor near the beginning of the calendar. In the span of just two-plus months, the Denver Nuggets forward went through surgery, received chemotherapy treatment, and returned to the court for a late-season contest against Dallas.

Fortunately, it appears everything was caught early in this instance, and Nene only needed one radiation session before his return. However, in the wake of University of Tennessee guard Chris Lofton's tale of playing through his ordeal with cancer over the last year, it still amazes me how athletes can fight through this kind of disease and return to contribute to their teams physically and emotionally. This should be the NBA's feel-good story of the year.

Those would be my top five choices, but what about you readers? I open up the floor for debate and analysis (and outright ridicule, if that's your fancy). Which one of these headlines would you pick for the NBA's MVS of 2007-2008? Or do you have another story that might top the list? The choice is yours.

Posted by Jonathan Lowe at 11:03 PM | Comments (0)

May 6, 2008

Buzzie Bavasi, RIP: Thoughtful Owning Up

It was November 17, 1966 and, arguably, the most marquee name in baseball — who'd skipped his club's exhibition tour of Japan, saying his arm needed a rest — was about to call it a career. His general manager, Buzzie Bavasi, wanted one small favor.

"Wait until O'Malley comes back from Japan," Bavasi pleaded. "Wait until the winter meetings."

The marquee name replied words (they are long since lost, apparently) to the effect that it was time to stop the pretense. Ask Bavasi four decades later what made that name so different, and he would reply without hesitation, "I don't think Sandy ever told a lie in his life."

All Buzzie Bavasi wanted from Sandy Koufax was a little time to let the Dodgers swing a deal for another pitcher before Koufax, who'd made the decision before pitching his final season, called it quits. All Sandy Koufax could do was go ahead with the press conference he called for the following day and say goodbye, quit the stall.

It left Bavasi steamed for only a short while. It wasn't in Bavasi to hold any kind of grudge, and he had a few reasons to hold a few grudges.

Walter O'Malley wasn't the villain who simply absconded with the Dodgers out of Brooklyn for no better reason than a California gold rush, but neither was he the genuinely benevolent type, either, when it came to a dollar in his drawer. Bavasi, who died May 1 at 93, was a victim more than once, even when he was the occasional player after O'Malley's heart.

Koufax and Don Drysdale inadvertently caused one such occasion. The two pitchers held out famously enough before the 1966 season for a fat three-year split of a million dollars between the pair of them. The holdout made headlines and almost made movie stars out of the two pitchers — they'd signed a deal to act with David Janssen (then still running high in television's The Fugitive) in Warning Shot, Drysdale playing a reporter and Koufax a police detective. It also showed the embryonic Major League Baseball Players' Association what could be done when you negotiated together.

Bavasi's first offer was $100,000 for Koufax and $90,000 for Drysdale. In time, he agitated both pitchers by telling them, separately, that each was a little bit off by asking for so much when the other guy was asking for so little, something neither other guy had actually done.

This was standard procedure for years in the reserve era, and Bavasi wasn't even close to the worst of the lot when it came to exercising such tricks. (If anything, Bavasi was capable of using tricks like that to give a player he liked more than he wanted — he once hoodwinked Gil Hodges into taking $5,000 more than Hodges himself sought, shuffling contracts on the desk until Hodges picked one ... unaware that all those shuffling contracts had the $25,000 Bavasi planned to offer him from the outset.)

As the holdout ate into both pitchers' spring training, the two finally dropped their demand for a million-dollar split and a five-year deal, but insisted on the same pay. Bavasi finally upped the offers to $120,000 for Koufax and $100,000 for Drysdale. When Koufax reminded Bavasi the pair were going for the same nut, Bavasi immediately hiked Drysdale ten thousand more.

With their spring trainings cut down to one exhibition appearance each before the season was to begin, Koufax went out and went 27-9, hung up a 1.73 ERA, and struck out 312 batters. Drysdale went out and went 13-16, hung up a 3.42 ERA, and struck out 177. Bavasi still couldn't complain: Koufax was half the last pennant a Bavasi-operated Dodger team would win ... and Bavasi was counting that $10,000 he'd been promised as a bonus if the Dodgers won that pennant.

"So I got a nice note from Walter at the end of the season after we won the pennant," Bavasi would remember, "Dear Buzzie, too bad you gave your bonus to Drysdale. I had to pay for Drysdale's 10 thousand."

Bavasi's generosity toward players he liked sometimes went to curious extremes. When Willie Davis, once a graceful center fielder, but just about finished by the mid-1970s, was swapped to the San Diego Padres after a so-so turn in St. Louis, Bavasi kept him around at a decent salary ... because Davis was said to be into Bavasi for barrels of money Bavasi had forwarded him during his Dodger years.

"Whenever a player needed a loan," the New York Times' George Vecsey once noted, "Bavasi made it, no questions asked. He could be a thoughtful, decent boss."

He was also decent enough to be unafraid to do what needed to be done, when baseball's color line needed to be broken at last, and the Dodgers were the club to do it. Bavasi was running the Dodger farm at Nashua, New Hampshire, when Jackie Robinson was girding himself for the big step on the Dodgers' Montreal farm. Two on the Nashua club were genial Roy Campanella and bristling Don Newcombe.

"I didn't always do the right thing as a player," Newcombe told reporters upon Bavasi's death, "but Buzzie always gave me a chance to straighten myself out and get back on track." Buzzie would also challenge an entire club, as he once did to a Red Sox farm whose players couldn't resist letting Campanella and Newcombe have it, often obscenely.

Bavasi in retirement never surrendered the game he loved. He bragged about the three or more games a day he would watch from a spacious enough home in La Jolla, California, giving him a postcard view of the Pacific Ocean and a lifetime of memories to keep fresh with each game.

