Super Simulation Sunday

When I first met my best friend Matt on college move-in day in August of 2002, he tried to persuade me to hang out with him by saying he had an Xbox and the newly released game Halo. I basically ignored him and thought he was a loser, until he mentioned that he also had an original Nintendo Entertainment System, a rare, top-loading original Nintendo even. The first words out of my mouth were, "What games do you have?" and the first words out of his mouth were, "Tecmo Super Bowl." Immediately, a life-long friendship was born.

Now most football junkies my age will understand my unbridled enthusiasm at these words, but for those of you who do not, I will simply say that Tecmo Super Bowl for original NES is most entertaining football video game ever. By today's standards, of course its graphics are poor, its playbook is too basic, and the fact that there are no penalties is of course ridiculous, but since I was 8-years old, I have studied this game and learned its ins and outs like a podiatrist studies the foot.

A ritual that we started beginning with Super Bowl XXXVII was simulating the Super Bowl, I'll show you some previous results as compared to what actually happened.

Super Bowl XXXVII

Simulated Score: Buccaneers 38, Raiders 28
Actual Score: Buccaneers 48, Raiders 21

The Raiders' running game is almost unstoppable with Bo Jackson and Marcus Allen. And the Buccaneers are worthless, so the Bucs winning was a surprise to me both in the simulation and in real life.

Super Bowl XXXVIII

Simulated Score: Patriots 31, Seahawks 21 (we had to use the Seahawks because the Panthers didn't exist in 1990)
Actual Score: Patriots 32, Panthers 29

Okay, so the second year wasn't a great situation, but at least the Patriots won, even if they didn't play the right team.

Super Bowl XXXIX

Simulated Score: Patriots 28, Eagles 24
Actual Score: Patriots 24, Eagles 21

This was truly a shocker to us. For those of you who are unaware, the Patriots' quarterback in Tecmo Super Bowl is Steve Grogan, who may be the worst quarterback in the game. The Eagles, on the other hand, are quite good with the Anonymous QB 12 at the helm.

Super Bowl XL

Simulated Score: Steelers 17, Seahawks 7
Actual Score: Steelers 21, Seahawks 10

Nothing too unexpected here, both the Steelers and Seahawks are pretty worthless, so a Steelers win and a low-scoring game seem logical.

Super Bowl XLI

Simulated Score: Colts 35, Bears 20
Actual Score: Colts 29, Bears 17

This was somewhat surprising. Neither team is great, but the Bears do have a dominant running game.

Super Bowl XLII

Simulated Score: Patriots 20, Giants 14
Actual Score: Patriots ??, Giants ??

Well, something was at work in this game, seeing as how the Giants were the Super Bowl champions of the 1990 season and the Patriots were a stellar 1-15. It was truly the best versus the worst and the worst came out on top. If that doesn't show the hand of fate on the outcome of the next Super Bowl, I don't know what does.

Here are a few notes about the simulated game that you can count on for Super Bowl Sunday:

(Note: All players' names are simply inferred from the 1990 roster to the 2007 roster.)

• Eli Manning will throw 3 interceptions (one on his very first pass attempt).
• Tom Brady will have a mediocre game with 1 touchdown pass and 1 interception. He will also be sacked 5 times by a tenacious Giants blitz. (Thank you, Lawrence Taylor.)
• Randy Moss will win the MVP trophy with an impressive 178 yards receiving and a touchdown.
• The Patriots will attempt an onside kick just before the end of the first half, but be unsuccessful.
• Eli Manning will have a chance to lead a game-winning drive with one minute to go, but will fail miserably.

Perhaps you will put more stock in the PS3 or Xbox 360 simulations, but we have been right for the past five years (well, at least four of five years thanks to the Panthers dilemma). I'm assuming that most other simulations will show the Patriots as champions, as well, so maybe you can simply believe all of them.