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December 31, 2007

Sports Central's 2007 NFL All-Pro Team

This is the sixth time I have selected an all-pro team for Sports Central, and for the third consecutive season, I'm devoting an entire column to the subject. I put a lot of thought into these selections, not to mention a lot of Sunday afternoons staring at linemen and weekday evenings looking at standings and stats. This column exists to explain the reasons I chose certain players, or didn't take others, and to give recognition to those who just missed my list. If all you care about is who made the team, you'll find a condensed list at the bottom, along with my playoff predictions.

For those of you who are new to the column, I choose more than 11 players on both offense and defense. Most teams regularly employ a third wide receiver and a second tight end, so my team has three wideouts and two tight ends. I also have a nickel back and two inside linebackers, since about a quarter of the league uses one DT and two ILBs. I'll list each position in the order I picked the players, so you'll know which receiver is my third, which tight end is my second, and so on.

Quarterback: Tom Brady (NE)
Last Year: Peyton Manning (IND)

In most years, this would be a nasty four-way battle between Brett Favre (GB), David Garrard (JAC), Manning (IND), and Tony Romo (DAL). This year, it's an easy call. Brady.

Running Back: Brian Westbrook (PHI)
Last Year: LaDainian Tomlinson (SD)

There were two serious candidates: Tomlinson (SD) and Westbrook. Adrian Peterson (MIN) blew us all away with his big games, but he disappeared at the end of the season, and he doesn't yet have the same veteran savvy and intangibles as L.T. and Westbrook. Tomlinson got off to a slow start, then made a late run at defending his claim as the best RB in the league, but he went through prolonged slumps and there were times when he really got shut down.

I didn't see those inconsistencies from Westbrook. When he had a bad rushing game, he made up for it as a receiver (Week 8). If he didn't do much in the passing game, he ran wild (Week 11). And often, he did both (Weeks 2, 3, 10, and 13). Westbrook carried Philadelphia's offense — at times almost single-handedly — in a down-year for Donovan McNabb and in the absence of any credible threats among Philadelphia's other receivers. He is a great runner, a good pass blocker, and by far the best receiving RB in the game today. No one else presents the same kind of threat to NFL defenses.

Fullback: Greg Jones (JAC)
Last Year: Lorenzo Neal (SD)

My Pro Bowl choices were Mike Sellers (WAS) and Jones (JAC). The guys who are going to Hawaii are Tony Richardson (MIN) and Neal (SD). None of those players are bad choices, but what separated Jones in my mind was his effective lead-blocking for two extremely productive backs, Maurice Jones-Drew and Fred Taylor. Those two collectively averaged better than five yards per carry, and Greg Jones deserves a lot of the credit for that.

Wide Receiver: Reggie Wayne (IND), Randy Moss (NE), Terrell Owens (DAL)
Last Year: Roy Williams (DET), Reggie Wayne (IND), Marvin Harrison (IND)

This is usually the hardest position to narrow down. This season, the only difficult choice was Owens over Wes Welker (NE). Owens has better numbers (81 catches, 1355 yards, 15 TD) than Welker (112 catches, 1175 yards, 8 TD), but Welker led all wide receivers in yards after catch, and he always seemed to show up when the Patriots needed a big play to keep a drive going. Ultimately, though, I couldn't argue with Owens' production and the way he opened things up for the Dallas offense.

Moss did the same thing for New England, and his historic haul of touchdown catches this season re-established him as a singular talent and as the most dangerous receiver in the game. Moss, however, had bad games, times when he seemed to become invisible. No receiver had a better season in 2007 than Reggie Wayne. Marvin Harrison got hurt. Dallas Clark got hurt. Half the offensive line got hurt. Manning to Wayne remained a constant, and every week you could see him on the highlights bringing in a big catch.

Tight End: Kellen Winslow, Jr. (CLE), Antonio Gates (SD)
Last Year: Antonio Gates (SD), Tony Gonzalez (KC)

This was a painful decision, because I think there are six different players for whom you could make a decent argument. Dallas Clark (IND) started the season better than anyone and led all tight ends in touchdowns. Chris Cooley (WAS) may mean more to his team than any other tight end in the league. Gonzalez (KC) had arguably the best season of his career. Jason Witten (DAL) finished second only to Gonzalez in receptions and yards.

Clark and Winslow are the weakest blockers in the group, more like wide receivers than tight ends. But Winslow was so productive and such an important part of Cleveland's offense that I simply couldn't leave him off. Every time I saw the Browns play, Winslow impressed me. Gates is just a unique talent, and his numbers aren't as high as they could be if San Diego had anyone else to catch the ball, because defenses can pretty much concentrate on Gates and Tomlinson. That he was still so productive is a testament to his skill.

Center: Jeff Saturday (IND)
Last Year: Nick Hardwick (SD)

Center is normally a tough position to choose. This year there were only two real contenders, Dan Koppen (NE) and Saturday, who gets the edge for his masterful coordination of the Indianapolis line, even in the face of this year's continuous injuries and rotating lineup.

Guard: Logan Mankins (NE), Ryan Lilja (IND)
Last Year: Shawn Andrews (PHI), Brian Waters (KC)

Mankins seemed to slow down towards the end of the season, but he was still the best. The other spot was tougher. Andrews was in the mix again, but injuries and inconsistency ultimately eliminated him from consideration. Kris Dielman (SD) and Mike Goff (SD) played very well toward the end of the season, but seemed to have some problems earlier in the year. That left me with Eric Steinbach (CLE) and Lilja. In the end, Steinbach and the Chargers barely lost out to Lilja, who consistently played well on a line that kept shifting because of injuries.

Offensive Tackle: Matt Light (NE), Chad Clifton (GB)
Last Year: Jammal Brown (NO), Marcus McNeill (SD)

Light, like his teammate Mankins, seemed to let up toward the end of the season, and in Light's case, it was nearly enough to lose the top spot. He was not impressive against Osi Umenyiora in the Week 17 win over the Giants — or for that matter, any other time after Thanksgiving — but no one else blew me away. Clifton was very solid when I saw him this year, earning the second position, but it should be noted that Chris Samuels (WAS) had by far the best season of his career, giving Light and Clifton a run for their money.

If you're a purist who is upset that I chose two left guards and two left tackles, go with Goff over Chris Snee (NYG) at right guard, and take Marc Colombo (DAL) over Mark Tauscher (GB) as a right tackle. Having said that, Lilja played better this year than any right guard, and Clifton was better than any right tackle. They're my all-pros.

Defensive End: Jared Allen (KC), Mario Williams (HOU)
Last Year: Jason Taylor (MIA), Aaron Kampman (GB)

Allen was the best. He had seven multi-sack games, tons of solo tackles, and an impressive collection of pass deflections. The other DE position was a toss-up between Williams, Kampman (GB), Kyle Vanden Bosch (TEN), Osi Umenyiora (NYG), and Elvis Dumervil (DEN), an up-and-comer who's still a year or two away. Sleeper for '08: Justin Tuck (NYG) looked great at the end of this season.

The much-maligned Williams probably had a better second half of the season than any other player in the league, on offense or defense. After the bye, he just exploded. I prefer more consistency, but I'm not going to overlook Williams after the way he played down the stretch. We've all learned to withhold judgement on the relative merits of Williams, Reggie Bush, and Vince Young, so I'm not going to definitively say that Williams was the right choice with the first pick in last year's draft, but he has become a monster.

Defensive Tackle: Albert Haynesworth (TEN), Pat Williams (MIN)
Last Year: Tommie Harris (CHI), Kelly Gregg (BAL)

Haynesworth had some injury issues, but was dominant when he was on the field. The other spot was a toss-up. Vince Wilfork (NE) was the best 3-4 nose tackle this year, and Haloti Ngata (BAL) had the best game I saw from any defensive tackle in 2007, against New England in Week 13. Williams was the best pure run-stopper and Darnell Dockett (ARI) was the best interior pass rusher, but in the end it was between Wilfork and Williams. My tie-breaker? Pat Williams didn't poke anybody in the eye.

Outside Linebacker: DeMarcus Ware (DAL), Julian Peterson (SEA)
Last Year: Shawne Merriman (SD), Lance Briggs (CHI)

Ware is an easy choice. He has been tremendous this season, and not in the same sense as Pat Williams, who is listed at 317 pounds and probably weighs twice that. I agonized over whom to pair with him. Normally I select one pass-rush specialist — usually a 3-4 guy like Merriman or Ware — and one space player, a guy who will have a bunch of tackles and drops into coverage on most pass plays. The best of that group were Briggs (CHI), Keith Bulluck (TEN), Karlos Dansby (ARI), A.J. Hawk (GB), and Thomas Howard (OAK). But this season also featured exceptional seasons from outside 'backers whose primary job is rushing the quarterback. I'm thinking of Ware, of course, plus James Harrison (PIT), Peterson, and Mike Vrabel (NE).

What sold me on Peterson ahead of all the others? More than anything else, it was his Week 16 game against Baltimore. Peterson didn't put up huge numbers — 5 solo tackles, ½ sack, a fumble recovery — but he was all over the field, and he made several big stops. Peterson was the total package this season: he had 63 solo tackles, 9.5 sacks, and 2 interceptions. That's more than just a pass-rush specialist.

Inside Linebacker: London Fletcher (WAS), Brian Urlacher (CHI)
Last Year: Zach Thomas (MIA), Brian Urlacher (CHI)

This was all about the NFC Seven: Nick Barnett (GB), London Fletcher (WAS), Antonio Pierce (NYG), Barrett Ruud (TB), Lofa Tatupu (SEA), Brian Urlacher (CHI), and Patrick Willis (SF). The first two I dropped were the alphabetical bookends, Barnett and Willis. San Francisco's star rookie showed a lot of potential this season, but his main job was cleaning up tackles. He just doesn't have the nuanced grasp of NFL offenses that his veteran competition does, and it showed in areas like pass defense. Barnett doesn't have a specific weakness like that, but he just doesn't seem quite as dominant as the rest of the group. Ruud was supposed to be my sleeper, and I was really excited about this one, but he faded a bit down the stretch, and like Willis, I think he's still a year or two away. Pierce is another guy who limped through the homestretch. That left Fletcher, Tatupu, and Urlacher.

Brian Urlacher had the best game I saw from any ILB this season, against the Giants in Week 13. The next week, against Washington, he was invisible. That two-week span seemed to epitomize his season: flashes of greatness, but ultimately inconsistent. Then, in the last month of the season, he exploded, finally edging past Tatupu in Week 17. Fletcher provided the consistently high level of play I was looking for at the other spot.

Cornerback: Asante Samuel (NE), Marcus Trufant (SEA), Shawn Springs (WAS)
Last Year: Champ Bailey (DEN), Rashean Mathis (JAC), Chris McAlister (BAL)

Samuel was a lock. The other spot was a battle between the shut-downs and the ball-hawks. Shut-downs are the so-called "cover corners" — guys who just control their side of the field, and never get thrown at. The best this year were Lito Sheppard (PHI) and Springs. Ball-hawks get tested plenty, but they almost always win. The cream of the crop this season were Ronde Barber (TB), Antonio Cromartie (SD), and Trufant. The two groups are hard to compare. Shut-down corners don't usually have much in the way of stats, unless they make a ton of tackles against the run or have a couple big games against slow-on-the-uptake QBs. Ball-hawks have big numbers: tackles, deflections, interceptions, all of it.

Barber was the first one off my list. He had some really nice games, and he was the key player for Tampa's phenomenal pass defense, but is starting to show his age. Cromartie had a terrific season, and made big plays every time I saw him, but I had some misgivings about selecting a player who only started half of his team's games. If it took Cromartie until November to convince his own coaches that he was the best cornerback on the team, I'm not comfortable saying that he was one of the top three CBs in the entire league.

That left three players for the last two spots. Sheppard, when I saw him this season, was probably the second-best cornerback in the league, but he missed about a third of the season (5½ games), and that's too much. Springs wasn't even on my radar a month ago. A good player, sure, but not having an all-pro season. He saved his four best performances of the season for the last four weeks, when Washington was going 4-0 en route to securing a playoff appearance. All things being equal, I love to see consistency, but I'm not going to complain about incredible clutch performance, either. Springs is my nickel back.

Free Safety: Ed Reed (BAL)
Last Year: Brian Dawkins (PHI)

I wish that Dawkins had been healthy all season, because he's still the best. Philadelphia's defense was totally different when Dawkins was in the lineup. He's just a colossal playmaker, and probably would have been in the running for my Defensive Player of the Year. Since Dawkins missed half the season, though, Reed is the choice.

Strong Safety: Bob Sanders (IND)
Last Year: Adrian Wilson (ARI)

If only they were all this easy.

Kicker: Rob Bironas (TEN)
Last Year: Matt Stover (BAL)

This is a tricky position to pick, because statistics tell a lot of the story — almost all of it, in fact. Unfortunately, there are lots of factors that color those statistics, including bad snaps, poor holds, and mostly importantly, inclement weather. I looked at more kickers than usual this year:

* Rob Bironas (TEN), the front-runner, led the NFL in field goals and set a new record with eight in one game.

* Kris Brown (HOU) went 5-for-5 from over 50 yards and had the longest field goal of the season (57).

* Phil Dawson (CLE) missed only two FGs this season (though he had another two blocked). The kicks he missed were from 52 yards, on a cold day in Pittsburgh, and against Baltimore, in a game when he made four field goals, including a game-tying 51-yarder at the end of regulation and the game-winner in overtime.

* Nick Folk (DAL), the NFC's Pro Bowler, missed only one kick under 50 yards all season (he had another blocked).

* Robbie Gould (CHI) missed only one kick under 50 yards (plus two blocked) and plays in cold, windy Chicago.

* Shayne Graham (CIN) had the best field goal percentage of anyone with at least 30 attempts.

Do you see why it was hard to cut any of those guys? I chose Bironas because he made the most kicks and was effective at all distances.

Punter: Mike Scifres (SD)
Last Year: Brian Moorman (BUF)

As I mentioned in my Pro Bowl column, I put a ridiculous amount of energy into selecting a punter. It may be the least important position on the list, but it's important to me that I make good selections across the board. Anyway, I had six finalists: Michael Koenen (ATL), Andy Lee (SF), Moorman (BUF), Scifres, Daniel Sepulveda (PIT), and Matt Turk (HOU). The league leader in net average, Shane Lechler (OAK), didn't make the cut. Why not? Because he just bombed his kicks without direction, and way too many of them got returned. Lechler only got three punts out of bounds all season. He forced very few fair catches. He had two punts taken back for TDs (tied for worst in the NFL), and the only player who allowed more return yards had 17 more punts than Lechler.

Of my six finalists, I eventually narrowed the list to three: Koenen, Lee, and Scifres. What I don't like about these finalists is that they all play in places where punting comes pretty easy. The Falcons play in a dome, San Diego has pretty nice weather all year, and even San Francisco is hardly Buffalo or Green Bay. What I did like: Koenen and Scifres hardly ever allowed returns, and Lee posted an incredible 41.0 net average, without as much baggage as Lechler. Koenen was the master of hang time; his 31 fair catches were almost twice as many as anyone else. But Scifres, along with Moorman, is the most strategic punter in the NFL. He forced 19 fair catches, which is great, but he also put nine balls out of bounds and had 15 punts downed by his return team.

This season, more than half of Scifres' punts ended with his gross yardage: that is, if he punted the ball 50 yards, the other team took over 50 yards away. That means no return, and no touchback. Scifres managed that more than 50% of the time; the only player with a better rate (Turk), had a much lower gross average (by about 4.5 yards) and many fewer punts. In a close call over Koenen, I'm going with Scifres.

Kick Returner: Devin Hester (CHI)
Last Year: Devin Hester (CHI)

Josh Cribbs (CLE) is one of many returners who had fine seasons in 2007, but Hester was in a league of his own. The one thing he needs to do better is hold on to the ball, but right now, saying that Hester fumbles too much is like complaining that Tom Brady isn't much of a scrambler.

Hester joins Reggie Wayne, Antonio Gates, and Brian Urlacher as the only players to repeat from my 2006 all-pro team.

Offensive Player of the Year: Tom Brady (NE)
Last Year: LaDainian Tomlinson (SD)

At midseason, I thought Randy Moss (NE) deserved this, but as I've already explained, I think Reggie Wayne (IND) was ultimately better. Brady had a historic season, and unlike Moss, established himself as the only serious contender at his position.

Defensive Player of the Year: DeMarcus Ware (DAL)
Last Year: Champ Bailey (DEN)

Ware was exceptional almost every time I saw Dallas play this season. Not just good — great. Jared Allen (KC), Albert Haynesworth (TEN), and Bob Sanders (IND) were the other contenders, and they all had terrific seasons, but no one else blew me away the same way Ware did.

Most Valuable Player: Brian Westbrook (PHI)
Last Year: LaDainian Tomlinson (SD)

I know I'm probably the only person not picking Tom Brady (NE). I'm not denying his obvious talent or the incredible year he's had. Brady is my all-pro QB and my OPOY, and I've named him league MVP in the past. But I think you could probably pull Brady out of New England's lineup and put a pretty good game-manager in there with Moss and Welker and that terrific offensive line, and the Pats would still go 14-2 or so. Replace him with Peyton Manning (IND) and I think they still go undefeated.

A similar argument, I think, applies to DeMarcus Ware, the league's best defensive player this season. The Cowboys were so good, they would have been successful even without him. In my mind, the best candidates for a true MVP award were Brady, Albert Haynesworth (TEN), Manning (the good one, not Eli), Bob Sanders (IND), and Westbrook. The Titans went 0-3 without Haynesworth. Manning held the Colts' offense together while injuries decimated the team. Sanders keyed the team's defensive revival.

But no one, I think, meant more to his team this season than Brian Westbrook. He was the one constant for an inconsistent offense. He was the one weapon on a squad with no one else who really threatened defenses. He was a playmaker in every phase of the offense. He led his team in rushing yards, receptions, punt return average, and touchdowns. He was a singular contributor.

Offensive Rookie of the Year: Adrian Peterson (MIN)
Last Year: Maurice Jones-Drew (JAC)

Two years ago, I talked myself into going with the popular choice, Cadillac Williams, over a player I preferred, offensive lineman Logan Mankins. Today, Williams is perpetually injured and Mankins is the probably the best offensive lineman in the NFL. Apparently, I don't learn from my mistakes. This time, I'm taking another sensational rookie running back, Peterson, over an offensive lineman I suspect might be better, Joe Thomas (CLE). I'm a total sell-out, and I'm sorry.

Defensive Rookie of the Year: Patrick Willis (SF)
Last Year: DeMeco Ryans (HOU)

Other rookie defenders played had good seasons. Jon Beason (CAR), like Willis, was effective as a middle linebacker. Gaines Adams (TB) and Amobi Okoye (HOU) showed promise as pass rushers. Lots of rookie DBs played well. Willis, though, is credited with 135 solo tackles, far more than anyone else, rookie or otherwise. In addition to Willis, I will be closely watching Okoye and Beason next year as potential all-pro material.

Coach of the Year: Bill Belichick (NE)
Last Year: Sean Payton (NO)

I don't like him either, but I'm not going to be the idiot who doesn't pick the only head coach to lead a team to a 16-0 regular season.

Assistant Coach of the Year: Josh McDaniels (NE)
Last Year: Rex Ryan (BAL)

I don't like pairing a Coach of the Year and Assistant from the same team, but McDaniels is the guy who handles New England's offense on gameday. In addition to McDaniels, I considered Jason Garrett (DAL) and Dante Scarnecchia (NE), the other top offensive coach for New England. If you want a defensive assistant, how about Monte Kiffin (TB), Dick LeBeau (PIT), or even Ron Meeks (IND)?

2007 All-Pro Team

QB Tom Brady, NE
RB Brian Westbrook, PHI
FB Greg Jones, JAC
WR Reggie Wayne, IND
WR Randy Moss, NE
WR Terrell Owens, DAL
TE Kellen Winslow Jr., CLE
TE Antonio Gates, SD
C Jeff Saturday, IND
G Logan Mankins, NE
G Ryan Lilja, IND
OT Matt Light, NE
OT Chad Clifton, GB

DT Albert Haynesworth, TEN
DT Pat Williams, MIN
DE Jared Allen, KC
DE Mario Williams, HOU
OLB DeMarcus Ware, DAL
OLB Julian Peterson, SEA
ILB London Fletcher, WAS
ILB Brian Urlacher, CHI
CB Asante Samuel, NE
CB Marcus Trufant, SEA
CB Shawn Springs, WAS
FS Ed Reed, BAL
SS Bob Sanders, IND

K Rob Bironas, TEN
P Mike Scifres, SD
KR Devin Hester, CHI

Off POY — Tom Brady, NE
Def POY — DeMarcus Ware, DAL
MVP — Brian Westbrook, PHI
Off Rookie — Adrian Peterson, MIN
Def Rookie — Patrick Willis, SF
Coach — Bill Belichick, NE
Assistant — Josh McDaniels, NE

Wild Card Playoff Predictions

SEATTLE def. Washington
Jacksonville def. PITTSBURGH
TAMPA BAY def. New York Giants
SAN DIEGO def. Tennessee

I wouldn't be surprised if the winner of the Seattle/Washington wild card game reaches the Super Bowl.

Super Bowl XLII: Indianapolis Colts over Green Bay Packers

I'm aware that this is probably not the wisest Super Bowl prediction, but I've never gotten both teams right in five years as an NFL columnist, and I'm not about to start now.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 2:30 PM | Comments (0)

Sports Central's 2007 Year in Review (Pt. 2)

Sports Central's 2007 Year in Review (Pt. 1)

2007 was a monumental year for Sports Central. We published over 500 original stories and had a record 3.4 million visits. As we head into 2008 and get ready to celebrate our 10th year online in August, let's pause and remember the most memorable stories we ran in 2007.

This is part two of a two-part series. If you're new to the site, you're sure to find some hidden gems in our archives, so enjoy and happy New Year!

July

Is Chris Benoit Really Sports News? — The mainstream sports media has cracked open its file on professional wrestling’s many tragedies, and SC's Greg Wyshynski tries to understand why they care and what they’re attempting to say about Chris Benoit’s place in that horrific history.

The Value of the No. 1 Pick — Greg Oden is now a Trail Blazer. But will the pick really shape the future of the franchise? Is Greg Oden the next Tim Duncan or Kwame Brown? A quick look back at the draft over the last 10 years reveals the first pick isn't always what it's cracked up to be.

Jordan vs. Beckham — Soccer superstar David Beckham has some people believing that he's bigger than Michael Jordan ever was in basketball. But in this latest edition of the Jester's Quart, SC's Greg Wyshynski respectfully begs to differ, and tells us why.

Debunking Tennis' Biggest Myths — Roger Federer, a failure on clay? Rafael Nadal can't play on any surface other than clay? Rod Laver was lucky to win his titles? It seems that if some fallacies are repeated often enough, casual tennis fans begin to view them as a fact, says SC's Mert Ertunga.

August

10 Tips For Striking Fantasy Football Gold — With the NFL's preseason schedule getting underway, SC's Matt Thomas visits the world of fantasy football, offering up his 10 secrets to creating a successful fantasy draft. These tips are not to be ignored if you are serious about winning your league.

The Pro Football Hall of Fame's Biggest Snubs — The Pro Football Hall of Fame held its annual induction ceremony on Saturday, adding six members to its storied fraternity. But many worthy players and coaches remain on the outside, looking in. SC's Brad Oremland breaks down the Hall's biggest snubs.

Hypocrisy, Culture, Murder, and Vick — It's not that what Mike Vick did was right. It's just that few of us, depending on how we kill animals for entertainment ourselves, are in a good position to condemn him. SC's Kevin Beane passes out some condemnations of his own in the Slant Pattern.

September

A Quest For Something Lost — Nearly half of NFL training camps have moved into year-round facilities, pushing the intimate campus setting to the brink of extinction. With the Giants and Jets soon to follow, SC's Bob Ekstrom takes a pilgrimage through NY and reflects on this passage of summer.

McNabb and the Racist Fans — SC's Greg Wyshynski weighs in on Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb's comments about the way black quarterbacks are treated and looks at fans who choose to use racial slurs to criticize them. Is this much ado about nothing?

Fantasy Sports Takes Another Victim — Millions of men and women play some fantasy sport. SC's Jeff DiNunzio was never one of them, until now. See how he got addicted to fantasy sports, and drafted a squad of NHL players that threatens every fantasy veteran in his league.

October

An American's Sports Odyssey Into Soccer — SC's Ross Lancaster has been a bona fide soccer nut for nearly five years. Read to see just how this happened, and what challenges following "The Beautiful Game" poses for someone who still loves the American sports traditions of football and basketball.

Farewell Baseball, From Yours Truly — Goliath got up with just a bruise, took his sword, killed David, and fed his flesh to the birds and wild animals. Sound familiar? No? Then you must not be a baseball fan. But this playoff season, SC's Alvin Chang is breaking off his relationship with baseball.

November

Tennis Match-Fixing? Don't Believe It — Betting has been the latest issue on the table for professional tennis. But did it really need to be the huge issue in the media? SC's Mert Ertunga explains why the match-fixing question is overrated and how the ATP let it become that way.

Can LeBron Average a Triple-Double? — When LeBron James was entering the NBA and analysts said he could average a triple-double, SC's Alvin Chang thought they were crazy. He thought it was just one of those things people said to emphasize how good a player really is. But LeBron just might do it.

December

Limiting the Sean Taylor Impact — In this week's Jester's Quart, SC's Greg Wyshynski believes there are three reasons why the impact of Sean Taylor's tragic death was diminished, and lays the blame on the Washington, DC media's constant Redskins saturation.

The Annual Tennis Holiday Wish List — As 2007 and another year of tennis comes to a close, SC's Tom Kosinski brings us his annual Christmas wish list as only he can. Professional tennis ended 2007 on a sour note, but maybe the holiday season can sweeten the game for 2008.

'Roid Rage: Fallout From Mitchell Report — From San Francisco to Santo Domingo, keyboards, bars, and water coolers are abuzz. Baseball's Mitchell Report has fans and sportwriters in an uproar, but the owners needn't worry about their cash cow. SC's Bijan C. Bayne explains why.

Clemens and Steroids: We Called It — The biggest name mentioned in the Mitchell Report was Roger Clemens. Last June, SC's Brad Oremland identified Clemens as a likely user of performance-enhancing substances, comparing his performances before and after he played for the Red Sox.

The NFL's Best Offense Ever — The 2007 New England Patriots are making history, at or near record-setting pace in key offensive categories at both the team and individual levels. But before we crown this year's Pats as the best offense in history, SC's Brad Oremland examines their competition.

Posted by Marc James at 1:07 PM | Comments (0)

December 29, 2007

Sports Central's 2007 Year in Review (Pt. 1)

2007 was a monumental year for Sports Central. We published over 500 original stories and had a record 3.4 million visits. As we head into 2008 and get ready to celebrate our 10th year online in August, let's pause and remember the most memorable stories we ran in 2007.

This is part one of a two-part series. If you're new to the site, you're sure to find some hidden gems in our archives, so enjoy and happy New Year!

January

The 2026-2027 NFL Season in Review — Sure, it's easy to recap an NFL season from just a few months ago. But try recapping one 20 years into the future. SC's Ryan Day predicts what the NFL will look like 20 years from now and tells us why the Oakland Raiders will never get any better.

The Booze, Banter, Betting Theory — How do you truly rate a sport's popularity with the fans? SC's Greg Wyshynski believes by measuring three important facets of the fan experience — Booze, Banter, and Betting — a sport's true virtues become evident. So what's soccer lacking?

The Top 10 Worst Super Bowl QBs — Peyton Manning is among the best QBs in history, and every fan wants to see what he'll do now that he's finally in the Super Bowl, but his counterpart, Rex Grossman, has been derided as possibly the worst QB in Super Bowl history. Here are 10 who might be worse.

February

Tiger vs. Federer — Roger Federer and Tiger Woods are clearly beyond any competition their respective sports have to offer. With that in mind, SC's Corrie Trouw broke down the wins and losses and found a worthy adversary for both: each other. So which superstar is more dominant?

Brett Favre vs. Peyton Manning — Brett Favre and Peyton Manning are both in the headlines — Favre for announcing that he will return to the NFL in 2007, and Manning for his Super Bowl win and MVP award. SC's Brad Oremland puts both their careers in perspective and evaluates whom has been better.

Golf's Identity Crisis — SC's Ryan Ballengee has been seeing a lot of things happening in golf over the past few years that upset him. It didn't strike him until recently, though, what all of these observations had in common. Golf is facing an identity crisis in every possible area.

March

The Fictional Pacman Jones Interview — With journalist essentials in hand — paper, pen, and Kevlar vest — SC's Jeffrey Boswell dodged bullets long enough to communicate with Adam "Pacman" Jones. A surprisingly candid and jovial Jones talked about the three Fs — football, firearms, and his NFL future.

March: The Greatest Month — NFL. NCAA. MLB. NHL. NBA. UFC. Ann Coulter losing her flipping mind. The 2008 Presidential race heating up. It's going to be a crazy month and SC's Seth Doria has a few thoughts he'd like to share. Read on and share your favorite thing about March.

Diversifying a Colorless Game — The coolest game on ice struggles to reflect the myriad ethnicities of the United States. Why has hockey failed to resonate with so many groups of people? SC's Jeff DiNunzio delves into this complicated issue that includes many socioeconomic factors.

In Hollywood, Everything's Zen — Kobe Bryant was once regarded as uncoachable by the most successful coach in the NBA today. But, as SC's Bob Ekstrom reports, $30 million and a quest for his 10th ring have gone a long way in improving Phil Jackson's appreciation for his ostracized star.

The Strangest Oddities in Tennis — Oddities in the world of tennis? There are plenty. However, some of these debatable issues hardly see the light of day in visible tennis platforms. SC's Mert Ertunga brings to attention some of these topics and questions their lack of attention by the tennis media.

April

Barry Bonds and 756 — The 2007 Major League Baseball season has begin, and perhaps the biggest story will be Barry Bonds' pursuit of the sport's most famous record: Henry Aaron's 755 career home runs. SC's Brad Oremland sorts out mixed feelings as Bonds chases history.

What Imus Really Said — SC's Greg Wyshynski examines the firing of national radio personality Don Imus after his comments about the Rutgers University women’s basketball team, and wonders if the outrage by the media and the black community is misplaced.

The Sports Guy's Enforcers — In a groundbreaking edition of the Slant Pattern, SC's Kevin Beane cracks the code on a far-reaching blogdome conspiracy: real-life friends of ESPN's The Sports Guy, Bill Simmons, will defend their pal at all costs. And they're kinda losers.

The Great Mysteries of Sports — SC's Greg Wyshynski welcomes in broadcaster Gary Thorne, who recently questioned whether Curt Schilling's bloody sock from the Red Sox's championship season was actually red paint. What other sports mysteries and legends will Thorne reveal?

May

The Legend of Barry Baseball — Barry Bonds is stalking Henry Aaron's home run record, and he's going to get it. It's only a matter of time. But as you read through the morally assured dismissals of Bonds' accomplishment, remember what got us here in the first place.

Sports Cultures in Focus: Australia — In this week's Slant Pattern, SC's Kevin Beane explores the sporting characteristics and mentality of Australia in what will be the first in a series of such mental anthropological expeditions. Just why are the Aussies so successful in international sporting events?

Why Federer Still Has Something to Prove — Experts and fans are already hailing Roger Federer as the best player who ever touched a wooden or metal racket. But if Roger doesn't win the French Open this year, or in the next couple of seasons, he will finish with an ugly blemish in an otherwise spotless career.

The Sports Fan's Cable/Satellite TV Paradox — Satellite and cable TV offer such a wide variety of sports programming that even the most diehard fan can find something to watch any time of day. But SC's Adam Russell believes some of the shows border on ridiculous and it will only get worse.

Goodell: My House, My Rules — Roger Goodell has already been very active in his first year as NFL commissioner, especially in the manner he has handled off-field misconduct. See how Poppa Goodell's changes sit with SC's Kyle Jahner as he outlines other offseason moves in NFL land.

June

Donovan Backs Out of Orlando? — Florida Gator fans, you can put down the Paxil and stop sobbing. The unimaginable has happened: Billy Donovan has had (another) change of heart and wants to return to the Gators. SC's Marc James takes a look at Donovan's never-ending carousel.

How to Revive U.S. Men's Tennis — SC's Tom Kosinski is tired of listening to the excuses for American men's professional tennis and the poor performance of the men on the red clay of Roland Garros. The American game is becoming one-dimensional. But there is a way to cure it.

Are the Spurs a Dynasty? — When the San Antonio Spurs beat the Cleveland Cavaliers in last week's NBA Finals series, did they establish a dynasty? You've heard arguments both ways, but SC's Brad Oremland compares the Spurs with other NBA dynasties to see how they stack up.

Posted by Marc James at 12:41 PM | Comments (0)

December 28, 2007

The NFL's Battle Against Big Cable

I was all set to write about how the evil cable companies and the business-first NFL was preparing to take a piece of NFL history away from the fans this weekend.

I did the research (looked at my cable bill for the first time in months), interviewed people (okay, talked to this drunk guy sitting next to me at a bar), and made my wife insane ranting and raving about how I was going to bring down the NFL and Big Cable with tap of a keyboard (or something like that ... look, it took a long time to finish "interviewing" that guy at the bar).

But my whole column idea was thrown for a loop when the NFL actually did the right thing and made the Patriots/Giants game available to just about anyone with a TV by simulcasting the game on both CBS and NBC (but not FOX, that would have been extreme).

I'm shocked.

No, seriously. I'm really shocked.

He Wants, She Wants

The NFL wants their new cable network on the standard digital cable tier. The cable companies want to either charge extra for the NFL network by itself or put It on a more expensive Sports tier (because the $125 per month we already pay for cable isn't enough).

The NFL has a government sanctioned monopoly on professional football.

The cable companies have a government ignored and empowered monopoly on cable TV.

Big Cable Owns Washington (and I don't mean the Redskins)

During this power struggle between the NFL and the cable companies, we've quickly learned who gives the most money to our local neighborhood politicians, and it's apparently not the NFL.

Congressmen have been coming out of the woodwork since the Cowboys/Packers game. They're just lining up to bash the evil NFL and throw their support behind the wonderful cable companies.

Pathetic Senator and former even more pathetic Presidential candidate John F. Kerry threw in his worthless two cents.

First, he offered to help broker a deal between the cable companies and the NFL. Then Comcast's check cleared and he changed his tune, threatening the NFL with Senate hearings for not making the game available to everyone (since the U.S. Senate has nothing better to do).

Not one threat thrown towards the cable companies.

Senator Arlen Specter, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, threw in his slightly less worthless opinion and threatened to reconsider the NFL's federal antitrust exemption.

Not a word was spoken by him about Comcast's monopoly on cable service in states like New Hampshire.

Why I Hate the Cable Companies

Let's take a look at Comcast specifically.

If I want the NFL Network, I need to pay extra for it. On the surface, I have no problem with this. As a matter of fact, if this was a consistent policy the NFL wouldn't have any beef at all. But it's only a consistent policy if Comcast doesn't own a piece of the station in question.

Case in point: if I want the NFL Network, I need to pay extra for it. However, if I want the Golf Channel, which Comcast owns a part of, I get it on the basic Digital tier. Don't have to pay a penny extra.

If I want the NFL Network, I need to pay extra for it. But if I want Versus (which features cage fighting and Dennis Miller!), I get that for free. By the way, Comcast owns a piece of Versus, as well.

If I want the NFL Network, I need to pay extra for it. Comcast Sports Net is available to me at no extra charge. I wonder who owns that station?

Excuses, Excuses

The cable companies will feed you a line of garbage about not wanted to make the consumer pay for channels they don't want to see. They'll tell you that if you really want to see the NFL Network (in Comcast's case, anyway), you can order the sports package and pay extra for it.

If you're keeping track, they're not forcing me to pay for football (the most watched sport on TV), but they are forcing me to pay for cage fighting, golf, and a sports channel named after them that features countdown shows, Tom Arnold, and a local "SportsCenter" rip-off.

They also force me to pay for SOAPnet, three shopping channels, the Gospel Music Channel, Women's Entertainment, the Style channel, and Lifetime. Which is great because I'm just itching to watch my soaps, buy something endorsed by Tony Romo's current girlfriend, listen to gospel music, see a chick flick about hating men, get a makeover, and then watch another chick flick about hating men.

I'm sure glad Comcast forces me to pay for that and not the NFL Network!

Who Cares?

I realize this sounds like an NFL Network commercial, but I assure you I hold no ties to the NFL other than being a fan. I just can't stand getting ripped off and lied to. It's the reason why I stopped watching the Boston Bruins.

You can only feed me crap and tell me it's ice cream so many times before I wash my mouth out and go find someone else to buy my ice cream from.

So while you're watching the Patriots make history on Saturday, be sure to check out IWantMyNFLNetwork.com.

Let's be honest, the game will be over by the third quarter anyway. You'll need something else to keep you busy.

I'm SeanMC.

SeanMC is the owner of Boston Sports Rants and is also a frequent contributor at The Bleacher Report. His columns will appear every other Thursday on Sports Central.

Posted by Sean Crowe at 11:06 AM | Comments (5)

December 27, 2007

Centers Reclaim the Paint, and NBA

There was a time long ago when big men ruled the NBA. It was a time when Shawn Bradley, Eric Montross, Bryant Reeves, Tony Battie, and Michael Doleac were drafted in the lottery, because being caught without a good center in the NBA was like being O.J. Simpson and not having a lawyer.

But for every solid center drafted, you'd find yourself a Alek Redojevic. (Who? Yeah, exactly — 7-3, 245, 1999, Toronto Raptors, 12th pick.) Then, there was that era when every seven-footer with a little bit of bulk was called Baby Shaq — Eddy Curry, Desanga Diop, James Lang.