"The Red Sox beat the Yankees, the White Sox beat the Orioles, and now the Braves are playing the Mets," Bavasi wrote in a note to another New York Times columnist, Dave Anderson, who'd made his original journalistic bones covering the Dodgers for the ancient Brooklyn Eagle. "See what you can do when you have a 12-foot satellite dish, DirecTV and cable. Tell me a better way to retire."

You couldn't tell any him such thing.

Bavasi could also be gently witty in owning up to his own mistakes. He'd been foolish enough to let Nolan Ryan walk away from the California Angels (Bavasi ran that club from 1977 through 1984, building its first serious contenders) after the 1979 season, demurring on paying Ryan anything more than the originally proposed $500,000 a year for the five years to come, after Ryan had struggled through a walk year that produced a 16-14 record.

"All I have to do," Bavasi would say infamously enough, "is find a pair of 8-7 pitchers."

He was the first to admit he'd made the biggest mistake of his career as a baseball executive. And he'd admit it over a decade after the fact, when Ryan — now with the Texas Rangers — unhooked the sixth of his seven no-hitters. "Nolan," Bavasi wired Ryan, "some time ago I made it public that I made a mistake. You don't have to rub it in."

Bavasi had ways of atoning for such mistakes. When the Yankees decided Reggie Jackson wasn't Reggie Jackson any longer, Bavasi knew better. He couldn't wait to snap Jackson up for the Angels. "I am a Reggie Jackson fan,” he wrote in a letter disclosed recently, “because he meant a lot to my Angels club and consider him a good friend who belongs in the Hall even though the candy bar named after him should have been Buttterfingers."

Okay, so Bavasi wasn't averse to stealing a punch line from Graig Nettles.

Posted by Jeff Kallman at 11:09 AM | Comments (0)

May 5, 2008

Buzz Saw: The Battle For Sports Media's Soul

As many of you have seen or heard, the conflict between the "mainstream media" and the "blogosphere" came to a climax during a roundtable discussion on HBO's "Costas NOW" program.

The live show, broken into five segments dealing with various influences on the world of sports, featured a heated attack on Deadspin editor Will Leitch by Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative journalist and best-selling author Buzz Bissinger (Friday Night Lights, Three Nights in August).

This wasn't just a heated exchange. This was one very angry and abusive individual attacking another with malicious intent. And though moderator Bob Costas did a credible job in attempting to intercede on Leitch's behalf, the entire segment, intended to be a discussion on the influence of the Internet on sports, turned into one man's indignant diatribe.

The fallout has been predictable. Those in the traditional media, Costas included, have been taking shots at online writers for some time now (some valid, some not). Though some traditional media columnists have come down on Bissinger's profane delivery, they haven't repudiated his central point that blogs are a stain on sports coverage. In fact, they seem to quite agree with him.

And of course the blogosphere went nuts with a vitriol surpassing even Bissinger's own. Head off to the Deadspin message boards and you'll see what I mean. Many writers and readers of blogs see themselves as pioneers of sorts. To them, Bissinger is no more than a relic attempting to hold on to a place of influence in a culture that has passed him by.

But, of course, it's not that simple.

Don't Fence Me In

Let's get one thing straight from the get-go: Blogs are a medium. I don't lump Jerry Seinfeld and Andrew Dice Clay together because they both stand on stage and tell jokes. I don't lump Jack Johnson and Pantera together because they sing. And I don't lump Michael Wilbon and Gregg Doyle together because they both write for corporate media outlets. Sharing a medium does not imply a shared membership in a culture. We do what we do out of our own personal needs, the messages we want to convey and the opportunities and talents we have with which to convey them.

As an example, I write about sports on my blog The Left Calf. I put a heavy focus on my favorite teams because that's what interests me most. I also write about national, international and entertainment news. Sometimes I curse. Sometimes I hit below the belt. And sometimes I try to offer an intellectual breakdown of complex issues like racial conflict in America and why there will never be peace in the Middle East. I'm by no means the best writer out there, but I like to think I've carved out a little niche for myself (even if my readership primarily consists of a few friends and my sister).

Other blog writers may focus solely on sports, or on their families, or on a certain television show or band or politics or any particular sub-culture that shares a common viewpoint. The fact we all happen to write online does not connect us in some vast community.

In other words, any attempt to defame or defend "bloggers" as a group is an exercise based on the false premise that we are a group. We're not.

The Argument Over Credentials

The argument against blogs and the writers who write them depends on the same logic as racism, sexism or the belief in any one subset's superiority to another. It is the argument that all of one group is better than all of another group, that even the worst of one is better than the best of another. Having attended more than a few sporting events as a member of the credentialed media, I assure you this is not the case.

Just as there is a great number of horrible bloggers, bad writers out to do nothing but spew negative and inaccurate vile, there is a sizable population within the mainstream media fitting the same description. And just as there are some truly great writers with bylines in traditional media, there are also some truly talented and thoughtful individuals sharing their thoughts through non-traditional online outlets. To argue the "credentialed" mainstream media are the only ones who have earned the right to publish for public consumption is small-minded at best, bigoted at worst.

With that said, there is just as much falsehood in the idea of an impending "death" of mainstream media as there is in the idea new media has nothing to offer. Simply put, mainstream media could still exist without blogs (and would probably prefer to do so). Sports blogs would largely be empty shells of pure observation if not for the work by trained journalists.

