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September 29, 2007

Double Fault For Coach, Columnist

It was going to take one hell of an effort to knock that "Leave Britney Alone" she-male off the viral video throne, but you have to give Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy credit for trying.

His petulant verbal assault on Jenni Carlson, a columnist for The Oklahoman who wrote a hit piece on a benched quarterback named Bobby Reid, ruled the airwaves on ESPN, and filled the inboxes of countless sports fans once it was digitized.

It was an epic performance, but I can only assume it was a performance and not an honest reaction to the column — any coach with a Midwestern-sized beef with a journalist would have had it out with said journalist in the privacy of his own office, flanked by the most hot-headed assistants he could yank off the practice field. The writer would sit in the room surrounded by a sense of creeping dread, like when Danny Ocean slowly scanned his holding cell in Terry Benedict's casino, observing, "No cameras in here, huh?"

It would be quick, it would be loud and it would shake that writer to his or her very soul. In other words, it would be effective.

But that wasn't the plan for Gundy. The plan was to administer a public flogging of a female sportswriter, a one-way conversation where one party gets to have all the screaming. To the general public, it played like Gundy‘s blustery audition for a Mamet play about college football. To the locker room, it was coach taking on the haters and defending the honor of his team.

To a sportswriter like me, it was the kind of scenario that plays out in your mind's eye nearly every time you have a controversial take about a team, coach or player, especially in-season. What happens the next time you're face-to-face in the locker room or the media center? Will they ignore it? Will they call you out on it? If faced with the kind of snarly dog that was slipped on Carlson in Oklahoma, what would your reaction be? Would you try and argue your stance? Would you take the bait and holler back? Or would you be so overwhelmed by the unpredictable fury of the moment that you look resemble an Easter Island statue holding a tape recorder?

I've never had the public dress-down, but I've gotten the coaches' office inquisition before.

My most notable instance was during the D.C. sniper shootings a few years back. I was covering high-school sports in Fairfax County, Virginia. The shootings had spread over into Northern VA, so public school officials began cancelling outdoor events, including football games. Since the southern part of the state was still playing ball under Friday night lights, the Northern Virginia teams had to find a way to continue their season, lest they begin forfeitures or a physically debilitating condensed schedule.

The decision was made to play a week of football games at undisclosed locations around Virginia in order to keep student-athletes out of harm's way: military bases, distant high schools, non-descript athletic facilities. The plan was to tell the parents where the games would be, but keep the media out of the loop — Lord knows the Fourth Estate might be in cahoots with Lee Boyd Malvo.

It was a silly, reactionary plan, made sillier by the fact that the snipers actually moved their base of operations that weekend downstate — literally. The Northern Virginia football officials had relocated games into the line of fire. One secondary school I covered had played their game and followed with a team dinner at a Ponderosa Steakhouse in the Central Virginia city of Ashland; hours after they left, the snipers shot a 37-year-old man in the parking lot of that same restaurant.

I broke the story about that team being put near harm's way, and wrote a column blasting the school system for its decision. That led to the head of high-school athletics in the country telling me over the phone that I was "dead" to him, and soon it led me into the coaches' office at the secondary school for a showdown.

After post-game interviews were completed one night, the head coach asked that I remain in his office; an assistant coach or two lingered behind as well. The next 20 minutes were a bellowing debate between a coach who was incensed with what was published and a writer fighting to make him understand the journalistic value in reporting it.

It raged for a bit before we finally agreed to disagree and I walked away. Done and done, and not a second of it made it onto the Internet.

Carlson wasn't so lucky. No matter what she writes for the rest of her career, Gundy's tirade will be echoing in the background.

Public sentiment wasn't exactly swung her way after the attack, either. Reading the beginning of her column explains why:

"Bobby Reid stood near the team charters last Friday night, using his cell phone, eating his boxed meal.

It would've been normal post-game activity but for one thing.

His mother was feeding him chicken."

She went on to make the case that Reid was benched by his coaches because ... well, because he's a mama's boy:

"There's something to be said for not being a malcontent, but you can almost see Reid shrugging his shoulders as he says those words. Does he have the fire in his belly?

Or does he want to be coddled, babied, perhaps even fed chicken?"

Let's forget, for a moment, Carlson's dime-store psychology in regards to a personal moment between a student-athlete and his mother (although one that Rajika Reid, the quarterback's mother, denies ever occurred). If Carlson did the responsible thing and asked them why mommy was flying the airplane into the hanger, it didn't make it into the column; we can only assume that Carlson took the coward's way out and used the moment to embarrass the kid rather than use it for any deeper understanding about his emotional make-up.

Let's instead concentrate on the biggest mistake Carlson made in her hack-tastic piece: she brought the mother into it.

You never bring the mother into it unless she belongs there, like Bonnie Lindros did back in the early 1990s. Rajika Reid didn't belong there; when Carlson included her as Exhibit A in her case against Bobby Reid's machismo, it undercut her legitimate critiques of his play.

Carlson's a pro — with the evidence (or hearsay) at hand, she could have sliced up Reid without using his mother as a narrative device. In a column muddled by poor decisions, that was the poorest.

Carlson and Gundy probably aren't going to be sharing a laugh about this situation over a few brews anytime soon, and that's a shame. I'd love to watch the next YouTube clip in which they dissect his calculated grandstanding and her ill-conceived prose.

