Anna from Bullock, TX writes, "The Roger Clemens/Brian McNamee saga gets juicier by the minute. Can it get any better?"
Needles, vials, and bloody gauze? Jose Canseco's house? Roger Clemen's wife? Shouldn't shady Hollywood scumbag Tom Sizemore be in this picture, with Amy Winehouse providing the soundtrack? If this fiasco continues in this manner, I'll have to put a parental block on Major League Baseball in my home, and I don't even have kids. With a teaser like used drug paraphernalia, Canseco, and Debbie Clemens, this story has to get better to reach the expectations I have for scandalous baseball trials. At this rate of increasing sleaze, this trial will have to be televised on early morning Cinemax.
We don't simply expect this story to get better; we demand it. In our tabloid-driven society, the Clemens/McNamee circus fits like a glove when compared against the exploits of train wrecks like Britney Spears and O.J. Simpson. We watch in wonder as the lives of our entertainment and sports heroes spiral downward, fueled by greed, pride, arrogance, illicit drugs, bad decisions, and manipulative lawyers and advisers. Weened on the trite and commonplace baseball scandals of old, like the Black Sox throwing the World Series, or Pete Rose betting on baseball, or Billy Martin and Reggie Jackson arguing on the dugout steps, our appetites for lecherous fodder have reached epic proportions. And the test of wills between a seven-time Cy Young Award winner and his former personal trainer promises to satisfy our urges.
McNamee claims he injected Clemens at least 16 times with steroids and human growth hormone in 1998, 2000, and 2001, years when syringes were spitting more juice than the mouths of the hundreds of tobacco-chewing ball players. Ironically, Clemens is once again telling McNamee where he can stick it. How McNamee could remember the exact number of injections seemed uncanny, until he revealed that he has evidence in the form of used needles and bloody gauze from some of those very injections, he claims. Either he's a meticulous record-keeper, or he's taken baseball souvenirs to another level.
Of course, Clemens and his counsel, Rusty Hardin, doubt the authenticity of the evidence, claiming that McNamee could have just grabbed a random needle and some gauze and just said it held Clemens DNA (chances are, though, a random needle probably would have Clemens' DNA on it). Besides, Clemens and Hardin suggest, what kind of sick person would hold on to used drug paraphernalia when you can take it to the local health department and get brand new replacements?
McNamee's claims are damning, if true. But there's more. There's his contention that he injected Clemens' wife, Debbie, with HGH, under Roger's supervision, as part of her regimen to tone up for a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. And McNamee says he remembers seeing Clemens at a party in Miami hosted by none other than novelist and the man who knows everyone who's used steroids, bad boy Jose Canseco. I know what you're thinking, and I hate to burst your bubble, but Debbie Clemens was not at Canseco's Tupperware party, and Canseco did not do blow off her hind end, although I seem to recall a similar scene in The Surreal Life, season five.
It's plausible McNamee could have been mistaken about Roger Clemens' presence at Canseco's party, which was attended by several players and announcers, but it's not plausible that he would have been "mistaken" about the one time he injected Debbie Clemens. I mean, most guys remember their first threesome in vivid, glorious detail. I bet he's got souvenirs from that magical moment, but those we'll never see. Roger Clemens definitely does not want his wife involved in this situation because, as the wife of an accused steroid user, she's been asked questions involving the "little prick" a painful and inordinate amount of times.
And the fact that Canseco is once again involved in a steroid case is amazing. Amazing for the reason that his words, in this case, actually support the cause of the person accused of using steroids. Normally, it's the other way around. Usually, Canseco claims a player used steroids, and that player's legal team immediately goes on the attack to discredit Canseco. In the Clemens' case, Canseco says he doesn't remember Clemens being at his party in 1998. So, some of the plausibility of the Clemens' case rests on the word of Jose Canseco? That's a sign that your case is in trouble. Who are Clemens' next character witnesses? Hanz and Franz?
But let's give Canseco some credit. His book Juiced was criticized as a book fraught with inaccuracies and embellished accusations. Now it looks as though Canseco was right about everything in his book, and he's being lauded as a highly credible witness. So the Clemens' camp must be thinking "Clemens' account + Canseco testimony = vindication." That's crazy math. A more proven equation involving Canseco is "warning track power + Canseco's head = home run." But that's useless in court or in front of Congress.
And what's with Clemens going to Washington, D.C. and hobnobbing with members of the House oversight committee, the very people who tore him a new one on Wednesday? If you watched or listened to the spectacle, you can tell it's obvious the Congressmen and Congresswomen are taking sides. I guess an autographed baseball will make a sick kid's day, as well as earn you preferential treatment on Capitol Hill. But as Clemens and McNamee were grilled Wednesday, it became clear that this is just the beginning of what will be a long, arduous, and interesting journey.
Clemens seemed to be making up answers as he went along, using awkward terminology, such as "knowingly knowing," "misremember," and "honestly." While purporting his respect and admiration for Andy Pettitte and Chuck Knoblach, whose testimony supports that of McNamee, Clemens basically called them liars. McNamee didn't fare much better. His words seemed genuine most of the time, but I got the feeling most members of the committee believed him most when he admitted about lying previously.
Then, the National Enquirer and other periodicals got the scoop they've been waiting for, when the subject turned to Clemens' butt, then to his nanny. That's tabloid gold, the old "butt and nanny" storyline, as well as an upcoming episode of Nip/Tuck. And it gives former president Bill Clinton a fond, reminiscent feeling. The Clemens/McNamee saga has something for everyone, from the sports fan down to the soap opera-addicted housewife. If it hasn't already captured the attention of all of America, it soon will. And we'll all follow it like the paparazzi tailing Britney Spears. Let's not act surprised when the photographs of Clemens sans underwear take this situation to the scurrilous stratosphere.
Richard from Pontiac, MI asks, "Who will win the Daytona 500?"
I like the No. 88 car of Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Hendrick Motorsports cars traditionally run well at Daytona, and with new teammate Jimmie Johnson on the pole, and former teammate Michael Waltrip beside Johnson, Earnhardt will have fast cars with which to work the draft, as well as cushion him from any Tony Stewart/Kurt Busch brush-ups.
Last year, Earnhardt was often plagued by mechanical issues, and he failed to win a single race. This year, with Hendrick power and reliability under the hood, don't be surprised if Junior wins multiple times. In fact, I wouldn't be shocked if the Hendrick stable of Johnson, Jeff Gordon, Earnhardt, and Casey Mears finish 1,2,3, 28th in the Sprint Cup point standings.
Finally free from the wicked spell of Dale Earnhardt, Incorporated queen mother Teresa Earnhardt, Junior's thoughts will solely be on driving, and not on contracts, company shares, and legacies. And, the last Dale not named Earnhardt to win at Daytona, Dale Jarrett, also drove the No. 88 car.
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