I can't get a quote from Tony La Russa on why he decided to hit Ryan Ludwick leadoff against the Reds. I can't get an NFL scout on the phone while I'm working on my NFL mock draft. I depend on the reporters — print and online — to do that for me. And after they do their jobs, I use their work to form my opinion. You can get a lot from simply watching the games and combing over stat tables, but it's the work of the credentialed media covering the sport that gives us the color we use to paint our pictures.

"The Romanticism is Gone"

Al Michaels issued that quote during the Costas show, and it touches on one of my pet peeves with the older generation of America — the over-romanticism of history.

Contrary to what many older Americans would like to think, things were not so golden in the golden age. Roger Maris was tormented by a New York media with a negative agenda during his chase of Babe Ruth's home run record. And though we now recognize Jackie Robinson as a hero, reporters and columnists throughout the South weren't shy about their distaste for the inclusion of black (and Jewish) players in baseball.

Outside of sports, there was plenty of media support for the internment of Japanese during World War II. There were plenty of columnists hailing George Wallace's refusal to integrate Alabama schools. And there were more than a few writers around the nation happy to see the batons crack the heads of protesters in Berkley, Chicago, and Kent State.

Where exactly is the romance in that?

The point is not that the media is bad. The point is that the media has always been a representation of the people. If a community feels a certain way about an issue, chances are their local newspaper will espouse those views. Newspapers have, and always will be, a business. And it only makes good business sense to connect with those whose money you depend on for survival. The traditional media has earned no moral high ground from which to cast their aspersions on the agendas of blog writers.

Where Are the Standards?

Freedom is a tricky thing. It can lead to new revelations, out-of-the-box thinking and progress the status quo can never hope to achieve. But it also allows for the worst in us. Self-control isn't a natural tendency, especially when one has the ability to hide behind a moniker like "Balls Deep" or "Tits McGee."

The freedom to use "obscene" language fought for at great personal cost by guys like Lenny Bruce gave rise to future great comedians like George Carlin, Richard Pryor, and Dave Chappelle. It also opened the door for idiots who stand on stage rambling on about sex with fat women. The freedom to be our best inherently comes with the freedom to be our worst. You can't have one without the other.

Writers working for corporate media trade in their freedom for the access, paycheck and captive audience. St. Louis Post-Dispatch columnist Bernie Miklasz may want to call La Russa an asshole in print, but he can't. He has traded away that right. I, on the other hand, have not. I don't get the access, paycheck, or audience, but I can call whomever whatever I wish. And it is that freedom that has both empowered sports bloggers to raise questions the traditional media may avoid (criticizing the Cardinals' medical staff) and carte blanche to call Cesar Izturis dirty names involving goat genitalia. Again, you can't have the freedom for one without the freedom for the other.

So Now What?

While tearing Leitch a new one, Bissinger actually ended up giving him too much credit. Yes, he and his Deadspin-style of sports coverage are here to stay. But it is not the future. It is only part of the future. The web has permanently and inextricably shouldered its way to the bar, standing as equal part with print, television, and radio coverage as mediums for consumption by fans who want to go beyond the box score. And someday some new thing will come along and we'll argue about that, as well.

But as each new medium comes along, don't make the mistake of thinking we're closing the book on another. We all have our parts to play in this mad world. Bissinger has his. Leitch has his. And I have mine, as small as it may be.

And together, we will use what words we have to share our thoughts with as many people as will listen.

Seth Doria is a writer based out of St. Louis. For intelligent insight, sophomoric insult, and everything in between, visit The Left Calf.

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 11:56 AM | Comments (2)

The Perils of Playoff Hockey

On Saturday evening, a garden-variety weekend sports report by Joe Trahan of WFAA (Dallas' ABC affiliate) foretold of the possible but seemingly unthinkable doom that the Dallas Stars could be facing in the next few days.

"Only two times in NHL history has a team come back from down three games to none to win a best-of-seven playoff series. The 1942 Maple Leafs and 1975 Islanders both accomplished the feat," Trahan said.

"Guess what? You may not want to hear it, Stars fans, but it's been 33 years."

Joe was right. We didn't want to hear it.

Before mid-October 2004, the down 3-0 comeback was a myth of sorts.

The question would always be asked something like this, "No one's ever comeback from three games down, right?"

"A couple of hockey teams did it way back in the day," the answer would go, with the clear intonation that the two renegade hockey teams didn't truly count. After all, who, other than the oldest Ontarians or the day one Long Island hockey fans remembers actually following a three games to none comeback?

But four years ago, we saw it happen. It doesn't matter that the Yankees/Red Sox ALCS had as much to do with hockey as Buzz Bissinger has to do with sports blogging. It was a seven-game series and a team found their inner Lazarus.

When your team has gone up 3-0 or has been gone up on, the feeling was clear. The series was over.

That sentiment is probably still in effect today, in fact. But for whatever reason, I didn't feel that way after the Stars' 2-1 overtime win over the Sharks in Game 3 to go up three-love. Nonetheless, unsubstantiated hubris led me to call my friend David (the type of hockey fan who probably watches 40-50 regular season Stars games) to say, "Bring on the Wings!"

"Dude, knock on wood! NOW!"

Of course, if this comeback happens, I can't help but feel a wee bit responsible for, as Denny Green would say, "letting 'em off the hook."

And yet, I know that my comments have no effect on a sports team. But these are the tension-stuffed NHL playoffs, where my team losing under these circumstances might have me ill to even look at an ice rink for the foreseeable future.

David and I weren't completely confident after Game 3 because we knew that the Stars hadn't produced the type of dominant performance that resulted in four multiple-goal wins against defending Cup champions Anaheim in the first round. The San Jose series to that point could have credited the Stars with two third periods bossed in Games 2 and 3 and an 18-shot Game 1 win that had all Stars fans saying, "I don't know how we won that game."