These were dark times.

Then we all gave up on finding this rare breed. The Michael Olowokandi experiment failed. The Robert Traylor era ended. And Knicks fans thought Frederick Weis was the anti-Christ. So teams began to settle for smaller, hybrid centers.

And it worked.

They found players a tad short of seven feet who would run the court, grab a few boards, and defend the post well enough to get their fast breaks started.

Carlos Boozer, Mehmet Okur, Pau Gasol, Brad Miller, and, the quintessential hybrid center, Amare Stoudemire. And even Elton Brand passed as a "center."

But we all knew they weren't "true" centers.

So when this season came around, we thought it would be more of the same. But something very strange happened. In just one season, a center-depleted league became a big man's world again. I looked away for a second, and solid centers were everywhere.

The best way to understand this phenomenon is to split up the centers into three categories: 1) the old guys; 2) the journeymen; 3) the young guys.

The old guys — Shaq, Ben Wallace, and Zydrunas Ilgauskas — are quickly wearing down. It's the first year they aren't among the premiere centers in the league. It's largely because they've just gotten old, but it's also because everyone else has gotten so much better.

The journeymen are what give the position depth this year. Brendan Haywood has become a solid center, averaging 10 points and 8 rebounds a game. And Marcus Camby has become one of the best rebounders in the history of the game. He's got an uncanny ability to chase down the ball, almost Dennis Rodman-esque. Then there are Samuel Dalumbert (11 ppg, 10 rpg) and Jeff Foster (6 ppg, 9 rpg). These are solid centers teams can depend on to man the paint.

The big men have reclaimed the low post. A few years back, I wouldn't have been afraid to stand in the paint with any of the league's center — except Shaq. But have you seen Dwight Howard's shoulder? There's no way I'm standing within 10 feet of that man-child-beast. Yes, I just used the phrase "man-child-beast."

They are not simply filling a position. They have become the center-pieces of their franchises.

Howard is the leader of this up-and-coming group of centers. Yao Ming and Carlos Boozer are the oldest of the group. They guarantee their respective teams 20 points and 10 rebounds a game, at the least. That's what a franchise center does for you.

But Howard didn't get that memo. So the 22-year-old is putting up numbers that are even scarier than his broad shoulders — 24 ppg, 15 rpg.

Even Chris Kaman is getting into the flow of this center resurgence with 18 ppg and 14 rpg. And Andrew Bogut (12, 9) isn't doing too shabby, either.

Of course, there are a few young guys in the mold of the hybrid center, led by Stoudemire. Al Jefferson (20, 12), Emeka Okafor (14, 11), Al Horford (9, 10), and Andris Biedrins (11, 10) are all guys who would traditional be power forwards, but have filled the center role for their teams.

And then there's the 20-year-old Andrew Bynum (11, 10) who looks like he could be a 20-15 guy at some point in his career.

I just named nearly 20 centers who will give a team the post presence they need to compete in this big man's league. And that's not even counting Greg Oden, who is coming back next year.

But will this last? Or will the NBA return to small ball after the big-man trend goes through a regression?

Well, the last time it was a big man's league, a few guys named David Robinson, Hakeem Olajuwan, Shaquille O'Neal, and Patrick Ewing ruled the paint in every game they played in. In turn, they single-handedly changed the way teams approached the game. (Minus the Bulls, of course, with the legendary Luc Longley and his sidekick, Michael Jordan.)

So what's in store for the future? Until a meteorite like Jordan (maybe LeBron James?) comes and changes the course of the league, it will be the land of the giants for at least the next decade.

Posted by Alvin Chang at 11:56 AM | Comments (0)

December 26, 2007

College Hoops Highs and Lows

So we're starting to get deep into the college basketball season, and in the midst of a wild two months of hoops, it's time to hand out some awards for the best ... and worst ... of the early season.

BEST TEAM: Memphis

Believe me, it's not easy to pick a team that's not in a major conference and label them as the best team in America at any point of the season. However, Memphis has faced a tough non-conference slate and is standing unscathed as of today. The only game they've been seriously challenged was against USC (a 62-58 win), and most importantly, they've won games playing up-tempo and by playing half-court basketball. When you have a team that can win at various styles, you've got yourself a national title contender.

BEST PLAYER: Tyler Hansbrough, North Carolina

Yeah, yeah, he's a media darling. But you know what? He's earned the hype so far. He's the targeted player every time he takes the floor, yet he still is averaging 21.7 points and 9.7 rebounds a game for the Tar Heels.

BEST UPSET: Mercer 96, USC 81

I debated this one at length, especially when you think about fellow Atlantic Sun teams like Gardner-Webb, who shocked Kentucky at Rupp Arena, or Belmont, who stunned another SEC team in Alabama. However, USC, a team with high hopes, sits at 8-3 right now with wins over Oklahoma and losses to Kansas, Memphis ... and Mercer? The Bears surprisingly easy rout of the Trojans in Los Angeles has to stand out as one of the most impressive David over Goliath wins of the season.

COACH ON THE RISE: Kemo Davis, Drake

That's right, I said Drake. The small Missouri Valley team has raced to a 9-1 mark as of this writing, including wins over Iowa State and Iowa this season. Drake has proven to be the best team in the Hawkeye State, having won their last seven against in-state opponents (Iowa, Iowa State, and Northern Iowa). Davis, the son of Dr. Tom Davis of Iowa fame, has the pedigree and coaching experience at an early age to be very successful, and it's showing already. The Bulldogs have Cinderella written all over them this March.

And while I'm at it, let's give credit to Scott Drew at Baylor, who stepped into the giant mess that Dave Bliss left behind and has turned BU into a 9-1 team, including a solid win against South Carolina and a near-upset of Washington State. Also, you can't count out Andy Kennedy at Ole Miss, who's 10-0 with wins over Clemson and DePaul. Cincinnati has got to be regretting letting Kennedy get out of their grasp and down to Oxford.

BEST FRESHMAN: Michael Beasley, Kansas State

Beasley's averaging a meager 26.3 points and 14 rebounds a game. He's shooting 40.7 percent from behind the arc, and also averages two blocks a game, leading the team in all categories mentioned. The Wildcats are 8-3 as of this writing, but would they even have a winning record without Beasley on the floor? Seriously, where would they be without this guy? That's what Frank Martin will have to figure out next year in Manhattan.

Honorable mention goes to fellow Big 12 freshman superstar James Anderson, who's averaging 17.2 points a game for Oklahoma State.

BEST GAME: Pitt 65, Duke 64 (OT)

That game was more of a March Madness classic than a December battle. That was blood, sweat, tears, and all that is good about college hoops. Both teams left it all out on the court, and in the end, the Panthers had one more shot. The hope of everyone is that there will be a rematch sometime during the NCAA tournament, which, if it happens, might be in San Antonio.

BIGGEST EARLY COLLAPSE: Kentucky

As if there was any other team that could fit in this slot. Big Blue is in shock and awe right now, as the honeymoon for Billy Clyde Gillispie has ended, being replaced by a pretty warm seat right now. One can shrug off the losses to North Carolina and Indiana, but losing to Gardner-Webb, UAB, and Houston has fans in the Bluegrass State beside themselves, wondering what is going on at UK. Who'd have ever thought that Wildcat fans would be glad for football?

WORST COACHING JOB: Billy Gillispie, Kentucky

Granted, this could change in a hurry. Gillispie is by no means a bad coach. However, Kentucky doesn't shell out the big bucks to see their basketball team sit at 5-5. I think it'll take some time for the Wildcats to adjust to Gillispie's scheme. Where's Acie Law when you need him?

WORST GAME: Duke 121, NC Central 56

Duke played in the best game ... and worst game, of the season. Yawwwwwwwwwwn. Even at Cameron Indoor, this game had to be a total snoozefest. These two teams shouldn't play again until 2020, unless you count it as an exhibition.

Posted by Jean Neuberger at 11:44 AM | Comments (2)

December 24, 2007

A College Football Christmas Wish List

Dear Santa,

I have been a very good, er, boy this year, and would like to parlay this behavior into presents, as is custom ... only as a college football fan, these presents I am asking come in the form of appropriate endings to the season.

Given the nature of the regular season, this could take a while.

First, let the Boise State Broncos win a game in Hawaii. Chris Peterson was good and loyal, promising to stay on the horse in Idaho while coaches at other programs looked for greener pastures. Since he is content to stick with blue pastures, a decisive win over East Carolina should be the least you could do for him.

This one probably qualifies as a stocking stuffer.

And if you could see it in your heart, give Lloyd Carr a fair sendoff in the Capital One Bowl. Whether he retired or was fired (asked in no uncertain terms to retire), we will never know for sure. But if Vegas was taking bets, fired would have even better odds than the Gators have in this bowl. Granted the loss to an entire Appalachian State team of players Michigan wouldn't have even looked at in the recruiting game was a black eye to the program. But Carr has been a solid coach in Ann Arbor for over a decade, and a class act. He deserves to go out with dignity.

Of course, with Tim Tebow and Florida on the other sideline, a win might be the 50" HD plasma TV on the list.

Also, please help the BCS bowl snubs prove their worth. You know, rather than slip into a manic depressive state, allowing a bowl beneath them against a lackluster opponent to douse its competitive fire and result in an even more depressing loss.

Arizona State would have been a logical choice for the Fiesta Bowl. They're a local, 10-win team in arguably the second best conference in the nation, and a program rejuvenated by a new coach. But when the Rose Bowl selected 9-3 Illinois over obvious 10-win, eventual BCS at-large selections Georgia and Missouri, and with Hawaii securing an automatic bid, there were no at-large slots left. Ironic that the Rose Bowl sticking to its Big Ten/Pac-10 tradition (despite the lack of a BCS worthy Big Ten team) ended up hurting the Pac-10. So let the Sun Devils have a little fun in San Diego at the Holiday Bowl against Texas.

That one should be doable. Mack Brown has a heavy shortage of big-time wins without Vince Young at his disposal. Ask Oklahoma.

And speaking of obvious BCS at-large selection Missouri, the Orange Bowl went ahead and ignored the fact that Kansas had lost to the Tigers, didn't win its division, and only had a better record because that Missouri win forced the Tigers to play Oklahoma a second time. You know, that Oklahoma team Kansas didn't play once. In fact, Kansas' best win came against 7-5 Texas A&M, a resounding 19-11 victory. Missouri beat Texas Tech, BCS bound Illinois, and oh, did I mention, Kansas?

A Missouri loss in the Cotton Bowl to an Arkansas team reeling from a head coach defection and inner turmoil would be a lump of coal in the stocking, and undeniable proof that either Gary Pinkel or Chase Daniel clubbed baby seals in the offseason. Then again, no one but Oklahoma could keep the Tigers below 35 points, so I can't imagine the Arkansas defense will do much better.

Speaking of clubbing defenseless entities, Rich Rodriguez was the lone coach of a BCS team to leave its program before its bowl. Not that a lot of BCS coaches will be changing sceneries; generally that kind of success keeps the coach and the school in a state of mutual happiness. But when the coach sells out, consider mutual happiness ended. (Since you started reading this article, 5,368 West Virginia fans completed their Rodriguez voodoo dolls and went straight for the heart with a needle. Roughly a third of them skipped the pins and began ripping limbs off.)

I personally think building a program into national title contention is more of a challenge and accomplishment than taking the reigns at a ready made power that just happens to be a little off course. Greg Shiano at Rutgers, and until now, Rich Rodriguez, were examples, both local products winning 10 games at programs where it was thought unlikely-to-impossible. And you can help the program make the leap permanent; remember, Miami was nothing before the 1980s. But coaches have the right to take a better job; it's their career. Michigan has a vastness of tradition and resources unimaginable in Morgantown.

And it would be unfair to West Virginia and Michigan to continue a sham while both should begin moving in their new directions (especially mid-recruiting season). Still, it would be nice to see the team he leaves behind get in one last hurrah. Unfortunately they run into an Oklahoma team on fire. Then again, Oklahoma was a prohibitive favorite in last year's Fiesta Bowl, too...

... Which brings me to my most important wish, a bowl season full of interesting games I don't want to turn off at halftime. And if you can muster, I think everyone could use a game with just a fraction of the excitement of the Fiesta Bowl last year. Let Hawaii give Georgia a run for its money in the Sugar Bowl, or give us an amazing moment in a bowl we don't even see coming.

And finally, it will be a while after Christmas, and well, over a week after the New Year, too ... that's the problem, in fact. Ohio State hasn't played since the week before Thanksgiving. The Buckeyes need some kind of preservatives, anything to keep them fresher than they were in last year's title game. It's the last game of the college football season, have some compassion. Help them get over the fact that they haven't played a football game since the Minnesota Vikings were 3-6.

Of course, last year they were forced to play a fast, dangerous SEC team, and they played without their lethal wide receiver for a single offensive snap, and had its Heisman winning quarterback rendered ineffective ... wait, they play LSU, another speedy, talented SEC team and no longer have a Heisman quarterback or a lethal receiver ... damn. Still, could you see it in you to make this a game that goes into the fourth quarter undecided?

Okay, so I got greedy. And I guess a plus-one playoff for next year is out, too, huh? Yeah, thought so. Rats.

Well, there's always next year.

Sincerely,

Kyle

Posted by Kyle Jahner at 11:08 AM | Comments (0)

December 22, 2007

Tuna/Fish, Repeating on You

The problem with James Bond villains is timing. Or maybe patience. A gunshot to the head? Nah, too quick, too obvious. Where's the taunting? Where's the tease? Why end the threat with a speeding bullet when you can savor the agony with a slow-moving laser beam creeping up towards Sean Connery's haggis?

You have to pick your poison. Same goes for football fans. Do you want to get the losing over with quickly, and move on to the next evil scheme? Or do you want the tease of greatness, only to inevitably face defeat with a side order of acrimony?

Because that's the not-so-subtle difference between Bobby Petrino and Bill Parcells.

Many of us thought Petrino was going out like a bitch when he bolted the Atlanta Falcons after 13 games and crawled back to the college ranks, where he undoubtedly belongs. His attitude towards his staff of assistant coaches was akin to that sleezeball that grabs the last parachute on a plummeting plane, opens the hatch and calls out, "Enjoy the rest of the flight!" before leaping to safety.

That bitchly behavior continued once he took the job at Arkansas. Is there anything worse than when a coach, athlete, celebrity of any kind pretends they live their life in an echo chamber? Like when Petrino told the media that he was unaware of the tidal wave of criticism about his decision? "To be honest with you, I haven't heard any of that. I haven't watched any of it. I've just been working on what we need to get done here. ... We're going to go forward," he said. C'mon, Bobby, don't be a punk. The only guy who can get away with the "I was unaware of that criticism" is George W. Bush, and that's because he's given carefully selected morning reading material and attends rallies with even more carefully selected participants.

But here's the bitter pill about Petrino's move: there's something valorous about it. There's something impressive about a coach not being bull-headed or self-deluded about the reality of his surroundings. His team didn't like him. The pros were harder than the preps. It wasn't going to get any better, although one could argue that it couldn't get any worse ... unless Alge Crumpler is accused of staging fights between endangered spotted owls or something.

Petrino pulling the plug this early was an admission that he doesn't have the chops to be a professional football coach — hey, neither did Pete Carroll. Some guys are just better suited for the amateurs, where the focus is on making hallow promises to high school juniors and game-planning against defensive secondaries whose key players will be working at Jiffy Lube within the next five years.

Petrino pulling the plug this early was also a gift to the Falcons. Rather than watching a guy struggle through another season, ending with his probable firing, Atlanta can now speed up the rebuilding process with what it hopes is the right man for the job. Looking at it objectively, it ended rather well for both parties.

Bill Parcells and the Miami Dolphins will not end well. It never does. Parcells is the only man in football whose welcome can inspire greatness, but whose exit is appalling when that welcome is worn. The messy high-profile divorces he's had in the NFL are on a Britney Spears/Kevin Federline level.

Parcells comes to Miami with a mandate to help rebuild a crumbled mess. There will be blood, as the Tuna slashes through a Junior Varsity roster. Based on his track record, he will quickly transform the roster into that of a contender; and then it will all go to hell as Parcells is lured away by another interest or has a public spat with someone on the team or just decides that he's lost his smile again. It never ends well, even if the team continues to thrive based on his moves and influence (see Edwards, Herm).

What makes this Dolphins situation a tad different for Parcells is that, for now, he's not going to add coaching to his duties as vice president of all he surveys. While there's no question he's a solid judge of talent in a front office capacity, I wonder how much actually coaching these players means for the dramatic reversals of fortune on Parcells's teams?

The Fish will improve under the Tuna, because there's nowhere else to go but up. But without him on the sideline, they won't have the stunning postseason success of some of his other reclamation projects. Which means they won't have the success Parcells, his boss, and Miami fans are looking for. Which means that, eventually, this thing is going to end in uncomfortable failure.

There's an old sports adage that coaches are hired to one day be fired.

In the case of Petrino and Parcells, they're hired to one day abandon. It's just a matter of when.

Greg Wyshynski is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 10:26 AM | Comments (0)

December 21, 2007

Pro Bowl 2008: The Chosen and Snubbed

Pro Bowl selections were released on Tuesday and, for the most part, there were no gigantic surprises. Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, and Ben Roethlisberger versus Brett Favre, Matt Hasselbeck, and Tony Romo were the selections. I don't think anybody was too shocked to see those six guys, nor disagrees all that much with the picks, but there are a few picks that make perfect sense and are quite deserving, and a few subs that are rather ridiculous. Enjoy.

Picked, and With Good Reason

Adrian Peterson, RB, Minnesota Vikings

Who indeed deserves it more? The rookie phenom has been amazing averaging almost 6 yards a carry and over 100 yards per game. Let's hope this is just the first of many trips to Hawaii for Peterson.

Tony Richardson, FB, Minnesota Vikings

Finally, the days of selecting Mike Alstott, the pseudo-fullback, are over. Fullbacks are supposed to create holes and destroy linebackers and it is quite evident Richardson has done that, seeing as the Vikings have over 2,000 yards rushing already.

Tom Brady, QB, New England Patriots

Well, obviously.

Randy Moss, WR, New England Patriots

Again, obviously.

Devin Hester, KR, Chicago Bears

This was perhaps the biggest no-brainer selection on the entire roster. Hester has the ability to create commotion like no other player in the NFL. He is a big-time player and anybody from the Chicago area can only hope that in 2008, the Bears will find an offensive coordinator who can actually use him on a regular basis.

Jason Taylor, DE, Miami Dolphins

Despite Miami's woes, Taylor has performed well with 10 sacks and 4 forced fumbles.

Antonio Cromartie, CB, San Diego Chargers

Cromartie gives me flashes of Deion Sanders every once in a while. But he is by no means as good a cornerback. Sanders could absolutely shut down a receiver like very few others have been able to, but Cromartie plays with flare and has a nose for the ball. Oh, and that 109-yard missed field goal return doesn't hurt, either.

Lorenzo Neal, FB, San Diego Chargers

Neal fits right alongside Tony Richardson of the Vikings. Neal, the 15-year veteran, has the pleasure of blocking for the best running back in recent memory (LaDainian Tomlinson) and takes pride in blowing people up that get in his way.

Rob Bironas, K, Tennessee Titans

I think that 8-8 game ensured his selection.

Sean Taylor, FS, Washington Redskins

Nobody in the history of the NFL has been more deserving for a Pro Bowl selection than the late Sean Taylor. Even with only nine games played in the season before Taylor was so tragically murdered, he amassed numbers that spoke for themselves. He will be sorely missed and I hope the NFC remembers their fallen teammate in the same way the Redskins did.

Snubbed, and Who Knows Why

Marques Colston, WR, New Orleans Saints

Colston outperformed every receiver in the NFC, with the exception of Terrell Owens and perhaps Larry Fitzgerald. His absence from the Pro Bowl is ridiculous.

Wes Welker, WR, New England Patriots

Perhaps Welker was overlooked due to the amazing season of Randy Moss, but he is having a great year in his own right. I guess he was snubbed because of the guys who made it ahead of him (Moss, Reggie Wayne, Braylon Edwards, and T.J. Houshmandzadeh). I don't think I would have missed T.J. all that much.

Mario Williams, DE, Houston Texans

This snub was quite surprising. Williams is leading the AFC in sacks and is quite outperforming Kyle Vanden Bosch of the Titans. It just doesn't make sense to me.

Trent Cole, DE, Philadelphia Eagles

The three defensive ends that made the Pro Bowl for the NFC are no slouches, it's just disappointing Cole didn't get a shot.

Sean Jones, SS, Cleveland Browns

With 84 tackles (61 solo) and 5 interceptions, I think the AFC could have made room for Mr. Jones.

Charles Woodson, CB, Green Bay Packers

Please refer to the Al Harris listing under "Picked and Who Knows Why."

Oshiomogho Atogwe, CB, St. Louis Rams

Atogwe isn't the best, but with 7 interceptions, and Al Harris making the starting lineup, you've got to shake your head at least a little bit.

Kellen Winslow, TE, Cleveland Browns

I know Antonio Gates and Tony Gonzalez are great players, but Winslow is having one hell of a season. Maybe the AFC can just leave Houshmandzadeh home and split Winslow out to the slot.

Picked, and Who Knows Why

Al Harris, CB, Green Bay Packers

What in the world are people thinking? Al Harris isn't even the best cornerback on his team. People go after him constantly because Woodson is on the other side. Woodson has 4 interceptions, Harris has 2, Woodson has 57 tackles, Harris has 35, and they both have nine passes defensed. This was by far the worst Pro Bowl pick. Harris isn't even a good cornerback; he's mediocre most of the time.

Torry Holt, WR, St. Louis Rams

Let's see, Holt has fewer receptions than Marques Colston, has fewer yards, fewer touchdowns, and he's on a significantly worse team — oh yeah, a grand pick indeed.

Marion Barber, RB, Dallas Cowboys

Did I miss something? Marion Barber doesn't even start for his own team. He more than likely won't reach 1,000 yards rushing, what's going on? I would have gone with Earnest Graham of Tampa Bay. He has more touchdowns and he's been a catalyst in Tampa Bay's turnaround season. If Dallas ever gets any brains and starts giving Barber the ball 25 times a game, then yes, I'd like to see Barber in Hawaii.

Lance Briggs, OLB, Chicago Bears

Briggs has 95 tackles and not much else to talk about. There are plenty of other deserving candidates at linebacker; I'd suggest London Fletcher to take his place.

Kyle Vanden Bosch, DE, Tennessee Titans

Please refer to the Mario Williams listing above entitled "Snubbed and Who Knows Why."

Troy Polamalu, SS, Pittsburgh Steelers

Unimpressive numbers out of Polamalu this year and he missed four games. Sean Jones would have been a much better choice.

Snubbed, and With Good Reason

Chad Johnson, WR, Cincinnati Bengals

Though Chad Johnson is third in the AFC in receiving yards, he has a measly 6 touchdowns and the fact that the Bengals can't get anything together with two of the game's best receivers and a very capable quarterback makes me think he deserves to watch the game on TV this year.

Clinton Portis, RB, Washington Redskins

Despite over 1,000 yards rushing and 8 touchdowns, Portis's 3.9 yards per carry is despicable.

Edgerrin James, RB, Arizona Cardinals

Similar to Portis, only James has 1,000 yards rushing with 6 touchdowns and an even worse 3.8 yards per carry.

Fred Taylor, RB, Jacksonville Jaguars

I know, Taylor has never made a Pro Bowl and he was snubbed again, but let's be serious, would you really take Taylor over Tomlinson, Joseph Addai, or Willie Parker? No, you wouldn't and you shouldn't.

Eli Manning, QB, New York Giants

I just threw Eli on here for bashing sake. People keep expecting these great things from Eli Manning, but let's face it, they are not coming. He is ranked number 12 in the NFC in quarterback rating. That's below Joey Harrington and Brian Griese. If those guys are getting benched because they're simply not good enough, why is Eli still playing for a playoff-caliber team?

Posted by Andrew Jones at 11:37 AM | Comments (7)

December 20, 2007

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 16

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Pittsburgh @ St. Louis (+7½)

With the holidays approaching, it's a good time to give thanks for things such as $800 handbags, $500 video game consoles, cell phones with pacemaking capabilities, and $5,000 spinning rims. For those items, we have to thank the big coordinator in the sky, Jesus Christ. For those of you lacking the finer things in life, like DirecTV, well, you're obviously going to Hell.

"It's also the time of year to remember those less fortunate," says Ben Roethlisberger. "Like Anthony Smith. The dude needs some serious coverage skills. And Bryant Gumbel. If the season doesn't end soon, he'll be out of a job. Bryant's been a good little boy, so let's hope Santa answers his prayers for three NFL Network games a week next year. That would give him one more position to be demoted to. And, as a quarterback, I'd be thrilled if Santa Claus answered the wishes of little Marc Bulger, who asked for a flak jacket and five blocking dummies. And for the Steelers, we'd like a gift-wrapped scheduling error by the NFL that allows the No. 4 AFC seed to play the No. 6 seed, and not the No. 5-seeded Jaguars."

You've got to admire Bulger's courage when he hangs in the pocket, knowing a big hit is surely on the way, and makes the pass before a rib-crushing hit. It's reminiscent of the bravery displayed by Rams Vince Ferragamo in Super Bowl XIV against Pittsburgh's Steel Curtain in a 31-19 losing effort.

"The Incredible Hulk played quarterback for the Rams?!" asks an excited Scott Linehan, whose players don't like him when he's angry, or otherwise.

No, that was Lou Ferrigno, not Vince Ferragamo. But, from what I hear, Vince could get a little malicious when his eye black wasn't smeared on just right.

"But he didn't turn green and bulk up?" asks Linehan.

Yeah. But enough about the Mitchell report.

"Hey, speaking of superhuman feats of strength and Rams quarterbacks," says Linehan, "how about the time Jim, or was it Chris, Everett, flipped a table over after Jim Rome belittled him on national television, or at least in front of the Rome is Burning audience? That was a classic moment. I like that kind of attitude in Rams' quarterbacks. If Marc could show a little agitation now and then, I think he'd be a better quarterback. It's takes anger, and a certain amount of manhood, to turn over a table on Jim Rome after being called by the name of a women's tennis player. So this week, I'm challenging Marc Navritilova to come through with his best game of the year."

Sorry, Coach. Navritilova is more of a man than Bulger, with one heck of a slice serve to the ad court, to boot. It hasn't been a banner year for the Rams, and it continues. A legion of Terrible Towel wavers make the trip; Rams fans counter with Kleenex. Steelers win, 34-20.

Dallas @ Carolina (-10½)

With new flame Jessica Simpson in attendance, wearing a pink No. 9 jersey, Tony Romo fired mostly blanks, limp-arming his way to a 13-of-36, 214-yard, 3-INT day as the visiting Eagles stunned the Cowboys, 10-6. The loss dropped Dallas to 12-2, and raised the possibility that the Cowboys may not have homefield advantage throughout the playoffs. Romo also sprained his thumb, but he insisted he'd be ready to play Saturday against the Panthers.

"I don't know how we got those jersey's switched," says Simpson. "But obviously, Tony should have been wearing the pink one. Maybe there is some truth to the notion that whenever one of Tony's girlfriends shows up for a game, he plays badly. I should be so lucky. Whenever anyone shows up for one of my movies, it goes badly."

Simpson wasn't the only star in a Dallas luxury box on Sunday. Dallas Mavericks head coach Avery Johnson was the guest of Cowboys owner Jerry Jones. Jones discussed the business side of football, while Johnson tried to explain to Jones that the "pick and roll" is not a condition suffered by habitual nose-pickers.

"Fascinating stuff," says Jones. "Avery's a young, impressionable coach. I just want him to understand that he can't let the shenanigans and outspokenness of a meddlesome owner get in the way of his coaching. Also, if you want to be a man, you should talk like one."

It took 14 games, but it looks like the Panthers defense is rounding back into 2005 form. More amazingly, their cheerleaders have behaved themselves, although my Photoshop album says differently. And, remarkably, at 6-8, the Panthers still have a shot at the playoffs. It's a shot in the dark, but a shot nonetheless. The Cowboys are playing for much more, including the right not to play in Green Bay should the 'Boys advance to the NFC championship. The thought gives them goosebumps.

Romo plays, but his grotesquely swollen thumb proves that even cowgirls get the blues. Marion Barber rushes for a score, and Dallas wins, 24-17.

Cleveland @ Cincinnati (+3)

When the Browns and Bengals last met, the Browns introduced Derek Anderson as their starter at quarterback and introduced their offense to the Bengals defense. It was a match made in heaven, at least for the Cleveland offense, as the Browns outscored the Bengals to win 51-45. This Sunday, with a win, the Browns can clinch a playoff spot as well as keep their hopes for the division crown alive.

"For a first date," says Marvin Lewis, "the Browns sure did get lucky. You would think Chuck Woolery set them up. Our defense is easy, easy like Sunday morning, and as soft as Lionel Richie's afro in the Commodores' heyday in the mid-to-late 1970s. You know, that bouffant was the inspiration for today's airbag systems in automobiles. Richie slammed his 1976 Gremlin at 45 miles per hour into an oak tree and walked away physically unscathed. Mentally, he was damaged beyond repair, destined to be known less for his music and more as the stepfather of paparazzi and loser magnet, the socialite Nicole Richie. I can relate. Once I became a head coach, I lost all ability to teach defense, and afros and Gremlins had nothing to do with it."

With a win, or a Tennessee loss, the Browns clinch a playoff position. Already proven as a high-powered offense, Cleveland showed that they can grind out a defensive win when necessary. Last Sunday in the snow, Jamal Lewis rushed 33 times for 163 yards in the Browns 8-0 win over the Bills.

"Jamal is running with a renewed purpose," says Romeo Crenel. "Once again, he's running like the feds are hot on his tail. Only this time, he's outrunning them. We've pretty much built this team around Baltimore Raven personnel blunders. First, they cut Derek Anderson, then they didn't resign Jamal. It looks like the Ravens will have a high draft pick. We'll be there when he's cut."

Browns win, 31-27.

Green Bay @ Chicago (+9)

In the Packers' 33-14 win over the Rams last week, Brett Favre passed Dan Marino to become the all-time leader on the NFL's passing yardage list. Favre celebrated Marino's total erasure from the record book by donning a pair of Isotoner gloves and scarfing down six Slim Fast meals. Then, in a reversal of normal procedure, Favre called Marino, instead of the other way around, to inform the Dolphin great that he's got a better chance of finding his name in the Greater Miami phone book than the NFL record book.

"Hey, Dan was sick of calling me and congratulating me on breaking his records," says Favre. "There's no shame in being second to Brett Favre, unless it's in acting ability. I've seen goal posts with more range than myself, and a greater ability to avoid a Michael Strahan sack."

The Bears beat the Packers in Week 5, a defeat that still sits uneasily in the gullet of Favre, like a stale, mint-flavored dip of smokeless tobacco. Now it's time to spit. Favre throws for 223 yards and a touchdown, and the Packers win, 22-16.

Houston @ Indianapolis (-9)

The Colts actually trailed the Raiders 14-13 in the fourth quarter, but, as he has done so often before, Peyton Manning directed a game-winning fourth quarter drive to give the Colts a 21-14 win at Oakland. Indy locked up the AFC South crown and a first-round bye in the playoffs.

"The game-winning fourth-quarter drive has to be the most overrated statistic in the league," says Manning. "Just a side-note. Center Jeff Saturday has exactly the same number of game-winning fourth quarter drives as I. And he's a fat slob, but he's one of the few men I've encountered in life that gladly allows my hands in his crotch. For that, I commend him. Anyway, that's not important. What's important is the state of brother Eli's psyche. He's going through a tough stage now. People forget that he's still a young quarterback, and with that comes growing pains. I know. I suffered through some horrendous growing pains. Of course, mine were in the AFC championship, in the driving snow, against a New England team that eventually won the Super Bowl. Eli will overcome his, and one day, he'll win his Super Bowl. That might be eight years from now when he's backing up the starter in Houston. Until then, I'm changing my full name from 'Peyton Williams Manning' to Peyton "No Relation to Eli" Manning. And, just to clarify, Superbad is not a movie about the quarterback play of myself compared to Eli."

With a first-round bye locked up, the Colts have nothing to play for, but there's a load of incentive clauses in backup quarterback Jim Sorgi's contract he's dying to cash in on. Like, if he takes 20 non-kneel-down snaps, he gets to serve as a stand-in for Manning's next commercial shoot.

Colts win, 27-21.

Kansas City @ Detroit (-5)

Back in Week 7, the Chiefs were 4-3, first in the AFC West, while the Lions were 4-2, second in the NFC North. Since that pivotal week, Kansas City has lost seven in a row, while the Lions have gone 2-6.

"Now is no time to play the 'blame game,'" says Detroit president and chief buffoon Matt Millen. "I took this job to make this team better. And better we are. We only won three games last year. Already, we've won six. We had our win total from last year doubled by Week 9, which meant my salary doubled as well. Multiply that win total of six by one, and you've got our number of wins right now. I don't care how you add it up, this team is making progress. Now, to address our run-stopping abilities, which were anemic against the Chargers, I've signed the 'Dominator' Dominic Hasek to protect our goal, and I've signed New York Islanders goon and future felon Chris Simon to injure anyone who breaks past Hasek."

The Chiefs, along with the Ravens and Jets, qualified for the playoffs last year. Like Baltimore and New York, Kansas City has tumbled hard. Those three teams are a combined 11-31, and their tumbles from glory have been drastic.

"That's the nature of the game," says Jared Allen, the Chiefs lone Pro Bowl selection on defense. "You win some, you lose some, you lose some more, then you lose some more. Hey, since the Chargers are no longer whining for Marty Schottenheimer to come back, can we get him to come back here?"

No dice, you slacker. Marty's on a boat somewhere at sea, desperately trying to find his way back to land.

Lions win, 27-21.

Miami @ New England (-21½)

The Dolphins head to New England as the hottest 1-13 team in the league, while the Patriots, who have shown weaknesses and vulnerability lately, are playing not like a team that is 14-0, but more like a 13-1 team, or maybe a 13-0-1 team. Last week's sloppy 20-10 win over the Jets put an anticlimactic end to the "Spygate" affair, as Bill Belichick and Eric Mangini shared what appeared to be a warm handshake at game's end. In any case, the Patriots' quest of perfection continues against the Dolphins, the last team to defeat them in a regular season game.

"It looked like a sincere handshake," says Randy Moss, "but you guys couldn't see the joy buzzer in Belichick's hand. I can't tell you how many times that son of a gun has zapped me with that little toy. Coach calls it his 'Michael Vick' handshake. Coach is a great guy. I never envisioned being a part of such an organization. Heck, I never envisioned using the word 'envision.' I think being around Coach, Tom Brady, and all the guys has given me a sense of class. You know, I had never worn a shirt with a collar until I became a Patriot. It saddens me to think that I lived much of my life under the notion that 'dressing up' meant wearing an oversized t-shirt bearing the image of Tupac Shakur, Scarface, or a marijuana leaf. I'm a changed man, now. I want an undefeated season to be the defining moment of my career."

The Dolphins averted history last week, beating the Ravens 22-16 for their first win and ending their winless drought, thereby ensuring they wouldn't match the 1976 Buccaneers for futility. Now, with the pressure off, Miami can focus their attention on working a miracle and shocking the undefeated Patriots.

"We were quite inspired last week by seeing the undefeated 1972 Dolphins," says Jason Taylor. "I have to admit, when I first saw those guys, I thought a shuffleboard tournament was starting, or maybe choir practice, but once they put those jerseys on, it was a moving moment. Sunday in New England, we'll have to find our own inspiration. And, as last week proved, there's nothing like a reunion to do the trick. I hear the boys from Led Zeppelin are back together, which means some of the most greatest music in history is about to be replayed. But who cares about the music. I want to know when the band, an uninhibited groupie, and a mud shark will be reliving their magic moment."

The Pats have earned homefield advantage throughout the playoffs. Oddly enough, that could work to their disadvantage. As the Jets game showed, bad weather conditions somewhat bring the Patriots back to the field. Sure the Pats are a cold-weather team, but their offense doesn't hit high gear on a sloppy field. The Colts, Steelers, and Jaguars all seem to have modus operandi more suited to the cold and snowy conditions likely to occur in January. But, I guess that's the price the Patriots must pay for going undefeated. They've made their bed, now they must sleep in it.

Patriots win, 32-9.

NY Giants @ Buffalo (+3)

It's a rematch of Super Bowl XXV, won by the Giants 20-19 when Scott Norwood kicked himself and his single-bar facemask into oblivion. That game marked the second Super Bowl win for the Giants and the first of four consecutive Super Bowl losses for the Bills. More importantly, it marked the last coherent performance by Whitney Houston, who sang The Star Spangled Banner at the game.

"That brought tears to my eyes," says Tom Coughlin, "much like crack cocaine withdrawal, an open-handed slap from Bobby Brown, or watching Eli Manning quarterback in windy conditions against the Redskins."

Manning was awful in the Giants 22-10 loss to the 'Skins, going 18-of-52 for 184 yards. And, once again, he had to face the wrath of the New York media and fans, something he has dealt with his entire career, and handled admirably, never losing his cool.

"Look, I don't live in a vacuum," says Manning. "If I did, I wouldn't have to deal with media and fan criticism, and I would probably complete more than 34% of my passes, since there's no wind in a vacuum, nor are there any defenders. Also, in a vacuum, family legacies cannot be tarnished. So I, as well as my teammates, need to turn this thing around and dispel this talk of the Giants' late-season swoon. We can't beat teams with a winning record. Luckily, the Bills are 7-7; that makes this a toss-up."

