With so much action, who has time for intros?
New England 38, Buffalo 7: Three games, 38 points per. Anybody still want to argue Randy Moss for a fourth-rounder was a bad move?
(I know. You're out there. "Sold their soul," you said. "Killed their chemistry." Yeah, sure. Look away. That's fine.)
As for Buffalo, it looks like they're the winners of this year's Cursed From the Start (CFS) award. Having just witnessed a massive CFS with the St. Louis Cardinals, you have my full empathy. Get well Keith Ellison, Ryan Denney, Kevin Everett (love the story of recovery here), Ko Simpson, Jason Webster, Coy Wire, Terrence McGee, Jason Whittle, Paul Posluszny and J.P. Losman.
Fantasy Impact: If you wanted to know what it would be like if Dallas' Marion Barber got 20 carries per game, look to Buffalo, where Marshawn Lynch runs with the same power and aggression that makes Barber so effective in the red zone. The number against the Pats weren't gaudy (20 for 74 and a TD), but they were extremely impressive considering the situation.
Jacksonville 23, Denver 16: It's football season and the hottest team in Denver isn't the Broncos. It's the Colorado Muthaflippin' Rockies! Not only did they sweep San Diego, a team that had won seven straight, at PETCO, they played Saturday and Sunday without should-be MVP Matt Holliday. Let me repeat that for emphasis: the Colorado Rockies swept a road series against the hottest team in the majors in the last 10 days of a pennant race. One game out of the playoffs with six to go.
Also, that was one weird decision by Mike Shanahan going for it on 4th-and-5 from their own nine with more than four minutes left. Even after the defense held, Jacksonville still had a chip shot to make it a two-possession game.
Fantasy Impact: In addition to his 150 yards passing, Jacksonville QB David Garrard ran 12 times for 52 yards. If you remove the three kneel-downs at the end for -5, it's 9 for 57, including 5 rushes for first downs (once on fourth down, twice on third, twice on second). Plus, he had a seven-yard TD run in the first quarter called back.
It's not as though the Jaguars receiving corps was rated highly anyway, but this is just further proof Matt Jones and Reggie Williams have completely fallen into bust status (from a fantasy perspective at least). Garrard, on the other hand, could be good for 4-6 rushing TDs this year. The Jags are off this week before playing at KC in Week 5. Garrard is worth a look.
Dallas 34, Chicago 10: Quote from last week's In the Box: "I'm going to say it every single week until it happens: the Bears should start Brian Griese."
The Bears should start Brian Griese.
Fantasy Impact: What's a fantasy owner to think of the Bears D right now? They gave up 34 at home in a prime time game. Mike Brown is gone and Adam Archuletta is playing like Adam Archuletta (always making the tackle because the other guy always catches it). Lance Briggs, Nathan Vasher, and Tommie Harris all left the game prematurely and, all of a sudden, trips to Detroit and Green Bay the next two weeks are looking a lot less favorable.
Green Bay 31, San Diego 24: Talk about two teams with opposite demeanors. Brett Favre is in a total zone and the defense has more than held its own against playoff-caliber offenses in Philadelphia, New York, and San Diego. The Chargers, meanwhile, can't run on offense (LaDainian Tomlinson with a 2.3 yards per rush average) or stop the pass on defense (648 yards with 6 TD and 1 INT combined by Favre and Tom Brady the last two).
With that said, it's time to pull out the guarantee for San Diego. I guarantee somebody on the Chargers will guarantee a victory over Kansas City on Sunday. And I guarantee they'll be right.
Fantasy Impact: If there's a silver lining to the Chargers' woes, it's that Vincent Jackson is turning into a legit receiving threat. Antonio Gates is going to put up his numbers no matter what (11 catches for 113 yards on Sunday), but if Jackson brings it consistently like he did against Green Bay (6 for 98 and a TD), the Chargers offense will have a whole new dimension.
Kansas City 13, Minnesota 10: Don't think it's a coincidence the Chiefs get their first win the same week they get back DE Jared Allen after a two game suspension. With 8 tackles and 2 sacks against the Vikings, Allen makes an okay defense a very good defense. Against a team with Kelly Holcomb at quarterback, that's enough to get you the W.
With that said, this win by no means put the Chiefs out of the "top-five draft pick" woods. Simply put, the offense stinks. It stinks, I tell you.
Their first half drives on Sunday: three and out, three and out, three and out, Damon Huard fumble, three and out, FG (after getting the ball on the Minnesota 28).