Game 4 saw Dallas give up one too many power plays and all-everything (but just back from injury) defenseman Sergei Zubov make a goal-allowing mistake on the blue line on Dallas' power play for the second straight night. Game 5 was aggravating in that San Jose outworked the Stars in the third period, something that has been a Dallas trademark thus far this spring. In addition, two Brendan Morrow goals were disallowed.

The situation Stars fans are in right now can't be helped by the sports developments of the past 24 months in Dallas, where the Mavericks and Cowboys (of which I am a fan of the Mavericks only) have earned the deserved labels of "playoff choke artists" and the Rangers are one of the most consistently irrelevant big-market clubs in any sport.

However, by the time you read this, the Stars will have closed things out at home in Game 6, the last 20 or so paragraphs of "oh, no" can be rendered null, or sports' fourth historic comeback will be just a home win in the Shark Tank away from happening.

Posted by Ross Lancaster at 11:20 AM | Comments (0)

May 3, 2008

How the Yankees Became the Red Sox

The Red Sox' championship turn over the last few seasons has caused some unforeseen side effects.

The formerly loveable loser Boston Red Sox have become the new Evil Empire. Their fans, who used to be looked upon with pity, are now looked upon with annoyance as they fill every ballpark the Red Sox visit.

The "pink hat" Red Sox fans are another phenomenon altogether. I'm not sure what to think of this group, but I'm pretty sure they didn't exist before 2004 (at least in large numbers).

Red Sox fans, a group that I am relatively proud to have spent my entire life a part of, are completely out of control — and deservedly so, considering everything we went through prior to 2004.

But those side effects can be expected. What started happening in New York the day the Red Sox came back from 0-3 in 2004 was completely unexpected.

When Sox Were Sox and Yankees Were Yankees

As Peter Gammons loves to remind us, the Red Sox "curse" wasn't a curse at all.

It was bad management, bad player development, bad talent evaluating, and bad ownership.

It was ignoring pitching for the sake of hitting.

It was going after the wrong free agents and paying them way too much money.

It was resigning their old guys who couldn't play anymore and letting the guys go who could still play.

It was wasting all of their money on position players and ignoring the pitching staff.

You can win in the regular season with hitting. Anyone can bash their way into the playoffs.

But once you make the playoffs, the cold October weather is not conducive to big hitting teams, especially in Boston. It's pitching weather.

The Yankees (for the most part) have always seemed to understand this. When the Red Sox were signing Manny Ramirez, the Yankees were signing Mike Mussina. The Yankees of the late '90s were tremendous pitching teams. They won championships even though they weren't nearly the nightmarish lineup the Yankees feature today.

Because the Yankees always had the better pitching, they were always better built for the long haul. When the Red Sox would jump out to division leads in April and May, the Yankees, their owner, and their fans would confidently point to October ... reminding the world that World Series rings weren't awarded in April or May.

George Steinbrenner once called the Red Sox the champions of April, while his Yankees were champions in October. That pretty much summed up the two teams prior to 2004 in a nutshell.

In 1978, the Red Sox lost because they had a lesser manager and a much lesser pitching staff.

In 1986, the Red Sox lost because the back of their bullpen featured an 80 year old Bob Stanley and Calvin Schiraldi.

In 2003, the Red Sox lost because their starting pitching wasn't deep enough and their manager didn't trust the back-end of their bullpen.

The Red Sox weren't cursed, they were never good enough when it counted.

Trading Spaces

In 2004, the Red Sox figured it out (partially by mistake).

The Yankees went out and got A-Rod (after the Red Sox famously failed in their pursuit). The Red Sox went out and got Curt Schilling and Keith Foulke.

The Red Sox won a World Series, and the Yankees had a meltdown as bad or worse than any the "cursed" Red Sox had ever experienced. The Red Sox went on to win the World Series. Everything changed, for both the Red Sox and the Yankees.

To counter the Red Sox finally winning the World Series, the Yankees decided to become the pre-2004 Red Sox.

They signed Johnny Damon instead of addressing their lacking bullpen and aging starting rotation. They traded for Bobby Abreu instead of getting themselves more pitching. They refused to part with young players to get Johan Santana, claiming the money was prohibitive, then gave a 36-year-old catcher $52 million.

The Yankees have become the Red Sox.

Transformation Complete

The change happened so quickly it almost went unnoticed. The Yankees, after all, still make the playoffs every season. Up until last year, they still won the AL East every year.

Something was different, but it was hard to place. Most just assumed the Red Sox had gotten better, but it was more than that.

It all came to a head last month, when an overzealous Red Sox fan tried to "curse" the Yankees by burying a David Ortiz jersey under the concrete of the new Yankee Stadium.

George Steinbrenner would have laughed this off, fired Billy Martin, claimed he only believed in curses that effected Boston, and he would have re-hired Billy Martin.

Hank Steinbrenner panicked, spent $50,000 digging it up, called it a terrible, terrible thing, and then complained about Joba being in the bullpen.

The new Yankees have bad management, bad starting pitching, and an overpaid, over-the-hill starting nine.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the world of the Boston Yankees and the New York Red Sox.

It's nice to finally be on the other side...

I'm SeanMC.

SeanMC is a senior writer for Bleacher Report and writes a column for Sports Central every other Thursday. You can read more articles by SeanMC on his blog.

Posted by Sean Crowe at 11:44 AM | Comments (3)

May 2, 2008

The Best Passing and Running QBs

Steve McNair retired last week after 13 NFL seasons. During that time — and I know you've already seen this a hundred times — he passed for over 30,000 yards and rushed for over 3,000 yards, one of only three players ever to do so. The list of quarterbacks who were great passers and great runners is not a long one, but it's an interesting subject.

