The All-NBA On-Paper Team

During halftime of the TNT national game this week, Sir Charles and Kenny Smith were debating back and forth about who they thought were the four best teams in the Western Conference. For the most part, I actually agreed with the list that they came up with, even though it included Phoenix. Then I realized that it is the regular season, so they are in fact currently an elite team. At least until May. I can accept that.

After they came to a consensus (San Antonio, Dallas, Utah, Phoenix) one of them asked a legitimate question: how can Houston, with two perennial All-NBA players in Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady not even be a top four team in their conference? Every night, they run out two of top 10 players in the league, yet they have the same record as Portland.

I had never really looked at the Rockets that way. All I saw was a team that focused on slowing the game to a snail's pace while the rest of the league hit the accelerator. I saw a team with two superstars who couldn't complement each other any less. McGrady needs space to operate, Yao takes up too much of it. Yao likes to hit cutters from the post, McGrady does his best work with the ball, not without.

Still, on paper, they shouldn't lose. They have a dominant inside player, a dominant perimeter player, and a decent collection of role players. The Lakers used that formula to win three straight titles and infighting left another two or three on the table. These Rockets haven't advanced past the first round of the playoffs.

If intangibles and chemistry had nothing to do with winning, this team could have been a dynasty instead of a dud.

After looking at the roster from afar and deciding that, on paper, the Rockets are as good as it gets, I started thinking about who else looks great on paper, but I wouldn't want on my team. Then this happened. With further ado, I present to you the first (and most likely only) 2007-08 Al-NBA On-Paper Team.

Point Guard: Baron Davis, Golden State Warriors

Davis can score (22.8 points per game), pass (8.3 assists per game), and make plays defensively (2.5 steals per game). Who wouldn't want those numbers from the point guard position? Yet if you had to make a list, Davis wouldn't stand a chance to make the top five point guards in the league right now. If you count Gilbert Arenas and Allen Iverson as point guards, he falls somewhere near eighth, at best, by my calculations.

Davis' poor shot selection from a position the requires good decision-making at all times would make me very reluctant to hand the reins of a playoff team over to him. Combine that with the fact the he's pretty much a cancer in the locker room and has only played 60 games twice in the past six seasons and he is the perfect candidate for the on-paper team.

Shooting Guard: Vince Carter, New Jersey Nets

Half-man/Half-a-season embodies everything I do not want in a franchise player. Yet statistically, what's not to love? For his career, Carter averages over 24 points, 5 rebounds, and 4 assists per game. He's an 80% free throw shooter and shoots decent from three-point range.

It's his work ethic, durability, and ability to make players around him better that makes Carter a perfect two-guard on the on-paper team. He has never played in the conference finals, and never played on a 50-win team. After he forced his way out of Toronto, I thought that he might flourish next to Jason Kidd in New Jersey because he wouldn't have to be the man on that team, he could just go out and play. Instead, the Nets have regressed tremendously since acquiring him. His new contract makes him virtually untradeable, so Nets fans will just have to live with above-average numbers on an average team.

Small Forward: Tracy McGrady, Houston Rockets

Seven-time all-star. Two first-team All-NBA, three second-team All-NBA, and two third-team All-NBA selections. Twice the NBA's scoring champ. His numbers speak for themselves.

However, the only time killer instinct and Tracy McGrady have been mentioned in the same sentence is when his dog is involved. McGrady has been to the playoffs six times and has failed to advance out of the first round every time — although he did mention that it feels nice to make it to the second round in 2003. Maybe his demeanor is too laid back to be a superstar in this league, or maybe his expressionless face gives the impression that he's too laid back and he really is gritting it out. I don't know what the problem is. Frankly, I don't care. We shouldn't need to find excuses why someone with this much talent can't win a single playoff series. The list could be 1,000 reasons long. I don't have the energy to explore that list, so I'm sticking him on the on-paper team.

Power Forward: Jermaine O'Neal, Indiana Pacers

Like everyone on this list, O'Neal has put up some very impressive stats in the last decade. He's played on six consecutive all-star teams. He's led the league in blocks, been in the top 10 in rebounding twice, and is a legitimate low-post scorer. He even has a mid-range game to go with it.

Like everyone else on this list, however, he also comes with a lot of baggage. I don't care how many play-by-play guys tell me Jermaine O'Neal is a great guy, or how many photo ops he gets, he still seems like a bully to me. I won't even count the time he punched Turtle during the brawl at the Palace because at least he didn't run into the stands to do it. But in the last few seasons, I've seen O'Neal get into more shoving matches under the basket than any player since Bill Laimbeer. He wears his heart on his sleeve, but apparently only when he's disrespected. Until someone ruffles his feathers, he seems to go about every game with a certain level of indifference.

I'll take nearly 20 points and 10 rebounds per game from him, but I wouldn't be able to stand having to feel him out for the first quarter to see if he decided to bring it tonight or not. Because of that, I have no choice but to put him on the on-paper team.

Center: Ben Wallace, Chicago Bulls

I know Ben Wallace is good at what he is supposed to do; rebound and play defense. Believe me, I live in Detroit, I've seen Big Ben play hundreds of times, most of the time with great success. While he was here, he won four NBA Defensive Player of the Year awards and was on five straight NBA All-Defense first teams. He was a crowd favorite and the captain of the 2004 world champion Detroit Pistons.

Yet no player has frustrated me more as a fan than Wallace did in his six seasons with the Pistons. While he was here, I was in the vast minority of people that thought the he was wildly overrated. Once you get past the high energy and big hair, Wallace seems to do just as much harm to his team as good. He is a liability to his team on offense, so much so that if he is on your team you have to choose between playing four-on-five on offense and having your best defensive player on the floor or sitting your franchise player during crunch time and angering your fans. He butted heads with every coach he played for in Detroit, and is one for one so far in Chicago.

Every team would love to have a player who twice has led the league in rebounding and blocks in the same season, but on my team I don't want a guy with a bad attitude who only plays on one side of the floor.

He's more suited for something like this: the 2007-08 NBA All-NBA On-Paper Team.

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