The Bills have been eliminated from the playoffs, but that doesn't mean they don't want to wreck the Giants road to a playoff berth. No matter what the stakes, the Bills will lineup and smack you in the mouth.

"We always hang in a Buffalo stance," says Dick Jauron. "For the playoffs, the Giants have no chance. In the pocket, Eli's got ants in his pants. Get medieval on their ass, use a lance."

The Giants get out of their G-Funk, and play like all-stars. New York wins, 26-20.

Oakland @ Jacksonville (-13)

After a 29-22 win at windy and cold Heinz Field, the Jags are 10-4 and confident that they can go anywhere, in any kind of weather, and beat any team in the NFL. Jacksonville has all the necessary ingredients for a successful playoff run: a punishing running game, an efficient, mistake-free quarterback, a hard-hitting defense, and a confident coach who knows how to motivate the cats. And he likes to tease.

"We're walking tall," says Jack Del Rio. "Like Buford Pusser, we speak softly and carry a big stick. And I'm not talking about Walking Tall starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. I'm talking about Walking Tall starring Joe Don Baker. "The Rock" carries a toothpick compared to the wooden club Joe Don wields. And, his name is "Joe Don," which scores points in my book. After learning of the NFL's Pro Bowl choices, I'd like to take a stick upside the heads of the members of the selection committee. Not a single Jaguar on the team. You've got to be jiving me. That's blatant disrespect. You can best believe I'll use that to motivate my team against the Raiders. This time, it's personal. I'm not here to feathers ruffle, but if I were Lane Kiffin, I wouldn't start JaMarcus Russell.

"I'm starting to rhyme and I like it. We're fired up, and I've separated my shoulder from pumping my fist so much. Does anyone want to play us? We'll go on the road anywhere, against anyone, and take their best shot. And I guess we'll have to, since we're a wild card team. Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds. Oh, sorry. Reading the motto on the post office always brings tears to my eyes, especially after a tough win on the shag carpet in Pittsburgh. But you can apply that motto to us, as well. And it won't cost you 41 cents."

An inspired Jaguars team comes out firing, and the Raiders from the "Black Hole" are smashed by the Jags from the "Jack Hole." Fred Taylor rushes for 118 yards and a score, and Maurice Jones-Drew returns a kickoff for a score, and pancakes a few blitzing linebackers. Jacksonville wins, 29-10.

Philadelphia @ New Orleans (-3)

Sure, Philly's 10-6 win over the Cowboys kept them alive in the playoff hunt, but can you really be impressed by a team whose highlight of the year is that of Bryan Westbrook tackling himself at the one-yard line, sacrificing personal glory for the sake of team goals, a display of unselfishness not seen since Reggie Bush autographed some checks for members of his family?

"Hey, I thought it was a brilliant play," says Andy Reid. "But let's give credit where credit is due. John Runyan made that call. Me? I was totally stunned. Speechless. Light-headed. Much like how I felt when I had my first Whopper freak-out. Luckily, it was just a trick. Burger King is not discontinuing the Whopper. It's a good thing, too. I was ready to get in my car and run down the King myself."

With a win Sunday and a Vikings loss to Washington, New Orleans would take tentative hold of the No. 6 playoff seed. Westbrook won't voluntarily hit the turf at the one-yard line this time. Eagles win, 28-26.

Atlanta @ Arizona (-10½)

The post-Bobby Petrino era began in Atlanta with apocalyptic repercussions — the Falcons apparently don't really want to play for anyone. In their 37-3 loss to the Buccaneers, Atlanta produced only five first downs and 133 yards of total offense, the kind of docile submission that one former Falcon was not fond of seeing. In addition, four Falcons were fined for displaying "Free Mike Vick" shirts under their uniforms in the Falcons loss to the Saints. It's this culture of lawlessness that owner Arthur Blank will have to abolish when he searches for a new coach, again, this offseason.

"Godspeed to you in that endeavor," says Kurt Warner. "I think Blank will be the first owner to employ a lie detector when he interviews applicants. But the Falcons needs aren't limited to just a coach. They need a quarterback, a kicker whose age does not exceed his range, and players who aren't blindly supportive of a teammate who's in jail for felonious behavior. I'm a man of the cloth, and I'm not one to pass judgment, but tell me. Was Bobby Petrino criticized more for simply breaking his word and accepting the job at Arkansas than Vick was for executing dogs?

"Okay, maybe that's overstating, but I didn't hear a single person, player, analyst, announcer, or otherwise, give Petrino any type of support whatsoever. Who's to say Petrino won't learn from his mistakes, and emerge from this a better man, as so many people have said about Vick? Vick's behavior was reprehensible; Petrino's was just irresponsible. But Petrino's not a dog killer; he's simply a jerk who won't be able to recruit any talent at Arkansas. He'll resign in 18 months and become quarterbacks coach for the Sioux City Barnburners of the semi-pro Iowa Cornfield League. As for a new coach, Arthur Blank, I think the Fathead spokesman would make a great one. Now, if you'd all join me in a Christmas song dedicated to Vick, 'O Come All Ye Faithful.' And pay special attention to the lyric 'O come let us abhor him.' On a side note: the NFL has approved t-shirts of support for Vick. However, they must read 'Free Mike Vick (in 23 Months).'"

Warner throws for three touchdowns, and the Cardinals roll, 34-16.

Baltimore @ Seattle (-10)

Last week wasn't a particularly good day for birds in the NFL, as the avian contingent went a combined 1-4, with the Eagles the only winner. Fittingly, all the others laid eggs, including the Ravens and Seahawks.

"You might think the greatest trick the devil ever pulled is how I still have a job," says Brian Billick. "No, the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that Keyser Soze didn't exist. One day, I'll wake up, and poof. Just like that, I'll be gone. At least, if 90% of Baltimore had it's way. Apparently, though, our owner Steve Bisciotti is in the minority. He's told me I'll be back in 2008, although he's going beyond his duties as an owner and shopping me around to college teams. So far, no takers. Hey, if Bobby Bowden hasn't been fired, then no coach should be."

Right now, the Seahawks hold the No. 3 seed in the NFC based on their head-to-head win over Tampa Bay. Knowing whether Dallas or Green Bay will be the No. 1 seed would certainly help them decide if they want to keep that No. 3 seed.

Seattle wins, 27-10.

NY Jets @ Tennessee (-9)

Fans at Jets home games can get a little rowdy, what with the synchronized chantings for ladies to raise their Chad Pennington jerseys and show their hooters, which is normally more manhood than Pennington himself can display. But fans at Tennessee's LP Field have their own ritual, gathering on the railing of the outer concourse and urging women to "show their teeth." Then, if the number of teeth is higher than Vince Young's Wonderlic scores, then those women are asked to show their Titans.

"Hey, I resent the stereotype that citizens of this state lack dental hygiene," says Jeff Fisher. "And I resent even more the insinuation that citizens of this state are in any way partial to women with large breasts and multiple teeth. I'm all for 'toothless expression' in the crowd just as much as I am for 'ruthless aggression' on the field. Anyway, the Titans support dental hygiene. Running back LenDale White sponsors the 'Brush Your Teeth After Every Meal' program for elementary students in Nashville. Cavities are down 45%, and LenDale's brushing his teeth nine to ten times a day."

The Jets' 20-10 loss was a moral victory, but is the momentum from that game enough to guarantee a win over the Titans. Not to most people, but to Hall of Fame Jet Joe Namath, armed with his newly-received diploma from the University of Alabama, guarantees are made to be backed up.

"I guarantee," says the 43rd-year Tuscaloosa senior, "that somebody on one of these two sidelines is getting a kiss."

Namath then flips the tassle on his mortarboard and lays a wet one on Chad Pennington, who gets that weak-in-the-knees feeling, which goes nicely with his weak-in-the-right-arm feeling.

Titans win, 26-14.

Tampa Bay @ San Francisco (+7)

Have the 49ers found their quarterback of the future in third-stringer Sean Hill, who led San Francisco to a 20-13 win over the Bengals last week, throwing for 197 yards and a score and rushing for another touchdown?

"More importantly," says John "Krush" Gruden, "Hill didn't get called out by Mike Nolan as a pansy. It's not good coaching to call out a player like that. And it's not good playing to actually be a pansy. But we'll be ready for the 49ers and their low-powered attack. They're only averaging 13.6 points per game. 13.6 is catastrophic on the Richter Scale, but in the NFL's offensive points per game rankings, it's anything but earth-shaking. In the battle of the Bays, we're going to dine at Monster Park al 'Frisco, outdoors on natural grass. Hopefully, we can maintain our No. 1 spot in next week's 'Team You Don't Want to Play in the Playoffs' rankings."

Buccaneers win, 24-9.

Washington @ Minnesota (-6½)

The quarterback play of Todd Collins has given Redskin Nation a renewed hope for a playoff berth, and Washington could take a monstrous step in that direction with a win over the Vikes, who currently have what Washington wants, the final wild card spot. The play of Collins, who has led the 'Skins to two-straight victories, has even impressed some Redskins of old, including running back John Riggins.

"If only his name were 'Tom' instead of 'Todd,'" says Riggins, "then my favorite drink and my favorite quarterback would have the same name. Don't ask me what I was thinking when I named my son 'Laser Beam Riggins,' or my dog 'Rex On the Beach.'"

Hey kids, if you need a hero, look no further than Riggins, the only Super Bowl MVP to have flirted with a Supreme Court justice and passed out under a table at a Washington Press Club dinner. And we think Pacman Jones is a bad influence.

With their Monday night win over the Bears, the Vikes eliminated four teams from playoff contention (the Bears, Lions, Eagles, and Cardinals). Quarterback Tarvaris Jackson threw three interceptions, but he was constantly bailed out by the Viking defense, which held the Bears to only 209 total yards.

"We did a lot of bailing," says defensive tackle Pat Williams. "Almost as much as we did when somebody jammed a portable stripper pole clear through the hull of the boat on our infamous sex cruise. If not for the quick action of the bucket brigade, and some serious pumping and suction, that boat would have gone down like the rest of us."

Washington wins, 22-20.

Denver @ San Diego (-9)

In Week 9, the Lions blasted the Broncos 44-7. Last week, the Chargers smoked the Lions 51-14. Does that mean Broncos are facing a blowout?

"No, not at all," says Mike Shanahan. "The Lions just plain suck. We just plain suck at random. So, I have no idea what kind of effort we'll put forth on Christmas Eve. By the time all the little children on the East Coast are tucked away, with visions of sugarplums and HGH dancing in their heads, we could be up by three, or down by 28. I can't tell you which. I do know that we'll need to stop LaDainian Tomlinson."

And how do you propose to do that?

"Well, there's one way to get into the head of Ladainian Tomlinson," says Shanahan.

With a 9/16" drill bit?

"No."

Force him to decipher play calls made in the voices of Busta Rhymes and Lil' John?

"No."

Then what?

"Constant reminders that Philip Rivers is his quarterback and Norv Turner is his coach."

Yep. That could be a problem come playoff time. But on Christmas Eve, with Qualcomm Stadium full of cheer and good tidings, and with reindeer droppings adorning the night sky, Tomlinson carries the Chargers to a 28-14 win.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:06 AM | Comments (0)

December 19, 2007

Numbers Don't Make Brady Great

Tom Brady could very well break Peyton Manning's single-season touchdown record this year, and it shouldn't matter. At least not when it comes to debating whether or not he is one of the greatest quarterbacks to play in the last 25 years.

He is, no arguments there. He's won three Super Bowls, and lost two playoff games ... ever. The only thing that could increase his legacy is either another Super Bowl, or something even more historic — say a run at immortality. 19-0 would do that, and the Patriots are primed for it.

The only thing Brady accomplishes with his gaudy numbers this season is solidify his standing as the overall No. 1 fantasy selection in next year's drafts. The last thing he needs to do is rack up garbage statistics against helpless opponents like the Redskins.

Not that I think there's anything wrong with running up the score in the pros. They're paid to do this for a living. If they get embarrassed, so be it. But it doesn't mean you have to. Peyton Manning could have thrown for 800 yards and 10 touchdowns last Sunday night against the Ravens if he and Tony Dungy were so inclined.

If the great 49ers teams from the '80s and early '90s hadn't shown compassion, and let Joe Montana pass for every touchdown instead of handing off to Roger Craig, how many points could they have scored? Would anyone have remembered?

*****

Brian Westbrook's fourth quarter dive at the one was the coolest thing I have ever seen in football. Jamal Lewis could have done the same thing a week before against the Jets, but opted for glory.

True, a lot of fantasy owners might have been disappointed, but how many people who have had the wherewithal to take a knee and wrap up the victory like that?

*****

Reports earlier this season said some of the Jets players had quit on Eric Mangini, and Gang Green's personnel have never warmed up to him the way they would have given everything for Herm Edwards.

And every former player turned NFL analyst insists they would love to play for Herm. My question is why?

A year after backdooring their way in the playoffs before getting humiliated, the Chiefs are enjoying their worst form since the late '70s. Herm's thoughts? "People aren't used to this here. Get over it."

I'm sure the Chiefs fans have accepted their terrible season. What they probably haven't gotten over though is when Herm calls timeout to debate whether or not to challenge, then challenges, loses predictably, which causes his team another timeout.

*****

Two Sundays ago, Sean Payton might have cost his team a playoff bid with his dicey decision to run a flea-flicker late in the fourth when New Orleans had Tampa Bay virtually dead to rights. But as crazy as it seems, I don't blame him.

He's an aggressive play caller, and it got his team to the NFC Championship Game last year, and after a miserable start, compounded by injuries, the Saints are in the thick of the hunt.

You can't expect him to be unconventional for 58 minutes a game, then suddenly shut it down at the end.

*****

Brett Favre was named Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of the Year. He's having a good season, and done some wonderful things, no one is arguing, but what exactly does Roger Federer have to do win this thing?

They guy has dominated the sport the last four years like no one ever has. The only major losses he has is on clay, to a guy who never loses on clay and will soon become too old to do all the things he is currently accomplishing.

If he was American, he would be as revered as Tiger Woods. But since he is European, he receives less recognition than David Beckham. Can Sports Illustrated show some love to something outside of the major three and Tiger?

*****

The Bears started Kyle Orton Monday night. Really, Lovie Smith? Really? Kyle Orton? I know Rex Grossman is hurt and Brian Griese isn't good, but starting Orton is just giving up. Sure, the mistakes won't be as high, but neither will any other passing numbers, including points.

If Griese had played last night, with all the chances the Chicago defense gave the offense, the Bears would have won. Lovie right now looks like a sore winner, telling everyone Griese wasn't any good for so many months, and now proving his point.

Posted by Piet Van Leer at 11:59 AM | Comments (0)

Snooker: All Hail Rocket Ronnie

I'm no spin doctor, but announcing your desire to emulate a convicted rapist, drug offender, and rampant reprobate seems unlikely to feature in a PR model for professional sports stars. Clearly, snooker player Ronnie O'Sullivan, who did just that following his UK Championship triumph on Sunday, has not been reading many sporting autobiographies lately. In the kingdom of the one-dimensional, cliché-spouting, market-friendly robo-athlete, banality is king.

To his endearing credit, O'Sullivan has never been one for conformity. In truth, his stock as snooker's dark circus, its biggest draw, and most popular player, is built on precisely the opposite. The Rocket's allure is his genius, and genius is inevitably accompanied by chaos. It should therefore come as no surprise that Mike Tyson serves as O'Sullivan's role model elect. "For all his faults, whenever he was in the ring, he brought excitement and that's as important to me as records. Tyson was explosive, on the edge and with an edge," he said.

The edge, it appears, is where it's at. Aerosmith wrote a song about it, U2 named their riff-churning guitarist after it, and Keith Richards once said he lived on a ledge hanging over it. Unsurprisingly, O'Sullivan's favourite band is The Rolling Stones, and not The Beatles — proving that almost half a century on, the debate that divided a nation is still a viable cultural barometer. The Beatles may have made better albums, pushed musical boundaries, and sold more records, but The Stones have always been more entertaining. And there's a reason they call it the entertainment business.

Anybody who witnessed O'Sullivan's maximum in the deciding frame of his semifinal victory over Mark Selby could relate to that sentiment. As he set about making the table appear four-feet long and the pockets as wide as an estuary, there wasn't a statistic in the world capable of undermining O'Sullivan's status as the greatest player snooker has seen. That Stephen Hendry has won almost twice the number of world-ranking titles seemed as relevant as the fact that Melanie C has written more number one singles than any female in the history of British music. If only statistics could measure joy.

In many ways, O'Sullivan's enduring popularity represents a yearning for the sporting heroes of yesteryear. Like John McEnroe, George Best, and Alex Higgins before him, O'Sullivan appears unconcerned with the consequence of his words or actions. Life's too short for pretence. Tellingly, in the era of the guarded, press-savvy sports star, the public have met his honesty with adulation; the news of every opened wound pulling them deeper under his spell. Nobody is perfect, but everyone can relate to a flawed genius. Maybe the PR gurus have got it all wrong.

Posted by Will Tidey at 11:03 AM | Comments (0)

December 18, 2007

In the Box: NFL Week 15

With the lack of playoff drama (thanks Chicago), I'm substituting the weekly playoff positioning update for a few notes about baseball, college basketball, and college football:

Baseball

Arizona landed Dan Haren, a huge move for the Diamondbacks that makes them the early front-runner for the NL pennant.

The Cards traded Jim Edmonds to the Padres. I'm sad to see him go, but it's a good move for the organization. New GM John Mozeliak has embraced the youth movement, making the decision to let go of guys like Edmonds, So Taguchi, and Adam Eckstein, while clearing room for prospects like Colby Rasmus, Brendan Ryan, and Jarrett Hoffpauir. Also, Mozeliak's not giving away Scott Rolen for pennies on the dollar, which is the right move. (I wrote a full column on the Rolen situation for The Left Calf.)

I believe Andy Pettitte. I do not believe Roger Clemens.

Mark McGwire's only mentions in the Mitchell Report were in relation to the Andro, which was legal at the time. Please vote him in the Hall of Fame with no further delay.

I would not have signed Aaron Rowand for $60 million over five years.

College Basketball

The best teams I've seen: Memphis, UCLA, Indiana, Duke

Best teams I haven't seen: Georgetown, Texas, North Carolina, Kansas

The most entertaining teams I've seen: Massachusetts, Purdue, Gonzaga, Virginia

Highly ranked teams in line for a possible first-round upset: Pittsburgh, Florida, Michigan State, Clemson

Most dangerous unranked non-BCS teams that I haven't yet mentioned: St. Mary's, Rhode Island, Kent State, George Mason

Four players you should watch if you get the chance: Jerryd Bayless (Arizona), Robbie Hummel (Purdue), Jason Richards (Davidson), James Harden (Arizona State)

Also:

Tubby Smith has Minnesota at 7-1. They're not exactly playing murderer's row (134 SOS according to kenpom.com), but this could be a developing story.

The best record in the Missouri Valley belongs to Drake at 9-1.

Atlantic 10 commissioner Linda Bruno resigned December 5, effective June 30, 2008. Bruno did a lot in her 13 years, and she leaves behind a league having a great all-around year, but TV is the money-maker and Bruno hasn't gotten it done. For the sake of the league, the conference presidents need to choose somebody with excellent experience developing television deals. It's the single most important element in keeping up with the other non-BCS elite, and an area where the conference is severely lagging.

To anybody at ESPN.com: your new college basketball team pages stink. The full schedule/results should still be on the main page, and the roster should have the first names and class. What was the thinking here? "Let's make it less informative and more visually distracting?" Graphics should never replace data, and that's exactly what's been done. Please change it back.

College Football

Utah, Florida Atlantic, Cincinnati, New Mexico, BYU, Boise State, Purdue, Arizona State, Boston College, TCU, Oregon State, Wake Forest, Central Florida, Penn State, Colorado, Clemson, South Florida, Air Force, Georgia Tech, Kentucky, Indiana, Hawaii, Arkansas, Illinois, Florida, Tennessee, Virginia, Oklahoma, Kansas, Rutgers, Tulsa, LSU.

And now back to our regularly-scheduled programming.

***

The Dolphins may have won, but they're still the biggest losers in town. The top eight picks as of right now (to include all four four-win teams):

1. Miami (1-13)
2. St. Louis (3-11; .505 strength of schedule)
3-4. Tie: Atlanta and NY Jets (Both 3-11 with a .536 strength of schedule; Tie would be broken by coin flip. The Falcons face Arizona and Seattle in their final two with a combined current record of 15-13. The Jets face Tennessee and Kansas City with a combined record of 12-16.)
5. San Francisco (4-10; .444 strength of schedule; Pick owned by New England)
6. Baltimore (4-10; .490 strength of schedule)
7. Oakland (4-10; .495 strength of schedule)
8. Kansas City (4-10; .536 strength of schedule)

Tie-Breaker Procedures

Week 15:

Minnesota 20, Chicago 13: Thank you for playing Philadelphia, Arizona, and Detroit. Better luck next year.

Also, if the Vikings do end up in Seattle for a playoff game, you can't possibly bet on Tarvaris Jackson in that kind of hostile environment. Adrian Peterson or no Adrian Peterson, Jackson is not a QB who can win a road playoff game. Not this year, anyway.

Fantasy Impact: LaDainian Tomlinson still has to go first in fantasy drafts next year, but is Peterson now No. 2? That's going to be a tough, tough call come next August.

Indianapolis 21, Oakland 14: I disagree with Peter King's assertion this was just a mail-in game for the Colts. The Raiders may be just 4-10, but they're a tough group with a lot of pieces in place for a step forward in 2008. A couple of weeks ago, I gave Lane Kiffin a C-, trending toward a D for his debut campaign. After watching them in this one, I'd put it at a C+, trending toward a B.

Fantasy Impact: One of the big mistakes Kiffin made was leaving Dominic Rhodes to rot on the bench all season (he had seven rushes for 41 yards in this one, including a 19-yarder). This was the first time Rhodes has gotten more than two carries in game since a poor Week 7 against the Chiefs. Even with the emergence of Justin Fargas (after the early domination by LaMont Jordan), Rhodes should have been a much bigger part of the offense this year.

(Unfortunately for Rhodes, he's finally going to get his chance with Fargas out for the year, and it's going to be against a monster Jacksonville defense. Sometimes life just ain't fair.)

Philadelphia 10, Dallas 6: The Cowboys went 1-of-13 on third down. They rushed for only 53 yards and gave up four sacks. They gave up more than 300 yards. At home.

That is not how champions play.

Fantasy Impact: Tony Romo's 35 touchdowns are great. His 17 picks are not. You can make the Super Bowl with a QB who throws a lot of interceptions (Rex Grossman had 20 last year), but you have to go all the way back to Phil Simms, with 22 in '86, to find a QB with that many picks and a championship ring.

Washington 22, New York Giants 10: If only Joe Gibbs hadn't blown so many close games, this would be a playoff team. They've always had the talent, and they've been playing with incredible intensity since Sean Taylor's death (Taylor's replacement, Reed Doughty, played a really solid game in this one). As long as they make the right hire this offseason, I'm picking them to win the NFC East next year.

(Dallas is going to have a down year as the T.O. cancer metastasizes. It's happened everywhere he's been. Don't fool yourself into thinking it won't here. Philly's about to enter a rebuilding phase. The Giants have Eli Manning.)

Fantasy Impact: No more Jeremy Shockey for the Giants, but Brandon Jacobs looked powerful and Sinorice Moss looked like a legit NFL threat for the first time in his career (while Amani Toomer just looked old).

Cleveland 8, Buffalo 0: Since there's not a whole lot of detail other than "lots of snow," the AFC-Democrat equivalent of last week's NFC-Republican comparison:

Jacksonville is Hillary Clinton (All the right pieces in place, but everybody's looking for a reason to doubt them)

Cleveland is Barack Obama (A breath of fresh air, a great story, but questions about their experience)

Tennessee is John Edwards (A close third, but nobody really believes they can do it)

(I'm not going to demean Buffalo or Houston, both at 7-7, by comparing them to Joe Biden or Denis Kucinich. They've given a great effort. Let's just leave it at that.)

Also, the Bills lost offensive coordinator Steve Fairchild, who has taken over as the new head coach at Colorado State. Fairchild played and coached as an assistant with the Rams, so it was a natural move for him. But this hurts the Bills, and I'd consider it a factor in their shutout loss this Sunday. (The snow was a bigger factor, but the Fairchild factor couldn't have helped.)

Fantasy Impact: You had to love that Phil Dawson 49-yarder. If I were to re-write my "who would you take if your life depended on it" column, I'd have to take Dawson over Adam Vinatieri.

New England 20, NY Jets 10: And there are the defense and running game.

Fantasy Impact: The weather forecast for Foxborough on Sunday is a balmy 44 with low chance of precipitation. Bet on a return to the aerial attack against the Dolphins. Laurence Maroney owners take heed.

Carolina 13, Seattle 10: Just when you think Seattle's turned the corner — BAM! They go 3-of-12 on third down and give up more than 300 yards to an offense led by quarterback Matt Moore.

And yet I fully expect them to blow out Baltimore this Sunday.

Fantasy Impact: The Seahawks would be better off without Shaun Alexander.

Miami 22, Baltimore 16: That was undoubtedly the happiest any 1-13 team has ever been in the history of the world.

The funny thing is if Matt Stover makes that kick in OT, the story is about how the Dolphins kicked the ball out of bounds to set up the Ravens' tying drive in regulation. Instead it's about how Cleo Lemon hit Greg Camarillo for the most celebrated Dolphins score since the Dan Marino era.

Anyway, good for Miami. Now they can get drunk for the next four days, then wake up with a hangover and realize they have to go play New England.

Fantasy Impact: I'm telling you — Troy Smith. He gives this Ravens team a whole different vibe. With a cross-country trip to Seattle on Sunday (take the Hawks no matter what the line), Brian Billick might as well see what Smith can do before they're faced with the Matt Ryan dilemma in the draft.

(Of course, they're saying they are going to start Kyle Boller instead. If there's one fate I'd like to avoid as a sports fan, it's to ever have a team I like be coached by Billick.)

San Diego 51, Detroit 14: Last week, I lamented on how bad the loss of fullback Lorenzo Neal would hurt the Chargers. Then Tomlinson ran for 116 yards and 2 TD — in the first half. And when it was all said and done, they had 274 total yards on the ground and their most points since 1985.

It looks like the Chargers might jump over the AFC North champ to land the third seed, which would negate a San Diego/Jacksonville playoff game. Too bad. That would have been fun.

Fantasy Impact: It's barely a footnote on a disastrous day for Detroit, but Calvin Johnson had his first 100-yard game. Watch for his break-out next year.

Jacksonville 29, Pittsburgh 22: Can we really consider the Steelers a legitimate playoff contender any more? Right now, they're a tie-breaker away from waking up in Cleveland or San Diego on wild card weekend, wondering what the hell just happened.

Fantasy Impact: This ain't your weird uncle's Pittsburgh defense. Watch for Steven Jackson to have a big game on Thursday night.

Green Bay 33, St. Louis 14: The Packers have the best "all under 30 LB corps" in the NFL.

Fantasy Impact: Jackson still put up another monster game (24 rushes for 143 yards, a 6.0 average). How do you choose between him and Peterson in next year's fantasy draft? Why am I already worried about this?

Houston 31, Denver 13: Here's betting the Texans trade off Sage Rosenfels for a second-rounder in this year's draft. They're not going to want a quarterback controversy with Matt Schaub and Rosenfels' stock will never be higher.

Fantasy Impact: No matter who's at QB in 2008, Andre Johnson has to be one of the first five WRs off the board.

Tennessee 26, Kansas City 17: They are who we thought they were!

(Is there a more over-quoted line in sports right now? I think we've passed Jim Mora's "Playoffs?!?" rant. It's historic, really.)

Fantasy Impact: You have to feel for Tony Gonzalez. You just get the sense the end is near, and he's not going to go out on a high note.

San Francisco 20, Cincinnati 13: Always nice to have a Saturday night NFL game. A few notes:

1. Marshall Faulk was good in the booth. Deion Sanders was not. They should have switched out Steve Mariucci (on the sidelines) and Sanders.

2. Why did Shaun Hill look so much more comfortable in this offense than either Alex Smith or Trent Dilfer? Could it be we've (I've) been unfairly blaming this whole mess on offensive coordinator Jim Hostler when it was really just two QBs who didn't get it? Or has the arrival of Ted Tollner really made that large an impact?

3. 6:21 left in the fourth, 49ers up seven. Fourth-and-two from the Bengals' 24. Instead of kicking the field goal to make it a two-possession game, Mike Nolan goes for it. Hill's pass falls incomplete and the Bengals take over with a chance to tie with a TD. Cincinnati couldn't take advantage (good game by Mike Singletary's defense), but that was a really bad decision on Nolan's part. 49ers fans should be worried about that.

Fantasy Impact: I'm expecting big things from Frank Gore next year.

New Orleans 31, Arizona 21: The Saints are going to have a very long offseason thinking about how they wasted their season.

Fantasy Impact: I hope Reggie Bush is watching Aaron Stecker run and learning. The lesson: stop being such a fancy boy.

Tampa Bay 37, Atlanta 3: Another big win for the Bucs, another week of nobody talking about the Bucs.

(They ran the ball 48 times for 190 yards and controlled the clock for 42:59. There's really not much else to say.)

Also, why would any pro owner green light the hiring of a big-name college coach ever again? Seriously. How many times to we have to go through this? It doesn't work in basketball. It doesn't work in football. Rick Pitino. John Calipari. Nick Saban. Billy Donovan. Steve Spurrier. And now Bobby Petrino. It just doesn't work. Once college coaches reach the top of the mountain (or even just close to the top), they're ruined. No amount of money will make the pros as satisfying as what is really the best job in the world — college sports icon.

That's not to say no college coach should ever be given another shot at a pro job. Boston College coach Jeff Jagodzinski came from the Green Bay Packers, and I believe he will make a fine transition back to the pro game some day. Reggie Theus came to the Sacramento Kings from New Mexico State, but, as he put it at the time, he was a pro guy in a college job. That's cool. But the next time somebody thinks about Urban Meyer or Bob Stoops or Billy Gillespie, stop, rewind, delete that thought and change the channel.

Fantasy Impact: I'm thinking perhaps Atlanta should pick a quarterback in the draft. They only completed four passes on Sunday. They averaged 1.9 yards per pass. That's really bad.

Seth Doria is a writer based out of St. Louis. For the only daily column that mixes sports, politics, and entertainment news in one, visit The Left Calf.

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 11:49 AM | Comments (0)

December 17, 2007

The All-NBA On-Paper Team

During halftime of the TNT national game this week, Sir Charles and Kenny Smith were debating back and forth about who they thought were the four best teams in the Western Conference. For the most part, I actually agreed with the list that they came up with, even though it included Phoenix. Then I realized that it is the regular season, so they are in fact currently an elite team. At least until May. I can accept that.

After they came to a consensus (San Antonio, Dallas, Utah, Phoenix) one of them asked a legitimate question: how can Houston, with two perennial All-NBA players in Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady not even be a top four team in their conference? Every night, they run out two of top 10 players in the league, yet they have the same record as Portland.

I had never really looked at the Rockets that way. All I saw was a team that focused on slowing the game to a snail's pace while the rest of the league hit the accelerator. I saw a team with two superstars who couldn't complement each other any less. McGrady needs space to operate, Yao takes up too much of it. Yao likes to hit cutters from the post, McGrady does his best work with the ball, not without.

Still, on paper, they shouldn't lose. They have a dominant inside player, a dominant perimeter player, and a decent collection of role players. The Lakers used that formula to win three straight titles and infighting left another two or three on the table. These Rockets haven't advanced past the first round of the playoffs.

If intangibles and chemistry had nothing to do with winning, this team could have been a dynasty instead of a dud.

After looking at the roster from afar and deciding that, on paper, the Rockets are as good as it gets, I started thinking about who else looks great on paper, but I wouldn't want on my team. Then this happened. With further ado, I present to you the first (and most likely only) 2007-08 Al-NBA On-Paper Team.

Point Guard: Baron Davis, Golden State Warriors

Davis can score (22.8 points per game), pass (8.3 assists per game), and make plays defensively (2.5 steals per game). Who wouldn't want those numbers from the point guard position? Yet if you had to make a list, Davis wouldn't stand a chance to make the top five point guards in the league right now. If you count Gilbert Arenas and Allen Iverson as point guards, he falls somewhere near eighth, at best, by my calculations.

Davis' poor shot selection from a position the requires good decision-making at all times would make me very reluctant to hand the reins of a playoff team over to him. Combine that with the fact the he's pretty much a cancer in the locker room and has only played 60 games twice in the past six seasons and he is the perfect candidate for the on-paper team.

Shooting Guard: Vince Carter, New Jersey Nets

Half-man/Half-a-season embodies everything I do not want in a franchise player. Yet statistically, what's not to love? For his career, Carter averages over 24 points, 5 rebounds, and 4 assists per game. He's an 80% free throw shooter and shoots decent from three-point range.

It's his work ethic, durability, and ability to make players around him better that makes Carter a perfect two-guard on the on-paper team. He has never played in the conference finals, and never played on a 50-win team. After he forced his way out of Toronto, I thought that he might flourish next to Jason Kidd in New Jersey because he wouldn't have to be the man on that team, he could just go out and play. Instead, the Nets have regressed tremendously since acquiring him. His new contract makes him virtually untradeable, so Nets fans will just have to live with above-average numbers on an average team.

Small Forward: Tracy McGrady, Houston Rockets

Seven-time all-star. Two first-team All-NBA, three second-team All-NBA, and two third-team All-NBA selections. Twice the NBA's scoring champ. His numbers speak for themselves.

However, the only time killer instinct and Tracy McGrady have been mentioned in the same sentence is when his dog is involved. McGrady has been to the playoffs six times and has failed to advance out of the first round every time — although he did mention that it feels nice to make it to the second round in 2003. Maybe his demeanor is too laid back to be a superstar in this league, or maybe his expressionless face gives the impression that he's too laid back and he really is gritting it out. I don't know what the problem is. Frankly, I don't care. We shouldn't need to find excuses why someone with this much talent can't win a single playoff series. The list could be 1,000 reasons long. I don't have the energy to explore that list, so I'm sticking him on the on-paper team.

Power Forward: Jermaine O'Neal, Indiana Pacers

Like everyone on this list, O'Neal has put up some very impressive stats in the last decade. He's played on six consecutive all-star teams. He's led the league in blocks, been in the top 10 in rebounding twice, and is a legitimate low-post scorer. He even has a mid-range game to go with it.

Like everyone else on this list, however, he also comes with a lot of baggage. I don't care how many play-by-play guys tell me Jermaine O'Neal is a great guy, or how many photo ops he gets, he still seems like a bully to me. I won't even count the time he punched Turtle during the brawl at the Palace because at least he didn't run into the stands to do it. But in the last few seasons, I've seen O'Neal get into more shoving matches under the basket than any player since Bill Laimbeer. He wears his heart on his sleeve, but apparently only when he's disrespected. Until someone ruffles his feathers, he seems to go about every game with a certain level of indifference.

I'll take nearly 20 points and 10 rebounds per game from him, but I wouldn't be able to stand having to feel him out for the first quarter to see if he decided to bring it tonight or not. Because of that, I have no choice but to put him on the on-paper team.

Center: Ben Wallace, Chicago Bulls

I know Ben Wallace is good at what he is supposed to do; rebound and play defense. Believe me, I live in Detroit, I've seen Big Ben play hundreds of times, most of the time with great success. While he was here, he won four NBA Defensive Player of the Year awards and was on five straight NBA All-Defense first teams. He was a crowd favorite and the captain of the 2004 world champion Detroit Pistons.

Yet no player has frustrated me more as a fan than Wallace did in his six seasons with the Pistons. While he was here, I was in the vast minority of people that thought the he was wildly overrated. Once you get past the high energy and big hair, Wallace seems to do just as much harm to his team as good. He is a liability to his team on offense, so much so that if he is on your team you have to choose between playing four-on-five on offense and having your best defensive player on the floor or sitting your franchise player during crunch time and angering your fans. He butted heads with every coach he played for in Detroit, and is one for one so far in Chicago.

Every team would love to have a player who twice has led the league in rebounding and blocks in the same season, but on my team I don't want a guy with a bad attitude who only plays on one side of the floor.

He's more suited for something like this: the 2007-08 NBA All-NBA On-Paper Team.

Posted by Scott Shepherd at 11:02 AM | Comments (0)

December 16, 2007

The NFL's Best Offense Ever

As I write this, the 2007 New England Patriots are 13-0 and fresh off a 34-13 pounding of the NFL's top-ranked defense. The three-touchdown victory was hardly unusual, though: of New England's 13 games this season — all wins — only four have been decided by fewer than 21 points (vs. Cleveland, at Indianapolis, vs. Philadelphia, and at Baltimore). The Patriots certainly have a fine defense — they rank fourth in the league — but first and foremost, they are winning with offense.

Through Week 14, New England is averaging 425 yards per game, the best mark since the 2000 Rams (442.2). The Pats are scoring 38.7 points per game, the second-best mark in NFL history. They currently lead the league in both total offense and points scored, while quarterback Tom Brady and wide receiver Randy Moss are likely to break prominent single-season individual records (TD passes, passer rating, TD receptions). In short, this year's Patriots have a real shot at going down as the best offense the game has ever seen. As dominant as New England has been, however, they'll be up against some tough competition for the title of "best ever."