While feeding each other chicken, of course.

Greg Wyshynski is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 11:08 AM | Comments (0)

September 28, 2007

Don't Forget About the Steelers

Even though the 2007 season is only three weeks young, so much has happened, for better or for worse. Brett Favre is an amazing warrior; the Patriots look scary good; the Colts are off to a solid title defense; Matt Schaub is playing up to expectations in Houston; the Cowboys have an explosive offense when Tony Romo is on his game; Rex Grossman is consistently inconsistent; and the Dolphins stink. Heck, "Ocho-Cinco" jumped in the Dawg Pound, only to have beer (and other objects) thrown at him, in a game where both teams combined for 96 points!

Those are the good things, but what is so interesting are the things we could not predict; the things that have went disastrously wrong in three weeks. Making a list that seems almost too long to read, let alone write. The Saints lose Deuce McAllister for the rest of the season and are winless through three weeks. The Bengals forgot how to play defense. The Cardinals make a furious comeback in a Week 3 game ... with Kurt Warner leading the charge.

Speaking of charge, the Chargers seem to have lost LaDanian Tomlinson and the defensive line at one of the local beaches. The Rams wish there were beautiful beaches in St. Louis, as to explain why Stephen Jackson seems to be missing. The Chiefs are thinking the same thing on the other side of Missouri, with Larry Johnson inexplicably missing, too. Back in California, Frank Gore is taking his team's name seriously, searching for golden riches, yet coming up with nothing. Oh, and I forgot about Donovan McNabb, and the roller-coaster season he is having, on and off the field.

What an entertaining three weeks. Of course, I did not even mention the recent Michael Vick indictment, Spygate, Pacman Jones serving his suspension, Tank Johnson joining the Cowboys, or LaMarcus Russell's holdout. With so many things to talk about, I can just as easily picked one of these issues, and analyzed it to death. Then again, if I did, then I could not sit here in awe about all that has happened in a short amount of time, while at the same time wondering how the Pittsburgh Steelers have quietly started the season 3-0.

Okay, so the last two months in the NFL have been entertaining and eventful, to say the least. Accordingly, I am not going to beat any of these issues to death. We have all been bombarded with saturated analyses of Vick's shenanigans, Tomlinson's lackluster play, Patriot dominance despite Spygate, the Saints' sputtering start, etc. I do not want to talk about these issues, and I am sure you do not want to read yet another article about the same. I do not want to talk stats. I do not want to discuss West Coast Offense. What I want to do is rant and rave about the Pittsburgh Steelers. So, take this article for what it is worth — my observations (above) and opinions (below). Feel free to chime in at the end.

Nonetheless, the Steelers are 3-0. If all goes as planned, the Steelers may be 5-0 very soon. Since I do not live in Pittsburgh, the thought of the Steelers keeping pace with the Colts and Patriots surprises me. Now, I am starting to have delusions of grandeur. I took another look at their schedule today; it does not seem as tough as the Patriots' or Colts'. I think the Steelers will actually be one of the best teams this season.

Perhaps I am jumping on the bandwagon a little too early, and maybe I will fall of the wagon very hard come Week 9. But I am going to make a bold statement: this year's AFC champion has to beat the Steelers. Okay, so that implies the Steelers will not be winning the Super Bowl, or even make the Super Bowl for that matter. I actually think the Patriots will take it all this year. Coincidentally, the Steelers visit New England in Week 14.

Yet, the Steelers are quietly making a case to win the AFC North, a division many may have thought belonged to the Ravens or Bengals. Judging by their schedule — and by the performances of other AFC teams such as the Chargers — Pittsburgh may very well be the third best team, behind only the Patriots and Colts. How fitting, considering these three teams have won five of the last last Super Bowls. Barring major injury — so far, only Hines Ward has been questionable with a sprained knee — the Steelers will have a say as to who does have a chance to play in Phoenix come February 8, 2008, even though they may not be playing on that day themselves.

It has been an interesting start for the Steelers. They are fresh off a "dominating" win over the 49ers, where Ben Roethlisberger completed 13-of-20 passes for 160 yards and a touchdown — hardly spectacular — and Willie Parker rushed for 133 yards. Overall, Roesthlisberger has thrown for 563 yards, with a 59.7 completion rate and 102.3 rating. Willie Parker is averaging 5 yards per rush, with 368 rushing yards. The defense has been spectacular, allowing only 27 points; the Steelers have yet to give up a first-half touchdown.

Of course, you have to take the Steelers' success with a grain of salt. Their first three opponents include the Browns, Bills, and 49ers, who they beat 34-7, 26-3, and 37-16, respectively. They visit the Cardinals next — a chance to improve to 4-0 — before heading home to play the team they beat in Super Bowl XL, the Seahawks. The Seahawks are not quite the same team they were two years ago, so it is very possible that the Steelers can go into their bye week in Week 6 undefeated.

Weeks 7 through 13 is a moderate schedule for the Steelers. Playing at Denver in Week 7 should be a decent challenge for the Steelers, while a Week 9 matchup against the Ravens will prove the first true challenge of the season for Pittsburgh. The Steelers face the Bengals twice in this period, yet with Cincinnati's porous defense, combined with the Steelers' stingy defense, the matchup no longer appears enticing, though it is not out of question that the Bengals may actually win one of the two games.