What I've tried to do here is to rank the 20 best run/pass quarterbacks of the Super Bowl era. It's not an easy thing to do. Rushing statistics for quarterbacks are often difficult to interpret, a problem attributable largely to the ridiculous inclusion of kneel-downs in rushing stats. In 2007, for instance, Peyton Manning scored three rushing touchdowns, but finished the season with -5 rushing yards. Manning doesn't scare anyone with his legs, but he's not that bad.

I toyed with the idea of creating a run/pass statistic akin to a power/speed number in baseball, using TD/INT +/- and rushing TDs. Testing that matrix on the 2007 season, I found that the best mark in the league belonged to ... Peyton Manning. Clearly, this wasn't going to work.

What you'll find below is my personal, and largely subjective, list of the best run/pass QBs of the last 40 years. Forget arguing about the best running quarterback of all time or the greatest pure passer in history — I looked for players who were good runners and good passers. Dan Marino had one of the best arms in history, but he was slower than most of his linemen. Bobby Douglass was a terrific runner who couldn't throw. Tom Brady and Manning are terrific passers, but they aren't exactly speed demons. Michael Vick wasn't terrible as a passer, but people used to say, only half-joking, that he should switch to running back or wide receiver. You won't find any of those players on this list. We're looking for the best of both worlds.

The 20 Greatest Run/Pass QBs of the Super Bowl Era

20. Warren Moon
49,325 passing yards, 291 passing TDs, 80.9 passer rating
1,736 rushing yards, 22 rushing TDs

We don't normally think of Moon as a runner, but while it's true that he was never Vick, Moon was a good runner until he was almost 40 years old. During his first 10 seasons in the NFL (1984-93), Moon scored at least one rushing touchdown nine times, rushed for over 100 yards eight times, and rushed for over 200 yards three times. His early NFL career, however, doesn't even represent Moon's prime as a runner. Undrafted out of college, Moon played six seasons in the Canadian Football League — rushing for another 1,700 yards and 16 touchdowns — before he ever saw action in the NFL.

19. Greg Landry
16,052 passing yards, 98 passing TDs, 72.9 passer rating
2,655 rushing yards, 21 rushing TDs

Landry was one of the greatest running QBs in history. His ratio of running yards to passing yards is the third-highest in history among players with at least 10,000 passing yards; Michael Vick and Kordell Stewart hold the top two spots, but Landry was a better passer than either of them (he's still the weakest passer on my list). Landry rushed for over 200 yards six times in his career — every year he was a starter — and twice rushed for over 500 yards. He averaged 6.2 yards per run during his career.

18. Jeff Blake
21,711 passing yards, 134 passing TDs, 78.0 passer rating
2,027 rushing yards, 14 rushing TDs

You probably don't think of Blake as much of a passer, and it's true that he's listed more for his legs than his arm, but Blake wasn't Kordell Stewart. In 1995, he threw for 3,822 yards and 28 touchdowns with only 17 interceptions. The same year, he ran for two touchdowns and over 300 yards. Blake's career touchdown-to-interception differential of +35 (134-99) is better than those of Troy Aikman (+24), Jeff Hostetler (+23), Elvis Grbac (+18), Eli Manning (+13), and Vinny Testaverde (+8). And of course, it's better than those of Vick (+19) and Stewart (-7).

17. Jeff Garcia
22,825 passing yards, 149 passing TDs, 87.2 passer rating
1,994 rushing yards, 25 rushing TDs

Few quarterbacks in today's game are willing to put their bodies on the line the way Garcia is. He has played a full season only three times in his nine-season NFL career, but he has rushed for over 200 yards five times, and he has twice as many rushing TDs as Brett Favre (13). Garcia doesn't throw for a ton of yardage, but his efficiency — we just discussed TD/INT differential, and Garcia's is +72 — has earned him four Pro Bowl selections.

16. Archie Manning
23,911 passing yards, 125 passing TDs, 67.1 passer rating
2,197 rushing yards, 18 rushing TDs

I have no idea why Peyton and Eli are so slow, because Pa Manning ran all the time, and with some degree of success. This was often by necessity rather than choice — the Saints weren't known for their great offensive line during the 1970s — but Archie was among the top three rushing QBs in the league three times. Most impressively, he averaged 5.7 yards per rushing attempt during his career. Less impressively, his passing was so inefficient that he averaged more yards per rush than pass several times during his career.

15. Joe Montana
40,551 passing yards, 273 passing TDs, 92.3 passer rating
1,676 rushing yards, 20 rushing TDs

It feels a little wrong to put Joe Montana 15th on an all-time list. The problem is that Montana was too good a runner to leave him off, but not so exceptional that he made the top 10. I'm not happy about it, either, okay? Montana probably ran less often than any other quarterback with his skill on the ground. He was a situational runner, and knew when to pick his spots. Montana's finest moment as a runner came in Super Bowl XIX, when he dominated the Dolphins with both his running and his throwing.

14. Doug Flutie
14,715 passing yards, 86 passing TDs, 76.3 passer rating
1,634 rushing yards, 10 rushing TDs

Flutie, as most fans know, spent eight years — the prime of his career — in the Canadian Football League. During that time, he set a single-season CFL record (which still stands) for rushing TDs by a quarterback. CFL statistics are not equivalent to NFL stats, but Flutie's combined numbers give him over 55,000 passing yards and 350 TDs, over 6,000 rushing yards and 70 TDs. In 1999, at the age of 37, Flutie led all NFL quarterbacks in rushing.