To find the best offenses in the history of professional football, I conducted preliminary research that led me to a list of 75 great single-season offenses (out of a possible 1,454 in the Modern Era of professional football), then analyzed each team, taking into account how many points they scored that season, how many rushing yards they gained, how many passing yards they gained, their total offensive yardage, the team's collective average yards per carry, the team's passer rating, the team's record that season, whether or not they won a championship, and where each of those statistics ranked in the league. Take this example, one of the 65 teams that didn't make my final list, the 1994 San Francisco 49ers:

505 points (31.6 per game, best in the NFL), 6,060 total yards (378.8 per game, second in the NFL), 1,897 rushing yards (118.6 per game, sixth), 3.9 yards per carry (seventh), 4,163 passing yards (260.2 per game, fourth), 111.4 passer rating (first), 13-3, Super Bowl champions.

I could do that 74 more times, but I'll spare you. A lot of research went into this project, and trimming this list to just 10 offenses was extremely difficult. If your favorite team didn't make the list, rest assured that I didn't "forget" them — there are some great offenses that you won't read about in this column.

I do want to address the most glaring absence, though: nowhere in my list of the 10 best offenses in history will you read the words "San Diego Chargers". Ten Charger teams made my initial list of 75 (1960, '61, '63, '79-'83, '85, 2006), more than any other club (the 49ers and Rams were the only others with more than six). After all, former Charger coaches Sid Gillman and Don Coryell were two of the greatest offensive minds in NFL history, and the Chargers have an impressive history of great offensive players, including (but certainly not limited to) Lance Alworth, Dan Fouts, and LaDainian Tomlinson. But as I narrowed the list — first from 75 to 45, then gradually down to 10 — San Diego kept dropping off the list. The only season that even came close was the 1982 Air Coryell team that averaged an astonishing 449.8 yards per game in the strike-shortened season. Ultimately, though, even that exceptional offense missed the list.

One final note before we get to the list itself: I restricted this exercise to the modern era, so you won't find any seasons before 1946, but the 1941 Chicago Bears certainly would have made the cut. That team led the NFL in points, total yards, rushing yards, rushing average, passing yards, and passer rating — every category I tracked — and followed its 10-1 regular season with a 37-9 victory in the NFL Championship Game. Those Bears averaged almost two more touchdowns per game than the second-highest scoring team, and their 36.0 average remains the third-highest in history.

With those apologies to the Bears and Chargers out of the way, here are the 10 best offenses in league history.

10. Miami Dolphins, 1972

359.7 yards per game (first in NFL), 27.5 points per game (first in NFL)

We don't normally think of the 1972 Dolphins as a great offensive team. They're known for the only undefeated season in NFL history — pending this year's Patriots, anyway — but not much else. This was a great, great offensive team. It featured five Hall of Famers in their primes: QB Bob Griese, FB Larry Csonka, WR Paul Warfield, and offensive linemen Jim Langer and Larry Little, plus Bob Kuechenberg, who has advanced to the semi-finals of this year's Hall of Fame selection process. Half of the offensive starters — Csonka, Warfield, Little, RB Mercury Morris, and OT Norm Evans — made the Pro Bowl, and backup QB Earl Morrall (who led the league with a 91.0 passer rating) was recognized as the best quarterback in the league by the Associated Press.

Despite such a wealth of talent and accolades, the 1972 Miami offense is underrated because it played smart and didn't always put up big stats. In addition to boasting the league's top-ranked offense, the '72 Fins also had the NFL's best defense (first in both yards allowed and points allowed), and while the Dolphin offense led the NFL in rushing (211.4 ypg), it ranked 16th in passing (148.3 ypg) despite Morrall's efficiency. Miami ran the ball not because it couldn't pass, but rather because it didn't have to pass. With a terrific defense and a pair of Pro Bowl running backs, the Dolphins were able to win their games without throwing much at all. And when they did pass, they did so more efficiently than any other team in the league.

9. Baltimore Colts, 1958

378.3 yards per game (first in NFL), 31.8 points per game (first in NFL)

Probably the most famous pre-Super Bowl team, this was the group that won The Greatest Game Ever Played, the 1958 NFL Championship Game. The Colts had plenty of established talent on offense, including Hall of Famers Lenny Moore, Raymond Berry, and Jim Parker, but the real star to emerge from Baltimore's 1958 championship season was a young quarterback named Johnny Unitas, who directed the game-winning drive in overtime and eventually went on to break almost every career passing record on the books.

The '58 Colts had a balanced offensive attack. Their running game, led by Alan Ameche (791 yards, 4.6 average) and Moore (598 yards, 7.3 average), ranked second in the NFL. The passing game was equally strong, ranking sixth in yardage and first in efficiency. Unitas had more TD passes and fewer interceptions than any other starting quarterback in the league. Berry led the league in both receptions and receiving touchdowns. Ameche gained more rushing yards than anyone except Cleveland's Jim Brown. Moore had more touchdowns and yards from scrimmage (combined rushing and receiving) than anyone but Brown. And Unitas, Moore, Berry, and Parker were all first-team all-pros, with Ameche and guard Art Spinney joining them on the second team.

8. San Francisco 49ers, 1998

425.0 yards per game (first in NFL), 29.9 points per game (third in NFL)

This team did not finish first or even second in the NFL in scoring, finishing behind both the 15-1 Minnesota Vikings (34.8 ppg) and the Super Bowl champion Denver Broncos (31.3 ppg), but leading the league in yardage with that kind of competition still merits recognition here. To put 425 yards per game in context, that is the third-highest mark ever in a 16-game season, and is equal to this year's Patriots, who are already being hailed by some as the best ever. The star of San Francisco's show was quarterback Steve Young, who led the NFL in touchdown passes (36) and posted a 101.1 passer rating. He was joined by RB Garrison Hearst, who ran for over 1,500 yards and averaged 5.1 yards per carry, as well as WRs Jerry Rice (1,157 yards, 9 TD) and Terrell Owens (1,097 yards, 14 TD).

The Niners led the league in both rushing yards and average, as Young's 454 yards on the ground, combined with a career year from Hearst, powered them past Terrell Davis and the Broncos. San Francisco finished second in passing yardage and passer rating, trailing only Randall Cunningham and the Vikings. Young, Hearst, Rice, and offensive lineman Kevin Gogan all made the Pro Bowl.

7. Minnesota Vikings, 1998

391.5 yards per game (second in NFL), 34.8 points per game (first in NFL)

I'll save you the suspense: the '98 Broncos didn't make the top 10. A terrific offense? Undoubtedly. But not quite terrific enough to be counted among the Top 10. The '98 Vikings are another story. Besides a renaissance season from Randall Cunningham, who led the NFL with a 106.0 passer rating, the Minnesota offense boasted Pro Bowlers Robert Smith, Cris Carter, Randy Moss, Jeff Christy, Randall McDaniel, and Todd Steussie. Seven of the 11 offensive starters made the Pro Bowl, and they deserved it. Cunningham, Moss, McDaniel, Christy, and Steussie were all named to the AP all-pro team.

This was not a great running team. It ranked 11th in rushing yards and fifth in yards per carry, which is nothing to sneeze at, but hardly historic. Where this team did make history was through the air. Minnesota led the league in both passing yards and passer rating, and Moss shattered the rookie record for receiving touchdowns (17). Moss and Carter finished first and fourth, respectively, in receiving touchdowns, and it's all the scoring that really set this Viking team apart. 34.8 points per game — think about that for a minute — represents the most ever in a 16-game season. This year's Patriots, however, need only 54 points in their last three games to break Minnesota's single-season record for points scored (556).

6. Washington Redskins, 1983

383.7 yards per game (third in NFL), 33.8 points per game (first in NFL)

This is the only team on the list not to finish first or second in yards per game. It made up for that by setting an NFL scoring record that stood for 15 years, finally falling in 1998. Unlike the '98 Vikings, though, this was not a flashy passing team. In fact, in 1983 Washington ran more than any other team in the league. This was a tough-and-dirty offense, led by its offensive line, the Hogs. Center Jeff Bostic, guard Russ Grimm, and tackle Joe Jacoby all made the Pro Bowl. The other two spots were manned by George Starke and Mark May. The power running was provided by John Riggins (1,347 yards), who broke the single-season touchdown mark held by O.J. Simpson.

Washington ranked third in rushing yards, with Riggins' power game complemented by speedy Joe Washington (772 yards, 5.3 average). The passing offense ranked seventh in yards, but first in efficiency. This team didn't pass a lot — they were 19th in attempts — but they were awfully good at it. Quarterback Joe Theismann was named NFL MVP, Joe Washington added 454 yards and 6 TDs as a receiver, wideout Charlie Brown made the Pro Bowl, and a talented young player named Art Monk tallied 746 receiving yards. Additionally, this team went 14-2, with both losses coming by a single point, before an upset loss to the Raiders in Super Bowl XXVIII.

5. Miami Dolphins, 1984

433.5 yards per game (first in NFL), 32.1 points per game (first in NFL)

Balanced offenses tend to be the best, and in compiling this list I looked for teams that could run and pass effectively. But it's also impossible not to be impressed by a team so good at passing that it could more or less ignore the run. The 1984 Dolphins were such a team. They averaged 313.6 passing yards per game, the second-highest mark ever in a 16-game season. Dan Marino led the league in passing attempts (564), completions (362), yards (5084), touchdowns (48), and passer rating (108.9). The running game, in contrast, was neither prolific (120 ypg, 16th in the NFL) nor efficient (4.0 average, also 16th). The Dolphins lived and died with the pass, and more often than not, they lived, going 14-2 en route to a Super Bowl appearance.

The team was represented in the Pro Bowl by Marino, two of his offensive linemen (including Hall of Famer Dwight Stephenson), and both starting wide receivers, Mark Clayton and Mark Duper. Without a great defense or an impressive running game, the Dolphins advanced to the Super Bowl almost exclusively on Marino's right arm. In the AFC Championship Game, Marino threw for 421 yards and 4 TDs in a 45-28 victory. Even this year's Patriots probably won't put up 45 in the AFC Championship Game.

4. Los Angeles Rams, 1951

450.8 yards per game (first in NFL), 32.7 points per game (first in NFL)

In the 1950s, the Browns and Rams redefined offensive football in the NFL. The Rams' habit of rotating quarterbacks never really caught on, but that might be because few other teams have had two Hall of Fame QBs on the roster simultaneously. In 1951, Ram QB Bob Waterfield led the NFL in passer rating, while Ram QB Norm Van Brocklin finished second in the same category. The '51 Rams were a terrific passing team, leading the league in both yards and rating, but they were not exclusively about throwing the ball. The team also featured the Bull Elephant backfield: Deacon Dan Towler (854 rushing yards, 6.8 average), Dick Hoerner (569 yards, 6.1 average), and Tank Younger (223 yards, 6.2 average). The three fullbacks were often on the field together, and the Rams would send two of the 225-pound runners to block for the third. Defenses couldn't figure out how to stop them.

As if all those weapons weren't enough — two Hall of Fame QBs and three runners averaging over six yards per carry — the team also had two Hall of Fame receivers, Tom Fears and Crazylegs Hirsch. In '51, Hirsch led the NFL in receptions, receiving yards, receiving touchdowns, yards per reception, longest reception, and scoring. Waterfield, Van Brocklin, Towler, Younger, and Hirsch all made the Pro Bowl. The Rams ranked third in rushing yards and first in passing yards, setting a record for yards per game that has stood for over 50 years and might never be broken. They finished their historic season by winning the NFL Championship.

3. Houston Oilers, 1961

449.1 yards per game (first in AFL), 36.6 points per game (first in AFL)

The American Football League had a reputation as an all-offense, no-defense league in which passing statistics needed to be taken not just with a grain of salt, but a whole shaker. Whether you believe that or not — and personally, I feel it's been exaggerated — the 1961 Houston Oilers deserve to be recognized for their amazing accomplishments on offense. That team led both major professional football leagues (the NFL and AFL) in points, yards, passing yards, and passer rating. In fact, these Oilers rank third all-time in yards per game and second all-time in points per game. No other team in history is top-three all-time in both categories, and these all-time statistics are coming from a pool of almost 1,500 teams. Top-three is about 1/5 of a percent. The '61 Oilers are in the 99.8% percentile in both of the most important offensive statistics.

The '61 Oilers won their last ten games, the tenth being the AFL Championship Game. They won with a decent running game (135.4 ypg, eighth-best in pro football) led by all-AFL RB Billy Cannon, who led the league in both rushing yards (948) and average (4.7), adding 586 yards and 9 TDs as a receiver. Cannon's success on the ground notwithstanding, it was in the passing game that Houston really made its mark. Quarterback George Blanda, who was named AFL MVP, led the AFL in passing yards (3,330) and set a single-season record for passing TDs (36) that wasn't broken until 1984 (by Dan Marino's Dolphins, summarized above). As if Blanda leading the league in passing and Cannon leading in rushing weren't enough, wide receiver Charley Hennigan led the pros in receiving yardage (1,746), setting a record for receiving yards per game (124.7) that still stands almost 50 years later.

Were these amazing accomplishments possible only because the AFL was loaded with offensive talent while all the good defensive players were in the rival NFL? Surely it played a role. But I examined 11 AFL teams for this project, and the '61 Oilers were the only one that I even considered for this Top 10 list. This team holds the AFL's all-time records for points per game, yards per game, and passing yards per game. The 1961 Houston Oilers were clearly and indisputably the best offensive team in AFL history, and even if the AFL was geared toward offense, that earns a top-three ranking here.

2. St. Louis Rams, 1999-2001

1999: 400.8 yards per game (first in NFL), 32.9 points per game (first in NFL)
2000: 442.2 yards per game (first in NFL), 33.8 points per game (first in NFL)
2001: 418.1 yards per game (first in NFL), 31.4 points per game (first in NFL)

Is it unfair to group these three seasons together? Maybe, but these three Ram teams were essentially the same, and they all belong on this list, but it would be awfully boring to read three separate summaries about them. In all three seasons, the Rams topped the league in both yards and points. Only 12 teams in history have averaged over 400 yards and 30 points per game (though this year's Patriots will almost certainly be the 13th) and fully 1/4 of that list is in this group. All three seasons, the Rams led the NFL in both passing yards and passer rating, and in all three seasons, they ranked either first or second in yards per carry. These Rams weren't just prolific, they were deadly efficient.

The star of the show was RB Marshall Faulk, who averaged — again, this is a three-year average — 1374 rushing yards, an incredible 5.4 yards per carry, 84 catches, 881 receiving yards, 2255 yards from scrimmage, and 20 TDs. The only player with a better three-year rushing average (min. 500 att.) is Jim Brown (1958-60 and 1963-65). The only RB with more receptions in a three-year period is Larry Centers (1994-96 and 1995-97). No RB has ever averaged more receiving yards. No player at any position has ever averaged more combined rushing and receiving yards. And Faulk's 20 TDs per year ranked second in history at the time (Emmitt Smith, 1994-96).

Faulk was first-team all-pro in each of these three seasons, and he was named NFL MVP in 2000. In 1999 and 2001, the league MVP was his quarterback, Kurt Warner. In addition to Faulk, Warner's receivers included Isaac Bruce and Torry Holt. A fine offensive line was led by left tackle Orlando Pace, and mad scientist Mike Martz designed the whole operation. St. Louis reached the Super Bowl in both '99 and '01, winning in 1999.

1. Los Angeles Rams, 1950

436.7 yards per game (first in NFL), 38.8 points per game (first in NFL)

Their average of 436.7 yards per game is the fifth-best all-time. Their 38.8 points per game is a record that has stood for 56 years. If the 2007 New England Patriots do go down as the best offense ever, this is the team whose spot they will take. We've already discussed the '51 Rams, and this team's personnel was effectively the same: Waterfield and Van Brocklin at quarterback; the Bull Elephant backfield complemented by Mr. Outside, Glenn Davis; Fears and Hirsch playing end. Waterfield, Van Brocklin, Hoerner, Davis, and Fears all made the Pro Bowl. Especially impressive was Fears, who set single-game and single-season records for receptions and posted the second-most receiving yards in league history. His single-game receptions record (18) stood for almost 50 years, and his 84 catches led the league by 62% (the next-best total was 52).

So prolific was the 1950 Rams' passing game — their record for passing yards per game (294.1) stood for more than 30 years — that Fears, Hirsch, and Davis all ranked among the NFL's top 10 in both receptions and receiving yards. Van Brocklin led the NFL in passer rating and Waterfield was recognized as an all-pro, as were both offensive tackles. This was not the dominant running team that the 1951 Rams would become, but it was perhaps the best passing offense ever, and with by far the most points per game of any NFL team in the modern era (the '98 Vikings are next at 34.8), they currently stand as the best offense in the history of professional football.

They say that defense wins championships. The 10 (well, okay, 12 because of the 1999-2001 Rams) teams I listed here had a regular-season winning percentage of .806 (which comes out to 13-3 in a 16-game season). Nine of them reached the Super Bowl (or equivalent league championship game before 1966), and five of them won their league's championship. As this year's Patriots continue to prove, offense may win some championships, too.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 11:01 AM | Comments (0)

Clemens and Steroids: We Called It

Editor's note: This column was originally published on June 4, 2007, over six months before Roger Clemens was named in the Mitchell Report. We are re-posting it because of its timely relevance in light of recent events.

As I write this, Barry Bonds has 746 career home runs. Barring injury, he will break Henry Aaron's all-time record for major league home runs by the end of July, maybe even June. I wrote a column two months ago about Hank Aaron, Barry Bonds, steroids, and the chase for 756 home runs. I don't intend to rehash that in this space.

It is worth noting that dozens — probably hundreds — of Major League Baseball players have used performance-enhancing drugs and hormones. No one else has accomplished what Bonds has. He's a cheater, and that carries a disgrace that no accomplishment can make up for, but regardless of the unsavory ways Bonds has sustained — and even improved — his performance as he has gotten older, his level of play is spectacular and does merit respect.

Only two names come to mind as reasonable parallels for Bonds and his amazing late-career performance. One is Aaron, who hit 245 homers after he turned 35. The other is Roger Clemens.

The Aaron comparisons are obvious as Bonds nears the career home run record, but the Clemens comparison may be more interesting, because Clemens — like Bonds — played during the steroid era. This season, Bonds is among the best players in either league, with an OPS of around 1.100. Clemens, who signed with the Yankees just under a month ago, is struggling in the minors. But Clemens, like Bonds, has had his best seasons much later than one would expect.

Clemens made his major league debut in 1984 and compiled an impressive 9-4 record. After a good but not earth-shattering 1985 season, Clemens reeled off seven straight seasons with 17 wins or more, including three Cy Young seasons. In 1993, Clemens had the first losing season of his career, 11-14. His ERA was above 4.00 for the first time since his rookie season in '84. In 1994, Clemens failed to win 10 games for the first time since his second season. The next year, his ERA was over 4.00 again. After a 10-13 1996, the Red Sox let Roger Clemens go. He was a 34-year-old power pitcher who had used himself up early.

The Toronto Blue Jays took a chance on Clemens, and he rewarded them with a Cy Young season in 1997: 21-7, 2.05 ERA, a 1.03 WHIP that was his best in over a decade, and a career-high 292 strikeouts. Clemens repeated as AL Cy Young winner the next season, then left Toronto for the Yankees. By this time Clemens was 36.

During his five seasons in New York, Clemens never recorded an ERA under 3.50 or a WHIP under 1.20. He did have a fantastic 2001 season, finishing 20-3, throwing over 200 strikeouts, and winning his sixth Cy Young Award. What was most remarkable about Clemens' time with the Yankees was that he seemed to improve during his time there. Comparing his last two years in New York to his first two, Clemens had more wins, fewer losses, a better ERA, and more strikeouts. He was a better pitcher in 2003 than he was in 1999. For that matter, Clemens was a better pitcher in 2003, at age 40, than he had been at age 30.

Greg Maddux, the best pitcher of the 1990s, has always had phenomenal control, and his sustained success as he got older was impressive, but not shocking. Clemens is a power pitcher. His control is fine, but Clemens beat hitters with power, not precision. Such players tend to wear down quickly. Many power pitchers lose their best stuff before their mid-30s. Clemens has had some of his best seasons after he turned 35.

Clemens won three Cy Young Awards before he turned 29. He already had a record of 134-61, with a 2.85 ERA and 1,665 strikeouts. From 1993-96, Clemens went 40-39 with a 3.77 ERA and averaged 179 strikeouts per year. In the next seven seasons, with Toronto and New York, Clemens rebounded: 118-49, 3.44 ERA, 216 strikeouts per year, and three more Cy Youngs.

Following the 2003 season, Clemens announced his retirement, but he couldn't stay away, and joined the Houston Astros for the 2004 campaign. Now 41-years-old, Clemens went 18-4, kept his ERA under 3.00 for the first time since he was 34, and threw over 200 strikeouts. He was named the National League's Cy Young Award winner. The next season, Houston's weak offense limited Clemens to a 13-8 record, but he posted a career-best 1.87 ERA. In 2006, Clemens made fewer than 20 appearances for the first time in over 20 years, but he was effective when he played, with a sterling 2.30 ERA. During his three seasons in Houston, Clemens was 38-18, with a 2.40 ERA.

In the 10 years since he turned 34, Clemens has won four Cy Young Awards — more than any other major league pitcher except Randy Johnson, who also has four. Pedro Martinez has three. Tom Glavine has one. Maddux doesn't have any. Curt Schilling doesn't have any.

In the 10 years since he turned 34, Clemens has won 156 games. His .700 winning percentage (156-67) is better than the .634 record (192-111) he posted with Boston during the years when most pitchers are in their primes.

Roger Clemens has performed almost as remarkably in the later stages of his career as Bonds has. He won a Cy Young Award after he turned 40. He had the lowest ERA of his career at 42. Bonds, of course, has been implicated in the BALCO Scandal, and while he has never tested positive for steroids, exhaustive research indicates beyond any reasonable doubt that Bonds used performance-enhancing drugs. Clemens, less publicly, has been implicated in the Jason Grimsley case. Like Bonds, he has never tested positive for steroids.

Regardless of whether they have used anabolic steroids, human growth hormone, or anything else, the things Bonds and Clemens have accomplished are incredible, even more so because they were achieved at an age when most players are in decline. Many hitters use steroids. They don't all hit 700 home runs. Many pitchers take steroids. They don't all win seven Cy Youngs.

In the coming weeks, Barry Bonds will break Aaron's career home run record, and you'll hear a lot about the allegations that he has used steroids. In the coming weeks, Roger Clemens will probably return to the major leagues and try to help the Yankees reach the playoffs. You probably won't often hear his name connected with steroids. But there are compelling reasons to believe that Barry Bonds is not the only future Hall of Famer whose hat size has increased since he turned 30. This is the Steroid Era, and there isn't a player in the game who we know is clean. It's a tough time to be a baseball fan, and it's a discouraging time to look at the world of sports for heroes.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 11:00 AM | Comments (3)

December 15, 2007

Lenny Dykstra, From 'Nails' to Nailed

I was a huge Lenny Dysktra fan growing up in Jersey. Huge. Tried to bat like him: in that long, stretched, left-handed stance, even though I was right-handed. Dressed up like him for Halloween, with a cheek full of Big League Chew. Checked his awful book "Nails" out of the library several times, each time hoping my parents wouldn't realize it had more obscenities than verbs; seriously, the thing read like a season of baseball recalled by a surfer-dude version of Andrew Dice Clay.

I was even late to school one morning because I thought Dykstra was going to be interviewed on "Imus in the Morning," only to discover, to my dismay, that it was a lame bit with a Lenny impersonator.

I loved the way he played; that hard-nosed, take-no-crap style of baseball that made you believe he would outwork any player in the Majors, even if it meant breaking his face to do it. He was one of the grunts on those New York Mets teams in the 1980s that should have been a dynasty, had it not been for the L.A. Dodgers and the Mets' own imploding egos. And yeah, a little piece of me died when he and Roger McDowell were traded for Juan Samuel, who was to centerfield what Jessica Simpson is to light-hearted comedy. Naturally, Dykstra became a star with the Phillies and helped that moribund franchise to its World Series defeat against Toronto in 1993.

Okay, maybe not completely naturally. Dykstra was one of the 80-some-odd names listed in the pages of George Mitchell's witch hunt, allegedly admitting to steroid use in an interview with Major League Baseball officials. According to ESPN's interpretation of the Mitchell Report, Dykstra used steroids in order to "keep his weight up" and because they eliminated the need to work out during the offseason.

(An aside on Mitchell: I thought one of the most amazing moments of Thursday's marathon of coverage came at the end of the former Senator's press conference. One of the reporters asked him about his conflict of interest in serving as a "director" for the Boston Red Sox while persecuting dozens of MLB players, including many from the New York Yankees. Mitchell replied with an eloquent tale about being criticized as an American and a Catholic when he helped bring peace to Northern Ireland; how he has never heard those criticisms since and how he should be judged by the quality of his work. Like I said, it was an amazing moment — just when you thought the Yankees/Red Sox rivalry couldn't be blown further out of proportion, some guy relates it back to the conflict in Northern Ireland ... sheesh.)

Like many of the players in the report, Dykstra had been dogged by rumors about his steroid use for years. It may have had something to do with the fact that one year he had the frame of a 12-year-old boy, and then suddenly he looked like Kurt Angle in a ball cap. Or perhaps that his slugging percentage jumped by nearly 80 points from 1992 to 1993, a season in which he finished second in the MVP voting to (wait for it) some guy named Barry Bonds.

Now, he's listed in the New Testament of Sports Morality, the Mitchell Report. Unless he's willing to take legal action to clear his name, that name will now be forever linked in an official capacity with the greatest scandal in modern baseball history.

Never mind that Dykstra allegedly used the stuff at a time when Major League Baseball, its players' association, and its owners had their heads buried so far in the sand they could smell sulfur from the Earth's core. Never mind he never failed a drug test because there wasn't a drug test to take. I said it before, and I'll say it again: how am I supposed to be outraged about a player who took steroids when baseball wasn't outraged that he might have been taking them?

When I see a player like Dykstra go from an average of six home runs over a four-year period to 19 in a single season, my crap detector goes off. Just like it did when Todd Hundley averaged 12 home runs for four seasons before he hit 71 from 1996-97. Just like it did with McGwire and Sosa; just like it did with Bonds.

If the Mitchell Report taught us anything — besides the fact that the American appetite for tabloid voyeurism and scandalous innuendo is utterly insatiable, no matter the subject — it's that "The Steroid Era" was all encompassing. Pitchers, catchers, fielders. Black, white, Latino. Stars, scrubs, and Ricky Bones.

And Lenny Dykstra, according to the evidence. I'm not the only fan out there who scanned the list and saw the name of one of his favorite players — I'm sure yesterday was a real bitch for Fernando Vina's fan. But I wonder how many of us really give a damn about it. For many of us, the Mitchell report was a confirmation of fears or assumptions. For many of us, steroids are something we've come to terms with, both within the careers of our "heroes" and with baseball's drug culture of the last 15 years.

In the end, this report will be remembered for the names, not the recommendations for wholesale changes to baseball's drug testing policy. Because we care about the "who" — not the "why," not the "how." As I wrote in a 2005 column:

"This season, we've seen what seemed to be impossible a few years ago: Two Major League players, and dozens of minor leaguers, being publicly identified as steroid abusers and suffering suspensions for their actions. Yet none of this seems to have stoked the fires of discontent we saw during [Jose] Canseco's book fallout and Congress's hearings on baseball.

Why hasn't it? Ask Jorge Piedra and Alex Sanchez. Those were the two players who have been suspended thus far by Major League Baseball for testing positive for steroids. Most baseball fans wouldn't know these guys if they ran up to them and punched them in the nuts. They're like the really tiny fish that the small fish in the pond eat.

That doesn't mean they aren't cheaters; that they aren't, in the minds of thousands of fans, sullying the reputation of baseball through their nefarious actions.

It just means they aren't famous cheaters. And judging from the reaction to their suspensions, and the reaction of fans in that recent poll, the steroid scandal in baseball is less about the sanctity of the game and much, much more about what famous people are doing to their bodies.

Who knew Barry Bonds had so much in common with Lindsey Lohan's breasts?"

Greg Wyshynski is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 11:06 AM | Comments (0)

December 14, 2007

'Roid Rage: Fallout From Mitchell Report

From San Francisco to Santo Domingo, from St. Paul to Sapporo, keyboards, classrooms, barrooms, and water coolers are abuzz with the news that the names of 80-odd major league players, among them Eric Gagne, Andy Pettitte, Roger Clemens, and Kevin Brown, were mentioned in the report on performance-enhancing drug usage filed by (former) Senator George Mitchell.

Many were quick to point out that players such as Gagne, Jose Guillen, and Miguel Tejada found new teams right before the release of the report. A few columnists asked why media had not scrutinized Clemens with the same suspicion of his 40-something feats as Bonds (to which some message board posters replied: Bonds perjured himself before a grand jury, Clemens was not subpoenaed). After all the sturm und drang, several realties emerge. There will be no drop in attendance due to the cloud of suspicion, or bitterness toward past cheaters.

Washington, which just signed Mitchell-mentioned catcher Paul LoDuca, moves into a new ballpark in April. Boston, where Brendan Donnelly and Mo Vaughn used to play, is defending a world championship. All those former Yankees and Mets named? New York tickets will still be tough to acquire when the better teams visit. In the long haul, Americans demand no more integrity from the national pastime than they do their political leadership or their mayors (a few of whom have been re-elected amidst scandals).

In addition, Commissioner Bud Selig, who brushed off a reporter's question yesterday about Mitchell's statement that there was enough blame to spread equally amongst owners, GMs, players, and the commissioner's office, is not claiming accountability. The Mark McGwire/Sammy Sosa chase of Roger Maris' single-season home run mark filled seats. So did Barry Bonds' assault on McGwire's new standard. The owners will not punish their non-commissioner, a former Brewers proprietor, for enabling the runaway statistics and health risks that resulted from the use of anabolic steroids and HGH. "The Rocket" may have lost some of his red glare in the public eye, but there will be no asterisks placed next to his last three Cy Young awards, or his strikeouts since 1998.

Who would have ever thought a document heavy enough to be used as a doorstop (or a bicep curl) would make Barry Bonds, Jose Canseco, Dan Duquette, and the late Ken Caminiti look better? Duquettte, the former Red Sox GM, was right — Clemens was damaged goods when the Sox let him go. He was revived by the wonders of science. The Mitchell Report isn't going to reinstate Hank Aaron as the all-time home run king, however.

Northern fans will flock to spring training in two months. Tigers fans will buy tickets to see whether Dontrelle Willis and Miguel Cabrera can bring them a pennant. Dodger faithful will welcome center fielder Andruw Jones. L.A.'s Angels are not pumped by steroids, but by the acquisitions of CF Torii Hunter and P Jon Garland. If one doubts this, when was the last time we heard basketball announcers or fans during this current NBA season express concern about "the integrity of the game" in the wake of the Tim Donaghy referee scandal? Fan memories are short, and so are those of sports talk hosts and journalists.

Much has been made of the fact that the presence of names such as Clemens, Pettitte, Rondell White, Chuck Knoblauch, Mike Stanton, and Kevin Brown cast aspersions and illegitimacy on the late-1990s and early-2000s Yankee juggernaut. That the hated Bronx Bombers had an unfair advantage on the rest of the baseball world, particularly on the mound. Yet there are plenty of Orioles listed by the Mitchell Report, and performance-enhancing drugs didn't ensure them a Word Series berth. The Mets are pretty well-represented, too.

An interesting aspect of the list (which is all 99% percent of us have seen from the report — even the Commish admitted he hasn't had time to read it all) is the number of names who bowed out of the game at relatively-young ages due to nagging injuries — Todd Hundley, Andy Pettitte (recently unretired), Mo Vaughn, Denny Neagle, Chuck Knoblauch (who lost his ability to throw accurately from second to first), Kent Mercker, Jose Canseco, John Rocker, Rick Ankiel (lost the ability to throw accurately from the pitcher's mound), and Ken Caminiti. While we cannot know if steroid or HGH usage led to tendon damage in each or any of the cases, quite a few of the aforementioned experienced sudden statistical dives.

For sure, the era of 1996-2003 will be clouded. Perhaps a few players who were shoo-in Hall of Famers before they used will be kept out of Cooperstown when eligible. Neither of those things will affect baseball ticket sales or TV revenue in 2008.

Mitchell and Selig had one thing right: baseball has put this chapter behind itself. That was the whole point of having an investigation and producing a report, to at once pat one's self on the back and move forward. Not so much to bury Barry, but to silence critics. Not so much to save lives, but fans. Guess what club will probably experience the largest dip in attendance?

The San Francisco Giants, because drawing card Bonds is no longer on the roster.

Posted by Bijan C. Bayne at 12:07 PM | Comments (0)

Ten Bowlfuls of Entertainment

With the annual coronation of the land's best collegiate athlete behind us (congrats, Tim Tebow), the only thing standing between the collective college faithful and that January 7th BCS Championship Game are the 30-something "other" bowls that get played between now and then.

Surely, every self-respecting fan out there knows all that needs to be known about the five BCS bowls (Rose, Sugar, Fiesta, Orange, and the aforementioned championship showdown). It's those other 27 that have everyone outside of the NFL scouts and the participants' alma-maters wondering what to watch for.

If you're anything like me, my wife will live with my watching about 10 virtually meaningless college bowl games ... anything beyond that gets me dangerously close to receiving laundry duty or, worse, diaper-changing duty. So, as a public service announcement, I've sifted through the bowl schedule and have highlighted the 10 most intriguing components from those non-BCS games to help tune your holiday football-watching schedule.

I've listed these games sequentially in an effort to limit confusion. Enjoy!

1. New Orleans Bowl (Dec. 21), Florida Atlantic vs. Memphis

Combined, these two teams averaged nearly 60 points per game. The duo also gave up nearly 65 per, making this matchup a potential shootout of epic proportions. Add to the drama the fact that this game will be FAU's inaugural postseason appearance (the football team has only been in existence since 2001) and the sub-plot of Memphis overcoming the tragic murder of one of its players and you have the makings of an exciting, dramatic, and emotional postseason contest between two evenly-matched seven-win teams.

What to Watch For: Points, and lots of them. Neither team has a superstar caliber prospect, but this is especially true for the defenses, so buckle up and enjoy TD after glorious TD all afternoon long.

Prediction: Memphis 55, FAU 49 (3 OT)

2. Motor City Bowl (Dec. 26), Purdue vs. Central Michigan

If you haven't had the good fortune of watching Central Michigan's sophomore QB Dan LeFevour, you won't want to miss this contest. LeFevour passed for over 3,300 yards in '07 and ran for another 1,000, leading the Chippewas in both categories. He also managed to haul in a TD reception in 2007, further solidifying his status as a legit big-timer in college football. Purdue employs their usual combination of an aggressive offensive attack with timely running, making for the potential of lots of points and a real see-saw type of contest. Purdue's early season success (5-0, 45.4 ppg in first five games) has been buoyed with losses in five of their closing seven games, and Central Michigan can put points on the board in bunches, so this game may wind up being far more competitive than many think.

What to Watch For: DeFevour is worth much more than the price of admission and is a future NFL QB to be sure. If you want to catch him, this is the game, 'cause Central Michigan won't be much of a television draw anytime soon and the soph QB won't be a secret on the national stage after this game.

Prediction: Central Michigan 41, Purdue 31

3. Holiday Bowl (Dec. 27), Arizona State vs. Texas

For my money, this contest has more intrigue than all the BCS games with the exception of that national title tilt. Two highly ranked teams, both suffering through excruciating late season losses and both wishing they were playing in a higher profile bowl game. Each team loves to run, but both have premier run defenses (Arizona State was 13th in the nation against the run, UT was number 11). Neither showcases an especially stout pass defense and the two starting quarterbacks (Rudy Carpenter and Colt McCoy) have big arms and wide-open offensive schemes. Add to that the beautiful weather of southern California, and this may well be the most entertaining game on the docket.

What to Watch For: Longhorn runner Jamaal Charles rushed for nearly 1,500 yards at over six yards per carry ... and believe me when I tell you opponents saw him coming. Arizona has tons of team speed on defense, so this matchup bears watching as it may well make the difference in the final outcome.

Prediction: Texas 33, Arizona 31

4. Meineke Bowl (Dec. 29), Connecticut vs. Wake Forest

I'm going to be honest here; this game is probably going to be a dog. Neither team scores a particularly startling amount of points and both have quality defenses. Respectively, UConn and Wake had passers who totaled 14 and 12 TDs through the air. The reason I am including this particular game on this particular list is simple: UConn shut out my beloved Maine Black Bears in week two of the season, and Wake Forest is going to shut them out in a bowl game, so, to me, that will be justice served and I want as many people to witness this as possible.

What to Watch For: Both kickers (UConn's Tony Ciaravino and Wake's Sam Swank) are solid, having each connected on field goals longer than 50 yards in 2007. Seriously, that's all I got.

Prediction: Wake Forest 16, UConn 0

5. Liberty Bowl (Dec. 29), Mississippi State vs. Central Florida

Okay, this is the game I truly recommend you watching on Dec. 29th. UCF's Kevin Smith rushed for a ridiculous 2,448 yards in '07, totaling 29 TDs. Read those stats again. Southern Miss put up a paltry 22.4 points per contest in 2007, but the team also sported a top-30 defense. UCF is probably the better team, but this matchup should help answer the age-old question of which is more valuable, offense or defense.

What to Watch For: Smith is a surprisingly big back (6-1, 211 lbs), which pretty much assures that he won't be beaten into submission by the powerful Bulldog defense. Furthermore, Mississippi State was not in the top 50 in terms of run defense, as they are much more able in defending the pass (10th in the nation) — not a good sign when you're facing the nation's top runner.