Yet, with a relatively favorable schedule through Week 13, the final four weeks will be a true test for the Steelers. They might as well start the playoffs on December 9th, when three of their final four games will be away from Pittsburgh, including a Week 14 matchup at New England. It may well be one of the defining games of the season. If the Patriots win, it may solidify their position at the standings, helping their case for home-field and a playoff bye week. If the Steelers win and the Patriots do not have their playoff position secure by Week 14, home-field in the AFC could be up for grabs, with the Colts, Steelers, and Broncos all potential suitors. Of course, both scenarios assume both teams hold their course and continue to win games over the next 10 weeks.

The Steelers finish the season with their final 2007 home game in Week 15 against the Jaguars — potentially another solid matchup — before traveling to St. Louis in Week 16 and finishing in Baltimore for Week 17. The Ravens/Steelers season finale may or may not have playoff implications, if not for who makes the playoffs, but how teams will seed, as both teams will probably finish atop the AFC North, with the winner of this game potentially having an edge entering the playoffs.

Overall, expect the Steelers to be no worse than 11-5. While such a record may be good for only fifth place in the ultra-competitive AFC, the Steelers can just as well end up 12-4 or maybe even dream to be 13-3. Weeks 7 through 13 will be big for the Steelers. They should enter their bye week no worst than 4-1, though 5-0 is very realistic. In the next seven games, the Steelers must beat the Jets, Dolphins, and Browns. Beating Denver would be nice, especially since it is a conference game, yet a loss to the Broncos will not be devastating, barring injury. With three games against the Bengals and Ravens in that stretch, the Steelers need to win at least two of those games to have any chance of taking the division. If they enter the Patriots game with a 10-2 record, then a loss to the Patriots will not throw the Steelers off-track, especially if they take care of business against the Jaguars and Rams in the following two weeks.

That would put the Steelers at 12-3 before playing in the finale at Baltimore, where anything goes. Win the game, and the Steelers would be 13-3, which should put them in no worst than third place in the AFC, depending on how the Patriots and Colts do — the only two AFC teams with a chance to have better records.

If the Steelers end up with a bye in the first week of the playoffs, they should be able to make it to the AFC Championship Game ... yet again. If not, it will be a tougher road, especially with Bill Cowher no longer on the sidelines, or Jerome Bettis no longer in the backfield or in the locker room. Nonetheless, while the road to the Super Bowl definitely passes through Indianapolis, and the team at the head of the pack includes the Patriots, do not count out the Steelers. They may not be a favorite to make it the Super Bowl this year. Yet, the AFC team that does make the Super Bowl will have to beat Pittsburgh along the way. Barring injuries, of course.

Posted by Parimal Rohit at 11:09 AM | Comments (6)

September 27, 2007

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 4

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Green Bay @ Minnesota (+1 1/2)

In the Packers' 31-24 win over the Chargers in Sunday's worship service at Lambeau Field, Brett Favre threw 3 touchdown passes, giving him 420 for his career, tying him with Dan Marino for the most in NFL history. "Brett Favre 420" read the headlines in local newspapers, Time, Newsday, The Sporting News, Sports Illustrated, as well as High Times, whose editors never pass up a chance to mention "4:20" and "Packer" in the same article. Favre is playing with a renewed sense of exuberance and new-found joy for the game, and coach Mike McCarthy has surrounded Favre with playmakers on both sides of the ball, something that has been lacking in Green Bay for some time.

"John Madden must be beside himself," says Favre, "which I guess doesn't leave room for Al Michaels in the booth. Things couldn't get much better for me right now, unless I get that call from Ben Stiller to make a cameo as the world's worst actor in There's Something About Mary 2: She's Gellin'. But my focus is on those metrosexuals in the Metrodome, coached by that metro-gnome Brad Childress. I know the Vikes have a good defense, but Coach has put together a pretty good squad here that I like to call 'Mc and Cheese.' That defense gives me the confidence and freedom to throw the ball anywhere. In the words of heavyweight boxer Randall 'Tex' Cobb, just before Larry Holmes pummeled him for 15 rounds, 'I'll sling leather, darlin'.''"

The Packer's lack of a running game may come back to haunt them down the road, but this week, it doesn't matter. You can't run against the Vikes, so why bother trying? But you can pass on them, which kind of defeats the purpose of having a great run defense, doesn't it? And with quarterbacks like Tavaris Jackson or Kelly Holcomb running the show, that kind of defeats the purpose of the defense even playing. After a scoreless first quarter, Favre hits Donald Driver for a score in the second, and passes Marino, and forever immortalizes Driver as the answer in the Trivial Pursuit board game. Favre then strains a back muscle lifting every single member of the Packers in celebration. Green Bay wins, 23-10.

Oakland @ Miami (-3 1/2)

Oakland should be very familiar with Miami quarterback Trent Green, who played for division rival Kansas City for six years. Oakland quarterback Daunte Culpepper should be very familiar with the turf at Dolphin Stadium, because that's where most of his passes ended up when he played for Miami.

"Look, I had some great times in Miami," says Culpepper. "Usually out on the open water. But I'm under no illusions. I know why I'm here. I had a nice conversation with Al Davis as we drove in his Lincoln Town Car to a shuffleboard tournament in downtown Oakland, just before I had to revive him. I know I'm not here to make spectacular plays and throw for 300 yards. I'm here for one reason and one reason only: to keep the underside of center Jeremy Newberry warm while JaMarcus Russell readies himself for that first snap. I'm no Sheila E.; I'm Daunte C. This taint no 'glamorous life.'"

