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October 31, 2007

The BCS is a Good Thing ... No, Really

Just a few weeks into the "BCS-this, BCS-that" portion of the college football season, most fans have already spent their yearly allotment of soapbox time protesting the sinister Bowl Championship Series rankings and lamenting the obvious lack of a true playoff system in the sport.

The most popular (and least profanity-laden) of these conversations may go a little something like this: Bubba: "Reckon them Hawgs goin' all the way this season, what with that Saban feller running things." Larry: "Um, I reckon you talkin' ‘bout the Crims'n Tide, but ne'ermind all that cuz that dang BCS done gum things up again this year ... now I don't know why they just won't have some kinda playoff like they do at the end of the NASCAR year."

Now, it is certainly true that NCAA division I-A football is the singular major American sports draw that does not crown a postseason grand champion through a head's up playoff system. It is equally true that the "good ol' boy" syndrome is still alive and well in the ranks of college football, which further leads to a doubting eye being cast the way of the sport and its methods. Sure, money is very much a part of the decision-making process, as is the unavoidable pageantry that accompanies each bowl game. These points of fact, however, are not necessarily tantamount to a failed system. In fact, I am of the belief that the system has its pluses.

The BCS gets far more than its share of negative publicity each and every year. With all this bad press, it seemed like a good idea to try to convince some fence-sitters that it is not as bad as you are led to believe. Below you'll find that proverbial silver lining...

1. The BCS Looks Out For the "Little Guy." With a 31-26 record since 2003 and nine consecutive bowl game losses, few teams need help from the BCS like this group. This team is such a long-standing joke that they refused to join any organized conference in fear of having to split what small amount of revenue the team managed to scrape up each year with the rest of their conference. In an attempt to salvage this perennial also-ran's status as a national player, the Bowl Championship Series committee took the unprecedented step of naming this university's athletic director to the committee as an equal to the eleven commissioner's of the NCAA's Division I-A conferences. Additionally, the BCS guarantees this lowly squad's place in one of the five BCS bowls if they finish in the top eight of the post-season rankings. That team? The Notre Dame Fighting Irish.

2. A Foolproof Scientific Methodology is Used. Most rating polls in college football are completely subjective. Left to the devices of coaches who see only a handful of games other than their own each year and a group of sports experts that have no credentials beyond their communications degrees and any alma-mater affiliation they may have from years gone by, rarely do these polls represent the actual strengths and weaknesses of all the nations' football squads. To help remedy this, the BCS has installed a highly scientific method of averaging out two of these totally subjective polls and leveraging in a handful of equally subjective computer polls, creating a "super-group" of subjectivity that can't help but become a fairly objective representation of the opinions of the masses. They call it the "two wrongs make a right" plan ... as in if you take one wrong poll and add it to another wrong poll, the results must be a right poll.

3. Championship Games Pit a True No. 1 versus a True No. 2. As a result of the foolproof planning the BCS committees have exhibited over the past decade, a fan is almost always guaranteed a championship matchup of the two teams who play the most mediocre schedule while remaining affiliated to a highly rated conference at least 50% of the time. Case-in-point, in the years 2004 and 2005, teams such as Auburn, Texas, and Michigan were denied a shot at a national title as a result of their reckless scheduling of in-conference games and their foolish idea of actually participating in a postseason conference playoff system.

4. Recent Results. Any BCS backer will be quick to tell you that the system has an unprecedented 100% success rate in brining you a first rate matchup of the undisputed top two teams in the land in games carrying the official "National Championship Game" designation. The proof to this is in the pudding — in 2007, No. 1 Ohio State was beat soundly by No. 2 Florida — the system had worked like a charm, much to the dismay of those anti-BCS masses. Oh, did I mention this is the only such game in the history of the BCS?

5. No "Bad Weather" Games. I don't know about you, but this fan finds few things more unnerving in life than kicking back on my sofa to watch an HDTV broadcast of the PapaJohn's.com Bowl only to be faced with the unyielding slight drizzle and temperatures in the mid-60s common to Birmingham, Alabama throughout the month of December. Thankfully, the BCS has had the foresight to schedule their five BCS bowl games in weather-friendly locales such as sunny southern California, temperate central Florida, and in the dry heat of Arizona, just to name a few. Never again will my BCS-watching be rudely interfered with by an unexpected strong breeze.

6. Expert Testimonials. The BCS website is littered with claims such as, "the celebration that occurs among the student-athletes, coaching staff, and fans at the end of each bowl game is an indication of the importance of all bowl games." Such glowing testimonials may well be expected on the organization's own website, but these comments are coming directly from the committee that signs off on all BCS decisions, making them that much more meaningful and reflective of the general public's opinions.

7. Financial Importance. Reflect, if you would, on the monetary import of these games to the 10 schools that participate. Of those 10, seven are likely perennial BCS game invitees. If a playoff system were to emerge, those seven schools that bank on that BCS bowl money would lose millions in sponsorship payouts and would be forced to unfairly share that wealth with the teams that wind up beating them in a revamped playoff system. How fair would it be for these schools to surrender their funds to the better team just because of a minor detail like the results of the game?

The Impact on Student-Athletes. Consider the plight of all those highly touted high school student-athletes who have dedicated their collegiate careers to playing the sport they've loved and excelled at since their youth at a school that they've watched on TV for years. Without the BCS bowl games, they'd never have chosen those famous institutions of higher learning as their secondary schooling destinations and may well be forced to see the inside of one of those "other" schools' classrooms once and awhile. Perish that thought.

9. FOX Affiliation. As a product of the television age, the import of all facets of my life is generally defined through TV affiliations. There is no bigger fish in that pond than the almighty FOX corporation, and their likeness is plastered all over the BCS and all related BCS propaganda. For my money, this fact goes further than silly historic results, sound reasoning and public preferences combined. Hey, if its good enough for "Haywire" and "The Pitts," than it sure must be good enough for me!

There you have it, nine tried and true reasons to believe in the Bowl Championship Series and its value to college football. And if this still isn't enough to get you drinking the proverbial Kool-Aid, than I submit to you that it could be far worse...

Just wait a few weeks and see for yourself.

Posted by Matt Thomas at 11:12 AM | Comments (0)

The NBA in 24 Seconds

This NBA offseason was one of the most volatile in the history of the league. Lost in the aftermath of the Tim Donaghy and Isiah Thomas scandals was a great basketball postseason followed by karma at its best. Every team that tanked in the Greg Oden/Kevin Durant sweepstakes failed to land in the top two.

So what happened? Things got even crazier.

Boston vaulted from cellar dwellers to prize guys. Oden is out for the year, and all signs look to Kobe Bryant exiting Los Angeles.

Now the NBA season is about to begin and we run the shot clock for the NBA lowdown.

:24 Can Isiah Thomas survive the season? Short answer: no. At the beginning of last year, James Dolan professed if Thomas did not make the playoffs, he would be fired. Well, the Knicks showed improvement, but missed the playoffs. Dolan bluffed. Now, Thomas is in the middle of another mess, one involving a sexual harassment. If Dolan wishes to save any face, he'll get rid of Thomas before he lowers the franchise any lower.

:23 LeBron James or Kobe Bryant? That's the debate a friend and I had recently. As we mulled Kobe trade possibilities, the idea of a straight up deal between Bryant and James came up. We both said no way. We both chose James. We both didn't know what to say after that. Bryant is arguably the best player in the NBA, but it has gotten to the point that no one wants him. I'm getting the feeling we are heading to a Randy Moss-type corollary. If Bryant were to go a team with more pieces and an actual chance at a NBA championship, would he remind everyone why he was considered the second coming just a few years ago. Now, I don't think there is anyone in the world who would take Bryant over James.

:22 How will the NBA react to the Tim Donaghy scandal? Things are still unclear on to what the affects of the Donaghy scandal will have on this season and the postseason. Every time there is a questionable call, will people start to whisper?

Earlier this month, David Stern acknowledged more than half of his 56 referees had violated NBA policies about casino gambling, but said none will be punished because he felt the rules were outdated.

Instead, Stern said he is altering the policies, leaning toward allowing referees to gamble in casinos during the offseason — except for betting in sportsbooks.

You can be assured that Stern will have everyone in the NBA keeping a close watch on the entire league, because the NBA cannot afford another scandal to this degree. And yes, every questionable call will lead to "is he on the take?" questions.

:21 What superstar will be traded? Last year, Allen Iverson, Kevin Garnett, and Paul Pierce were all rumored to be trade bait. This year, only Pierce has the same home address. And the only reason Pierce is still a Celtic is because Ray Allen and Garnett joined him there.

This year, the superstar at the head of the pack is Kobe Bryant. We all know the situation and who can blame him. Jerry Buss and company have fielded a subpar team with Bryant since the dynasty was dismantled in 2004.

Other than Bryant, Jermaine O'Neal, Jason Kidd, Richard Jefferson, Shawn Marion, and Andrei Kirilenko have all been linked to trade rumors. Of those, the only players I see moving are Kirilenko and O'Neal. Both will go, either at the trade deadline, or right before.

:20 All-NBA Team

C Tim Duncan — The guy is the best post player of the decade, and shows no signs of slowing down.

F Kevin Garnett — Will be rejuvenated in green, and lead the league in rebounds.

F LeBron James — Is one year away from staking claim to best player in the league.

G Kobe Bryant — Is one year away from relinquishing claim as best player in the league.

G Steve Nash — No one runs an offense better than the Canadian.

:19 Fantasy Sleeper of the Year — Rajon Rondo. The last month of last season, when most rookies are exhausted from their first NBA season, Rondo went off. When Doc Rivers finally decided to shorten the rotation and give Rondo the minutes he deserved at the point, the rookie averaged 13 points, 2.5 steals, 5.5 assists, and 5.8 rebounds.

This year, Rondo has a full year under his belt, "The Big Three," and will be pressured to make a lot of open shots. In other words, his points will either stay the same or go up, depending on how well he shoots. His assists will increase, dishing to Allen, Garnett, and Pierce. You are looking at a 14/9/5/2 guy. That's invaluable in fantasy circles. If you want a point guard later in the draft, pick this guy up. You won't be disappointed.

:18 Surprise Team — Atlanta Hawks. When you're picking your surprise team, you truly have to mean it. The Hawks will have one of the best front-courts in the East. Word is that during the offseason rookie Al Horford was already being nicknamed "Beast." Josh Smith is due for an all-star appearance, and Marvin Williams is prime for a breakout performance. In the backcourt, Joe Johnson will continue to progress and Josh Childress is the ideal hustle guy off the bench. The only weakness is at point guard, where the trio of Speedy Claxton, Anthony Johnson, and Acie Law will share the load. How far the Hawks go will depend on the trio's ability to distribute and keep defenses off balanced.

:17 Tim Thomas Award — This is a new award that goes to the player who balls out of his mind, with eyes of a fat new contract waiting in the wings. This year's winner: Jason Williams, Miami and Corey Maggette, LA Clippers (tie). Both players share the same situation. They are both being thrusted into starting roles by default, and both will be asked to make a sizeable contribution. For Jason Williams, with Gary Payton gone and Smush Parker as his backup, Williams will be asked to be the Memphis "White Chocolate," the smart, assist-making producer.

The Clippers will be relying on Maggette to fill the void left by Elton Brand and Shaun Livingston. This means, the forward will be asked to not only lead in scoring, but distribute and lead the team when Sam Cassell is resting his 57-year-old body. Look for him to average a double-double this year and command major money next year.

:16 6th Man — Is Leandro Barbosa still backing up Steve Nash? Yes? Barbosa will be the Sixth Man winner until he decides to go elsewhere. He is priceless to the Suns.

:15 Defensive Player of the Year — Tyson Chandler. Chandler is starting to show why he was a lottery pick for the Chicago Bulls. He grabs every board around him, and Byron Scott will utilize his defensive presence to funnel the opposing team's offense toward him. When it's all said and done, Chandler will average over 12 boards per game, 2 blocks per game, and a dozen changed shots per game.

:14 Comeback player of the year — Peja Stojakovic. The former all-star signed a five-year, $64 million contract as a free agent in July 2006. Last year, he earned all of that money sitting on his living room couch and on the bench. Stojakovic is back this year and the sharp shooter will give the Hornets the deep threat needed to keep Chris Paul distributing and leading the Hornets to a postseason berth.

:13 Most Improved — In the playoffs, Andrea Bargnani showed why he was the top pick in the draft. The Italian showed a moxy that most rookies don't even smell let alone emanate. That playoff zeal will prove dividends this season as he will improve greatly on his 11 points per game and 4 assists per game. Bargnani will also benefit greatly from the double teams placed on Chris Bosh and the attention given to Jason Kapono out on the perimeter. Both will allow Bargnani to display his deft touch and offense prowess around the rim.

:12 Coach of the Year — Rick Adelman. Jeff Van Gundy's time in Houston had greatly been over-extended. Now, the Rockets get to run some offense, and there is hardly anyone better in the NBA at getting teams to score than Adelman. The Rockets will go from a middle of the pack contender to a championship contender.

:11 Rookie of the Year – Easy, Kevin Durant. Do I really have to explain this?

:10 MVP – LeBron James showed last year that he can single-handedly lead a team to the NBA Finals. This year, it will be tougher and more unlikely, but he'll get some help somewhere along the way. James is the first player to lead all forwards in assists for four straight seasons since Larry Bird did it in the 1980s. The King averaged 27 points, 7 rebounds, and 6 assists per game. All will go up this year and you will be hard-pressed to find a better candidate for MVP.

In the Eastern Conference:

:9 Central — Chicago keeps getting younger and stronger. Although the Bulls are still without a low-post scoring threat, Tyrus Thomas will attempt to step into that role. The trio of Kirk Hinrich, Ben Gordon, and Luol Deng have been together for four years now and have gelled together. Ben Wallace can still affect the flow of a game on the defensive end, and Joakim Noah will give you all the hustle you need. Andres Nocioni and Thabo Sefolosha off the bench are other key ingredients to a team that has the pieces to make things happen.

:8 Southeast — I think Miami is a year older and a year slower to defend its Southeastern title. Orlando is younger, quicker, and has the Heat's old coach, Stan Van Gundy. The Magic made a big move in signing Rashard Lewis, who will give you 20 points per game and Dwight Howard will give you 20 and 10. The backcourt will be the biggest question mark. Can Jameer Nelson and J.J. Redick do the job? Luckily for the Magic, the Southeast is sorry, and they'll do just enough to take the division title.

:7 Atlantic – Boston Celtics. Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, Paul Pierce. Put me and Radio in that lineup and we'd win the Atlantic.

In the Western Conference:

:6 Southwest — Dallas was a team who never got used to being the favorite and it showed in the Golden State series. In Game 1, Avery Johnson schemed to the No. 8 seed Warriors instead of the other way around. The top team in the NBA doesn't change its play, others adapt to them. The Mavs learned their lesson and with the core still intact, will win the hardest division in pro basketball.

:5 Northwest — All last year, the Nuggets were looking for their identity. Allen Iverson joined the team midseason and the chemistry shifted and everyone looked to Carmelo Anthony and A.I. to do everything. Now the Nuggets have a healthy Marcus Camby and Kenyon Martin, plus the two all-stars. All that will lead to a scary situation up in the Rockies.

:4 Pacific — The Phoenix Suns still have the best first six in the Western Conference, chemistry wise. They all know where each other is going to be at any given time. Watching this team play is honestly poetry in motion and will easily trump the others in their division.

:3 Conference Finals — San Antonio vs. Dallas, Chicago vs. Detroit

:2 NBA Finals — San Antonio vs. Chicago

:1 NBA Champion — San Antonio in six

Posted by Wailele Sallas at 11:01 AM | Comments (0)

October 30, 2007

In the Box: NFL Week 8

Colts Pats Colts Pats Colts Pats Brady Brady Brady Manning Manning Manning Colts Pats Colts Pats Colts Pats Playoffs Playoffs Undefeated Colts Pats Bill Belichick Colts Pats Tony Dungy Colts Pats Moss Colts Pats Marvin Colts Pats Super Bowl Colts Pats Spygate Colts Pats Home Field Advantage Colts Pats Colts Pats Colts Pats.

Everything else.

Get used to it. With the Red Sox' quick dispatching of the Rockies and the long, slow train to the NBA Finals just barely turning its wheels, Colts/Pats is the hype machine perfect storm.

And because that's all everybody else is writing about, I'm going to go ahead and push up the mid-season recap and exclude everybody from the Pats and Colts. There are 30 other teams in the league, and, for these next 1,000 words or so, it's all about them.

The bests and mosts, worsts, and leasts:

Five Best Story Lines:

Derek Anderson, Braylon Edwards, and the resurgent Cleveland Browns

The rejuvenation of Brett Favre (breaking Dan Marino's TD record and the Packers are 6-1)

The developing comeback of the Saints from 0-4 to NFC South champs

The resilience of the Buffalo Bills

Return of the Living Dead (Kurt Warner, Daunte Culpepper, Vinny Testaverde)

Five Worst Story Lines:

Rex Grossman vs. Brian Griese

Travis Henry (nine kids by nine women and a possible year-long drug suspension)

Year one of the Bobby Petrino/post-Michael Vick era in Atlanta

The pre-mature death drums on Norv Turner (I repent)

Spygate (Can't leave it out; It's the defining story of the year)

Five Most Pleasant Surprises: Lions, Packers, Titans, Giants, Chiefs (especially on defense on those last two)

Five Biggest Disappointments: Bears, Bengals, Broncos, Rams, Dolphins (I knew those last two would stink, but damn)

Top five MVP candidates not named Tom Brady or Peyton Manning:

Jared Allen, DE, Kansas City (8 sacks in 5 games; completely transformed this Chiefs defense after a two-game suspension to begin the season)

Adrian Peterson, RB, Minnesota (740 yards rushing with a 5.8 average and 5 TD; 11 catches for 187 yards and a TD)

Ben Roethlisberger, QB, Pittsburgh (15 TD and 6 INT, 65% completion; Gets the nod over Tony Romo because he didn't throw 18 interceptions against the Bills)

LaDainian Tomlinson, RB, San Diego (527 yards rushing with a 4.3 average and 6 TD; 25 catches for 210 yards and a TD; 1 pass TD)

T.J. Houshmandzadeh (58 receptions for 629 yards and 9 TD)

Best Coaching Job: Romeo Crennel, Cleveland

Worst Coaching Job: Eric Mangini, NY Jets

Best Rookies (Offense): Peterson; Dwayne Bowe, WR, Kansas City; Marshawn Lynch, RB, Buffalo; Joe Thomas, LT, Cleveland; Joe Staley, RT, San Francisco; Selvin Young, RB, Denver, James Jones, WR, Green Bay

Best Rookies (Defense): Patrick Willis, LB, San Francisco; Jon Beason, LB, Carolina; Eric Wright, CB, Cleveland; LaRon Landy, S, Washington; Eric Weddle, S, San Diego; Amobi Okoye, DT, Houston

Best Rookies (Special Teams): Nick Folk, K, Dallas; Mason Crosby, K, Green Bay; Daniel Sepulveda, P, Pittsburgh; Yamon Figurs, KR, Baltimore; Jacoby Jones, PR, Houston

(If anybody knows a place to find special teams tackles, I'd love to see it.)

Most Productive Free-Agent Signings: Donnie Edwards, LB, Kansas City; Napoleon Harris, LB, Kansas City; London Fletcher, LB, Washington; Sean Mahan, C, Pittsburgh; Jeff Garcia, QB, Tampa Bay; Patrick Kerney, DE, Seattle; Shaun McDonald, WR, Detroit; Kevin Curtis, WR, Philadelphia (Maybe the Rams should have kept one of those last two.)

Least Productive Free-Agent Signings: Joey Porter, LB, Miami; Ashley Lelie, WR, San Francisco; Adam Archuleta, S, Chicago; Drew Bennett, WR, St. Louis; Jason David, CB, New Orleans; David Carr, QB, Carolina; Ahman Green, RB, Houston; Joey Harrington, QB, Atlanta

Coaches most in danger of being fired before the end of the season: Scott Linehan, St. Louis (I don't think it's going to happen, but this is the worst Rams team since they moved to St. Louis, including the Tony Banks years. That's going to be hard to survive.); Brian Billick, Baltimore (After last year's warning from the owner and the messy Jim Fossil divorce, a late-season tank might be the final straw.)

Five most damaging injuries: Andre Johnson, WR, Houston; Orlando Pace, LT, St. Louis; Jake Delhomme, QB, Carolina; Jonathan Ogden, LT, Baltimore; Mike Brown, S, Chicago

And because this is a column that recaps the previous Sunday, a brief recap of the ugliness that was Week 8:

Detroit 16, Chicago 7: Maybe the Bears should give that Grossman kid a chance.

Indianapolis 31, Carolina 7: The Panthers are 0-3 at home, 4-0 on the road. Weird.

Jacksonville 24, Tampa Bay 23: The Bucs have out-gained the Jags and Lions by a combined 350 yards over the past two weeks and lost both games.

New Orleans 31, San Francisco 10: In a world without Pats/Colts, Drew Brees' 31-of-39 for 336 yards and 4 TD is the headline of the weekend.

New England 52, Washington 7: It's like they got bored just throwing to Randy Moss all the time, so now they're going to everybody else. I can't wait to see how that Pats offense matches up against that Colts Tampa 2 with Bob Sanders the x-factor all over the field.

(Sorry. Won't happen again.)

San Diego 35, Houston 10: If I told you Team A had a 130-yard and 13-minute time of possession advantage over Team B, who would you think won the game?

(The Chargers were Team B.)

Buffalo 13, NY Jets 3: Chad Pennington finally lost his job. Next up, though probably not until after the season, offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer. His play-calling stinks.

Tennessee 13, Oakland 9: The Titans won an NFL game with six completed passes. What is this? 1951?

(Philip Rivers only completed 7 for San Diego, Quinn Gray 7 for Jacksonville, and Eli Manning 8 for the Giants. Like Young, all three won the game.)

NY Giants 13, Miami 10: I am shocked a game in England would be rain-soaked, soggy mess. Absolutely shocked.

Cleveland 27, St. Louis 20: On the road, the Browns committed 14 penalties for more than 100 yards and allowed nearly 400 yards to the opposing offense. And they won. Are there any rules of winning that apply anymore?

Philadelphia 23, Minnesota 16: If your game plan involves the words "Brooks Bollinger," you are going to lose.

Pittsburgh 24, Cincinnati 13: The Steelers should have won by more. They feel like a 12-win team who goes one-and-done in the playoffs.

Green Bay 19, Denver 13: First play of overtime, Brett Favre throws the bomb. Classic.

Seth Doria is a writer based out of St. Louis. For the only daily column that mixes sports, politics, and entertainment news in one, visit The Left Calf.

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 11:50 AM | Comments (0)

The Great Comeback Team

The anticlimactic nature of the 2007 World Series could have best been summed up in the top the eighth inning in Sunday night's Game 4, when news broke of Alex Rodriguez opting out of his mega-contract. Or, as it might be more correctly stated, when agent Scott Boras broke the news to his contacts that he was going to drop this on everyone during a World Series game.

And for that half-inning, a free-agency story on October 28 became bigger than the actual game on the field.

To be fair, who can blame FOX for the 10 close-ups of John Henry either on his Blackberry or talking to other Red Sox higher-ups?

After all, this postseason's best game was one that baseball doesn't even recognize as an actual playoff game (the NL tiebreaker between the Rockies and Padres). Plus, the thought of A-Rod moving to his current club's sworn arch-enemy was more intriguing than the game and the series being given to the average viewer.

The real story, however, to this average viewer who only watches baseball in very late September and October, was how the Red Sox had managed to come up so big with their arms and bats at every occasion necessary after losing Game 4 of the League Championship Series in Cleveland.

And at hardly any point in any of the seven straight Boston victories to close the postseason, did I believe that the Red Sox would lose even once.

Game 5 at Cleveland had Josh Beckett pitching for Boston in October, which would probably mean a loss for even the 1927 Yankees. Game 6 was a blowout from the start with J.D. Drew's lined Grand Slam shot to the Fenway Park center field camera stands.

Game 7 will see an 11-2 game officially in the record books, but was a 3-2 game in the seventh before Kenny Lofton was held at third, a decision that more or less ended the game for Cleveland given the quality of the Red Sox bullpen.

And the story continued with the Game 1 domination of Beckett and the bats over Jeff Francis and the over-rested Rockies. It's easy to forget that Colorado led in the top of the first in Game 2, but the confident Red Sox did just enough and won with the pitching of Curt Schilling, Hideki Okajima and Jonathan Papelbon, 2-1.

The marathon that was Game 3 was the one in which I had the feeling the Red Sox would lose, after Boston nearly let their six run lead run dry, after Matt Holliday's three-run centerfield homer. Game 4, while another one-run game, had the Red Sox bats striking early, with Papelbon earning another fantastic, over one-inning save.

All seven games, in their own ways, outlined the greatness of this Red Sox team. And I'm not talking about greatness as in "this team is now a dynasty," or "this team is one of the greatest ever," I'm talking about the ability for the Red Sox to have their backs against the wall in the 2004 LCS and 2007 LCS, and turn both into dominant World Series sweeps.

Despite having 80% roster turnover between 2004 and 2007, it seems like this team and their comeback was a direct extension of that team and that comeback.

Along the same lines, it really is no coincidence that after Game 4 in Cleveland, when David Ortiz and Schilling called a players-only meeting that the Red Sox resembled the team that won four straight do-or-die games against the Yankees.

When history looks back on this postseason, it will see that five out of seven postseason series were sweeps. The thing to remember, though, is what an outstanding team the Red Sox were when they had to be.

Posted by Ross Lancaster at 11:25 AM | Comments (0)

October 29, 2007

Already Past the Long Winter

Has it been that long since San Antonio swept Cleveland to win yet another title? Are we already that much past the Draft? Have we put all the rookie camps and preseason games behind us?

That's right. The NBA is back and rollin' the dice on another season (er, bad use of words ... sorry refs). With the League back in session this week, there's no time for these players to look back. They have to be full-speed ahead. No worries, gents. I've made it easy on you.

All you need to do is take some time and let me decide who will make the playoffs for you. No season of wear and tear. No long 8-13 day road trips. It's not even necessary to unpack your gear. Of course, you could try to prove me wrong (easier done than said). All right, lay it on me crystal ball. Who's got the goods to keep playing in late April?

Atlantic Division

This was basically a division of youth last season, with plenty of also-rans to fill in the gaps. Even with established names such as Paul Pierce, Jason Kidd, Vince Carter, and Stephon Marbury, the division-winning Raptors were led by relative youngster Chris Bosh.

That rep got shaken up during the offseason with Boston's huge facelift. The Celtics' acquisitions of Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett (while shuffling off most of their young core of players to Seattle and Minnesota) vastly improved their superstar punch. If we've learned anything from the past, it's that more than one big name helps when fighting for a title. If we've learned anything else (i.e. the 2004 L.A. Lakers), it's to keep from anointing a team too quickly.

Division winner: Boston
Other playoff qualifier: Toronto

Southeast Division

This could be the wildest division of all in '07-'08. The defending champs in Miami have loads of experience (I mean, by the jumbo jet-full). But do will they have enough legs to make a push? Washington has a handful of scoring talent, an underrated head coach, and one of the most clutch players in the game. But can they be consistent enough?

Atlanta looked improved at times last season, and Joe Johnson might make his worth out of that phat contract. But can the Hawks take the next step? Speaking of which, Orlando shot out of the gate to the best record in the conference through almost a quarter of last season. But can they be more consistent and move to the top of the standings?

As far as Charlotte goes, can they stay healthy and get any forward progress?

Division winner: Orlando
Other playoff qualifier: Atlanta (that's right, I said it)

Central Division

Three of the last four years, the Eastern Conference representative in the Finals has come from this division. At first glance, the East might want to look that way again for their best chance to swipe the trophy back from the West. Detroit still has most of their veteran nucleus and added some grinders in Arron Afflalo and Sammy Mejia. Cleveland apparently has enough in LeBron James.

The focus should be on Chicago. The Bulls continued to get deeper by drafting Joakim Noah's intensity, JamesOn Curry's athleticism, and Aaron Gary's physicality. That, and another year under the Toddler Bulls' belt (a little older than babies), should be enough to overtake the rival Pistons.

The Indiana Pacers started to gel late last season, just missing the final playoff spot. With Jermaine O'Neal back in the middle, plus another year of experience for guys like Danny Granger and Ike Diogu, I feel they will finish that push and get in the postseason over Washington and New Jersey.

Division champs: Chicago*
Other playoff qualifiers: Detroit, Cleveland, Indiana

Northwest Division

It's not so much a tale of haves and have-nots as it is one of in-style and ahead of its time. Utah gelled somethin' fierce on its way to the Western Conference finals last season. The maturation of Deron Williams and consistent play of Carlos Boozer might turn them into this generation's Stockton and Malone.

Denver might be one of the top three or four teams in the league when it comes to talent. But even with Carmelo Anthony, Allen Iverson, Marcus Camby, Kenyon Martin, and J.R. Smith, there's no substitute for underachieving. The players have the talent to pass by Utah again, but can they get over that last factor.

Minnesota, Portland, and Seattle are all young. But they will all be young and on the rise. I'm telling you right now, I would not want to be in this division come 2009. It sounds silly now, but I think they'll all be scary.

Division champs: Denver
Other playoff qualifiers: Utah

Pacific Division

This is becoming the run-and-gun division once again, with Phoenix and Phoenix Lite (Golden State) leading the way. They may not be the same, but their similar mentalities will drive opponents nuts. Steve Nash, Amare Stoudemire, and Shawn Marion will get the most wins, but Baron Davis, Stephen Jackson, and Al Harrington will provide plenty of fuel to the fire.

The L.A. teams appear to be stuck in the mud. Neither did much to improve or even shake up the locker rooms during summer vacation. The Clippers are starting to look fairly old and have the added weight of proving that their playoff run two seasons ago was no fluke. The Lakers are in deep with Kobe Bryant controversy and might be an entirely different team by opening night.

Sacramento has talent, but they have to usher in a new coach in Reggie Theus. He might have done wonders at New Mexico State, but this is a whole new ballgame.

Division champs: Phoenix
Other playoff qualifiers: Golden State

Southwest Division

In my mind, this is the deepest division in the Association. The defending champion Spurs have their entire crew back, which means trouble for everyone else that wears an NBA uniform. Even so, it was Dallas (not San Antonio) who had the league's best record last season. Then add in Houston, who jettisoned one playoff proven coach for another. A breath of that Texas air might be just what Rick Adelman needed.

New Orleans has a lot a talent waiting to explode on the scene. Problem is, they can't even light the fuse. Injuries have killed any and all opportunities for the Hornets to gain traction the last couple of years. If they stay healthy, watch out. Unfortunately, I don't see it that way.

Memphis is also fairly talented. They completely bottomed out last season after getting a decent seed in the playoffs two years back. People have been drooling over the play of rookie guard Mike Conley, Jr. If he can deliver the goods night in and night out, I think their start will re-rise quickly.

Division champ: Dallas
Other playoff qualifiers: San Antonio, Houston, Memphis (can you say shooting star?)

Well, since I laid out the divisions (however briefly), here's my pecking order for the playoffs ... five-plus months in advance.

Eastern Conference

1) Chicago
2) Boston
3) Orlando
4) Detroit
5) Toronto
6) Cleveland
7) Indiana
8) Atlanta

Western Conference

1) Phoenix
2) Dallas
3) San Antonio
4) Denver
5) Utah
6) Houston
7) Golden State
8) Memphis

Granted, there are a couple of surprises in the list. But for someone who actually got 13 out of the last season's 16 teams right (although, not exactly where), I'll take what I can get.

*Note: As I'm writing this, the Bulls are in talks to get Bryant from the Lakers. Although they might give up too much to threaten for a division crown if the trade happens, they'll have more than enough to get to the playoffs.

Posted by Jonathan Lowe at 11:48 AM | Comments (0)

Reflections on the World Series

The Colorado Rockies learned the hard way: the Boston Red Sox are just too talented. The 2007 World Series champions swept the Rockies and earned their second title in four years. The Red Sox were on the ropes in the American League Championship Series by trailing 3-1 at one point, but when you give a team like Boston a second life, they will make any team pay. The Cleveland Indians saw that first hand and the Rockies just experienced how deep and talented Boston truly is. The Red Sox do everything right: they have outstanding starting pitching, speed, power, and clutch hitting.

The Rockies entered the World Series at an historical rate. They won 21 of 22 games including a 7-0 record in the playoffs. However, they never faced a pitching staff that includes starting pitchers Josh Beckett, Curt Schilling, Daisuke Matsuzaka (Dice-K), and closer Jonathan Papelbon. Also, as good as the Rockies pitching staff was through the first seven playoff games, they never faced a murderer's row that includes Manny Ramirez, David Ortiz, and Mike Lowell. Lowell went on to win the World Series MVP by hitting .400 (6-for-15) with 4 RBIs, 3 walks, and a team-high 6 runs.

I really thought the Rockies could give Boston a series, but the nine-day layoff really affected this team. I know after the first game Colorado should be acclimated again to a live baseball game, but the fact is Boston had so much momentum that Colorado didn't even have a chance to capitalize on anything. In Game 1, the Rockies trailed 4-1 after the second inning. In Game 2, they were in the ballgame the entire time, but Schilling and the Red Sox bullpen dominated. Also, after the first two games, Colorado's bottom three hitters were a combined 3-for-33 with 11 strikeouts. It is tough to win any ballgame when one-third of your lineup is struggling so badly.

Colorado continued the trend of trailing early in Game 3 as they were quickly looking at a six-run deficit when the fourth inning was beginning. The Rockies showed heart by trying to climb out of the 6-0 lead that the Red Sox had built, but eventually Boston will capitalize, and they did, as they scored 4 runs in the last two innings to win by the score of 10-5. In Game 4, Colorado failed to pick up key hits, twice stranding runners at second base and the bullpen failed to pitch effectively.

Boston, however, did what they have done all series long, and that is pitch well and pick up key hits. Pinch hitter Bobby Kielty hit a home run in the top of the eighth, which ended up being the deciding run in the game. Colorado cut the lead to one in the bottom of the eighth inning on a Garrett Atkins two-run home run, but Boston brought in Papelbon, and he shut the door, recording the last five outs in the ballgame.

As a baseball fan, you have to respect the Rockies and what they did to get this far. They went on a historical winning streak and they proved that a small market team can win, but they faced a juggernaut, and sometimes that is all it takes for a team to cool down quickly. Boston deserves the championship as they won seven straight games to end their championship season. They also outscored all their postseason opponents by the score of 99-46. The Red Sox mixed veterans with young budding superstars, and have the makings of a team that can continue to play at a high level for years to come.

By the Numbers

Avg: Boston: .333; Colorado: .218
ERA: Boston: 2.50; Colorado: 7.68
RISP: Boston: .419; Colorado: .167
Extra Base Hits: Boston: 21; Colorado: 10

Posted by Phil Backert at 11:30 AM | Comments (0)

October 25, 2007

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 8

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Cleveland @ St. Louis (+3)

Is this what they call a "trap" game in the business? The surprising Browns are 3-3 and rested from a bye week, and travel to St. Louis to face the winless Rams, who couldn't "score" even if Courtney Love's life depended on it. One would think the Rams would be easy pickings, but Romeo Crennel doesn't take any team lightly.

"The giant arch in St. Louis signifies the city's stature as the 'Gateway to the Midwest,'" says Crennel, often mistaken for a jack o'lantern around this time of year. "Legend has it that if you can walk under that thing without bumping your head, you can beat the Rams. I don't know about that, but I've preached to my team not to be overconfident. There's only one thing I'm truly concerned about, and that's blowing a 3-1 lead to the Rams. In baseball, they call blowing a 3-1 lead 'getting an Eric Wedge-ie.' Sounds embarrassing to me. I've had wedgies before, some which resulted in the total disappearance of my underwear. Luckily, they turned up inside John Malcovich's head."

St. Louis coach Scott Linehan's job is in jeopardy, baby, ooo-ooooh. His job's in jeopardy, baby, ooo-ooooh. Yeah, that's right. I just went 'Greg Kihn' on you. The Rams are 0-7 and rumors are rampant that Linehan will be fired unless the Rams win their last nine games and win the NFC West.

"That's incredibly likely," says Torry Holt, who hails from the town of Gibsonville, North Carolina, which is famous for ... well ... I'm not sure if it's famous for anything. So, if anyone is reading out there in Gibsonville, give me a shout out and tell me why Gibsonville is famous.

What, winning your last nine?

"No, silly," replies Holt. "I mean 9-7 winning the NFC West. That would probably win it by two or three games. Anyway, the malicious rumors about Coach Linehan's firing are just that ... malicious. That doesn't mean they're not true. In fact, Coach Linehan's resume is out on Monster.com. He's already looking for work as an assistant special teams coach, or something with light clerical duty."

Browns win, 27-21.

Detroit @ Chicago (-5)

If not for Brian Griese's 15-yard touchdown pass to Muhsin Muhammad with nine seconds left in Philadelphia last week, the Bears would be 2-5 and slap dab at the bottom of the NFC North. Thanks to the their heroics, Chicago is 3-4 and well within the hunt to slip into that last wild card spot and play the NFC's third-ranked team, although the first wildcard spot would be more desirable, since they'd be playing the winner of the NFC West and would probably have a better record than that division's winner.

"We were staring disaster in the face," says Lovie Smith. "An image of Steve Bartman, a billy goat, and a cow kicking over a lantern flashed before my eyes. That kind of thought is erotic to some sick, perverted people, me among them, so I apologize if I didn't erase that mental picture immediately from my mind. Anyway, we've got a long way to go before we can start talking playoffs. Right now, this team bears no resemblance to last year's group, except that, at 3-4, we're still overrated. I guarantee this: the Lions won't score 34 points in the fourth quarter."

That is, Lovie, unless they have to.

Detroit scored a whopping 34 points in the fourth quarter to stun the Bears 37-27 in Week 4. Obviously, the Bears will be out for revenge, but with a win and a Green Bay loss at Denver on Monday, the Lions would be tied with the Packers atop the NFC North. And, the Lions would be halfway to Jon Kitna's preseason prediction of 10 wins.

"Look, I don't practice Santeria," says Kitna. "I don't got no crystal ball. If I had a million dollars, I doubt I'd bet a penny on my prediction coming true. But what's wrong with making guarantees? People do it everyday. Who has the right to say I'm wrong for doing it? George Foreman guarantees that we won't pay a lot for a muffler. Does anyone question him? No. Should we? Absolutely. Big George is nuts, and his word is not reliable. I'm making guarantees, and I don't have five sons named Jon Kitna. So, my guarantees should hold more credence that George's."

The fable of one of Aesop's least known tales is "When you suck, every game is a must-win game." The Bears read that story before bed every night. They've lived, they've died, they've been resuscitated, almost as many times as Mötley Crüe's Nikki Sixx. This time, Chicago doesn't blow a fourth-quarter lead and the Bears win, 27-24.

Indianapolis @ Carolina (+6 ½)

You know, you can't blame the Colts if they are looking ahead to their Week 9 matchup with the Patriots, or if they're looking ahead to their January 20th throwdown with those same Patriots in the AFC Championship Game. In any case, Peyton Manning and the Colts will have to be ready for a Carolina squad primed for the biggest event in Charlotte since Starrcade '83.

"Me? Look past the Panthers?" says Manning. "Why would I look past them when I can look through them? I can see the Patriots in Week 9 and four states. That Carolina secondary is practically transparent. As for Tom Brady assaulting my touchdown record, I faced better defenses in the NFL Skills Challenge."

To get past the Panthers, Manning and company will have to vanquish a Carolina team led by 43-year-old Vinny Testaverde, who's genetically related to dirt. Testaverde is a student of the game and is familiar with the Colts offense.

"I know the Colts very well," says Testaverde. "I've played against the Colts. I played against the Colts when they were in Baltimore. Heck, I was around when they incorporated Baltimore as a city. But my role may still be as backup to David Carr. And David is very familiar with this Colts defense. As a Texan, he was sacked by them on numerous occasions. No wonder the kid has back problems. He's been on it way too much. I always found it odd that when David said he wanted to review game tape, he'd go lay on the field and look at the clouds. Inevitably, he'd always find the shape of a defensive end in the clouds. C'est la vie."

Can the Panthers do their part to ruin the possible Week 9 matchup of undefeateds? I don't think so. Manning will pick apart the Carolina secondary early, then, with a healthy lead, Indy will kill the clock on the ground. Indy's defense is not choosy; they harass quarterbacks young and old, and like Ryan Seacrest, Bob Sanders delivers the hits. Colts win, 29-17.

NY Giants @ Miami (+9 1/2)

Instead of rolling in to Dolphins Stadium with a five-game winning streak and a boatload of confidence, which has a street value in Miami of $4 million, the Giants will head to London, England, to be part of the NFL's "Teach a Bloke The Bloody Game of American Football" enrichment program. The G-Men are playing a relaxed brand of football, which has coach Tom Coughlin rethinking his authoritarian ways. In fact, Coughlin even canceled a walk-through on the trans-Atlantic flight to London, although he insisted his players view a training film on proper British etiquette.

"I just want these guys to understand the English ways," says Coughlin. "The 'Queen Mother' is not a female rapper. A 'beefeater' is a Palace guard, not a woman of the night. The 'throne' is a seat of absolute honor and not a place of reading. And teeth are a privilege, not a right."

The Dolphins are 0-7 and quite possibly the worst team in America with designs on conquering the other six continents. They'll start with Europe, where soccer is king and Elizabeth is queen.