Prediction: UCF 34, Mississippi State 17

6. Independence Bowl (Dec. 30), Colorado vs. Alabama

This game should be called the "Your Guess is as Good as Mine Bowl." Both teams looked like world beaters for considerable portions of the season (Alabama upset Arkansas and Ole Miss and smacked Tennessee; Colorado shocked the world by beating Oklahoma, nearly knocked off Kansas, and took down a solid Texas Tech squad). Both teams also looked like total dogs for considerable parts of the season ('Bama folded to the tune of four straight losses to end the season, including a train-wreck against Louisiana-Monroe; Colorado squeaked by Colorado State, and choked one up against a 3-9 Iowa State). Both QBs are talented, but both throw far too many picks. If both teams show up and play their games, this should be a very entertaining and competitive dual, but there is the potential that one team will mail it in, or worse, both could stink up the field.

What to Watch For: Fans should know what to expect from this game relatively early on; if Colorado scores early and often, expect the Tide to roll. While this may be counter-intuitive, the Buffaloes were leading 14-0 against Arizona State, 10-0 versus Missouri, and 21-0 at Iowa State before losing those critical games. Conversely, in two of their biggest wins of the season, CU was down 24-10 to Oklahoma and 35-24 against Nebraska.

Prediction: Alabama 24, Colorado 20

7. Humanitarian Bowl (Dec. 31), Fresno State vs. Georgia Tech

Ah, an old-fashioned strength versus strength showdown, just like the old days. Fresno State features a balanced and efficient offense that put up 400 yards and 32 points a contest in 2007 en route to an 8-4 record. Georgia Tech employs a power-running game, but butters its bread with an aggressive, effective defensive scheme that keeps opponents guessing and genuinely confused. The best way to battle a blitz-happy, fast-moving defense? Balance on offense. The most effective way to combat an efficient, balanced offensive attack? Changing defensive looks and varying blitzes and coverage schemes. Therein lies the twist...

What to Watch For: Georgia Tech's 11th-ranked defense should be playing inspired in the wake of losing coach Chan Gailey and with a perceivable feeling that their offense let them down this season. Fresno State also should be playing inspired football, feeling slighted as two of their losses came in very close games against nationally-ranked Texas A&M and undefeated Hawaii and after posting dominating wins against K-State, San Jose State, and Utah Sate.

Prediction: Georgia Tech 16, Fresno State 12

8. Chick-Fil-A Bowl (Dec. 31), Clemson vs. Auburn

After watching the Humanitarian Bowl on the afternoon of the 31st, spend your evening catching this contest between two teams that are all too familiar with one another. This will be the 46th matchup between the two Tigers, and few have been more intriguing. Auburn features the eighth-ranked defense in the land and surrenders less than 20 points per contest. Clemson scores nearly 35 per and also has the sixth-best defense in the nation. On paper, Auburn looks like a solid underdog (I suppose that would be under-"cat" in this case), but their passing defense should be able to hold the unsung Cullen Harper in check, evening the playing field.

What to Watch For: It may be a cliché, but whichever team wins the turnover battle will win this game. Simply put, if Clemson turns the ball over, Auburn will be able to offset their substantially weaker offense with only having to overcome short fields, and if Auburn can't hold onto the ball, they will get behind and they have no shot if they have to come from behind.

Prediction: Clemson 33, Auburn 10

9. Capital One Bowl (Jan. 1), Florida vs. Michigan

If you had put this matchup in front of me in September, I'd have sworn that this would be the national title game. Unfortunately, Michigan had that season-wrecking loss to Appalachian State to open the schedule followed by a tough game against a strong Oregon opponent and really couldn't recover, regardless of how well they played through the middle of their schedule. Likewise, Florida fell victim to some unfortunate scheduling as their one "throw-away" game (loss to Auburn at home) came the week before they took on the mighty LSU Tigers, which pretty much took them out of championship contention far earlier than they had figured.

Which brings us to this game, which actually should be a very good, very entertaining affair. If Michigan wins, they have a chance to salvage their season in the eyes of their already disillusioned fan base. If Florida comes out on top, they feel they would be more than deserving of a top-five spot in the postseason polls, which is a very salvageable final outcome for a three-loss year.

What to Watch For: Heisman-winning QB Tim Tebow will be looking to prove to the masses that he's a deserving recipient against a stout Michigan defense that was ranked seventh in the nation against the pass. Additionally, Mike Hart and Chad Henne will be playing their last games in the maze and blue and both have exemplified hard-work, determination, and pride in their time at Michigan, so this bowl game should be no different.

Prediction: Michigan 38, Florida 37

10. GMAC Bowl (Jan. 6), Tulsa vs. Bowling Green

The next-to-last bowl game of the year might go otherwise unnoticed due to the anonymity of the participants. However, anyone who chooses not to watch this game would be missing the nation's most prolific offense (Tulsa) and a Bowling Green team that plays at full-throttle all the time. Averaging nearly 40 points and just under 550 yards per contest, the Golden Hurricane features a spread attack with lots of passes and misdirection runs. The Falcons of Bowling Green are a pass-happy bunch that mix in the occasional trick play and tend to keep defenses guessing. Between the two of them, you may well see 80 or more passes and points will not be at a premium.

What to Watch For: Tulsa QB Paul Smith was second in the nation with his 4,700 yards and passed for less than 300 yards exactly zero times in 2007. Smith also totaled 42 passing TDs; in short, he is a very effective quarterback option. Expect to see a pile of downfield plays and keep your eyes on Brennan Marion, a freshman receiver for Tulsa who averaged an eye-popping 32 yards per catch in 2007.

Prediction: Tulsa 63, Bowling Green 35

Sit back, relax and enjoy these 10 games and all they have to offer; from a matchup perspective, they should feature far more drama than those silly BCS games.

They certainly won't be any less meaningful.

Posted by Matt Thomas at 10:23 AM | Comments (0)

December 13, 2007

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 15

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Denver @ Houston (-2)

It's playoff elimination time again on the NFL Network, as the 6-7 Texans host the 6-7 Broncos, or, as Bryant Gumbel will call them, the "6-17 Oilers and the 7-6 Bingos." The loser of this contest is eliminated at that very moment, while the winner faces elimination in three days when a winner emerges in the battle between legitimate playoff contenders, the 7-6 Bills and 8-5 Browns.

"I guess all we can do is to win our game and hope for a tie in the Bills/Browns game," says the high-strung sociopath Mike Shanahan, who plans his day down to the very minute, on both MST (Mountain Standard Time) and EST. (Elway Standard Time). "I guess that's more likely than the NFL Network pairing Chris Collinsworth with a competent announcer. It must be unnerving for Collinsworth to give analysis while Gumbel stands there in a robotic daze, with very little to add that is factually correct and/or interesting. It would appear that Gumbel is an idiot. And, it would appear that Collinsworth could benefit from a more dynamic play-by-play man, like Don Criqui, Pat Summerall, or someone in the Caray family. And, by the way, my face is red not because I'm angry, but because of a medical condition. I'm hot-blooded. Check it and see."

Houston coach Gary Kubiak served 11 years as offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach to Shanahan before accepting the Houston job.

"It's no coincidence that the Broncos haven't won a Super Bowl since I left," says Kubiak. "While Shanahan was hiding behind his play sheet, I was the one making all the brilliant offensive calls. And John Elway was taking all the punishment and stealing all the glory. He was one tough son of a gun, though. You have to be to share a huddle with Shannon Sharpe. I swear I think Shannon just played football to finance his addiction to his church deacon/ghetto pimp wardrobe. Personally, I like my coattails just past the hip, not dragging the floor. And speaking of coattails, I don't think we'll ride into the playoffs on the coattails of Matt Schaub. He's had more MRIs lately than Travis Henry's had urine tests. And more negatives at that. Shanahan may consider me a young apprentice, but I will call him to his a face a 'bastard,' when he finds his servant is his master. Feel the sting of defeat, Shanny!"

Houston wins, 24-21.

Cincinnati @ San Francisco (+9½)

Times have changed in San Francisco. There was a time when the defining moment of the city was a Joe Montana touchdown completion to Dwight Clark, or a Dirty Harry Callahan bazooka-blast to wipe out a yet-to-be-proven-guilty suspect in a guard tower at Alcatraz. Now, big news in San Francisco is whether or not Alex Smith will have season-ending surgery on his injured shoulder.

"I'm not sure what's better for this franchise," says Mike Nolan, No. 1 on Mr. Blackwell's 'Best Dressed, Worst Coaches' year-end list. "Smith having season-ending surgery, or a career-ending accidental tumble down a stairway. I vote for the latter, 'cause that would make my day. It used to be that playing the 49ers in San Fran was an intimidating prospect, much like the fear shown by a perpetrator tasting the cold steel of the barrel of Dirty Harry's .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, able to blow you're his head clean off, without a team of human rights lawyers around, punk. Now, playing the 49ers in 'Frisco is like being apprehended by Deputy Barney Fife: you know you'll escape, and we'll probably shoot ourselves in the foot. I just wish Andy Griffith were here to correct our mistakes while offering a gentle lesson in life."

Believe it or not, the Bengals still lead the NFL in one-game winning streaks with five. Their latest conquest was holding the Rams to 10 points while lighting up the scoreboard for 19 points of their own.

"This team could learn a lot from the exploits of Clint Eastwood," says Carson Palmer. "Trust me, I'd love to see Dirty Harry whip out a hand-cannon on some of these thugs who like to wave guns in the air like they just don't care. Eastwood exudes discipline. He's directed Academy Award-winning movies and actors, he's been mayor of a city in California, and he can get an orangutan to do exactly what he says. Marvin Lewis can't direct, he can't supervise, and his ability with primates is limited to his successful training of a spider monkey to fetch things when Marvin was on crutches."

Palmer throws for two touchdowns, and the Bengals win the Saturday night special, 30-17. The airing of Eastwood's The Gauntlet on TBS outdraws the audience for the game, and the NFL begins talks to allow the NFL Network a flex scheduling option for games on next year's schedule.

Arizona @ New Orleans (-4)

Luckily for the Saints and their playoff hopes, two 6-6 teams in the NFC lost last week. The Saints are still in the playoff race, and now face one of those 6-6 teams that lost, the Cardinals. If the Saints are to make a concerted run at the playoffs, which would probably require three wins, some help from other teams, and the blood of a virgin spilled into an active volcano, they'll have to do it without Reggie Bush, who is done for the year with a torn posterior cruciate ligament.

"We've practically played without Reggie all season," says Drew Brees. "I've seen much better use of overall No. 2 picks: Ryan Leaf by San Diego in 1998, Rick Mirer by Seattle in 1993, Tony Manderich by Green Bay in 1989, and Lenny Kravitz in 2004 by the Jewish delegation in Dave Chappelle's 2004 Racial Draft. Frankly, Reggie's been a distraction all year. If it hasn't been a reporter asking about his knee, it's been a family member asking for rent. And that Fathead photographer with the giant camera has really been a nuisance. Reggie's just as easy to tackle as he is to peel off a wall."

New Orleans wins, 30-24.

Atlanta @ Tampa Bay (-12)

The Falcons' descent from NFC South contender to a franchise in trouble has been as sudden as Michael Vick's switch from a vertical pinstripe suit to a horizontal one. Vick was sentenced Monday afternoon, hours before the Falcons were shanked 34-14 by the Saints in Atlanta, darkening an already tragic day for the team. Vick received a harsher sentence than the others involved, mainly due to his less than truthful statements about the level of his involvement in the dogfighting operation.

"I've always been upfront and honest as to my involvement in dog-fighting and the use of recreational drugs," says John Gruden. "I won't lie. Nothing pleases me more than smoking a bone while watching two Chihuahua's in a Greco-Roman wrestling free-for-all. I've done it, and I'm only moderately ashamed. Now, if you want the truth about Jeff Garcia's back injury, then you won't get a straight answer from me. Nor from Jeff. Garcia's given a lifetime's worth of straight answers, most in response to questions of sexuality posed by Terrell Owens. I will say this about Garcia: his spleen is still with him. As for Mike Vick, no one should feel sorry for him. Sure, he'll have a tough time serving 23 months, but with his background with dogs, I doubt he'll have any trouble becoming somebody's bitch. And judging by the number of Vick jerseys worn by shameless fans at Monday's game and the imminent sales of 'Free Mike Vick' apparel, then Vick should have nice wad of cash waiting upon release to finance whatever kind of unsavory operation that tickles his fancy. And a reality show is sure to follow, and I wouldn't be surprised to find Vick guesting on The Dog Whisperer."

Tuesday finally brought some good news to the Falcons — head coach Bobby Petrino resigned to take the job at Arkansas. No one was happier in the Falcon locker room than DeAngelo Hall, who smelled a rat from the start and clashed with Petrino on occasion. No one was happier outside the locker room than Louisiana State coach Les Miles, who now is only the second-most deceptive coach in the land.

"I guess Santa Claus got my letter," beams a proud Hall.

Tampa wins, 27-10.

Baltimore @ Miami (+3)

There's always a sentimental feeling whenever former Miami Hurricanes Ray Lewis, Ed Reed, and Willis McGahee play in Miami. Just as it was in their college days, they'll be favored, they'll get paid, and a win won't get them anywhere near the NFL playoffs. It's been a dreadful year for the Ravens, and although they're not ones to complain, they're going to anyway, because that's what they do, to the tune of $70,000 levied against Bart Scott, Samari Rolle, Chris McAlister, and Derrick Mason for criticizing the officiating in their loss to the Patriots.

"As for beating the Patriots, the Ravens should know that you never send a boy to do a man's job," says Cam Cameron, whose Dolphins will face the Patriots next week. "Those Ravens complain more than John McEnroe in France. Of course, any time a player criticizes an NFL officials, the player has to pay. If I could apply that principle to players criticizing coaches, I'd be a rich man. But I'd still be a rich man without a win. We've already got one of those, Dolphins owner Wayne Huizenga. Anyway, I'm sure the Ravens will be motivated to win. They don't want to be one of the teams to lose to an eventual 19-0 team, and the only team to lose to a team that could have gone 0-16."

Always a man of tact, Brian Billick picked the most opportune time (following the Patriot meltdown and the blowout loss to Indy, both at home), to announce that he will be back next year as Baltimore coach. Then, quarterback Steve McNair announced that he will represent the AFC in the Pro Bowl. And Ed Reed announced that he is not overrated.

At least for this Sunday in Miami, everything is fined and dandy for the Ravens. Baltimore wins, 23-15.

Buffalo @ Cleveland (-5½)

It's odd to be talking about a game with playoff implications that involves the Bills and Browns, especially in Week 15 of the season, but the implications of Sunday's matchup are huge, almost as huge as the implications of an Earnest Byner fumble at the three-yard line, or the implications of a misplaced Thurman Thomas helmet. Right now, Cleveland holds the final wild card spot. Buffalo would take over that spot with a win.

"Yeah, the wild card would be very nice," says Romeo Crenel. "But there's much more at stake here. Buffalo lies on the northern end of Lake Erie. The metropolis of Cleveland sits at the southern end. The winner of this game lays claim to bragging rights of 9,940 vast square miles of water, home to thousands of species of marine life, and as many industrial pollutants, just begging for a team to call their own. There's even some Atlantic dolphins in there whose previous allegiances have been tested. If that's not enough to get both teams, and both cities, excited, then Erie just isn't a football lake, now is it?"

After an 0-3 start, the Bills are 6-3 since then, and rueing a 15-14 loss to the Broncos, the Bills only loss to a losing team, in Week 1. If Jason Elam somehow misses that game-winning field goal, and the Bills don't collapse on Monday night against the Cowboys, then they'd be 9-4 and in better position for the postseason.

"I think we've finally found our quarterback of the future," says Dick Jauron. "By 'future,' I mean this Sunday. Trent Edwards played great for us against the Dolphins. It's not often a player grades out at over 100%, but how often do you get to play the Dolphins? He completed passes of all distances. More importantly, he connected with Lee Evans on a plus-65 yard touchdown score. Previously, I thought only J.P. Losman was capable of making that pass. In fact, that was about the only pass J.P. could complete. They don't call him 'The Sniper' for nothing. And he doesn't have a kill ratio of 3% for nothing."

If the Bills can control the clock with their running game and keep the high-powered Cleveland offense off the field, then Buffalo can win this game. I defy the NFL Network's Sterling Sharpe and Brian Baldinger to surpass the painstaking research I did to reach that conclusion. Hey, is Baldinger wearing mascara?

Buffalo grinds out a gritty 24-22 win.

Green Bay @ St. Louis (+10½)

Brett Favre is like alcohol content — even at 80%, he still gets the job done. He recovers from injuries faster than video game characters. Say what you want about his gunslinger mentality, Favre has been a picture of vitality and longevity over the length of his glorious career.

"Vitality? Longevity? Length? Glorious? Gunslinger?" says oft-injured Rams quarterback Marc Bulger. "Those are words one wouldn't use to describe me, but if this is an advertisement for some new erectile dysfunction medication, then I'll take a trunk full, brother! I've been looking for a cure for my 'St. Louis Arch' for years now. This may be the answer. As for Favre, his toughness is legendary, and an inspiration to me, except when I'm injured. What he calls 'mild discomfort,' I call 'injured reserve.' Me? I wouldn't think of playing with broken bones. Favre? He's roasted marshmallows on compound fractures before. Concussions? Favre calls 'em 'pop knots.' Ambulances? Favre doesn't use them. I have my own pillows in the local fleets."

Favre prepares with his usual pre-game ritual, a nap, a performance of Carly Simon's "Haven't Got Time For the Pain," another nap, a dip, and a quick bath in the whirlpool. Then, he throws three touchdown passes. Green Bay wins, 34-14.

Jacksonville @ Pittsburgh (-4)

You can best believe Steelers safety Anthony Smith won't be making any ill-advised guarantees after Pittsburgh failed to backup Smith's guarantee of victory over the Patriots. Pittsburgh lost 34-13, and Smith was beat for two long touchdown passes. Smith is currently under a Mike Tomlin-advised vow of silence, and, in his haste not to give Jacksonville any unnecessary motivation, Tomlin has placed a "Jag" order on Smith.

"As a Pittsburgh Steeler," says Tomlin, "there's two tenets you have live and die by: 1) Dallas tight end Jackie Smith will always be an honorary Steeler and 2) Don't write a check your ass can't cash. Anthony abided by tenet No. 1; he gave mad props to Jackie. I think they're distantly related. But he broke tenet No. 2. Therefore, I had to make like a Black Crow and 'shake my guarantee-maker.' Now, Anthony's on the questionable list with 'shaken safety syndrome.'"

"That's tragic," says Jack Del Rio. "I wish Anthony a full and speedy recovery. If he's back for the game on Sunday, great. If he guarantees victory, even better. We welcome guarantees, especially from players he just got toasted twice the previous week. What's of even more concern is the status of safety Troy Polamalu. Will he play? Or will he continue his quest to look like Rip Van Winkle? I've heard of playoff beards, but injured list beards? Come on, Troy. Get out there. There's balding men that need to be reminded of their inadequacies."

Okay, here's what I think Mike Tomlin is thinking. The Steelers need Polamalu for the playoffs. His health is a priority, and so is maintaining the No. 3 seed in the AFC, which would mean the Steelers would face the Patriots in the AFC final, and not a week earlier. Pittsburgh finishes at St. Louis and at Baltimore. And, they definitely don't need Polamalu to win those two. We might not see him until the playoffs.

Jacksonville tries to burn the Steelers with the double-lateral bomb that the Patriots ran to perfection last Sunday. It fails when former college quarterback Matt Jones, who, in addition to his limited receiving skills, has lost nearly all of his quarterbacking abilities, throws the ball right to linebacker Larry Foote, who takes it in for the score. Steelers win, 23-13.

NY Jets @ New England (-24)

It's clear Eric Mangini has a sense of humor. Any coach who chooses to kick a field goal, down 17-12, with 1:48 left to play in the game obviously likes to be laughed at. That's exactly what Mangini did last Sunday. Now, in his defense, Mangini and the Jets had their full allotment of timeouts, and everybody knows that 1:48 and three timeouts is plenty of time to score a game-tying safety. This Sunday in New England, game-tying safeties and useless field goals won't do the Jets any good, as Mangini and his squad will face the wrath of Bill Belichick, a man hell-bent on raining vengeance, as well as 50-plus points, down upon the heads of the team that blew the whistle on the "Spygate" affair.

"Look at that massive spread," says Tom Brady, browsing through the Kama Sutra secreted away between the ample pages of his playbook. "Ha! Made you look. And no, by massive spread, I don't mean the distance between Anthony Smith and one of our receivers last week. I'm referring to the 24 points by which Vegas has us favored. Let me tell you it's not enough. Let's just say the Jets will see some 'double coverage' on Sunday. Mangini's got about as good of a chance getting an honest and sincere handshake from Bill Belichick as the Jets do of beating us. And we won't be taking any knees, at least on offense. It's a mismatch, much like a linebacker on Wes Welker, the Don Beebe of our time. I'm sure we'll be criticized for running up the score, but so be it. I'm used to all the criticisms. You can't let it affect you. Giselle may bitch and moan about the 40-second play clock, but I can't let that bother me. I don't complain when people don't buy Stetson cologne, even though seeing me in a print ad with three-day stubble, a few coat, and a skinny waif by my side should be enough to convince a man to buy a mid-level fragrance. You win some, you lose some. We'll, we win them all, and other teams lose some."

Brady throws for 345 yards and four touchdowns, including a 2-yard strike to Welker, known in Patriots lingo as a "rushing score." New England wins, 48-14. Suitably humiliated, Mangini, the "Pride Piper," leads his team dejectedly to their locker room.

Seattle @ Carolina (+7)

With the NFC West division clinched, the Seahawks now face the 5-8 Panthers in a rematch of the 2005 NFC Championship Game, won by the Seahawks 34-14. The Seahawks just blasted the Cardinals 42-21 to extend their winning streak to five, and are gaining confidence for a playoff push that may lead them to a date with the Packers in January.

"We want the ball and we're going to score!" yells captain Matt Hasselbeck, seconds after winning the coin toss at midfield.

In his excitement, Hasselbeck doesn't realize that those were his exact words back in January 2004, when the Seahawks won the coin toss in overtime of their playoff game in Green Bay. Moments later, Al Harris intercepted a Hasselbeck pass and returned it 52 yards for the game-winning touchdown.

"Thanks for the reminder," says Hasselbeck. "But this isn't Green Bay in January. It's Carolina in December, and the Panthers can't even win a coin toss at home. And they couldn't even break 100 yards rushing or receiving last week in Jacksonville. Don't rain on my parade. If I want to act like a giddy schoolgirl and elect to receive the opening kickoff , then let me."

Tickets are so abundant in Charlotte that scalpers are offering a free ticket just for inquiring about the price. On this day, supply beats demand, and the Seahawks beat Carolina, 27-9.

Tennessee @ Kansas City (+4)

The Titans felt the pain of a devastating 23-17 overtime loss to the Chargers in a physical game that saw quarterbacks Vince Young and Philip Rivers temporarily knocked out of the game. LaDainian Tomlinson provided the knockout blow, with a 16-yard touchdown run in overtime that completed the Chargers rally from a 17-3 deficit. Charger linebacker Shawne Merriman was also knocked out of the game with a knee injury on a hit he claimed was called by Titans head coach Jeff Fisher.

"I'll admit," says Fisher, "that there was more carnage in that game than an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon. But to accuse me of asking one of my players to injure another is just ludicrous. It's ludicrous that I would have to ask. Do I look like a 'Vito?' What is this? Sicily, 1975? The only hits I've ever ordered were back in 1982, when you got 13 for one penny from Columbia House. No one's ever mistaken me for Thomas 'The Hit Man' Hearns, although I did go toe-to-toe with Marvelous Marvin Hagler in a back alley in Newark as Al Michaels and Al Bernstein excitedly called the action. Marvelous and I fought to a draw, then we pummeled Michaels and Bernstein and took their lunch money. Anyway, it's never an easy task winning in Arrowhead. We know they'll be motivated. This is about the time of year the Kansas City coach uses tears to light a fire under his team. We'll be ready."

Win or lose, the Titans will trail either the Bills or Brown for the final wild card spot. In their favor, Tennessee has a Week 17 date with the Colts, who will probably be resting most of their starters. The Titans must have a win in Kansas City, and a win by the Bills would work in their favor.

LenDale Whites gobbles up 119 yards on the ground, and Vince Young tosses a touchdown pass to a wide receiver he has never met. Titans win, 24-13.

Indianapolis @ Oakland (+10 ½)

While his NBA city-mates are dodging bullets, Peyton Manning is still throwing them. Manning tossed four touchdown passes, including the 300th of his career, in the Colts 44-20 rout of the Ravens. With thoughts of inching closer to securing the AFC's No. 2 seed, Manning and the Colts will head to the Black Hole in Oakland.

"Hey, what offense do the Pacers run?" ask Manning. "It's called the 'gun and run.' Hey, Jamaal Tinsley, here's an assist: duck! Tinsley is a master of running the 'fast break,' and his shot clock management is impeccable. Do you think Larry Bird packs heat when he addresses the team? When a Pacers coach is dismissed, is he 'fired,' or 'fired at?' Dang, I kill me. I should be on television. Anyway, it's always nice playing in Oakland around Christmas. Nothing gets me in the spirit like seeing some fool dressed in a black and silver Santa suit with a brass belt, and brass knuckles to match. Raider fans are easily excited. Well, they should be excited. After last week's loss in Green Bay, and Sunday's game featuring me, Raiders fans will have seen two great quarterbacks in the last two weeks. That's more than they've seen in the last three decades. I'm not even sure Kenny Stabler should be considered great, but he could hold his liquor. At least, that's what Dad says. I'm excited myself to see JaMarcus Russell. I'd really like to analyze his skills and advise him. I think he could be great. I think my first words of advice would be 'Get out of Oakland.'"

Manning throws for 238 yards and two scores, then later lets himself into a stranger's house, casually plops down on the couch, asks for chips, and compliments the stranger on his 'nice Sony.' Colts win, 31-13.

Detroit @ San Diego (-10½)

After eight games this season, the Lions were 6-2, the Chargers were 4-4, and both teams seemed to be headed in the opposite direction of their 2006 campaigns. 3-13 in 2006, the Lions appeared headed for the playoffs and reaching, if not surpassing, Jon Kitna's guarantee of 10 wins. The Chargers finished 14-2 last year and after a much-maligned coaching change, their high expectations were modified. Since that pivotal week, the Lions have dropped five in a row, while the Chargers have won four of five.

"Well, it looks like both teams are headed for the same conclusion they had last year," says Norv Turner. "We'll be losing in the second-round of the playoffs, and the Lions will have a high pick in the draft. That might cost me my job, but I bet it gets Matt Millen an extension. I can see what's in store for the Lions next year: a wide receiver drafted in the top 10, and a guarantee of 12 wins from Kitna. And, I'll be offensive coordinator for the Falcons and their next franchise quarterback."

A self-important Shawne Merriman watches from the sidelines in a knee brace and a bulletproof vest as the Chargers take a 34-20 win. Philip Rivers has a turnover-free game, and LaDainian Tomlinson allows him to sit beside of him on the bench, as long as they don't touch.

Philadelphia @ Dallas (-10)

Another heroic effort by Tony Romo led the Cowboys back from a 27-14 fourth quarter deficit, and the possible ignominy of being part of a successful Jon Kitna guarantee, for a stunning win over the Lions. Earlier this year, Kitna had guaranteed 10 Detroit wins; Dallas' 28-27 win officially made Kitna's promise unreachable.

"I believe in making guarantees," says Romo, "but only those I know I can accomplish. Like, for example, guaranteeing that I'll hook up with a mentally-challenged songbird who looks great in a pair of Daisy Dukes. Jessica was great in The Dukes of Hazard, and she was kind enough to introduce me to Cooter."

At 5-8 and with very little to play for, the Eagles can still temporarily derail Dallas' plans for homefield advantage throughout the playoffs by shocking the Cowboys. More importantly, the bounty placed on Terrell Owen's head three years ago has still gone uncollected, and, with interest, now sits at $21,457.98. If no one collects this week, McNabb plans to use the money to pay his skyrocketing medical bills.

"Hey, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times," says McNabb. "It's not a bounty, it's a gift card."

The bounty goes uncollected, as Owens tears up the Philly secondary for 120 yards and a touchdown. However, Owens is later jumped by Keyshawn Johnson and Bill Parcells, who give Owens a taste of their Super Bowl rings before rendering him helpless with a spiked piledriver.

Dallas wins, 31-20.

Washington @ NY Giants (-4½)

With their gutsy 16-13 win in Philadelphia last Sunday, the Giants solidified their position as the probable No. 5 seed in the NFC playoffs, with a full two-game cushion on their closest pursuer, the Vikings. The G-Persons also strengthened their hold on the title of "least intimidating NFC playoff team." The G-Guys are 9-4, and all nine of their wins have come at the expense of teams with losing records. Their four losses (two to Dallas, Minnesota, and Green Bay) were to their likely competition in the playoffs.

"Well, it's a good thing we're playing the 6-7 Redskins, then," says Tom Coughlin. "Once the playoffs start, you can throw the records aside, and it all comes down to how you perform in big games. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. It's all for one, and one for all. I've been feeding my team overused lines like this all year, and I've found that they perform better when I just shut my trap. It's going to take our best efforts to make a playoff run. Most importantly, we need Eli Manning's leadership to take us places. He's not the leader his brother is. Eli could start by getting a speaking role in a commercial. But he's making progress. He's just a few hours away from earning his leadership merit badge. But sewing a little patch on a uniform doesn't necessarily make you a good leader, nor does it necessarily make you a good captain. I think this game, as well as the remainder of our games, will answer the telling questions about Eli. And speaking of questions, can someone answer this one: Who's hairdo does Chris Cooley have? Thing No. 1 or Thing No. 2?"

New York wins, 23-16.

Chicago @ Minnesota (-9)

Adrian Peterson makes his Monday Night Football debut, and the stage will be all his. Well, maybe not all, his. There's that problem of making your highly anticipated MNF debut and having another player by the same name on the other team. There's an Adrian Peterson that plays for the Bears. Despite the long odds, it's not the first time two players with the same name on opposing teams have faced each other. There was that remarkable day during the 1984 season when the Dolphins faced the Giants. In that game, Dolphins kicker Uwe von Schamann faced his namesake, Giants defensive tackle Uwe von Schamann, while Giants kicker Ali Haji-Sheikh squared off against Miami special teamer Ali Haji-Sheikh on the other side.

"If you believe that," says Minnesota defensive tackle Kevin Williams, "then you'd believe that I take cruises on Lake Minnetonka for the fishing. I guess the Jets/Patriots spygate scandal will take most of the headlines this week, but let's not forget about truly interesting NFL scandals, like our 'Tailgate' incident on the water of 2005. It was also the year that Mike Tice scalped his Super Bowl tickets. That was a good year. I know Bill Belichick paid the NFL $500,000, but more money changed hands during our two incidents. And no one left unhappy. Anyway, as far as the Adrian Petersons go, you'll be able to tell them apart once they hit the field. The one that the MNF booth can't stop gushing about in our A.P. Adrian's been successfully indoctrinated into the Viking sex scandal brotherhood. We don't bother making rookies carry our bags and equipment. We order them to take us out on the lake in their boat and provide the entertainment. Let me tell ya, Adrian's Sooner Schooner was fully stocked that time."

Peterson and backfield mate Chester Taylor rush for 165 yards and two scores, and the Vikings make life miserable for another superstar making his first (and last) MNF start, Bear quarterback Kyle Orton. Minnesota wins, 27-10.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:47 AM | Comments (6)

December 12, 2007

The Annual Tennis Holiday Wish List

Tennis for the year 2007 has been over for a while. The U.S. men, led by Andy Roddick, returned the Davis Cup to the North American continent with a 4-1 victory over the Russians just a few weeks ago to place the punctuation on the end of the 2007 season. Justine Henin finished first in the WTA again, and Roger Federer ruled the men's game on his way to fulfilling the prophecy of him being the greatest player ever.

The Serbians were the good news story, with Jelena Jankovic, Ana Ivanovic, and Novak Djokovic all rising to the top of the men's and women's ranks and showing the world that it's the size of your heart, not the size of your country.

The season ended on a sour note, however, with Martina Hingis, the Swiss Miss of my dreams, retiring very abruptly from the game for the second time amidst the announcement that she tested positive for cocaine at Wimbledon this year.

With the allegations of match-fixing also looming, the professional tennis game has a lot of work ahead for them in 2008.

Which leads me to this, my annual Tennis Christmas Wish list. More than ever, the game of tennis needs the man in the little red suit to be more then generous this year. So, Santa, here is my list. I'll leave some really big cookies for you:

10. Please bring more success to the U.S. men. Arlen Kantarian has now taken over the entire professional side to the USTA, and let's hope he can bring to the men and women the same magic he's brought to the U.S. Open and Radio City Music Hall.

9. More Andre Agassi, less John McEnroe. In brief moments this past year, the gracious champion Andre provided us a presence and commentary as only he can. I love Johnny Mac, but I am getting tired of him being the face of tennis. Oh, and Bob Costas, please help Santa and no more John on your HBO show!

8. A major title each for Jelena Jankovic, Ana Ivanovic, and Novak Djokovic. Simple, isn't it? They are all great people and have worked hard all year. I'm guessing they are on the nice list this year.

7. More face time with the young, upcoming women. Anna Chakvetadze, Agnieszka Radwanska, Victoria Azarenka, and Agnes Szavay all had breakthrough matches in 2007 and it would be a nice stocking stuffer to see more of them in 2008.

6. A string of pearls from BeMyPearl.com from WTA veteran Alina Jidkova for my lovely girlfriend, Suzanne. Alina gave us some great tennis this year. Maybe the jolly little man can give her some additional success both on and off the court.

5. More indoor tennis courts in the NY/NJ/CT Tri-State area. While the tennis participation numbers continue to climb, indoor tennis facilities in one of the most densely populated places on the planet continue to disappear. I'm looking to see more green and blue court surface in the aerial shots of the area on Google Earth.

4. A grand slam sweep for Maria Sharapova. She proved to be a true professional this year, and the world can use a few more of those. Maybe the holiday season will provide her with enough magic to win all four big ones in the same year, as well.

3. An award for Sports Central. The longest running fan site, and one of the best sources of sports news and opinion on the planet. With everyone trying to copy it, why not some recognition in 2008?

2. A new collection of racquets for my study. I'm hoping that along with my Vantage customs that a Bosworth, Wilson Pro Staff Saint Vincent, a Dunlop McEnroe, and a Prince Speedport wind up in boxes under my tree, then on my wall. Maybe the holidays will bring continued success to all the racquet industry, as well.

1. A year of tolerance in the world, with tennis as the driving force. No sport in the world is more universal, and the shift of the WTA Tour toward Europe and Asia recognizes the contributions of women in society and the multi-cultural aspects of the world. While I'm still hoping for some good old USA champions, the best part of the game remains its diversity.

Well, that's it for this year. I'm not hoping for too much I hope. I'll keep a stocking by the fireplace for all of you, as well.

Happy New Year and happy holidays!

Posted by Tom Kosinski at 11:55 AM | Comments (3)

December 11, 2007

In the Box: NFL Week 14

Some years, half the playoff field is unsettled going into Week 15. This year, not so. Of the eight divisions, only the AFC North and West present even a little intrigue as to the eventual winner. Pittsburgh has a one-game advantage over the Browns (really one and a half thanks to the season sweep), while the Chargers have a two-game lead over the Broncos, with those two meeting in San Diego on Christmas Eve.

In the NFC, only the Saints can claim any hope of a division miracle, two back of the Bucs. Unfortunately for the Saints, the Bucs own the season sweep, so, even if New Orleans sweeps Arizona, Philadelphia, and Chicago (road), Tampa would have to lose to Atlanta, San Francisco, and Carolina for a Saints division crown. Not happening.

So that leaves us with the wild cards. In the NFC, we've got the Giants at 9-4, two games up on Minnesota and three on Washington, Detroit, and Arizona. It's possible the Giants go 0-3 with Washington, Buffalo (road), and New England in their final three, but it would still take a sweep by the Skins, Lions, and Cards to knock the G-Men to the curb.

Detroit: San Diego (road), Kansas City, Green Bay (road)
Washington: NY Giants (road), Minnesota (road), Dallas
Arizona: New Orleans (road), Atlanta, St. Louis

Chances are the Giants are safe.

For the final wild card, it's looking good for the Vikings with a final three of Chicago, Washington, and Denver (road). That would set up the Steve Hutchinson revenge game with the Seahawks, with Giants/Bucs in the other wild card game.

In the AFC, Jacksonville (9-4) could still blow it with Pittsburgh (road), Oakland, and Houston (road), but it's extremely unlikely they end up with anything other than the five seed and a trip to San Diego. Then it comes down to Cleveland (8-4), Tennessee (7-6), and Buffalo (7-6).

Cleveland: Buffalo (biggest game of Week 15), Cincinnati (road), San Francisco
Tennessee: Kansas City (road), NY Jets, Indianapolis (road)
Buffalo: Cleveland (road), NY Giants, Philadelphia (road)

You can count out the loser of the Browns/Bills game on Sunday, with the winner having an advantage over Tennessee thanks to the Titans' pedestrian 4-5 conference record (Browns are 6-4, Bills 6-5). Needless to say, Vince Young has to pull one out against the Chiefs this Sunday in Arrowhead or poof go the playoffs. Give the early nod to the Browns thanks to home field this weekend. If they do land the sixth seed, it's off to Pittsburgh for an old-school AFC playoff showdown.

(If that game happens, I demand God makes it snow at least 10 inches in Pittsburgh that day.)