Fantasy Impact: With Eddie Kennison down with a bad hamstring, the Chiefs needed somebody other than Tony Gonzalez to stand up. First-round pick Dwayne Bowe answered the call with 5 catches for 71 yards, including the game-winning TD. The Chiefs play at San Diego next week in the My Fantasy Running Back is Killing Me Bowl.
New York Jets 31, Miami 28: Great offenses or really weak defenses? Considering each team's two games prior to this Sunday (both winless), I'm going to hedge toward the latter. Still, kudos to Chad Pennington. He started to look like the guy everybody was so excited about when he came out of Marshall. He may have only passed for 124 yards, but he accounted for 3 TDs (2 pass, 1 run), only took one sack and avoided the costly mistake.
Fantasy Impact: Welcome back to relevance, Ronnie Brown. A bust so far this season (for a while now, really), Brown broke out with 112 yards rushing, another 99 receiving on 6 catches, and 3 TDs. Funny what happens when you don't give half his touches to Jesse Chatman.
Also, watch out for Ted Ginn. If you get points for the return game, Ginn is a viable candidate to break one for a TD next week against Oakland.
Philadelphia 56, Detroit 21: It had to be especially painful for Lions offensive coordinator Mike Martz to watch Kevin Curtis, a player he drafted and cultivated in St. Louis, tear him up with 11 catches, 221 yards and 3 TDs.
The guy I was promoting as Donovan McNabb's future go-to guy, Jason Avant, had 1 catch for 9 yards (though it was on 2nd-and-8 for a first down). I guess when the other team is cool with your wideouts running wide open down the middle of the field, there's not much need for a possession receiver. (What's that? Play fake? Never heard of it.)
Fantasy Impact: Speaking of former Rams draft picks, Shaun McDonald, drafted in the same Rams class as Curtis, had 5 receptions for 76 yards and a touchdown for the Lions. Chances are he's still available in your league.
Pittsburgh 37, San Francisco 16: The Steelers are really good. They are going to win the division.
With that said, I'll be interested to see how this no-pass Pittsburgh offense (only four teams have attempted fewer) operates against a defense capable of stopping the run. Fortunately for them, there aren't many teams like that on their schedule (Baltimore twice, at Denver, at New England, Jacksonville). But just because they can win without a passing game doesn't mean they should ignore it and just hope it's there when they need it.
Fantasy Impact: He's not going to go griping to the media, but you know it has to be killing Hines Ward to be an afterthought in the Steelers' revamped offense. He left the game with a bruised knee in the third quarter, but 1 catch for 2 yards? Are you serious? There's a reason Jeff Reed leads the league in field goals (9). It's because for all the rushing yards (lead the league), the Pittsburgh red zone offense is mediocre (at best) with a sub-40 TD percentage. With 60 career TDs, including three seasons with double digits, Ward is the answer. He's 31, not 41.
Baltimore 26, Arizona 23: Not even the looniest Kurt Warner loyalist (he's still got a following in St. Louis) would have expected him to go into a road game at Baltimore and light up the Ravens defense for over 250 yards and 2 TDs in a single half.
And now what?
You have to go back to Matt Leinart for Pittsburgh in Week 4. He's your QB of the future. It's one thing to bench him for the second half to get his head on straight (too much listening to Archie Manning), but you can't officially bump him from "starting quarterback" status without breaking the team. With Leinart likely to struggle again against the Steelers in Week 4, it will be interesting to see how first-time head coach Ken Whisenhunt deals with the situation.
Fantasy Impact: Speaking of backups, could Kyle Boller end up a legitimate starting fantasy QB? In back-to-back appearances, Boller has come in composed and moved the team down the field. Over the past two games, where he's been integral to Baltimore wins, he's completed 31-of-45 pass attempts (69 percent) for 268 yards and 2 TDs. Now consider the Ravens' next four games are @ Cleveland, @ San Francisco, St. Louis, @ Buffalo. If Steve McNair is out, Boller might actually be worth a start. Crazy.
Indianapolis 30, Houston 24: If Matt Schaub doesn't throw two killer second-half interceptions, Houston very likely wins this game. The first pick set up Indy at the Texans' 21 and led to a Colts TD. The other was on the first play after a big kick-off by Jacoby Jones gave the Texans the ball at the Colts' 18. That's at least a 10-point swing in a game they lost by six.