"Look, if you want to crown her, then crown her!" says Cameron, showing the agitated edge reminiscent of Dennis Green, who, incidentally, just stormed from the dais at a Parent-Teacher Organization meeting when his son was edged for top seller at the last minute in the chocolate bar fundraiser. "Oops! I guess I should be careful. If I say that in the United Kingdom, I could end up in the Tower of London, never to be heard from again, or missed for that matter. Maybe I wasn't cut out for coaching. As the name 'Cam Cameron' more aptly suggests, I should have been a local television anchorman. Oh, one more thing that we American footballers should be aware of: a 'set piece' is a designed soccer play, and not a steady girlfriend."

The Dolphins are listed as the home team for this game, which obviously does not give them any type of advantage whatsoever. It does, however, mean that the many acts of hooliganism sure to take place will be perpetrated on their behalf. Let's just hope some real New York Football Giants fans make the trip to present their own brand of drunken violence. Ah, I love football in London.

In England, as in America, the Dolphins go down. Eli Manning throws two touchdown passes, one on a Hail Mary to Plaxico Burress, who, despite coverage by four Dolphin defenders who forget that there is a ball in the air. Giants win, 27-13. Burress is knighted, and Cameron is crowned King Nothing.

Oakland @ Tennessee (-7)

Even without Vince Young, the Titans eeked out a 38-36 win over the Texans behind the steady and sober play of Kerry Collins, and the right leg of Rob Bironas, who kicked an NFL-record eight field goals, including the game-winner.

"Ooh he makes my motor run, motor run, the kicker by the name of Rob Bironas," says Jeff Fisher, who actually sang backup on The Knack's 1983 hit "My Sharona" and also played bass for Pure Prairie League. "Wish he could have gone for number nine, Bironas."

The Raiders dropped a 12-10 decision at the Black Hole to the Chiefs and fell to 2-4, placing them last in the AFC West. Much to the chagrin of owner Al Davis, it looks like the Raiders may be there to stay, as they have three division losses, one each to the Chiefs, Chargers, and Broncos.

"Hey, it's too bad the Titans' home-field is no longer called Adelphia Coliseum," says Davis, replenishing his bodily fluids with his favorite flavor of Gatorade, 'Embalming Fluid Flash.' "Then they could have called it the 'A-Hole.' Former Raiders coach Bill Callahan, now coach of Nebraska, has added a little Raider flavor to his home field, calling it the 'Corn Hole.' The possibilities are endless. Tampa could play at the 'Buc-Hole.' Cleveland could play at the 'Brown-Hole.'"

Expect the Titans to punish the Raiders on the ground and play defense like they did against the Texans for three quarters, in which they didn't allow an offensive touchdown. Tennessee wins, 23-13. Bironas kicks three field goals, then outworks a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest for first place at the county fair.

Philadelphia @ Minnesota (+1)

After a stunning, last-second loss to the Bears last Sunday in Philly, the Eagles are 2-4 and last in the tough NFC East. The Eagles are 0-2 in the division, and 0-1 in games following training room accidents in which John Runyon falls trying to get into a tub.

"I've heard of quarterbacks with accuracy problems throwing the ball," says Donovan McNabb, "but never have I heard of accuracy being an issue when getting into a tub. I may be injury-prone, but I've never hurt myself trying to get into a tub. My completion percentage is 100% when it comes to entering fixtures of lavatorial hygiene. In layman's terms, I'm not a goof. Is Runyan the guy I want protecting my right side? If he can't get into a tub, can he even get out of a three-point stance? Anyway, I hope we can get back on the winning track. In fact, I'm beside myself at the prospect of going to Minnesota and beating the Vikes, or maybe that's just the sports hernia talking."

After rushing for 224 yards two weeks ago versus the Bears, Adrian "Minnesota Fast" Peterson only had 12 carries in the Vikes' 24-14 loss in Dallas last Sunday. The move had many Minnesota fans scratching their heads and coming to the realization that they have more hair than that over-dressed cue ball Brad Childress, and obviously more brains, since any coach with sense about him would have given Peterson at least 20 carries. Especially in a close game in which the Vikings were successfully moving the ball on the ground. But, like many coaches who are clearly in over their heads, Childress defended his actions with the pure logic of a psychopath.

"Curses!" yells Childress. "If it wasn't for those meddling kids, my plan would have worked. Damn that hippy and his talking Great Dane! I sat in the pumpkin patch all night waiting for the Great Pumpkin to give me that winning game plan."

Wait a minute. Did you just plead the "Sccoby Doo-Charlie Brown Halloween defense?"

Yeah, why not?" replies Childress. "Didn't it work for O.J. Simpson?"

McNabb rediscovers Kevin Curtis, who always seems to appear just when you think he's disappeared.Philadelphia wins, 22-16.

Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati (+3 ½)

Who dey, who dey, who dey think gonna beat them Bengals? Somebody? Anybody? Not the Jets. The Bengals beat New York 38-31 to improve from 1-4 and last in the AFC North to 2-4 and last in the AFC North. That's progress. Two more wins and Chad Johnson can start touchdown celebrations again. Before the Jets game, Johnson vowed not to perform a touchdown celebration until the Bengals winning percentage reaches .500. In the Bengals' locker room, that's called "leadership."

"Yeah, I know, it's going to be tough on my fans to have to wait for a celebration," says Johnson. "But what about my feelings? Do you know how hard it is for me not to celebrate a touchdown? Not as difficult as it was restraining myself from reaching over and slapping Keyshawn Johnson during our interview. But difficult nonetheless. Ocho Cinco just wants to have fun. Hey, I get disgruntled at times, but do you ever see me quit. I've got to be me. Maybe, one day, I'll have a change of heart and become a quitter and a pouter. If that happens, I sure hope I get traded to the Patriots. Now, as far as my celebrations go, I've got a bunch of material queued up. I guess everybody will have to wait for my 'Josephine Baker Banana Dance.'"

Can a game be any more important to the struggling Bengals? Despite all their problems, and 2-4 record, a win by Cincinnati would put them only one game out of first place in the AFC North. It's equally as important to the Steelers, who always seem to falter just when they are on the verge of joining the AFC's elite. Last week, the Steelers grip on the North loosened a bit when they lost to Denver.

"Hey, any given Sunday," says Mike Tomlin.

Yeah, great movie.

"No, I mean any team can beat another on any given Sunday in this league," says Tomlin. "Can Cincy beat us? Sure. Will they? I doubt it. The bengals have the scent of a loser, we'll put the heat on, and they'll be in for a dog day afternoon. Hoo ha!"

A capacity crowd, already giddy with Halloween excitement, have Paul Brown Stadium rocking. Everything and everyone are decked in orange-and-black, including the 'Inmates Working' signs outside the stadium. It's an atmosphere that screams "upset," but the Steelers, like that neighbor that gives you fruit instead of candy, disappoint. Pittsburgh wins, 38-35.

Buffalo @ NY Jets (-3)

The Jets blew a 23-10 lead over the Bengals on their way to a 38-31 loss and a 1-6 record. This time, it all couldn't be blamed on Chad Pennington, although he still shops at The Casual Male and his mother puts that neat little part in his hair every morning, and he threw an interception that was returned for a touchdown. Most of the blame fell on the Jets rushing defense, which surrendered 171 yards. No matter who you choose to blame, ultimately the complicity lies with head coach Eric Mangini, who's very close to having his MENSA membership revoked.

"Chad played well enough for us to win," says Mangini. "Gosh, I can't remember the last time I said that. Anyway, we had some defensive breakdowns that even a genius can't fix. We lack a run-stuffing defensive tackle, preferably one with Jabba The Hut-like size and cat-like quickness of Ernie Ladd. But maybe I could be a little tougher on the players in the locker room. You know, I'm not too proud of the fact that my pre-game speeches have been dubbed the 'Mangina Monologues.'"

Unlike the Jets, the Bills aren't afraid to make a quarterback change. Trent Edwards remained the starter despite the availability of incumbent starter J.P. Losman. Edwards did exactly what the coaching staff asked of him, nothing, as Buffalo whipped the Ravens 19-14.

"Hey, I'm not a big fan of our offense either," says Edwards. "When I asked Coach Jauron to 'open up' the playbook, he did just that. He opened it. And when I saw those pictures of Dick and Jane and their dog Spot, I just knew we would be offensively-challenged. I don't get it. We're in the AFC East, home of the Patriots, who obviously have firepower and then some. We, the Jets, and Dolphins don't present much of a challenge, whereas the Colts, in the South, have to work a little harder to stay unbeaten. The point is: we're never going to win a Super Bowl, much less the division, running an offense like this. So why run it?"

Hey, some offensive coordinators have to eat, you know. Some can get by on bologna sandwiches alone.

Jets win, 17-16.

Houston @ San Diego (-10 ½)

The Chargers return from a bye week with an upgrade at the wide receiver position, obtaining Chris Chambers from the Dolphins for a 2008 second-round pick. That gives the Chargers a wide receiver tandem of Chambers and Vincent Jackson, who are no Wes Chandler and John Jefferson, but Philip Rivers is no Dan Fouts, either. Rivers can't even grow any facial hair, much less a Grizzly Adams beard like the one Fouts sported, and he darn sure is no master of the tippy-toed, back pedal, 17-step drop that Fouts mastered.

"Hey, facial hair does not make the quarterback," says Rivers. "Name me one quarterback with facial hair who's won a Super Bowl. Ha! Didn't think you could do it. I don't want the Dan Fouts beard, nor do I want the full mustache of San Diego Padres hero Kurt Bevacqua. And it's a good thing, because I'm shaving will soap and a butterknife right now. And I'm suddenly interested in women. But seriously, we think we've turned our season around and are headed in the right direction. We can win our division and duke it out with the Steelers for the AFC's No. 3 seed and a sure second-round exit in the playoffs. But if we win a first-round game, our season is a success."

The Chargers will face a beat-up Houston squad reeling from a 1-4 record in their last five games. Injuries forced Matt Schaub out of last week's game twice, the last because of a helmet-to-helmet hit by the Titans' Albert Haynesworth.

"Let's see," says Schaub. "Haynesworth has stomped on a player's face and he cheap-shotted me with his helmet. What's next? Is he going to hip check someone into the boards? Or, worse yet, sit on their head? I understand he's walking around saying 'Wait 'til I get my Haynes (worth) on you.' That's disturbing, much like turning the corner on the sidewalk and seeing Michael Myers of Halloween fame casually, yet menacingly, lounging by a stand of shrubbery. Or seeing Shawne Merriman across the line of scrimmage."

San Diego wins, 32-16.

Jacksonville @ Tampa Bay (-4)

It's a battle of the Sunshine State, but don't expect any sunny smiles from Jack Del Rio and John Gruden. Both the Jaguars and Bucs are coming off losses and have lost some points in the power rankings, but don't expect these two teams to go way. Jack Del Rio is still one of the coolest names ever, right up there with former baseball knuckleballer and nail file collector Gaylord Perry, former two-time Olympic 110-meter hurdles gold medalist Roger Kingdom, and Foo Fighters guitarist Pat Smear. Del Rio also wears the sweaty shirt and tie look better than anyone. Gruden's fashion statements are limited to an endless collection of Buccaneers visors, although, with Halloween approaching, don't be surprised if Gruden appears on the sideline in a real pirate hat.

"Yo ho ho and a rugby scrum," says Gruden. "David Garrard's left ankle is bum. Yo ho ho and a bullfight 'ole,' the Jags' new starter is ... Quinn Gray?"

Yeah, that's right. Quinn Gray gets the start for the Jaguars. And the Jaguars' simple offensive play book just got even simpler.

"Quinn's got to be better about following his progressions," says Del Rio. "I'll make sure he'll be able to do that. It's easier to check down your progressions when you have only one, the handoff to a running back."

There will be nothing cat fancy about the Jacksonville scheme; it's run heavy. Tampa's will be just the opposite: pass heavy. Scoring? Light. Tampa wins, 17-16.

New Orleans @ San Francisco (+2 ½)

The Saints head to San Francisco in a battle of two teams headed in different directions. New Orleans has won two straight after and 0-4 start, while the 49ers have dropped four in a row after jumping out of the gate at 2-0. Despite their differing routes, the Saints and 49ers know that it will lead them to the same destination: home ... for the playoffs. Sunday's outcome will likely hinge on the play of running backs Reggie Bush and Frank Gore.

"I'm carrying my team right now," says Bush, "like they were related to me. There's no 'gold rush' in San Francisco. In fact, there's no 'rush' in 'Frisco. I'm not even sure Gore is the man in San Francisco. Everybody knows Dirty Harry Callahan calls the shots in this town, and he still violates suspects civil rights like no other. On the other hand, I am the man in New Orleans, despite what Aaron Neville says. I was the grand marshall of the Mardi Gras parade. Gore? He was simply a willing participant in downtown 'Frisco's 'Bay Pride' parade. Pound for pound, I'm the better back."

As for quarterbacks, Drew Brees and Trent Dilfer have one thing in common: they both love their eye black. Brees, however, makes better use of it. Before the game, Brees sneaks into the 49er locker room and writes "Helter Skelter" in eye black on Dilfer's locker. Dilfer is shaken up, and throws an interception and fumbles once, proving yet again that the ball is safer in the grasp of Edward Scissorhands than his own. Saints win, 23-20.

Washington @ New England (-16)

Tom Brady threw 6 touchdown passes, the last coming with the Patriots clinging to a tenuous 49-21 lead in the fourth quarter, as New England nipped the Dolphins 49-28 last week. Brady re-entered the game after backup Matt Cassel threw an interception, and Brady tossed a scoring pass to Wes Welker. Asked about the situation later, Bill Belichick, who avoids straight answers like the plague, insisted he was concerned about the Dolphins possibly narrowing the Pats' lead to 14 points.

"Fourteen points is not always a safe lead in this league," says Belichick. "There's nothing wrong with driving another nail in the coffin, even when there's more nail than coffin. You've got to go for the jugular, even when the body has been completely exsanguinated. Sometimes, you just have to reach into a team's body cavity and rip the heart out. I would expect nothing less from my competitors. However, if someone expects to thrust their hand into my rib cage and retrieve a beating, red heart, they'll be sadly mistaken, because my heart is just a mass of cold, black steel."

The Redskins enter certain doom after surviving a last-second touchdown, a missed two-point conversion, a successful onside kick, and a wide-left field goal attempt for the win over Arizona and the bionic left arm of Kurt Warner. Like Belichick, Gibbs has three Super Bowl rings, but has never been caught for illegally filming an opposing coach and therefore has never been fined by the NFL for cheating. As such, Gibbs does not have the reputation as a cheater and thereby does not feel the need to run up the score on teams whose players or coaches may or may have not said or implied that said cheaters' wins were tainted. So Gibbs does not have the grumpy demeanor that makes players, coaches, and even analysts and announcers fearful of speaking a critical word about him, lest he unleash some type of retribution on them.

"So you're saying," says Gibbs, "that Belichick is the Tony Stewart of the NFL? He thinks everyone's out to get him and he's never done anything wrong? You know, the District of Columbia is no stranger to spying scandals. Watergate had 'Tricky Dick;' Spygate has 'Tricky 'Chick.' I commend Coach Belichick on his boldness and shrewdness. He knows players and he knows football. Who else would have taken a chance on Randy Moss? Just for argument's sake, let's say Moss was a former crackhead running for mayor of D.C. Should he get another chance? Maybe. Luckily for Moss, only one person chose to take a chance on him. In the case of Marion Barry, practically a whole city chose to elect an admitted crack user. The point is this: Randy Moss would make a better mayor of D.C. than Marion Barry."

Can the Redskins slow down this Patriot offense? How can you stop a team who uses the "Hail Mary" play on second down, in the first quarter? Then uses it again in the second quarter. How do you stop Tom Brady, who, obviously, is better at "play-action" than anyone else? You could try and have Bridget Moynahan sing the pre-game national anthem, but Brady's proven he's unflappable. New England wins, 33-13.

Green Bay @ Denver (-3)

Jason Elam's 49-yard field goal as time expired lifted the Broncos to a 31-28 win over the Steelers, giving Elam the game-winning kick in all three Denver wins this year. Sure, that's something for Elam to be very proud of, but can the Broncos, as a team, be content that winning in such fashion is something on which they can rely on a weekly basis?

"Why not?" says Denver's Mike Shanahan. "I've been riding my tandem bicycle all by myself since John Elway left. Now, I think it's time to give Elam a seat. Anyway, I've always fancied myself somewhat of a leg man. Besides, Elam presents a much more aerodynamic figure than Elway. John always created a lot a drag, especially when he smiled and exposed those horse teeth to the very wind we were trying to knife through."

The Packers used their bye week for some high altitude training, taking some hot air balloon rides above the Wisconsin plains.

"Most of the guys had been this high before," says Brett Favre, "but we felt it would be a good idea to let some of the others know what it's like to breathe at altitude. To me, air is like receivers: they're pretty much all the same. But personally, I have some unfinished business with the Broncos. They kept me from winning my second Super Bowl. This time, however, we're not going to lay down and let them score the winning touchdown. Unless we need to get the ball back to score the tying touchdown. Then we'll gladly do it."

Can the Broncos get emotional for the second-straight week in a prime time game? Can the NFC get a little respect? The 5-1 Packers are three point underdogs to the 3-3 Broncos? I guess Vegas is buying in to Shanahan's diabolical 'Jason Elam kicks the game-winning field goal in all of our wins' stratagem. Elam kicks the game-winner, again. However, it's an extra point. Denver wins, 23-22.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:57 AM | Comments (0)

Where the Yankees Would Be Loved

I sometimes refer to myself as an anti-conspiracy theorist. I'm not naive enough to think that everything in history went down exactly like the textbooks say, but I have noticed that most conspiracy theories told are self-serving and beneficial to the teller.

Sports are no different. No one thinks the refs or the media is easy on their team, or even fair to them. In fact, the way these woe-is-me echo chambers of paranoia combust so easily is what drives me away from sports message boards these days. Everyone sees the sports world through their own inadequate looking glass.

That said, I really have to wonder about the timing of the media leak that Paul Byrd took Human Growth Hormone. The day of game 7 of the ALCS, with things slipping away from the Indians? That's when someone decided to tip off the San Francisco Chronicle (Byrd maintains that he only took HGH under a doctor's prescription and supervision)? Is it worth noting that the steroid investigation's head, George Mitchell of the George Mitchell Report, sits on the Red Sox board?

So tell me, readers. Am I just being a paranoid Indians fan, or am I right to wonder about the timing of this?

Maybe it's just because the Indians lost, but these days, the Red Sox and their Nation make it harder and harder to be a Yankee hater.

For starters, I do indeed love New York, the city. Haven't been to Boston, but I keep reading about surprising (in this day and age) accounts of ugliness and even racism, such as the saga of Pumpsie Green, the first black player to play for Boston on the very last team in the league to integrate.

Secondly, it's very easy to root against Bill Simmons, Boston's most visible, obnoxious torch-bearer, their fans just somehow seem more contemptible than fans of other teams. I can't put my finger on it. Maybe it's simply the wicked awesome Bahston accent and verbiage. Not a pretty sound.

Thirdly, I never forgave Manny Ramirez for leaving, and I'll never forget the Akron Beacon Journal's account of a conversation between Ramirez and the Tribe's clubhouse manager. Allegedly, Manny wanted to stay in Cleveland, even for less money ... but he's afraid the rest of the league would think he was stupid and make fun of him if he did.

Still, while I count two diehard Yankee fans among my friends, two of the nicest guys you will ever meet (I know no big Red Sox fans), I can't quite bring myself to say I support the Yankees in the legendary rivalry. When someone asks me if I'm behind the Sox or the Yankees, my answer is always, "neither." While that's technically true — I do not have a horse in that race — it's an evasive answer. When the Yankees/Red Sox are on television, you're pulling for one of those teams, even if neither is your steady.

And yet I just cannot bring myself to root for the Yankees, unless a win by them benefits the Indians. It just feels wrong. I am an underdog lover, and no matter how much the Red Sox open their wallet and spend like the Yankees, they will continue to be the underdogs until they win thirty-odd more World Series titles.

The English soccer version of Red Sox/Yankees, at least at the moment if not historically, is Manchester United/Chelsea. I've written before about the fascinating differences between American sports culture and European sports cultures, because not only are they different, but opposites in many cases, and a rebuke of their own political culture (in short, European sports leagues are run much more capitalistically then the revenue-sharing, parity-emphasizing American sports scene).

Man U/Chelsea is another great example. Man U are definitely the Yankees there, the most storied and successful side in the history of english football, if not all of Europe. It's the first and usually the only English soccer team the average American can name.

Chelsea is the new kid on the block. They weren't even in the top league as recently as 1989, and didn't make the top three in the league after that for another 10 years.

Since then, though, Chelsea has battled for the top spot with Man U and other interlopers regularly ... yet in the message boards, press, and pubs, it's very clearly Chelsea that has earned the nation's enmity. They say Chelsea bought their way into competitiveness (true), say they will never be "loved" like Man U is, and frequently refer to them as "Chelski," a derogatory reference to the Russian owner that his seen them through to competitiveness.

The first charge, the one about buying a championship, is curious. If you're a fan of a lesser team, wouldn't you kill for it? Or are you saying, "If we get bought by a fabulously wealthy businessman, I sure hope he passes up on the stars of the world and just concentrates on investment in the youth squads and development!"

Is Man U any better? Perhaps, but by an utterly negligible margin. I count three meaningful contributors to the Man U senior club that came up through their system: Paul Scholes, Wes Brown, and Gary Neville. Chelsea has one, John Terry. The rest of the guys on both teams are the world's best, and didn't come cheap.

So why is it okay for Manchester United to buy guys like Cristiano Ronaldo and Wayne Rooney, and despicable when Chelsea does it? I have no clue. But Yankee fans can take heart that, in jolly old England, it is they, the overdogs and legends, who would be universally loved.

Posted by Kevin Beane at 11:49 AM | Comments (2)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 32

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jeff Gordon — Gordon started on the pole and led the most laps, but couldn't complete the trifecta, finishing third after a lengthy and spirited battle with Jimmie Johnson. Gordon's lead in the points was trimmed from 68 to 53.

"I think there were cautions within cautions," says Gordon. "I think the flag man will have to undergo Tommy John surgery after blowing out his elbow."

2. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson won for the seventh time this year with a grueling win at Martinsville, where he held off teammate Jeff Gordon and Penske's Ryan Newman. Johnson slipped under Gordon with 44 laps remaining and held on after several patience and nerve-racking cautions and restarts. He now trails Gordon by 53 points.

"It was a blast racing against Jeff under green," says Johnson. "All 3/4 laps of it."

3. Clint Bowyer — Bowyer raced to a ninth-place finish in the Subway 500, his 16th top-10 of they year, but that was not nearly enough to gain ground on Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson. Bowyer trailed Gordon by 78 entering the race; now he's 115 behind, and 62 behind Johnson in second.

"Sure, it looks like an all-Hendrick battle at this point," says Bowyer. "But anything is possible. If two Formula 1 McLaren drivers can blow a last-race lead, as Fernando Alonso and Lewis Hamilton did in Brazil, then so can two Hendrick drivers. It will take teamwork on their part, like taking each other out in four consecutive races."

4. Tony Stewart — Stewart finished 13th in Martinsville, which would have been a decent result in April, but not in October when you entered the race trailing the points leader by almost 200 points. Stewart holds on to fourth in the points, but is now 249 behind Jeff Gordon.

"How many caution flags were there?" asks Stewart. "21? I think there were an equal number of spins by Martin Truex alone. His DEI car had a working engine; it was just lacking a driver."

5. Kyle Busch — Busch was part of an unstoppable Hendrick Motorsports contingent, finishing fourth behind race winner Jimmie Johnson and Jeff Gordon in third. Busch is in sixth in the points standings, 290 out of first.

"That was a four-hour traffic jam disguised as a race," says Busch. "Some fans were so excited by what they witnessed that they had to go relive it personally by leaving the track and sitting in traffic for four more hours."

6. Carl Edwards — Edwards experienced an electrical problem on lap 185, forcing him to switch to the backup battery. Edwards also switched off the brake fans to conserve power, and nursed this situation until the end of the race, pulling out an 11th-place finish. He remains fifth in the points, now 285 out of first.

"I guess you've heard about my confrontation with Matt Kenseth after the race," says Edwards. "He's probably the only driver out here I can raise a fist to and not expect to get my tail kicked. It's simple: we just don't get along. I think it all stems from that seminar we attended together at the Sheridan called 'Teamwork: The Rusty Wallace-Ryan Newman Model.'"

7. Denny Hamlin — Hamlin finished sixth in the Subway 500 and moved up one spot to eighth in the points, where he's 374 off of Jeff Gordon's lead.

"The drama is certainly in order for the Jeff Gordon/Jimmie Johnson battle down the stretch," says Hamlin. "It's just too bad they don't hate each others guts, a scenario that would make the final four races much more entertaining. Can you imagine carl Edwards and Matt Kenseth in Gordon and Johnson's places, or Tony Stewart and I? There would definitely be real punches thrown."

8. Kevin Harvick — Harvick battled a tight-handling car all day, but managed to pull out a 10th-place finish in the caution-marred race. He improves one place to seventh in the standings, 369 out of first.

"I know it's possible to doze off watching a race," says Harvick. "But never did I think it was possible while driving in the race. Maybe I was dreaming, but did I see the pace car spin out?"

9. Jeff Burton — Burton overcame a commitment line violation and subsequent penalty to finish 12th in Martinsville. He moved up one spot to ninth in the points, where he is 409 points out of first.

"Commitment line violation?" says Burton. "I thought that was a punishment applicable to anyone making the leap in a union with Pamela Anderson. I think her commitment line lies somewhere below her waist."

10. Kurt Busch — Busch slammed the wall on lap 166, bringing out one of a record 21 cautions in Sunday's Subway 500. He managed to finish 31st, and fell three places in the points to tenth, 420 out of first.

"I'd like to apologize," says Busch. "If I would have known there would be 15 more cautions after mine, I never would have hit the wall. Whomever first said 'throw caution to the wind' had no idea it would apply to a NASCAR race."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:07 AM | Comments (1)

October 24, 2007

NBA '07-'08 Preview: Top 10 Storylines

Every year, there's a new list of headlines that the newspapers and media seem to be obsessed over. This is a short list of what you can expect to read about way too much about in the upcoming NBA season.

1. Boston Celtics: All eyes are on the Celtics this year. It doesn't matter whether they have a great season or a decent playoffs — anything less than a trip to the Finals will be considered a disappointment for this squad. Trading for Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen makes the Celtics, as you've heard a thousand times before, relevant again. Good for them — relevancy doesn't mean a thing — championships do. While it will still be entertaining to watch this team regardless of their success, they've traded away some very talented young players in Al Jefferson, Gerald Green, and Ryan Gomes (sorry, Sebastian Telfair, you've still got to prove yourself before you make the cut). Was it a good trade? Yeah, they needed it. Was it worth it? Only if they make some serious, serious noise.

2. Kobe Bryant: I don't know if he'll stay with L.A. or be traded. Quite frankly, nobody does. Whatever happens, KB24 is going to be a storyline all year long. The storyline may be "Kobe Wants Out," "Kobe Traded," or "Kobe Leads Bulls to Finals". Whatever the headline reads, it's always a big one when it has Bryant's name in it.

3. Kevin Durant: Without Oden, the pressure of success has lifted from Durant's shoulders. He won't have to be compared to his much-hyped counterpart all season long. Nonetheless, big things are expected from this lanky SuperSonic. With Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis out, the Sonics will be relying on Durant as their number one option — something that is bound to grab some attention league-wide, regardless of Durant playing on the West Coast.

4. The Texas Three-Step: The Spurs are aiming for their second-consecutive title, the Mavericks are coming off a 67-win season with the reigning MVP, and the Rockets are going to be playing with a much improved team from the one that was still able to win 52 games last season. All three Texas teams are built for a title run and all three are capable of winning it. It'll be interesting to see how all of the minor storylines unfold with these three teams (Tim Duncan versus refs, Dirk Nowitzki versus "overrated" comments, and the Rockets' chemistry issues). Whatever happens, the Texas Trio should be near the top of power rankings everywhere all season long.

5. Fastbreak Galore: It's the hottest trend in the NBA: fastbreak offense. While it hasn't led to any major success (when considering the playoffs), it has still caught on and caused many teams to try and duplicate the Phoenix Suns' offense. Phoenix alumni Bryan Colangelo and Marc Iavaroni have brought the offense-based system to their respective clubs (Toronto and Memphis) and numerous others are testing it out, as well. If nobody is able to win a championship in the next three years, this system should fold. We've always heard that "defense wins championships," but these teams also realize that "offense sells tickets." If the fastbreak system is able to do both, it'll be here to stay.

6. Microfracture: Never before has a medical term become such a big deal in one particular sport. Sure, many medical terms have seen attention in the past, but microfracture surgery is taking it to a new level. When Greg Oden had surgery on his knee, the whole basketball world stood still — not that's it's a hard thing to do in the summer, but it happened nonetheless. Amare Stoudemire is still struggling with his knees and other players are hitting the headlines any time a knee surgery is considered an option.

7. Referees: Even though the referee gambling scandal has calmed down over the past few months, this will become a headline again any time there is a questionable call made in an important situation. Tim Donaghy may be the scapegoat for the referee scandal (so what if six others were caught for minor infractions), but every referee will feel the heat for their missed (or made) calls all season long.

8. New York, New York: The Knicks are a mess. They can't manage to win on the court or in the courts. It doesn't matter what's going on with this franchise, they simply continue to make horrible moves all over. They have a very talented team, but talent doesn't matter when you manage to bring together some of the worst personalities in all of sports: Stephon Marbury, Zach Randolph, and Isiah Thomas. Oh, and they have a starting center with heart problems, Eddy Curry, who manages less assists, steals, and blocks combined than the turnovers he gives away.

9. Yi Jianlian: I personally could care less, but that doesn't mean it won't be big news. Yi Jianlian be watched all season long thanks to the fact that he comes from a place with a population in the billions. Will he live up to the hype? Probably not. Will he be voted to the All-Star Game? Probably. Nobody knows his age, he sent thousands into uproar by trying to boycott Milwaukee, and he hasn't proven a whole lot in the preseason. Still, Yi is a storyline-maker that we'll have to get used to seeing.

10. Whiners: While "whiners" might be a strong title — it's exactly what they are. By publicly whining for a trade instead of doing so behind closed doors, certain players tend to demand more media attention than they probably deserve. Regardless of whether or not Shawn Marion gets traded, the whining headlines that he makes are quite a shame. The guy is a fantastic player that deserves to be making the papers for his play, not his disgruntled talk. Ditto for Andrei Kirilenko and whoever else whines this year.

Chad Kettner runs HoopsBlogging.com, a basketball site dedicated to hoops analysis and fantasy tips.

Posted by Chad Kettner at 11:37 AM | Comments (9)

What Indians Fans Don't Want to Hear

This used to happen to the Boston Red Sox all the time. Unexpected calamities or mental vapors at the worst possible moments, or close enough to mean a pennant or a World Series blown. There's a body of literature, nearly vaporized by 2004, to back that up, for those to whom 2004 has equaled a pleasant wipeout of the historical memory.

As a matter of fact, this one could have happened only because it looked like it would happen to the Red Sox once again.

Find me any one Fenway Park patron or Red Sox Nation citizen who didn't think it equaled the onset of the next 86 years in the wilderness, when Julio Lugo ambled back for Kenny Lofton's one-out, top of the seventh popup behind the infield, and had the ball glance off his glove before hitting the grass with the sickening thump once known only too well. Find me one such patron or citizen who didn't think it looked like the beginning of new curses when they'd barely become accustomed to the exorcism of the old.

Find me, as a matter of fact, one such patron or citizen who suddenly didn't see Johnny Pesky holding the ball (allegedly), Joe McCarthy starting Denny Galehouse over Mel Parnell, Luis Aparicio falling around third, Darrell Johnson lifting Jim Willoughby for a pinch hitter, Don Zimmer sitting Luis Tiant for Ice Water Sprowl, B.F. Dent, Bill Buckner in horror as the grounder skipped through his by-then-alleged ankles, or Aaron Boone making Tim Wakefield a pennant-losing knuckle sandwich.

Those who happened to have been there when those calamities occurred couldn't and wouldn't have listened if you'd reminded them that not a one of them portended guaranteed disaster when all was said and done.

They couldn't and wouldn't have listened if you'd told them the 1946 Red Sox had a top of the ninth in which to re-tie Game 7, with first and second and nobody out; that the 1948 Sox still had five innings in which to close what began as a 5-1 deficit; that the 1972 Sox still had a Saturday game in which to beat the Detroit Tigers, after Little Looie stumbled, recovered, stumbled again, scampered back to third, but forced Carl Yastrzemski to retreat to second into Aurelio Rodriguez's tag; that the game was only tied when Cecil Cooper fouled out for Jim Willoughby; that, half an inning after B.F. Dent, the Sox had a man on second and one out and a mere two-run deficit even against Goose Gossage; that there was still a seventh game to play and a 3-0 lead after five and a half before Bruce Hurst ran out of gas.

And they'll understand if Cleveland Indians fans don't want to hear that the worst the Tribe came away with after Joel Skinner held Kenny Lofton was a one-run deficit with the team's best postseason reliever waiting to go to work.

They may not want to hear that nobody necessarily promised disaster when Red Sox rookie Jacoby Ellsbury swatted one that glanced off Casey Blake's glove at third and deadened up the line, enabling the swift kid to help himself to second on the house before Lugo, just a half-inning earlier a briefly-lived candidate for infamy, sacrificed him to third.

They may not even want to hear that the Tribe was down a mere three runs with two innings to play, and with the top of the Cleveland lineup due to open the eighth — never mind that Grady Sizemore finished the series hitting .222, or Travis Hafner finished hitting .148, or that the Indians got outscored 30-5 over the final three games after building a three games to none series lead — after Dustin Pedroia took Rafael Betancourt into the Monster seats.

Didn't Sizemore open the eighth beating out a bunt? Didn't Asdrubal Cabrera single up the pipe right afterward to set up first and second and nobody out for Pronk? Oh, yeah, in came Jonathan Papelbon and down went Pronk on a nasty swishout, before Victor Martinez forced Cabrera and Ryan Garko skied one that Ellsbury took on the dead run and backhanded just before the bullpen fence. And down went Betancourt for the meat of the Red Sox eighth, driven out by J.D. Drew's RBI single and Pedroia's three-run double, before Jensen Lewis served the ball Kevin Youkilis was stopped from hitting into the Charles River by the big Coca-Cola bottle atop the back of the Monster seats.

And all you're likely to hear, when they tell the story of how the Indians finished unable to close the deal on a 3-1 League Championship Series deal, is, "Johnny Pesky held the ball. Joel Skinner held the runner!"

All you're likely to hear is that, when Franklin Gutierrez's shooter skipped toward and off the curve of the left field box seat railing and shot back to fair territory, Skinner — who swore he'd seen many such shots shoot right back to the shortstop — should have seen that it was shooting anyplace but, and with Manny Ramirez playing deep enough in left to have nothing better than a possible on-the-run throw in if Lofton finished what he'd looked to have started.

Lofton was almost a third down the line by the time he finished hitting the brakes and risking a bad ankle roll. If you looked hard enough, you might have seen that even the Red Sox couldn't believe what they'd just seen, when seconds earlier they looked to have conceded that the game was likely to be tied.

Maybe the Indians would have flipped the game momentum right back into their grasp. Maybe the Red Sox would have done the same seventh and eighth inning damage, after all. This is, after all, the game above all others under the jurisdiction of two particularly irrefutable laws of return, Yogi Berra's (It ain't over until it's over) and Joaquin Andujar's (In baseball, there's just one word — you never know).

And maybe Lofton would have been out at the plate, anyway, if Skinner had sent him onward, anyway. So some of the afflicted might care to think. But they might have a precedent through which to find comfort.

The Brooklyn Dodgers lost the 1950 pennant to the Philadelphia Whiz Kids on the season's final day when the winning run was thrown out at the plate in the bottom of the ninth. Reserve outfielder Cal Abrams was on second when future Hall of Famer Robin Roberts — blowing a pickoff sign — threw Duke Snider a fastball right down the pipe, which Snider swatted right back up the pipe and into short center field.

Knowing another future Hall of Famer, Phillies center fielder Richie Ashburn, had a modest throwing arm, Dodgers third base coach Milt Stock waved Abrams home. Apparently not realizing Ashburn had moved in shallow anticipating having to back up the pickoff bid, Stock sent Abrams right into the waiting arms of Phillies catcher Stan Lopata with the tag.

Then Dick Sisler in the top of the 10th hit a three-run homer, the Dodgers had no answer in the bottom of the 10th, and the Phillies earned the right to get swept in four by the Yankees in the World Series. The Abrams/Ashburn play cost both Stock and Dodger manager Burt Shotton — who stood by his man and refused to blame Stock — their jobs. Neither man was seen in the Show again. At this writing, neither Joel Skinner nor Eric Wedge is in danger of unemployment, and Skinner is actually being rumored on the Pittsburgh Pirates' managerial radar.

But a third base coach sending the potential pennant-winning run home in the bottom of the ninth usually trumps a third base coach holding the potential tying run at third with two and two thirds left to play, of course. To an Indians fanhood steeped enough in its own long-term sorrows, that's a distinction devoutly to be bypassed until Sunday night's sting is dissipated. Red Sox Nation above many understands only too well.

Posted by Jeff Kallman at 11:31 AM | Comments (0)

Paterno's Run Nearing its End?

College football coaches come and go. Some stay with a program for a certain amount of time to make their mark and then move on to bigger and better things. For some, though, they dedicate their whole career to one program that produces winning results and NFL-caliber players. One can look no further and think of Penn State's Joe Paterno.

For 58 years, Paterno has been part of the Nittany Lions football program, serving 42 as its head coach. At the age of 80, though, it's time for Paterno to think about hanging it up and moving aside for someone younger waiting in the wings to take over a program like Penn State.

Many can't argue against Paterno's record of 369 wins and 123 losses. He guided the Nittany Lions to two national championships in 1982 and 1986 and 22 bowl victories, with 33 appearances in bowl games. And since joining the Big Ten Conference in 1993, Paterno guided Penn State to two Big Ten football championships in 1994 and 2005.

JoePa, as he's known around the sprawling campus of Penn State, attended Brown University where he had the idea of attending law school and not even thinking about football. While at Brown, he played quarterback and cornerback, but his play was not spectacular where he still shares the career record for interceptions with 14. It was at Brown, though, that Paterno was able to develop his skills to become a leader on the gridiron. He joined Hall of Famer Rip Engle's Penn State staff as an assistant coach in 1950 and from there, the opportunities were endless.

"The will to win is important, but the will to prepare is vital," Paterno has been quoted as saying, in his coaching style.

It was from 2001 to 2004 that Penn State struggled on the gridiron. For Paterno, that was a time period that he became the focal point of their failure on the field and the lackluster success of Penn State's football program. Paterno made it known for the 2005 season, "if we don't win some games, I've got to get my rear out of here .... simple as that." But it was in 2005 that Paterno was able to turn the Nittany Lions around, sharing the Big Ten title and gaining a first BCS bowl game bid in the Orange Bowl.

Once his contract expires in 2008, Paterno should leave on a high note. In his 42 years as head coach of Penn State, he has never come under an NCAA probation or serious investigation for wrongdoing. He has enough wins and accolades — from winning the Paul "Bear" Bryant Award in 1978 and 1982 to being named the Coach of the Year several times — to know that he built Penn State into a powerhouse program.

Many of the students that attend Penn State to play football know that they are going into a class organization that asks a lot of their players. Paterno's "Grand Experiment" that he created in 1966 to mold academics and athletics together has been a success. Penn State's players have demonstrated above-average success and their graduation rate exceeded the national average of 64 percent many times.

"Besides pride, loyalty, discipline, heart, and mind, confidence is the key to all locks," Paterno has been quoted as saying. "The name on the front of the jersey is what really matters, not the name on the back."

A name that Paterno has worn for 58 years: the Nittany Lions.

Posted by Joe Boesch at 11:01 AM | Comments (1)

October 23, 2007

In the Box: NFL Week 7

I spent the past two weeks convincing myself the Pats were walking into a trap this past Sunday in Miami. I had all the logical and illogical reasoning (Tom Brady's 2-4 record in Miami, Sports Illustrated cover curse, Bill Simmons writing the "Can they go undefeated?" article on Friday). In "The Year of the Upset," this had all the makings of another bonanza. I was legitimately terrified.

Yeah. Never mind about that.

New England 49, Miami 28: And it was nowhere near that close.

The Pats did anything they wanted on Sunday. That was the most dominant offensive performance I've seen since the San Francisco 49ers embarrassed the San Diego Chargers 49-26 in Super Bowl XXIX. It was ridiculous. And it was easy. Brady's two touchdowns to Randy Moss weren't even great throws. He just chucked them up and there was Moss, straight out of a video game, leaping over everybody like Michael Jordan. ("Hey, look at me, guys! One hand!")

And Donte Stallworth spinning through the secondary. And Wes Welker everywhere at once. And the offensive line a stone wall. And the kick off return. And the strip sack. And the everything else that went perfectly.

The first half was like watching a kid torture a fly, tearing out wing by wing, leg by leg. It was just brutal.

(You have to feel for Jason Taylor and Zach Thomas. It has to be demoralizing to lose like that at home to your main rival. I'm sure this isn't how they saw their careers ending. And now they have to travel all the way to London to face the Giants in Week 8. That's going to be a long flight. And a longer flight back at 0-8.)