And because the draft is only five months away, the top five picks as of right now:

1. Miami (0-13)
2. San Francisco (3-10; .467 strength of schedule; Pick owned by New England)
3. St. Louis (3-10; .479 strength of schedule)
4-5. Tie - NY Jets and Atlanta (both 3-10 with a .503 strength of schedule; Would break tie with coin flip)

Tie-Breaker Procedures

And now Week 14:

New England 34, Pittsburgh 13: Everybody should get off Anthony Smith's back. Nothing substantive happened as a result of the guarantee to determine the result of the game. The Pats didn't play better because of it. They didn't call the deep balls because Smith ran his mouth. They ran them because Smith is a young safety who jumps at play action and the brains of the secondary, Troy Polamalu, wasn't on the field to help him out. They won because they were the better team. Smith was excited to play the biggest game of his career, on the road against an undefeated team mentioned with the best in history, led by one of the best QBs in history. He showed some cockiness, got a little carried away. Big freaking deal. Please don't mention it again.

Also, I'm not even enjoying these wins anymore. I'm just relieved they didn't lose. And now I'm going to spend the next five days terrified of losing to the Jets in the revenge game. And if they win that, I'll have nightmares about losing the streak to the Dolphins, which would be absolutely terrible because it would not only protect their record, it would make Miami fans the happiest fans of a 1-15 team in NFL history. And if the Pats beat Miami, I'll worry about the shame of Tom Brady losing a perfect regular season to Eli Manning, which is even worse than losing it to Peyton Manning.

And if the Pats win all three of those, there's the huge black cloud of possibly having an undefeated team in the regular season lose in the playoffs, which would be 10 times worse than any other kind of playoff defeat. I might actually have to be hospitalized if that happens.

I'm not expecting any kind of sympathy or anything, but you should know this is no cake walk.

Fantasy Impact: Jabar Gaffney had 7 catches for 122 yards and scored a TD in his third straight game. He was even listed in the starting lineup ahead of Donte Stallworth. If you need a fill-in due to injury, Gaffney could be a season-saver.

Indianapolis 44, Baltimore 24: I only watched five minutes of this one, but it was an interesting five: The dawn of the Troy Smith era. Sure, he was playing against Indy's backup backups. And sure he was playing against a prevent defense just waiting to get out of the rain. But he has the athleticism, awareness, and arm of an NFL quarterback, something you can't necessarily say about Kyle Boller. At the end of a miserable night, it was shocking how many Ravens seemed elated when Smith came off the field after leading a touchdown drive in his first action of his career. It was almost as if they were saying, "Finally, we've got our guy."

Fantasy Impact: Quote from last week: "I've got a feeling (Anthony) Gonzalez is going to have a break-out game in the next three weeks (at Baltimore, at Oakland, Houston)."

Gonzalez against the Ravens: 6 receptions for 134 yards and 2 TD.

(And of course I had him on my bench and got knocked out of the playoffs. Trust me on this — I'm the dumbest smart guy in the world.)

Dallas 28, Detroit 27: In some ways, this win was even more impressive for the Cowboys than the Packers game 10 days earlier. It's hard to play your best every time out, especially when your opponent needs the win much more than you do. The Lions had to have that win to save their season, and Tony Romo ripped out their hearts.

That's how champions play.

Fantasy Impact: In leagues that award points for receptions, the top five fantasy performers at running back:

Brian Westbrook (1110 yards rushing, 74 catches for 642 yards receiving, 12 total TD)
LaDainian Tomlinson (1195 yards rushing, 55 catches for 454 yards receiving, 15 total TD)
Joseph Addai (975 yards rushing, 34 catches for 318 yards receiving, 14 total TD)
Adrian Peterson (1200 yards rushing, 16 catches for 230 yards receiving, 11 total TD)
Marion Barber (837 yards rushing, 40 catches for 259 yards receiving, 11 total TD)

New York Giants 16, Philadelphia 13: Think of the NFC wild card race this way: the Giants are Rudy Giuliani, the Vikings Mike Huckabee, the Lions Mitt Romney, the Cardinals John McCain, the Saints Fred Thompson, and the Redskins Ron Paul. (Sorry, 'Skins fans. I ran out of legitimate candidates. Just be thankful you're not Tom Tancredo.)

Fantasy Impact: Plaxico Burress may not make the Pro Bowl with 62 catches for 900 yards, but only Terrell Owens and Greg Jennings have more than Plax's 10 TDs, plus he's the most important offensive weapon on a 9-4 team. That has to count for something.

Cleveland 24, NY Jets 18: Instead of ripping on the Jets again, some praise for Cleveland GM Phil Savage. Since coming over from Baltimore in January of 2005, he has steadily loaded this roster with quality talent. Their picks in rounds one and two of the past three drafts:

2005: Braylon Edwards, Brodney Pool
2006: Kamerion Wimbley, D'Qwell Jackson
2007: Joe Thomas, Brady Quinn, Eric Wright

Seven picks, six starters, and possibly their QB of the future. Fullback Lawrence Vickers came in the sixth in 2006. Corner Brandon McDonald came in the fifth this year. And that's not to mention picking up Jamal Lewis, Eric Steinbach, and Derek Anderson in free agency (and having the fortitude to dump 2005 third-rounder Charlie Frye after Week 1 this year). More than any one position in the organization, the guy making the personnel decisions has to be great in order to win in the NFL. And so give Savage more credit than any other one individual for the Browns' return to relevance in 2007.

Also, the Jets are 27-point dogs to the Pats.

Fantasy Impact: It's a good time to have Lewis on your team. All three of their remaining games are in Ohio (lone road contest is at Cincinnati). It's cold in Ohio. The forecast for this Sunday in Cleveland is snow showers and windy with a high of 28.

Seattle 42, Arizona 21: That Vikings/Seahawks game on wild card weekend is going to be fantastic.

Also, Patrick Kerney has to be one of the top five free-agent signings this past offseason. With his three sacks in this one, he's got 13.5 (most in the league) with three forced fumbles and an interception. Nine of those sacks have come in the past four games.

Fantasy Impact: If you were counting on Kurt Warner this late in the season, you deserve his five picks.

Buffalo 38, Miami 17: Is there any worse scenario for the Dolphins than becoming the first team in nearly three decades to go winless, plus have their reign as the last undefeated team end at the hands of the hated Patriots? I'm not saying it's going to happen, but it would have to really suck for them if it did.

As for the Bills, it will be interesting to see what they do with J.P. Losman in the offseason. Trent Edwards (4 TD in this one) has taken a hold of the starting QB job and has Buffalo on the precipice of a miracle run to the playoffs. If Losman comes back, they have a quarterback controversy that's going to run all summer. If they dump Losman, they lose their safety net in case Edwards goes down. Tough dilemma.

Fantasy Impact: Mark Ted Ginn, Jr. down as a sleeper WR for next season.

Washington 24, Chicago 16: This game was nothing but catastrophe until Todd Collins came through with his feel-good revival. Still, with Jason Campbell likely out for the year with a knee injury, you have to feel time has about run out on the Redskins and the second coming of Joe Gibbs.

The temptation is to suggest owner Daniel Snyder quit his free-spending ways and go a more conservative rout in looking for his new coach. I've previously suggested 49ers defensive coordinator Mike Singletary. But there's one big-ticket coaching candidate out there who would be worth the money and "here we go again" backlash — Bill Cowher. He's got the credibility to take over a veteran team, a hard-nose style that would fit in well in the NFC East, and the presence/savvy to keep the momentum with the fans and media.

Fantasy Impact: Thursday night's success aside, Collins is a significant downgrade from Campbell. And when the QB gets downgraded, the rest of the team gets downgraded with him.

San Diego 23, Tennessee 17: In one of my favorite war movies ever, "Hamburger Hill," Alphabet ("My name is Languilli!") turns to Sgt. Frantz and talks about how he and the rest of the new guys had done good in their first action. "We got our cherries popped, didn't we, Sarge?" he says. Frantz, played by Dylan McDermott in his big screen debut, tells him the only thing that happened that day was he lost a man. Nothing else matters.

The only thing that happened for the Chargers on Sunday was they lost a man, and I'm not talking about Shawne Merriman, out at least one week with a knee sprain. I'm talking about fullback Lorenzo Neal, lead blocker for LaDainian Tomlinson, and one of the two or three most indispensable members of the team. San Diego may have carried out the bulk of their comeback with Neal already out, but they have no chance in the playoffs if he's not there. (They're not saying it yet, but the chances of coming back from a broken fibula in four weeks seem remote.)

Fantasy Impact: If I'm the Titans, I probably go ahead and draft a wide receiver early in April. The guys they got now aren't getting it done.

Also, I'm not sure Norm Chow is going to be the guy for Vince Young. They're playing a traditional offense that doesn't take advantage of Young's immense athletic talent. He had two rushes in this one. Two. And of 13 games this season, Young has gone only two without throwing at least one pick. You can't change the QB, so change the offense.

Jacksonville 37, Carolina 6: Domination.

Fantasy Impact: With 944 yards rushing on the season, Fred Taylor is on the verge of his seventh 1,000-yard season. I think it's about time he makes his first Pro Bowl. (By the way, voting ends today.)

Green Bay 38, Oakland 7: Double domination.

Fantasy Impact: In the last seven games, Ryan Grant is averaging 20 carries for 102 yards. He's scored five touchdowns, including four in the last three games.

Houston 28, Tampa Bay 14: Sage Rosenfels this year: 66 percent completions for 1,123 yards, 11 TD, and 7 INT.

Matt Schaub this year: 66 percent completions for 2,241 yards, 9 TD and 9 INT.

Schaub is still going to be the guy next year, but if he struggles early...

Fantasy Impact: The Texans should do whatever they can to trade up for Darren McFadden.

Denver 41, Kansas City 7: It has to be maddening to be a Broncos fan. Against Chicago in Week 11, Jay Cutler leads the late comeback. "Finally! He's turning the corner." Then he sucks out loud against the Raiders. "Damn it! What the hell's the matter with this guy?" Then he throws a career-high four TD against in this one. "Finally! He's turning the corner."

Thursday night, Broncos at Texans. You'd be better off spinning the roulette wheel than picking this game.

Fantasy Impact: I hate Mike Shanahan.

Minnesota 27, San Francisco 7: The 49ers converted on 8-of-16 third-down attempts, held Adrian Peterson to 3 yards on 14 carries and out-gained the Vikings 284-280.

The glass-is-half-full approach: Almost all the pieces are there. Once they get Alex Smith and Manny Lawson back healthy, plus another active free-agency season (they have almost $31 million in cap room according to Peter King's MMQB), and next year is the year they spring back.

The glass-is-half-empty approach: Mike Nolan can't get it done. The offense is a mess. Alex Smith may be permanently damaged. They're probably going to lose Singletary. They don't get their first-round pick this year because of the Joe Staley trade last April. The Yorks are still bad owners, and the franchise has at least another two years of stinking, by which time Nolan will have been fired and somebody else will be starting over.

Fantasy Impact: The list of fantasy disappointments this year is long, but Frank Gore has to crack top 10. He's only broken 100 yards rushing once this year and has scored only two TD since Week 2 (both in the Arizona game in Week 12, the one game he broke 100).

Cincinnati 19, St. Louis 10: Talk about your disappointments. I know about his reputation and everything, but if you had to pick a quarterback for your team right now, would Carson Palmer even be in the top 15? If Rex Grossman had made the same throw Palmer made for a Rams pick-six, people would be clamoring for Rex to be banished from the league. When Palmer does it, everybody looks the other way.

Fantasy Impact: Steven Jackson has lost nothing. Next year's fantasy top five has to include in some order Jackson, Brady, LaDainian Tomlinson, Adrian Peterson, and somebody from the Addai/Westbrook/Willie Parker troika.

New Orleans 34, Atlanta 14: Michael Vick Michael Vick Michael Vick Tony Kornheiser is really getting annoying Michael Vick.

Fantasy Impact: Woof.

Seth Doria is a writer based out of St. Louis. For the only daily column that mixes sports, politics, and entertainment news in one, visit The Left Calf.

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 12:09 PM | Comments (0)

NCAA, NBA Benefitting From Age Limit

It's become pretty clear that 2007-08 is the year of the freshman in college hoops. Sure, last year's season-long Greg Oden vs. Kevin Durant dialogue may have flashed more star power, but this year's class is Grand Canyon-deep. Derrick Rose, O.J. Mayo, Eric Gordon, Kevin Love — the list goes on.

Let's just say a college hoops fan looking to get acquainted with this year's newcomers has had to dip pretty deep into the cable package to get to know everyone. The climax of this came this past weekend for me, as I found UCLA/Davidson on WGN, the independent channel based out of Chicago. I don't know what was in the water in 1989, but a diver could get the bends swimming to the bottom of this basketball gene pool.

It's no secret that the surge of young talent into NCAA hoops came because, well, they have to be there. When the NBA enacted its new age limit policy before last season, it set in motion a chain of events NCAA hoops junkies could only dream of. Just think: If not for Commissioner David Stern, most of these freshman would be seven-figure bench warmers in the league's lottery dredges.

But more than that, think of the domino effect. When some of these flashy freshmen graduate (that would be from the sport, of course, not academically), they'll make up a pretty decent portion of the enviable lottery picks. Combined with the influx of foreign-born players and a few late bloomers who "only" managed to become stars in their junior and senior years, the vacuum at the top of the draft that previously sucked up anyone with a jumper has been calmed.

Take Arizona sophomore Chase Budinger, for example. I'm hardly a draft guru, but odds are Budinger might have considered his draft prospects in April 2006 as a high school senior, had he been allowed. But with the NBA age limit freshly in place, Budinger headed to the Wildcats. There, a funny thing happened. It turns out Budinger isn't the transcendent star some of his cronies or family might have tried to convince him he was. Instead, it turns out he's merely a very capable starter in a major college program. With the Odens and Durants of the world log-jamming the front of the draft in 2007, Budinger came back to Arizona for a second year.

But the dominos will keep falling. If Buddinger grows into a better all-around scorer (though after watching UA's game Saturday against Illinois, that's up in the air), perhaps this year or next he'll test the draft waters and leave early. Throw in some other guys who have stuck around, such as Georgetown's Roy Hibbert or any of the North Carolina studs, and now that one-and-done strategy for budding freshman stars doesn't look so appealing.

When the NBA's age limit rule came down, I held very firm moral reservations about it. Where else in our country can an employer refuse to hire someone based on his age, given he is a legal adult (as 18-year-olds are). How loud would the outrage be if McDonald's refused to hire people over the age of 55? With that said, the end result of the rule has been a win-win situation for pretty much every involved party.

NCAA coaches now know recruiting great prep stars isn't a total loss, given the previous risk of losing a guy straight to the NBA. While one-and-dones aren't ideal for the John Caliparis and Tim Floyds of the world, they at least can reap some publicity from winning these stars. At the same time, their fans aren't let down from the excitement of seeing that five-star recruit commit to their program, only to have him never step foot on campus.

The NBA guys win, too. A year of major college hoops is a decent screening process of blue chip young players. Do you think LeBron James would have fared pretty well against Northwestern and Penn State, assuming he went to Ohio State? Or, conversely, do you think NBA scouts might have been a bit more hesitant on the Jonathan Benders of drafts past had they seen them go through an SEC season? In essence, David Stern got his wish of removing much of the bust-potential from the draft process by installing at least one test year for young players.

And even the players get something out of this. No, they don't get to be millionaires at the same time they're allowed to buy cigarettes. They have to wait one more year. But the rule at least is more honest to young players with helium-filled egos than packs of yes-men driven by their own agendas. Is it unfair to make the Durants and LeBrons of the world wait a year and assume some degree of career risk? Certainly. But for the majority of college players like Chase Buddinger and others who found out they could get something out of college ball, the rule works. Now if only we could get Commish Stern to work on that BCS...

Posted by Corrie Trouw at 11:30 AM | Comments (0)

December 10, 2007

NBA Superstars Trading Places

Last week, Jason Kidd topped the headlines for all the wrong reasons. It wasn't for a triple double, or leading his team to an improbable victory. It was for missing practice because of a migraine. Or was it?

Multiple media outlets reported Kidd was holding a one-day strike, protesting the current status of his team, and demanding a trade. Kidd denied it. But should we believe him?

It's becoming a common scenario these days. Star athlete signs max deal, star athlete's team can no longer afford to sign marquee free agents, star athlete's team begins to decline, star athlete gets bitter and downtrodden toward his team.

Over the past couple of years, some of the game's best have followed this trend. Vince Carter was Toronto's franchise player, and planned to keep him there throughout his career. The Raptors signed Carter to a superstar contract, breaking their budget and preventing Toronto's management to sign the necessary parts to stay competitive in the East. Carter demanded a trade, and mailed in games until the trade was done. Luckily for the Raptors, their demise lasted only a year before current head coach Sam Mitchell was able to turn the franchise back into a playoff contender.

The same story can be traced to Tracy McGrady and Paul Pierce, although Pierce got lucky and instead of trading the Celtics' franchise player, Boston went out and brought two other franchise players in, an unheard of ploy that seems to have worked out for all sides.

Other players have been just as selfish, but for other reasons. Shawn Marion and Andrei Kirilenko felt disrespected by trade talks, and asked to be traded. And Kobe Bryant, well, we all know his story.

How has the NBA got to this point?

When Major League Baseball player Curt Flood won the landmark case making players available for free agency and in turn giving all professional athletes the freedom to make their own deals and rise from underneath the owners' stranglehold on salaries, I doubt this is what the courts and Flood had in mind.

Most current players have never heard of Flood, and probably don't understand why that case was so important. It wasn't so players like Carter or McGrady could leave a team in the lurch. Teams pay these superstars amounts of cash that players in the '80s and '90s could only dream of. The Flood case gave players the right to earn what they deserved and not let owners treat players like slaves.

Instead, the state of players' egos are so magnanimous they feel they deserve the world. If a player is discussed in trade rumors, players automatically believe it's a sign of disrespect and must be traded.

Instead, players want to leave sub-par teams for playoff contenders. No matter what type of loyalty that team has shown the player.

What players fail to realize in the latter scenario, it doesn't work.

In the history of the NBA, there has never been one single person win the title. It's always been a team.

In the '50s and '60s, Boston was the personification of the team game. Every player recognized his role and did not deviate from that task to the tune of eight championships in a row.

Even Wilt Chamberlain, regarded as one of the most selfish players in pro basketball, sacrificed for the sake of a championship. In the 1966-67 season, Chamberlain failed to lead the league in scoring for the first time in her career, instead looking to get others involved. The Big Dipper averaged almost 8 assists per game and finished with over 200 more than his previous high. He would finish the year with 24 points, 24 rebounds, and 8 assists per game. The 76ers took home the championship.

In the '80s, Boston and Los Angeles played team basketball. Many view the 1986 Celtics as the best team ever. The Celtics did have Larry Bird, but even Bird sometimes deferred to Kevin McHale or Dennis Johnson or Robert Parrish. That was the best part of that team. Every player could have been the dagger. With the Lakers, Magic Johnson always said he might be the man, but this was Kareem's team. Where's the ego? Ego may make you money, but humility wins you championships.

I could go on and on about championship teams to show you regardless of who was on that team, they were teams first, and it took more than just one year to guarantee a championship. Detroit, Chicago, Houston, San Antonio, the early-2000s Lakers, they were all teams, superstars playing collectively for a common goal.

That's what makes the Spurs so good right now. San Antonio is a throwback, they don't do anything special, they just win. They have a superstar, Tim Duncan, and a bunch of other good players that contribute to the success. Tony Parker won the Finals MVP last year. Did he hold out for more money? Manu Ginobli could start for every team in the NBA, but he has no problems coming off the bench for the world champions. In a world were C.R.E.A.M (Cash Rules Everything Around Me) runs supreme, the Spurs are successful because the team concept comes before individual success.

Last year's playoffs were the perfect example of that. In the middle of the season, Allen Iverson was traded to Denver to team up with Carmelo Anthony to create the most potent one-two scoring punch in the NBA. The Nuggets were the hottest team heading into the playoffs. In the first round, Denver was bounced in five.

In the ultra-competitive, egomaniacal NBA, it's either get the most money, or get the most rings. Most don't realize that the odds of you doing both are slim to none. Besides Michael Jordan, I can't think of another player who was able to do both during his time, and Jordan was one-of-a-kind. Duncan has figured it out, so have the rest of the Spurs.

The only dissent from this may be the current Celtics. Danny Ainge was forced to sign some big names after his franchise player wanted out. Ainge went out and got Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett. It looks right now as though all three have sacrificed their own particular games for the betterment of the team. All three players' numbers are down, but they are winning. That's the key, sacrificing.

What Bryant, Kidd, and the rest of the future trade hawkers don't realize is the pain might subside in the beginning, but they will fail to accomplish what they set out to do with the trade in the first place. History proves this.

In the NBA, demanding a trade or trading for superstars is now becoming common. What players and owners alike must realize is the only thing trade demands do is guarantee failure.

Posted by Wailele Sallas at 11:50 AM | Comments (0)

Tebow Robs Heisman From the Cradle

With Tim Tebow becoming the first sophomore to win the Heisman Trophy since its conception in 1935, the question of whether he should have won it must be asked. Each of the four leading candidates for the award had advantages and disadvantages to his name, but did Tebow's pros outweigh his cons?

Tim Tebow's main pro was quite obviously statistics. With 29 passing touchdowns and 22 rushing touchdowns, Tebow delivered a touchdown of each variety in every single game he played in, something no other Heisman candidate could even come close to saying. But Tebow did not have a moment that many analysts and commentators refer to as a "Heisman Moment." Tebow and the Gators lost to three tough SEC opponents in four weeks, Auburn, LSU, and Georgia. LSU and Georgia were the two teams from the SEC that received BCS Bowl bids, whereas Florida received no such prize and wasn't really in the running for one with those three conference losses hanging over their heads.

The schedule for the Gators really worked against Tebow's chances of having a "Heisman Moment." Though the Gators trounced Vanderbilt, South Carolina, Florida Atlantic, and Florida State, none of those teams was anywhere near the top of their conference and all were easy wins. In the end, Tebow won the Heisman the same way Ohio State was allowed into the BCS Championship Game — by not playing anybody of significance and therefore not screwing up.

Darren McFadden was truly the only candidate with a "Heisman Moment." McFadden led the Arkansas Razorbacks over the top-ranked LSU Tigers in a triple overtime victory that was arguably the greatest game of the entire college football season. McFadden posted over 200 yards rushing and four touchdowns (three rushing, one passing) in that thriller. McFadden's largest drawback was that his Razorbacks lost four conference games and were only ranked in the Top 25 for their first two games.

If McFadden's performance would have truly knocked the LSU Tigers out of contention for the BCS championship, I believe McFadden would have been more highly considered. With every top-ranked team losing in the last two weeks, LSU snuck in to the championship game and McFadden and the Razorbacks' victory became a footnote.

Colt Brennan had 1,000 more passing yards than Tebow in 2007, but Brennan actually had a better season statistically in 2006 and wasn't even truly considered for the Heisman, even with over 5,500 yards passing and 58 touchdown passes. But he was up for the award this year with a measly 4,100 yards passing and a meager 38 touchdown passes. Interestingly enough, even though Brennan and the Warriors are in a second-tier conference (WAC), it is Brennan who is the only Heisman candidate who actually will be leading his team in a BCS bowl game. Brennan will lead his undefeated Hawaii Warriors into the Sugar Bowl against the Georgia Bulldogs on New Years Day.

Chase Daniel also had 1,000 more passing yards than Tebow, but Daniel's biggest downfall was not rising to the occasion against Oklahoma in the Big 12 Championship Game, a loss that ruined Missouri's chances not only of the BCS championship, but of any BCS bowl game whatsoever. Daniel ended on too much of a down note to receive any real consideration.

So, to sum it all up, Tebow had the stats, but not the team and not the moment. McFadden had the moment and for the most part, the stats, but by no means the team. Colt Brennan had the team (just in the wrong conference) and the stats, but no available moments against any teams of consequence (besides perhaps the Broncos of Boise State). Brennan should have combined his stats of last year and the team's record of this year then nobody in their right mind would have argued with his winning the trophy. And Chase Daniel blew it.

Overall, I'd say Tebow is a decent and deserving winner, but McFadden's performance against LSU would have made me vote for him over Tebow.

Posted by Andrew Jones at 11:41 AM | Comments (4)

December 8, 2007

Did David Stern Just Ruin Basketball?

Occasionally in a modern media culture of easily disposable headlines and news cycles that are faster than a stage of the Tour de France, the really important stories can be drowned out in the cacophony.

Like, for example, when the commissioner of one of the most popular professional leagues on the face of the Earth indirectly reveals that his entire sport is basically a steaming pile of horse excrement.

(Or, since we're talking about the NBA, I suppose that should be H-O-R-S-E excrement.)

On the table next to my laptop is a torn page from one of last week's editions of The Washington Post. It's a basketball notebook complied from wire services; one that I ripped out of the paper as soon as my jaw retracted from the floor back to its usual home at the base of my skull. The headline on the notebook reads: "Stern Rejects the Mavericks' Protest."

For those of you who may have missed this story, here's the skinny: the Dallas Mavericks protested a game against the Indiana Pacers that was played on Nov. 23. They did so because the official scorer for the game incorrectly counted a two-point basket by Troy Murphy of the Pacers as a three-pointer with nine minutes, 59 seconds left in the second quarter. The Mavericks went on to lose the game, 111-107. Dallas owner Mark Cuban said the officials were alerted to the error. "[The] official scorer said he notified the crew, and no action was taken," Cuban told the Dallas Morning News. "We are protesting that a correctible error was not corrected."

In truth, the team may have also been protesting what was yet another poorly officiated Mavericks game by arch enemy/referee Bennett Salvatore; Coach Avery Johnson was ejected during the contest as well. But the NBA wasn't reviewing any of that — because of the protest, it had to determine whether this error was so egregious that it warranted the replay of this game from the point of the mistake.

Protested games are nothing new in sports, and they've always struck me as pathetically desperate attempts at publicizing discontent with officiating. It would take some blunder of unparalleled magnitude — like an umpire allowing the Dodgers to pinch-hit for the pitcher with a non-roster convicted child molester — for a league official to drop what amounts to a legislative atom bomb and have all or portions of a game replayed.

So not for a moment did I believe Stern or the NBA would agree with Cuban's protest, and they didn't disappoint: They rejected the gripe and kept the game in the Pacers' win column.

But the explanation of that rejection is, in my mind, one of the most underreported, damning, and absolutely stunning miscalculations of David Stern's otherwise illustrious career. It's a comment that undermines his league and a century's worth of basketball in one seemingly harmless clarification.

Stern's reason for rejecting the protest? According to wire reports, it's due to the fact that there were 34 minutes left in the game at the time of the scoring mistake, giving Dallas "substantial opportunity to overcome the one-point error."

In other words, a point stolen in the second quarter isn't as important as a point stolen in, say, the last minute of a game. Because if Murphy's trifecta had been recorded in the final moments of a tight game, there wouldn't have been "substantial opportunity" to correct it; according to this ruling, Cuban and the Mavs might have had a gripe had the mistake been made with, say, less than two minutes to go.

But what Stern has done here is officially devalue the first half — perhaps the first three quarters — of an NBA game. Think about it: any blown call, missed flagrant foul, unjust ejection, or other egregious inequity that occurs in the first half is no longer something you can complain about; suck it up, crybabies, because you've got "substantial opportunity" to get over yourselves.

It's not the first time Stern's NBA has devalued the majority of its games. When the league implemented instant replay, it did so in order for officials to finally get last-second buzzer-beating shots ruled correctly. In most cases, a close call on a 24-second violation earlier in the game would not receive an iota of the scrutiny that a potential game-winning shot did — too much time wasted and momentum broken by watching a TV monitor on the sideline.

It's still two points in the box score, no matter when the basket's scored. But according to David Stern's now-established dogma, two in the second isn't as important as two in the fourth.

It's about "substantial opportunity," after all.

To all of those critics who claim you only need to watch the last five minutes to see an entire NBA game: there's your validation.

So if your team gets jobbed in the first half by the officials, don't bother complaining. Because the first half of an NBA doesn't really matter all that much when there's still "substantial opportunity" to determine a winner.

When does that opportunity become less-than-substantial? Not sure. Obviously, David Stern believes 34 minutes left is a "substantial" amount of basketball in which to overcome an officiating mistake, so there must be a point in the game in which the opportunity to overcome an artificially inflated deficit is no longer "substantial."

I believe it's called "the point of no return." It's also the point at which the commissioner of a professional sports league admits that the majority of his games can be summarily dismissed as filler before the actual "substantial" action occurs.

Greg Wyshynski is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 11:47 AM | Comments (1)

December 7, 2007

The NFL's Paler Shade of White

Professional football used to be a game where winners were decided by objective criteria. You take a hand-off or catch a pass, then advance the ball until you're downed. Move it beyond the span of chain measuring precisely 10 yards to the link, and you get another four downs. Your goal is a well-delineated broad white line beyond which, multi-colored grasses spell out your team name or that of your opponent. Tally the scores each time you cross it and the one with the most, wins.

There was very little latitude for interpretation. If it wasn't black, then it was white.

Watching the NFL today, it is clear this is no longer the case. Yes, we still keep scores and the team with the favorable delta gets to douse its coach with ice water. But now, it is a much fuzzier matter as to how far a runner advanced, whether a catch was made, a ball tucked, an arm moved forward. Players have gotten quicker and stronger; coaches more innovative at gaining every edge. The game has grown harder to objectively officiate.

In 1986, limited use of instant replay became every official's first weapon against player evolution. Two years later, a replay official was permanently added and life was good — for awhile. Replay officials dutifully made all requisite corrections. Celluloid evidence even assisted the New England Patriots in winning the 2001 Super Bowl, and brought less dramatic justice to every team.

Alas, it didn't take long for another slide. Referees began to subordinate their own faculties to technology. Their calls took on all the slop of a drunken tightrope walker who knows there's a safety net below. On-field rulings were reduced to SWAGs awaiting correction by digitized images. Then, in 2006, they started blowing even these calls when Pittsburgh Steelers' safety Troy Polamalu quashed an Indianapolis Colts' drive with an interception during their AFC divisional playoff game. Emerging from the replay booth, referee Pete Morelli ruled the pass incomplete despite visual evidence to the contrary. The fairest arbiter of them all had been corrupted by excess diagnosis, and on the grandest stage.

That ripple has become today's whitecap of uncertainty, both on the field and along the sidelines. During the Colts' Week 13 win over the Jacksonville Jaguars, referees went behind the curtain three times in the game's first 26 plays. It's to the point where you can't recognize officials from the knees up. There's an implied mandate to scrutinize brought on by new-age technology and a fear of being wrong — or wronged.

As if the castrating effect of instant replay on the decisiveness of officials is not enough impairment to the objective determination of victor, we have the Bill Polian-era NFL now instituting uncertainty over matters exclusive of the review booth — namely, penalties.

Through the Indianapolis GM's vigilantism in neutralizing his biggest obstacle to a Super Bowl, the NFL's Competition Committee enacted more stringent rules on pass interference before the start of the 2004 season. Although the effect has been favorable to Polian's national treasure that is the cadre of Colts receivers, these rules have done nothing for the raw energy and spontaneity of the game, let alone its ability to distinguish between the better of two teams taking the field.

Week 13 featured no less than three contests involving the NFL's top teams — Dallas, Indianapolis, and New England — all directly decided by pass interference calls or its first cousin, defensive holding. Whether right or wrong, fans of each losing side — Green Bay, Jacksonville, and Baltimore, respectively — believe their team was deprived a win. This isn't how objective measurement is supposed to work.

What's worse, the replay-immune pass interference call is now being levied by popular vote. Whether a flag was merited when Miles Austin of the Cowboys and Tramon Williams of the Packers entangled their legs — Mike Pereira, Vice President of NFL Officiating, said they got it right — the several-second delay before throwing it as Texas Stadium reverberated in protest didn't help on credibility. It was akin to watching a "Dancing With the Stars" show, except that fans register their choice with catcalls rather than a 900 call. Pereira later explained on NFL Network's Official Review that the delay was due to the intervention of a sideline judge who apparently had a better angle on the play. In other words, Polian might be watching.

Back in Indy, a 28-25 victory over Jacksonville that virtually assured the home team of another AFC South division title was aided by a touchdown drive prolonged by a third down pass interference call on Jags' corner Rashean Mathis. There was no delay in making this call, but Jacksonville fans have to see Mathis as the latest in a line of defensive back victims of the fan-tom flags that seem to drop from the ceiling each time crowd noise — real or recorded — shakes the RCA Dome rafters.

In another Official Review segment, Pereira went on to defend the pivotal fourth-and-five holding called on Baltimore's Jamaine Winborne that gave New England a first-and-goal, ultimately resulting in Jabar Gaffney's winning touchdown catch with 44 seconds remaining. Those flags were admittedly thrown into the teeth of hostile objections from the partisan crowd, but Ravens linebacker Bart Scott's uncharacteristic tantrum spoke volumes on the growing anarchy in officiating even as teammate Chris McAlister's words prophesied its natural evolution.

"It's hard to go out there and play the Patriots and the refs at the same time," McAlister quipped to the Associated Press after the game. "They put the crown on top of them. They want them to win."

There was a day we as fans could simply laugh at a ref crew's incompetence, and christen them in quasi-derogatory names like zebras. But now, their motivation has come into question and with it, the integrity of the game.

Various remedies ranging from reviewable penalties to full-time refs have been proffered, but as of yet, no fix is imminent. Any genuine movement to determine Sunday's winners with more credibility than America determines the best dance pair has to begin with less intervention on the part of the Competition Committee. It is time to put football back in football.

Until that day, we must weather the newer, more subjective standards now employed in adjudicating the advancement of ball between goal line and goal line, broad and white as each thankfully remains.

Posted by Bob Ekstrom at 11:14 AM | Comments (0)

December 6, 2007

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 14

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Chicago @ Washington (-3)

Is it me, or is it suddenly not that big of a deal if you don't have the NFL Network? After last Thursday's huge contest between the Packers and Cowboys, both 10-1 at the time, this Thursday's game pitting the 5-7 Bears at the 5-7 Redskins seems quite anticlimactic, much unlike the dramatic conclusion of Thursday's Crime Scene Investigation, viewable on CBS by anyone with a 1972 Sylvania and rabbit-ears. And, for those lucky few of you with the NFL Network, you can easily flip over to CSI after a scoreless first quarter in Washington.

"Gil Grissom always makes the right calls," said Joe Gibbs in a post-game press conference after last Sunday's 17-16 loss to the Bills, "in the lab and in the field, even when he's hooking up with a subordinate. I'm sure he's even aware that calling back-to-back timeouts results in a 15-yard unsportsmanlike penalty. If icing a kicker means giving him a 15-yard shorter field goal, then I'm guilty. Thanks, Mike Shanahan, for giving impressionable old men like me the idea that the timeout ploy works. It doesn't. I feel terrible. If I were Charles Barkley, I'd feel 'turble.' And I'd have the worst golf swing in the history of mankind. I take full responsibility for the loss. I'm inconsolable. Not even a phone call from fellow timeout blunderer Chris Webber could make me feel better. Now, I'd like to open up the floor to questions, but I absolutely refuse to answer any concerning Coors Light."

Like the Redskins, Chicago suffered a playoff hope-damaging home defeat, surrendering 14 points to the Giants in the fourth quarter to lose, 21-16. It was an strange game for the Bears, as Rex Grossman had no turnovers and Devin Hester had no touchdowns.

"We usually get one or the other," says Lovie Smith, "often in bunches. It's not often our defense creates more turnovers than Rex and we still lose. But what can we do about that? And it's not often that Devin has less than 50 return yards. That's a result of teams showing their cowardice and not kicking to him. But if we allow enough touchdowns, the opposition will have to kick to him. We want to get the most out of Devin while he's at his peak. The last thing we want is for him to get bored, retire, and chase a childhood dream of playing minor league baseball, badly, I might add."

If you do have the NFL Network and want to add a little excitement to an otherwise meaningless game, then play the NFL Network drinking game. The rules are simple: every time Bryant Gumbel flubs a call, you must drink one swallow. If Chris Collinsworth actually corrects Gumbel, then you must drink an entire six pack. Cheers!

Chicago wins, 23-21.

Carolina @ Jacksonville (-10½)

Carolina snapped a five-game losing streak and improved to 5-7 with a 31-17 win over the 49ers. John Fox avoided a "false start" penalty and started Vinny Testaverde instead of David Carr, and Fox generally made the right calls, guiding the Panthers to their first home win in over a year.

"Hey, in a season like this," says Fox, "it's not much of a milestone, but we'll take it. Now, it's on to our next milestone: achieving mathematical elimination from the playoffs. I'm no mathematician, but I know our magic number can be no more than two. And my magic number as a coach can't be more than four. And David Carr's magic number is 86. And speaking of magic numbers, this one is less than 70 and greater than 68, and our cheerleaders have an affinity for doing it in bathroom stalls in the state of Florida. It's that kind of blanket coverage that we're looking for from our secondary. I don't know what it is about this organization, but every major occurrence takes place in a very small space. If it's not a bathroom stall, it's a car trunk. If it's not a car trunk, it's inside of David Carr's head."

Jacksonville's already strong defensive unit will receive a boost with the return of defensive tackle Marcus Stroud, back after serving a four-game suspension. It's a particular blessing to the Jaguar defensive front, which hopes to record more than the one sack they registered against Peyton Manning.

"Manning's not known for his speed," says Stroud, "unless he's racing Vinny Testaverde. Vinny runs the 100-meter dash and needs a support vehicle. His seven-step drop is slower than some 12-step programs. In his defense, Vinny's a very smart quarterback, which is a trait that's attributable to his age. This guy's seen it all: stone, bronze, ice, all the ages. It will take some getting used to, but I guess I'll be respectful and say 'sir' before I sack him."

Jacksonville knows they have to stop only one player — Steve Smith. Against Carolina, you can triple-team him and still have safety help. Jaguars win, 30-13.