13. Rich Gannon
28,743 passing yards, 180 passing TDs, 84.7 passer rating
2,449 rushing yards, 21 rushing TDs

I think a strong case can be made for putting Gannon higher than this. Not firmly entrenched as a starter until he was in his mid-30s, Gannon spent his athletic prime sitting on the bench rather than sprinting downfield. When he played, though, Gannon was always a good runner. In 2000, at age 34, he rushed for 529 yards and four TDs with a 5.9 average.

12. Daunte Culpepper
22,422 passing yards, 142 passing TDs, 89.9 passer rating
2,536 rushing yards, 33 rushing TDs

If Culpepper can make a comeback, he will rise on this list very quickly. His fine passing stats don't reflect, in the minds of many fans and analysts, Culpepper's true talent so much as they reflect that he played most of his career with Randy Moss. But if Daunte has another Pro Bowl season or two, he'll easily make the top 10, maybe even the top five. Okay, probably not the top five, but I could see him sixth.

11. Mark Brunell
31,826 passing yards, 182 passing TDs, 84.2 passer rating
2,433 rushing yards, 15 rushing TDs

Brunell is the only quarterback in the Super Bowl era to lead the NFL in passing yards and lead all QBs in rushing the same season. In fact, only three other players have led the league in those categories in separate seasons: Ken Anderson, Daunte Culpepper, and Fran Tarkenton. Brunell has thrown for over 3,000 yards six times and rushed for over 200 yards seven times.

10. Joe Theismann
25,206 passing yards, 160 passing TDs, 77.4 passer rating
1,815 rushing yards, 17 rushing TDs

Joe Theismann was so fast that he was used as a punt returner early in his career. In 1974, Theismann returned 15 punts for 157 yards, a respectable 10.5 average. Playing with one of the best offensive lines in history, Theismann seldom had to run, but he never lost his speed. In 1984, the year before his gruesome career-ending injury, Theismann led all quarterbacks in rushing yards, and he finished among the top 10 eight times.

9. Donovan McNabb
25,404 passing yards, 171 passing TDs, 85.8 passer rating
2,962 rushing yards, 24 rushing TDs

Barring a career-crippling injury or a sudden and dramatic decline, McNabb will rise on this list. It's a shame for football fans, and for the Eagles specifically, that he doesn't run much these days. McNabb is 31, but he can still get things done on the ground. If Flutie could lead the league at 37, McNabb can do it at 31 or 32. Already, he has rushed for over 200 yards in a season eight times, leading the league in 2000.

8. Steve McNair
31,304 passing yards, 174 passing TDs, 82.8 passer rating
3,590 rushing yards, 37 rushing TDs

Is this ranking too low? Yes, I suspect it is. McNair is unquestionably one of the greatest runners we've ever seen at the quarterback position. Five times he rushed for over 400 yards in a season. But McNair never threw for more than 3,400 yards or 24 TDs in a season. Only twice did he finish among the NFL's top 10 in passing yards. McNair was certainly not a bad passer, but he wasn't Dan Marino, either.

7. Ken Anderson
32,838 passing yards, 197 passing TDs, 81.9 passer rating
2,220 rushing yards, 20 rushing TDs

Anderson is known as a great passer. He led the NFL in passing yards twice and in passer rating four times. He was also an exceptional runner. Ten times, Anderson ranked among the NFL's top ten rushing QBs, leading the league in 1981, when he was named NFL MVP. His 5.6 yards per rushing attempt is among the best marks in history.

6. Terry Bradshaw
27,989 passing yards, 212 passing TDs, 70.9 passer rating
2,257 rushing yards, 32 rushing TDs

As you see the career statistics for older players, keep in mind that the NFL played 14-game seasons until 1978. Bradshaw, like Theismann, played on a team so good that he didn't have to run — or for that matter, throw — very often, but he had a definite talent for both. From 1974-76, a period during which the Steelers won two Super Bowls, Bradshaw rushed for at least 200 yards and a 6.0 average every season. In 1972, when Pittsburgh made the playoffs for the first time in team history, Bradshaw ran for a career-high 346 yards and seven TDs with a 6.0 average.

5. Randall Cunningham
29,979 passing yards, 207 passing TDs, 81.5 passer rating
4,928 rushing yards, 35 rushing TDs

His running is legendary. Six times Cunningham led all NFL quarterbacks in rushing yardage, including 1990, when he rushed for 942 yards and five TDs with an 8.0 average. Less famously, Cunningham was also a fine passer. Trapped with a poor receiving corps for most of his career, a past-his-prime Cunningham still performed at all-pro level when he finally got to play with a great supporting cast in Minnesota. He is among the NFL all-time top 30 in both passing yards and passing TDs, and he has more rushing yardage than any other quarterback in NFL history.

4. John Elway
51,475 passing yards, 300 passing TDs, 79.9 passer rating
3,407 rushing yards, 33 rushing TDs

For this project, I checked QB rushing statistics for every season of the Super Bowl era. Many quarterbacks are good runners when they enter the league, but none was more consistent than Elway, who ranked among the top 10 QBs in rushing yards an incredible 14 times. That's twice as many as Steve McNair. Elway rushed for over 200 yards in a season 11 times — the most of any QB in history — and he was among the top three running QBs in 1984, '85, '87, and '94.

3. Roger Staubach
22,700 passing yards, 153 passing TDs, 83.4 passer rating
2,264 rushing yards, 20 rushing TDs

In a career shortened by military service and an early retirement — in his final season, Staubach led the NFL in passer rating and set a career high in TD passes — Roger the Dodger established himself as one of the greatest running quarterbacks the game has ever seen. He ranked among the top 10 rushing QBs every full season of his career, and he rushed for over 300 yards three times. In the Cowboys' 1971 Super Bowl season, Staubach had career highs for rushing yards (343) and average (8.4).