(Also, Ronnie Brown is out for the year, so that really sucks for them, too.)

Fantasy Impact: Predicted quote from the Dolphins radio guy during Week 10 at home against the Bills: "John Beck drops back, fakes the hand-off to Jesse Chatman, goes deep for Derek Hagan ... interception!"

Also, if you have Tom Brady (27 TD, 2 INT) and are not in first in your league, you should be deeply ashamed of yourself.

Seattle 33, St. Louis 6: At least Dolphins fans have the Rams as company in the hell of a winless season.

The remaining schedules of each team:

Miami: Giants (in London), Bye, Buffalo, @Philly, @Pittsburgh, Jets, @Buffalo, Baltimore, @New England, Cincinnati.

St. Louis: Cleveland, Bye, @New Orleans, @San Francisco, Seattle, Atlanta, @Cincinnati, Green Bay, Pittsburgh, @Arizona.

Here's betting they both remain winless until Week 13 (Dec. 2), when the Dolphins beat the Jets and the Rams beat the Falcons.

(Hey, at least Tony La Russa is coming back. Only four months until spring training.)

Fantasy Impact: Shaun Alexander is just collecting paychecks until he can retire to TV (19 carries for 47 yards, hasn't scored a TD since Week 2). If you're unfortunate enough to have him on your team, get what you can in a trade and walk away. What a disappointment.

New Orleans 22, Atlanta 16: Quote from last week: "Jerious Norwood should be getting a minimum of 20 touches per game — not counting kick returns."

Number of touches on offense for Norwood in this game: nine.

Another quote from last week: "[Bobby] Petrino is a smart guy. He'll figure it out."

Maybe not.

Fantasy Impact: It's so weird what's happened to this Saints offense. Last year, their WRs totaled 169 receptions for 2,965 yards (17.5 avg) and 21 TD. This year, they're actually on pace for more receptions as a group (183), but for a far lower average (12.8) and way fewer scores (8).

NY Giants 33, San Francisco 15: I haven't done the research to back this up, but I'm going to go ahead and call it an absolute anyway: Any time a team's combined total of sacks and takeaways breaks double digits, that team will win 100 out of 100 times. The Giants forced four turnovers and collected six sacks, masking the fact they really didn't move the ball on offense any better than did the 49ers.

Total yards: Giants 279, 49ers 267 (Giants had 37 more rushing yards, the 49ers 25 more passing yards)

First downs: Giants 21, 49ers 20

Time of possession: Giants 31:18, 49ers 28:42

The NFL is a league of big plays. Make them, you win. Don't, you stink.

Fantasy Impact: It won't get a lot of publicity, but there's an interesting matchup in San Francisco next week between the slagging (sluggish + flagging) Saints passing attack and a 49ers pass defense that has held opposing quarterbacks to a combined 60.6 passer rating. If you have another option to Drew Brees (I sadly don't), I'd recommend going away from him here.

Tennessee 38, Houston 36: Never in a million years should Kerry Collins be able to go into your stadium and come out with a clean shirt, let alone 280 yards passing and no interceptions. The Titans' offensive line is good (only given up 9 sacks all year), but Mario Williams and the boys should be embarrassed they couldn't get to Collins.

Fantasy Impact: The Titans' defense gave up 29 points in the fourth quarter, so you may see them hit the waiver wire. But with home games against Oakland and Carolina up next, they should be worth a fill-in start if you're desperate (Dallas, KC, and Baltimore are off in Week 8, the Giants and Bears in Week 9).

Washington 21, Arizona 19: I mentioned it last week, and it almost came to fruition again: The Redskins are a shaky fourth-quarter team. It cost them the Giants game in Week 3, the Packers game in Week 5, and it almost cost them this one, allowing the Cardinals to come back from 21-6 in the final 15 minutes. Neil Rackers missed the game winner from 55, but 'Skins fans can't possibly feel completely at ease knowing four of their next five are on the road, including New England next week and Dallas in Week 11.

Fantasy Impact: It's so strange seeing Santana Moss with a line of 2 catches for 8 yards, especially at home. On the season, Moss is still at just 14 catches for 207 yards and no TDs. I still think he can put up some numbers along the way, perhaps as soon as Week 9 against the Jets, but it's enough to make you wonder.

Denver 31, Pittsburgh 28: Tough to get a good feel for this game flipping almost play-by-play with the Red Sox-Indians Game 7. (Not only was I wrong about the eventual winner, the one player I've dogged the most over the past five years, J.D. Drew, had the series-defining hit with his granny in the first inning of Game 6. Bloody hell.)

With that said, there were five combined turnovers and six combined sacks. In other words, each team still has work to do to reach the Indy/NE plateau.

Fantasy Impact: In their first game without five-time Pro Bowl Center Tom Nalen, the Broncos run game was subpar (not counting Jay Cutler's 31-yard scramble, 23 rushes for 59 yards, a 2.56 average). They were playing the Steelers defense, which certainly doesn't help, but this team is going to need to be able to run the ball to win the division. And with another stingy run defense on the way in Week 8 (Green Bay), it's not going to get any easier.

Buffalo 19, Baltimore 14: You have to give Dick Jauron credit. His career record is filled with mediocre results (45-62, five of six full seasons sub-.500), but he has this team playing hard and, more importantly, playing smart (only 29 penalties, amazing considering the number of back-ups forced into major playing time). You also have to give credit to the great Marv Levy. His drafts over the past two years have been spectacular.

It's also wirth noting I'm one missed Joe Nedney game winner in San Francisco from being perfect on my game-by-game prediction for the 2007 Ravens. Next up, another loss on Monday (11/5) at Pittsburgh, followed by the first rumblings of Brian Billick being on the hot seat.

Fantasy Impact: Was that Lee Evans with 5 catches for 98 yards, including a 54-yarder? Holy cow. Somebody must have finally introduced him to the new guy.

Detroit 23, Tampa Bay 14: Simply put, there's no way in hell the Lions should have won this game. Look at the stat advantages Tampa put up:

Total yards: Tampa 422, Detroit 278

Third downs: Tampa 8-of-14, Detroit 3-of-8

Time of possession: Tampa 35:50, Detroit 24:10

So how did Tampa blow this? As was the theme this week, big plays. They had a punt blocked in the first quarter that set up Detroit for a FG, a lost fumble that set up Detroit's first TD, a missed 40-yard FG by Matt Bryant that gave Detroit field position to get their own FG in the final seconds of the first half, and, the final killer, a Jeff Garcia fumble on the Detroit one as the Bucs were about to get within one point in the fourth quarter.

You just can't win on the road doing that stuff.

(Odd note: There were only three punts in this game.)

Fantasy Impact: Tampa's defense will force an offense to go away from it's main strengths, which is why I think we saw Kevin Jones with more catches (6) than Roy Williams and Shaun McDonald combined (5). I wouldn't expect that trend to continue.

Also, it looks like Calvin Johnson is ready to start sitting at the big boys table.

Dallas 24, Minnesota 14: Tarvaris Jackson was playing with a broken finger on his throwing hand, but that doesn't get him off the hook for a miserable 6-of-19, 72-yard performance. You may be able to muddle through the NFC for a while like that, but eventually you're going to need a fourth-quarter scoring drive with time running out. And if you don't have a QB capable of making the tough throw under pressure, you're going home early (even if you do have WalterPaytonEricDickersonBarrySandersJimBrown as your running back).

Fantasy Impact: It looks like the Dallas coaching staff is finally capitulating to overwhelming common sense and giving Marion Barber the rock. Against one of the best rush defenses in the league, Barber had 19 carries for 96 yards and a TD, while Jones was where he should be, serving as the change-of-pace guy with 9 carries for 28 yards. You need both to win in the playoffs, but you also need to have a clear-cut workhorse. Barber is that guy.

Indianapolis 29, Jacksonville 7: So on Saturday night my wife and I went over to our friends' house. Me and a few of the guys were watching UFC 77. And it was one of those ground-and-pound fights. And my wife, who hates UFC, starts using words like "homoerotica" and "stupid." And I don't like it because it's annoying. But she won't stop. She just keeps on talking and talking and going on about how dumb it all is. And it drives me nuts.

Why do I bring this up now? Because Tony Kornheiser is my wife.

(For the love of God, SHUT UP!)

Also, I'm betting Dog House All-Star Matt Jones gets busted for pot in the next year. He just has the look about him.

Fantasy Impact: A note of tremendous importance to all Joseph Addai owners: Kenton Keith is now the short-yardage guy. Eleven times the Colts ran a play needing three or fewer yards for a first down. Keith got the ball six times, including a one-yard TD, Addai three times. (There was also an incomplete Peyton Manning pass and a Manning sneak for a TD.)

Kansas City 12, Oakland 10: The Chiefs stop the run better than the Raiders. The Chiefs win. That's pretty much all you need to say about this game.

Actually, one more: Jared Allen is the man (8 sacks in five games, including 2 in this one). We could have a second consecutive Defensive Player of the Year who missed a portion of the season to a disciplinary suspension.

Fantasy Impact: Priest Holmes had five touches, not bad for his first action in two years. But Larry Johnson is still far and away the man in KC. (Could it be that he's actually better since Holmes is now a very real threat?) The only way Holmes becomes a factor is if Johnson goes down long-term.

Cincinnati 38, New York Jets 31: Chad Pennington is one of those guys whose numbers look downright solid (20-of-31, 272 yards, 3 TD, 1 INT), but who constantly makes the killer mistake to kill his team (fourth-quarter fumble to give the Bengals a short field for a TD that pushed their lead from one to eight; late INT returned for the clinching score).

But do you bench the guy with a QB rating of almost 90 for a guy with one career touchdown pass?

Fantasy Impact: The remaining schedule is unkind to R-A-T-S Rats! Rats! Rats!: Buffalo, Washington, Bye, Pittsburgh, @Dallas, @Miami, Cleveland, @New England (the Pats' revenge game from the "unpleasantness"), @Tennessee, Kansas City. The Jets' fantasy stars (Laveranues Coles, Jerricho Cotchery, Thomas Jones) may not get this high again.

Chicago 19, Philadelphia 16: The Philly defense without Brian Dawkins is like the Philly offense without Brian Westbrook. It's just not the same.

Also, somebody take Donovan McNabb's pulse, make sure he's still alive.

Fantasy Impact: Since when does Muhsin Muhammad lead the Bears in receiving (5-for-79 and a TD)? Is it a one-week wonder or is he worth a start against the porous Lions in Week 8? Only if you're desperate.

Seth Doria is a freelance writer based out of St. Louis. For the only daily column that mixes sports, politics, and entertainment news in one, visit The Left Calf.

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 11:38 AM | Comments (0)

October 22, 2007

Who Are These Colorado Rockies?

These aren't your grandfather's Rockies.

Then again, the Colorado franchise didn't even come into existence until 1993, so you're grandfather didn't even have Rockies.

But these aren't your dad's Rockies, either. They're not even your older brother's Rockies!

Heck, these aren't even your Rockies of one month ago!

Who are these guys? It's a simple question, but one that is difficult to answer for the common baseball fan. So, allow to me make it easier for everyone to answer that question by introducing you to one of the greatest Cinderella stories in Major League Baseball history, the 2007 Colorado Rockies.

Starting at the top of the starting lineup:

1. Willy Taveras — Setting the table for the Rockies throughout the second half of the season, Taveras hit .320 and was seventh in the National League with 33 stolen bases despite recording just 372 official at-bats. By Rockies standards, the center fielder is almost a seasoned veteran at 25-years-old. As a rookie in 2005 with the Astros, Taveras led the major leagues in bunt hits, infield hits, and singles. Clearly, he is a terror for opposing defenses and pitchers, not only on the basepaths, but also at the plate. In what looks like an outrageously one-sided deal in Colorado's favor, the Rockies acquired Taveras (and pitcher Taylor Buchholz and Jason Hirsh) prior to this season from Houston in exchange for Jason Jennings and Miguel Asensio. It's paying dividends so far.

2. Kazuo Matsui — It didn't quite work out for Matsui as a New York Met, but it's all changed now that he is a member of the Colorado Rockies. After being traded midway through the 2006 season, Matsui hit .345 the rest of the way and stole eight bases, more than his entire total from 2005. This year, he hit .288 and swiped 32 bases, exceeding his previous season-best by 18 steals despite playing in only 104 games. Matsui has really been on fire this postseason, hitting .418. The second baseman belted a grand slam in Game 2 of the NLDS against Philadelphia and in the same night, he became the second player in baseball history (in addition to Lou Brock) to hit a home run, a triple, and a double in one postseason game.

3. Matt Holliday — He's still not as big of a name as his numbers would suggest, but this is still a guy who every baseball fan should by now. After all, he will probably be named your 2007 National League MVP following the World Series. The left fielder hit .340 this season, slugged .607, blasted 36 home runs, crossed the plate 120 times, drove in 137 runs, and added 11 stolen bases for good measure. He also, of course, scored the controversial winning run in the 13th inning of the one-game playoff against San Diego. Holliday is in his fourth season in the Majors and is without question the franchise player in Colorado. If the Rockies are to cap off this shocking season with an upset in the World Series, Holliday will have to continue his torrid pace at the plate. There's no reason to think he won't.

4. Todd Helton — This is the guy who needs no introduction. Helton has been the face of this franchise since really breaking onto the scene in 1998. The first baseman is a lifetime .332 hitter with 303 career home runs and 1088 RBIs. At long last, he is making his first postseason appearance, and while he hasn't exactly been lighting up the box scores this October, he is still the veteran leader on this team. In case you don't know, Helton had a scholarship to Tennessee to play both baseball and football. He backed up Heath Schuler his first two seasons, took over as starter after Jerry Colquitt got injured the following year, then was replaced by none other than Peyton Manning after he went down with an injury of his own later that season.

5. Garrett Atkins — The third baseman reached the big leagues in 2005 and finished fourth in Rookie of the Year voting. He's really taken off since then, posting big numbers in each of the past two seasons. While his 2007 campaign was not quite as productive as his sophomore season with Colorado, Atkins still hit .301 and drove in 111 runs while belting 25 homers. Atkins chose to play baseball at UCLA rather than sign with the New York Mets, who drafted him out of high school in 1997. At UCLA, Atkins was teammates with Phillies' star 2B Chase Utley — one of the Rockies' first-round sweep victims.

6. Brad Hawpe — Like Atkins, Hawpe started making his presence felt with the Rockies in 2005, five years after being drafted by Colorado in the 11th round. It was not until this year, however, that Atkins' bat really started to produce. The right fielder enjoyed a career year in the regular season, hitting .291 and easily setting career marks in home runs (29), RBIs (116), and runs scored (80). Hawpe won the national championship as an LSU Tiger, so he probably has more late-season baseball experience than any Colorado player had prior to 2007.

7. Troy Tulowitzki — Go ahead and hand this guy the Rookie of the Year award. He's only 23-years-old, but he is already a leader both in the clubhouse and on the field. And on the field the shortstop does it with both his bat and his glove. It's probably hard to believe this, but just look at these fielding numbers: He led all shortstops in fielding percentage (.987), putouts (262), total chances (834), assists (561), and double plays turned (114). At the plate, he hit .291 with 24 home runs, 99 RBIs, and 104 runs scored. He also slugged 33 doubles and legged out five triples. Tulowitzki is the future of the Colorado Rockies, and the future is now.

8. Yorvit Torrealba — Torrealba was traded to the Rockies following the 2005 season after Seattle signed Kenji Johjima to be its starting catcher. Torrealba started this year platooning behind the plate with rookie Chris Iannetta, but Iannetta struggled so Torrealba soon took over full-time. His numbers at the plate aren't anything to write home about, but just like almost all the other Rockies, he is rock solid on defense. Let's also not overlook the fact that Torrealba crushed a three-run homer off Livan Hernandez that provided the winning margin in Colorado's Game 3 win over Arizona in the NLCS. In case you were wondering, his parents gave him the name Yorvit when they could not decide between Yorman and Victor.

Don't be ashamed to admit it if you've only barely ever heard of the pitchers that make up Colorado's postseason starting rotation. In fact, there's a good chance you've probably never heard of two of the four. Jeff Francis and Josh Fogg, at 26-years-old and 30, respectively, are the veteran anchors of the staff. Francis, the ace, went 17-9 in the regular season and you have to think his 4.22 ERA would have been well under 4.00 if he didn't have to pitch half of his games in thin air. He started Game 1 in both postseason series and he is 2-0 with a 2.13 ERA, 12 strikeouts, and three walks. Fogg won 10 games in the regular season and posted a decent (by Colorado standards) 4.94 ERA. In two postseason starts, Fogg is 2-0 with an incredibly impressive 1.13 ERA.

Youngsters — and unknowns — Ubaldo Jimenez and Franklin Morales round out the staff. Jimenez went 4-4 with a 4.28 in 15 starts for the Rockies this season. The right-hander did not win either of his starts against the Phillies and Diamondbacks, but in 11 and 1/3 post-season innings, he has allowed just eight hits and two runs. Morales bounced around between AAA and the big leagues throughout the season. In eight starts with Colorado, he went 3-2 and posted an impressive 3.43 ERA. Morales, a southpaw, is lethal against left-handed hitters. They are hitting just .129 against him while righties are batting .273. Morales' one postseason start came in Game 4 in the NLCS when he held the Diamondbacks to just one run over four innings.

24-year-old Manny Corpas is the team's closer, a role he has filled admirably since taking over for Brian Fuentes following the All-Star Break. Corpas finished the year with a 4-2 record and a phenomenal 2.08 ERA. He converted 19 of his 22 save opportunities and in 78 innings he struck out 58 batters and walked just 20.

What is the sum of these parts? Quite simply a National League pennant and a berth in the 2007 World Series. How the Rockies did it, though, was by no means simple. They were six games behind wild card-leading San Diego on September 1, an afterthought in the playoff race. But that's when Colorado caught fire, as the Rockies went 20-8 in September and won 13 of their last 14 games.

The last time a team went on a streak like the Rockies did to end the regular was back in 1977 when the Kasas City Royals started September 23-1 en route to a 102-win season. Guess who was a rookie on that team? None other than current Rockies' manager Clint Hurdle.

They didn't have the best hitting, they didn't have the best pitching (they never have and never will in Colorado) and their roster certainly doesn't consist of the biggest names. They did it by getting scorching hot at the right time and by playing consistently phenomenal defense throughout the season. In fact, the Rockies set a single-season record for fielding percentage (.98925).

Ladies and gentlemen, these are your 2007 National League champions.

And if the Boston Red Sox aren't careful, these might be your 2007 World Series champions.

Posted by Ricky Dimon at 11:56 AM | Comments (0)

The USTA ... Made in China?

I can't believe what I'm looking at. At first glance, it looks like a rubber vibration dampener with the catchy USTA logo. But look just below the dampener, and the bag reads, "Made in China." So it made me think, "USTA, made in China", is that really far off?

The United States Tennis Association is large, with an amazingly dedicated membership. Anyone who plays tennis on the recreational level knows and follows the sport of tennis, and everyone who plays has a favorite professional player. When I polled USTA members at large who were willing to answer the phone with me on the other end I wasn't shocked by what I heard, but it was interesting. Most of the men polled said their favorite player to watch was Roger Federer, and their second favorite was Rafael Nadal.

That is what I would expect, considering they are number one and two in the world and are arguably the rivalry of the men's professional game. As I dug a little deeper and asked which player they would most like to see win the tournament, with only one exception the name Federer, Nadal, or Novak Djokovic rolled off their tongues. Switzerland, Spain, and Serbia. Not America, not the good, old U.S. of A.

Recreational tennis is spurred by professional tennis. While Americans such as Robby Ginepri, Mardy Fish, John Isner are tour veterans, they aren't the motivational force like Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi were. Andy Roddick has his fans, but his performance on the court hasn't inspired much growth in the desire of people to play tennis. You can go watch young players on court and rarely do they try to emulate any of the top U.S. players, men or women.

I watched two young men in my neighborhood playing and one was Nadal and the other Federer. They called out the ad scores using those names. "Ad Federer," said the one. So it can be said that the U.S. tennis playing public, and new tennis players in particular, are coming to the game and therefore the USTA because of their admiration for players from all over the globe. This is a chilling thought, especially for the future of the professional game in the USA.

Tennis has always been an international professional sport with the caveat that for most of the 20th and 21st century the U.S. has dominated or always had dominant players. Only Australia can claim a legacy in tennis nearly as long, and sometimes you want to think of them as American, as a majority of the great Aussies have lived in the USA more then their home country now.

During the 1970s, Bjorn Borg spurred a following in tennis, but that was driven by the great rivalries with John McEnroe and Jimmy Connors. Americans were part of the top of the game, and while I and a few others preferred to emulate Borg, there were as many or more who admired and emulated Connors, McEnroe, and Arthur Ashe. Even the next tier Americans had a very strong following, with Jimmy Arias and Aaron Krickstein getting quite a share of attention. New players came in droves to the game spurred by the great U.S. players. And the USTA grew. And the U.S. Open grew.

The women's side has seen a similar shift, with the notable exception of the Williams sisters. Serena and Venus remain in the top of the women's game, and still play at a high level, but if you go to most courts and ask young girls who they admire, it's usually Justine Henin or Maria Sharapova. Understandable, as they are more visible on the tour and tend to be in the semis and finals of all the big tournaments. How many of you out there have ever heard of Vania King? Thought so.

As I watch the USTA membership grow, and as I watch the U.S. Open attendance set records year after year, clearly it's due to the popularity of the foreign players and the great games they currently have. So when I look at the vibration dampener I have, it's not a far stretch when I look at it on a whole. "USTA, made in China." Well, if not China, then at least made somewhere else.

Posted by Tom Kosinski at 11:39 AM | Comments (1)

October 20, 2007

The End of the Torre Dynasty

Even an occasional reader of this space knows that I am a second-generation, bleeding-orange-and-blue, once-dressed-up-like-Lenny-Dykstra-for-Halloween New York Mets fan. And for any Mets fan, or Yankee-basher, the events that transpired in Tampa, FL on Thursday felt like Christmas morning, Thanksgiving dinner, and the release of the iPhone all rolled into one fateful and glorious moment.

Joe Torre's decision to break free of his ever-tarnishing cage in the Bronx Zoo officially signals the end of an era for this franchise. That's the biggest headline, the most obvious conclusion. It's symbolic of a larger issue, which is that the New York Yankees haven't felt like winners since Aaron Boone went yard in the bottom of the 11th to end the 2003 ALCS. During the glut of Torre's run, the Yankees were the team to beat; for the last several years, they were the team to be beaten: by the Red Sox, the Marlins, the Diamondbacks, the Angels, and now by the Indians and their supernatural insect army.

The team and its fans no longer spend their time counting diamonds on championship rings. The New Math in the Bronx is tabulating Alex Rodriguez's postseason batting average, the amount of money Roger Clemens is earning by the pitch, and how many arms the Yankees needed to have on the roster just to make the postseason. (1999 starting rotation: Orlando Hernandez, David Cone, Andy Pettitte, Roger Clemens and Hideki Irabu; the 2007 Yankees had 14 different pitchers start a game, with Pettitte and Clemens still around eight years later.)

How ironic that all the talk in the last 24 hours has been about money the Yankees didn't spend, in this case to keep Torre from leaving. But I don't believe the money or the years were the determining factor.

I'm not going to pretend that I know Torre or have talked to Torre or have some psychological insight into his thought process, but I do know he has two functioning optic nerves and therefore can read the writing on the wall. This group is in decline as a championship team, and Torre knows it. Mariano Rivera is human, A-Rod (should he return) is a regular season beast and a postseason nothing, and the unbelievable quality depth that the Yankees used as a trademark during their dynasty has been diluted to the point where a guy named Wilson Betemit played in over 35 games. Track this Yankees team at first base from Tino Martinez to Jason Giambi to Doug Mientkiewicz; detect a trend there?

Torre is moving on at the right time, because nothing he does on the bench is going to reverse that trend. If he didn't leave now, he was going to be fired. And that's an indignity neither the Yankees nor their manager needed to suffer through, so this is a way to make Steinbrenner continue to look like a jerk, Torre to look like a victim, and the whole situation to move forward into an unpredictable next phase.

Okay, allow me to attempt to predict it: the Yankees will name either Don Mattingly or Joe Girardi as the new manager. Rivera will be back; Jorge Posada won't. The Yankees will win well over 90 games and make the postseason, and then do nothing. This might happen a few times over the next few seasons, if Brian Cashman opens the team's vault for a few small market superstars and if the pitching staff doesn't have the consistency of apple sauce.

But then the bottom will fall out, Jeter will become Mattingly circa 1987 (a Yankees legend on a playoff also-ran) and the Yankees will finally enter into the kind of karmic down-swing Red Sox fans have been praying for every Sunday since ... oh, let's say 1949.

Torre? Maybe he goes to the Los Angeles Dodgers, as the New York Post speculated today. As a Mets fan, I'd gladly rename my new stadium Joe Torre Park at Joe Torre Yards if he could whip my guys into shape for at least one World Series trophy. But that's probably a pipe dream.

But if this is it for Torre, let's call him what he is: an icon. An absolute baseball legend in New York, as much a face on the Mount Rushmore of Big Apple sports as Babe Ruth or Micky Mantle or Joe Namath or Isiah Thomas. (Okay, scratch that last one.)

What I'll remember most ... long before Bill Belichick perfected the look, Torre had the wonderful, confident scowl that acted almost like a poker face; something that said, "You might think you're in this game with my boys now, but you have no idea what kind of shock and awe is going to land on your lap in an inning or two." It was a classic baseball look, and one that will be missed in the Yankees dugout.

Four World Series titles, 1,173 victories and 12-for-12 in playoff appearances — there's no questioning that, under Torre's leadership, this was a dynasty.

Yet from Ming to Joan Collins, if there's one thing we've learned about dynasties, it's that they eventually fall.

Greg Wyshynski is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 9:17 AM | Comments (0)

October 19, 2007

A True Champion, Finally

Now that the dust has settled, and now that we are separated from what was a shocking day at the 2007 U.S. Open, it's time to take a look at what Maria Sharapova's loss really demonstrated. There is a famous quote that says that circumstance does not make the man, but rather reveals a man's character. Nothing could be more true here.

Sharapova was supposed to breeze through her half of the draw, and was certain to not be challenged until the final. Every sports writer and tennis fan looked at the 2007 U.S. Open Women's singles draw and could not believe how skewed the top half and bottom half were. The top half turned out to be loaded with current and former major tournament winners, including Justine Henin, Serena and Venus Williams, as well as with current top players Jelena Jankovic, Ana Ivanovic, and Marion Bartoli. The bottom half had Maria Sharapova, then the next best was Nadia Petrova and Svetlana Kuznetsova. The lower half contained a slew of new and younger players, many of them who have never made it past the first round of any major. Things change quickly.

By the end of Saturday's play, the lower half was wide open. Sharapova had lost a tough three-set match to Agnieza Radwanska of Poland, Nadia Petrova had lost to Agnes Savay of France, and Martina Hingis had fallen to Victoria Azarenka. As Maria walked into the press conference, it was clear she was not having her best day, and was aware of the opportunity that she had just missed. I have never been a huge Sharapova fan, but after this press conference, I became a great fan.

As Sharapova sat in her chair, she did not try to hide her disappointment. She knew the questions that were about to come would not be easy to answer, and that most of them would be looking for reasons and excuses to find why this champion had fallen to such a lower-ranked opponent. I have sat through what seems like thousands of these press conferences and have heard just about every answer there is. Usually, none of them are good, and most are aimed at finding some excuse that absolves the player of the loss. What I heard blew me away.

"She played well, and I lost. No injuries or excuses," said Sharapova.

Wow. No excuses. Said pointedly and graciously. Sharapova gave credit to Radwanska, and then laid the blame solely on herself. She was asked if her previous injuries might have been a factor. Again, she said no.

"Sometimes, you work really hard for something and you get it. Sometimes you don't," said Sharapova.

Wow, again, no excuses. From a player often considered a prima-donna, this was something of a shock. It has become rule rather than the exception on the women's tour to lay blame on some condition or reason other than your own poor play, and to never give credit to the victor. Maria blamed only herself and gave complete credit to Radwanska.

Now it may not seem like much, but since the U.S. Open, you haven't heard anything else from the Sharapova camp, and she seems to have moved on just as she indicated in her post-match press conference. While she lost earlier this month to Victoria Azarenka, and has pulled out of the Zurich and Linz tournaments, she continues to look for a spot in the WTA Tour season-ending championships next month. With the withdrawals, it looks like she may not win a spot, but she will not make excuses. Finally, a champion to look up to.

Athletes today seem to believe that they are more valuable than the sports they play, and that their God-given abilities alone give them the right to be adored and paid highly. Attitude is everywhere, and blame and excuses are found right along with it. Michael Vick "felt bad that he killed those dogs. He is human you know," a direct quote from his lawyer said. Floyd Landis used performance-enhancing drugs. Marion Jones is "sorry for the hurt she has caused." Give me a break. You all lied and made excuses for years.

I'll give Maria my support. She has proven to me, on the world's biggest stage, that she has the qualities of a true transcendent champion. There is still hope...

Posted by Tom Kosinski at 11:20 AM | Comments (5)

October 18, 2007

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 7

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Arizona @ Washington (-7)

Arizona quarterbacks Matt Leinart and Kurt Warner have gone down to injury in consecutive weeks. Two weeks ago, Leinart broke his collarbone on a sack; last week, Warner went down with an elbow injury when he was sacked by Julius Peppers.

"Matt's no stranger to crippling blows," says Ken Whisenhunt. "Sadly, there isn't a condom made that can protect you from a broken collarbone. Which is surprising, because they do make condoms that protect you from Paris Hilton. Kurt is devastated by his injury. It's on his right arm, which is not only his throwing arm, but also his bible-thumping arm. There was a bumper sticker on Kurt's car that turned out to be quite prescient. It said 'Jesus is coming ... on a safety blitz.' So, as you can see, our Cards are on the table, the examination table, and with Tim Rattay as our new starter, we'll read 'em and weep."

The Redskins lost 17-14 in Green Bay, a game in which Washington led 14-7 at the half. Santana Moss fumbled on a reverse, which the Packers returned for a touchdown, and Moss then benched himself.

"I knew my new 'free substitution' policy would be a hit with our players," says Joe Gibbs. "It's a good thing I didn't employ that when John Riggins was around. Otherwise, he would have stayed drunk all the time. Anyway, I don't consider Santana a quitter. I consider him a pioneer. If all players would take themselves out when sucking, half the NFC wouldn't have enough players to field a team."

Sunday's loss in Green Bay was crucial for the Redskins. Not only did they lose a game they should have won, they also lost a conference game. In the NFC, where every playoff spot could be decided by some sort of tiebreaker, that loss could come back to bite them in their tailfeathers. The 'Skins will be fired up, and can you really see Tim Rattay winning in Washington? Just in case, the Cards went out and signed Tim Hasselbeck. He ain't heavy, he's Matt's brother. Moss announces his retirement at half-time, but unretires in the fourth quarter, then scores on a trick play designed specifically for him called the "Skin Flicker." Gibbs then tells Moss to "make like a lumberjack on a flume and ride the pine." Washington wins, 27-13.

Atlanta @ New Orleans (-9)

The Saints found the win column, whipping the Seahawks and finally playing like the team that made it to the NFC championship last year. Drew Brees found his stroke, with two touchdown passes, and Reggie Bush proved he can carry the load, not only for his sponging relatives, but also for the Saints. Now the Saints host the Falcons, a battle of one-win teams at the bottom of the NFC's pecking order.

"That's the beauty of the NFL," says Bobby Petrino, looking at a quarterback depth chart that starts at No. 4. "The pecking order is reversed come draft time. We'll battle our way to the first pick in next year's draft, where we'll snatch my Louisville protege Brian Brohm. Then we'll do something unprecedented in Falcons' history: we'll give Brohm a thorough background search and polygraph test before we offer him a 'Blank' check, also known as a huge contract you'd only like to give to a quarterback you expect to stay clean and out of trouble for seven to eight years. If we dig up any dirt on Brohm and find any dog carcasses in that dirt, then the deal is off. But he's such a talented quarterback, we might have to call in Winston Wolf to clean up the mess. He solves problems."

Even at 1-4, the Saints aren't out of the NFC South hunt just yet. Let's just say they have two, three at the most, losses to spare the rest of the way. If one of those comes to the Falcons, then that would give them an 0-3 division record, and no chance at the playoffs. So, you can see the sense of urgency for the Saints. Here's a thought, Sean Payton. Since it's obvious you need to ride the talents of Bush to wherever it may take you, why not send the speedster on some deep routes? Sure, I know Reggie can make defenders miss on a screen pass, but he has to make five or six guys miss in order to score. Send him deep, and he only has to beat one or two guys, and it's easier to beat a defender when you don't have the ball, right?

New Orleans wins, 30-13.

Baltimore @ Buffalo (+3)

The Bills spent their bye week reviewing the tape of the Dallas game, which they all rated with a "thumbs down" and felt the ending kind of sucked, although the plot was great.

"Plus, there was no nudity," says Marshawn Lynch. "And where was the narration by Morgan Freeman? Is there a movie made about the Bills that has a happy ending?"

Yeah. Remember The Naked Gun, when O.J. Simpson was shot 40 times? Hey, nice beaver.

"Thanks, I just had it stuffed," says Lynch, retrieving a taxidermied rodent from the top shelf, a gift from Oregon State alum and teammate, linebacker Keith Ellison. "But how is that a happy ending? O.J. survived."

The Ravens slaughtered the Rams 22-3 to move to 4-2, second in the division, but still without a division win. Matt Stover kicked five field goals and Kyle Boller threw for a pedestrian 184 yards.

"Five field goals? Sweet!" says Brian Billick. "That's what I call kicking our offense into high gear. Look, the division wins will come. We still play the Bengals once more. And right now, Stover is our MVP and highest-scoring player. Yeah, I know the kickers of the real AFC powers kick extra points as often as we kick field goals, but heck, field goals are worth three points. Extra points? A measly one point. I know our offense suffers from 'V.D.' 'Vertical Dysfunction.' But there's loads of drugs on the market for that, plus a bunch of scams advertised on Spike TV that supposedly cure it. Anyway, we keep a fluffer on call 24 hours a day who is still trying to convince me that pass routes can be run for more than 15 yards. Right now, our offense is geared towards one goal: centering the ball between the hash marks."

Billick opens up the offense, which simply means Stover will be kicking shorter field goals. Former disgruntled Bill Willis McGahee is given a hero's welcome in his return to Buffalo, as the city offers him its key, to the man-eating tiger cage at the Buffalo Zoo. McGahee scores on a short run set up by a turnover, and Stover kicks four chip shots. Baltimore wins, 23-12.

Minnesota @ Dallas (-9 1/2)

To find an explanation for Dallas' 48-27 drubbing at the hands of New England, look no further than the album titles of Texas heavy metal pioneers Pantera. Like the punishing throb of the Pantera rhythm section, the Patriots pounded Dallas with a "vulgar display of power," and, Dallas, outgained by 165 yards and hampered by 12 penalties, played like "cowboys from hell." Even former Cowboy "Dimebag" Daryl Johnston was critical of Dallas' play.

"They're broken," says Johnson, who fronts his own cover-glam-hair-thrash-speed metal outfit called 'Man of Troy.' "But they can recover from this. Nothing cures a blowout loss to an AFC powerhouse like a home game against a run-of-the-mill NFC semi-cupcake. But they can't take the Vikings lightly. Stopping rookie sensation Adrian Peterson will be a test for the Cowboys. I didn't think anything could pump up the Vikes more than a sex cruise, but apparently, a locker room fist fight is just what they needed."

Exactly. Chester Taylor and Erasmus James slugged it out after practice, and former Minnesota coach Mike Tice manned the ticket window. The Vikes are no longer motivated by 'nautical naughtiness.' Now, the word 'naval' simply means 'where your eyes should be during a lap dance.' They know they have a top-notch running game as well as the NFL's second-best rushing defense. Both facets will have to be clicking for the Vikes to beat Dallas. The Vikes rush defense is so good that it works against them. It forces teams to pass, and Minnesota doesn't defend that very well. Unfortunately, Dallas passes very well. Tony Romo throws for three scores, and the Cowboys rebound with a 30-21 win.

New England @ Miami (+16 1/2)

The Patriots are 6-0, the Dolphins are 0-6, and the members of the 1972 Miami team are sweating in their polyester slacks and corduroy blazers with leather elbow patches, and their yearly ritual of blatantly pulling against a team equaling their accomplishment has begun. But the odds of these Dolphins pulling a monumental upset and shocking the Patriots are slim, but what the heck, it's a good reason for Larry Csonka, Garo Yepremian, Nick Buoniconti, and their fellow old timers to chill some champagne which they won't be drinking on Sunday.

"Hey, we don't take anyone lightly," says Tom Brady, who doesn't wax poetic, but does wax Brazilian. "It's fitting that we go through the Dolphins to remain undefeated, but ironically, the fact that Miami, like the rest of the AFC East, flat out sucks, will be the reason we'll start resting our starters in, oh say, Week 12. We'll lose a meaningless game somewhere along the way, but we'll win a fourth Super Bowl. And honestly, I'd rather have four Super Bowl victories than one undefeated season that I fret over every year. I'm going to do something those 1972 Dolphins should do: not worry about anyone else."

Miami's defense, which has given up 182 points in six games, second-worst in the league, won't be able to stop the Patriots assault. And, offensively, Cleo Lemon won't pass and run for four touchdowns, which he did against Cleveland, who has the only scoring defense worse than the Dolphins.

"If life, or a Trent Green concussion, gives you lemons," says Cam Cameron, "then make lemonade. And did you know you can get methane gas out of a huge pile of cow manure? We realize the Patriots present us with a tough task, so we have to look for any positives we can find. And the only one I can think of right now is a Ricky William's drug test."

The Dolphins have always given the Pats trouble, including a 21-0 win last year under Nick Saban. But Cameron can't equal Saban's motivational skills, so the best he can offer his team before hitting the field is a weak "win one for the Flipper." Brady comes out throwing against the Dolphins, showing little respect for their sixth-ranked pass defense. As was the case against Dallas, Brady sees less coverage in the secondary than Giselle Bunchen displays on a romp in a sheer teddy down the catwalk. New England wins, 31-14.

San Francisco @ NY Giants (-9 1/2)

After winning their first two, the 49ers have lost three straight, which has brought an abrupt end to the 'Frisco craze of the early 2007 season, which was marked by bell bottoms, disco balls, and two lucky wins to start the season. San Fran was the only NFC West team that didn't lose in Week 6, mainly because they didn't play, which made their bye week all the more relaxing.

"And fruitful," says Mike Nolan, enjoying a Cosmopolitan poolside at the 49ers' practice facility. "We just picked up a ½-game on everyone by not playing. Life is good. But it could be better. We'd gladly sit for two more weeks and take the division lead. But, in all seriousness, we need to get our running game going. Frank Gore is only averaging 17 carries per game. That's not nearly enough. Frankly, I've seen more 'gore' at the running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain. And, if you think I look good in a suit, you should see me in all white with a red neckerchief, running for my life, which is the kind of urgency I want to see from Frank."

After dropping their first two games of the year, the Giants have won four straight to move to within a game of the division-leading Cowboys. The Eli Manning to Plaxico Burress connection has accounted for eight touchdowns this year, equal to the Tom Brady/Randy Moss output.

"We can't quite consider ourselves their equal yet," says Burress. "I'd say I can hold my own with Moss, but until Eli raises his completion percentage by 20 points or lands a supermodel, he's not on par with Brady. Eli's making progress, though. He's displayed his leadership, and he even had his first date not too long ago. So, watch out, Brady, and watch out supermodel dating pool. Eli's coming for you."

The G-Men seemed to have benefitted from a kinder, gentler Tom Coughlin, who's changed his wicked ways as a hardcore disciplinarian. The man has taken up scrapbooking, and even accents team meeting with kittens at each table. The results are obvious. Player don't hate him; they just have a strong distaste for him.

New York wins, 26-20.

Tampa Bay @ Detroit (-2)

It will be a clash of styles when the defense-oriented Bucs face the Lions and their flashy offense. Tampa is winning with its traditional defensive philosophy, which is to stifle the opposition long enough until Jeff Garcia can hit Joey Galloway with a bomb. Once they take the lead, the Bucs drop anchor and unleash their running game, whose output they don't measure in yards, but in clock time consumed.

"You got a problem with that?" says the "Visor Kaiser" John Gruden, who likes to stand at the bow of the pirate ship in Buccaneer Cove, naked, at midnight, and shout, 'I'm the king of the world.' "The fact that we don't have a running game and are still 4-2 is a testament to our defense and the greatness of Jeff Garcia. Garcia is a coach's dream. He's smart, tough, a good decision-maker, and fairly good-looking. Shoot! I'm not afraid to say it, but I'd marry the guy. Then ask for an immediate annulment and hope that I kept my vow of celibacy intact. Jeff's our MVP right now, and help is on the way for our running game in the form of Michael Bennett, who'll look great against the Lions, and everyone will say what a great deal we made. Then reality will sink back in."

The Lions are a team still in search of an identity. Are they good? Are they bad? Is their offense that good? Is their defense that bad? Is Matt Millen an incompetent fool? To that, we know the answer. Detroit is the only team in the league with a winning record that has scored fewer points than they have surrendered.