Dallas @ Detroit (+10½)

With their NFC superiority firmly established and a long, 10-day rest under their belts, the Cowboys are loose and re-energized, a direct reflection of the personality of their quarterback, Tony Romo, who's destined for the Cowboy Hall of Fame, or, at the very least, earning a moderate wage on the autograph circuit when his playing days are done. Now, the Cowboys head to Ford Field to take on the sputtering Lions, who will be without star wideout Roy Williams.

"Well, it looks like Jon Kitna's 10-win guarantee is likely to come true," says Romo, who spent the Thanksgiving weekend with the family of his dimwitted starlet of a girlfriend, Jessica Simpson. "Detroit's opponents will probably win 10 games this year. Kitna's preseason guarantee is looking rather foolish. But it's still not as foolish as charging $100,000 for a seat license in our $1 billion stadium in Arlington. Who pays that much for the right to buy a seat? I know Michael Irvin once paid $100,000 for a seat license, but he got to keep her for eight hours."

The Lions have gone from sitting pretty four weeks ago, when they were 6-2, to sitting ducks, after their fourth-straight loss to fall to 6-6.

"No need to fret," says Rod Marinelli. "We're bowl eligible, and we're set to host the Motor City Bowl, likely against a lower-tier bowl qualifier, against whom we should be favored. Things are looking great for us. But the news gets even better. Matt Millen's been invited on a bird-hunting trip with Dick Cheney and Bobby Knight, and he's been instructed to wear feathers."

Dallas wins, 34-14.

Miami @ Buffalo (-7)

At 6-6, the Bills are on the cusp on the playoff race, one game behind the frontrunners for that final spot, the Titans and the Browns. Buffalo will likely need to win all of their remaining four games, and even then may need some help from the opponents of Tennessee and Cleveland.

"The hardest part may not be actually winning those four games," says Dick Jauron, "but convincing my players they can win those last four. But my guys are a pretty gullible bunch, just like jurors in an O.J. Simpson trial. However, I think it will take more than just a pair of black leather gloves to convince my guys that they can do this."

For the 0-12 Dolphins, their destiny as the only 0-16 team in NFL history is fast approaching, as is a Week 16 matchup that's likely to pit the 0-14 Dolphins against the 14-0 Patriots (assuming both teams reach those points). That game would draw comparisons to Miami's 1985 upset win over the Bears, which ended Chicago's bid for an undefeated season.

"We're prepped for a breakthrough," says Cam Cameron, who, by comparison, would be about 0-121 were he a Major League Baseball manager. "Oh, I'm not talking about winning a game. Scientists are on the verge of a breakthrough — to fuel automobiles with suckiness. We've been selected as official provider of fuel. Plus, we've received some noble words of encouragement from members of the 1976 Buccaneers. Not encouragement to win, mind you, but to continue losing."

Bills win, 23-7.

NY Giants @ Philadelphia (-2½)

What do the Giants and Eagles have in common? Inconsistent quarterback play. How do they differ? The Giants get there inconsistent quarterback play from a single source, Eli Manning, while the Eagles get it from two, Donovan McNabb and A.J. Feeley.

"Some have questioned whether Eli has the necessary mentality to succeed under the scrutiny of the cavalcade of New York media and fans," says Tom Coughlin. "I'm here to say, definitively, that he might. The naked city never closes it eyes. It's like a jungle out there. Sometimes I wonder how he keeps from going under. The words of Grandmaster Flash and Kurtis Blow are always prophetic, and dope. It's tough being the brother of Peyton Manning. Critics question Eli's football smarts and decision-making ability under pressure. Well, they must understand that Eli has been compared all his life to Peyton, who is probably the smartest quarterback and best decision-maker under pressure of all time. I'm not saying Eli is dumb, but the is a large discrepancy between Peyton's intelligence and that of Eli, probably equal to that of Charlie and Raymond Babbitt from Rain Man."

After last week's Feeley mistake-fest, in which he threw three interceptions to Seahawks linebacker Lofa Tatupu, normally composed Eagle head coach Andy Reid is miffed, and ready to bust a move, preferably to a quarterback that doesn't get hurt every week or throw costly interceptions.

"Don't push me, 'cause I'm close to the edge," says Reid. "I'm trying not to lose my head. And Phat Farm is not just my clothier, it's a destination. Anyway, I'd like to send a message to whomever may be starting at quarterback for us this Sunday: it's called survival. Either play well, or you'll end up on the street, with the pimps, the pushers, the sharks, and vultures. Now, I know McNabb's capable of growing an afro and fitting in on the street, but Feeley's well-equipped to push a shopping cart full of aluminum cans, as long as there's not a linebacker of Samoan descent competing for those same cans."

Giants win, 21-20.

Oakland @ Green Bay (-10)

Despite injuries to his right elbow and left shoulder that knocked him out of last week's game at Dallas, Brett Favre will make his 250th consecutive start on Sunday against the Raiders. It's just another in a long list of heroic efforts in the career of the Packer great, who deals with pain like mortal men deal with blinking their eyes — involuntarily.

"I wouldn't miss a game against the Raiders for anything," says Favre, whose acting is so bad he failed a screen test to play himself in the sequel to There's Something About Mary, tentatively titled Beans and (Bubba) Franks (the Packer tight end got the part). "Green Bay and Oakland have a long tradition of tough-as-nails players and chubby, Super Bowl-winning coaches who have shrines dedicated to me. I'm just tickled to be a part of that tradition. I don't consider myself a hero, although I do play one in the Japanese sci-fi flick Brett Favre Versus Lester Hayes. In that picture, I vanquish Hayes with my fiery tobacco spit, which I launch from my mouth with supersonic speed before he can neutralize me with his radioactive stickum, which he secrets from a gland in his jeri-curled hair. As for winning Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of the Year, I'm flattered to the point of ambivalence. I hope they send me a free copy, because I damn sure can't afford a subscription."

Raiders owner Al Davis is not a fan of the late-fall weather in Green Bay, but that won't stop him from making the trip to Lambeau.

"This may be my last chance to see Brett Favre play," says Davis, "so I'm not going to let something like the weather keep me from doing what I want to do. Heck, I don't even let things like garlic and crucifixes keep me from roaming the night air in search of the secrets to my prolonged vitality: prune juice, jet-black hair dye, and leather Raiders jackets. Obviously, Favre has found secrets of his own to maintain his health. I haven't seen that much of a pain threshold since Cactus Jack and Terry Funk engaged in a 'Bed of Nails' match, which just happened to be the entertainment at my 70th birthday bash. Or so they tell me. Anyway, I'm looking for my Raiders to throw a kink into the Packers' plans for an easy win."

It won't happen, Count. Favre throws for two scores, and Charles Woodson sacks Josh McCown, forcing a fumble. Woodson picks up the fumble, quickly checks around to make sure the NFL hasn't suddenly invented some crazy new variation of the 'tuck rule,' and takes off for the end zone, where he flashes the 'Heisman pose' after scoring. Green Bay wins, 31-17.

Pittsburgh @ New England (-13)

After two tough, hard-fought wins, have the Patriots been suitably softened up for an upset? New England has won their last two games by three points each, sending their margin of victory average plummeting.

"We like keeping the fans excited," says Tom Brady, who's taken more hits in the last two weeks than Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown did on their honeymoon. "And I like keeping the 1972 Dolphins on the edges of their seats, but just close enough that they don't fall out and break a hip. It was mighty gracious of Don Shula to visit the booth and say that he would gladly call Coach Belichick if we were to break the 1972 Dolphins' record. Hey, I'm no fool. I know phones have an asterisk button. Hey Shula, Belichick's got two words for you: '**** ***!' And I've got two words for the Baltimore Ravens: 'yeah, boy!' You really think the NFL is doing us favors with favorable officiating? On the contrary. They made us play three straight night games. Everybody knows artificial lighting makes it harder to film coaches' signals. So all you conspiracy theorists cool your jets. There is no conspiracy. Incidentally, Oliver Stone is directing our 2007 highlight reel."

The Steelers welcome the opportunity to ruin New England's quest for the perfect season, and they also welcome the chance to play on solid footing. After two games on the sloppy and saturated Heinz Field turf, the Steelers and their blitz-from-anywhere defense will look to slow the Patriot offense at Gillette Stadium.

"I've seen better playing conditions at Woodstock '69 in the rain," says defensive coordinator Dick LeBeau. "And I know. I was there. Guitar tech and roadie for Jimi Hendrix. He didn't burn guitars for the spectacle; they sounded like crap. I didn't know the whammy bar from the cash bar. Jimi kept me around though, mostly because I designed the defenses that kept us undefeated in pickup football games on tour. Santana's band couldn't touch us, but Mama Cass was a one-lady wrecking crew on the Mamas and the Papas' offensive line. But she was susceptible to the 'swim' move, and sandwiches."

This would appear to be the last legitimate shot for a team to beat the Patriots. Let's face it. If the Pats are still undefeated against the Giants in the season's final week, there's no way they'll lose to the G-Men. The Steelers have been gearing up for this game for weeks. Hmmm. Do you think Troy Polamalu could have played against the Dolphins or Bengals? Of course he could, but why waste him? Now, he'll be ready to go in Pittsburgh's biggest game of the year. Will he be a factor? You bet. Brady best not take his eyes off of Polamalu, lest he lose his chance to secure a lock of the wild Samoan's immense head of hair, which he plans to present to Giselle Bundchen, who has always been envious of Polamalu's body.

Patriots win, 28-20.

San Diego @ Tennessee (Pick 'em)

The Chargers could very well be facing a Tennessee squad that they'll see again in the playoffs, assuming Tennessee can capture the second wild card spot. That's also assuming the Chargers can maintain their lead in the AFC West and take the division crown. Of course, those are two fairly large assumptions.

"Hey, that's exactly the same line I used to pick up my wife," says Jeff Fisher. "A slap in the face and 18 months later, we were married. But enough about monstrous assumptions with perky insinuations. There's the old cliche about assuming: when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me. Whomever said that first should be shot, but I sure would like their residuals on tacky poster and refrigerator magnet sales."

Like the Titans, the Chargers like their running game to dictate their offensive flow. If LaDainian Tomlinson finds room to run, then the pressure falls off of quarterback Philip Rivers to make things happen. If LenDale White and Chris Brown can find success against the Chargers' defense, then Vince Young doesn't have to waste his time dropping back to pass, and, upon finding no open receivers, taking off on a scramble and making idiotic defenders bite on pump fakes that take place five yards past the line of scrimmage.

"I love seeing guys fall for that," says Norv Turner, "almost as much as I love seeing Brian Bosworth chasing Bo Jackson. Anyway, we're certainly concerned about the Titans rushing capabilities. And Young is much more dangerous on the loose out of the pocket with a ball in his hand than he is confined to a desk with a No. 2 pencil. But we're more concerned with the Titans rushing defense now that Albert Haynesworth has returned to the lineup. Anytime Haynesworth steps onto the field, you got to be aware of him, especially if you're lying face-up on the ground, helmetless."

Sounds like you're afraid of him, Norv. I would be, too. You can't go through him. You definitely don't want to go under him. Just go around him. Avoid him altogether.

Tomlinson's yardage is limited, but he does score on a short run, and Nate Kaeding kicks two field goals. Chargers win, 20-17.

St. Louis @ Cincinnati (-6½)

What happens when two of the NFL's worst scoring defenses hook up for a battle in Cincinnati's Paul Brown Stadium?

"Besides Pete Rose taking the 'over?'" says Scott Linehan, whose Rams have won three of their last four, which is impressive, except when preceded by an eight-game losing streak. "You know, they called Paul Brown 'the father of the modern offense.' I think he'd be amazed if he could see the advances offenses have made since his time. He'd also be amazed at the job offers he'd likely receive. I'm not sure if there's a 'father of the modern defense,' but I'm sure if he were alive today, he'd soon be dead when once he saw the Bengals and Rams defenses play."

One thing's for sure: neither of these two offenses will be idling like a drunk Tony LaRussa at a stoplight.

Bengals win, 33-30.

Tampa Bay @ Houston (+3)

The Bucs practically sealed the NFC South title with a 27-23 win over the Saints when Luke McCown hit Jerammy Stevens with a four-yard touchdown pass with four seconds left. The win gave Tampa a three-game lead in the division with four games to go. In the South, that's a lead comparable to Secretariat's 31-length margin of victory in the 1973 Belmont Stakes, the result of the other four horses in the race pitting while Secretariat stayed out.

"Hey, guess what Secretariat and I have in common?" asks John Gruden. "We both wear jockeys. And, we've both been ridden by Ron Turcotte. But, in my defense, that was the result of a Super Bowl celebration gone terribly wrong. I could have done without the riding crop, although I guess when wearing a saddle, you have to expect it. It left me hollering 'yay' and 'neigh.'"

The Bucs will face the Texans minus starting quarterback Matt Schaub, who separated his left shoulder early in Houston's loss to the Titans last week. Key injuries have undermined Gary Kubiak's attempts to make the Texans a challenger in the tough AFC South. Schaub is questionable, which means if the Texans are to beat Tampa, they'll have to do it under the direction of backup quarterback Sage Rosenfels.

"Hey, for the last time," pleads Kubiak, "I'm not Dom Capers. I've made good decisions for this team. Now people are beginning to understand why we passed on Reggie Bush. And, it was my idea to unload David Carr. Now, we have a large cast of unknowns playing for us, so fans have a hard time recognizing some of our players. I can't tell you the number of times my players have identified themselves as 'Texans' to people on the street, only to have those people reply 'So am I.' If I could change our nickname, I would. Maybe to something a little more specific, like the 'Houston Houstonians.'"

Tampa wins, 26-17.

Arizona @ Seattle (-7)

Revenge will be on the mind of the Seahawks on Sunday. Their only NFC West loss this year came at the hands of the Cardinals in Week 2. In that game, Matt Leinart passed for 299 yards and Neil Rackers kicked the game-winner, giving Arizona a 23-20 win. Should Seattle fail in their bid for vengeance, the race in the West tightens considerably, as the Cardinals would then trail Seattle by one game, and would hold the tiebreaker advantage.

"You've really got to hand it to Kurt Warner," says Hasselbeck. "After Leinart went down, Warner stepped right in and resurrected himself as a legitimate, big-time veteran quarterback. Warner's rise to stardom, from a simple grocer to Super Bowl champion, reminds me a lot of the life of Jesus Christ, who was a carpenter before steadily working his way up to a Pro Bowl-caliber saviour. Warner is an inspiration to everyone, especially to me and others like me, more talented quarterbacks who have never won a Super Bowl."

Warner may be without his two big wide receivers, Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin, both of whom are nursing leg injuries. And, with oft-injured running back Shaun (of the Dead) Alexander back from the dead, coupled with Maurice Morris, the Seahawks have an efficient, if not spectacular, ground game.

The Seahawks defend their turf and clinch the NFC West title with a 28-20 win.

Minnesota @ San Francisco (+7)

It's clear, that on one leg or two, Minnesota's Adrian Peterson is the best running back in the NFL. So good, in fact, that the Chicago Bears named one of their own running backs after the Vikings star. So, San Francisco's Frank Gore, from "da U," will experience first hand the power and speed of Peterson, and will reluctantly face the "da inconvenient truth," that Peterson is the future of the NFL.

"Sometimes I amaze even myself," says Peterson. "As you may have heard, I developed my skills and speed running from rabid possums and East Coast college recruiters in my formative years in Palestine, Texas. And I sometimes had to navigate the occasional Holy War between the native Palestinians and the Israelites. I got plunked with a few stones, but I survived. Now, I get to use those skills on the 49ers. You know, if you gave Brad Childress a pick, and old hat, and a mining pan, plus knocked a few of his teeth out, he'd look like a gold rusher. And if you gave him a helmet and some pads, plus a quick glance at the playbook, he could play quarterback for San Francisco."

Do you get the feeling this could be one of those games in which the Vikes hold the 49ers to negative rushing yards, or something in the single digits? Then, realizing they can't run the ball, the 49ers take to the air and throw three or four interceptions, a couple of which are returned for touchdowns. Meanwhile, Peterson and Chester Taylor are piling up the yards, and Peterson is dropping moves on the field that leaves the 49er defenders grasping for air. Minnesota could be that late qualifier for the playoffs that no one wants to play.

Vikings win, 30-13.

Cleveland @ NY Jets (+3½)

Rest assured the NFL's competition committee will by reviewing the league's "force out" rule this offseason, probably at the behest of Cleveland coach Romeo Crenel. Trailing the Cardinals 27-21 last week in Glendale with time expiring, Derek Anderson found Kellen Winslow with a long pass in the front corner of the end zone. Winslow made the catch, but was clearly forced out of bounds. The official on duty called Winslow 'out,' and Arizona held on.

"To err is human," says Crenel. "To forgive is not in my vocabulary. Dost thou revel in my agony, you foolish zebra? As well, you taunt my receiver with your wicked chants of 'Soldier boy! Soldier boy!'"

In an official statement from the NFL, a league spokesman said Crenel "doth protest too much" and advised him to "get thee to a nunnery."

The Jets 40-13 drubbing of the winless Dolphins was a bright spot in a season of dark. Two of New York's wins have come against Miami, and Eric Mangini is still mystified how a playoff team from 2006 could fall so far. Mystified to the point of anger.

"If you only knew how often I've wanted to use my Motorola Razr as a weapon," says Mangini. "There have been several occasions this year that I've wanted to emasculate Chad Pennington, but I realized they were just empty threats. Not that I couldn't do it, but that it was anatomically impossible to do so."

The Browns are only 3½-point favorites? Cleveland can't get respect anywhere, not even in the corner of the end zone. Maybe that's because they have the worst defense in the NFL. And that defense will cost them dearly. Not this week, but in the race for that final wild card spot, or against the No. 3 seed when the playoffs begin.

Browns win, 26-20.

Kansas City @ Denver (-6 ½)

Okay, Mike Shanahan. What do you want first, the good news or the bad news?

"Well, before I make a decision, I think I'll call a meaningless timeout, and force you to think about it," says the Bronco head coach, whose blood runs Denver orange, which also happens to be his skin tone.

Wait a minute, coach. You're the one with the decision to make. Not me.

"See, I've rattled you already. And I thought only Sebastian Janikowski fell for that trick. Okay, give me the good news."

Travis Henry won his appeal with the NFL and won't face a drug suspension.

"Yeah, I heard," replies Shanahan. "It couldn't have come at a better time. The new crop is in. And Travis is hosting a harvest festival under the fluorescent lights in his 8,000-square foot basement. So, the bad news?"

John Elway has no plans to come out of retirement. Shanny? You okay? Shanny, are you okay? Are you okay, Shanny? Shanny, are you okay? Are you okay, Shanny?

Like Shanahan, Herman Edwards has been frustrated by inconsistent quarterback play. In last Sunday's loss to the Chargers, Edwards had to call on third-stringer Tyler Thigpen to clean up after starter Damon Huard was hurt late in the game.

"It was a tough situation for Thigpen to be in," says Edwards, "but I liked the way he handled himself, despite what the statistics say. And I especially like the way a cloud of dust follows him wherever he goes. That's Herman Edwards football right there. And this is Herman Edwards truthfulness right here: I still can't say for sure whether Larry Johnson's ankle injury is season-ending or much less severe. For some reason, I think it somehow gives us an advantage when I don't give straight answers."

Here's a straight answer: both these teams suck. Denver's given up more points than every team except for Cleveland. Kansas City has scored fewer than all but two teams.

Broncos win, 22-17.

Indianapolis @ Baltimore (-9½)

Peyton Manning relishes a challenge. Whether that's identifying a coverage on third and eight with the shot clock dwindling and a safety showing blitz, then changing the play to find Dallas Clark for a 14-yard gain, or ad-libbing a clever line to make that Gatorade commercial just a tad funnier, then Manning is golden.

"Is picking apart the Raven secondary more satisfying than using my face and my perfect comic timing to lure naive consumers into purchases based solely on a subliminal need to be like me?" asks Manning. "I'd say it's about equal, although getting Ed Reed to bite on purchasing an overpriced Sony HD flat-screen monitor with the 18-year service plan was quite pleasing. Sucker. But the highlight of my career so far has been producing such a high number of ads that I've obviously influenced the normally reclusive Joe Montana into doing spots for the NFL Network. I'm sure he was heavily compensated. Any player who demanded cash to appear along with all the living Super Bowl MVPs would obviously demand high dollar to appear as a cook in the ad."

The Ravens gave the Patriots a serious scare on Monday, losing 27-24 on Tom Brady's touchdown pass to Jabar Gaffney with under a minute remaining. Baltimore's defense had Brady's quarterback sneak stopped on fourth down, but, in yet another instance of irresponsible time out calling, defensive coordinator Rex Ryan had signaled for a time out well before Brady's sneak. Apparently, Ryan called the timeout because, after extensive and exhaustive study of the Patriot offense, he recognized that, in similar situations, New England likes to call the sneak. So, to ensure that his defense knew what was coming, he called the time out to inform them. But it looked like they already knew what was coming. Players study film, too, you know.

Not surprisingly, the Ravens' defenders were irate, as were most of the fans in attendance, which included Rex's father Buddy, who later took a swing at his son. Linebacker Bart Scott was especially peeved, picking up two unsportsmanlike conduct penalties, one for tossing an official's yellow flag into the stands. Yellow is also the color of the receipt he gets to keep as proof that he paid the fine that is soon to be levied. It all amounts to the look of resignation you saw on Brian Billick's face after the game. All he needs to do now is sign his resignation, and if he wants to hum the theme to The Fall Guy while he does it, then more power to him.

Colts win, 24-13.

New Orleans @ Atlanta (+5)

Who's that chubby man dressed in red and black with a sack full of goodies for Falcons coach Bobby Petrino? No, it's not Santa Claus with a bag of gifts. Why, I think that's Grady Jackson in his old Atlanta uniform, ready to deliver holiday blessings to Petrino with a few swings of his pillow case full of oranges. And speaking of orange, Michael Vick was in his bright orange holiday best when he donated $1 million to the care of pit bulls confiscated on his property. Now that's the Christmas spirit.

"Unlike Santa Claus," says DeAngelo Hall, "Reggie Bush will never reach the iconic status of the greatest gift-giver the world has ever known. But Reggie's got gifts aplenty, and it's things that kids really want, like rent money, and bad tosses to wide receivers on reverses."

The Saints probably blew any chance of the playoffs with last week's loss to the Bucs. The Falcons are playing for next year, and a tasty selection in the April draft.

New Orleans win, 24-20.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:59 AM | Comments (0)

Slant Pattern Mailbag by Proxy

It's time to blow the dust off a gimmick I haven't employed in a couple years, and it's a gimmick I stole from "The Daily Show" way back in the Craig Kilborn era: answering letters to the editor of other publications.

This week, I'll be filling in for Stewart Mandel and answer his weekly college football mailbag.

"All of this "plus-one" talk is great, but how quickly we forget the 2005 season. What happens when two teams clearly are head-and-shoulders above the rest. In 2005, would it have made sense to have USC play a 9-2 Ohio State team and have Texas play a 10-1 Penn State team? The "plus-one" would have been unnecessary in '05." — CPT Casey O'Neill, Fort Worth, TX

It's a good point, Casey, and demonstrates why a plus-one scenario isn't much better than what we have now, although there have been many more years in the BCS era when there are not two clear front-runners, than years when there are.

This is all the more reason to have a playoff. A playoff wouldn't end all arguments, but it would be preferable to argue about which 8-4 team was gypped out of a No. 16 seed than arguing about which 11-1 or even 12-0 team was robbed of a shot at a national title, like we do now.

"Why doesn't the BCS make a rule that states you have to win your conference championship to be in the BCS championship? This seems to be the consensus of the voters seeing as though it is LSU and not Georgia in the national championship." — Austin, Arlington, MA

Mark Richt was complaining about the same thing when Chris Myers somberly interviewed him during the BCS selection show. But there is no consensus of BCS-effecting voters that feel that way. If they did, Missouri would be in the BCS, as they at least won their division, and not Kansas. That decision was just stupefying, but I'm getting off-track, and you asked abut the championship game, not the BCS as a whole.

There's been some teams, such a Nebraska a few years back, to make the BCS Championship Game without winning their conference, so it's hard to nail down an unwavering BCS voter preference. Like with all of us, the voters take a lot of things into consideration when trying to decide who is better — and let's not forget that the voters only make up a portion of the BCS formula.

"Since the BCS matchups are indeed horrendous, which teams would you have matched and why?" — Carlos Gomez, San Antonio, TX

Well, beside the idiotic exclusion of Missouri that I touched on, I don't really feel these matchups are "horrendous." Oklahoma/West Virginia could break rushing records. Illinois/USC should be close, and features two hot teams, and I think Illinois is going to pull the upset. I'm less excited about Kansas/Virginia Tech. Hawaii and Georgia has the same David and Goliath appeal that Boise State/Oklahoma did last year.

If they threw out the formula and implemented a "Kevin decides" rule, I would have made it this way, besides the LSU/OSU championship game:

• Oklahoma/West Virginia (like that the way it is, as stated).
• USC/Illinois (ditto).
• Hawaii/Virginia Tech (I don't think Hawaii will reproduce last year's Boise State magic, but they could keep it close against VT and Missouri, and VT is a bigger name).
• Missouri/Georgia (the leftovers; Cotton Bowl II).

"I propose a new rule. If LSU fans stake their claim to the national championship as 'we are undefeated in regulation,' then they must acknowledge that USC won a national title in 2003, as USC was undefeated in regulation that year. Agree?" — Nat, Atlanta, GA

Ugh, they're saying that? How spurious. They can say LSU didn't lose in regulation, I can say they twice didn't win in regulation. Tomato, tomahto. Besides, if there was no overtime, the plays being called in the fourth quarter of those two games would have likely been quite different, and they may well have ended up with an LSU loss or two.

"Couldn't we start a boycott of the national championship game and give them their lowest TV ratings ever? I mean, with all the people who hate this system, I think it could work." — R. Burns, Los Angeles, CA

No, it wouldn't, because not enough people would join you. I won't, and I hate the present system. It's still college football, though, a positive in my life, so it's not worth boycotting, writing my congressman, or whatever. Why is it that we only remember how unimportant this stuff is when a player gets crippled? There are so, so many important ways you can expend your time and psychic energy on stuff that really matters, so why not get focused on those things instead? Get mad about the things that are worth getting mad about.

Now that I'm done preaching, let me remind you that, as you know, this is all driven by money, and that's why there will be a playoff on the long run. Someone's finally, finally going to figure out that it is more profitable to give people what they want, than not. I say give it ... 15 years.

"How do you think the 2007 season will ultimately be remembered? As the season that busted the BCS? As the season that ushered in the modern era of parity? Or just the most exciting season ever? What do you predict the legacy of the 2007 season will be for the future of college football?" — Foster, Howard, PA.

Great question. This has certainly been the greatest season in my memory. Upsets are my favorite part of sports, college football is my favorite sport, and wow, did those two things meet in abundance this year. Plus, it could be capped off by my Buckeyes winning a national championship, after commencing with Michigan losing to Appalachian State? And it could derail the BCS and pave the way for something better? Yeah, I must be dying or something.

Posted by Kevin Beane at 10:14 AM | Comments (0)

December 5, 2007

The Quarter Season NHL Review

"For now, it's Gerber's position to lose."

That's a quote lifted from my previous column. After reaching the 25-game mark, perhaps it's time for an NHL first-quarter review.

As of this writing, the Ottawa Senators have lost seven straight games, their last a 4-3 shootout bruising by the Tampa Bay Lightning. (Martin Gerber was pulled twice in the last week.) The Pittsburgh Penguins appear to be turning a corner on their season, finally making a push to equal, if not surpass, last season's 105-point campaign. (The Pens' 26 points are the same as this time last year.)

The Philadelphia Flyers' Riley Cote was suspended for three games for a leaping elbow to the head of Dallas Stars rookie defenseman Matt Niskanen. It's the team's fifth suspension this season and has earned it a stern warning from NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman and disciplinarian Colin Campbell, NHL Vice President of Operations. (The previous four: Scott Hartnell and Randy Jones, two games; Steve Downie, 20 games; Jesse Boulerice 25 games.)

Howard Berger, the Toronto reporter who claimed New York Rangers loud mouth Sean Avery spewed over-the-line, cancer-related trash-talk to Toronto Maple Leafs forward and cancer patient Jason Blake, has retracted his statements from earlier last month, claiming his "reporting does not appear to have been accurate."

And that's all happened in the last 96 hours. So it's been a busy NHL season thus far. Some things haven't changed, like the Senators and the Detroit Red Wings leading their respective conferences. Other things have: last year's Stanley Cup-winning Anaheim Ducks have fallen to the 11th spot in the West (28 pts); and the Flyers' abysmal 2006-2007 performance led to changes in goal, defense, the heady addition of free agent Daniel Briere, and possession of the No. 4 spot in the East (30 pts). [1]

Of course, for DirecTV subscribers, the launch of the NHL Network has provided the best highlights on TV (NHL: On the Fly) — even if that means tolerating endless reruns of awful commercials. (Particularly the "NHL fights cancer" clip with raging huge nerd Josh Groban as the soundtrack, and the devastatingly tired Darryl Sittler interview where he discusses his pre-game meal and whether or not it led to his 1976 record-setting 10-point game as a Maple Leaf.)

The NHL's Board of Governors addressed general league concerns last week, including the ever-present drop in scoring. The first post-lockout season average of 6.2 goals per game has fallen to 5.4 so far in 2007-2008. Bigger nets and size restrictions on goalie equipment have been the dominant alterations suggested. [2] However, Bettman assured observers that no immediate decisions would be made, "No conclusions were reached, but we're continuing to watch the trends, obviously. Scoring is down a little, and we're looking at that." The two most substantial developments to surface were the approved sale of the Nashville Predators to a local group of investors and the 2008-2009 schedule adjustments.

With the influx of high-caliber rookies entering the league in recent years — Sidney Crosby, Alex Ovechkin, Evgeni Malkin, Jack Johnson, Jonathan Toews, Patrick Kane — fans have been clamoring for their teams to host the new talent, a desire often incompatible with the current schedule. Unlike the previous three seasons where the NHL has attempted to stoke interest and forcibly create divisional rivalries, starting next year all 30 teams will play at least once. No longer will teams compete against their division opponents eight times per season, as they do now. Teams will play 24 divisional games, 40 against the rest of the conference, and 18 against the other conference. Each team will face all 15 from the opposite conference, with three home-and-home matchups.

United States players have a new legend to look up to. Mike Modano surpassed NHL great Phil Housley (1,232 pts.) as the highest scoring U.S.-born player in the NHL, posting his 1,233rd career point on November 7th. Modano struggled early, as the weight of the record grew heavier. "There was a lot of stress. Once I got it, I was able to just go out and play my game," Modano explained. The speedy 37-year-old has since tallied 10 points and his Stars have amassed an 8-2-1 record. Barring injuries, Modano's 1,243 career points (515g, 728a) will likely increase. (How much this has to do with the firing of team president Jim Lites and general manager Doug Armstrong, and the hiring of co-general managers Brett Hull and Les Jackson, is unknown.)

Not to be entirely outdone by his Team USA teammate, Jeremy Roenick (JR) surpassed the 500-goal milestone. The flashy forward sits at the number three position, behind Housley, with 1,183 points (501g, 682a) — a slim 60 points behind Modano. But JR's health continues to plague his efforts to move up the list. Speculation involving his retirement has become a regular offseason conversation.

Some teams have ostensibly found their footing after early season firings put new coaches behind their benches. Although Dave Tippett avoided getting axed along with his former bosses in Dallas, others were not so lucky. Bob Hartley was the first casualty of the season. The Atlanta Thrashers went 0-6-0 under Hartley, who was replaced by general manager Don Waddell as interim coach. Atlanta has gone 12-7-1 under Waddell, and left wing Ilya Kovalchuk is leading the league in goals (22) and second in points (37) behind Tampa's Vinny Lecavalier (41). Kovalchuk was named the NHL's "First Star" for the month of November. Rare does a player's offensive potency buckle a goalie's knees like Kovalchuk's. (And he's started getting physical, too.)

After sinking to the bottom of the league, the Washington Capitals sent Glen Hanlon to the coaches' unemployment line. (Something last year's Flyers know a little bit about.) Hanlon was canned 21 games into the Caps' worst start since 1981. "He understood that it had to be done. [We] had some concerns about whether he was losing the team," remarked general manager George McPhee. Bruce Boudreau, who was coaching the Caps' American Hockey League affiliate Hershey Bears, was promoted to interim head coach. Said Boudreau, "It's unfortunate because Glen was a good friend of mine ... but at the same time, I've [waited] 32 years for this opportunity." Although Washington remains dead last in league points, improvements have accompanied the coaching change and Ovechkin has continued to score, ranking second in goals (20) and ninth in points (32)

And in an admirable decision of cut-the-shit proportions, Wes Walz finally hung up the skates after an honest self-inspection of his game revealed he could no longer perform at the level of play the NHL demands. Drafted by the Boston Bruins in 1989, Walz played for the Flyers, Calgary Flames, and Red Wings before a four-year stint in Switzerland. Upon his return, Walz played 438 of his 607 NHL games with the Minnesota Wild, the most in team history. Only Marion Gaborik remains from the team's inaugural roster.

These are only a few noteworthy comments from the first quarter of the 2007-2008 season. The Hall of Fame inductions of Ron Francis, Jim Gregory, Al MacInnis, Mark Messier, and Scott Stevens were nothing if not timely. Surely, there will be more to discuss at the halfway mark — teams that have soared or have flailed; emerging offensive and defensive threats; more coaching and front office changes; you name it. Will Teemu Selanne, Scott Niedermayer, or Peter Forsberg have returned? Will the rumors of Scotty Bowman's pending arrival as Toronto's president and director of hockey operations come to fruition? What about the salary cap discussions between the league and the general managers? We'll see. But one thing is certain, there's more than enough time for anything to happen.

*****

[1]: Yahoo! Sports writer Ross McKeon recently wrote about the Western Conference's dominance over the Eastern. At the conclusion of Sunday's games, McKeon notes, "West teams held a 20-13 edge over the East (two wins after regulation), which almost matches the tally in terms of home ice (West teams have hosted 19 of the 33)." The talent disparity is evident with the Ducks having a mere two points less than the Flyers despite being behind three teams for the final playoff spot in the West.

[2]: For an interesting perspective on a way to boost scoring without all the goalie tweaking, check out Scott Burnside's December 3rd column at ESPN.

Posted by Jeff DiNunzio at 11:45 AM | Comments (1)

Who's Impressed So Far?

Behind the anarchical nature of the just-concluded college football regular season lies the other big-time NCAA sport, where over a thousand games have been played without any BCS-style frustration and politicking.

Of the 341 teams competing in all those games, three teams with unblemished records have stood out above all the rest with their level of play and the level of competition they have already disposed of.

The loss of Kevin Durant for Texas was supposed to be too much for the Longhorns to overcome. A team just doesn't lose the output from one of the great freshman seasons of all-time and hope to get better, right?

We won't know for sometime if the Longhorns end up with as many wins or are as good a basketball team as their predecessors, but going on all that we have for the young season, the Longhorns are better than expected and already have two incredible marquee wins.

On November 24 against Tennessee, Texas shot 64% from the floor and scored a nearly unbelievable 1.31 points per possession (the national average is 0.97). That performance came just a night after taking New Mexico State (their first round NCAA opponent from a year ago) to the sword for 62% from the field and 62% from three-point range.

On Sunday, Texas won perhaps the most difficult game on paper for their entire schedule, beating UCLA at Pauley Pavilion, in a contest largely ignored by the national media after the BCS results and a full day of NFL games.

Texas went on a 17-0 run in the first half and was up by 12 at halftime before UCLA caught them and took a lead with 12:53 left to go in the game. The Longhorns won despite only getting to the line five times.

Several times last year in close games against quality opposition, Texas didn't have enough balance in scoring to help Durant or enough confidence on defense for their young team to get key stops.

This year, scoring balance has been Texas' bread and butter, with all five starters in D.J. Augustin, A.J. Abrams, Justin Mason, Damion James, and Connor Atchley averaging double figures.

Defensively, in their biggest game of year to date, Texas held UCLA to just two points in the final three minutes.

The incredulity of Texas seemingly getting better after losing an NBA-bound underclassman cannot be said about Duke, who had Josh McRoberts go pro and now looks to be better for losing the big man who seemed to like passing more than rebounding.

Whatever your thoughts about Duke, who are definitively the Yankees/Manchester United/Patriots of college basketball, they usually do play an entertaining brand of offensive basketball with solid defensive play to back it up. A year ago, they resembled more of a fourth- or fifth-place Big Ten team than a vintage Duke team.

Vintage Duke might be back this season, as evidenced by an 8-0 record with three wins over consensus preseason NCAA tournament teams in Marquette, Wisconsin, and Davidson.

(In the interest of being fair, there were two of the most ridiculous charges in the history of basketball called on Davidson's Stephen Curry that saw Curry, Davidson's top scorer and best player, have to sit for long stretches of the game. Insert "Duke gets all the calls" comment here.)

In the first half of the Wisconsin game, Duke played a tremendous all-around half of basketball and led the Badgers 48-25 at the break en route to a 24-point win. The Blue Devils were nuisances to the Badgers on defense, causing many turnovers that led to fast break points. On offense, Duke ran past Wisconsin and got a plethora of easy, open shots.

Against another team from Wisconsin earlier in November, Duke was able to out-rebound Marquette, a similar-sized team, by 10 in the Maui Invitational Final.

Freshman Kyle Singler has perhaps been the most instrumental player in Duke's early success, connecting on 58% of his shots and bringing down seven rebounds a game for a team with a lack of big men on the roster.