The Dophins' defense has not played up to expectations this year, as evidenced by the average of 28 points they have given up per game this year. That's just not Nick Saban football. Joey Porter has guaranteed a Miami victory, which is a shocking statement. No, not that Porter made a guarantee, but that he kept his mouth shut for almost four weeks. On Sunday, Jason Taylor gets after Green, with 2 sacks, then challenges Shawn Merriman to a drug test. Miami wins, 27-21.

NY Jets @ Buffalo (+3)

Despite an 0-3 record, and an injury to starting quarterback J.P. Losman, there is still reason to fear the Bills.

"Yeah, O.J. Simpson is out on bail," says a gimpy-legged and sore-armed Chad Pennington. "And now, not only is he looking for the 'real killers,' he's also looking for anyone who has possession of any personal items that has belonged to him at any time in his life. That can be his pawned-off Heisman Trophy, an old Bills uniform, or even any remaining shred of respect anyone has for the man. That could prove even more difficult to find than the 'real killers.' Good luck, Juice. Hope you find what you're looking for ... in Hell."

Is there reason to fear Pennington and the Jets? Well, Pennington is a harmless little fellow, and the Jets' defense is giving up nearly 30 points a game. So, there's really no reason to fear a Jet, unless your that cute-as-a-button Suzy Kolber sacheting along the sideline, attracting the attention of a certain former Jet quarterback, then cruelly shooting down the advances of said quarterback, who, albeit somewhat inebriated, asked for a kiss as politely as a slightly inebriated Super Bowl MVP could.

"There's no denying the history and legendary names of this storied rivalry," says New York coach Eric "The Ice" Mangini. "And there's no denying that the Patriots' video-taping of our coaches signals has left us very cautious. Therefore, our defense will receive signals from the coaches via carrier pigeons. 'Little birdies' are great information transporters."

Mmmmm. Did a "little birdie" clue the NFL in on the Patriots' illegal video-taping scandal? Who knows? And who cares, really? The Jets take advantage of an injury-depleted Buffalo team, and "Broadway" Joe Namath tips Simpson off to the whereabouts of the "real killers," instructing the former Bill to set sail in the Niagara River and "follow the current." New York wins, 21-17.

Houston @ Atlanta (+2 1/2)

Sixty-seven penalty yards assessed to cornerback DeAngelo Hall left the Falcons seeing "red," as a 37-yard interference call and two 15-yard personal foul penalties placed the visiting Panthers in the red zone. The Panthers scored the tying touchdown soon after, and went on to win 27-20. Hall was disciplined by the team, fined $100,000, had a restraining order placed against him by Steve Smith, and was ordered to seek psychiatric help.

"Yeah, I lost control," says Hall. "But I hear this guy, Dr. David Banner, is far and away the leading clinical specialist in anger management. He even had his own television show, so you know he must be good. And, he's a pretty darn good rapper, too. However, I've heard from a good source that Dr. Banner may have had some complicity in a human growth hormone distribution scandal from years ago. It's said that one of his clients, in particular, had a serious problem with 'roid rages.'"

If history had run a different course, Houston quarterback Matt Schaub would still be Michael Vick's backup, current Atlanta quarterback Joey Harrington would be a lounge bar pianist somewhere, tickling the ivories for tip money, Vick would still be an overrated passer, Bad Newz Kennels would be a Fortune 500 company, and America would not have been subjected to the most ridiculous town meeting in history. As it is, Schaub is wearing Houston blue and red, Harrington is in Atlanta red and black, and Vick is sporting basic orange.

"Superman had to bust his tail to change history," say Schaub, "flying around Earth multiple times at the speed of light to change the time continuum. Vick did it by just being related to some dummies."

Schaub should have some success throwing against a Falcons secondary with which he's familiar, but the Texans have injury issues, including running back Ahman Green, who's out with a shoulder injury. Atlanta gets its first win of the season, 24-21.

Chicago @ Detroit (+3)

After a 15-of-32, 195-yard, 3-interception game in a 31-10 loss to the Cowboys, Rex Grossman is set to face the harshest criticism of his short career. He may be running out of chances in Chicago, and maintaining his job as starter may require desperate measures.

"Exactly," says Grossman. "From the point forward, I consider myself a black quarterback, and all criticism of me is unjust. Donovan McNabb is right: black quarterbacks, like myself, just don't get a fair shake. Why, just yesterday, I went to the barber shop to get corn-rowed. They told me my hair was too short. See, I am treated unfairly."

"If people could just walk in Rex's shoes for a day," says Bears coach Lovie Smith, "they'd probably throw 3, maybe 4 interceptions. I'm fiercely loyal to my players, and I love Rex like a stepson, a stepson who's emptied my bank account and slept with his step-mom, but I think the time is right for a change. That's why I'm charging Rex with attempted murder, because he's killing us."

Like their seedy underworld counterparts in Philadelphia, Detroit mobsters Yuri and Alexandr, who control the Russian scene in Motown, blew their chance to disable McNabb last week and watched as the Eagles lit up the Lions for 56. Now they'll turn their attention to the Bears, and the task at hand is not so clear-cut. What's the best way to ensure a Detroit win: take out Grossman, or make the entire Lions' defense disappear?