"That's a meaningless statistic," says Millen, perched high above Ford Field in his skybox, where he has apparently disabled the "eject" buttoned installed by Lions' brass upon hiring Millen. "That just means we're winning big and losing bigger. We're giving the fans what they want. Of course, that doesn't explain why I'm still here. But I defend my track record until the end. Go ahead, take a look at what I've done for this team. Historically, I've put us in position each and every year for one of the draft's highest picks."

Since the Lions have no reliable ground attack either, Jon Kitna will have to carry the Lions through the air against that irritable codger Monte Kiffin's "cover 2" defense. I don't think Kitna can handle the "cover 2," and I don't think the Lions can cover the two by which they are favored. Tampa wins, 24-21.

Tennessee @ Houston (+1 1/2)

You could hear an audible gasp from Titans faithful when Vince Young pulled up lame after scrambling out of bounds last week in Tampa. And, you could hear an even louder gasp and cry of despair when Kerry Collins rose from his bar stool to fill in for his injured teammate. Young suffered a strained quadriceps and had an MRI on Monday. He is listed as day-to-day.

"Incidentally, identifying 'M, 'R,' and 'I' as letters of the alphabet scores you points on the Wonderlic test," says Young. "Cha-ching! I'll do everything in my power to play on Sunday. Coach Fisher has said that he'll go with the quarterback that gives us the best chance of winning. I assume that means he'll go with the quarterback that gives us a chance of winning. In both cases, I'll be the starter. Even in a wheelchair, that still would apply."

"Strained quad? Isn't that what you get on the University of Texas campus when alcohol sales are cut off after a big win by the Longhorns?" says Matt Schaub, whose Texans host the Titans. "UT may be famous for football, but the University of Virginia is known as the school of higher learning founded by the 'O.P.,' the 'original playboy,' Thomas Jefferson, who got busier than Humpty Hump in a Burger King bathroom. Pardon my cavalier attitude about this game, but I just don't see the danger of Vince Young at half-speed or Kerry Collins half-cocked."

It's a slap in the face to the Texans to be a home underdog. Of course, they've been slapped around in the AFC South for years now. But it's desperation time. A loss, and the Texans are 2-4 with three division losses. You can't recover from that, I don't care how much HGH you consume. Kris Brown kicks the game-winner, and the Texans win, 19-16.

Kansas City @ Oakland (-3)

You've heard of teams going from first to worst in the span of a season, but who knew it was possible in the span of about six hours? Last Sunday, the Raiders began the day leading the AFC West, and after losing in San Diego 28-14, fell to the bottom of the division.

"In the AFC West," says Raiders owner Al Davis, surveying his empire from the observation tower of his headquarters, Castle Grayskull. "it's a short fall. I've never fallen from first to worst in the span of a day, but I have gone from alive to dead, and back, in a matter of minutes."

The Chiefs and Larry Johnson hope to run on an Oakland defense that gave up 198 yards and four touchdowns to LaDainian Tomlinson. And Priest Holmes may play for the first time since 2005.

"Only if Shawne Merriman's not around," says Holmes.

Well Priest, Merriman's not a Raider. If he was, he would have been traded long ago to the Patriots for a fourth-round pick. Oakland: it's where bargain-hunters shop. Anyway, it's good to have you back, Priest. Maybe this injury will turn out to be a good thing for you. It sure did for the Chiefs. If you hadn't been injured, then Larry Johnson might have never had the chance to strut his stuff.

Johnson rushes for 123 yards and a score, and the Chiefs win a tight battle, 20-17.

NY Jets @ Cincinnati (-6)

After another display of offensive ineptitude, the Jets are 1-4 and fans are calling with a profane vigor for Kellen Clemens to take over at quarterback for the beleaguered Chad Pennington. For whatever reason, be it loyalty to Pennington, stubborness, or sheer stupidity, Eric Mangini refuses to budge. With the Jets in dire need of a win, is change in the air?

"You darn right change is in the air," says Mangini. "It's tossed at me on a weekly basis. Pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, all neatly rolled, sometomes afire. I was even hit by a "Hundred-dollar Bill," who's not a form of currency but a man who frequents area stip clubs and happens to be one of many psychotic Jets supporters. Anyway, from where I come from, having money thrown at you is a sign of support. So, against the better judgment of every other person in the world except me, I'll keep Pennington as the starter, despite a recurring dream in which I'm running on the Jersey shore hand in hand with Kellen Clemens and we deliver a double-clothesline to Pennington, all while dodging the pollution and body parts littering the coast."

Like the Jets, the Bengals are desperate for a win, having lost four straight after opening the season with a win over Baltimore. The defense has been terrible and the offense has sputtered, but the problems may run deeper than Marvin Lewis ever imagined.

"It's all a matter of accountability," says Lewis. "It's easy to say, 'It's his fault.' It's much harder to say, 'It's my fault.' Just like it's easier to plead 'guilty' than 'not guilty.' Therein lies our problem. When we had players running afoul of the law every nine days or so, we were a much better team. This team thrives on conflict, so we're going to need somebody to step up and take one for the team. A simple shoplifting charge will do, preferably by a first-time offender so as not to face a suspension. That narrows it down to two players: Carson Palmer and Shayne Graham."

It's sink or swim, do or die, fight or fly for both teams. And the coaches need to do their part, too. One would think the mind that created the Ravens' dominant defense could at least come up with some kind of wacky scheme to slow down the Bengals' opponents. And they call Eric Mangini the "Man-genius," right? Does it even take a genius to prepare a game plan to defeat Cincinnati? Does it even take a game plan to beat them? Come on, Mangini. Are you a genius, or just a flash in the 'Mangini?' The Bengals jump out to a quick 10-0 lead, and New Jersey State Athletic commissioner Larry Hazzard nearly stops the game on a technical knockout, but he then realizes he's in Ohio, out of his jurisdiction. The Jets storm back behind the running of Thomas Jones and the Nerf-like passes of Pennington. New York wins, 26-24.

Chicago @ Philadelphia (-4)

Last year, when the Bears scored 31 points, you could count on a 31-9 victory, or something similar. This year, the Bears score 31 and lose 34-31. That's what happened last week when the Bears fell to the Vikings in a shootout which featured eight touchdowns of 33 yards or more. Two of those were by Devin Hester, who scored on an 89-yard punt return and an 81-yard pass from Brian Griese.

"Obviously, we've got to get Devin more touches," says Lovie Smith. "I'll be darned if I'm making another change at quarterback, so we're going to give Devin the start at center this Sunday."

Donovan McNabb will be doubly motivated to perform well for the Eagles. Of course he wants the last-place Eagles to bounce back into the thick of the NFC East race, but he may also be auditioning for a future job in Chicago.

"You're darn tootin','" says McNabb. "I'm busting at the seams to get out of here, or maybe that's just the sports hernia talking. Honestly though, why would I want to go to Chicago? Do the fans in the Windy City treat their quarterbacks any better than fans in the City of Brotherly Love? Heck, I'd probably be stuck behind Rex Grossman on the depth chart. I think there's other destinations in more need of quarterbacks, like Baltimore, Miami, Atlanta, Minnesota, and South Bend, Indiana."

This is the Bears' latest chance to make a statement. It's basically up to the defense whether to make that statement on a Fathead or a Post-it note. I say the Bears defense finally steps up, or that "step up" could mean they just bit on some play-action. Hester scores on a reverse, and his returns set up the Bears offense in good field position. The Eagles get "Devin-ity Schooled." Chicago wins, 23-20.

St. Louis @ Seattle (-8 1/2)

The Rams remain one of two winless teams in the NFL, while the Seahawks lost last week to the previously winless Saints, in Seattle no less. In the Rams' 22-3 loss in Baltimore, Gus Frerotte threw five interceptions, lost a fumble, and was sacked four times. Marc Bulger, who's missed the last two game with broken ribs, has stated publicly that "he's starting," although this was news to coach Scott Linehan.

"What's the deal here?" says Linehan. "I make the decisions around here, especially the wrong ones. Why on earth would I start Bulger instead of a guy who turned the ball over six times last week, Gus Frerotte? I'll tell you why. Because I'm trying to make history here. I want to become the first coach to get fired after not winning a single game. That's probably the only way people will remember the name ... uh ... what's my ... oh, Scott Linehan."

The Seahawks are reeling, as well, having lost two in a row. They can't run the ball, fall behind early, and are forced to play catch-up. At least that's the analysis given by Sean Salisbury, and that's the kind of number-crunching, in-depth breakdown football lovers expect from a former third-rate NFL quarterback.

"Hey, have you noticed how Salisbury seems to get progressively more perturbed the further he gets into analyzing a team?" says Matt Hasselbeck. "He makes good points, but it's like he's a second away from snapping and ripping Trey Wingo's head off. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing."

Seahawks win, 27-23.

Pittsburgh @ Denver (+ 3 1/2)

What's one word to describe it? How about "tough?" No, I'm not talking about the Broncos' prospects of crossing the goal line. I'm referring to the style of play personified by the Steelers and the Broncos, who will meet in a rematch of the 2005 AFC Championship Game. Both teams live and die with defense and a physical running game, and the chess match between Mike Tomlin and Mike Shanahan will be interesting.

"I'm black," says Tomlin.

"I'm white," says Shanahan, who, technically, is not white, and more accurately classified as an unnatural shade of salmon. "We owe the Steelers. We would have taken them back in '06, but Jake Plummer had other ideas. Now, we'll try it with Jay Cutler, who's yet to be mistaken for John Elway. But don't fret, Jay. Halloween is just around the corner. We'll attack with a steady diet of defense, a hit or two of Travis Henry, the leg of Jason Elam, and a strategically called time out, assuming the game is close."

"Sounds like the ingredients to a 16-7 butt-whipping," says Tomlin. "Are we, the Pittsburgh Steelers, supposed to be afraid of the Broncos? Mile High Stadium lost its mystique when they let some investment company take the name. Does an investment firm strike fear into an opponent like, say, ketchup? I don't think so."

Pittsburgh wins, 23-17.

Indianapolis @ Jacksonville (+3)

The Colts no doubt remember their 44-17 drubbing at the hands of Jack Del Rio and the Jaguars last year in Week 14. In that game, the Jags rushed for an amazing 375 yards and embarrassed the Colts defense.

"Yeah, I remember that game," says Peyton Manning. "But I remember winning the Super Bowl a lot more. In Indianapolis, we don't put regular season wins in our trophy case. We aim high with our goals. At the top of our list of goals is 'Win the Super Bowl.' Now, I know that's probably at the top of the Jacksonville list of goals for the 2007 season, right above 'Beat Indy in Jacksonville,' and 'Beat Indy in Indy.' The point is, the Colts have only one goal listed. The Jaguars have several."

Del Rio and his wrecking crew look to shine on the Monday night stage. A win and the Jags take over first in the AFC South.

"I told our guys that this is their moment to shine," says Del Rio. "So, shine on you crazy diamonds. I kind of lost them after that. Anyway, I'm not going to be one of those arrogant coaches and tell you that we won't change our game plan for anyone. That's just stupid. Sure, we like to ground and pound, but I doubt 16 points will win this game. We know the Colts can score, so we'll have to open up our offense a little. Who we'll throw it to downfield is anybody's guess."

Can the Jags slow down the Colts? To do so, they'll have to put pressure on Manning, and since the power in the Jacksonville defensive line lies with their tackles, John Henderson and Marcus Stroud, they'll have to do it from the inside out. Manning throws best when he can step up and into his passes. If they can get Manning backing up and moving, an interception is more likely, and the Jags will need turnovers. If Jacksonville can't get Manning on his back, then he'll have them on their heels. I give the edge to the Colts, if for no other reason that the desire to see the Patriots/Colts Week 9 battle of undefeateds remain intact. Indianapolis survives a fast start by the Jaguars and wins, 23-19.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:50 AM | Comments (1)

Down 3-1, Sox Look to Their Ace

Facing elimination, the Boston Red Sox will turn to Josh Beckett on Thursday to strafe off elimination from the baseball postseason. Beckett has been the team's most reliable pitcher all season, and now, with the Sox on the ropes, Boston will put its collective faith on the 27-year-old to get the series back to Boston, and keep the Sox playing in October.

The Red Sox entered the season as one of the favorites to win the World Series, but after an abysmal showing in their last two games at Jacobs Field, they find themselves in the precarious situation of win, or go home. This is not the first, and will likely not be the last time, that this franchise will be in this situation, and they have actually some recent success in these spots.

Down 0-2 in the 2003 ALDS, Boston rallied back to beat Oakland in three straight games, sending the team to the ALCS, where they inevitably lost to the Yankees in seven games. Then, in the 2004 ALCS, the Sox were facing elimination against the Yankees, and after losing Game 3 19-8, and going down three games to none. However, with some heroics, the Sox made baseball history, becoming the first team in baseball history to win a seven-game series after being down 0-3.

Beckett is no stranger to the postseason. In seven career starts in the playoffs, Beckett has gone 4-2 with a 1.87 ERA, including two wins this postseason. In 2003, Beckett, then 23, won the World Series MVP after winning the series clincher for the Marlins on two days rest. In three career starts in championship series, Beckett is 2-0 with a 3.20 ERA, and won the first game of this year's ALCS at Fenway, guiding the team to a 10-3 victory, going six innings and giving up four hits.

Opposing Beckett will be his opponent from Game 1, C.C. Sabathia. Sabathia got rocked in their first matchup, giving up eight runs in 4 1/3 innings. Even so, it has become clear that one of these two pitchers will win this year's AL Cy Young Award, so relying on Sabathia to copy his performance from Game 1 will be a bit of a stretch, especially considering the venue. The Indians fans have been going crazy since Game 3, and it seems like this trend will carry over into the fifth game, where the Indians could go to the World Series for the first time since 1997, and look to capture its first World Series title in 60 years.

The Sox' offense has been put in neutral ever since Manny Ramirez and Mike Lowell hit back-to-back home runs off of Rafael Perez in Game 2, and have been outscored 18-5 since that point. While they have shown hints of life in the past two games, with a two-run home run by Jason Varitek in Game 3 to close the deficit to two runs, and back-to-back-to-back homers in Game 4 to make the score 7-3, they have been unable to do anything else to capitalize on those offensive outbursts.

Cleveland has scored first in each of the four games of the series. In addition, the Sox were able to get to the two pitchers, Sabathia and Fausto Carmona, who were the headliners of the Indians' staff, and have been completely ineffective against Cleveland's other two starters, Jake Westbrook and Paul Byrd, who combined to give up four runs over 11 2/3 innings in their wins.

It seems like the seven-run 12th inning in Game 2 by the Indians has been a back-breaker for the Sox, whose bullpen was completely exposed after their big guns, Mike Timlin, Hideki Okajima, and Jonathan Papelbon, were used earlier. With their best pitcher going in what could be the final game of the season for the Sox, it will be up to Beckett to keep Boston in the game, and also, it will be up to the offense to make a turnaround and send the series back to Fenway Park, where Boston has had so much success this season.

Posted by Rich Lyons at 10:58 AM | Comments (0)

October 17, 2007

Famous Last Words

Eric Byrnes isn't even close to the first man to end up eating his words when it was all over for himself and his club. The Arizona Diamondbacks' outfielder and resident character might be the first man to end up eating dirt in the same mouthful, though.

That was Byrnes, with a glorious enough chance to tie it up with one swing in the top of the ninth Monday night, diving futilely to and past first base when his grounder ended up going from Troy Tulowitski to Todd Helton with the National League pennant attached to it, marked for the Colorado Rockies.

Byrnes, who tried firing up his mates during a Saturday night commentary in which he didn't suggest but said right out that the Rockies hadn't outplayed the Diamondbacks, that they got the bounces and the calls and the breaks, oblivious enough to the salient point that while the Snakes might have out-hit the Rockies just enough, they didn't out-exploit the Rockies when it mattered the most.

And there he was, face down past first base while Todd Helton and his mates swooped into the celebration swarm, left to ponder, perhaps, that maybe Branch Rickey, that ancient master manipulator, had a point about luck being the residue of design.

Byrnes will probably shake it off before these words are finished. As well he should. Even if he's joining a decently distinguished lineup of men who found themselves having to eat words, if not dirt, when the final results were tabulated.

Casey Stengel had to enjoy such a diet once upon a time. Managing the Boston Braves before World War II, the Ol' Perfesser fumed when a rookie left-hander refused on direct orders to knock down Brooklyn Dodgers shortstop Pee Wee Reese. Stengel ran the kid back to the minors with the no-guts tag.

Two decades later, the kid earned the right to say he'd played for Casey before and after Casey was a genius, thanks to spending part of the end of his career with the hapless 1965 New York Mets. And Stengel earned the right to say, about Bronze Star winner and Hall of Fame pitcher Warren Spahn, "I said 'no guts' to a kid who went on to become a war hero and one of the greatest pitchers anybody ever saw. You can't say I don't miss 'em when I miss 'em."

Charlie Dressen knew the feeling, too. His Dodgers stood 13 games up after beating their single most hated rival in Ebbets Field, where the walls between the opposing clubhouses were about as thick as the density of the lineup card.

Dressen still couldn't resist. "Roll out the barrel, the Giants is dead," he led his players in chanting. Did I mention the season was 1951?

Lew Burdette learned the hard way about putting a little understandable hubris into a few badly chosen public words. After he beat the New York Yankees in Game 2 of the 1958 World Series — a year after his Milwaukee Braves won the Series in seven, with Burdette winning three of the needed four — the prankish right-hander (he was usually Warren Spahn's partner in comedy crime) flapped his yap.

"I wish the Yankees were in the National League," Burdette drawled. "They'd be lucky to finish second." That was Burdette losing his next two starts, including the deciding game, as the Yankees were so amused by his pronouncement they went on to win the Series in seven.

Oil Can Boyd, a pitcher once renowned for learning things the hard way, had to learn such lessons before Game 3 of the 1986 World Series was a third of an inning old. Before the Series moved to Fenway Park, with the Red Sox up two games to none, the stick-figure right-hander just couldn't resist predicting, "I will master the Mets."

The problems only began when Lenny Dykstra couldn't resist hitting the third pitch of the game into the right field seats. They continued when Wally Backman just couldn't resist lining a followup single to right, Keith Hernandez just couldn't resist lining a first and third making, opposite field single to left, Gary Carter just couldn't resist hammering an RBI double to the back of center field, Ray Knight just couldn't resist beating one out to load the pads, and Danny Heep — a reserve in the DH slot — just couldn't resist lining one up the pipe to send home Hernandez and Carter for a game-opening 4-0 lead.

The Mets went on to win the game, 7-1. You know the rest of the story of that Series. I think.

Let's put it this way about Jose Canseco. He didn't learn a thing from the manner in which his first major braggadocio prediction was answered. Bragging that his Oakland Athletics would bludgeon the Los Angeles Dodgers in five in the 1988 World Series got him nothing but the A's getting flattened in five by the Dodgers.

Well, it got him Dave Parker's promise "to clean, stuff, and mount" him (Thomas Boswell's translation) if he so much as breathed the wrong breath from then on. Sure enough, the A's swept the San Francisco Giants in the 1989 Series, with or without a little help from a tragic earthquake.

A year after that, there was Canseco predicting another Series sweep, and there were the Cincinnati Reds to make the prediction come true. The only problem with that was that the Reds disagreed with Canseco as to the sweeper and the sweepee.

There was no Dave Parker to promise to clean, stuff, and mount Canseco this time. The A's decided they couldn't afford to re-sign Parker after 1989. It turned out they really couldn't have afforded to let him go just yet.

And the Diamondbacks probably don't have anyone with the experience or the authority to promise a cleaning, stuffing, and mounting of Byrnes if he so much as speaks above the tone of a pregnant pause while he's on the Diamondbacks' time in 2008.

Livan Hernandez? A decade after he stood as the World Series MVP, the former Senor Octobure didn't look so good running out of gas enough in Game 3 that Yorvit Torrealba — Yorvit Torrealba?!? — couldn't hit a two-out, three-run homer to bust a one-all tie and give the Colorado bullpen all the lead it needed to keep the Snakes to one hit the rest of the night.

Manager Bob Melvin? The skipper already looked dubious enough when he argued, futilely and foolishly, that Justin Upton had done the right thing by sticking an arm up into the leg, if not the crotch, of Kaz Matsui in Game 1, trying to bust up a double play that got called anyway thanks to interference.

And he looked a lot more dubious by declining to send Brandon Webb out for Game 4, three days' rest or not, then letting Micah Owings — a good-hitting pitcher — hit for himself with Justin Upton on second (a one-out double off the tricky right field scoreboard and fence angles), producing a swishout and a bottom of the fourth they won't forget as long as they play baseball in Colorado.

You can admire Melvin for standing by his man, even as you ponder just what he was really thinking when he said of Byrnes's Saturday belch, "He's a vocal guy. He's going to say what he wants. I don't know that everybody reads everything that's out there in this clubhouse, anyway. It used to be that there was a lot of fodder for bulletin boards and so forth. Nowadays, you see guys being a little more vocal about things, and I don't know if it matters one way or the other."

They may not have read it in the Diamondbacks clubhouse, but they probably framed it in the Rockies'. And if they didn't, the Coors Field fans made the Snakes only too well aware of it, and not merely by booing lustily every time Byrnes batted or cheering madly when it was he who made the final out of the set.

Byrnes is locquacious and witty enough to have himself a neat broadcasting gig on the side with ESPN. But he may not be that cognisant of not-too-ancient history. Jose Canseco wasn't the only one to whom the 1988 Dodgers fed his own words. David Cone, then a Mets pitcher, was foolish enough to say in a ghostwritten newspaper column that his Mets were bound to beat the Dodgers and that high school pitcher they had for a closer.

That was Cone who got ripped in two innings in Game 2 of that LCS after Dodger manager Tommy Lasorda got hold of the column, highlighted in the right places, and tacked it up in the Dodger clubhouse. "Lasorda," wrote Boswell, "should have been awarded the poor kid's ears."

And with Byrnes — finishing an 0-for-8 run in the two games following his schpritz — on his belly like a parched snake past first base, a perfect if heart-rending analogy for the manner in which the Diamondbacks' striking season came to its bitter end, you wouldn't have been too surprised to find enough Diamondbacks fans prepared to award someone something more than mere ears. Maybe Byrnes's head on a plate.

Posted by Jeff Kallman at 11:49 AM | Comments (0)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 31

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jeff Gordon — Gordon and his fuel tank held off a charging Clint Bowyer to win in Charlotte, Gordon's sixth win of the year. He now leads the points by 68 over Jimmie Johnson, 78 over Bowyer, and at least two country miles over the rest of the field.

"I didn't run out of gas," says Gordon, "and hopefully I won't run out of luck. I'm living a charmed life. I guess there's a lot you can say about being in the right place at the right time. How else can you explain me hooking up with a model?"

2. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson was making a strong run to the front with 104 laps remaining when he spun on the backstretch. He stayed off the wall, but fell to 30th after pitting for minor repairs and finished 14th.

"I'd like to say I could blame my spin on something besides my own error," says Johnson, "so I'm gonna go chat with Tony Stewart and get some names of the 'blamable.' Honestly, I guess I got a little ahead of myself. My car was so good, I could almost taste victory. Unfortunately, I started my victory burnout a little too early."

3. Clint Bowyer — Bowyer was unable to get by Jeff Gordon on the green-white-checkered restart and had to settle for another second-place finish. Three of Bowyer's five top-five finishes this year have come during the Chase, and he sits solidly at third in the points, 78 behind Gordon and only 10 behind Jimmie Johnson in second.

"More and more fans are starting to recognize me now that I've made an impact in the Chase," says Bowyer. "Why, just the other day, someone said to me, 'Aren't you the guy that drives that Jack Daniels car?'"

4. Tony Stewart — Stewart collided with Kasey Kahne in the pits, suffering fender damage, but still managing a seventh-place finish. Stewart is now 198 points out of first and close to conceding his chances for the Cup.

"You want a concession speech?" says Stewart. "I'll give you one, but first you have to turn all cameras and all recording devices off, and sign this waiver promising that you won't repeat any of the profanity you're about to hear."

5. Kyle Busch — Busch finished third in Charlotte behind Jeff Gordon and Clint Bowyer to rebound from his wreck at Talladega two weeks ago. Gordon and Busch were running 1-2 late in the race when car owner Rick Hendrick advised both to "be smart" and "not wreck each other."

"I wonder if Rick's orders would have been the same had I been in first and Jeff was behind me?" asks Busch. "I think I still would have been asked not to wreck us, but I also would have been asked to politely and quietly pull to the side and let Jeff by. I would, of course, have done it discreetly, so not to alarm anyone who may have accused us of executing 'team orders.' Come on. This isn't Formula 1. It's every man for himself, unless you happen to be the soon-to-be former teammate of the driver who's leading the points."

6. Carl Edwards — Edwards and crew battled all night, benefitting from fifteen cautions that allowed multiple adjustments, and ended the night in fifth place. Edwards moved up one spot to fifth in the points, where he trails Jeff Gordon by 240.

"I'm not out of this yet," says Edwards. "A win or two, coupled with a few wrecks by those guys ahead of me, and I'm in business. And I've got the perfect bait for wrecks: Matt Kenseth."

7. Kurt Busch — Busch survived a pit road collision with Mark Martin, but fought his way back and was running in the top five when he lost a cylinder. He finished 26th and is now 315 points behind Jeff Gordon.

"Penske definitely had the cars to win in Charlotte," says Busch, "but not the engines. I didn't realize we too had an engine deal with Dale Earnhardt Incorporated."

8. Jeff Burton — Burton's fourth in the Bank of America was his best finish of the Chase, and he moved from last to tenth in the points, 366 out of first.

"As a native of South Boston, Virginia," says Burton, "all I have to say is 'Go Red Sox!,' 'Go Patriots!,' and 'Go Ward Burton!'"

9. Martin Truex, Jr. — Truex was running seventh when the race was red-flagged on lap 324. When the race restarted under caution, Truex somehow missed pit road and dropped 10 positions when he pitted under green. He finished 17th and fell to 11th in the points, 378 off of Jeff Gordon's leading pace.

"I urge all congressional aides to update their inoculations should they plan on attending a NASCAR race," says Truex. "That's good, sound advice to ensure the health and safety of congressional aides. And so is this piece of advice: if you're a congressional aides attending a NASCAR event, keep that piece of information to yourself. Otherwise, instead of disease, an ass-kicking will be your problem."

10. Denny Hamlin — Hamlin finished 20th in Charlotte, and has only one top-10 finish in the Chase (a fourth at Talladega). He is ninth in the points, 349 out of first.

"It looks like my teammate and pal Tony Stewart had another pit lane run-in with Paul Menard," says Hamlin. "Tony leads all drivers in pit road incidents this year. I'd say it's a safe bet that Menard's car will feel Stewart's front bumper, then the wall, in that order this Sunday in Martinsville."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:47 AM | Comments (1)

October 16, 2007

In the Box: NFL Week 6

If two teams play a football game on Monday night and nobody watches, did they really play?

Seriously. In a matchup between the ultra-dramatic baseball playoffs and New York Giants 31, Atlanta Falcons 10, the only reason to choose football was if your fantasy game depended on it.

Hopefully you didn't have Joey Harrington (because if you did, you'd be an idiot).

But since this is a football column, a few notes:

1. Look at it this way, Atlanta fans: you'll have an entire summer of Brian Brohm/Bobby Petrino reunion stories to get you pumped up for next year. (Neither the Rams or Dolphins would take him No. 1.)

2. Somebody is going to get a good TE on the cheap when Alge Crumpler gets cut this summer.

3. The rest of the Giants' schedule: San Francisco, @Miami, Bye, Dallas, @Detroit, Minnesota, @Chicago, @Philadelphia, Washington, @Buffalo, New England.

The Dallas home game and Bears/Eagles/Redskins back-to-back-to-back will be a challenge, but I don't see any way this team finishes with fewer than 10 wins and a chance at playoff redemption for Eli Manning.

4. Where are the "Maybe I was the problem, after all" quotes from Tiki Barber? Did they kick him off TV already? Or is he just busy talking about celebrity alcoholics during the fourth hour of the "Today Show?"

5. Even injured, this is the best Plaxico Burress we've ever seen.

Fantasy Impact: Jerious Norwood should be getting a minimum of 20 touches per game — not counting kick returns. Petrino is a smart guy. He'll figure it out.

New England 48, Dallas 27: Everything has already been written about this game, so a piece of advice for all aspiring bar owners:

Sports trivia is good.

Sports trivia with a paper football kicking contest as the tie-breaker is better.

Sports trivia with a paper football kicking contest as the tie-breaker with a professional-quality goal post and the owner promising you free drinks if you can beat him ... well, that's just fantastic.

Also, Sunday Ticket, shuffle board, Golden Tee Live 2008, and $50 beer pong tournaments on Wednesdays, if you care about those kinds of things.

So if you happen to be traveling Highway 40 through St. Charles County, Missouri, get off the Highway N exit (Exit 4). Place is called Buckets, on the corner of N and South Henke. Go in and tell them Seth sent you. They'll have no idea what you're talking about. Order a drink and have a good time.

Fantasy Impact: Let me interrupt this good-times roll with a sobering note for Patriots fans going into Week 7: Tom Brady stinks in Miami.

Nobody needs to tell me how great Brady is. I've been a Pats diehard since Steve Grogan. I am well capable of understanding the magnitude of Brady's historic performance through the first six weeks. And I know the 6-0 Pats and 0-6 Dolphins are about as far away on the power spectrum as two teams can get from one another. But none of that changes the fact Jason Taylor and Zach Thomas own Brady.

His career starts in Miami:

2006: 21-0 loss; Corey Dillon had more yards running, 79, than Brady did passing, 78. No TD or INT

2005: 23-16 win; 21-of-36 for 275, 2 TD and 2 INT

2004: 29-28 loss; Pats were 12-1, Miami 2-11; Brady went 18-of-29 for 171, 3 TD and 4 INT

2003: 19-13 win in overtime as Olindo Mare missed two game-winning kicks off the dirt; Brady had 200 yards passing and one TD before an 82-yarder to Troy Brown for the win

2002: 26-13 loss; 17-of-31 for 240, 2 TD and 2 INT

2001: 30-10 loss; 12-of-24 for 86 yards

In the six games at Miami, Brady is 2-4 with 8 TD and 7 INT. He's been sacked 16 times and fumbled 7 times, losing 4. This is his house of horrors. Taylor and Thomas are his boogeymen.

I'm not saying the Pats are going to lose in Miami this Sunday (he's never had Randy Moss, Donte Stallworth, and Wes Welker before), but they're damn sure not going to be my Survivor League pick.

(Washington at home over Arizona.)

Green Bay 17, Washington 14: Do not be surprised when these two teams rematch in the playoffs a few months from now. The Redskins defense held the Packers to just 225 yards total offense, and only 56 rushing. The Packers stuffed the Redskins' playmakers (Clinton Portis with 64 yards on 20 carries, Antwaan Randle El 2 catches for 30 yards, and Santana Moss no catches and one disastrous fumble returned for a touchdown).

With that said, both teams deserved to lose this game. Green Bay rookie kicker Mason Crosby had his first terrible day as a pro, missing two critical field goals. And Washington for the second time this year mangled a fourth quarter from the sidelines, essentially giving away the game. Their last two drives were straight out of the Marty Schottenheimer Playoffs Choke Cookbook. And it should be a concern for Redskins fans, who could have had an undefeated team right now.

Fantasy Impact: This is the week to try and pry away Santana Moss on the cheap. If you have him, hold on. If you don't, make a play. I've got a feeling he's going to break out big against the Cards next week.

Minnesota 34, Chicago 31: Didn't this Bears defense used to be good?

Fantasy Impact: I've been dogging on Chester Taylor all year, but he showed signs of his former self on Sunday with 22 carries for 83 yards. Of course Adrian Peterson is by far the best RB on the team (or division, or conference, or east of San Diego), but Taylor is an admirable fill-in, especially if the Vikings are going to run the ball 43 times per game.

On that note, I'm not at all against the time sharing agreement. Everybody seems to want head coach Brad Childress to give Peterson the ball 40 times per game. But if he did, they'd criticize him for running the guy into the ground (Herm Edwards with Larry Johnson as the most recent example). You can't have it both ways. Childress is doing the right thing.

New Orleans 28, Seattle 17: Two questions:

1. Other than riding Reggie White and Brett Favre to a Super Bowl, has Mike Holmgren ever done anything to deserve being called a good head coach?

2. What's the difference between Matt Hasselbeck and Rex Grossman?

Fantasy Impact: Drew Brees finally looked good. Reggie Bush finally looked good. The Saints offensive line finally looked good. Now all New Orleans needs is for their two best WRs, Marques Colston and Devery Henderson, to stop acting like Darrell Jackson and CATCH THE FREAKING BALL, MARY!

Tampa Bay 13, Tennessee 10: It's not often you see a team with a 3:1 rush yardage ratio and 15 minutes advantage in time of possession lose, but that's what happened to Tennessee, forced to ride Kerry Collins once Vince Young left the game with a quad injury.

Fantasy Impact: It's not really a fantasy note, but you have to be impressed with Tampa's ability to keep Jeff Garcia on his feet. The Titans didn't record a single sack, allowing Garcia to put up a very decent 274 yards passing (20 of 31) with one touchdown and no interceptions. Against a D-line with Kyle Vanden Bosch and Albert "Please Don't Stomp On My Face" Haynesworth, that's pretty impressive.

(Remember when he did that? That was great.)

Also, if Young isn't ready to go, the Titans are toast at Houston next week.

San Diego 28, Oakland 14: I cannot believe LaMont Jordan, with a bad back, played the entire game, rushing 18 times for 42 yards (2.3 average), plus 6 receptions for 46 yards, while Dominic Rhodes, fresh from a four-week DUI suspension, got just one carry that was called back on a Robert Gallery holding penalty. I'm not saying Rhodes would have made the difference against what is suddenly a re-invigorated Chargers defense, but that's a big weapon to leave in the holster on the road against a division rival. Lane Kiffin needs to do a much better job of mixing Rhodes in next week at home against Kansas City.

Fantasy Impact: The Raiders defense can't stop the run (5.6 per rush attempt, worst in the league) or put pressure on the opposing quarterback (only 7 sacks, 27th in the NFL).

On a related note, the Raiders' next five opponents are KC (Larry Johnson, Tony Gonzalez), Tennessee (Vince Young, LenDale White), Houston (Matt Schaub, Andre Johnson), Chicago (Brian Griese, Cedric Benson), and Minnesota (Adrian Peterson, Chester Taylor).

Cleveland 41, Miami 31: Five points:

1. The best way I can describe Cleo Lemon (24-of-43, 256 yards passing, 2 TD, 2 INT; 2 rush TDs) is to say he's a stronger, more athletic version of Jay Fiedler. That's not bad.

(And can writers please stop referring to him as "some guy named Cleo Lemon?" He's got an unusual name for an NFL player. It was funny for the first week. Get over it.)

2. Derek Anderson is legit (18-of-25, 245 yards passing, 3 TD; 1 rush TD), but let's not forget to give a little love to offensive coordinator Rob Chudzinski. The Browns offense has come a looooooooong way since the Maurice Carthon disaster of 2006.

3. The Dolphins need to get Ted Ginn more involved.

4. Joey Porter wasn't worth $20 million in guaranteed money. Between this, the Drew Brees/Daunte Culpepper and Culpepper/Trent Green misfires, you have to seriously wonder about Miami GM Randy Mueller's decision making.

(I didn't mind Ginn over Brady Quinn as much as many, but that also qualifies as a head-scratcher.)

5. The four most prolific QB-WR scoring tandems in the NFL: Brady to Moss (8), Manning to Burress (8), Carson Palmer to T.J. Houshmandzadeh (7), and Anderson to Braylon Edwards (7).

And the Indians are going to face the Rockies in the World Series. Cleveland rocks.

Fantasy Impact: The Browns are off next week, so it's a bit early, but Phil Dawson is a quality pickup for Weeks 8 (@St. Louis) and 9 (Seattle).

Baltimore 22, St. Louis 3: The Rams are chum.

(Chum: A mixture of fish parts and blood, dumped into the water to attract predator fish, such as sharks.)

Fantasy Impact: Medic!

Carolina 25, Arizona 10: Can we bring Ron Jaworski back to play? I was too young to really enjoy his heyday. How about Fran Tarkenton? What's he doing? Sammy Baugh? Sonny Jurgensen? Y.A. Tittle?

Also, Arizona's leading tackler was Monty Beisel, the worst signing (tie with Dwayne Starks) in the Bill Belichick/Scott Pioli era in New England. That's not a good sign.

Fantasy Impact: If I had to build a team from scratch, I would pick Steve Smith as my first wide receiver. He doesn't have the size of a Moss, Terrell Owens, or Chad Johnson, but he is by far the toughest receiver out there. I just love watching the guy play.

Also, Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald owners are screwed if it's Tim Rattay long-term.

Kansas City 27, Cincinnati 20: Funniest headline on Monday: "Dusty Baker wants to restore winning aura to Reds."

HA!

Not only is this great because it dooms the Reds to at least four years of losing baseball, it eliminates Nightmare Scenario Number 3 from the St. Louis Cardinals offseason. (Number 1 is Larry Bowa, followed by Jimy Williams.)

Fantasy Impact: Just a note to keep in mind: We're two weeks away from the return of Chris Henry for the Bengals. This team is going to blow up in the second half. (That's a good thing.) If you can pry Carson Palmer away now, you will be doing yourself a great service. I'm telling you — these guys are going to be in the playoff conversation come Thanksgiving.

Also, the Chiefs just traded Michael Bennett to Tampa, which means Priest Holmes is days away from a return to action. Pick him up now.

Jacksonville 37, Houston 17: I'm about to the point of admitting I was completely wrong about Jack Del Rio's handling of the David Garrard/Byron Leftwich situation. I'm not completely there yet, if only because of pride, but the Jags are playing as one dominant team, not the talented-but-fractured bunch that's been the trademark of Del Rio's tenure. I cannot wait for next Monday night, when they host the Colts.

Fantasy Impact: Do not make any judgment based on Matt Schaub's recent struggles. He's going to be a completely different guy once Andre Johnson returns. If somebody in your league panics on Schaub, don't hesitate to pick up the pieces.

Philadelphia 16, NY Jets 9: Down by a touchdown at home, on the Philly four with 2nd-and-1 and under five minutes left:

Thomas Jones stuffed for nothing.

Chad Pennington stuffed for nothing.

Incomplete to Laveranues Coles. Turnover on downs. They never got the ball back.

When you can't score that touchdown at home, you're a bad team. That's all there is to it.

(Another sign you're a bad team: Allowing the other guys to convert 9-of-16 third-down attempts.)

Fantasy Impact: It was nice to see Jones finally put up some production with 24 carries for 130 yards, but I still say this offense needs to add a lot more Leon.

Seth Doria is a freelance writer based out of St. Louis. For the only daily column that mixes sports, politics, and entertainment news in one, visit The Left Calf.

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 11:58 AM | Comments (0)

Who Can Stop the Rocky Mountain High?

Baseball fans in Colorado have been treated to one of the most impressive runs in recent memory. The Rockies have shocked critics with each successive victory, but at some point, you have to wonder if or when this Cinderella story is going to end.

With a 4-0 sweep in the NLCS against the Diamondbacks, the Rockies are this year's National League representative in the Fall Classic for the first time in franchise history. They just completed back-to-back series sweeps in impressive fashion. Touted as one of the NL's best offenses all season, the Rockies have surprised many of baseball's best with the ways they have been winning. Colorado's stellar pitching and top-ranked defense have silenced the big bats the Phillies carried all year long, and the young patient talent of the Diamondbacks.

With the NL Championship in their possession, I cannot help but look ahead to their potential World Series opponent. The ALCS is still up for grabs with the series tied at one game a piece. Cleveland and Boston will slug it out in a few more spectacular games that even the most casual fan can't help but appreciate.

If the Red Sox were to emerge victorious, the Rockies would be traveling to Boston to start the World Series, where they were able to take two of three from the Sox this season. Despite the series loss to Colorado, Boston sported an impressive 12-6 interleague play record this year, second best in the American League behind the Angels (14-4) and Tigers (14-4). Even though they had the Red Sox number during the regular season, Fenway is a whole different monster (no pun intended) during the postseason.

Cleveland also presents a challenge to a young Rockies team that, despite their recent streak, still wants to prove they are a championship caliber ball club. Since 2004, the Indians are 5-1 against Colorado, including five straight. The Indians are also putting up some ridiculous playoff numbers, including five players (Kenny Lofton, Grady Sizemore, Victor Martinez, Ryan Garko, and Jhonny Peralta) with batting averages above .340. Their mix of experience and youthful exuberance could challenge a young Rockies pitching staff in unfamiliar territory.

Whether it's Boston or Cleveland, one thing is for sure, we are in for possibly one of the best Fall Classics the game has ever seen. I hope fans in Colorado are truly appreciating the ride their team has given them to this point. Virtual mistake-free baseball for about a month now has catapulted the Rockies from lovable underdog to potential World Champion. In about two weeks, we will see if that Rocky Mountain high can carry the Rockies all the way home.

Can the Rockies be stopped? Post your take in the comments.

Posted by Troy Parker at 11:09 AM | Comments (0)

October 15, 2007

Is Pac-10's Parity Mediocrity or Strength?

A couple of weeks ago, the Pac-10 Conference was being touted as the best conference in college football. And why not, with four teams ranked in the top 15? But, a few upsets later, sentiment is shifting back to the SEC as as the toughest conference. That would be tough to argue at this point, with seven of the league's 12 teams ranked in the top 25, three of them in the top 10.