Butler was one of, if not the, mid-major success story of a year ago. Now they look to be building on that to the point of possibly being a mid-major with the staying power of Gonzaga or Southern Illinois.

The Bulldogs are fascinating in that they are a very good team that doesn't rebound the ball that well. In just two of seven games this season has Butler won the battle on the glass. Indiana State and Ball State, who combine for a record of 3-9 this season, both out-rebounded Butler.

What Butler does do, however — shoot from the perimeter, defend, and hold on to the ball — they do just about as well as anybody in the country. Butler ranks 12th in the nation in three-point percentage and only turns the ball over on 15% of their offensive possessions (the national average is 22%). Butler is also one of the top teams in the nation as points per possession at 1.20.

The Bulldogs won the Great Alaska Shootout over Thanksgiving weekend, and beat three power conference teams in Michigan, Virginia Tech, and Texas Tech. If anyone knows how good those three teams are going to be by the end of March, they're lying. Butler did, however, beat Ohio State at Hinkle Fieldhouse on Saturday evening, a team that, despite three early losses, figures to be among the top three or four in the Big Ten at season's end.

If a mid-major team that counts on the same things Butler does to win games is very cold from the floor early they normally start to get buried by the power-conference team. Saturday's game had the looks of one where Butler just didn't have their shooting touch, as they were below 30% for the first half and were only one for their first 15 from three-point range. However, Butler showed on Saturday that they are no typical mid-major team as they limited the Buckeyes to just 16 second half points.

Ohio State also decided to play a 3-2 zone for much of the game, respecting Butler's normally awesome three-point game. The inside then was freed for Butler's Matt Howard to go 9-of-13 from the floor and ultimately pick up 23 points. Butler won the rebounding battle against the taller Buckeyes, which give their style of play, is essentially icing on the cake. The Bulldogs were also able to force Ohio State into turnovers on 38% of their possessions.

Through a month, we still don't know a whole lot about the 2007-08 college basketball season. From what we do know, however, Texas, Duke, and Butler have been extremely impressive and could be big players at the end of the season.

Posted by Ross Lancaster at 11:38 AM | Comments (0)

December 4, 2007

In the Box: NFL Week 13

John Madden was talking about Steelers guard Alan Faneca on Sunday night, and he called him "a taker." In other words, if Madden were building a team from scratch, he would take Faneca.

(Actually, Madden might have been talking about Hines Ward since he loves him so much. I'm not sure.)

Anyway, it got me thinking: if I had to coach a football team with my life depending on the outcome, who would I want on it? No salary cap. No contracts. Just 60 minutes of football and a gun to my head. Call it the "All-Please-Win-So-I-Don't-Die Team."

On offense, I'm playing a three WR, one TE, one RB formation the entire game. On defense, I had to go with a 4-3.

Offense

QB: Tom Brady, New England — Ask Brian Billick who he would choose.

RB: Adrian Peterson, Minnesota — If the game's in poor weather, I need a workhorse who can put the team on his back. I've seen LaDainian Tomlinson shut down too many times this year. Peterson is the most consistent defense-killer in the league right now.

TE: Kellen Winslow, Jr., Cleveland — One of the top-five most enjoyable players to watch play in the NFL.

Outside WR 1: Andre Johnson, Houston — Great hands; great speed; Reggie Wayne would have been the pick two months ago, but he's been dropping some big passes lately. Randy Moss and Terrell Owens are more explosive, but I wouldn't bet my life on their attention spans.

Slot WR: Hines Ward, Pittsburgh — Toughest omission on the team was Wes Welker. Ward gets the nod with physicality, experience, and leadership. Donald Driver also deserves mention.

Outside WR 2: Steve Smith, Carolina — Toughest guy at the position; need at least one guy on the team with bordering-on-insanity competitive fire.

LT: Walter Jones, Seattle — Great in the run or pass game; I am afraid he'll hold out, though. Just in case, San Diego's Marcus McNeill is on stand-by.

LG: Steve Hutchinson, Minnesota — Best in the league.

C: Jeff Saturday, Indianapolis — Great technique; Great at making the line calls to set the protection.

RG: Logan Mankins, New England — The one and only time I'm switching a guy's position. Mankins played both RT and LT at Fresno State, so I don't feel bad moving him from LG to RG for these purposes.

RT: Jon Runyan, Philadelphia — He's big, powerful, durable, and has a quality mean streak. A bit past his prime, but a hell of a competitor. Last year, it would have been New Orleans' Jammal Brown, but he's been playing LT this year and I didn't want to make another exception.

Defense

LDE: Aaron Kampman, Green Bay — Aaron Schobel from the Bills is high on the call sheet, but Kampman has been nearly unstoppable so far.

LDT: Jamal Williams, San Diego — As dominant a run-stuffer as there is in the league. Has to be double-teamed every play; even if he does get knocked off the line of scrimmage, the guard-center aren't going to be able to get to the linebackers. I'd have to see Albert Haynesworth play like he has this year in a non-contract year to put my life in his hands.

RDT: Kelly Gregg, Baltimore — Go ahead. Try to run the ball inside with Williams and Gregg in the middle of my line. I dare you.

RDE: Jared Allen, Kansas City — A machine off the corner.

LOLB: Mike Vrabel, New England — Smart; gets to the ball; yackles well; can play TE in a pinch.

MLB: DeMeco Ryans, Houston — I went back and forth between Ryans and Brian Urlacher. In the end, I wanted to infuse a little youth in the defense.

ROLB: Donnie Edwards, Kansas City — A glue guy; you want to know how the KC defense got so much better this year and the Chargers got worse? Edwards is the answer. In a game of this magnitude, you need somebody who's always going to be in the right place.

LCB: Asante Samuel, New England — Great instincts; almost never gets beat; really good tackler.

FS: Ed Reed, Baltimore — Can cover like a corner, hit like a linebacker. Plus, he can return kicks if needed.

SS: Adrian Wilson, Arizona — A play-maker; If he can't come back from surgery in time for the game, Bob Sanders gets the call.

RCB: Leigh Bodden, Cleveland — Maybe not the greatest lock-down cover corner, but has a great ability to make a big play. With Samuel on the other side, I can shift Reed over to Bodden's side, freeing Bodden to cut underneath the routes.

Special Teams

K: Adam Vinatieri, Indianapolis — Hasn't been the same since he left Foxborough, but if I'm betting my life on a game and it comes down to a kick, A.V. is the guy I want kicking it. Plus, I named my son after the guy, so I kind of have to pick him.

P: Shane Lechler, Oakland — A lot of good ones, but Lechler's been the best for a while.

KR/PR: Devin Hester, Chicago — Easiest pick on the board.

So there it is. My team if my life depended on it. And I had more fun making up that list than I did watching sports this weekend. (It really was an ugly weekend.)

***

Playoff picture:

AFC:
1. New England (11-0; AFC East)
2. Indianapolis (10-2; AFC South)
3. Pittsburgh (9-3; AFC North)
4. San Diego (7-5; AFC West)
5. Jacksonville (8-4)
6. Cleveland (7-5; Better conference record than Titans)
7. Tennessee (7-5)
8. Buffalo (6-6)
9. Denver (5-7; Better conference record than Texans; the two play in Week 15)
10. Houston (5-7)

NFC:
1. Dallas (11-1; NFC East)
2. Green Bay (10-2; NFC North)
3. Seattle (8-4; NFC West; won head-to-head over Tampa Bay in Week 1)
4. Tampa Bay (8-4; NFC South)
5. NY Giants (8-4)
6. Arizona (6-6; Based on head-to-head win over Detroit)
7. Detroit (6-6; Based on a better division record than Minnesota)
8. Minnesota (6-6; Buy! Buy! Buy!)
9. Carolina (5-7; Based on 5-4 conference record)
10. New Orleans (5-7; 4-4 conference record is better than any of the other 5-7 teams)

Current top five picks in the draft:

1. Miami (0-12)
2. San Francisco (3-9; .472 strength of schedule; pick owned by New England)
3. NY Jets (3-9; .486 strength of schedule)
4. St. Louis (3-9; .493 strength of schedule)
5. Atlanta (3-9; .507 strength of schedule)

Tie-Breaker Procedures

And now Week 13:

Dallas 37, Green Bay 27: By far the best game, but it's been almost a week so Dallas has already been fluffed to the hilt. With that in mind, five positives for the Packers (not counting the fact Brett Favre's injury doesn't appear to be too serious):

1. They have their new Ahman Green in Ryan Grant, and his extension (which they're already working on if they're smart) should be very palatable. Brandon Jackson can develop into a quality second guy, which every team has to have, and you don't need to draft a running back for at least three years.

2. The "What the hell are we going to do after Favre?" panic will be a little less severe after seeing Aaron Rodgers come in and handle himself extremely well in a tough environment. His performance has to make the coaches, fans, and front office feel better.

3. Mark Tauscher gave a gutty performance on a pretty bad ankle. Great character to have on your offensive line.

4. On offense, Greg Jennings is only 24, James Jones is 23, Donald Lee is 27, Grant is 24, Rodgers is 23, and Jackson is 22. On defense, A.J. Hawk is 23, Cullen Jenkins and Nick Barnett are 26, and Ryan Pickett and Aaron Kampman are 28. Kicker Mason Crosby is 23. Head coach Mike McCarthy just turned 44.

(In other words, don't expect a downturn any time soon.)

5. Donald Driver is 32, but plays like he's 25. He's top 10 in the NFL right now easy.

Fantasy Impact: There were two rookie kickers in the biggest game in the NFC this year, and it wasn't even a story. Dallas' Nick Folk hit all three of his FG attempts, with a long of 51, and Crosby hit both of his attempts, including a high-pressure 52-yarder that kept the Packers in the game late. I don't think Bryant Gumbel and Cris Collinsworth even mentioned both teams had rookie kickers.

As an aside, it makes you wonder why the Chiefs drafted Justin Medlock in the fifth round instead of Folk and Crosby, who both went in the sixth. Medlock ended up on the practice squad after losing the job to Dave Reyner (who lost his job with Green Bay to Crosby). And now that Reyner is out for the Chiefs (cut last Tuesday as suggested), Medlock still isn't getting the job. They signed 43-year-old John Carney instead. (Carney hit his only attempt, from 38, in this game.)

San Diego 24, Kansas City 10: Since the Chiefs play in the border city in the Kansas/Missouri Border War, I'll use this game for my rant on college football:

More than any other sport, college football, and specifically the bowl system, puts money over competitive legitimacy. Could you ever imagine another sport picking its postseason matchups based on ratings and the team's history of traveling well? ("Sure, the Nets had a better record, but let's have the Heat in the playoffs instead. Shaq and Wade will get a bigger number.") This is better than an eight-game playoff?

Look. Look how cool it could have been:

Everybody gets a week off this week, then play the following three weeks, with a championship double-header (consolation game, title game on New Year's Day). Auto bids to the six BCS conferences, plus two at-large, which I'm giving to Hawaii because they're undefeated, and Georgia because they're the best of the two-loss teams and on a hot streak, an NCAA tournament selection criteria. (Mizzou doesn't get in because they choked against the Sooners. KU doesn't get in because only 10 teams in all of Division I played a weaker schedule.)

1. Ohio State vs. 8. Hawaii (Tremendous upset possibility)
2. LSU vs. 7. USC (Everybody's pick for the title game back in August)
3. Virginia Tech vs. 6. West Virginia (Great defense-offense battle)
4. Oklahoma vs. 5 Georgia (Two legacy powerhouses with great fan bases)

If seeding held, we'd have Ohio State vs. Oklahoma and LSU vs. Virginia Tech in the semis. Then, if Ohio State and LSU won, we'd have a legit title game.

As it is now, it's just a big commercial with a paper champion. Booooooooooooooo!

(I knew this is how it was going to end, and I'm still infuriated.)

Fantasy Impact: It's ironic Philip Rivers plays exactly like Eli Manning.

Seattle 28, Philadelphia 24: Huge win for the Seahawks on the road. Now they carry a two-game lead into what should be a division-clinching showdown with the Cardinals this weekend.

Fantasy Impact: I guess we can go ahead and table the A.J. Feeley/Donovan McNabb debate. At least it happened early enough so that the front office didn't start making decisions based on the belief Feeley could actually be a consistent NFL starting QB. On the other hand, it's going to be a lot tougher to pilfer a high-round draft choice for him now. (Eh, Dolphins fans?)

Also, if I was going to include two running backs on the "All-Please-Win-So-I-Don't-Die Team," Brian Westbrook (139 total yards and a TD) would have been my No. 2.

Buffalo 17, Washington 16: Two notes:

1. If ever you needed proof God doesn't care about who wins a football game, you have this one.

2. If the Bills make the playoffs, Dick Jauron should be the unanimous selection for coach of the year.

Fantasy Impact: Nobody mentioned it because of the Sean Taylor-focused coverage (obviously), but Fred Jackson, a second-year back from Coe College who spent last year on the Bills' practice squad, led Buffalo in rushing (16 for 82) and receiving (4 for 69).

New England 27, Baltimore 24: My five favorite things about this game:

1. The Kevin Faulk strip of Ed Reed after Reed returned Brady's lone interception to the Pats' 27 with a minute left in the first half. It was at least a three-point play by Faulk.

2. Brady's 12-yard scramble from the Ravens' 45 on fourth-and-six on the game-winning drive.

3. Rodney Harrison making the stop on Willis McGahee on a pass to the flat on third and two. A first down there and the Ravens take at least another two minutes off the clock and burn New England's remaining timeouts. Defensive play of the game.

4. Harrison taunting Brian Billick.

5. In the end, you can always count on bad quarterbacks turning into bad quarterbacks. Just like Feeley in Week 12, Kyle Boller reverted to his old self for just one play. And it saved the Pats from certain defeat.

With all that said, New England almost lost to an inferior team for the second week in a row. A performance like that against the Steelers and it's 12-1.

Also, you have to feel at least a little sorry for the Ravens. That timeout just about tore their guts out and now they somehow have to pick themselves up off the ground to defend against Peyton Manning and the Colts.

Fantasy Impact: No matter who you were rooting for, you had to appreciate Willis McGahee's fire last night. He ran possessed. Not to turn that into a negative, but if he played like that all the time, the Ravens would be a better team.

Indianapolis 28, Jacksonville 25: A critical AFC South matchup lost in the shuffle, the Jags just about pulled it out. They out-gained the Colts 411-342, out-rushed Indy by more than 100 yards, and had a 10-minute time of possession advantage. But the Colts converted on 10-of-13 third-down attempts and scored on four of their seven non-kneel-down possessions.

Fantasy Impact: It got called back because of offensive pass interference, but Manning did hit rookie WR Anthony Gonzalez for a touchdown. I've got a feeling Gonzalez is going to have a break-out game in the next three weeks (at Baltimore, at Oakland, Houston).

Minnesota 42, Detroit 10: The Vikings may be only 6-6 and on the outside-looking-in for the playoffs, but is there an NFC team outside of Dallas or Green Bay you would pick over Minnesota right now? That's a rushing game made to dominate in December and January. With a schedule of San Francisco (road), Chicago, Washington, and Denver (road), here's calling for a 10-6 final record, sixth seed in the NFC, and a wild card matchup at Seattle (the return of Steve Hutchinson).

Fantasy Impact: Detroit WR Roy Williams is out for the year, which may open the door for a Calvin Johnson surge at the end. It also likely ensures Shaun McDonald will remain relevant through the rest of the season.

Tampa Bay 27, New Orleans 23: The 2007 New Orleans Saints:

Saints tackle Luke McCown for a safety. 23-20, New Orleans. Saints get the ball on their own 49 after a 31-yard free kick.

Aaron Stecker for no gain.

Reggie Bush for -12 and a fumble recovered by Tampa.

Bucs drive for the game-winning touchdown.

Tampa Bay: 8-4
New Orleans: 5-7

Fantasy Impact: If anybody drafts Bush in the first seven rounds of your fantasy draft next year, mock them mercilessly. I'm not kidding. Make them cry.

Arizona 27, Cleveland 21: The key for the Cardinals was keeping Kellen Winslow in check with only 3 catches for 35 yards. With a tough game at Seattle this Sunday, this win puts them in position to rebound and still get a wild card even if they lose. Otherwise, a loss at Seattle would have knocked them out of the race. Their final three are at New Orleans, then Atlanta and St. Louis at home.

Fantasy Impact: Unfortunately for the Cards, their future may be clouded by the prolonged absence of their top two receivers, Larry Fitzgerald, who missed this one with a groin injury, and Anquan Boldin, who dislocated a toe in the third quarter (ouch). That would definitely downgrade Kurt Warner's fantasy value, though it might be good news for Leonard Pope owners.

Pittsburgh 24, Cincinnati 10: Marvin Lewis just looks lost out there. Luckily for him, the Bengals get three of the five worst teams in the NFL (St. Louis, the Jets, and Miami) in their last four. Win all three, Lewis maybe saves his job. Lose any of those three, and he has to go.

Fantasy Impact: Speaking of going, where have you gone, Willie Parker?

Oakland 34, Denver 20: The Broncos are pathetic. I'm angry just thinking about the time I spent watching this game. Absolutely pathetic.

Fantasy Impact: It's time I give Justin Fargas his due. It's not like he was facing a re-incarnation of the Orange Crush, but his 34 carries for 146 yards and a TD was one of the more dominant rushing performances of the year by a guy not named Adrian Peterson.

Also, hooray for the McCown family. Josh gets the win here and brother Luke gets the W with Tampa in New Orleans. That's how bad this week was.

Also also, I'm swearing off all Denver Broncos from my fantasy teams for the rest of the Shanahan era. I just can't take it any more.

St. Louis 28, Atlanta 17: You know the Falcons are taking Brian Brohm. As for the Rams, Virginia DE Chris Long would be perfect in a rotation with Leonard Little and James Hall.

Fantasy Impact: Roddy White (10 receptions for 146 yards and a TD) has developed into a top-line receiver. With another 33 yards, he will have more yards this year (953) than he did in his first two years combined (952). He's already achieved that status with receptions (62 this year, 59 the past two) and touchdowns (4 this year, 3 the past two).

Tennessee 28, Houston 20: Even if the Titans make the playoffs, I don't see them beating anybody.

Fantasy Impact: Andre Johnson is the man (9 catches for 116 yards and a TD).

NY Giants 21, Chicago 16: Eli Manning. Rex Grossman. You expected something other than this ugly bastard of a game? (13 punts, 4 Giants turnovers, 8 sacks, 10 penalties by the Bears, combined 11-of-32 on third down.)

Fantasy Impact: With Derrick Ward possibly out for the year with a broken leg and Brandon Jacobs suffering from a bad hamstring, Reuben Droughns might finally get his 25-carry day against the Eagles.

Carolina 31, San Francisco 14: It's got to suck for 49ers fans watching Joe Staley struggle, knowing they gave up a top-five draft pick this year to pick him at 28 last April. There's only one good thing to come out of a horrible season, and it's the draft pick that comes with it. To not even have that is double torture.

Fantasy Impact: The 49ers gave up 166 rushing yards. They now host the Vikings.

NY Jets 40, Miami 13: The Dolphins' remaining four: @Buffalo, Baltimore, @New England, Cincinnati. 'Fins/Bengals could be the most interesting regular season finale featuring two horrible teams in the history of the NFL.

Also, to heck with Don Shula. Could he have showed any less class in the MNF booth? Seriously, man. You didn't see Hank Aaron in the ESPN booth rooting for Barry Bonds to strike out, did you? Damn, that made me mad.

Fantasy Impact: It took three months, but Leon Washington finally broke double digits in rushing attempts with 10 for 68 yards and 2 touchdowns.

Seth Doria is a writer based out of St. Louis. For the only daily column that mixes sports, politics and entertainment news in one, visit The Left Calf.

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 12:00 PM | Comments (0)

It Should Have Been Miller Time

Marvin Miller isn't in the Hall of Fame yet. Again. But Bowie Kuhn, the commissioner who did his best to thwart the end of indentured servitude (and competitive imbalance) that Miller shepherded so powerfully, is going into the Hall of Fame.

The sensibility in that is where, considering who did the most to change the game for, mostly, the better? Unless you think there was genuine virtue in the owners being allowed to misconstrue and misapply the ancient and deplorable reserve clause, binding their players to their will and denying them their right to peddle their services on a fair, open market, you can't suggest Miller left a lesser legacy than Kuhn.

Oops. The Veterans Committee group that picked from among the owners and non-field personnel — and gave Miller three of twelve votes — was composed mostly of, what a surprise, executives to whom Miller is probably the founding father of their malcontent.

This is not to say that Kuhn lacked for his virtues. He did preside over a broadening of the game's television exposure; the game's revenues did grow under his watch; and he did behave properly and beyond, perhaps his finest hours, when the Atlanta Braves sought to hype the sweep — holding him out of a season-opening three-game road set — to rig Henry Aaron's meeting and passing of Babe Ruth for the home folks and fair competition be damned.

Kuhn crooked his finger, manager Eddie Mathews knew better than to disobey, and Aaron himself pitched in in the best way he knew how, sending Jack Billingham's fastball over the Riverfront Stadium left field fence to tie the Babe, playing fairly in one other game of the set, and then hitting The Bomb for the home folks in the only way acceptable, fair and square (and how, would say Al Downing).

But there were 15 work stoppages on Kuhn's watch, the last of those — the 1981 season-disrupting strike — exposing him especially as lacking any genuine consensual power, when all was said and done, rendering baseball a little worse for the wear in the doing.

And Kuhn's active resistance to the inevitable end of the reserve era — first, by spurning Curt Flood with, in effect, what Red Smith translated to mean, "Run along, sonny, you bother me"; then, in effect, telling the arbitrator hearing the Messersmith-McNally case that the reserve system was just about the only thing that kept baseball from corruption.

If you go back into the history of baseball, before there was a reserve system, the problems of integrity in the form of outright dishonesty by clubs and players alike was flagrant, and there was no public confidence in the game. The reserve system is the cornerstone of baseball. It gave baseball the stability, economic stability, to develop a system where you were able to eliminate the problems of integrity that had been flagrant in the game.

What I see [coming if the reserve system is ended] is the loss of clubs — some of our clubs would not be able to survive it. You'd have the loss of employment opportunities for our players and our other personnel, the elimination of any possibility that in the near term we could expand into cities that have much wanted baseball . . . and, not inconceivably, the loss of a major league . . .

Now, I think there is another solution, and I think that the other solution is one that I have fought for as long as we have had a collective bargaining relationship in this industry. That is to solve the problems of this kind through collective bargaining. I think the record shows that there has been very substantial movement in collective bargaining, not only with respect to the overall reserve system, but in all other areas where demands have been put on the table by the Players' Association.

— Bowie Kuhn, testifying on day two of the Messersmith-McNally arbitration hearings.

It was proper to wonder just what Kuhn thought of the kind of integrity the reserve system fostered when eight members of the 1919 Chicago White Sox, most of whom may really have been as George Will once described, "more dumb than dishonest," were receptive to a plan hatched by two of them to throw the World Series for more money than they were being paid by a notoriously penurious and arbitrary owner.

It must have been on the mind of Dick Moss, representing Andy Messersmith (Dave McNally had signed on, as a favor to Miller, as insurance in case Messersmith might have wavered: McNally intended to stay retired) when he asked Kuhn soberly if he really believed a Messersmith victory would mean games becoming dishonest or thrown.

Kuhn delivered himself of a somewhat scrambling reply that said, essentially, yes, that's just about what it would mean so long as the public was gullible enough to believe it. (Well, the public is gullible enough to believe the free agency era has meant the compromise of competitive balance, too.) From which point Moss illustrated how ridiculous it would be if a Dodger booted one against the Padres thinking it would make him more attractive to the Padres for next season.

"I would agree with you," Kuhn replied.

Game, set, and match, pending Moss's exposure (by way of a newspaper article quoting him) of Calvin Griffith's all-but-admission that, interpreted strictly and not as his fellows had done for decades, the option portion of the reserve clause did, indeed, allow a player's free agency once he'd played out the option rather than signing a renewed contract, especially if the team's owner cut the player's salary up to twenty percent.

Arbitrator Peter Seitz had no choice but to rule for Messersmith-McNally in light of that. And Miller was canny enough not to go right for the throat when the ruling came down (and held up on appeal) and the owners locked the spring training camps in 1976. He went to the players to size up any consensus between immediate free agency and maximizing their earnings, or a prudent time frame in which a player could become a free agent.

Meanwhile, Ted Turner broke an apparent boycott and signed ill-fated Andy Messersmith to a three-year megabucks deal (injuries compromised and ended Messersmith's effectiveness and career), Charlie Finley (who favored a market-flooding immediate free agency, knowing it would screw the owners' works more than hurt the players) tried and failed at his fire sale when Kuhn blocked him, and the owners finally blinked — they approved a six-year free agency threshold while players unsigned by August 9, 1976 would become free agents at once.

The class was distinguished enough. Especially after George Steinbrenner, having been rebuffed in his bid to make a Yankee out of smooth second baseman Bobby Grich and a few other prizes, hunted, wooed ("He hustled me like a broad"), and won Reggie Jackson. From there, regardless of what you've heard or believed, baseball's competitive balance launched, little by little, piece by piece.

And the moment Riverdance Papelbon swished pinch-hitter Seth Smith, finishing the Boston Red Sox's staggering World Series sweep, that made it 20 teams having won the past thirty World Series — compared to 14 winning the past thirty Super Bowls, 10 winning the past 31 NBA championships, and 13 winning the past thirty Stanley Cups. Quick! Guess which three of the four sports have salary caps.

That's the competitive balance Bowie Kuhn — who loved the game genuinely while lacking the foresight to smooth its most important and imperative changes — sought to obstruct (18 different teams won the 71 World Series played under the reserve system, ladies and gentlemen) and Marvin Miller worked to invite.

"Bowie was a close friend and a respected leader who served as commissioner during an important period in history, amid a time of change," said incumbent commissioner Bud Selig to reporters when the vote was announced. Then he added, "I was surprised that Marvin Miller did not receive the required support given his important impact on the game."

For once, Mr. Commissioner, you'll get no argument from many.

Posted by Jeff Kallman at 11:07 AM | Comments (0)

December 3, 2007

Rating the NBA Rookie Class

One month ago, if I were to ask you who you thought would be the top five rookies in the NBA, you probably would have answered: Kevin Durant, Al Horford, Luis Scola, Marco Bellinelli, and Corey Brewer. Or perhaps Al Thornton might have slipped in there, maybe Joakim Noah, as well.

Strangely, I don't think anybody would have seen Jamario Moon making such an impact, or Sean Williams for that matter; and none of us believed that Yi Jianlian would contribute right away. Well, actually many of you did. But I didn't.

Nonetheless, one month of action gives us a much better sample size than we had coming into this season to use to rate these players. Before the season began, we were essentially putting our chips down based on college and international basketball — both games being much different than NBA-styled hoops.

Will the ratings change after another month of basketball, or two, or three? Certainly! But it doesn't mean we can't throw them out there. Here are the top 10 rookies of the season so far:

1. Kevin Durant — While averaging over 20 points, which is almost double the production of any other rookie, the kid has also proven that he's the most gifted of his peers. His stone-cold three-point winner against Atlanta is the most important shot that any rookie has taken this season, but his 40% shooting just isn't going to cut it in the future. Thankfully, horrible shot selection is something that can be taught, unlike his natural gifts that other rookies could only dream of having.

2. Al Horford — Big Al is doing exactly what the Hawks expected of him. He's averaging 8.7 points, 10.2 rebounds, 1.3 blocks, and 1.1 steals so far this season. No, his stats aren't overwhelming, but they are solid — and that's all you need from a guy playing nearly 30 minutes per game in his first month in the NBA. The sky is the limit for Horford.

3. Jamario Moon — He's the only rookie that is starting for a divisional leader — and he's doing a great job. Bryan Colangelo and Company have trusted him with over 30 minutes per game, and he has consistently responded — like his 15 point, 9 rebound, 6 block, and 3 steal game against the Bulls on November 25.

4. Sean Williams — His stats aren't incredible, but his highlight reel dunks and blocks are. He has been the best big man for New Jersey so far this year and will only get rewarded with more playing time as the season goes along.

5. Yi Jianlian — He hasn't been spectacular, but unlike most rookies he has at least been consistent in his play. If he can improve his scoring to around 15 ppg this year, he'll be considered a great pick at sixth overall.

6. Luis Scola — Maybe he should be higher, or perhaps he should be a bit lower. In my opinion, Scola has been a bit of a disappointment. He has had some huge games, but is only averaging 6.8 points and 5.3 rebounds. In the end, however, I suppose you could give him a pass based on the fact that he's not only adjusting to the NBA game, but also to North America in general.

7. Juan Carlos Navarro — J.C. has proven that he's more than simply a three-point shooter. Sure, this spicy Spaniard exploded for two 28-point games, but he also had one game where he managed 11 rebounds! Now that he's the starting SG, look for Navarro to improve on his 10.7 ppg.

8. Jeff Green — The "other" Seattle rookie isn't doing nearly enough to earn him a higher spot. He's been "okay" for the un-SuperSonics this year — averaging 9.7 points and 5.6 rebounds. Unfortunately, the Sonics were expecting a bit more — maybe it'll happen later on.

9. Daequan Cook — This Miami guard got his opportunity when Dwyane Wade was out. He's played beyond expectations thus far, but ended up getting benched for a few games when Wade returned. Nonetheless, it looks like Cook is earning his time back with the team — putting up 12.7 points in the last three games for the Heat.

10. Nick Young — Offensively, he has been extremely impressive. Young will have a great opportunity to continue to prove himself in the absence of Arenas. If he can improve on his defense, his minutes will follow — as will his improved spot in the rookie rankings.

Others: Glen Davis, Corey Brewer, and Al Thornton.

Posted by Chad Kettner at 11:49 AM | Comments (0)

Not So Fighting Irish in '07

Notre Dame football has produced All-Americans, national championships, and seven Heisman Trophy winners. It's noted as one of the best NCAA football programs to hit the gridiron with names like Knut Rockne and Frank Leahy leading the way.

But in 2007, it wasn't the glory that comes with the name Notre Dame. It was a dismal season with the Fighting Irish finishing 3-9 and Charlie Weis (22-15) scratching his head on how to right the problem.

2007 marked the most losses in a single year with nine, two of the 10 worst losses ever (Michigan and USC, 38-0), a loss to both Navy and Air Force (a first in the same year since 1944), and losing the first six home games.

One has to look at one person for their disappointing season — Charlie Weis. He doesn't want to be remembered in the same company of Tyrone Willingham (21-15), Bob Davie (35-25), or even the short-lived George O'Leary. If anything, Weis wants to be remembered like Knut Rockne, Frank Leahy, Ara Parseghian, Dan Devine, and Lou Holtz.

"It's still 3-9. Let's not kid ourselves," Charlie Weis said to the media. "But at least it's 3-9 with two wins at the end of the year ... Let's start moving forward now."

Indeed, they have to move forward, but must look at the following areas that need improvement.

First: Weis saw seven of his players from the 2006 season go to the NFL; he finished on a high-note with a 10-2 record and accepted a bid to the Sugar Bowl, losing 41-14 to LSU.

Second: They need to be aggressive in their recruiting effort for the 2008 season. They have some uncommitted recruits, but must make it known to them that Notre Dame is a competitive and winning football program. The recruits that have expressed interest in the Fighting Irish are defensive lineman Ethan Johnson and Omar Hunter, quarterback Dayne Crist, linebackers Darius Fleming and Steven Filer, tight end Kyle Rudolph, and receiver Michael Floyd.

Third: A good point, which was written by Tim Prister of the Indianapolis Star, is that Notre Dame must strengthen its special teams. Prister pointed out that they were ranked 42nd in the nation in punt coverage, 56th in punt returns, 89th in kickoff coverage, and 93rd in kickoff returns. Prister also noted that, "when Charlie Weis took over as coach, he said the quickest way to turn around a program was to establish solid special teams. Save for an occasional long punt return by Tom Zbikowski, the Irish has played poorly on special teams, particularly this season."

Fourth: Another area they need to stress is maturity; they need their players to mature and play at the level they are capable of. Also, practice; they need to practice harder and have pride in what they are doing. They need to understand the problems and fix it. This will be on the shoulders of Charlie Weis and his coaching staff. They are also losing five starters which help the Fighting Irish, but three of them are their best players — John Carlson, Trevor Laws, and Tom Zbikowski.

Fifth: One factor that helps Notre Dame for the 2008 season is the schedule. It's easier with them facing San Diego State (4-7), North Carolina (4-8), Washington (4-8), Pittsburgh (4-7), and Syracuse (2-10).

Notre Dame, with the changes recommended, should make a comeback for the 2008 season. The areas that will help them are their reputation and desire to win. After all, Weis had a great 2006 season, but with the good comes the bad. If anything, 2007 should be an eye-opener for Weis and his staff because coaches do come and go. Weis could be on a short leash if 2008 is a disaster.

"And I'm never going to be content with a comeback when you end up losing," Charlie Weis is quoted as saying. "You just can't accept being in a game that's close and end up losing it. It's just not okay."

With that, Notre Dame must "Play Like a Champion Today" next season.

Posted by Joe Boesch at 11:19 AM | Comments (1)

December 1, 2007

Limiting the Sean Taylor Impact

I had lunch with a journalist friend of mine this week in D.C. He's one of these grizzled veterans of the game who counts "speaking truth to power" as one of his hobbies and probably still uses a manual typewriter for a first draft before flipping on the computer.

During our conversation, he said to me what a lot of news reporters have said to me over the years, which is that sports has no business being on the front page of the Washington Post or any other newspaper.

I understand what he's saying, because he views sports not as cross-cultural community events that affect everything from friendships to the economy to office productivity on a Monday morning, but as slight entertainment that should be condemned to the ghetto of Section D in the fish-wrap. People like him look at an NFL regular season game being featured above the fold the day after a game, and wonder if the paper would do the same thing for an episode of "Lost" or the latest Will Smith movie.

The truth is that sports belong on the front news section of a newspaper when it's warranted. If the Yankees win the World Series, the New York Times is going to bump that story on Mideast Peace talks or tax reform down to the bottom of the front page. Not only because the win is history-making within its respective news realm, but because it's the biggest water-cooler topic in the paper's coverage area that morning. The papers will sell because that's the news — and, in this case or in some other limited cases, it is news — that people are talking about.

What I don't agree with is the notion that every NFL game the home team plays deserves that honor. That's what happens here in D.C. with the Washington Redskins: win, lose, or draw, you will likely see a photograph of Sunday's action as you walk by the Post's main section on a Monday morning. It's like regrettable clockwork. And the rest of the media falls in line with this over-coverage, whether it's putting the sports guy/babe on the nightly news near the top of the broadcast to chat about the game or dedicating hours of local radio to Redskins minutia. It's overkill, whether the audience demands it or not. There are simply too few hours and column inches available to dedicate so much of them to a regular season football game.

Which brings us to the tragic death of Sean Taylor.

A Redskins defensive back, Taylor, 24, was shot in the leg during what police have initially labeled a botched robbery in his Florida home, and later died during hospital treatment. The obvious and undeniable tragedy of this situation has been poignantly expressed by teammates, past and present, and relatives. Which brings us back to the media.

The mainstream D.C. media covered Taylor's shooting like a national tragedy, and then his death like that of a fallen dignitary. Taylor's life and sad demise were analyzed, eulogized, and speculated about (more on that in a moment) by every newspaper, radio station, and television network in the region.

And yet, for this non-Redskins fan and journalist living in the D.C. area, the coverage had a surprisingly muted impact. I believe this is for three reasons:

1. From a sports and cult of celebrity perspective, Sean Taylor wasn't yet a star whose death delivered a debilitating, "can life go on?" blow to the region's fans. He was a defensive back — perhaps the team's best since Darrell Green — but he wasn't a running back or a quarterback, the two positions that transform football players into mythic figures. He also never won a championship with the Redskins, which is ultimately what turns an average player into a Washington legend — there's an entire cottage industry around here built around the continued earning power of various parts of Redskins' past championship machines.

2. The D.C. media is, for lack of a more obvious pun, the boys and girls who cried "Redskin." Coverage of everything that is football in Washington has reached such absurd proportions that when a story of such tragic importance as Taylor's death arrives, the coverage doesn't feel extraordinary. In fact, it feels like it's striving to reach the level of Coach Joe Gibbs's return or Jack Kent Cooke selling the team. The only difference is that when the puffy nightly sportscaster comes on to pimp his Redskins coverage, the bouncy teaser music is replaced by somber "we're covering a tragedy" music. The Redskins overkill in this town has, in my mind, devalued the magnitude of reporting the Taylor story.

3. The bottom line is that the speculation game has overshadowed the calamity. The University of Miami "curse." Asking Taylor's lifelong friends if someone wanted to do him wrong. Junior G-men in the media trying to create links to other criminal activities that affected Taylor in the past. And, of course, attempting to add Taylor as the latest poster child for African-American males gunned down in the early years of adulthood because of a culture of senseless and unending violence.

To that end, I return to thinking about my old grizzled journalist friend. I'd like to ask him, in his opinion, "What is news?" Because the loss of human life through violence is, to me, pretty damn big news. Yet there are young African-American males gunned down every week in parts of Washington, D.C. where much of the Post's readership won't even drive through. And where do they end up in the newspaper? In a small paragraph somewhere in the Metro (or "B") section. They're buried by the media long before they're buried by their family — obviously, based on the past week, things change when you're wearing a burgundy and gold uniform every Sunday.

The media cowers in the face of death, whether it's nameless Iraqis slaughtered in a "war" or hundreds of young black men slaughtered in the streets of America's urban communities.

Imagine how public perceptions would change if their tragedies received an iota of the attention, spotlight, and adulation from the media as when a star's life is extinguished?

Greg Wyshynski is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 10:14 AM | Comments (0)