"Nyet. It's neither," explains Yuri. "We do whatever it takes to make Lovie Smith name Grossman the starter. In other words, we do nothing."

Wrong, you silly Russians. I just watched the USA's 1980 hockey win over the Soviets, and someone asked me, "Do you believe in miracles?" Well, I didn't then, but I do now, because Lovie has benched Grossman. That's got to be a miracle. And a peasant in Ecuador spotted the Virgin Mary in a pile of llama manure. That's definitely a miracle.

Griese gets the "miracle" start, and faces a shabby Lions defense with more holes in it than Lovie's reasoning for starting Grossman for the last two years. Even the fans at Ford Field can't say the "defense" chant without chuckling slightly. Bears win, 30-24.

Baltimore @ Cleveland (+4)

Steve McNair aggravated a groin injury last Sunday, necessitating relief from Kyle Boller, who engineered a late drive to position the Ravens for Matt Stover's game-winning 46-yard field goal. The Ravens are 2-1 heading into the home of their hated rivals in Cleveland.

"I'm a little hesitant to start McNair in the Dawg Pound," says Brian Billick. "Steve is already hobbled, and I don't want to risk a season-ending injury, or worse, have Steve euthanized by sympathetic pet owners who see that his quality of life has diminished to the point of suffering. I mean, the man is held together with courage alone. He's had more surgeries than Boller has starts."

No scouting report of the Ravens would be complete without mentioning their defense, which, although formidable, has shown a propensity to wear down late in games, allowing teams back into games. The Ravens' defense is an aging unit, but Browns quarterback Derek Anderson knows never to underestimate them.

"Ravens defense?" says Anderson. "Check. Always dangerous. But what I really long to know is which FOX game former Raven Tony Siragusa has been assigned to, so I can tune in to hear his wacky game observations while he stumbles around the sideline gnawing on a chicken leg. The 'Goose' is loose. Could somebody please wrangle that beast and take him back to his man-cave?"

Jamal Lewis rushes for 295 yards and 3 touchdowns ... correction ... Lewis rushes for 95 yards and a score. The fired-up Browns defeat the Ravens, 20-19

St. Louis @ Dallas (-11)

Dallas is one of the NFC's two remaining unbeaten teams after last Sunday's 34-10 blasting of the Bears. After a shaky start, Tony Romo threw 2 touchdowns and passed for 329 yards as the Cowboys established themselves as the current clear favorite in the NFC.

"Even Bill Parcells is smiling," says Romo. "I bet Big Bill didn't even realize that Marion Barber was capable of a touchdown over one yard. Anyway, much has been said of our signing of former Bear defensive lineman Tank Johnson. Even our own guys, Troy Aikman and Daryl Johnston, criticized this move. Sure, I know Tank may be trouble, but where else can you find a tackle of his caliber at this time of year? You can't. It gets even better. We're bringing back Michael Irvin, Hollywood Henderson, Nate Newton, as well as Leon Lett to field blocked punts."

The Rams are off to an 0-3 start after their 24-3 loss to the Buccaneers in Tampa. The Bucs held Marc Bulger to 116 yards passing and limited Torry Holt to only 53 yards receiving, his first game under 100 yards in five games against Tampa.

"I haven't been covered like that since the Burger King laid me out," says Holt. "That dude was on me like a cape. But at least the King was kind enough to present me with a flame-broiled Whopper after dropping me. Those Bucs defensive backs weren't so kind."

Shannon Sharpe's NFC Super Bowl pick isn't looking so good right now. In fact, with Steven Jackson out for this game, St. Louis is anything but "Ram Tough" and nothing but "Ram Fluff." Dallas wins, 31-14, behind two touchdown passes by Romo, one of which goes to Terrell Owens, who sprints to the star at midfield and poses, as teammates restrain Roy Williams.

Tampa Bay @ Carolina (-3)

First place in the NFC South will be on the line when the Buccaneers visit Charlotte to face the Panthers. Emotions always run high when these two rivals collide, and with the winner taking sole possession of the division lead, Sunday's game will be no different. With 175 yards on the ground against the Falcons, the Panthers may have found the secret to their success: an offense heavy on the run, coupled with Steve Smith goading the opposition's shutdown corner into acts of extreme stupidity.

"And for dessert," says John Fox, "I'd like two Panther cheerleaders twisted like a pretzel in a carnal embrace, lathered in whipped cream and sprinkled with glitter. What's that? Our cheerleaders have to be in Tampa to perform their 'Toilet Room Tang-o?' Wow! That's what I call a home-field advantage."

"Yo ho ho and a bucket of chum, Jake Delhomme's elbow is going numb," chants Tampa's John Gruden from the crow's nest of the "Black Pearl," his tricked-out, military-style, black Humvee. "It's always a pleasure to drop anchor in Carolina, where crowbars have dual uses: prying open trucks to extract fugitives, and separating Panther cheerleaders. Hey, what do you call a Panther cheerleader with two feet firmly on the ground? 'Land ho.'"