The Pac-10 appears to be the conference that no one wants to win, except for maybe Arizona State. Aside from UCLA, the Sun Devils are the only unbeaten team in the conference (3-0, 7-0), but came one bad call and a bad kick away from losing to Washington State a couple weeks ago. The Bruins are 3-0 in league play, but have lost two non-conference games (to Utah and Notre Dame), meaning they could be in trouble when it comes time to play the upper-echelon teams like ASU, Cal (this coming weekend), Oregon, and USC.

Speaking of those three, they all have yet to play Arizona State, which has a brutal schedule coming up, with games against Cal, Oregon, UCLA, and USC all in a row after a bye week. The good news is they get two of the better teams at home in Cal and USC, but they travel to Oregon (Autzen Stadium is one of the toughest places to play in the country) and UCLA, which isn't quite as daunting a task as beating the Ducks in Eugene, but is still a road game. Oregon has already played Cal and lost, and will host USC along with the Civil War against arch-rival Oregon State, a team that appears to be up-and-coming. More on them later.

USC's schedule isn't much of a walk in the park, either. After getting a conference breather from Notre Dame this weekend, the Trojans have the best of the rest in the league left on the docket — Oregon, Oregon State, Cal, Arizona State, and UCLA. Can they get through those games without a defeat? A couple weeks into the season, many of the so-called "experts" believed USC could beat a few NFL teams, but after losing to lowly Stanford and hanging on for a touchdown win over not-much-better Arizona, they don't look nearly like the world beaters they were before October rolled around. With only Oregon State and UCLA coming to the Coliseum, it's a safe bet that the Trojans could lose as many as two of those road games (Oregon and Cal are my picks).

Mentioning Cal, they seem to have the easiest road to the Rose Bowl of any of the teams vying for the Pac-10 title. With Oregon and Oregon State already out of the way (although last weekend's loss to the Beavers might spark a little bit of a slide), the Bears have UCLA, Arizona State, and USC sprinkled in among games with league cellar-dwellers Washington State, Washington, and Stanford. However, the only "toughies" they have at home is USC, with back-to-back road games against UCLA (this weekend) and ASU. There's great potential for a split between those two games.

Okay, now to talk about Oregon State. The likelihood of the Beavers winning the Pac-10 is about as likely as Notre Dame winning a BCS berth, but they could make some noise regarding who actually is left standing at the end of the year. With Saturday's upset of Cal in Berkeley, the OSU finds itself on a two-game winning streak with Stanford up next in Corvallis. After a tough trip to USC, the Beavers get Washington at home and then travel to Pullman to face Washington State, both winnable games. To end the season, it's the aforementioned Civil War in Eugene in which — sorry for the cliché — you can throw the record books out. The Beavers could end up being the spoilers for their arch-rivals.

All this begs the question, "Does this mean the Pac-10 isn't very good, or they're so good they can't help but beat each other every weekend?" This question has been asked about the SEC before, and is probably being asked this year, as well, and the consensus answer is always, "They're just that good." But can the Pac-10 command the same respect as the hallowed SEC? Why not, since in their only head-to-head matchup this season, Cal easily handled Tennessee.

All right, that's not a very good reason to say that the Pac-10 is on-par with the SEC, but when one looks at the results this year, the games in which the top teams have either knocked each other off or lost to an underdog have all been fairly close games. Just ask Arkansas — the Razorbacks are just 20 points shy of being undefeated in the conference instead of 0-3, with two of those losses coming by a combined five points.

What it all boils down to is that neither conference can claim supremacy until the season is over and bowls are completed. Any head-to-head matchup might tell the tale, but what is even more telling is which two schools will be in the BCS National Championship game? Could it be Pac-10 vs. SEC? Maybe Arizona State vs. Kentucky, or USC vs. LSU, or Cal vs. South Carolina? Only time, and the polls, will tell, and only after then will we be able to decide if the Pac-10 was worth its mettle this season — or if it was just another year of mediocrity.

Posted by Adam Russell at 11:55 AM | Comments (0)

How to Right the Yankees' Sinking Ship

The New York Yankees' recent pitiful showing in the AL Division Series vs. Cleveland, during which they only managed one win, and key bats were quiet, has fueled a great deal of speculation regarding where the blame lay. Though most credit the club for being able to secure a wild card slot after a disastrous 16-26 start, the Bronx Bombers have failed to deliver in every postseason since 2000, and have only reached one World Series since. It is manager Joe Torre's fault? Is it Alex Rodriguez's, or have the other teams just caught up with the once three-peaters?

Though Torre should probably go, it is not he that continues to sign Roger Clemens over and over, has not gone out and found new pitchers, or traded to replace worn closer Mariano Rivera. And Torre doesn't bat in the postseason either. When the team was unbeatable (1998-2000 in the recent vintage), Rivera was young, and a nucleus of young players who manned key positions — Derek Jeter at short, Jorge Posada behind the dish, and Bernie Williams in center — were influenced by veterans from outside the organization like Tim Raines, Tino Martinez, Paul O'Neill, David Wells, Wade Boggs, John Olerud, and Ruben Sierra mong them.

In those days, the Yanks didn't attempt to build a fantasy team, they sought gamers and role players. A postseason clutch hit was as likely to be delivered by a Luis Sojo, a Sierra, a Jose Vizcaino, or an Aaron Boone as by a superstar. The Pinstripers had an aura, a swagger. Since they've shifted their philosophy to adding stat sheet stuffers the likes of Gary Sheffield, Jason Giambi, and Bobby Abreu, all they have is a swagger. That fault lies at the feet of GM Brian Cashman, not Torre.

The Yankees lack an attitude. If Torre is canned (or, because of his years of service, "allowed to step down," which would be the dignified approach), A-Rod bolts, and Mariano Rivera leaves because Torre is gone, no new skipper can give them pride. Not Joe Girardi, who is equipped to handle the heavy-handed New York media, and not Tony LaRussa, who unlike Torre, manages in a league where one must pinch hit for pitchers, manufacture runs, and be more than a caretaker. The fight and inspiration must come from the guys who take the field. Besides, neither LaRussa, Girardi, or Lou Piniella is gonna pitch.

This organization needs the kind of (younger) arms that made Oakland, Minnesota, Arizona, California, Cleveland, and Detroit winners over the past five seasons. When the White Sox swept to their Series victory, they got complete games out of all four pitchers. One, Jose Contreras, was inexplicably given up on by Cashman. So was another Cuban that can still get guys out — Orlando "El Duque" Hernandez — and they were not replaced.

Teams do not retool by adding a new slugger every offseason. The Red Sox employed this tactic from 1940-2002, with limited success. Walt Dropo, Jackie Jensen, Dick Stuart, Tony Conigilaro, Ken Harrelson, Orlando Cepeda, Tony Perez, Tony Armas, Don Baylor, Mike Greenwell. They were bombers, too, but the team never posssessed the type of left-handed pitching to keep opposing righties from launching balls over the Green Monster. Instead, they signed guys for a club designed to outscore the opposition by aiming for the Great Wall themselves.

Sure, the 2007 Yanks almost caught Boston, but postseason baseball is about pitching. Why didn't Cashman go after closers like Billy Wagner and Eric Gagne when they were available in recent years? Why weren't the Yanks in the market for starters such as Bartolo Colon, Tim Hudson, Derek Lowe, Mark Mulder, Esteban Loiza, and Josh Beckett? They were available. And if Cashman insists on going older, why not Tom Glavine and not always Roger Clemens (who doesn't pitch the whole summer anyway)?

There are middle school kids who can't remember when the team was dominant. It is time for a change, but the biggest changes should be made in the front office, not by a star-struck GM obsessed with mind-boggling stats.

Posted by Bijan C. Bayne at 11:45 AM | Comments (3)

October 13, 2007

Strikeforce Marino

Not a fan of Dan Marino as a television personality. Mainly because he doesn't appear to outwardly exhibit one.

His space on the CBS NFL studio show dais virtually assures that program will always have less sizzle than its competitors on FOX and various cable outlets. He personifies the worst traits of the ex-jock commentator: unpolished, too reserved, and with this underlying vibe of mandatory attendance — like he'd rather not suffer the fools he's trading barbs with. It's all very austere from a former player who had the guile to pull off that fake spike against the Jets, and a performer who was the third-best thing about the first "Ace Ventura" film (behind Jim Carrey and Tone Loc).

Marino's always been a hell of a lot looser off the network and on HBO's "Inside the NFL"; maybe it's live television that dulls his senses. I don't want to say that it's Bob Costas that drags the interesting out of him, because that would be me giving Bob Costas credit for something, and I would like to be able to look at myself in the mirror tomorrow morning. It really helps me tame the hair.

But it was Costas this week who lit a fire under Marino, igniting the still-flammable emotions of the 1987 NFL Players' Strike.

"Inside the NFL" ran one of those feature stories that HBO Sports does best: piano-twinkling music, buttoned-down narration, and a cinematic feel. It focused on two replacement players for the 1987 Washington Redskins, who went 3-0 with their scabs, including a defeat of the Dallas Cowboys (who had several of their star players back) on "Monday Night Football."

One was a salesman, the other a security guard; both participated in a surreal moment in football history, in which players cut in the preseason and guys right off the street came together to play in the NFL while the professional players picketed their practices and assailed their buses.

Some of these guys even had a chance to play with Keanu Reeves, although I may be thinking about some other replacements.

The HBO feature was as you might expect: charming, informative, and with a tightly-wrapped narrative. And then we go back to the studio, where Costas asks three players who participated in the strike — Chris Carter, Cris Collinsworth, and Marino — their thoughts.

And then Marino snapped to life. He claimed the replacement players had accomplished "nothing," and passionately explained why the strike occurred and why the scabs were an insult to the union guys. They may have been two-decades-old talking points, but he made them sing.

Obviously, Marino knew about this segment beforehand, but there was no mistaking a certain indignity he felt after its broadcast. He was dead serious and deadly accurate in his criticism. It was a startling performance.

Naturally and unfortunately, the producers weren't going to let this turn into a tension convention, so they followed that segment with a short comedy feature on the short-shorts and tanned legs of a younger Marino on the picket line. HBO doesn't usually undercut its moments of sports genuineness with malarkey; in this case, it transformed Marino from an informed NFL labor policy wonk into a grinning ex-jock on a football infotainment show. Like I said: natural and unfortunate.

I'm torn on scabs, to be honest. I think the NFL Players were right to strike, and they continue to get the shaft from their league from a financial security perspective. I was a little too young to really have a stance on the scabs back then, but I think I would have opposed the replacement games.

During the NHL lockout, however, I advocated scab hockey, because I thought it would have been a way to actually put the game back on the right course. Regular Joes lining up at their local rink to try out for the Canadiens and Bruins? Having the logo on the front of the sweater mean more than the name on the back again? Rock-bottom ticket prices to get fans back to the arena, and keep them returning? Beer league players playing old-time hockey? I mean, other than the awful realities of crossed picket lines and union betrayal, what's not to love?

Not that there were picket lines, mind you. It's hard to really get some old-fashioned labor unrest going when half of your workforce is holed up in their summer homes in Europe.

I grew up in a union house. My family has benefited from the strength of that union, from medical benefits to keeping my father employed for most of his adult life. I'm not going to get into the sad decline of the labor movement in the United States, although it's a topic every American should consider during times of economic uncertainty and immigration strife. But I will say that I understand the passion and fury Marino still carries with him about replacement football, and for the players today that have no concern or context for what Danny and his peers did for them 20 years ago.

Even though scabs appeared, the wounds haven't completely healed.

Greg Wyshynski is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 11:18 AM | Comments (0)

October 12, 2007

Previewing a Texas-Sized NFL Showdown

This Sunday, two undefeated silver-and-blue juggernauts take the same field to settle the debate over the NFL's best team. What more could a football fan ask for?

Pick your matchup: Tom Brady vs. Tony Romo, T.O. vs. Randy Moss, Jason Witten vs. Ben Watson, and even a tag team match featuring Lawrence Maroney and Sammy Morris against Marion Barber and Julius Jones. CBS's late game this week is a guaranteed fireworks explosion with big-name stars to spare.

So what separates the two teams? Well, a number of things, but the most pressing is defense. In this case, the Pats hold a major edge here as no New England opponent has scored more than 17 points in the five games played thus far. For the Cowboys, they gave up 35 points to the Giants in Week 1 in a memorable Sunday night shootout that marked a new style of Cowboys football (and was sure to make former coach Bill Parcells sick to his stomach viewing powerless from ESPN's studios) .

Coach Wade Phillips has enhanced the team's scoring abilities, while the defense has left a little to be desired. Since then, the 'Boys have played a string of weak teams with inept offenses that does not tell as much about them. The verdict reached: the Cowboys defense is found to be suspect and questionable at best, while Belichick's Pats D remains much the same stalwart it has been.

As for the apparently dead-even offensive units, give the advantage to the Pats here. Bill Belichick's meticulous mind will leave no stone unturned and find more ways to hinder Dallas' passing attack than Phillips will to stop the veteran Pats. The newly rejuvenated Randy Moss (can you say Vince Carter syndrome?) has run wild on every team he's played this year except Cincinnati. When the Bengals threw everything they had at him, Brady simply looked to Ben Watson for two easy scores and the game was not in doubt. Owens has been spectacular, but not quite as dominant, albeit on a very well-balanced offensive attack.

The running game may be tougher to call. While Barber and Jones both have proven steady and consistent over the past two to three years, Maroney still has something to prove. Was he simply a 2006 flash in the pan? With Morris brought in and getting more carries, Maroney has not exactly taken command of the running game. So essentially Dallas knows what they're getting out of their runners. New England, even though they know themselves and their opponents better than anyone, may not.

What about Belichick's hidden camera show, you ask? Well the jury is out on if he has other unknown methods of trickery, but the Pats cannot effectively do to the Cowboys (or any NFC team for that matter) what they did to the Jets. In the now-infamous Spygate contest, the Pats were essentially matching up the Jets' coaching signals with the game situation (down and distance, time on the clock) so they would know what to look for later on in the season in their second meeting or beyond that. Because any given NFC and AFC teams can only meet once every four years, that strategy would not work. With that said, if the Patriots were still cheating at this point, it would be a shame: New England is too talented and Belichick too smart to have to resort to such petty and trivial violations of both rules and trust.

Was the thrilling MNF win for Dallas a significant bump in the road? A chink in the armor? In a word, no. Dallas simply fell asleep at the wheel and woke up in time to slam on the breaks for the red light. No damage was done. They'll be smarter next time. Tony Romo is better than 5 INTs in one game, and he showed it in the final moments of Monday's spectacular finish. Psychologically, the Cowboys should gain more from their narrow escape from that Buffalo ambush more than anything.

And lastly, to the winner goes the opportunity of an undefeated season. So which team would have a better shot at it? Certainly not any team residing in the NFC East. Yes, the NFC is the ugly stepsister and the Giants, Eagles, and Redskins all had have mediocrity stamped on their foreheads at one time or another, and that's being kind. However, in that division, every game is a rivalry game; every team hates each other. Under those conditions, there is no such thing as a guaranteed win. The Cowboys still have five more divisional contests left to play.

The Pats' division is much weaker, and with less animosity. Bills, Dolphins, and Jets? Please. If New England wins, the Pats only have to fear their scheduled games against the Colts on November 4 inside the RCA Dome, and against the Steelers at home a month later. Any other remaining team would have to play the game of their lives just to stand a chance.

In my final analysis, I would pick New England to prevail by a 31-28 score. The game should feature plenty of long TD passes and perhaps maybe an overtime. Dallas' home-field advantage may still loom large and lift the 'Boys that extra score, so stay tuned, folks. This one is guaranteed to be better viewing than Game 3 of the NLCS this Sunday.

Posted by Bill Hazell at 11:25 AM | Comments (0)

October 11, 2007

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 6

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Cincinnati @ Kansas City (+3)

The Cincinnati defense is surrendering over 30 points per game, third worst in the league, and the offense can't keep up, averaging 26.5. Some of the blame on defense is due to injuries; the rest is attributable to just plain sucking. The injury situation has drove the Bengals to desperate measures to field a patchwork defense that can develop into a respectable unit.

"We're doing something unprecedented here in Cincinnati," says Marvin Lewis. "In our haste to fill positions, we're ignoring character issues, police records, and parole violations and signing players regardless of any problems they may have. As long as their blood alcohol content from their latest DWI does not exceed their 40-yard dash time, they're golden. We've even waived the cavity search. Look, we're not looking for our defense to give us shutouts. We just need them to remember their fundamentals, and force one or two punts a game."

Larry Johnson was held to 12 yards on 9 carries against the hard-hitting Jacksonville defense, which is akin to running on a treadmill through an asteroid belt, or facing a firing squad wearing only a Herman Edward's Chiefs-issue sweater vest.

"In both cases," says Johnson, "Coach Edwards would have you believe each is wise strategy. The man could be a motivational speaker for death-row inmates, and actually have those guys fired up on to get electrocuted or lethally injected."

Johnson should be able to manage 12 yards on approximately one, maybe two, carries against the Bengals. The Chiefs should be able to play Herman's brand of ball control offense that he adores, pounding Johnson into the line for as many yards as possible, plus Herm's favorite prize, a reset play clock. But the Bengals are in desperation mode, and need a win, otherwise Marvin Lewis will be hobbling out of a job. Cincinnati wins, 28-23.

Houston @ Jacksonville (-6 ½)

The Texans beat the Dolphins 22-19 on Kris Brown's 57-yard field goal and Houston improved to 3-2, while defensive lineman Travis Johnson took the league lead in a little-known statistical category known as "unconscious players taunted." Johnson was blocked low by Miami quarterback Trent Green, who was knocked unconscious by Johnson's knee and lay motionless while Johnson taunted him.

"Hey, I've tried to taunt Green while he's conscious," says Johnson, "but he never is. The man's been on more stretchers than Evel Knievel. But on the plus side, he's got just as many successful rocket jumps of the Snake River Canyon as Knievil."

The Texans face the Jaguars in Jacksonville's Municipal Stadium, the 'Mun-Sta,' home of Jaguar mascot Jackson DeVille, who beat out several other fellow DeVille's for the job, including Poison guitarist C.C. and dog owner and Disney character Cruella, who lost despite a ringing endorsement from Michael Vick. The Texans' Johnson won't likely knock any Jags unconscious, and certainly won't taunt them if he does. In fact, if Jacksonville quarterback David Garrard needs to lay a block, he definitely won't go low. Heck, just to make a statement for the quarterback fraternity, he might lay the lethal "helmet-to-jock strap" block on Johnson.

"I call that the 'crotch-rocket,'" says Garrard. "But the best block to lay on a Johnson is the clip."

The Texans could be 0-15 and the Jags could be 15-0, and this still would be a close game. Garrard, running an offense a fifth grader could master, passes for his usual 200 yards and a touchdown. The Jags muster 100 yards on the ground on 47 carries, and Jack Del Rio loves it! Jacksonville wins, 23-21.

Miami @ Cleveland (-4 1/2)

The Dolphins remain winless after losing at Houston 22-19, Miami's third three-point loss of the year. Now, the Dolphins head to Cleveland's Dawg Pound, where Cleo Lemon will get the start in place of Trent Green, who's looking for a qualified stunt double. So far, only one team, Pittsburgh, has entered Cleveland Stadium and left with a win.

"We know Cleveland is a tough place to play," says Cam Cameron, who hosts his own Punk'd-style prank show called Cam-Shafted at 3:30 AM Friday mornings on the Dolphins' Miami affiliate. "It will take lots of preparation to get Cleo ready for what he'll face in Cleveland, not only from the Browns defense, but also from the fans. Then there's the possibility of biblical plagues striking. I think we can handle a swarm of insects, but I'm not sure if there's an audible in our playbook for fiery hail. And if Romeo Crennel throws down his walking stick and it turns into a snake, there's only one thing to do: break and run, brother."

"I'm not into the dark arts," says Crennel, "although I can levitate with only the help of a lovely assistant and an industrial crane. But we will have some tricks to try on Cleo, such as the 'fresh-squeezed Lemon double safety blitz,' and the 'Lemon drop,' in which we fake an 11-man blitz and then drop all into coverage. That should suitably confuse the young man."

Derek Anderson throws for three touchdowns, and Lemon throws two interceptions. Cleveland wins, 24-17.

Minnesota @ Chicago (-6)

The Bears tightened up the race in the NFC North considerably with a gutsy 27-20 win last Sunday night over the Packers at Lambeau Field. Chicago forced five turnovers and Brian Griese made two clutch second-half touchdown passes. Griese's performance eased the nerves of Lovie Smith, who was running out of options at the quarterback position.

"This was obviously a turning point for us," says Smith. "I just hope we don't make two more left turns and head back in the same direction we came from. I'm optimistic, though. Brian was great. I haven't seen a Chicago leader give such a clutch performance since Peter Cetera rocked Red Rocks back in 1987. He was awesome, and Brian was pretty good, too. He went into Lambeau, stared down Brett Favre, wet his pants just a little, and made the plays."

Brad Childress and the Vikes have had a bye week to contemplate a game plan capable of beating the Bears in Chicago.

"So far, nothing," says Childress. "But we're still thinking. I have no doubt we can hold the Bears to 20 points or less. Scoring that many presents possibly the greatest coaching challenge of my life. Here in Minnesota, we include our defense in offensive meetings, since they're usually the ones scoring all the points. If Adrian Peterson can't get us where we're going, then I guess it's up to Tarvaris Jackson to lead the way, which is a thought that sends my late-1800s era saloon bartender mustache aquiver."

There won't be much room to run on these defenses, so Griese and Jackson will have to go to the air. Griese threw often to his tight ends against the Packers, and should have success down that avenue again. Devin Hester scores on a fake punt interception return, as well as an inside-the-park home run, and the Bears win, 20-16.

Philadelphia @ NY Jets (+2 1/2)

The Jets blew a 17-7 half-time lead over the Giants and lost 35-24 to drop to 1-4 as Chad Pennington handed out three interceptions and the running game faltered again. Pennington heard the boos in the Meadowlands, a sound which has become a rallying cry for Jets fans, and, depending on level of inebriation and vicinity to boozed-up skeezers, a mating call.

"I know my days as a starter are like my deep ball," says Pennington. "Short and wobbly. Heck, I think Joe Torre's got a better chance of keeping his job. Shoot, Joe Torre's got a better chance of starting at quarterback than I do. I'm not oblivious. I can see the vultures circling, and sense an army of sewer rats assembling. It's times like this in which I have to tell myself to be strong. I'm going to be a man about this, and hopefully I'll stand and deliver, something I've only before accomplished successfully in front of a urinal."

The Eagles are coming off a bye week and should be fairly healthy for their trip to the swamplands of New Jersey, a familiar destination for Philly mobsters Vinnie and Joey, who use it often as a gun/body/evidence/old appliance repository, and occasionally as a secluded getaway to take a lady friend for approximately an hour. Anyway, running back Bryan Westbrook and safety Brian Dawkins should be healthy for Sunday's game.

"Westbrook is the key to this offense," says Donovan McNabb, "and Dawkins is the leader of this defense. When this team is healthy, we're capable of beating anyone. I've got a gut feeling that we could go on a tear and win four or five in a row. Or, maybe that's just a hernia talking."

It's simple. Philly has a defense, New York does not. The Jets aren't the Giants; McNabb won't be sacked 12 times. Eagles win, 30-20.

St. Louis @ Baltimore (9 1/2)

If only this game could have taken place around the years 2000 or 2001, when the "Greatest Show on Turf" and Baltimore's unstoppable defense were in their prime. Mike Martz and Brian Billick still had the "genius" tags associated with them, without the "self-proclaimed" qualifier attached. Kurt Warner was breaking records, not thumbs, and Tony Siragusa was just a football player and only mildly irritating.

But how times have changed. The Rams are 0-5, now the "Greatest Blow on Turf," with a lengthy injury list. Marc Bulger has broken ribs, Gus Frerotte is the starter, and Rams scouts are scouring grocery stores in Iowa for quarterback prospects. The Ravens still have a quality defense, and have assembled a team capable of beating 12 of the 16 AFC teams, but unable to beat the four that count, especially in the playoffs.

"Hey, don't knock this Raven team," says Brian Billick. "Not many teams could go to San Francisco and put nine on the board in a winning effort. Maybe the Rockies, the Phillies, or the Diamondbacks, but no one else. And Siragussa is a fine sideline reporter, if you like a little marinara sauce and garlic toast with your insight."

Baltimore will exploit the Rams' makeshift offensive line, and their physical style will overwhelm the Rams. That's not to say the Rams won't score, because they will.

"But they'll be sore," quoth the Ravens. "They'll be sore."

Steve McNair, who knows all about sore ribs, hits Todd Heap for a score, and Ed Reed scores on a 117-yard interception return. The Ravens celebrate their 23-16 win at their favorite downtown gentlemens' club, Edgar Allan Ho's.

Tennessee @ Tampa Bay (-3)

What happens when the sunglasses-wearing Jeff Fisher and his impressive mustache take the same field occupied by the visor-wearing John Gruden and his famous sneer?

"Uh, a pretty good game of Mr. Potato Head?" answers Vince Young, who earned three credit hours in a Texas anatomy class for successfully assembling said Potato Head. "Gruden and Coach Fisher are two intense dudes, so I expect them to pull out all the stops on Sunday."

Tennessee turned the ball over five times but still beat the Falcons, 20-13, while the Colts wore down the Bucs 33-14. Time of possession will be a key in this one. The Titans have a deep backfield, with LenDale White, star of television's Let's Eat a Meal, and Chris Brown sharing carries. And Young is always a threat to run when he's not throwing a six-yard dump down to a running back. The Bucs are down to their third string running back, Earnest Graham, who now, more than ever, understands the importance of being. The Titans should be able to control the tempo. Tennessee wins, 20-16.

Washington @ Green Bay (-3)

The Packers will try to make it three-for-three against NFC East teams when the Redskins invade Lambeau Field. Green Bay lost its first game last Sunday when "The Gunslinger" Brett Favre was outgunned by the "Pistol Whipper" Brian Griese, whose only other duel victory came against Rex "Pale Rider" Grossman. Now, Favre welcomes one of the NFL's young guns, Jason Campbell, who's led the Redskins to a 3-1 record.

"You know, I've lost games to some great quarterbacks," says Favre. "John Elway, Steve Young, Troy Aikman. Brian Griese doesn't belong on that list. I'm disappointed that I was shot down in a blaze of sorry. But you know me. No matter how many interceptions I throw, I'll keep shooting for the end zone. Yeah, I know I practically lost the Chicago game for us with those two picks. That one I threw to Brian Urlacher? Honestly, I didn't mean to throw it right to him. It just looked like I was giving him an easy one so I could be a part of some NFL record. But that wasn't the case. It was just a bad decision."

Campbell has been making all the right decisions for the Redskins, and has Redskins owner Daniel Snyder believing that he's actually made a good personnel decision, for once.

"You're wrong about that," says Snyder. "I'm actually paying someone to do that. As you can see, the success of the Redskins is inversely proportionate to my involvement in the team."

This should be a good defensive struggle, with the outcome hinging on turnovers. The 'Skins force three, and Shaun Suisham kicks the game-winning field goal. Washington wins, 22-19.

Carolina @ Arizona (-3 1/2)

It's a battle of backup quarterbacks at he University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, a place neither of these teams will see in February, as the Panthers and David Carr take on the Cardinals and Kurt Warner. Jake Delhomme had season-ending elbow surgery, while Matt Leinart broke his collarbone and is out indefinitely.

"This day was prophesied in the Bible," says Warner. "It's called 'The Rapture.' On this day, Kurt Warner becomes the sole quarterback of the Cardinals, and all sinners take a quick ride to the depths of Hell. Yeah, I know, that will only leave about seven or eight NFL players, and about an equal number of current Bengals and former Cowboys answering to the great Satan. I pray that Matt can convalesce in peace, and hope that he finds solace in scripture or prayer, or at least in the company of Nurse Goodbody and the countless candy stripers he demands during hospital stays. Just a warning to all ladies responsible for Matt's care: he's just got a broken collarbone, which means he's perfectly capable of his own hygiene. He'll ask for sponge baths in quantity; don't be tempted by his manipulations."

Anyway, the job is Warner's until he breaks his thumb. For the Panthers, Carr will be doing exactly what Carolina envisioned when they signed him: taking over for the injured Delhomme. Should Carr not be able to keep his hands on the wheel, the Panthers just signed Vinny Testaverde for emergency duty. Early Wednesday, the 43-year old Testeverde completed his first pass for the Panthers, a physical, then was introduced to his new teammates, who all politely called him "sir."

"I don't care who is our quarterback," says Steve Smith. "He just needs to get me the ball. I guess Carr is adequate, but I prefer my quarterback not to wear white gloves that make him look like a mime. I expect David to go into the 'man in a box' routine any minute now. I'm confident Vinny can get me the ball if he gets in. He's been around a long time, and I don't think he's ever injured himself by simply throwing the ball."

If Smith catches ten balls for 140 yards, then the Panthers can put up 27 points. Otherwise, 16 or 17 seems to be the limit. Carolina's alternating wins and losses season continues. Warner throws for 260 yards, and Larry Fitzgerald can't be stopped by the Carolina defense. Arizona wins, 24-17.

New England @ Dallas (+4 1/2)

The outcome of Sunday afternoon's monumental showdown of undefeated teams will likely hinge on the right hands of quarterbacks Tom Brady and Tony Romo. On Brady's right hand, you can place three Super Bowl rings and still have room to count the two interceptions he's thrown this year. On Romo's right hand, you can count all five of the interceptions he tossed in Monday night's game at Buffalo, and still have room to count all the Super Bowls he's won.

"Hey, this isn't a bunkhouse stampede," says Romo. "Do you see the 'American Dream' Dusty Rhodes anywhere around? No, that's because there is no 'American Dream.' It's 'America's Team.' It's not a personal duel. It's a team game. Sure, Brady can outplay me, but we could still win. And vice-versa. I don't think anybody in this locker room places personal stats above the team concept. And, if you look closely, you'll see that Terrell Owens is currently not in this locker room."

Adding to the intrigue are the mercurial wide receivers, Randy Moss and the aforementioned Owens. Moss has caught nearly everything thrown to him, and has fingers of glue, which he likes to sniff on occasion. Owens has dropped several passes, and has fingers of butter, which he uses to lube himself up before some reps of sit-ups in his driveway, or anywhere a crowd of reporters gathers.

"They say everything is bigger in Texas," says Moss. "It must be true, 'cause once this game is over, everyone will see that I'm twice the player Owens is. Somebody get me a 14-pronged pick and a 10-gallon du-rag for my Texas-sized afro."

Do you get the feeling that the Cowboys feel they need to win this game to validate their 5-0 record, while the Patriots are preparing for the game as they would any other? The Patriots won't be rattled; the Cowboys can be rattled. Brady versus Romo? Edge, Brady. Moss versus Owens? Edge, Moss. Bill Belichick versus Wade Phillips? Edge, Belichick. Result? New England 34, Dallas 28.

Oakland @ San Diego (-10)

Sunday in San Diego will see the kickoff to the "Norv Turner Job Security Bowl" in San Diego between the Chargers and Turner's former employers, the Raiders. Turner was head coach in Oakland during the 2004 and 2005 seasons, where he compiled records of 5-11 and 4-12.

"Wow! Al Davis brought me back after a 5-11 year?" says Turner. "He must have really seen something in me, besides some replacement organs. But what is worse? Keeping your job after a 5-11 year or getting a job after someone else's 14-2 year? I don't know. I do know that I've done the former way more than the latter."

The Raiders have to be the league's most surprising division leader, having raced out to a 2-2 record and a ½-game lead over their three division counterparts.

"Thank goodness for bye weeks," says Daunte Culpepper. "It looks like I'm still the quarterback of this team, while Josh McCown's foot heals and JaMarcus Russell grows out of his training pants. And it looks like I'm the frontrunner for Comeback Player of the Year, as long as the requirement is a comeback from injury and not a comeback from being a lazy bum. Otherwise, Randy Moss wins."

Chargers win, 28-20.

New Orleans @ Seattle (-6 1/2)

After a fourth-quarter meltdown that resulted in a 16-13 loss to the Panthers, the Saints are 0-4 and last in the NFC South, and paper bags throughout the city are nervous. The Saints attempted a 54-yard field with over two minutes left, and the miss gave the Panthers great field position and plenty of time to maneuver for the game-winning field goal, which John Kasay nailed as time expired.

"I haven't seen such a boneheaded decision in New Orleans since FEMA was in town," says Drew Brees. "Come on. Olindo Mare was hurt. But should that even matter? I don't care if Tom Dempsey was lining up for that kick with a complete set of feet, you still don't risk it with over two minutes left."

You're right, Drew. But would you try that kick with Mike "Canadian Missed" Vanderjagt on the field, who made his name as the most accurate kicker of non-game-winning field goals in the history of the NFL?

"Absolutely not."

The Seahawks got served with a 21-love beat down in Pittsburgh, managing only 144 yards of total offense. What was supposed to be the NFC's rebel yell in defiance of AFC superiority turned into a whimper of submission.

"Okay, so we can't handle the AFC's elite," says Shaun Alexander. "But, I'd say we're still the NFC's fourth-best team, which makes us the NFL's 14th-best team."

No team needs a win more than the Saints. The "Gumbo and 4" jokes are getting old, and no team has ever made the playoffs after an 0-5 start. Of course, no team has ever made the playoffs after a 1-4 start, but no team has ever started 1-4 and been in 2007's NFC South. Anything is possible.

Sorry, Saints. It's "Gumbo and 5." Seattle wins, 24-20.

NY Giants @ Atlanta (+3)

The Giants have won three in a row, making them the hottest team in the NFL that calls the Meadowlands home. When you talk about Eli Manning, you have to talk about his pedigree. Son of Archie Manning, brother of Peyton. When you mention "pedigree" in Atlanta, quarterbacks don't enter the conversation.

"Just a bunch of hairy, big-toothed freaks," says Joey Harrington. "And that's just the women in my family. And I thought this conversation was headed to the subject of Michael Vick. It's refreshing that people are interested in my family tree, as well."

Speaking of Vick, the NFL schedule makers obviously assumed he would be on the field, otherwise we'd be watching the New England/Dallas game in this slot, and maybe Michael Irvin could have visited the Monday Night Football booth and added a little color to the commentary of the three giggleboxes up there, Tony Kornheiser, Ron Jaworski, and Mike Tirico. Sure, it lacks the drama of the courtroom, but seeing Harrington face the Giants' rush is a lot like watching Vick face a team of prosecutors. Vick lost, and so do the Falcons. New York wins, 26-17.

Last week: 12-2 (straight up); 5-8-1 (against the spread)
Overall: 48-28 (straight up); 31-39-6 (against the spread)

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:44 AM | Comments (0)

Easterbrook, Belichick, and Fairness

It's no great insight to say that a lot of sports commentators and columnists express poorly thought-out and poorly rendered ideas. I'm no exception. What really sends me over the edge, though, is when someone being paid to offer insight to a national audience offers up an opinion that is actually fundamentally flawed.

I saw a great example of this on Monday night, which I'll get to in a second, but the standard for this phenomenon was set during the World Cup.

Every four years in this country, we set aside our normal disdain for soccer, watch it a bit, and then go on to declare how the rest of the world is wrong to like it so much.

I've carried the torch for soccer many times in this column, but one thing you must understand when trying to get into a sport for the first time is, things are going to occur that don't make a lot of sense to you, and things that seem just wrong. American readers, just try to watch a rugby match all the way through without inwardly comparing it unfavorably to football.

But just because an element of a game seems stupid to you doesn't mean it's actually stupid. During World Cup time, a player will break free with a clear one-on-one with the goalie, only to have the spoilsport side judge raise his flag and declare the offending player offside.

And commentators and pundits from across the land will huff and puff and say, "This is why soccer is so boring! There shouldn't be an offsides rule in soccer!"

And soccer fans from across the globe (and knowledgeable ones in the U.S.) will just shake their heads at our ignorance.

Having no offside rule would have the opposite effect the pundit wishes for. Whatever extent that soccer does possess some excitement and offense is owed to the offside rule.

You see, if there were no offside rule to protect them, the fullbacks (defense) would have to stay back near goal all the time, so there would be no breakaways. The offside rule allows the fullbacks to venture up the field, which not only gives the opposing team a chance at a breakaway coming back the other way (if he times his run just right so as to not be offside), but creates a situation where protected fullbacks can venture all the way up the opposing half, creating a 10-man offensive attack.

Monday's flawed opinion comes regarding the American version of football, from Tony Kornheiser, and whomever wrote the game "glog" at CBS Sports.

The new craze in the NFL is, if your opponent is lining up for a game-winning field goal, call timeout just before the ball is snapped. If it works perfectly, the kicker will kick a field goal, only to have it nullified because of the timeout. Sufficiently iced and shaken, the kicker will (theoretically) miss the followup attempt. It worked for Denver against Oakland, Oakland against Cleveland, and although Buffalo attempted it against Dallas, Nick Folk made both the first attempt and the do-over.

Tony Kornheiser and the anonymous CBS glogger don't like this (very slight bit of) gamesmanship one bit, and have called for the NFL to "change the rule."

First off, this fad will come to a screeching halt the second a kicker misses the first attempt and makes the second. It's gonna happen, and no one will ever try it again, at least not until the first batch was forgotten about. So goes the groupthink of the NFL.

Secondly ... "change the rule?" Change what rule? The rule that says you can call timeout before the snap?

That's obviously out of the question, even if you limited the rule to the last two minutes of the game and only when you line up for a field goal attempt. The offense could too easily exploit it by rushing out a field goal team by surprise on third down. What, the defense doesn't have the right personnel on the field? Too bad! They're not allowed to call time out here anymore.

Better yet, just line up in field goal formation on every down, and fake it each time! Peyton Manning could be your holder and Joseph Addai could be your "kicker."

So, seems to me we have no choice but to allow this non-travesty. You want to do something about it? Practice a quick count with your field goal team.

Speaking of injustices and improprieties, real and imagined, I thoroughly enjoyed reading Lee Ann Schreiber, of ESPN, taking Gregg Easterbrook, of ESPN, to task. Schreiber is the "ombudsman" of ESPN.com, and makes a lot of interesting points in her latest piece.

The main thrust of the article is summed up by the headline ("Fed fast food of opinion, ESPN audience starves for reported fact") and is nothing groundbreaking, but Schrieber illustrates the point in thought-provoking ways. Remember when Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy singled out and excoriated a beat writer for criticizing one of his players? Seems like the consensus was against Gundy on that one. Lord knows I sided with the writer. But did I read the article in question? Well, no. I didn't. And to what extent did the writer, Jenni Carlson, back up her accusations that the Cowboys' QB was a malingerer and a softie? With "facts" couched in phrases like, "If you believe the rumors and the rumblings...", "Tile up the back stories told on the sly over the past few years...", "Word is...", and "Insiders say..."

Oh no. No, no, no. Had no idea. That, right there, is BS. Anyone can use those sorts of phrases to say anything. I'm sorry, Mike Gundy, you are right. That is indeed garbage.

So why did I, and most of the sportswriting world, side with the reporter? Schreiber wonders, too. She has a few ideas ("Because they want to be allowed to take those same liberties? Because they didn't bother to read the column? Because all that mattered was milking that videotape for a week's worth of commentary? Because the boundaries between fact, opinion, and rumor have become so porous that nobody noticed rumor crossing the border with a fake passport?"), but I think it's none of those things. It's because, just like in any profession, sportswriters and journalists feel a kinship and tend to defend each other and close ranks. That simple.

Then Schreiber sets her sights on Easterbrook. No one has beaten the drum louder against the Patriots and their videotape indiscretions than Easterbrook, but Schreiber has a problem with the convictions coming before the evidence. We don't know how much of a competitive balance the Patriots truly gained with their cheating, and we don't know the full extent of the cheating.

She also doesn't care for a metaphor Easterbrook uses, comparing the incident to Watergate and Belichick to Nixon:

"And feel free to custom design the opinion of your choice out of rumor, speculation, and twisted logic, as Tuesday Morning Quarterback Easterbrook did, not once, but twice, in manufacturing extended false analogies between Richard Nixon's Watergate and Bill Belichick's tapegate, as if stonewalling to the press is the same as stonewalling to congressional investigators, as if violating a league rule is the same as violating federal law, as if he didn't promptly hand over to the commissioner all the material that was asked of him and accept his punishment."

She also cleverly captures Easterbrook, defending his accusations, being less than frank himself: "I had a reasonable reason to think that the parties involved were trying to keep something off the public record that should be on it. Since I can't get them to answer the questions, I don't know whether they are hiding something or just being weird and evasive. Believe me, I'm working on it, I know some things that are not in that column, but I don't have them on the record yet. I hope to be publishing proof of all those things in great detail."

Emphasis mine. You damn well better, Gregg. Otherwise, you're just tilting at windmills in the same amateurish way Jenni Carlson did. I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard of a rumor from an "extremely reliable" source about a blockbuster trade that is simply going through the final paperwork that never happens.

That said, I part ways with Schreiber on the appropriateness of his metaphor use. Easterbrook's job is sports. ESPN's job is sports. Sports are pointless without integrity. Of course major sporting scandals are not as important as political ones, but you have to at least grant the metaphors if it's within the raison d'etre of your job, in whose service you are employing the metaphor. In other words, in the context and microcosm of ESPN and subject matter they cover, it really doesn't get bigger than Belichick cheating. Anyway, since when do both sides of a metaphor have to match to scale?