2. Fran Tarkenton
47,003 passing yards, 342 passing TDs, 80.4 passer rating
3,674 rushing yards, 32 rushing TDs

Here is a list of every quarterback in NFL history with more passing yards than Tarkenton: Brett Favre, Dan Marino, John Elway, Warren Moon. Here is a list of every quarterback in NFL history with more rushing yards than Tarkenton: Randall Cunningham, Steve Young, Michael Vick. While other quarterbacks may have been better rushers, Tarkenton is unquestionably the most renowned scrambler in history. He ran for over 300 yards seven times.

1. Steve Young
33,124 passing yards, 232 passing TDs, 96.8 passer rating
4,239 rushing yards, 43 rushing TDs

No one, not even Tarkenton, has combined great passing and great running like Steve Young. He finished among the top three QBs in rushing yardage eight times, more than any other quarterback in history. He also led the NFL in passer rating six times, more than any other quarterback in history. His 43 rushing TDs are the most by any QB, and his 96.8 passer rating is the best all-time.

Sometimes fans try to whitewash Young's brilliance as a runner. In 1994, when Young was named NFL MVP and led the 49ers to a Super Bowl win, he broke the single-season record for passer rating, but he also led all QBs in rushing yardage and scored seven TDs on the ground. When Young was named MVP of Super Bowl XXIX, he set a Super Bowl record that may never be broken, with six passing TDs, but he also led all rushers — including Ricky Watters and Natrone Means — in yards, averaging nearly 10 yards per attempt.

Since the disappearance of run-pass tailbacks, and maybe even including them, Young combined passing and running skill at the highest level football fans have seen.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 11:30 AM | Comments (0)

May 1, 2008

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 9

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kyle Busch — Busch survived late charges from Juan Montoya, Jeff Gordon, and Denny Hamlin to win at Talladega, crossing the finish under caution as all hell broke loose behind him. After falling a lap down when he missed his pit stall on lap 64, Busch took the lead on lap 184 with help from Gordon, then powered to the finish with an extended push from the No. 42 Juicy Fruit Dodge of Montoya. Busch then victoriously took a bow atop his M&M's Joe Gibbs Toyota.

"That was an awesome race," says Busch. "I'm looking California, and feeling Alabama. I guess I out-shined the rest of the field. It was great for the fans to give me a standing ovation, although my glee was short-lived once I found out they were just standing to leave. The Kyle Busch fan base is just that — base, as in 'low or menial.' My fan club is just that — a club of one fan."

"That's okay, though. I'm used to winning in places where fans don't care. Look, I won the Corona Mexico 200 in Mexico City, and all I got was a congratulatory call from one single person, an hombre calling himself 'Senor Panties' who sounded an awful lot like Tony Stewart with an accent."

"Anyway, I'd like to thank my favorite Colombian NASCAR driver named 'Juan,' Juan Pablo Montoya, for his escort to the finish. The Juicy Fruit car following the M&M's car truly made for a sweet draft, and the 'Candy Connection' took me to the win. The last time I had a Colombian that hot on my tail, somebody mistook me for Aaron Fike."

2. Denny Hamlin — Hamlin was at or near the front nearly all day, leading nine times for 37 laps. Trailing Kyle Busch and Juan Montoya, Hamlin was running third on the final lap, poised to make a move for the lead when a huge 11-car accident brought out the caution, spoiling any attempt for the win. Hamlin's third moved him up two places to fourth in the points, where he trails Jeff Burton by 99 points.

"I felt I had the power to run up front as well as push others to the front," says Hamlin. "When I put my front end flush against another's back end, there was magic created. And I'm not ashamed to say it. I'm referring to the cars, mind you."

3. Jeff Burton — Burton was collected in the last-lap accident at Talladega, but survived to limp home with just a flat front tire. He finished 12th and maintains his lead in the Sprint Cup point standings.

"Congratulations to Joe Nemechek for qualifying that 'National Day of Prayer' car on the pole for Sunday's race. In these trying times of religious strife throughout the world, what this country sorely needs is a race car to remind them to say a prayer. And at least five other cars to cue them on their beer and liquor selections. Personally, I felt it was a perfect time for a prayer with 10 laps to go and the field running five-wide down the backstretch."

4. Carl Edwards — Edwards blew a tire and slammed the wall on lap 116, suffering the same fate that victimized Roush Fenway teammate Matt Kenseth on lap 19. In Saturday's Nationwide Aaron's 312, Edwards went airborne in a multi-car crash on lap 70, totaling his car. He finished 31st in that race and 40th on Sunday, and fell one spot to tenth in the Sprint Cup point standings.

"Hey, I love Lynyrd Skynyrd just as much as the next guy," says Edwards, "but my experiences here definitely didn't have me singing 'Sweet Home Alabama.' However, I think Kevin Lepage must have had 'Gimme Three Steps' on his mind when he merged into a pack of cars doing 190 miles per hour in the Nationwide race. That's about all the room he gave me. He must have demolished about $2 million worth of equipment, but this hand gesture I'm giving him doesn't cost a penny. It's called a 'Free Bird.'"

5. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. — Starting ninth, Earnhardt was a factor throughout Sunday's Aaron's 499, pacing the field for 46 of the race's 188 laps. Fifteen laps from the end, Tony Stewart cut a right-front tire, triggering a six-car accident that damaged the No. 88 Amp Chevy. Earnhardt recovered, and claimed several places on the final lap while avoiding another pile-up. He finished 10th and has now gone 71 races since his last win, which was in Richmond two years ago.