All joking aside, the game is the biggest deal in Charlotte since Ric Flair and the Horsemen ambushed Dusty Rhodes and the Road Warriors at a Waffle House back in 1984. Few expected the Bucs to be in this position, but with an aggressive defense and efficient quarterback play form Jeff Garcia, Tampa is no fluke. Are the Panthers a fluke? The jury is still out. They're 2-1, but those two wins are against winless teams. And quarterback Jake Delhomme has a sore elbow and a limp wrist. Tampa takes over first with a 22-17 win.

Seattle @ San Francisco (+2)

Seattle responded from fumbling away a Week 2 loss to the Cardinals with a comeback 24-21 win over the Bengals. Matt Hasselbeck hit Nate Burleson with a 22-yard touchdown pass with a minute left for the game-winning score.

"I was devastated by the mistake that cost us the game last week," says Hasselbeck. "So much so that I shaved my head. So maybe I wasn't that upset after all. Anyway, my quarterbacks coach challenged me to rebound and come through when my team needed me most, after of course telling me he was twice the quarterback I was. I'd say I responded pretty well to his 'Zorn Ultimatum,' and totally shot down his idea of the 'Zorn Supremacy.' In addition, he didn't like it too much when I told him I didn't even know who he was. That's when he gave me the 'Zorn Identity.' Jim Zorn, former Seahawks quarterback. Who knew?"

San Francisco's unbeaten record came crashing back down to earth, done in by a dominant Pittsburgh defense that held Frank Gore to 39 yards rushing. Gore plans to bust out this Sunday at home against the Seahawks in another NFC tilt for division leadership.

"It's time to put up or shut up," says Gore. "I choose to put up, and hopefully the other three running backs who were supposed to be fantasy studs, Larry Johnson, LaDainian Tomlinson, and Steven Jackson, will shut up."

Gore falls short of 100 yards, but the 49ers take the outright lead in the West with a 19-16 win.

Kansas City @ San Diego (-12 1/2)

Can things get any worse in San Diego? The Chargers are 1-2, Philip Rivers and LaDainian Tomlinson are arguing on the sidelines, and Marty Schottenheimer's firing is being questioned more than ever before.

"Yeah, it could get worse," says Rivers. "One of our coaches could take down L.T. and bust his knee, just like Padres manager Bud Black did to Milton Bradley. But I don't see anything like that happening, not just yet. We're two, maybe three losses from total implosion."

Indeed, Tomlinson and his Chiefs counterpart Larry Johnson are running in quicksand in race to see who can alienate their teammates fastest. Like L.T., L.J. engaged in a shouting match with his quarterback, Damon Huard, when things weren't going so well before the Chiefs came back to defeat the Vikings, 13-10. Luckily, Kansas City mascot KC Wolf fired up the Chiefs when he creamed a rogue fan who breached security and ran onto the field.

"Yeah, great tackle by KC," says Johnson. "Although I think the fan was out there for a good reason: he probably had a creative play call he wanted to give us that wasn't as predictable as the rubbish Herm Edwards likes to run."

"There's one Chargers fan I'd like to get my hands on," says Tomlinson. "And that's general manger A.J. Smith. I'd like to give him something I like to call the 'Schottenheim-lich Maneuver,' in which I place my hands firmly around his throat and choke the life out of him. Look, I understand firing Marty because he couldn't win a playoff game. But how is Norv going to win a playoff game that he can't even get to?"

No matter the outcome, one team will still be bickering among themselves. The Chargers get an emotional lift by the return of the San Diego Chicken, who hatches at half-time and KO's KC Wolf with a spectacular drop-kick. Rivers throws for two scores, and the Chargers win, 20-13.

Pittsburgh @ Arizona (+5)

After Matt Leinart's ineffective start to the game, Ken Whisenhunt decided to bench the lefthander and insert veteran Kurt Warner to run the no-huddle offense. Warner responded with 258 yards passing and two touchdowns, leading the Cards back from a 17-point deficit in a game they eventually lost 26-23.

"I call that bringing in the 'religious right,'" says Whisenhunt. "Kurt's deep spiritual conviction and strong right arm give us an edge over the left arm of that heathenistic hedonist Matt Leinart. However, after the game, I'd much rather go clubbing with Matt and his harem than attend a covered-dish social at the church of Kurt. For the record, Matt is still our starter."

The Steelers are the AFC's forgotten 3-0 team, not receiving nearly the amount of attention heaped upon the Patriots and Colts. That suits Mike Tomlin just fine, who cares little for the limelight.

"These guys aren't about media attention," says Tomlin. "When you're a Steeler, it's all about work ethic. These guys know what it takes to win. Most of these guys have Super Bowl rings, so they know what you have to go through to be the best. If that includes a car windshield, so be it. Leinart will be ready after being benched. He's probably never wrecked a motorcycle. Heck, he's probably never even been on one, but he has ridden a 'Harley.' That experience should serve him well when we blitz him unmercifully in the stadium that should rightfully be known as the 'Pink Taco.'"

Leinart and Warner? Pittsburgh defense? Leinart hits the mat, Kurt gets hurt. Steelers win, 27-10.

Denver @ Indianapolis (-10)

If you think Denver's one-game lead in the AFC West will be short-lived, raise your hand.

"If I'm sure?" asks Mike Shanahan. "I'll answer that question, but first I'll need a timeout, but ... not ... .until ... I ... say ... NOW!"