I also think Schreiber, as well as a lot of well-meaning sports fans and ESPN consumers, lose sight of why ESPN stirs up so much bombast and controversy. It's because that's what maximizes their profits. To begrudge ESPN's modus operandi is to begrudge capitalism itself. They know they have you, the hardcore sports fan, locked up. Where else are you going to go to watch all the sporting events the ESPN family of networks show?

So they need to try to make money off the casual fan instead. Your girlfriend won't be pulled in by "Coming up next, Ron Jaworski breaks down the Vikings secondary!" but she might be by "Should the New England Patriots be forced to fold and Bill Belichick sent to prison? Gregg Easterbrook explains why he thinks so, after the break!"

The solution? Consumers will have to start rejecting sensationalism (never going to happen) or you will have to boycott ESPN. If you want to get ESPN's attention, though, you'll have to make that boycott pretty big.

Posted by Kevin Beane at 11:43 AM | Comments (4)

October 10, 2007

An Open Letter to USF

Dear USF Bulls,

My name is Ryan Day and I will cry tears of joy if you win the national championship.

I know I'm not alone. There are people all around the country that are rooting for you even though half of them have no idea what city the University of South Florida is in.

There are probably a lot of things the people of this country don't know about you Bulls.

They might not know that you've been playing Division I-A football for less time than our current president has been running the country. They might not know that your first team meeting was under the shade of a tree because USF didn't have any proper football facilities.

They might not know that you don't have your own stadium and have to share Raymond James Stadium with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. They might not know that only 41,000 get to see your home games because only the lower half of the stadium is opened.

They might not know that 77,000 students attend the University of South Florida.

They might not know that you have never lost a home opener. Or that you've achieved a Top 25 ranking faster than any other school. Ever. Since becoming a bowl-eligible Division I-A member in 2001, you Bulls were ranked after 104 AP polls. Boise State had the previous record, getting ranked after 115 AP polls.

USF is also the quickest team to make it into the Top 10. Just by the way.

They might not know that in 2005, the first year you played in the Big East, you were invited to play in your first bowl game, the Meineke Car Care Bowl. They also might not know that the very next year in your second ever bowl game you captured a victory over East Carolina University.

They might not know that quarterback Matt Grothe was named Big East Rookie of the Year last year.

Or that the Green and Gold of South Florida have never been shut out.

And that they had a 21-game winning streak at home from 2000-2003.

People may not know that this season, this number five ranking in the country, is bigger than just a nice, neat little story about a small college having big dreams. This is about securing contracts to play the Miami's and the Florida's and the FSU's year after year. This is about getting the funding necessary to recruit and advertise and build a football program. This is about respect and pride and showing a national media that gave them very little chance to even break the Top 25 that they can hang with anybody in the country any week of the year.

This is about a university establishing itself as a national powerhouse. This is about the University of South Florida putting themselves on the map. This is history, folks. This is the year people will point to when beginning the story of Bulls football.

USF Bulls are we,
We hold our standard upright and free.
For Green and Gold we stand united.
Our beacon lighted and noble to see.
USF Bulls are we,
For USF will always be.
With all our might we fight the battle
here and now, and we will win the victory!
(shout!) S-O-U-T-H F-L-O-R-I-D-A
South Florida, South Florida
Go Bulls!

Go Bulls.

Posted by Ryan Day at 11:54 AM | Comments (10)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 30

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jeff Gordon — Gordon completed the sweep of Talladega by laying low for the majority of the race and charging late to make a final lap pass on Jimmie Johnson. It was Gordon's 12th restrictor plate win, and pushed him back into the points lead, where he holds a nine-point cushion on Johnson.

"I moved to the front faster than Jacques Villeneuve moved to the back," says Gordon. "And to think, some of these NASCAR drivers, myself included, had the audacity to question Villeneuve's competency at superspeedway speeds. I guess we forgot that not only is Jacques a Formula 1 champion, but so was his father. And he's won the Indianapolis 500. So maybe we need to just do what Rihanna says and 'Shut Up and Drive.'"

2. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson positioned himself in a dangerous spot at Talladega with one lap remaining: in the lead. After lagging at the back for most of the day, Johnson bolted to the lead on lap 182 and held it until his teammate Jeff Gordon made the race-winning pass midway through the final lap.

"I know Dale Earnhardt, Jr.'s fans refrained from tossing beer cans at Jeff," says Johnson, "but I was hoping my Lowe's fans would pick up the slack and sling some hardware at the No. 24 car. We've got a rivalry brewing, and there may be an incident in the future of this Chase to put that rivalry over the top."

3. Clint Bowyer — Bowyer avoided the troubles that plagued his Richard Childress teammates and finished 11th at Talladega to remain within shouting distance of Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson. Bowyer is in third, 63 points out of first.

"Don't call me the 'third man' in a 'two-man race,'" pleads Bowyer. "Any man who drives the Jack Daniels car always has a 'shot' at the Nextel Cup."

4. Tony Stewart — Stewart found out who his friends were when he pulled out of line late in the race, hoping to get some help. He didn't, but fought his way back and pushed Jeff Gordon to the lead and finished ninth. Stewart remains fourth in the points, 154 out of first.

"Two weeks ago at Kansas, I found out I didn't have any friends among NASCAR officials," says Stewart. "At Talladega, I found out I didn't have any friends among drivers. I guess 'found out' is not the right set of words. I think it was 'confirmed' that I didn't have any friends anywhere."

5. Carl Edwards — Edwards finished 14th in the UAW-Ford 500, the best finish among Roush Fenway drivers. He moves up one spot to sixth in the points, but is a distant 205 points out of the lead.

"What an improbable day in Alabama," says Edwards. "First, Michael Waltrip wins the pole, which is practically a miracle. Then, Jacques Villeneuve survives the entire race, which we NASCAR snobs thought was a miracle. Then, Jeff Gordon wins the race, and only has one beer can thrown at him. That's a miracle. I think that's attributable to confusion among Dale Earnhardt, Jr. fans about what they should actually throw. And when Junior fans think, they usually run out of time."

6. Kurt Busch — Busch wasn't victimized by any of Sunday's crashes and finished seventh at Talladega, but still lost 38 points to the lead despite gaining two places. He is is ninth, 215 out.

"I haven't seen such orderly, single-file lines since kindergarten," says Busch. "And, despite my boyish looks and lack of facial hair, it's been about 25 years since I was in kindergarten. Trust me when I say the rest of my body had to grow in to my ears."

7. Kevin Harvick — Harvick lost a cylinder, just one of the many engine problems that affected DEI and RCR cars at Talladega. Harvick stayed on the lead lap and finished 20th, and is 202 out of first in the points.

"The DEI-RCR engine collaborative had a rough day," says Harvick. "I think our cars left more parts on the track than those involved in all the wrecks."

8. Denny Hamlin — Hamlin recorded his first top-10 finish of the Chase, leading the most laps and finishing fourth at Talladega. The result moved him from last to ninth in the points, where he trails Jeff Gordon by 262 points.

"A couple of DNF's for Gordon," says Hamlin, "and four or five failed inspections by Jimmie Johnson, and we're right back in this."

9. Kyle Busch — Busch's No. 5 Chevrolet was destroyed in a lap 44 crash triggered by a mechanical failure on the No. 43 car of Bobby Labonte, a pileup that also demolished the car of Matt Kenseth. Busch finished 36th, and fell 260 behind points leader Jeff Gordon.

"I really feel I could have been a factor at the end," says Busch, "or at least made it interesting. With me on the track, I give the other drivers choices. Do they want to work with a current teammate, a former teammate, someone they dislike, or their brother. With my brother Kurt, the latter two apply."

10. Martin Truex, Jr. — Truex suffered engine problems and finished 42nd, falling 300 points out of the Chase lead.

"And all this time I thought Teresa Earnhardt was sabotaging only Dale, Jr.'s engines," laments Truex. "I guess she's treating me like a stepchild, too."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:47 AM | Comments (0)

October 9, 2007

Top 10 Thoughts of the Weekend

1) When Cupcakes Go Really Well

Kansas has been struggling the last few years, so to build his team's confidence (and take the easiest route to bowl eligible status), Mark Mangino scheduled four rent-a-win games to start the season in Lawrence. The Jayhawks did their job, winning all four games by a combined 214-23 before last Saturday's showdown with Kansas State. In a back-and-forth game, K-State took a 24-21 lead and many thought that KU would fold on the spot. Since the Wildcats had played much tougher competition, such as Auburn and Texas, they'd handle the pressure late the best, right? Wrong!

When you're a program used to losing, cupcake games can be the best medicine. The Jayhawks were the more calm, confident team in the fourth quarter, shutting down the Wildcats while sophomore QB Todd Reesing marched his troops easily downfield on the same K-State defense that Colt McCoy and Texas had fits against. The 30-24 Jayhawk victory was the first in Manhattan since 1989, and gives KU more confidence than ever heading into the second half of their schedule.

2) When Cupcakes Go Really Bad

Arkansas, fresh off of a 66-7 pounding of North Texas, marched down to Little Rock to take on FCS (I-AA) cupcake Chattanooga. The Mocs were 1-3, fresh off a beatdown by The Citadel, so many believed this would be over by half-time. Instead, Arkansas fumbled their first snap for a safety, played lethargic the entire game, and escaped with the ugliest 34-15 win one will ever see in college football.

This only cranks up the fire under Houston Nutt's hot seat, but this game hurt Arkansas RB Darren McFadden the most. There's no question that McFadden is the best running back in college football, and no doubt he's the most exciting player in the game. However, McFadden only rushed for 122 yards against the Mocs on 25 carries. Part of the reason was due to severely bruised ribs, but the other part was due to the return of a vanilla Razorback offensive scheme.

When you've got a player of McFadden's caliber in the backfield, why on Earth do you keep running him on draw plays up the middle, especially when every defense in the country is stacking the lines to stop him? Houston Nutt chased off the creative Gus Malzahn, who was last year's offensive coordinator, to bring David Lee from the Dallas Cowboys over to fix a non-existent passing game. So far, the passing game is still weak, the WildHog (formally the Wildcat) has hardly been used at all, and many Hog fans have to be asking Nutt the same question: "You chased off Gus Malzahn for this?!"

3) LSU's the Real Deal

Give LSU all the credit in the world for their fourth quarter comeback last weekend to beat Florida. While the Gator defense was outstanding for three quarters, Les Miles believed in his team late, going for fourth down successfully five times. Jacob Hester proved to be a gritty, gutsy running back for the Bayou Bengals, and while Florida did everything possible to shut down Glenn Dorsey, the Tiger D rose to the occasion and held Tim Tebow in check when it counted. Florida deserves credit for an outstanding performance, but LSU showed the hearts of champions late, and with the raucous Tiger Stadium crowd behind them, they proved that, for now, they deserve to be the top-ranked team in the nation.

And on a side note, if you're going to play LSU, you've got to hope for one of those 11:30 AM kickoffs in Baton Rouge. The last place on Earth an opposing coach would want to be is on the sidelines at Tiger Stadium at night in front of 92,000 of the craziest fans you'll ever meet. Forget the "12th Man," Baton Rouge at night is like playing against 14 men. Seriously.

4) Another Red-Hot Tiger Team

I thought Missouri would be the upset winner of the Big 12 this season. So far, that pick is looking pretty good. The Tigers are the real deal, as they showed last weekend in their 41-6 thrashing of Nebraska. The Huskers were completely dominated by a Missouri team who was on a mission to prove they belong in the upper tier of Big 12 football. Let's just say ... mission accomplished.

Chase Daniel is outstanding for Mizzou, as he consistently found the right receiver all night, and you can't say enough about WR Martin Rucker and TE Chase Coffman. All the pieces seem to be in place in Columbia, but the true test comes this weekend at Oklahoma. If Missouri goes to Norman and wins, they'll have to be placed in the national title picture.

5) Sure, You Know App. State, But...

The best team you've probably never heard of rests in the Hawkeye State. Northern Iowa, ranked second in the last FCS (I-AA) poll, is 5-0 and cruising through the Gateway Football Conference. The Panthers rush for 215.6 yards a game, pass for 231.8 yards a game, and have outscored their opponents to the tune of 164-64, including a 24-13 win at Iowa State. Given the struggles of the Cyclones, as well as the Iowa Hawkeyes, one can make a solid argument that the Panthers are the best football team in the state.

6) The Unheralded Coaching Job of the Midseason

I don't think a lot of people would've seen Mississippi State as a 4-2 team, especially when the Bulldogs had won only three games each of the last three seasons. But Sylvester Croom kept saying the ship was being turned in the right direction in Starkville, and for now, it appears he's dead on. What's been most impressive is that MSU has won despite injuries to QBs Michael Henig and Josh Riddell, putting a lot of pressure on freshman Wesley Carroll to lead the Bulldog offense.

Thankfully for Carroll, he's got Anthony Dixon as a solid weapon at tailback, and the State D, which struggled in their 45-0 season opening loss to LSU, but is progressing rapidly. DB Derek Pegues is definitely a candidate for All-SEC Honors, and though the Bulldogs have a tough road ahead of them schedule-wise, there is reason to believe Mississippi State could end up bowl eligible at the end of the season.

7) Is USF Really a Top-Five Team?

Anyone who saw USF struggle past Florida Atlantic has to be shaking their heads at the sight of the Bulls being ranked fifth in the country. No doubt, South Florida is a solid football team. However, I'd have them more around the No. 8-12 range instead of No. 5.

The fact of the matter is this: the BCS has further corrupted the media and coaches polls. In their zeal to see their beloved conference send their champion to the title game, the polls have seen ascensions and declines like never before. How, for example, do you explain South Florida jumping 12 spots in the polls for beating West Virginia. 12! I just don't buy into that, and when USF struggled as much as they did against the Owls, it just doesn't add up as a performance worthy of a top-five team.

8) Attendance Facts/Figures

The FCS Delaware Blue Hens are averaging 21,996 fans for every football game. That average is better than all but one Sun Belt team (Arkansas State has averaged 22,620 fans). Needless to say, it doesn't help the Sun Belt's argument to be classified as a I-A conference when seven of their eight schools aren't beating the Blue Hens. Florida International has the honor of having the most pitiful average in the conference: 8,962 fans at the midway point of the season.

In defense of one Sun Belt team, though, I'll say this. If you're in the southeast corner of Alabama, go catch a Troy game. The Trojans are currently averaging 21,188 fans, thanks in part to a good crowd watching Troy slaughter Oklahoma State. Troy's a pretty good football team, and ticket prices there have to be pretty affordable, so I'd encourage a lot more fans to go to Movie Gallery Stadium and check out the Trojans when they're in town.

9) If I Had a Heisman Ballot at This Point...

I'd still put Arkansas RB Darren McFadden as my top pick. The guy is the real deal. He has no help from his quarterback, and every defense he faces stacks the line heavily with the one goal of stopping him. However, he's still managed to go over 100 yards every game, including an inspired 195 yards against Alabama. This week's showdown against Auburn will be huge for McFadden's chances, but as for now, he's my top pick.

Second on my list: Boston College QB Matt Ryan, who has done wonders with the Eagles.

Third on my list: Missouri QB Chase Daniel, the top signal-caller in the Big 12.

10) Top Three Games This Weekend

Missouri vs. Oklahoma: This one just screams instant classic. I have a feeling it will be a high-scoring, last-second shootout that a lot of people will be talking about.

LSU vs. Kentucky: Andre Woodson struggled against South Carolina, but gets a chance to redeem himself at home against the best defense in America. Has there been a bigger game in Lexington in recent memory?

Purdue vs. Michigan: I have a feeling that the Boilers are better than what they showed against Ohio State. A surging Michigan team will have all they can handle, and I think this could end in a fantastic finish, as well.

Posted by Jean Neuberger at 11:56 AM | Comments (1)

In the Box: NFL Week 5

A few lines I wish I would have written in the preseason, because that would have made me a genius:

"Kurt Warner will be the starting QB on the first-place Arizona Cardinals by Week 6."

"The Saints are due for a major implosion. I bet they don't even average 15 points per game."

"1,600 yards for Travis Henry? Try six games and a one-year suspension. Dude's got more baby's mamas than brain cells."

"The Colts don't need Bob Sanders, Marvin Harrison, or Joseph Addai. Matt Giordano, Anthony Gonzalez, and Kenton Keith will be just fine."

"I know USC is good and all, but I just have a feeling about Stanford this year."

"Don't be surprised to see Colorado make at least the NLCS in the next three years."

(Actually, I did write that last one. Haha. Aren't I great?)

(Whore!)

Anyway...

Pittsburgh 21, Seattle 0: Welcome to this week's episode of "How to Lose an NFL Road Game," starring Mike Holmgren and Matt Hasselbeck.

After getting the ball on the Steelers' 46 in a scoreless game, Seattle picked up gains of 7, 2, and 2 for a first down at the Pittsburgh 35. The Seattle defense had forced three three-and-outs to open the game and special teams had set up the field position. On the road against a defense like Pittsburgh, the Seattle offense had to come up with points. From the 35, they were in field goal range. The only thing they couldn't do was lose yards.

False start on Deion Branch. Damn it!

Incomplete.

Shaun Alexander for 2.

Third-and-13 from the 38. Hasselbeck sacked for –7. Fourth-and-20. Punt.

Aaaaaaa...

Fantasy Impact: It's come down to this for the Seahawks: if they're at home against a weak opponent, they're great. If it's a tough game on the road, forget about it.

San Diego 41, Denver 3: Wow. Never in a million years did I think the Broncos would go down like that at home. I don't even know how to process this. Are the Broncos really that bad? Are the Chargers really that good? This is nothing like we've seen from either team so far. Denver's next game after the bye is a Sunday night home game against Pittsburgh. What are we supposed to think about that matchup? I'm highly confused.

Fantasy Impact: Lost in the final score and highlights is the fact LaDainian Tomlinson had another sub-par game with only 67 yards on 21 carries. He did have some big catches (3 for 73), but this offense isn't going to be consistently good until they can lineup Tomlinson and put on a smash-mouth drive.

New England 34, Cleveland 17: These Browns are fighters. They were over-matched fighters in this game, but they showed a lot of heart. They're going to beat Miami next week. And if Brady Quinn turns out to be as good as he looked this preseason, and Derek Anderson takes the eventual demotion to No. 2 with class, this team could contend in the AFC North as soon as next year.

Fantasy Impact: Jason Wright's the man for the Browns if Jamal Lewis doesn't play next week with an injured foot. With a good (and getting better) offensive line in Cleveland, Wright could put up solid numbers against the 'Fins.

Carolina 16, New Orleans 13: You know when you think you've made a wrong turn, but you're not sure, so you keep going, hoping you recognize something, then you realize you've definitely gone the wrong way, then instead of turning around you try to cut through an area you don't know, then you get completely lost, then you get carjacked and left in a dangerous neighborhood with no way of getting out?

That's the Saints.

Fantasy Impact: The top three biggest busts in fantasy this season: Drew Brees.

(It's not all his fault. I've personally seen him robbed of 3 TDs, two drops by Reggie Bush, who's been playing stupid since the preseason, and the illegal formation call that took one off the board against the Panthers.)

(Oh, and Matt Moore is a rookie from Oregon State, just in case you were wondering. He was undrafted.)

Arizona 34, St. Louis 31: Somebody tie a black ribbon around the Arch. The Rams are dead.

Fantasy Impact: It was Kurt Warner who finally killed them.

Washington 34, Detroit 3: The Week 6 bye couldn't come at a better time for the Lions. They got worked every which from Sunday on Sunday, which makes no sense, but makes the point: They got their asses handed to them. And if they had to go into the meat of their schedule now, 3-2 might turn to 3-11 before you know it. As it is, maybe they have a shot to regroup before Tampa in Week 7, followed by the Bears (road), Broncos, Cardinals (road), Giants, Packers, Vikings (road), Cowboys, and Chargers (road).

(Yeesh.)

Fantasy Impact: You know your defense is dominating when Sean Taylor and LaRon Landy only have to make 4 tackles combined. This defense is playing extremely well on all three levels, and that means Green Bay isn't going to be able to run the ball worth a damn next week.

Jacksonville 17, Kansas City 7: There aren't a whole lot of absolutes in this game, but one of them is this: you do not win games rushing a total of 10 times for ten yards. It just can't be done.

Fantasy Impact: Whether it's Damon Huard or Brodie Croyle at QB next week against the Bengals, Tony Gonzalez, Dwayne Bowe, and Larry Johnson are all good starts.

And now a tribute to legendary (and now dead) mime Marcel Marceau:

Baltimore 9, San Francisco 7:

Fantasy Impact:

Tennessee 20, Atlanta 13: I know a lot of the fans have a problem with the way things are going in Atlanta, but I actually think new head coach Bobby Petrino is doing a good job. He's made Joey Harrington respectable in a new offense (15th in QB rating despite the stink bomb on Sunday, with perhaps a pre-mature call to the bullpen). His defense forced 5 turnovers from a Titans offense that wrecked New Orleans just two weeks prior. And if it wasn't for Wayne Gandy's disastrous injury toward the end, they might have pulled this game out.

That said, the Falcons' run/pass ratio is all out of whack (164 pass to 124 run). And the most explosive guy on the offense, Jerious Norwood, is averaging fewer than 10 touches on offense per game. That's not nearly enough. And now with Gandy out for the year, they need the run game even more than ever.

The bottom line for the Falcons is this is still a team poisoned by Michael Vick. The entire organization was built around one guy, and that guy is gone. Nobody should have expected things to go smoothly in the first post-Vick year. But I see hope in the darkness. And Petrino's the one holding the flashlight. (TE Alge Crumpler might do well to remember that fact.)

Fantasy Impact: Other than the Tennessee defense, which is just nasty, there's not a single reliable fantasy starter on either roster. Vince Young will have some great games. And he'll put together some real bad ones like yesterday's no-TD, 3-INT mess. If you can't trust him at home against the Falcons, how can you trust him at Tampa or Houston, their next two games?

New Your Giants 34, New York Jets 25: As a St. Louis Cardinals fan, let me make this proposal to Yankees fans:

Tony LaRussa for Joe Torre.

Think about it. It'd be perfect. Tony LaRussa's the third-time winningest manager in MLB history. The Yanks aren't getting anybody with even close to that pedigree if Torre walks/gets pushed out the door. LaRussa goes to the biggest stage with the highest payroll, from managing Albert Pujols to managing Derek Jeter, and will be the perfect anti-hero for the NY media. Plus, LaRussa's ever-loyal pitching coach, Dave Duncan, gets to go from managing his son Chris to managing his other son, Shelley.

Meanwhile, Joe Torre gets to retire in the city where he had the best years of his playing career and some of his worst as a manager, from Jeter to Pujols, and the St. Louis media will seem like a Booster's Club compared to the vitriol of New York. Cards fans are nervous right now. We've gotten used to a certain standard of excellence. Announcement of Torre as the new manager would be greeted with open arms and exultation.

One other benefit: Torre vs. Lou Pinella in the Cards/Cubs rivalry.

It works for both teams. It works for both managers. It works for local and national media. There's nothing not to love.

Fantasy Impact: Opening Day with Joe Torre back in Cardinals' red ... I'd pay big money to see that.

Chicago 27, Green Bay 20: Peter King wasted his "Goat of the Week" award by moralizing against Texans DT Travis Johnson, so I'll award the real "Goat of the Week": Green Bay rookie WR James Jones. His two fumbles lost the game.

Sorry, kid. You can't go losing games for Brett Favre. It's against the rules.

Fantasy Impact: Don't let the win fool you. To paraphrase Jules Winnfield, this Bears team is still pretty far from freaking okay. Green Bay finished with 439 yards on offense. They averaged 5.5 per carry on the ground. Cedric Benson is still a bust and no Bears WR had more than one catch. This Packers defense is good, but it's not the Steel Curtain. The Bears are still very much in trouble.

Houston 22, Miami 19: I thought new Dolphins coach Cam Cameron was looney for running Ronnie Brown so hard in the preseason, but it is paying dividends. Brown hasn't been this good since Auburn. Just think about how good he'd be with a good offensive line and steady quarterback play.

Speaking of the Dolphins offensive line, rookie center Samson Setele is a good one. If you watch a lot of Brown's runs, you'll see Big Sampson somewhere in the picture.

Fantasy Impact: Kick. Kick. Kick. Kick. Kick. Kick. Kick. Kick. Kick.

1. Matt Schaub needs Andre Johnson back.

2. John Beck will end up with the most wins of any starting Miami QB in 2007. And it won't be more than three.

Indianapolis 33, Tampa Bay 14: This might be the best Colts team yet. I really thought the Bucs would give them more of a game, especially considering the absence of Sanders, Harrison, and Addai (not to mention Freddie Keiaho). I can't wait for their next four after their bye: @ Jacksonville, @ Carolina. New England, @ San Diego.

Fantasy Impact: I hope you enjoyed the Kenton Keith Era as much as I did. 28 carries for 121 yards and 2 TDs, plus 5 catches for 37 yards. And he saved my fantasy season...

Dallas 25, Buffalo 24: ...along with Nick Folk, the rookie from the University of Arizona (Go Cats!) who kicked four field goals, including his career long from 53 with zeroes on the clock — twice!

You've got to feel for the Bills and their fans. That was as brutal a loss as you're going to see. I'm sure Bill Simmons will give us a categorization.

Fantasy Impact:

WARNING: Personal fantasy football story ahead. If these things bother you, please skip ahead to the tag line.

So I start the game last night down 18 to my buddy Todd. He's got Tony Romo. I've got Patrick Crayton and Folk. I'm not even following the score. I'm toast, 1-4 and buried.

Then Romo throws a pick. And another. And another. And another. It's incredible. I'm trying not to get excited. The Cowboys are a second-half team. Folk and Crayton aren't doing anything to close the gap.

Third quarter. Field goal Folk. +3.

Fourth quarter. Field goal Folk. +3.

Romo fumbles. –2. I've got to be getting close.

Dallas interception goes back into the Bills' red zone. No touchdown no touchdown no touchdown. PICK! Holy cow! Is this really happening?

Down 8, Romo driving for the tie. A touchdown to anybody but Crayton and I'm done. It's got to go to Crayton. Please throw it to Crayton.

Touchdown, Crayton!

Down 2. Two-point attempt. A completion to anybody but Crayton and I'm done. I pray the attempt fails so they can recover the onside kick and kick the field goal.

Attempt fails! They recover the onside! During the review of T.O.'s 18th drop, I finally check the score (I was avoiding it because I didn't want the jinx, but I had to know the stakes). I'm down 1. Folk makes it, I win. He misses it, I lose. The perfect fantasy football moment.

It's up and good!

I freaking hate that timeout rule! They've got to do something about that.

It's up again...

GOOD!

A hero is born. A season is saved. A city's heart collectively crushed.

Life in the NFL.

Seth Doria is a freelance writer based out of St. Louis. For the only daily column that mixes sports, politics, and entertainment news in one, visit The Left Calf.

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 11:30 AM | Comments (0)

No More Dead Men Walking

Nothing serves notice that we've embarked on a new season better than a reinvented Curt Schilling holding Angels bats in check with mocked ease, or the tandem of David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez launching back-to-back home runs through the California sky. Put them together and the Boston Red Sox have kicked off the 2007 playoffs on a decidedly clearer mission than with which they ended their regular season.

Only two weeks ago, Red Sox Nation was enduring comparisons to the 1951 Brooklyn Dodgers, who gave away a 13-game lead, the most philanthropic in Major League history, but just one larger than Boston's advantage back on July 5. And to the 1934 New York Giants and 1938 Pittsburgh Pirates, the only teams to lose divisions after leading by seven games during September before the Mets joined them last Sunday. Around The Hub, it was free game to openly discuss 1978 and speculate on what it would mean for New York to win the East. After all, only one team since Abner Doubleday ever dug out of deeper than the 14½–game hole facing the Yankees on May 29, that being the old Boston Braves way back in 1914, who trailed by as many as 15 games.

In retrospect, this year's Red Sox did not make things easy for themselves. Once they reached their high-water mark in May, their 2007 season was by-and-large 1978-proofed. But a 54-48 record over the next 102 games — capped by a three-game sweep in Toronto that left them a scant game and a half on top by mid-September — fueled fears of its reincarnation. For most of the summer, the Red Sox displayed all the enthusiasm of a shackled Sean Penn as they made their way down the bright corridor to a fate of historical proportion. Meanwhile, the Nation could only console itself from behind the glass pane like a helpless Susan Sarandon, clutching their wild card binky with ever-tighter fists. Fortunately, the now kinder and gentler ghost of the Bambino showed its mercy for the second time in three years.

Nevertheless, as Boston stood on the threshold of this postseason, considerable conjecture arose over which team would greet the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim last Wednesday night — the invincible boys of spring or the dead men of summer. Yet, if history has taught us anything, it's that the postseason never tips its hand until that first Josh Beckett 94-mph two-seamer is thrown.

Take last year. The Detroit Tigers' stretch drive made up in superlatives what it lacked in intensity or success. Losers of 31 of their final 50 regular season games and the AL Central after being swept by Kansas City, they may well have been the deadest on arrival of any postseason team ever. Nor were their eventual World Series opponents better. The St. Louis Cardinals closed out at 25-36 and, with only 83 wins on the season, were the uninvited guests who assumed the throne.

By contrast, the Minnesota Twins certainly expected an invitation to last year's World Series. Thieves of the AL Central on the last day of the regular season after Detroit held it nearly wire to wire, the Twins played a major league-best 71-33 since June 7. And their efforts were handsomely rewarded with the greatest postseason benny of all — the Oakland A's, baseball's Black Monday. Back in 2001, after a 66-18 bull run to capture the AL West and gain a 2-0 advantage in the ALDS, the A's crashed and burned. So, too, in 2003 when their 83-33 regular season finish and another 2-0 ALDS lead fell carnage to the bears. Yet, in 2006, the A's managed to avert their historical tendencies, sweeping the Twins in three.

The 2007 divisional series may not have had the shock factor of last year, but they provided their share of surprises. Boston awoke in convincing fashion after a lackadaisical four months while the Angels, who managed only a 14-14 record in September, hit the snooze alarm once too often. Meanwhile, the Yankees, who finished 73-39 since May 29, 57-27 since July 1, and 23-9 since August 27, seemingly earned this year's door prize with the Cleveland Indians, whom they swept in the 2007 regular season. But the Indians, who also closed strong by winning 27 of their final 37, executed a full table-turn on the Pinstripes, unceremoniously dumping them in the Bronx on Monday night and depriving the networks of another fabled Red Sox/Yankees matchup.

In the National League, the Philadelphia Phillies' wild 13-4 finish that capped a seven-game comeback over the last 18 days of the season fizzled when they were swept by the hotter Colorado Rockies, winners of 14 of their final 15, including a tie-breaker last Monday night. They'll meet the Arizona Diamondbacks, who shook off a 19-19 finish to sweep America's sweetheart, the Chicago Cubs. The trends heavily suggest the Rockies will make it to their first World Series, but home field advantage in this matchup is enhanced by climatic considerations like no other before it and Colorado will have to win in the desert.

For now, the Red Sox, along with the rest of this year's League Championship Series field, can enjoy the extended celebration offered by an unprecedented layover. Meanwhile, the intelligentsia who've stood graveside through the last fortnight ready to empty shovels over Boston's final resting place may have a wait. Who knows? It wasn't that long ago when the 2005 White Sox watched their own sizeable division lead — 15 games in early August — dwindle to 1½ in the final week of September, only to run an 11-1 postseason. That Red Sox casket that lay in state may be empty after all.

Posted by Bob Ekstrom at 11:00 AM | Comments (0)

October 8, 2007

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Consider this a warning to all of the NCAA's juniors and redshirt sophomores considering declaring early for the NFL draft next spring: Be careful what you wish for. The NFL is a brutal place.

Just ask Trent Green. The Dolphins' QB, who had his cerebellum turned into scrambled eggs last season, moved heaven and Earth to get a new start in Miami. Sunday, Green took a vicious knee to the head and suffered yet another concussion while trying to block on a broken play. And to literally add insult to injury, Houston defensive tackle Travis Johnson drew a 15-yard penalty for taunting the less-than-conscious remains of Green.

Just ask Matt Leinart. The 2004 Heisman winner, fresh off a week filled with barbs from critics about his comments railing against Arizona's QB rotation, is done for the year after breaking his collarbone against the Rams. Many questioned Leinart's decision to stay in school for his senior year, but at least he didn't have to take shots from guys like Will Witherspoon in his ballroom dancing class.

Just ask Reggie Bush. Leinart's teammate and Heismanic peer, Bush is facing an 0-4 start in New Orleans and whispers that maybe that "h" at the end of his last name should be a "t" — as in "bust." While those suggestions are preposterously premature, it's worth noting that ABC named Bush one of the 25 greatest college football players of all-time the same week that Bush-busting heated up.

Just ask Jamarcus Russell. While Russell could have shared in LSU's hard-fought win over Florida Saturday night in Baton Rouge, he instead sits buried on the Oakland bench, a victim of extreme tardiness. Do you think the professors at LSU would have batted an eye had Russell not shown up to class for a month? It seems that Raiders' coach Lane Kiffin is a little stricter.

Just ask the slew of once-famous running backs that paraded through Sunday's Green Bay/Chicago game. Cedric Benson garnered Heisman consideration at Texas. DeShawn Wynn won a national title last year at Florida. Vernand Morency was a local hero at Oklahoma State. Heck, the Bears' Adrian Peterson, who set the D-1 rushing record at Georgia Southern, has to be distinguished from the other Adrian Peterson running wild in the division. What do they all have in common? You probably didn't notice them in Wisconsin Sunday, as John Madden and seemingly 37 NBC cameras fixated on Brett Favre. I think Favre's wife, Deanna, got more face time than these horses.

Most of all, just ask Jim Harbaugh. The former well-traveled quarterback uncovered a secret only Pete Carroll had known: it's a lot more gentle on Saturdays than Sundays. Less than a decade removed from fleeing NFL linebackers, the first-year Stanford coach sleighed Goliath USC Saturday night in Los Angeles. Sure beats facing the Pittsburgh zone blitz.

It's a vicious, blood-thirsty world we delve into on Sunday afternoons. It's a world where average Joes root for the destruction of knee ligaments of real human beings, all in the name of knocking off Bob in Accounting's fantasy team. Even making harmless picks no longer gets the kid gloves treatment; now we play suicide pools to see who can go the longest without picking a loser.

So maybe when the Mike Vicks and the Pacman Joneses crawl out from dark corners of this savage universe, we shouldn't be shocked. Sure, come Monday morning, the soul-paring violence of NFL Sundays is reduced to a box score to be studied over our Starbucks. We all emerge from the previous day's tryst as Mr. Hyde and refamiliarize ourselves with our Dr. Jekyll morals. But for these guys, this universe is life.

Does that make it right to disregard the right to decency for dogs or the rule of law? Of course not. But maybe we can see the dark place that those digressions from order come from when we look at the carnivorous culture of pro football. Anyone who dismisses the literal bloodlust that the NFL walks hand-in-hand with is kidding himself. We can't get enough of it.

So go ahead and enjoy these Sundays packed with controlled violence and mayhem — I know I will. Unlike the Christians in Ancient Rome, these gladiators fully choose to enter this carnage, and they get paid pretty well for it, too. But, Mr. Darren McFadden, for instance, think long and hard about that decision. Today's gladiators face far scarier things than Lions; they have Patriots and Cowboys to fight, too.

Posted by Corrie Trouw at 11:59 AM | Comments (0)

"Hesteria" Spreading Across the NFL

Do not adjust your television set.

That navy-blue blur streaking across the screen is not a technical malfunction, but one of the best return specialists ever to lace 'em up in the NFL. With a 97-yard kickoff return for a touchdown in the fourth quarter of a 37-27 loss to the Lions, Bears return-man Devin Hester continued to cause "Hesteria" for opposing special teams units and extended his career touchdown total to 8 last week. Add to that a touchdown on the opening kickoff of last season's Super Bowl XLI, and you've got a resume almost good enough for Canton. But how does the Pro Bowl returner stack up against the all-time kick-returning greats?

Eric Metcalf — From 1989 to 2002, the 5'10" burner from Texas returned kicks for seven different teams, amassing an impressive 12 total returns for touchdowns. Ten of those 12 came on punt returns, a number that still stands as the NFL's all-time mark. Despite being a much better all-around player than Hester (55 combined career touchdowns), Metcalf's best year as a kick returner netted him only three trips to the end zone — half as many as Hester's rookie season.

Desmond Howard — Behind Metcalf on the all-time punt-return touchdown list is Howard, whose 8 career punt return scores are the jewel of a fine NFL career. Well, almost. What the former Heisman winner will ultimately be remembered for is his performance in Super Bowl XXXI, where he set or tied records for punt return and all-purpose yards in a Super Bowl, returned a kick 99 yards for a crucial touchdown in the third-quarter, and walked away as the MVP. And oh yeah, his Packers won their third Super Bowl and 12th overall NFL championship.

Dante Hall — The former Kansas City Chief is perhaps the most similar to Hester of all the great return specialists. His diminutive size and sizzling speed, coupled with an uncanny elusiveness, has propelled Hall to 12 total career returns for touchdowns (6 on punt returns, 6 on kickoffs). He is most like Hester in that he accepts his role (whether voluntarily or forced) as an almost exclusive special teams player.

Gale Sayers — Rarely thought of as a return specialist, this legendary Hall of Famer holds NFL records for highest career kickoff return average (30.56 yards) and kickoff returns for touchdowns (6, tied with Hall, Mel Gray, and two others). His silky-smooth running style led to 3 return touchdowns in 1967 on only 16 kickoffs, or one every 5.3 attempts. Sayers is revered as one of the greatest running backs in NFL history, a status that the return-focused Hester is unlikely to approach any time soon.

Brian Mitchell — Despite being the NFL's all-time leader in punt return yards (4,999), kickoff return yards (14,014), and total return touchdowns (13), Mitchell is largely forgotten in the discussion of the greatest returner ever. He wasn't as explosive as Hester or Hall, and opposing teams didn't lose much sleep over his ability to take over a game on special teams. His numbers are largely a product of longevity, but that doesn't make them any less impressive. Hester's size and durability may prevent him from eclipsing Mitchell's outstanding yardage totals.

While Hester still has a ways to go to catch Sayers and Mitchell, the scariest part of his success is that he has only played in 21 career games. At his current rate, it would only take Hester two years to pass Mitchell in total return touchdowns. In 10 years, well ... you do the math.

Posted by John Hocter at 11:37 AM | Comments (0)

October 6, 2007

Who Has It Worse, the Irish or Mets?

The wonderful thing about talking sports is that the conversations are like verbal gateways to larger contexts. Sometimes they touch on social and economic concerns, sometimes they're debates about historical milieu, and sometimes they're probing questions about morality.

But many times, talking sports means talking about humanity: our emotions, our desires, our fears. All that psycho-babble horse-hockey that keeps knuckleheads like Dr. Phil swimming in Hostess snack cakes.

My buddy Schultz at the newspaper put forth one such sports topic this week:

"Who would you rather be right now: a Notre Dame football fan or a New York Mets fan?"

As far as hypotheticals go, that one's a doozy. Would you want to be a college football fanatic, cheering for arguably the most storied program in the history of the sport, who is now being subjected to an abortion of a season and a mess of a team on its way to potentially the worst losing streak in school history?

Or would you rather be a baseball fan who watched his high-priced collection of superstars become the first MLB team that failed to win its division after having a lead of seven games or more with 17 left in the season?

Let's dispense with the obvious: in the grand scheme, it's much easier to be a Notre Dame fan than a New York Mets fan.

(Full disclosure: I'm a lifelong Mets fan, but not an ND fan. I wouldn't say I'm a hater: I believe Notre Dame's success is a necessary evil for the betterment of college football as a whole, much like how it's important that the New York Rangers or the Los Angeles Lakers have competitive teams. And besides, the team's nickname is offensive to me as an Irish-American. I'm so tired of everyone thinking I'm some hair-trigger thug looking to put his dukes up. Suffering a slur from the name of a sports team ... I guess now I know how Native Americans feel. Well, minus the genocide.)

Notre Dame has a legacy of mystique, while the Mets have a legacy of mistakes. Notre Dame has 11 consensus national titles, and the Mets have two world championships. Joe Montana is a bigger legend than Tom Seaver; same goes for Knute Rockne over Gil Hodges. Plus, Notre Dame is the only show in town, while Mets fans are in the constant shadow of the Bronx. Imagine if USC moved to North Bend, Indiana — it's kind of like that.

And while the Mets' most famous fans are Jerry Seinfeld and the fat guy from "The King of Queens," Notre Dame's most famous fan is ... Jesus Christ.

But as far as this season goes, who has it worse?

I think the answer, clearly, is Mets fans. We watched this team look like a champion for roughly five months, chugging along to an inevitable playoff appearance in which pitching would decide its fate. What happened in September was like owning a tricked out luxury automobile that inexplicably started sputtering along and emitting fumes that resembled those found in the restroom of a Chevy's. The mechanics can't figure out the problem and don't know how to fix it; it becomes a high-end junker before your very eyes.

There was frustration, there was pain, and there was embarrassment, as we watched that annoying gnat of a franchise in Philadelphia overtake the Mets in the final week of the season. Tom Glavine's end-of-the-season implosion against the Marlins will go down as one of the most singularly pathetic chokes in New York sports history. I always knew that guy was a double-agent; I could smell the Ted Turner on him from a mile away.