Still, putting up 24 on a very stingy Colts D is respectable for Houston, especially without either of your top two backs (for the most part) or go-to guy Andre Johnson. With games at Atlanta and home to Miami, they could be 4-1 heading into Jacksonville in Week 6.
Fantasy Impact: If Sunday was any indication, it looks like TE Owen Daniels is going to be the man for Schaub in Johnson's absence. After catching six passes in the first two games combined, he had 7 against Indianapolis.
Tampa Bay 24, St. Louis 3: Marc Bulger may still be standing, but he's broken. Not to take anything away from a very good Tampa defense, but Bulger's no-touchdown, three-pick performance was as much about his broken ribs and mental condition as it was the Bucs' scheme. His 35.6 QB rating was his worst since 2003. Tough to watch.
Fantasy Impact: You have to downgrade all Rams until Bulger either turns a corner (not likely in Week 4 at Dallas), or Gus Frerotte comes in and shows he can get the job done. Steven Jackson (30 carries for 114 yards) and the defense (only gave up 10 through three quarters) gave respectable efforts, but this Rams ship is sinking. Word that Jackson is out at least one week with a partial groin tear doesn't help. (Partial? If your groin is torn, it's torn. None of this partial nonsense.)
Oakland 26, Cleveland 24: Good to see the old Browns back, playing against the old Raiders, with a blocked FG deciding the outcome.
Fantasy Impact: LaMont Jordan has 69 carries through three games (tied for second most in the NFL), and we've already heard mentions of his back acting up. Against Miami in Week 4, he's money. But remember Dominic Rhodes comes off suspension after this week. Even if Jordan stays healthy, Rhodes will eat into Jordan's action. Now might not be a bad time to sell high on the big guy (or wait until after this weekend's game).
Seattle 24, Cincinnati 21: This team always seems to do just enough to lose. In Week 2, it was allowing Derek Anderson to throw 6 touchdowns. In Week 3, it was four turnovers (2 INT, fumbles by T.J. Houshmandzadeh and Glenn Holt), and allowing the opening kick-off to go for 74 yards, setting up Seattle's first TD. What's it going to be when they host New England next Monday night? Have you seen the Pats play? Marvin Lewis has to do something to get his guys' heads in the game.
Fantasy Impact: Rudi Johnson looks cooked. 17 carries for 9 yards is no way to go about living a happy and productive life.
Carolina 27, Atlanta 20: What in the hell happened to the Panthers' defense? 360 yards and 2 TDs to Joey Harrington? No sacks? Did Julius Peppers play? I didn't see his name in the box score.
(Yes. He did. He just didn't do anything.)
Fantasy Impact: From my preseason notes column August 13: "It looks like Harrington is focused on developing something with Roddy White."
White had 7 catches for 127 yards and a touchdown on Sunday. I'm not bragging. I just want you to remember that the next time somebody goes on a diatribe about how the pre-season is a sham. Just because it's over priced from a fan standpoint doesn't mean it doesn't matter.
New York Giants 24, Washington 17: Michael Strahan decided to give a crap and the Giants defense got a lot better. Imagine that.
(Sorry. I'm a tad bitter on this one.)
Fantasy Impact: Oh, the agony of picking up a fantasy starter off the waiver wire (Derrick Ward), only to have another guy steal his touchdowns (Reuben Droughns with two 1-yarders).
Tennessee 31, New Orleans 14: A lot of teams have things to be disappointed about. The Bills have their injuries. The Chargers have their failed expectations. The Rams have their broken quarterback.
But nothing — nothing — trumps the shock and disappointment in New Orleans. From the offensive line to Reggie Bush to Drew Brees to a horrible defense, this team is playing really bad football. To go from last year's revival, as sincere and heart-felt a connection you'll see between a franchise and fan base, to that trash performance ... man, that's almost too much to take. Those fans just looked hurt.
Also, that was the first time I watched Tony Kornheiser and wished somebody would run by and Taser him. Seriously, dude. It's one thing to discuss failed expectations. But to be giddy about it is just rude.
Fantasy Impact: Last year, Saints were fantasy saviors. Brees was magic. Deuce was a force. Reggie was electric. Now Brees has 7 picks to 1 TD, Reggie is running scared, and Deuce is out for the year with a torn ACL.
Bad voodoo. Baaaaaaaaad voodoo.
Seth Doria is a freelance writer based out of St. Louis. For the only daily column that mixes sports, politics, and entertainment news in one, visit The Left Calf.
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