Save the small talk, Shanny. Denver's lead is not worth the paper it's printed on, nor are those $100 bills you carry around bearing the visage of John Elway. Plus, you made one of the most idiotic coaching decisions ever witnessed: going for it on 4th-and-5 from your own 9, trailing 20-14 with four minutes left. Are you Lamont Sanford, because I think I hear Fred saying 'You big dummy!' I can think of two better options in that situation. A punt, for one. And if that wasn't obvious, then you could have thought a little harder and taken the safety. You're down eight, and the field position situation would be much better.

"Are you telling me a 'four-and-out' is worth less than a 'three-and-out?'" asks Shanahan.

Only in the modified Stableford scoring system, you idiot.

Indy's Peyton Manning is known as a student of the game, and is capable of audible-ing his way out of any problem the Bronco defense presents.

"If I wanted to," says Manning, "I could have the Broncos believing we were filming a commercial, with a simple hand gesture and a wink of the eye. Of course, with the correct indicator, that would signal Dallas Clark to find the soft spot between the linebackers and the safeties."

Indianapolis wins, 29-17.

Philadelphia @ NY Giants (+3)

Donovan McNabb has stood by his comments that black quarterbacks face more criticism than their white counterparts. So it was quite ironic when the first three of McNabb's 4 touchdown passes were caught by a straight-up honkey, Kevin Curtis, in the Eagles' 56-21 destruction of the Lions. McNabb silenced his critics, for now, and was lucky to even play in the game, as notorious Philly mobsters Vinnie and Joey had planned to put a "scare" into McNabb, but were sidetracked with a "disposal" job.

"Yeah, we were gonna leave a little something for Donovan to wake up to," says Joey. "It was either going to be a horse's head, a bushel of oranges, or Rush Limbaugh. Fortunately, we got called to another job, and Donovan had the best game of his career. But we're still watching him."

Indeed. McNabb recorded the highest possible quarterback rating of 158.3, then took a post-game jog in his gray sweats up the steps to the Philadelphia Museum of Art.

"Just to clarify for Donovan," says Eli Manning, "a white quarterback can't have a higher rating."

The loser of this game could fall a full three games out of the NFC East lead, and would also have two division losses. Desperate times call for desperate measure. Giants coach Tom Coughlin calls for a group hug, and McNabb seeks words of encouragement from Terrell Owens. Eagles win, 31-27.

New England @ Cincinnati (+7)

The Patriots are caught spying, fined $750,000, and they proceed to dismantle the Chargers, 38-14. The following week, the NFL announces it has destroyed all of the evidence in the spy scandal, and the Patriots then methodically terminate the Bills, 38-7. Pray tell, what bad luck must befall the Patriots this week, and how does that bode for the Bengals?

"Better than you think," says Marvin Lewis. "If destruction of video tapes can bring the Patriots good luck, then why not us? That's why we're having the all the police videos from our players' arrests destroyed. It should be quite a show, and the bonfire will provide lighting for Monday's game."

New England has been riding the Tom Brady to Randy Moss connection to the tune of five touchdown already this year. Moss looks by far to be the best trade bargain of the year, acquired from the Raiders for a fourth-round pick. Of course, we've all questioned Oakland's stupidity in making the deal, but what does it say about the level of Moss' laziness as a Raider? But we'll let Joe Buck fret about that. Let's enjoy this game. We've got arguably the two most entertaining and controversial receivers in the game, Moss and Chad Johnson. Moss is known for his touchdown celebration in Green Bay in which he simulated "mooning" the fans, while Johnson is known for each of his TD celebrations.

With Rudi Johnson questionable with a knee injury, the Bengals must rely even more heavily on their passing game. And, with their entire defense listed as "questionable," Brady might just complete every pass he throws. It's a shootout, but the Patriots have automatic weapons, and the Bengals make a great target. Brady connects with Moss, and Laurence Maroney rushes for 140 yards. New England wins, 42-27. Johnson catches a second-quarter scoring pass from Carson Palmer, then poses with Bengals defensive coaches for a photo taken by a mysterious cameraman stationed on the Patriots' sideline.

Last week: 9-7 (straight up); 6-8-2 (against the spread)
Overall: 29-19 (straight up); 18-25-5 (against the spread)

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:57 AM | Comments (0)

Win Your Fantasy Football League

Except for a year in college, I've resisted fantasy football. It just seemed to strange and craven to be rooting for certain players and against others on the same team. It'd take too much homework to gain an advantage. I already watch too much college football to get too deep in the NFL. The list goes on.

Well, this year I decided to give it another shot, and it seems I forgot one pro that outweighs all the cons: it's so much fun. The homework involved is actually quite exciting when you put on your shrewd general manager's cap. I have three teams and it's not enough.

As you can see from my extensive fantasy resume, I am well-qualified to offer my tips on selecting and running a successful team.

* Stock up on running backs. Running backs are the most precious commodity in fantasy football because about a third of the teams split carries pretty evenly between two or more backs. That leaves 20 teams that have a primary back that takes on 90% of their team's carries. Primary backs obviously have a huge advantage over backs that split time, and if there's only 20 or so, that's only two apiece in a 10-team league. Not a lot when you consider you probably have to play two RBs each week. An injury will decimate you, and you won't have the luxury to substitute out a guy going up against a tough run defense.

So try to get at least three, or even four, of those primary backs, so you have some flexibility. Make the guys who just select the best available player with each pick, regardless of position, pay.