For Notre Dame fans, I'm sure embarrassment is prevalent, but pain? This season was such an immediate bullet to the brain that I can't imagine there was much suffering involved this fall. That's not to say Notre Dame fans aren't suffering; as the Associated Press put it this week: "Close isn't good enough for Notre Dame fans 19 years removed from their last national championship, 14 years removed from their last bowl victory and 11 months removed from their last win." Yikes…

So, going forward, who has it worse? The Irish have arguably the top recruiting class in the nation for 2008. CSTV recruiting expert Tom Lemming told the Chicago Sun-Times that, "You'll see steady improvement by the end of this year, next year will be better and by '09 they won't be looking back ... they'll be competing for titles."

Sounds promising; this means that Coach Charlie Weis is doing something right, even if it's not on the field this season.

The Mets, on the other hand, don't have a recruiting class — like every other season, they'll have transfer students, either via free agency or trade. There's talk that Johan Santana may end up at Shea, and that'd be a nice way to help the long-suffering forget about that whole month-long-collapse nonsense. But as every coach in every sport has said at least once: players play the game. And the Mets' biggest problem is that most of theirs appear to believe they're the 2006 World Series champions-in-exile.

As I said earlier, talking sports means talking about humanity: our emotions, our desires, our fears. If you believe that Notre Dame fans have it worse, it's because you believe that prolonged suffering is direr than a month of shocking anguish.

It really cuts to the core of one of life's greatest debates: how do you want to go?

The 2007 Notre Dame Fighting Irish are like a long illness that you battle through in the hopes that there's a cure in the near future. The 2007 New York Mets? It's like a doctor came to them in September and said, "You have 17 games to live, but hang in there because we may be able to save you," and they responded by loading up on whores and booze for the next two weeks.

What a way to go...

Greg Wyshynski is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 10:31 AM | Comments (0)

October 5, 2007

Answering the AFC's FAQs

In case you missed it on Monday, here is the link to the NFC's most frequently asked questions. Today, we delve into the AFC.

AFC SOUTH

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (4-0)
Didn't we win the Super Bowl last year? Why don't we get more love?

Start cheating. Apparently, that is the only way to steal headlines in the NFL anymore. Being the defending champions, getting off to a 4-0 start, and beating opponents by an average of two touchdowns apparently isn't enough to take the limelight away from various "other" teams in your conference. If that doesn't work, I guess just go undefeated. At least at that point the '72 dolphins will talk about you.

TENNESSEE TITANS (2-1)
Is year two too early to think that Vince Young can take this team to great heights?

For anyone outside of Tennessee, I think so. There are still some inevitable growing pains he hasn't gone through yet. But if I were a Titans fan, I'd be expecting a Super Bowl very soon. What's not to like about Young so far? I was on the fence about him until last Monday night when I watched him destroy the Saints. About half-time, I actually broke down and sent out the "Vince Young is good" text message to my friends. I have never liked scrambling QBs and probably never will, but I like Young's game. He just makes plays when it counts. Unfortunately, he plays in a tough division, in an even tougher conference, and has an average-at-best supporting cast. But given the right situation one year, he can definitely lead a team to the Super Bowl. I say it'll take about three or four more seasons. Or he could go down the road of every other well-hyped scrambling QB and fizzle out after three seasons or so. We'll see.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (2-1)
If Baltimore won a Super Bowl with just a defense, why can't we?

Just the thought of David Garrard winning a Super Bowl makes me mad. It goes against everything I think a Super Bowl team should be. He is brutal. I like the defense in Jacksonville, and Jackson DeVille is a great name for the mascot, but that is all they have going for them. Four touchdowns in three games is exactly what you can expect from this offense. They can play .500 football because the defense is good enough to keep them in games, but not good enough to dominate completely and take over games. They are going to have to count on the offense to win them some games. It isn't likely to happen. This is the one team I can see tanking late in the year.

HOUSTON TEXANS (2-2)
How unfair is it that we finally get rid of David Carr and then our new and improved quarterback loses his top target?

It's a better problem to have than last year at this time when the question was, "Why is Carr still our quarterback?" I'd focus on the positives. You have a budding quarterback/wide receiver stud combination, the defensive rookie of the year last year in Demeco Ryans, September Rookie of the Month Amobi Okoye, and last year's number 1 overall pick Mario Williams. Throw in a good coach and you've got all the signs of a good football team for years to come. You are a running back away from being pretty good. Fortunately, if Andre Johnson stays hurt, you might get to draft high enough to get one.

AFC NORTH

PITTSBURGH STEELERS (3-1)
We've always had regular season success, but can we win in the playoffs with this new coaching staff?

I think so. Sometimes a team depends on its coaching staff to give them an identity, but not the Steelers. To quote Dennis Green, "They are who we thought they were!" They are going to win by playing tough defense, hoping Ben Roethlisberger plays mistake-free, and pounding the ball on the ground. Mike Tomlin has done a good job of making sure that the same style of play is being played under his watch. Their long-term success is dependant on their players getting the job done, not the coaching staff.

Cleveland Browns (2-2)
Should Brady Quinn play this year?

He should be nothing more than a backup. If HBO's "Hard Knocks" taught us anything, it is that most of us have no idea how much information needs to be absorbed during training camp. For Quinn to miss out on that time, coupled with the fact that Derek Anderson has been fine, there is no need for him to play. Let him learn, bring in a new coaching staff next year, and let him start fresh with an offensive-minded coach.

BALTIMORE RAVENS (2-2)
Why have some people called our defense overrated?

Because it is. I hate to break it to you, but giving up 22.5 points per game isn't exactly as intimidating as some people think it is. They are better than a majority of teams, but being a middle of the road defense and having an average offense isn't a recipe for rattling off a few wins in a row.

CINCINNATI BENGALS
For being an ex-defensive coordinator, Marvin Lewis sure hasn't had much of a defense the last few years.

That's not a question, Cincinnati, but worth addressing anyway. Isn't it about time he starts taking a little heat for what's going on there? The secondary gets shredded every week. They've given up the most points in the league. They show up on the blotter as often as they do in the win column, yet somehow no one seems to mention that Marvin Lewis had been exceptionally bad and underachieving over the past few years. How can he get a pass, but Marty Schottenheimer loses his job after a 14-2 season? It makes no sense.

AFC WEST

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (2-2)
Was it misguided thinking that despite the fact that every running back that has had 400 caries in a season has broken down the following year, our back was able to withstand it?

Obviously. The way he is lumbering around, there seems like at least a 60% chance Larry Johnson is shutdown by Thanksgiving.

DENVER BRONCOS (2-2)
Will Travis Henry finish the year with more touchdowns than children?

Definitely children. Henry has only one touchdown this year despite having over 400 yards. He has nine children by nine different women, so by my count, he would need two touchdowns every three games to even tie (assuming he was inactive during February and March of last year).

OAKLAND RAIDERS (2-2)
If we can manage to steal a few more wins and Daunte Culpepper stays healthy, is he our quarterback next year?

Probably not. Unless they win nine or more games this year and win the division, I can't see any reason why JaMarcus Russell won't be the guy next year. Even then, there is really no reason not to play a number one pick. You have to commit to him. To me it looks like Culpepper is just keeping a seat warm and auditioning for a starting job somewhere else next year.

SAN DEIGO CHARGERS (1-3)
How can we possibly have more losses already this year than all of last year?

Forget everything I said about the Steelers and their coaching moves earlier, this team screwed up big time by firing Marty Schottenheimer. There is absolutely no reason to change coaches after a 14-2 season. None. Norv Turner and his staff have taken essentially the same exact team and completely derailed it. I know that most owners give the GM complete control of the team, but if I owned a team and we went 14-2 and after the season my GM told me that we needed to fire our head coach, only we want to do it later in the offseason than everyone else even though all the viable candidates will have already been taken, let's just say that I'd be looking for a new GM, not a coach.

AFC EAST

BUFFALO BILLS (1-3)
What's worse, losing four Super Bowls or knowing that it looks like it's going to be decades before we get there again?

Never getting there again. Losing a Super Bowl sucks, but longing for the day of 2004 when they went 9-7 sucks a little more.

NEW YORK JETS (1-3)
Is Eric Mangini still a genius if we go 4-12?

He's a genius for ratting out his old boss and diverting attention away from the fact that his team has managed to put together quite a collection of losses already. Unless they can take advantage of a soft upcoming schedule, the Jets fans are going to have a hard time justifying calling their coach a genius while he boasts a career losing record.

MIAMI DOLPHINS (1-3)
When did Ronnie Brown become a total yards machine?

I found myself asking the same question. How happy is the guy who begrudgingly took him as a second or third running back in your fantasy draft? In the last two week,s alone he's put up 418 total yards and 4 touchdowns. He's all the sudden Marshall Faulk, if only Faulk had played for a terrible team, and on a baseball field instead of in a dome.

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (4-0)
Can anyone beat us?

Not in September. But it is still way too early to tell if this is even a championship team. All it takes is one hit to the back of Tom Brady's leg to turn this team into just another team.

I'm not saying I haven't been thoroughly impressed this season. I honestly think they have put together the best four-game stretch to start a season I have ever seen. They are unstoppable right now. With that being said, a lot can happen in 12 games. Bill Parcells tried to warn us about this in part one.

Let's not get the anointing oils out just yet.

Posted by Scott Shepherd at 11:39 AM | Comments (1)

Farewell Baseball, From Yours Truly

Long ago, Goliath walked out toward David and yelled, "Come over here, and I'll give your flesh to the birds and wild animals." A fight began, and David reached into his shepherd's bag and took out a stone. He hurled it from his sling and it hit the Goliath in the forehead, making Goliath fall to the ground.

But Goliath got up with just a bruise, took his sword, killed David, and fed his flesh to the birds and wild animals.

Sound familiar? No? Then you must not be a baseball fan.

Every time the baseball playoffs start, fans are subjected to the same story line — Goliath makes it to playoffs, Goliath romps through David's little brother, romps through David's baby sister, and gets to the World Series to play David. And more times than not, David gets fed to the lions by the hand of Goliath.

Oh, how wrong that is.

Yankees. Angels. Mets. Red Sox. Dodgers. Cubs. Goliath. The Roman Empire. The British Navy. The Soviet hockey team. The house in Las Vegas. The Harlem Globetrotters.

It just all rolled off the tongue like 1, 2, 3. People either love or hate those who always win. When the Globetrotters win, we love it. When the house wins while we're in Vegas, we hate it. But small market baseball fans are different. When the big market teams muscle the other teams out of the playoffs, we just sit back and take it.

"There's always next season," we say. But, damn it, we small market fans can't sit back and take it anymore.

Next season, the Yankees will sign our best player. Next season, the Red Sox will trade a planet for a middle reliever. And next season, the Cubs' brilliant public relations office will dub their playoff loss another "curse" and sell their pathetic fans the pseudo-romantic story of the "underdog." But, dearest Cubs fans, it's not a curse. And you are not the underdog when you spend $100 million on a baseball team and still fail to win — this year, it will be 99 years. It's simply pathetic.

It's sad to watch small market teams throwing rocks at Goliath and hoping one of them knocks him over. It's disheartening to watch David having to settle for putting a chink in Goliath's armor. And it's pathetic that we just sit back and take it.

I am angry. And I'm done "taking it."

I propose a boycott — screw Major League Baseball. In the past, I urged people to watch the games even though we knew the playing field wasn't level. I hoped one day, MLB would get a salary cap in place and the universe would be peaceful again. But it hasn't happened yet. So I am not watching a single game of this year's playoffs.

I love baseball. I want to see the Indians and Diamondbacks meet in the World Series. But that would only lead baseball fans to believe a salary cap isn't necessary.

So, dear baseball, it's not you, it's Major League Baseball. For now, I shall leave you. But one day, let's reunite in a better place.

Yours truly.

Posted by Alvin Chang at 11:14 AM | Comments (0)

October 4, 2007

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 5

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Arizona @ St. Louis (+3)

It's not looking good in St. Louis. Injuries continue to decimate the Rams, particularly the offensive line, the team can't score (averaging less than 10 points per game), Marc Bulger is playing with two broken ribs, and Steven Jackson's groin is still sore.

"Just to clarify," says Scott Linehan, "the St. Louis Blues are a hockey team and not our state of mind. Even with the broken ribs, Marc will play. Steven, however, will not. And I can't blame him. I mean, a man's got what, 17, 18 ribs? What's two broken ones? Steven's got only one groin."

The quarterback situation is different in Arizona, where the Cardinals have two healthy players at that position, Matt Leinart and Kurt Warner. The two passed for a combined 337 yards in last week's win over Pittsburgh.

"There are no rib issues with us," says Leinart. "I can't speak for Kurt, but the only ribs I'm concerned with are those utilized for 'her' pleasure. As far as this platoon situation at quarterback, I'm all for it as long as it works. We've had to convince Kurt, though. He believes that another man should not covet another man's center. I just told him that threesomes are pretty sweet as long as no one gets hurt. So, it looks like Kurt will keep playing odd-numbered downs and I'll get even-numbered downs."

Under normal circumstances, a team like the Rams would be solid to break their winless streak at home. But their injury situation is dire, and Arizona's "Heaven and Hell" quarterback tandem is working. Cardinals win, 30-20.

Atlanta @ Tennessee (-8)

It's too bad that Michael Vick's legal troubles deprived us of the matchup that would have featured Vick against Tennessee's Vince Young. The former quarterback of the future whose troubles started with marijuana and middle fingers to the fans, then escalated to dog-fighting, versus today's quarterback of the future who is pretty well-behaved but for an occasional slugging of a teammate in practice. But that probably won't lead to dog-fighting, one would think.

"The thought of dog-fighting appalls me," says Young, who maintains legendary status in the dark, mysterious underworld of Wonderlic scores, where he is known as 'The One.' "Even before the Vick dog-fighting scandal, I was fiercely protective of my offensive coordinator, Norm Chow. Now, I'm even more protective."

Instead of Vick, Young and the Titans will face Joey Harrington, who quarterbacked the Falcons to their first win, which happened to be over the Titans' division rival Houston. Harrington and Young couldn't be more different. When Young runs, it's with a purpose. When Harrington runs, it's simply a means of escape. Young will be with the Titans for years. Harrington has been with three teams in his seven-year career. Young has street credibility; Harrington has little or none, although he's a founding member of a "gang" called the "Baby Grands," whose idea of gang-banging is four guys playing one piano.

"The Bloods and the Crips might have a finger on the trigger," says Harrington, "but I've got a finger on a key and a foot on a pedal. Mad props to Liberace. Anyway, enough with the ghetto talk. I'm well-prepared for this contest, as Vince is too, I'm sure. The Titans have had two weeks to prepare for us, and Vince has slept in his own bed for two weeks."

Young and the Titans rush for 175 yards as a team, and Young passes for one score and rushes for another. Tennessee wins, 28-17.

Carolina @ New Orleans (-3)

After the Panthers rolled over to the Bucs, exposing their undersides in an act of submission, losing 20-7 at home, defensive lineman Kris Jenkins accused his teammates of having "no heart." After none of Jenkin's teammates came to their own defense, it was determined that Jenkin's statement was anatomically inaccurate, and the Panthers do, in fact, have heart, but don't have "balls."

"Hey, it's not often one of your own teammates provides you with bulletin board material," says Jake Delhomme, soaking his ailing elbow in a bucket of Bojangles chicken. "I have to beg to differ with what Kris says. I know for a fact that several members of this team have heart. If they're anything like me, they have heart. I've got most of their albums, from Dog and Butterfly to Bebe Le Strange. In fact, I'm listening to one of their songs right now. It's called 'Heartless.'"

Like the Panthers, one could accuse the Saints of lacking certain body parts, like a heart, or guts, or a spine. But those oddsmakers in Las Vegas must see something in the winless Saints, for New Orleans opened as a three-point favorite. If that doesn't raise the hackles of the 2-2 Panthers, what will, short of questioning their manhood, or asking for their dress sizes? The Panthers usually play well after losses. This year, they've started win-loss-win-loss. Football is a game of trends, and since the Saints have started loss-loss-loss, I look for both trends to continue. David Carr gets the start, shows he has a heart, and a brain, by recognizing that Steve Smith has had no touchdowns in the last two weeks. Carolina wins, 27-21.

Cleveland @ New England (-16 ½)

A lot of people had their doubts about Randy Moss in New England, particularly Mike Ditka, but it sure looks like Moss is a happy camper. After two more touchdown catches against the Bengals, Moss leads the league with seven scoring grabs, and Tom Brady is thrilled.

"And for a guy dating a Brazilian supermodel, being thrilled is saying something," says Brady. "Randy is a misunderstood guy. His attitude and work ethic has been impeccable. He's just one of the guys. There's a lot of things people don't know about this guy. For one, the Raiders obviously didn't know he still has madd skillz. And, I haven't seen Randy take off one play. Now, I don't want to say Randy's never sandbagged. He has, otherwise he wouldn't be here. But he's gone all out while a Patriot. Also, Randy's a heck of a cook. He's only been in Massachusetts for a few months and already he's put his variation on a regional favorite, New England clam chowder. His is called 'Randy Moss' Shazzam Chowder,' made with chit'lins instead of clam meat and flavored with pork rinds and bacon bits. It's delicious, if you don't mind eating pig viscera. I did have to remind Randy that 'shittake,' as in the mushroom, is a three-syllable word, not two."

After the NFL destroyed Bill Belichick's favorite video collection, he had to start a new one. Lately, he's been watching video of the Patriots' four wins this season, which have come by an average margin of 25 points.

"Do you think the NFL will confiscate those videos if I call them 'snuff films?'" asks Belichick. "Anyway, I don't think it will be hard to steal Romeo Crennel's signals. I think he's still using the same signs he used when he was our defensive coordinator."

Does Belichick seem like the type of man to take it easy on a former coach on his staff? Heck no. The man is all-out, full-bore, insanely competitive, and shows no mercy. He's even tried to outdo Brady by dating a super model, but the best he could do was RuPaul. Brady wins that one, and completes the usual 79% of his passes. Moss goes for two scores and the Pats defense dominates. New England wins, 34-13.

Detroit @ Washington (-3 ½)

The Lions set an NFL record, one they can be proud of, when they scored 34 points in the fourth quarter against the Bears last Sunday. Detroit entered the fourth quarter trailing 13-3, but exploded for 5 touchdowns to shock the Bears, 37-27.

"I think you can say that signifies a changing of the guard," says Jon Kitna, on pace to throw for 4,908 yards this year, well short of the 11,000 he predicted earlier this year. "This team is the laughing stock of the NFC North no more. If you guys still want a laugh, take a gander in our front office. Matt Millen is still there. But anyway, in the words of marginally-talented Detroit native Kid Rock, we're 'So Hott.' Detroit is the birthplace of soul, and this team has soul. Personally, I register on the soul meter somewhere between Mike Tirico and Colonel Harland Sanders. We plan on taking this team somewhere it hasn't been since 1991? That's the year the Lions last made it to the NFC Championship."

Yeah, isn't that the year they lost to the Redskins 45-0 in Washington?

"You got it, brother," replies Joe Gibbs, fondly recalling the preparation it took to devise a game plan to defeat the master strategy that Wayne Fontes had concocted. "I think I wrote that on a napkin, in crayon, in language a fifth-grader could understand."

The 2-1 Redskins have had an extra week to prepare for the Lions. Jon Kitna has had six days to rest his arm for the 42 passes he'll be throwing this Sunday. That's plenty of time. Lions win, 31-27.

Jacksonville @ Kansas City (+2 ½)

Chances are, when Jack Del Rio and Herman Edwards get together, there will be no talk of flea flickers, double reverses, or fake punts. With these two, it's strictly conservative, and the play-calling will be "close to the vest." Edwards likes to employ the "three yards and a cloud of charismatic Herman anecdotes" offense, while Del Rio's never met a 9-0 lead he couldn't milk for three quarters.

"Hey, I'm not ashamed that we butter out toast with running and defense," says Del Rio, no relation to Vanessa. "Those two things get us where we're going. I won't change that philosophy for anything, not even if that means the best we can hope for is a wild card berth and a first-round exit from the playoffs. When you put on a Jacksonville uniform, you agree to play under the terms and principles of a former linebacker who liked to physically pound the opposition, at least those I could catch. My guys like to hit. I know Herman and myself will engage in some friendly chatter before the game, then try to ram the ball down each others' throats during the game."

Arrowhead Stadium is usually not too kind to intruders, but the Jaguars are a pretty good road team. In Week 3, they went to Denver and pummeled the Broncos. AFC West teams are ripe for the picking right now. The division is a collective 7-9, and those seven wins have come against teams with a combined 8-20 record. The Jags load up the box and dare the Kansas City quarterback to beat them. The Kansas City quarterback, in turn, dares the Jacksonville defense to identify him by name. They can't, and he can't. David Garrard throws for one score and rushes for another. Jags win, 20-16.

Miami @ Houston (-5 ½)

Should the Dolphins feel bad that Daunte Culpepper torched them for 5 touchdowns, then taunted the crowd by pointing to his knee and flashing the "okay" sign?

"Hey, if Daunte wants to play charades, that's his prerogative," says Miami coach Cam Cameron. "He can do what he wants to do. It's his prerogative. It's the way that he wants to live. It's his prerogative. No one can tell him what to do."

Nice segue, Cam. You just quoted some Bobby Brown lyrics, probably unintentionally, and how can you mention Brown without then mentioning Whitney Houston, whose greatest love of all is crack? And 'crack' rhymes with 'track,' and the Texans are 'off track,' having lost two straight after starting the season 2-0. The Texans fell to the Falcons, who were previously winless, and now Houston must face another team looking for its first victory.

"Those doggone schedule makers didn't do us any favors," says a steamed Gary Kubiak. "Playing winless teams does nothing but diminish our strength of schedule, which may come in handy down the road as a tiebreaker for 13th place in the AFC. And losing to winless teams is even more of a detriment."

It's time for the Texans to decide whether they are pretenders or contenders. Beating Miami doesn't necessarily make you a contender, but losing to them definitely makes you a pretender. Matt Schaub throws for 205 yards and a score, and Trent Green throws a costly fourth quarter interception, then points to his head and gives the "not okay" sign. Houston wins, 27-20.

NY Jets @ NY Giants (-3)

The Giants sacked Donovan McNabb 12 times last Sunday night in their 16-3 win over the Eagles. Osi Umenyiora recorded six of those, a franchise record, while Mathias Kiwanuka had three, Justin Tuck two, and Michael Strahan one. The Giants tied the NFL record held by five other teams.

"We were so close to that record," said Strahan. "If Brett Favre would have been here, I guarantee we'd have that record. And if I were a Minnesota cornerback, I guarantee I'd have let Brett get 421 easier than he did."

The Giants will face the Jets, who, at their current rate, will have their 12th sack sometime around Week 5, next year. The Jets' inability to pressure the quarterback and create turnovers has Eric Mangini in a tizzy about how to intensify the Jets' pass rush.

"If we could bottle the harassment ability of Knicks coach Isiah Thomas," says Mangini, "and douse our defense with it, then maybe we could get some pressure. Then again, that may just make our defense harass the Giants offensive line with unwanted hugs and suggestive language. But hey, if that results in a sack, I'm all for it."

The bottom line is this: Chad Pennington won't have time to pass against the Giants rush, and he surely can't run from it. Eli Manning will have all day to find an open receiver, and if Manning has time, he'll find one. Manning and Plaxico Burress hook up for 123 yards and a score, and Pennington tastes the Giants Stadium five times, then remarks at how much it reminds him of the Jets' home field. Giants win, 29-19.

Seattle @ Pittsburgh (-6)

The Steelers fell from the ranks of the unbeaten, losing 21-14 in Arizona as the Cards shut down the Pittsburgh running game. Previously categorized with the Patriots and Colts in the AFC's top tier, the Steelers now must regroup and deal with their status in the lower tier of AFC teams, along with thirteen other teams.

"Look, I'm not going to panic over one loss," says Mike Tomlin. "It's my first loss, and that one loss puts me well ahead of Chuck Noll and Bill Cowher on the all-time list of fewest losses among all Steeler coaches. It's simple: we have to play our game to win. If we rush for only 77 yards, throw two interceptions, and give up a punt return touchdown, we'll lose every time. Maybe the Cardinals did expose a chink in our armor, but no team is bulletproof."

But for Matt Hasselbeck and Shaun Alexander's bumbling idiot routine in Week 2's loss to the Cardinals, the Seahawks could be one of the NFL's remaining undefeated teams. Instead, they're 3-1, on top of the NFC West, and ready to make a statement for the NFC.

"I have a prepared statement on behalf of the NFC," says Hasselbeck. "This is addressed to all AFC teams, and New England and Indianapolis in particular, and details the conditions and terms of NFC surrender in the Super Bowl. The Dallas Cowboys have chosen to secede from their NFC affiliation and go it alone."

Both the Steelers and Seahawks play a similar style of football in which they would ideally like to take a 7- to 10-point lead, then run the ball 33 times for a 3.2 yard average. But don't expect either team to jump to much of a lead. The 'Hawks are coming off a big division win on the road, while the Steelers return to the cozy confines of Heinz Field, where Terrible Towels can be waved like a pom-pom, or loaded with a roll of quarters for a knockout blow to an obnoxious drunk. This one stays close, but the Steelers prevail on a Jeff Reed field goal. Pittsburgh wins, 19-17.

Tampa Bay @ Indianapolis (-10)

Tony Dungy and John Gruden each have Super Bowl rings, but their similarities don't end there.

"Yeah, we also have this in common," says Dungy. "Gruden won a Super Bowl with my players, too."

You're right, Tony. But at least Gruden knew that you can't win a Super Bowl with Shaun King at quarterback.

"And Tony knew that he couldn't win a Super Bowl without Peyton Manning," says Gruden. "Any coach would be lucky to coach Manning. He is such a student of the game. I can picture Manning in elementary school, wearing a schoolboy outfit somewhere between that of Eddie Munster and that of Angus Young, calling out the answers to questions before the teacher even asks them. He's that good."

Injuries took their toll on both teams last week. For the Colts, Marvin Harrison, Bob Sanders, and Joseph Addai were all banged up, and linebacker Rob Morris was lost for the year. For the Bucs, Cadillac Williams and offensive lineman Luke Pettigout were both lost for the year due to knee injuries. The Bucs defense may be able to somewhat contain Manning and the Colts, but how many bootlegs can Jeff Garcia run against the fast Indy defense before they figure it out? Seven? Eight? Who knows? And who cares? Adam Vinatieri kicks three field goals, and the Colts win, 26-17. Gruden lets slip the last of 287 "F-bombs" uttered during the game, and faces a humiliating admonishment from Dungy after the game at midfield.

Baltimore @ San Francisco (+3 ½)

As defensive coordinator in Baltimore before his hire as the 49ers coach, Mike Nolan probably knows exactly what the Ravens' defense plans to do on Sunday against San Francisco. That's the easy part. The hard part is: what is he going to do about it?

"Look, I've coached circles around Brian Billick while I was working for him," says Nolan. "Why shouldn't I be able to do it now? We'll have to attack the Ravens with our biggest strength."

What's that? The fact that the 49ers have five Super Bowls to the Ravens one?

"No," replies Nolan. "Our running game is our strength, even though the numbers don't show that. We have to run the ball against the Ravens. That's why you can expect at least 20 carries for Frank (How Do You Like It? How Do You Like It?) Gore (Gore! Gore!) and a conservative game from Trent Dilfer, who's in for Alex Smith. Trent knows the Ravens defense very well. He's the QB who lead the Ravens Super Bowl-winning team's offense to a number of drives that either went nowhere or resulted in a field goal. We're hoping Trent can lead us to six or seven field goals."

Baltimore is stinging from last week's loss to the Browns, which left them 2-2 and 0-2 against AFC North teams. It's a must win situation, and the gangsters that comprise the rough and tumble Ravens have no other option but to declare "G-had" on the 49ers.

Baltimore wins,, 20-9.

San Diego @ Denver (-1)

After jumping on the Colts 10-0 last week, the Broncos were outscored 38-10 the rest of the way, even surrendering the dreaded "Peyton Manning one-yard touchdown run." The loss taught Denver a hard lesson: if they're not tied or trailing by less than three points with Jason Elam setting up for a field goal with less than four seconds remaining, then they have no chance to win. Even so, the Broncos are still tied for first in the AFC West with the Chiefs and Raiders, with the Chargers bringing up the rear.

"Obviously, our red zone percentage leaves a lot to be desired," says Mike Shanahan. "Obviously, teams are daring us to throw the ball in the red zone. And with Javon Walker hurt, who are we going to throw it to? Rick Upchurch? Haven Moses? One of the Three Amigos?"

San Diego fell to the Chiefs in San Diego 30-16 to drop to 1-3, and the screams for Norv Turner's and/or general manager A.J. Smith's heads have intensified, while Marty Schottenheimer is enjoying a smug sense of satisfaction, much like the one coaches feel when they win a playoff game. So, it's a new feeling for Schottenheimer. Unlike the loud chants of "We want Marty!" that reverberate from the voices of San Diego fans across the land, players have remained respectful of Turner, but scream silently for their old coach. Luckily, fans and players alike have an unlikely ally in the Beastie Boys, who urge all concerned parties that "(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (to Marty)."

"That's good to know," says LaDainian Tomlinson. "And so is this: there is a posse in effect to find A.J. Smith and bring him to justice."

It's simple for the Chargers. Lose, and you're 1-4. Win, and you could be a half-game out of the AFC West lead by Sunday evening. I suggest you give the ball to Tomlinson and ride the lightning. Otherwise, it's fade to black. San Diego wins, 21-20.

Chicago @ Green Bay (-3)

Brett Favre's 16-yard touchdown pass to Greg Jennings in the first quarter gave Favre the NFL record for touchdown passes, breaking Dan Marino's number of 421. Then, just in case Marino decides to come out of retirement to quarterback the Bears, Dolphins, or Panthers, Favre tossed number 422.

"So let it be written; so let it be done," says Favre proudly. "But I couldn't have done it without all these guys, an amazing collection of talent. This offense is gelling, and the defense is young and hungry. It smells like team spirit around here."

In their 37-27 loss to Detroit, the Bears found out that applying Griese to their offense does not necessarily make it a well-oiled machine. Brian Griese, who got the start over Rex Grossman, threw 3 interceptions as the Bears fell to 1-3.

"Three interceptions?" says Lovie Smith. "Well, I guess that entitles Brian to remain the starter, according to the 'Lovie Rules,' my new book. Plus, check out my new reality show on VH1 called The Flavor of Lovie. This is do or die for us. Since the Packers can't run the ball, that leaves us only one option: blitz the daylights out of Favre, and pray for a record-setting day from Devin Hester."

Lovie's right. Green Bay does have trouble running, but Favre has no trouble running to congratulate his receivers after touchdown catches. And the Bear defensive backfield is still an injured lot. Hester's magic keeps the Bears close, but Favre engineers a late drive for the winning score. Packers win, 29-21.

Dallas @ Buffalo (+10)

Dallas has always been a thorn in the side of Buffalo. Of course, there's the two Super Bowl blowouts, but there's also the 1999 Stanley Cup, in which Brett Hull scored the Cup-winning goal with his skate planted firmly in the crease as the Stars beat the Sabres in six.

"We owe the city of Dallas for a lifetime of hurt," says Bills running back Marshawn Lynch. "Not only for the Super Bowls and the Stanley Cup, but for the time when Charlie waters smoked O.J. Simpson on a 10-speed bike to win the 1975 Superstars title. It's Monday night, we're at home, and we're pumped up. We'll be ready to play, with the bitter taste of revenge in our mouths. Now, where's my helmet?"

Tony Romo continues to play like a quarterback seeking a $30 million guaranteed contract. After three passing scores and a rushing touchdown against St. Louis, Romo now has 13 total touchdowns on the year.

"I'm really relaxed out there," says Romo. "I'm letting it all hang out. Without the tremendous burden of having to field a snap from center, place one end of the ball on the turf and my index finger on the other end, and turn the ball so the laces face away from our kicker, I'm free to do what I do best: quarterback. And flash my cute grin whenever possible. Of course I deserve a giant contract extension. I look, I feel, I smell like money."

Terrell Owens watched Randy Moss dominate last Monday against the Bengals. T.O. didn't have a touchdown catch last week, so expect T.O. to demand the ball. And Romo keeps everybody happy. Dallas wins, 31-17.

Last week: 7-7 (straight up); 8-6 (against the spread)
Overall: 36-26 (straight up); 26-31-5 (against the spread)

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:59 AM | Comments (1)

Who is Isiah's Accuser Kidding?

People say dumb things to the press all the time. Sometimes we laugh with them, sometimes we laugh at them, and sometimes we just shake our heads. And sometimes you just want to throw up.

Auncha Browne Sanders provided me one such moment. Yesterday, she spoke after her victory in court, which found Isiah Thomas and Madison Square Garden liable for sexual harassment, and awarded her $11.6 million dollars. She said, and I quote:

"I did this for every working woman in America.”

Did I mention the ELEVEN POINT SIX MILLION DOLLARS?

Yeah, Auncha, you were fighting for Judy Secretary pulling down $35,000 a year to take crap from her jovanist boss. That's why you hired expensive lawyers to fight accusations that you couldn't put a coherent budget together for the $260,000 you were hauling in, not to mention that you frequently used some colorful and unprofessional language of your own.

The outcome sickens me. Not for any pity for Thomas. He's honestly lucky to still be employed himself after running the Knicks into the ground, and may well have said some inappropriate things in the workplace. His pocketbook escaped unscathed, and MSG will get by somehow.

But even in the worst-case scenario, with everything she said being true, there is no way the experience and the trauma was worth $11.6 million dollars. Twenty years of hard work and sacrifice teaching school is worth about a million, if the teacher is lucky. Your suffering via harassment is worth 11 of those? Get real.

Don't believe me? Find me one person who wouldn't voluntarily go through what she did for a tenth of the money. Just one. Hell, I'd take that, and run across the middle for a pass to let Ray Lewis take a crack at me afterwards just for good measure. And at the very least, she could cut the grandstanding. "I did it for the working woman?!” Yeah, and my used-car salesman is just glad to provide me with the deal of the century.

Punishing the Knicks is fine. Twenty-nine NBA teams do it regularly anyway. But this idea that you should be handsomely rewarded with bullion just for suffering an injustice in life (just as long as a rich person did it) is wrong and one of the most irritating habbits in the country. Life sucks sometimes, get used to it; stop looking for a cheap payday.

If she was really wronged, award her some damages, a few years lost income and lawyer fees, say a million or two, which is probably still more than she deserved. But take the punitive damages, that extra $10 million, and put it to good use.

Maybe some New York teachers could use a raise. After all, Auncha, it was about the working woman, right?

Posted by Kyle Jahner at 11:56 AM | Comments (1)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 29

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson won the pole on Friday, but wrecked his car in Saturday's final practice, forcing him to start at the rear of the field. Even so, Johnson, behind the crafty leadership of crew chief Chad Knaus, methodically worked his way through the field and finished third. He know leads the points by six over Jeff Gordon.

"On a day of wacky decisions made by NASCAR," says Johnson, "declaring a winner who couldn't even cross the finish line tops the list. I think a 'reasonable rate of speed' means a speed which can carry you across the finish line. Honestly, I wasn't even aware that Greg Biffle was still driving in NASCAR.”

2. Jeff Gordon — Gordon pitted just before rain-delayed the race on lap 140, which dropped him a lap down as most other drivers hadn't cycled through. Luckily for Gordon, the rain stopped, the sun returned, the track dryers blew extra hard, and questionable driving by several Chase contenders presented Gordon with a fifth-place finish. He now stands second in the points, six behind Jimmie Johnson.

"If I have to lay back and wait for Chase contenders to start bouncing off of each other," says Gordon, "then that's what I'll do. It worked this week. And, if that's the kind of driving we get in Kansas, then I can only imagine what Talladega and the Car of Tomorrow has in store for us."

3. Clint Bowyer — Bowyer nearly grabbed his second career win, and second of the Chase, but was thwarted when NASCAR stopped the race under caution, making Greg Biffle the winner, although Bowyer crossed the finish line first. Despite several drivers declaring Bowyer the "real" winner, the Kansas native settled for second, which placed him third in the points, 14 behind Jimmie Johnson.

"Despite my protests," says Bowyer, "NASCAR refused to reconsider the order of finish. The only advice they could give me was to click my heels three times while informing me that I wasn't in New Hampshire anymore.”

4. Tony Stewart — Stewart stayed out before Sunday's final rain delay and inherited the lead. Had the race been called because of weather, he would have won. But, after a long delay while the track was dried, Stewart's cars was damaged in a lap 155 incident which caused his front fender to rub his tire. Then, on lap 176, Kurt Busch hit Stewart's slowing car. Stewart finished 39th and trails by 117 in the points.

"NASCAR didn't fine me for that curse word I uttered after practice on Saturday," says Stewart. “That's great. I saved about $25,000 on that deal, which I used towards buying a vowel and three consonants to voice my displeasure when they decided to restart. And is it considered profanity to use Kurt Busch's name in vain?”

5. Carl Edwards — On lap 176, Kurt Busch hit the slowing car of Tony Stewart, who spun into the path of Edwards. Edwards rammed Stewart's No. 20, causing substantial front-end damage to the No. 99 Home Depot Ford. Edwards finished 37th, and fell 142 points off the lead.

"I'm surprised NASCAR didn't give me a full inspection," says Edwards. "If they had, they would have found quite a few parts of my car a lot shorter than they were supposed to be."

6. Kevin Harvick — Harvick's sixth-place finish in Kansas got him back into the thick of the Chase, moving him up four spots to fifth. Although he is 126 points out of first, Harvick is confident he can make up ground at Talladega.

“It's good to see Clint Bowyer's been listening to all the information Jeff Burton and myself have been feeding him,” says Harvick. “Maybe we should have listened to him a little more.”

7. Kurt Busch — Busch ran into the back of Tony Stewart's car, slowed by a cut tire, and knocked the No. 20 car into the path of Carl Edwards' No. 99 Ford. Both Stewart and Edwards' days were essentially done, and Busch was able to drive away and finish eleventh. He now sits ninth in the points, 177 out of first.

“I guess I killed two birds with one stone,” says Busch. “And I got two birds from two different drivers. I know Tony says he had his hand up to signal that he was slowing, but between the smoke from his tire and my uncanny ability to ignore everything Tony says and does, I guess I didn't see it.”

8. Kyle Busch — On lap 29, Busch was punted into the wall by Dale Earnhardt, Jr., a clash of current and future Hendrick Motorsports drivers that is sure to reverberate for years to come, or maybe for a week. Earnhardt accepted responsibility and apologized profusely, but Busch was in no mood for forgiveness. He now trails Jimmie Johnson by 136 in falling from fourth to sixth in the standings.

“That's a double-whammy from Dale, Jr.,” says Busch. “First, he gets me canned from Hendrick, then he wrecks me in Kansas. What's next? Teresa Earnhardt marrying Joe Gibbs?”

9. Martin Truex, Jr. — Truex recovered from a flat tire on lap 32, and was in the hunt before a pileup caused by Ken Schrader collected Truex, as well as Tony Stewart and Matt Kenseth. Truex finished 38th, 35 laps down, and is 158 points out of the lead.

“I bet Schrader had a good laugh about that with Michael Waltrip on Inside Nextel Cup,” says Truex. “Is that what you call an expert panel? Those guys couldn't drive through an automated car wash without hitting something. And any car sponsored by Little Debbie should not be allowed on the track with all the beer and liquor-sponsored cars, not to mention all the cursing going on on and off camera.”

10. Matt Kenseth — After qualifying second, Kenseth was optimistic towards a good day in the Lifelock 400 in Kansas. But once the sies opened up midway through the race, his luck failed him. Kenseth pitted under green just before the rain hit, leaving him a lap down when racing resumed. Soon after, his car suffered heavy damage when he got mixed up with Tony Stewart and Martin Truex in a spin created by two lapped cars. Kenseth finished 35th, one of six Chasers who finished 30th or worse, and is 219 points behind Jimmie Johnson, who leads the points.

“Everything that could go wrong for us did,” says Kenseth. “Hopefully, in Talladega, the weather will be stable, drivers will learn to drive, and Jimmie Johnson, Jeff Gordon, and Clint Bowyer's engines will expire on the first lap.”

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:48 AM | Comments (0)

October 3, 2007

In the Box: NFL Week 4

At just a quarter way through the end of the season, a clear power structure is already starting to emerge.

There are three dominant teams right now: New England, Indianapolis, and Dallas. Right below them are Pittsburgh, Green Bay, Tampa Bay, and Seattle. Then it's Tennessee and Jacksonville. Then it's everybody else but St. Louis and Miami. Chicago, San Diego, Cincinnati, Baltimore, and New Orleans are all huge disappointments, but it's too early to throw dirt on the graves.

Chances are one of the top seven will collapse. It happens every year, and this year's not going to be any different. I'd probably go with Green Bay, if only because it's almost impossible to have a successful season with no running game. But that's by no means a guarantee. Last year's Colts set the record for worst regular season rush defense by a team that went on to win the Super Bowl. Anything can happen.

75% of the season to go, and only two teams are sizing up their draft position. Not a bad start.

Not a bad start at all.

Kansas City 30, San Diego 16: For all those in San Diego about to post "For Sale" signs in the yards of head coach Norv Turner and defensive coordinator Ted Cottrell, make sure you save one for GM A.J. Smith. Say all you want about Marty Schottenheimer's playoff chokery, but his teams never played soft. And those Chargers on Sunday were softer than four-ply White Cloud (and good for just about the same purpose). It's Smith's ego war with Marty that tipped over the first domino in this developing catastrophe.