"Do not despair, Earnhardt Nation," says Earnhardt. "I've got a win coming soon. Until then, you can drown your sorrows in my new Charlotte bar, Whisky River. There, you can enjoy a NASCAR-themed atmosphere while sipping some of our house specialty drinks, like 'The Wicked Stepmother,' ice cold water on the rocks. Or enjoy a Bloody Mary mixed with Amp energy drink, a concoction we call the 'V'Amp.' And, to honor the team for which I formerly drove, we offer a giant 96-ounce vat of Budweiser, known on the drink menu as the 'DEI-Fo-Fum.' Careful, don't drink to much and get out of hand, lest you face the wrath of my team of bouncers, who dress like a pit crew and have full authority to jack you up."

"We'll also have two mechanical bulls. One is for riding, and the other is a Teresa Earnhardt robot speaking her mind. Hence, 'mechanical bull.'"

6. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson was running second behind Michael Waltrip when Johnson slipped outside for the lead. Unfortunately for Johnson, Kyle Busch went underneath Johnson, leaving Johnson out of the draft. The No. 48 Lowe's Chevrolet fell back in the pack, and later was collected in the final-lap crash. Johnson still finished 13th, and fell one place to fifth in the points.

"Waltrip's had success at Talladega," says Johnson. "I figured he could carry me to victory, or, at the very least, lease me a coffee table that I could finance for six years. With Michael Waltrip as their spokesman, Aaron's has a 'fool injected' advertising campaign."

7. Tony Stewart — As talk of Stewart's future with Joe Gibbs Racing swirled throughout the weekend, Stewart's driving did the talking on Saturday and Sunday. He dominated the Aaron's 312 on Saturday, leading 81 of 117 laps in the victory. He was nearly as dominate in the Aaron's 499, leading 61 laps before cutting a tire on lap 144 and slamming the wall, continuing his string of bad luck at Talladega in Cup races. He eventually finished 38th, 15 laps down, and dropped two slots in the points to ninth.

"It was great to win on Saturday," says Stewart, "but until I win a Cup race at Talladega and experience the requisite glory, there will always be a void in me. I guess you could call it a 'glory hole.' Usually, that's a good thing, but not in this case."

"As for my employment situation, I'm exploring my options, which is exactly what I do anytime I enter my walk-in refrigerator at home. It's not that I'm unhappy at Joe Gibbs Racing, but it's tough on a large ego when you go from the No. 1 driver to No. 3 in just a matter of months."

8. Clint Bowyer — Unlike Richard Childress teammates Jeff Burton and Kevin Harvick, Bowyer avoided the "Big One" at Talladega, a last lap pile-up that involved eleven cars, and finished ninth for his sixth top-10 of the year. However, Bowyer couldn't avoid the 'Little One' at Charlotte, wrecking a Petty Driving School car as he returned to the pits after a burnout demonstration at Lowe's Motor Speedway.

"Okay, so I blew the dismount," says Bowyer. "Sure, it's embarrassing, but not as embarrassing as the risque photos of 15-year-old Miley Cyrus in Vanity Fair. Even more embarrassing? Me wanting to see them."

"Of course, that's nowhere near as embarrassing as Roger Clemens allegedly having an affair with country singer Mindy McCready when she was 15 and he was 28, married, and with two kids. Not a wise decision, but can you fault a man for wanting to learn a changeup? I guess Roger's been telling the truth all along. Hormones aren't responsible for his human growth; a 15-year-old is."

9. Kevin Harvick — Harvick was an unwilling participant in the last lap melee that left much of the field in various stages of disrepair. The No. 29 Shell/Pennzoil Chevy suffered damage, but Harvick was able to drive it to the finish line, recording a 24th-place result, which dumped him one spot in the points to sixth.

"At Talladega, it's all about being reactive," says Harvick. "If you have the reaction time of an eight-gigabyte hard drive, then you're in good shape. If not, then you're at the mercy of the car spinning uncontrollably in front of you."

"As for drug policy, we at Kevin Harvick, Incorporated believe in being pro-active. We've instituted a new random testing policy, and the whole company will eventually be tested, not just drivers on heroin. It's a take-no-prisoners approach to drug testing, with all precautions taken to ensure that no one cheats the system. We'll even have a bathroom attendant with a catch-can to make sure that all urine samples are complete. However, we won't turn our backs on employees who fail. They will have options. We'll get them drug counseling, rehabilitation, or an interview with Randy Moss' new Craftsman truck venture, CCR, 'Cornrows & Collards Racing.'"

10. Juan Pablo Montoya — Colombia native Montoya tied his career best Cup finish with a JPM-pressive second in the Aaron's 499, a result that sent scores of his riotous countrymen into the streets of Bogota. Well, maybe that was just political unrest, or the release of Grand Theft Auto IV. In any case, Montoya's runner-up finish boosted him five places to 12th in the points.

"I thought we had a chance to win," says Montoya, looking quite dapper in his Juicy Fruit smoking jacket, sitting comfortably in his Juicy Fruit recliner, in the luxurious Juicy Fruit hauler. "But there's no shame in the Juicy Fruit car coming in behind the M&M's car of Kyle Busch. Vending machines throughout the country are rejoicing. Had Kyle been a teammate and not just a fellow candy boy, I might have just taken him out for the win."

"Call it an amazing coincidence or a huge corporate conspiracy, but isn't it strange that the M&M's car and the Juicy Fruit car finish one-two just days before Mars, Inc. announces it is buying Wrigley? I may say I'm no corporate puppet; apparently, I am."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:03 AM | Comments (0)