(Is catastrophe too strong a word for 1-3? Probably. They're only one game back of the other three teams at 2-2. The Chargers and Broncos were supposed to be great. The Chiefs and Raiders were supposed to be awful. Turns out they're all four just okay. There's absolutely no predicting how this division is going to unfold from here. San Diego is just as much in it now as they were four weeks ago.)

(San Diego at Denver this Sunday is a big game.)

Fantasy Impact: Dwayne Bowe is the best wide receiver on the Chiefs since ... since ... I don't know. Ever? You shouldn't say that about a rookie a quarter way into his first season, but his talent and swagger add a whole new dimension to this offense (plus, this isn't exactly a franchise known for All-Pro WRs). Of all the lines put up this weekend, Bowe's 8 catches for 164 yards and a TD, at San Diego, has to be the most impressive. His 51-yard score in the fourth quarter to break a 16-16 tie was straight out of the T.O. mold.

Detroit 37, Chicago 27: Guess that whole "Super Bowl Loser" curse still has some chops. Unlike San Diego, Chicago does have a runaway team in their division. Already facing a three-game hole to Green Bay, and now with no backup savior to turn to, Chicago is one Cubs playoff collapse from going into a full-fledged depression.

Four notes:

1. Told you they shouldn't have traded J.T. O'Sullivan. (I did.)

2. You want to know how to lose an NFL game? Read the second-half play-by-play of this game. I'm not sure a healthy Bears defense could have withstood such butchery from their offense.

3. Lovie Smith and GM Jerry Angelo seem to be getting a free pass as Rex Grossman and Brian Griese get run over by fans and the media. I'm not sure why. It's their team.

4. Chicago at Green Bay this Sunday is a big game.

Fantasy Impact: It's beginning to look like maybe Calvin Johnson isn't going to have a big impact on the offense for the Lions this year. The Mike Martz offense isn't exactly easy as ABC. (My guess is the Chan Gailey offense at Georgia Tech wasn't quite so involved.) Plus, he missed this game with a bad back. Plus, he's at best the number four WR right now behind Roy Williams, Shaun McDonald, and Mike Furrey. Try to sell while is name is still worth something.

Dallas 35, St. Louis 7: The Marc Bulger story (playing with broken ribs) is starting to remind me of the Scott Rolen situation with the baseball Cardinals. Like Rolen, Bulger is a gamer. It doesn't matter if he's half dead, he's going to say he's fine and trot out on the field to take his beating. They see it as the right thing to do. But just like Tony La Russa should have taken the bat out of Rolen's hands six weeks before his injury finally became too much to bear, Scott Linehan needs to show some executive gonads and sit Bulger for his own good. This isn't a QB controversy. It's just the wrong move for the team to stick its broken franchise QB in front of that Arizona pass rush this Sunday.

Meanwhile, a word of caution on the rolling Cowboys: in Week 5, they play at Buffalo in the first Monday Night game in Orchard Park since 2000. They host the Patriots in Week 6. The Bills may be all banged up, but they are playing with tremendous mental toughness. This is a gritty bunch not to be underestimated. In other words, this has trap game written all over it.

Fantasy Impact: The Rams defense played decent the whole game against San Francisco, but lost. Then they played well for three quarters against Tampa and lost. And then they played well for a quarter against the Cowboys and lost. There's only so long a defense can hold out without an offense holding up their end. And now here come the Cardinals in Week 5. I'd go ahead and start Matt Leinart. Or Kurt Warner.

Stupid QB platoon.

Buffalo 17, New York Jets 14: The Jets did well to get Leon Washington more involved (only 4 carries, but 8 receptions), but a lot of that came during their two-minute offense at the end of each half. They need to break him more into the base offense and get him the ball on the ground.

Also, congrats to Trent Edwards, the first QB from the Class of 2007 to earn a win as a starter. He was the sixth QB chosen (92nd overall) behind JaMarcus Russell (1), Brady Quinn (22), Kevin Kolb (36), John Beck (40), and Drew Stanton (43).

Fantasy Impact: It looks like Edwards might be the spark the Bills' offense needs. Lee Evans had 5 receptions combined over their first three losses, 6 in Week 4. Of course it helped he was playing the Jets instead of the Broncos/Steelers/Pats, but improvement is improvement. I'm eager to see what the Bills can do against a Cowboys defense that still seems a little vulnerable.

Tampa Bay 20, Carolina 7: So I guess we can all go back to calling Jon Gruden a genius again. Great.

Fantasy Impact: It's a cold fact of life, but Cadillac Williams' season-ending surgery opens the door for somebody else, and that means whoever happens to have struggled early in your fantasy league has first crack at a top back on a legitimate playoff team that likes to run (129 rush attempts vs. 94 pass attempts through four). The question is who's the better choice, Earnest Graham (30 rushes for 136 yards and 3 touchdowns) or Michael Pittman (30 rushes for 170 yard and no touchdowns)? When in doubt, go with the touchdown man.

Oakland 35, Miami 17: Wow. What a bad weekend for Miami. Not only does Brett Favre break Dan Marino's touchdown record (and legacy is just about all this franchise has right now), but the Great Bust of 2006, Daunte Culpepper, just lit them up for 5 TDs for the Raiders. Meanwhile, Trent Green, the guy they so desperately wanted to replace Culpepper, is tied for the most interceptions in the league (7, same as Drew Brees). Hell, even Joey Harrington got a win this weekend.

At least the Marlins eliminated the Mets. The six guys who pay attention to them had to be happy with that.

Fantasy Impact: Hopefully you listened to me last week when I said to sell high on LaMont Jordan. His stock is definitely in the tank now that he had to walk off the field like he just sat on Fussily Jerry. (Bad backs suck.) But with the Raiders off this week, you might still have a shot at Dominic Rhodes, coming off a month-long vacation on a DUI suspension. He's fresh, healthy, and about to step into a lead role. Pass on Justin Fargas. His 179 yards rushing were as much a product of a Miami's NFL-worst run defense as anything else. He won't come close to matching it again, if only because he won't likely get the opportunity.

Miami plays at Houston in Week 5. If Ahman Green is out, Ron Dayne has "one week wonder" written all over him.

Green Bay 23, Minnesota 16: Everybody's talking about Favre, so I'll just tip my hat and move on: Kelly Holcomb stinks.

Okay, maybe that's a bit harsh. Let's just say he's less than what you need to win a game in the NFL.

With that said, there are exciting times ahead for the Vikings. Not only has phenom Adrian Peterson (12 carries for 112 yards) taken full control of the starting running back job, but fellow rookies Sidney Rice (second round WR from South Carolina, 6 rec. for 75 yards and a TD), Marcus McCauley (third round CB from Fresno State, 6 tackles, got beat for Favre's record TD), and Brian Robison (fourth round DE from Texas, 5 tackles and a sack) are all major contributors. They have some growing yet to do (McCauley especially), but that's looking like a heck of a draft class.

Fantasy Impact: Stop waiting for Chester Taylor to break out. I don't care what Brad Childress says. It's not happening. Save yourself the heartache.

Seattle 23, San Francisco 3: I don't know if it's possible or not, but I'd like to see the Chargers trade Norv Turner back to San Francisco in exchange for 49ers coach Mike Singletary (assistant head coach/linebackers). Singletary is headed for a head job next offseason anyway. The 49ers might as well get back their offensive coordinator from last year in exchange. And the Chargers could get some much-needed fire. It's win-win.

Fantasy Impact: The 49ers are last in third-down conversions (24 percent). They are last in first downs per game (12.5). They are tied for last in fewest yards per play (3.8 with Chicago). They are next-to-last to Cleveland in average time of possession (26:32) and only Buffalo, New Orleans, and St. Louis average fewer points per game than the 49ers' 14.

Considering the above statistics, you might be tempted to sit Frank Gore against the Ravens this Sunday. But this ain't your daddy's Ravens defense. They've given up 50 over their past two, and didn't register a single sack against the Browns. Now they're going on the road for their first West Coast trip since 2003.

In other words, start Gore.

Cleveland 27, Baltimore 13: Not only did the Ravens have no sacks against Cleveland in Week 4, Browns QB Derek Anderson has been sacked only twice since taking over for Charlie Frye three weeks ago. The offensive line of Joe Thomas, Eric Steinbach, Hank Fraley, Seth McKinney, and Kevin Shaffer is doing a fantastic job, Anderson is generally avoiding the critical error and WR Braylon Edwards and TE Kellen Winslow have the third most combined receiving yardage for a pair of teammates (742), behind only Chad Johnson/T.J. Houshmandzadeh in Cincinnati (855) and Randy Moss/Wes Welker (748) in New England.

Fantasy Impact: The untold story of this game was that the Ravens put up 418 total yards of offense on a porous Browns D that ranks next-to-last in total yards allowed and dead last in passing touchdowns allowed (12). Considering they play at New England on Sunday, that might be a problem. Just a hunch — this is the week for Donte Stallworth.

New England 34, Cincinnati 13: Tom Brady has long since been compared to Joe Montana. Now he has his Jerry Rice. This is not hyperbole. As good as Brady has been his entire career, this is far and away the best he's looked. It's like he went from playing Madden on All-Pro to playing on Beginner. It's fantastic.

Also, the Bengals went 0-7 on third-down conversions and now the Pats get Rodney Harrison back from suspension.

Fantasy Impact: The Bengals have a bye this week, so they can finally catch their breath and try to get some linebackers healthy. Then they go to Kansas City in Week 6. Damon Huard's a legit pickup for that game.

Atlanta 26, Houston 16: This Texans team is so close, but they keep effing it up. Last week against Indianapolis, it was two critical Matt Schaub interceptions in the second half. This week it was their inability to convert on short yardage in critical situations.

Three examples:

Second quarter, down 17-7, 3rd-and-1 from the Atlanta 37, Ron Dayne stuffed for –1. They go for it on fourth and complete a pass to Vonta Leach for nothing. Turnover on downs. Falcons turn the field position into a FG and a 13-point lead.

Third quarter, down 23-13, 3rd-and-goal from the Atlanta 1, incomplete pass, 19-yard FG.

Fourth quarter, down 26-16, 2:16 left, 3rd-and-goal from the Atlanta 1, -6 on the play, blocked FG. Ball game.

This team has the talent (especially once Andre Johnson comes back). Now they just need to learn how to win.

Arizona 21, Pittsburgh 14: Quote from last week: "I'll be interested to see how this no-pass Pittsburgh offense (only four teams have attempted fewer) operates against a defense capable of stopping the run. ... Just because they can win without a passing game doesn't mean they should ignore it and just hope it's there when they need it."

This week: Willie Parker got shut down (19 for 37) and the pass game wasn't there to carry the W (Ben Roethlisberger 17-for-32 for 244, 2 TD and 2 INT, 72 QB rating).

Fantasy Impact: I hate QB platoons. They don't work. They never work. This will fail. Bad move. Bad move.

With that said, Arizona is going to beat St. Louis in St. Louis this weekend.

New York Giants 16, Philadelphia 3: An unheard conversation on Sunday night:

Winston Justice: "AAAAAAAAA!!!! AAAAAAAAA!!!! Get him off me! Get him off me! Somebody help! AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

Andy Reid: "You'll be fine. Quit whining."

Justice: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! It hurts!!!"

Reid: "So Brian, you think you'll be okay for the Jets in two weeks?"

Official: "Before the play, false start, number 74"

Also, the Giants won with only 3-of-11 third-down conversions, 129 yards passing and 83 yards rushing.

Fantasy Impact: You have to wonder how the Giants defense transformed from one of the worst since the French in World War II to a vicious attacking force capable of destroying anybody on any play. Was it really the "we're learning a new defense" excuse? Is Michael Strahan really that good? This is like if New Orleans went out and scored 50 on Carolina this Sunday. I totally didn't see this coming.

Indianapolis 38, Denver 20: In a game that featured 449 combined yards rushing, you have to leave with questions about both defenses, particularly Indianapolis if Bob Sanders is out any length of time with hurt ribs.

Despite my snarky comment about calling Jon Gruden a genius, Tampa is one of the best positive surprises in the league this year with the Browns and Packers. Do not be surprised to see the Bucs come into the RCA dome this weekend and leave with a win.

As for Denver, let's go Rockies! I'm actually rooting for Philly because I picked them to win the Series (over the Angels), but you have to give all the credit in the world to Clint Hurdle, GM Dan O'Dowd, and the scout/player development staff. Their lineup is almost entirely home-grown, and the only team to score more runs than their 860 was Division Series opponent Philadelphia with 892. Should be a fun series.

Fantasy Impact: Keep an eye on Marvin Harrison's health. Regardless of what you read, Anthony Gonzalez might be worth a pickup for a few-week stash. And you should obviously target Kenton Keith, who might have a two- or three-week run as the luckiest man in the world.

Seth Doria is a freelance writer based out of St. Louis. For the only daily column that mixes sports, politics, and entertainment news in one, visit The Left Calf.

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 11:33 AM | Comments (0)

Captain Tiger Woods?

Jack Nicklaus has a 2-1-1 record as captain of the American team in the Presidents Cup. His latest accomplishment as a captain came this week at Royal Montreal when his American team beat the International squad 19.5 to 14.5. The Golden Bear has been constantly lauded by his players for his relaxed approach to the matches and allowing the players to determine their playing companions and positions in the competition. The result has been two consecutive American victories and a tie in South Africa against the odds.

Nicklaus' success as captain of the Presidents Cup team has led some in the media to wonder why the PGA of America — operator of the Ryder Cup — has not contacted him about being the captain of the American squad for that format, as well. Nicklaus responded to those suggestions by saying that he would certainly answer the call if he was asked. That would have to wait, though, since Paul Azinger is already the captain for the 2008 Ryder Cup to be played at Valhalla next September.

While I would love for Nicklaus to become the next Ryder Cup captain, the PGA of America has made a commitment to installing captains that are much closer to the age of players on the team. For whatever reason, the PGA feels that captains that are not too far away from their prime days on the PGA Tour would be best able to identify the talent needed for making captain's picks selections and pairing players together. Despite evidence to the contrary in Nicklaus, the PGA of America is likely to continue selecting players with current PGA Tour status as captains.

Keeping the selection criteria in mind, I would like to make a proposal. Tiger Woods should become the Ryder Cup captain in 2010. That's right. I am proposing that Tiger Woods become player captain for the American squad in their next trip to Europe. It sounds a little crazy, right? Let me explain why it is not all that nutty of an idea.

Tiger Woods fits the age criteria. While Woods will not be in his 40s when 2010 rolls around, he will be age 35. He certainly will still be an active player on the PGA Tour (well, his version of active) and has a great eye for player capabilities. Woods consistently beats every opponent thrown his way, so he almost certainly is forced to evaluate what each does well and what they could stand to improve upon in the Ryder Cup format.

Woods certainly more than meets the threshold for player accomplishment in order to qualify as captain. He has 13 majors and 61 PGA Tour victories to his credit to date. It is very likely that he will have at least several more by 2010. Outside of those 13 majors, Woods has an impeccable amateur match play record and has done extremely well in professional singles match play competition. He knows the format and knows what it takes to win.

I mentioned the performance of Woods in the majors over the course of his career. It is not out of the question that Woods could win his 19th major championship in the 2010 season. Golf World writer Ron Sirak proposed the idea and I've covered it in my blog. With the major championship venues of the next three seasons, Woods will probably be holding up a lot of trophies. What a great opportunity it would be for the PGA of America to ride on the coat tails of Woods' achievement. It would also provide a chance for Woods to put a feather in the cap of his career by captaining the Americans to a victory in the same year — were the stars to align properly, of course.

For Woods to be a player captain would be unprecedented territory in the modern format of the Ryder Cup. Though player captains were commonplace in the competition into the 1960s, there has not been an American player captain since Arnold Palmer in 1975. The King was also player captain in 1963, making Jerry Barber the last man other than Palmer to fill the role (1961). Even though captains in recent years have been of playing age, they have not been at the point in their careers where they could legitimately have a shot at making their own team. Perhaps it is time to entertain the idea again of naming a captain that could be playing for himself. In the case of Woods, there would be almost no doubt that he would make the team and would signify another achievement that Woods would have that his idol would not.

Is what I'm proposing likely? Of course not. It's probably impossible. The truth is, though, that the current selection criteria for the Ryder Cup captaincy are just not working for the United States. Since 1983, the USA is 4-7-1 and are losers of three in a row. Drastic change may have to be made if what Captain Azinger has done does not result in an American win. So, just in case that does not happen, I implore the PGA of America to keep this idea on file. I would guarantee that the most fiery competitor golf may very well have ever seen would not let his team lose five in a row.

Posted by Ryan Ballengee at 11:21 AM | Comments (2)

October 2, 2007

Chaos on Campuses

Colorado making the National League playoffs by winning 14 of 15, including a one-game playoff comeback on a Hall-of-Fame closer. The Mets' horrific collapse. The Steelers and Ravens being shocked by the Cardinals and Browns.

And yet the week in those sports seem outright mundane compared to the corresponding week of college football.

Outside of USC and LSU, it looks like everyone was just guessing when they filled out their preseason top-10 after this week. Five of this week's top 10 teams in the land fell.

No realistic prognosticator thought he had everything right. But after the most turbulent week of college football in recent memory, you have to wonder if pollsters and experts were just picking schools out of a hat.

Even USC and LSU were unimpressive this week, with Trojan mistakes resulting in enough laundry on the field to jam an industrial-sized drier, and with LSU allowing Tulane to stick around way longer than expected. But they are still the model of consistency of college football right now. Wisconsin, meanwhile has to be the ugliest team to ever have the longest running winning streak in the nation, but they, too, have survived.

Everyone else in the preseason Associated Press top 10 has already face-planted like Matt Holiday at home plate. West Virginia's eight-cylinder running offense blew a transition for the second-straight year against South Florida. And sportswriters are running out of synonyms and metaphors for porous, soft, and pathetic to describe Louisville's defense, which has blown games to Kentucky and (cough) Syracuse.

Texas bit the dust against Kansas State; like West Virginia/USF, it was an upset Part Deaux. Oklahoma looked dominant against weaklings before sleepwalking through the fourth quarter against another Big 12 North team, Colorado. By the way, this all leads up to this week's Red River slap-fight in Dallas ... I'm pumped.

Michigan: do I really need to go into them?

And in the SEC, Florida follows up a near flop against Ole Miss by finishing the choke-job against Auburn. A week after the Tigers were beaten by lowly Mississippi State.

And yeah, powerhouse LSU accounts for Virginia Tech's lone loss. But they were absolutely torched, and seven-point wins over ECU and UNC are hardly validating.

So we are left to pick through the rubble of the college football landscape after the week's nuclear fallout, trying to salvage what is left of what we thought we knew about the sport.

Outside the (former) top 10, sanity is no more safe. The Big 12 North is in general better than the South, Cincinnati and South Florida are 5-0 while Notre Dame is 0-5, Illinois is 2-0 in the Big Ten while Penn State is 0-2, and Iowa State can't beat Toledo, Northern Iowa or Kent State, but managed to take down the rival Iowa Hawkeyes. Nothing makes sense to me anymore.

That said, I will hold my breath and throw out a top 10 ... for now.

1. USC — Even the best teams are going to have an ugly win or five this year. While the home slate is not daunting, visits to Tempe, Eugene, and Berkley will make the Trojans earn a spot in New Orleans. And the way this season is going, they could even lose one of them.

2. LSU — No, I'm not bumping the Tigers over USC for a win over any team from the state of Louisiana. They get better competition in practice. Think not? If you could go to LSU on scholarship, would you be playing football at Tulane? Also, this team has the easiest road to 12-0 out there, especially if they dispatch Florida Saturday.

3. Cal — The Golden Bears showed poise in a tough environment. This team is a legitimate national title contender. DeSean Jackson is a Heisman-caliber player. And visits to Arizona State, UCLA, and Washington (not to mention the arrival of a Trojan Horse Nov. 10) will make Cal and Jackson prove it.

4. Ohio State — Jim Tressell can build up a defense so fast the Pentagon should hire him. And they are pummeling the Big Ten ... well, if you still consider Northwestern and Minnesota the Big Ten.

5. Boston College — The Eagles have solid wins over Wake Forest and Georgia Tech. And while they haven't blown anyone out, they have been consistent, winning by at least 10 each week. And the ACC isn't quite as bad as everyone thinks; Virginia Tech, Wake, Virginia, Miami, Georgia Tech, Clemson, Florida State, and Maryland are have respectable wins in a league that especially reflects the parity of the sport at-large.

6. South Florida — I will continue to give the Bulls props until they lose, if for no other reason than to resist punishing them for having literally no history. They make Rutgers look like a storied program. They do have a veteran quarterback, a defense that can slow Steve Slaton, a ton of grit stemming from that chip on their shoulders reminiscent of 2006 Rutgers, and I've said enough good things about them to justify the ranking in this muddled picture. That said, this team is not going undefeated. Then again, there is a chance no one will.

7. Wisconsin — Talk about an undefeated team here almost by default. One-score games with UNLV, Michigan State, Iowa ... can they beat anyone with a sense of conviction? The later two were at home, and Iowa State and Indiana have beaten the Hawkeyes.

8. Oregon — This is still a good team. And if Dennis Dixon doesn't forget what color his team is wearing, the Ducks are where Cal is at No. 3. He looked like a different quarterback throwing the ball against the Golden Bears. In a bad way.

9. South Carolina — Like Virginia Tech, their only loss is to LSU. The coaches' poll still has them well below a Georgia team they beat. Of the one loss teams, there aren't many better.

10. Oklahoma — Think the Sooners received their wake-up call in Boulder? I think so. I pity the next team on their slate. Texas, which had showed a lot more warning signs before their embarrassing loss this week, may get mauled in Dallas.

But hey, as we have shown, these are educated guesses. At best. Half these teams will probably lose next week anyway just to spite anyone trying to make sense of last week's mess. Seriously, we have South Florida, Kentucky and Boston College in the AP top 10 right now ... can anyone call this anything but anarchy?

Meanwhile, Oregon (still a good team after Cal loss), Missouri (undefeated element of that Big 12 North), Arizona State (also unblemished), and Florida (still very dangerous) are waiting in the wings for the next time the college football world gets dropped on its head for a week.

Posted by Kyle Jahner at 11:21 AM | Comments (2)

Ex-Slugger Remains Key in Urban Renewal

It has been quite the spring and summer 2007 seasons for fans of all three major professional sports leagues, but sadly, for many of the wrong reasons. As fans have been inundated with stories of crimes, misdemeanors, and the ethical transgressions by society's ordained role models, even including those who officiate and manage games, it is but refreshing to step back and revisit a former player who more recently reappeared on the radar.

Former Major League Baseball player Mo Vaughn actually may prove more exemplary in his post-playing career than he was during his 12 years on a baseball diamond. In August 2007, he was featured on ESPN's "Outside the Lines," following brief reports in Sports Illustrated and the New York Post, among other news outlets, recalling his latest ventures. But the publicity he received sold short the true essence and importance of the work Mr. Vaughn is doing and the mission on which he remains. As such, it deserves more in-depth coverage than that of just a feel-good story.

Most ardent baseball fans will remember Mo as the burly, intimidating first baseman who played for the Boston Red Sox from 1991 until 1998, during which time he was the 1995 American League MVP, with a .336 batting average, 39 home runs, and 113 RBI in that year, while steering the Red Sox to postseason berths in both 1995 and 1996. He also, however, was singled out as having one of the most lucrative contracts in MLB at the time, earning $18.3 million over his last three years with the BoSox.

Mo also helped sell a lot of newspapers over his 12-year career, starting with the rift he had with Red Sox management in 1997 and 1998, more so than his stellar 1995 season in Boston. He then chose to sign as a free agent with the Anaheim Angels in 1998, which paid him a guaranteed $88 million through the 2004 season. At that time, it became the highest MLB contract ever offered. But Mo was plagued with injuries in both the 1999 and 2000 seasons and was on the disabled list for the entirety of 2001. He never lived up to his previous star billing. Relations with the Angels organization became strained and Mo left on less than stellar terms there, as well.

The Angels were more than glad to trade Mo to the New York Mets for pitcher Kevin Appier, who helped them to earn a World Series Championship in 2002. And the Mets accommodated Mo with a three-year, $42 million contract, partially subsidized by the Angels, but fully insured. Mo welcomed the trade to NY in a new league, where he expected to play through 2004, but it never came to pass.

Still recovering from biceps surgery in 2001 and additionally dealing with chronic knee and hamstring problems made many NY fans skeptical of the signing of Vaughn by former Mets GM Steve Phillips, now making his living as a baseball analyst for ESPN. As feared, Mo wound up playing poorly in 2002 and in only 27 games in 2003 before being diagnosed with a permanently damaged knee, only repairable with a knee replacement, thus ending his career. Mets executives felt Mo did not do enough to keep his weight under control, which they believed was a contributing factor to his injuries.

But despite his truncated career, he had impressive stats as a three-time all-star and AL MVP, with 328 career home runs and a .293 lifetime batting average. Mo Vaughn was Big Papi before Big Papi was Big Papi. He was an imposing figure in the batter's box and had a commanding presence in any lineup. Had he stayed healthy and continued to produce, Mo could have had a Hall of Fame career.

And both Mo's fans and critics are likely to have a difficult time in finding fault with what appears to be his true calling, in providing hope and facilitating life altering changes in the lives of thousands of inner city residents. While many current and former athletes do donate funds for worthwhile causes, it is more along the lines of charity dinners and celebrity golf tournaments. But Mo has transcended his celebrity lifestyle and has rededicated his life's goals.

Since 2005, Mo Vaughn has invested his time, resources, and goodwill in rebuilding housing projects left to decay by slumlords and ignored by local government agencies, leaving law-abiding residents to fend for themselves. The collateral damage of such negligence and the oft-ignored outcry from those in these impoverished communities caught Mo's attention. Mo and his partner, his former lawyer-agent, Eugene Schneur, who both own and operate Omni New York, LLC, have taken on deteriorated housing developments, primarily in New York City, which have gone decades without adequate maintenance or services. The sole objective is to restore them by giving them back to their deserved communities.

Mo grew up in Connecticut, went to prep school in Pawling, NY and then played college baseball for three years at Seton Hall College in New Jersey, so he is quite familiar with the tri-state NY area. But what Mo did not necessarily know was how many people in housing projects for lower income residents have been living in squalor, without security in drug-infested neighborhoods, while suffering from problems with such basic services as running water, heat, or working elevators in high-rise buildings.

One of the main complaints fans have about their sports heroes is that they either forget where they came from, or have no inkling about the communities for which they play, some of which are in deplorable condition mere blocks from the stadiums in which they play. The chicken banquet circuit is fine, but it nowhere nearly supplants the real work needed to be done in such communities all across the country, where more often than not, "blighted communities" are being bought up by real estate moguls who turn them into multi-million dollar complexes for the rich, in what were once flourishing working class neighborhoods, made up of regular folk.

Since teaming up with Schneur at the end of 2004, Vaughn has closed on numerous projects with the City of NY, and in Westchester, Nassau, and Seneca counties in NY State. Omni has creatively crafted contracts in collaborating with numerous federal, state and local government agencies and various government programs in order to secure financing for their renovation projects. The federal agency, the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD), the NY State Division of Housing, and Community Renewal (SDHCR) and the Housing Development Corporation (HDC) of New York City are but some of the agencies with which Omni has relationships. Municipal and industrial bonds, tax abatements, tax credits, and tax-free loans are additional sources of funding.

Omni NY has proven to be quite a success since 2005 with Vaughn more than living up to his promises, having renovated over 1,500 individual housing units in NYC alone. He stresses security and safety first for tenants and installs state-of-the-art security cameras along with employing the necessary security personnel. His promise is also not to displace tenants during renovations that include replacing boilers, plumbing, roofing, windows, building facades, elevators, installing new appliances, kitchen cabinets, floor tiles, and renovated lobbies and common areas. Vaughn's Omni is a true example of how Public Private Partnerships (PPP) should work.

Omni's hope is to expand its sites beyond NY to parts of Boston, MA and Miami, FL in 2007 and into 2008 and has looked at numerous other states, as well, collaborating with other developers. "It is the mission of Omni NY to ensure that people are able to live in decent, quality housing and have a sense of pride where they live," says Vaughn. And his style is not to make a fast buck and disappear, but to continue to manage each of the properties he restores in order to ensure that both the properties and the tenants are protected and serviced adequately into the future.

In addition, Vaughn as become a social director of sorts, applying for grants in theses communities where after-school programs for school children are held on the properties, along with vocational skills programs for young adults and those forced to change careers in mid-life.

It is obvious that Omni NY is unique in scope and in fulfilling its goals in the way it structures its deals in the best interest of people. But more importantly, Mo Vaughn has become a facilitator on behalf of those individuals in communities which have no voice or have lost their way in negotiating through bureaucratic minefields in order to maintain decent lives. And in that respect, perhaps Mo Vaughn has found his niche and is filling a vital need where government has failed its obligations.

In conclusion, whatever disappointments Mo may have been to fans or to the organizations for which he played, not unlike other players who fail to remain healthy or play past their prime, he may prove to be far more valuable an asset now that he is out of baseball. For as he says, "I don't know how people view me, but we know we are doing the right thing here, and that's what it's all about. I want to make a difference."

Makes one think — when God made Mo, the mold may have finally been broken.

Posted by Diane M. Grassi at 11:14 AM | Comments (0)

October 1, 2007

An American's Sports Odyssey Into Soccer

On September 15, I awoke to the sound of the typical digital alarm clock at the stroke of 7 AM on a Saturday morning. Unlike most days, however, the alarm was more than welcome.

After all, it would soon be time for my beloved Tottenham Hotspur to pick up their first win over beyond-arch-rival Arsenal in eight years in the game known as the North London Derby (pronounced "darby").

Despite Spurs' (as they are colloquially known) poor start to the season which saw just one win from five games, a win in this game would put the collective paddles to their hearts with over 30 matches still left in the English Premier League season.

College football be damned for this Saturday, another form of football over 3,000 miles was the highlight of my sports weekend.

By half-time, Spurs were up 1-0 over Arsenal thanks to a free kick by 18-year old Welsh phenom wonderkid Gareth Bale, one of the few players in Tottenham's $100 million summer transfer spending spree to make an impact.

The first half wasn't without signs of impending doom. Arsenal's flowing, attacking short passing game had created opportunities on Spurs' dodgy defense and perhaps even dodgier goalkeeper Paul Robinson.

And indeed, Spurs ultimately fell at home 3-1. Two goals from striker Togolese striker Emmanuel Adebayor and one from Spanish midfielder Cesc Fabregas had done them in.

The loss was a microcosm of the atrocious season thus far, with bad goal-keeping, horrible defending on set pieces (free kicks and corner kicks), and absolutely clear everything-short-of-just-giving-you-the-goal scoring opportunities being missed by Spurs.

College football be damned, this was the low-light of my sports weekend.

I came into my soccer loving own sometime in late 2002, when I was channel surfing one weekend morning and happened upon FOX Sports World (now FOX Soccer Channel), which was to me and my friends the late night rugby union, rugby league, and Aussie rules channel, as I only became interested in soccer as a sports fan about once every four summers for the World Cup.

I decided to watch this game I happened upon and quickly I noticed one of the teams as Manchester United, one of the only soccer clubs I had heard of at the time. They ended up hanging four or five goals on some inferior team, and so naturally, by default, I became a Man United fan.

This, however, would have been like watching the Yankees destroy the Devil Rays 10-0 in some random game in 1998. And quickly I discovered that Man U was the overwhelmingly dominant force in English football for a good decade before I just happened across them one morning. And something felt very dirty and bandwagon jumping about that.

Those that follow the sport from the States will usually tell you when asked for advice on which team to support will usually say one of two things: their team, or to watch a bunch of games and whatever team you end up rooting for on multiple occasions is your team.

In those early seasons of me blindly following Man United, I found myself starting to root for Tottenham Hotspur, a North London team that had great successes in earlier times, but had fallen on hard days in recent years. The club seemed to have more passionate fans that those of Manchester United, and there was no bandwagon jumping factor anywhere to be found.

Moreover, the process of becoming a fan just happened naturally, as it did with the other team in world soccer I support, AC Milan, who I ended up naturally rooting for just a few weeks after stumbling upon the hated juggernaut of Manchester United.

The calendar and time zone issue makes following the highest levels of the sport from this side of the pond particularly interesting, or if you prefer, difficult.

Just about every summer, in the offseason for the top European leagues, I vow to take my soccer-watching experience to a new high, watching as many games as is humanly possible. The start of the club season comes in mid-August, meaning there is not yet football (yes, the American version) on the docket to overshadow my soccer obsession.

When the football season does start, I am usually able to keep up with soccer in a large way, and for the last couple of years, not miss a beat at all. Then, in November, with football still in full stride, the college and pro basketball seasons start, and the sport that is in my blood even more so than football puts soccer to the de facto back-burner.

Sure, I'll download the highlight packages and watch an occasional game in the months from November to early February, but it's nothing like the joy (or misery, see: Tottenham 2007-08) that the opening months of European soccer give me.

Then, once the Super Bowl comes and passes, and football is an end, it is almost my ticket to jump right into a giant, beautiful, yummy sports pot of nothing but soccer (the club season rolls all the way from August to May) and basketball for the next four and a half months.

This year, however, will be different. After that first ball is tipped off on TNT or ESPN in early November, signaling the start of basketball, that will be my sign to watch "The Beautiful Game" more religiously that ever during the winter months. Or at least I can think as much.

Posted by Ross Lancaster at 11:55 AM | Comments (0)

Answering the NFC's FAQs

Bill Parcells has given me my favorite quote of all-time, saying of QB Tony Romo, "Let's not get out the anointing oils just yet," after Romo had a good game early in his career. I have incorporated it into my daily life, using it any time I feel like someone is overreacting to any given situation. It never fails to get a laugh.

Parcells also had another, less comical, saying that also stuck with me: "You are only as good as your record."

He's absolutely right. It really doesn't matter what the stats say or what kind of bad luck you might have, after four games you've had plenty of time to impose your will on teams. A team's record at this point gives a good indication of how well they've played so far.

That doesn't mean that teams have fully revealed their true colors yet. There are still plenty of questions surrounding each team. Luckily, I've had my finger on the pulse of NFL cities and I have taken the time to answer some of the fans frequently asked questions for each team in the NFC, with AFC questions answered later in the week.

NFC WEST

ARIZONA CARDNIALS (2-2)
Who is our quarterback?

Your quarterback is Kurt Warner. Or Matt Leinart. Until they figure it out, the Cards will just switch it up every couple drives. It even looks ridiculous when I type that. I can't believe Ken Wisenhunt is actually using the revolving door QB system. It's even harder to believe that it actually worked against the Steelers. Wisenhunt better figure something out in the next two weeks against St. Louis and Carolina, because they follow those games up with a stretch of three games against teams with only one loss (Washington, Tampa Bay, and Detroit).

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (2-2)
Wasn't Darrell Jackson supposed to be a number one receiver?

I think so. They didn't exactly give him Nate Clemons money (Clemens had his first INT with the Niners Sunday), but I'm quite sure that he got more than the going rate for someone who is averaging just 51 yards per game and hasn't scored a touchdown yet. It's not his fault that the passing game has been terrible, but the best thing for a young QB is to have a go-to guy. Jackson was brought in to be that guy, and so far, he hasn't stepped up. Judging by Trent Dilfer's performance Sunday against Seattle, if Alex smith is out for any extended period of time, the 49ers will have quite an early pick to address this need in April.

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (3-1)
Are we going to win the division again?

Definitely. If it wasn't for a botched handoff against the Cardinals they'd be undefeated. Both the 49ers and Cardinals look better than they did a year ago, but neither has advanced to the point that they are better than the Seahawks. Unless Shaun Alexander's injury is more serious than the team is letting on, there is no way I can see this team not winning the division.

ST. LOUIS RAMS (0-4)
Can we have Mike Martz back?

Actually, wouldn't this be an interesting scenario? Let's say that the Rams finish with two wins this season and finish with the top overall pick. They fire Scott Linehan after the season and bring Martz back from Detroit. Then they draft a quarterback with the first pick, let him play one year as the backup to Marc Bulger and learn the system, and start year two of the second Martz regime with a year under his belt and a coach who insists on throwing every play.

If it wasn't for the whole fans-and-management-both-despise-him angle, I'd say this might actually work.

NFC NORTH

DETROIT LIONS (3-1)
What would Jesus do?

Not only did God perform a miracle and allow Jon Kitna to return from a concussion and lead the Lions to a come from behind victory against Minnesota, it must have also been Him on the opposite end of the green dot sending in the plays in the fourth quarter as the Lions put up an NFL-record 34 points in the final quarter of play Sunday to defeat the Bears. Playing in the worst division in the league and having the man upstairs on your side is a pretty good combination. If they weren't the Lions, I'd say that they have a decent chance of making the playoffs for the first time since 1999.

CHICAGO BEARS (1-3)
Who is our quarterback?

Stop copying Arizona. And your quarterback is Brian Griese. Lovie Smith made it clear that the change was from Grossman was permanent. Then he showed his confidence by allowing Griese to throw 52 times Sunday, with predictably ill-fated results. Chicago is a team that has made a living the last few years winning in spite of, not because of, their quarterback. They played without four defensive starters Sunday. If they can get healthy and start holding teams to around 13 points per game again, they can still comeback by going back to playing for a Devin Hester special teams TD and one big play. Although I guess the more you look at it, that wasn't such a good strategy after all. Maybe the clock has officially started ticking on the Bears' run.

MINNESOTA VIKINGS (1-3)
Is it a good thing when your best player is a rookie?

Not at all. Adrian Peterson has been really good this season, and I like how they are using him. But it says something about your team when your most consistent player is a rookie. There are plenty of holes on this team, but at least they have one less position to upgrade. Only 21 more left to improve.

GREEN BAY PACKERS (4-0)
Does Brett Favre have another Super Bowl run left in him?

Only the state of Wisconsin and maybe John Madden would think so. Favre has been outstanding this year, but a deep playoff run seems unlikely. They've squeaked out some close games against bad teams, but your new touchdown king is also the interception king. Overall, Favre is going to make more plays than mistakes with his risk taking. He has his entire career. But he's not going to be as good all season as he is right now and he's probably not going to be as bad as most had predicted. Good teams are going to make him pay for his mistakes, and his supporting cast isn't good enough or experienced enough to pickup the slack. Things could even out quickly with games against play-making defenses like Chicago, Washington, and Denver coming up.

NFC SOUTH

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (0-3)
What is the world is wrong?

Everything. The offense got worse. The defense got worse. Deuce McAllister is done for the year. What a perfect time for a bye week. Normally, I don't think it is good to have the first bye week because that means you have a longer stretch of games than everyone else that you have to keep everyone healthy. But this team desperately needed a week to regroup, refocus, reenergize, or whatever you want to call it. Anything but a winning streak right now spells disaster for this season.

ATLANTA FALCONS (1-3)
There wasn't much we could do about this, right?

NFL coaches are as meticulous a group of people as you'll ever meet. But I'm not sure that there is any team in the league who was a game plan for "What to do in case your franchise quarterback gets arrested right before training camp." You take your medicine for signing Joey Harrington and move on to next year.

CAROLINA PANTHERS (2-2)
Where'd Steve Smith go?

Smith has dropped a few balls the past two weeks, so he is certainly contributing to his own lack of production. But how can he put up such huge numbers with Jake Delhomme in and completely disappear with David Carr at QB? Aren't they running the same offense that gets him the ball all the time when Delhomme is in there? Sorry to answer your question with a question, but that one stumps me, too.

TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS (3-1)
Is our defense back to the level it was at a few years ago?

We'll find out this week when you travel to Indy. If you can continue to dominate that side of the ball against the Colts, then I'll be a believer. If not, the reality may be that you played some bad teams and are in for a dose of reality the next three games when the Colts, Titans, and Lions line up in front of you.

NFC EAST

New York Giants (2-2)
Which weighs us down more: our coach, quarterback, running game, or defense?

Manning has put up decent but not great numbers. The running backs have scored a few touchdowns, but haven't exactly been Thunder and Lightning all over again. The defense had been brutal for three weeks, then came out and put up an NFL-record 12 sacks in Week 4. Tom Coughlin seems to have the ultimate love/hate relationship with his team (with more emphasis on the latter), but somehow keeps them afloat every year. I guess when you have inconsistency from top to bottom, you find yourself only able to win half the time. That would explain 8-8 last year and 2-2 this year.

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (1-3)
Do you think Kevin Curtis secretly has issues with the stereotypes about white wide receivers, but doesn't want to steal Donovan McNabb's thunder?

Yes.

WASHINGTON REDSKINS (2-1)
Were the first two games a fluke, or was it a fluke loss against the Giants?

Washington has been the toughest team a get a feel for. They had the bye in Week 4, so they have only played three games, two of which were very close and could have gone either way. They went 1-1 in those games. If QB Jason Campbell can minimize his mistakes, they have a chance to win a lot of close games with that defense and running game. If not, they'll lose to teams they should beat like they did against New York. I'm going to give my magic eight-ball answer here and tell you to ask again later.

DALLAS COWBOYS (4-0)
Are we a legitimate contender in the NFC?

I've got no reason to assume otherwise. They have the best average margin of victory in the league for any team besides the Patriots. They have the second highest rated quarterback. They have a lethal running back combo in Julius Jones and Marion Barber III. They have one of the best tight ends in the league. They have one of the best wide receivers in the league when he is behaving. They have a play-making defense. But with all that being said, there are still 12 games left. A lot can happen in that time.

Let's not get the anointing oils out just yet.

Posted by Scott Shepherd at 11:12 AM | Comments (0)