* Wide Receivers should be your second priority. The good news about wide receivers is most teams have two or three capable of putting up 100 yards any given day, so there's not the scarcity you'll find with running backs.

* Quarterbacks should be your third priority, unless you have a chance to get an elite one like Peyton Manning or Tom Brady.

* You can make a case for drafting only one quarterback, tight end, and defense. This is especially true if you have an QB or defense (like Manning, Jeremy Shockey, or Chicago respectively) elite enough that you don't have to worry about matchups. If you can't get an elite player, then either go ahead and pickup two, or pickup one, unload the non-elite unit and pickup a different one off waivers when the the bye week hits, they start to struggle, or have tough matchup. Like with wide receivers, there's a surplus of ones that have big number potential, not a deficit.

* The above is even more true for kickers. Since most kicker fantasy points come from field goals, and it's impossible to predict how many field goal opportunities a kicker will get in a game, the question of how good a kicker is in nearly moot. Kickers are more or less equal anyway. Matt Bryant had missed all his attempts more than 40 yards before nailing a 62-yarder against the Eagles midway through last season. Make kicker your last pick, and then dump him and pickup another one on your bye week.

My dream team would have an one elite QB, one elite tight end, one elite defense, one kicker, no backups for any, and the rest of the roster stuffed with wide receivers and running backs, allowing me maximum flexibility each week when selecting wide receivers and quarterbacks. When one of my elite players has a bye week or gets hurt, I'll waive the worst RB/WR I have and get a temporary replacement.

* Pay attention and be cut-throat. When you learn of a primary running back getting injured seriously enough to miss a big chunk of the season, find out who will replace him and snap him up as fast as you can (this may or may not work out depending on your league's waiver rules, even if you grab him first.) That way, not only do you get a free primary running back, you deprive the team that that lost the injured guy the ability to get him.

* Pay attention to your league's waiver wire. Guys will impatiently drop good players after a single poor week. I just picked up Larry Fitzgerald off waivers in my ESPN league. Who is so stacked at wide receiver that they have no use for a guy like Larry Fitzgerald?

* Be wary of flashes-in-the-pan, but stay informed. Perfect example: last week, Bucs RB Cadillac Williams left the game after re-aggravating a rib injury (to be more precise, his flack jacket was making it hard for him to hang on to the ball). Earnest Graham replaced him, and ran for 75 yards and 2 touchdowns.

Fantasy owners are now snapping up Graham left and right, and they are going to be sorely disappointed. Bucs coach Jon Gruden has emphatically stated several times that Williams is still his primary back, and he will just have to "look for ways" to get Graham the ball more. It really doesn't sound like they are about to split carries by any means. Williams ribs will continue to heal, he'll get his flack jacket problem worked out, and he won't lose much if anything to Graham based on one good half of work. This information is widely available.

In Week 2, it was Packers RB DeShawn Wynn getting 50 yards and 2 touchdowns in a move away from the ineffective Brandon Jackson. But 38 of those yards were on one carry, and the following week he had just three carries (Jackson had 6; Brett Favre threw 45 times).

The lesson is, when someone emerges after a great week, make sure it was consistently great, and that he is going to get the opportunities to continue producing greatness.

Posted by Kevin Beane at 11:50 AM | Comments (0)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 28

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jeff Gordon — Gordon finished 11th in the Dodge Dealers 400 at Dover, which was good enough to boost him to sole possession of the lead in the points. He leads Tony Stewart by two points and Jimmie Johnson by four.

"I'm just glad I'm back in the points lead," says Gordon, "although my current lead is peanuts compared to the 300-point lead I had before this Chase thing started. Carl Edwards is complaining about being fined 25 points for a slight height infraction? At least he didn't get docked 300 points for dominating the first 26 races of the year."

2. Tony Stewart — Stewart finished ninth, one lap down, to inch closer to the points lead. He trails Jeff Gordon by a mere two points, and has some advice for teammate Denny Hamlin.

"Never admit fault," says Stewart, "even when you're at fault. And never, under any circumstances, let a driver get away with smacking your visor, especially a driver with a pony-tail."

3. Jimmie Johnson — Starting from the pole, Johnson endured a flat tire midway through Sunday's race and fell two laps down. Then, with just 15 laps remaining, Johnson was involved in the crash triggered by Kurt Busch's spin. Sounds disastrous, right?

"I was lucky to pull out a 14th after all that," says Johnson. "To finish 14th and be two laps down? That's got to be a testament to my great driving, or a testament to pathetic driving by everyone that finished below me."

4. Carl Edwards — After Matt Kenseth fell from the lead due to mechanical issues, Edwards took over the Roush Fenway banner and dominated the remainder of the race. Edwards led 92 laps and won in Dover for his third win of the year. However, Edwards' car failed post-race inspection because of a right fender that was too low, and he was docked 25 points, which places him sixth in the points.

"NASCAR is a game of inches," says Edwards, "and I just lost the game. In the words of Jimmie Johnson: 'Nobody 'Knaus' the trouble I've seen.'"

5. Kyle Busch — Busch finished fifth in Dover for his second top-five of the Chase, and his fifth at Dover was highest among Chase contenders who didn't get busted for cheating. He is fourth in the points, but is only 10 points out of first.

"Things are looking up for Kyle Busch," says Busch. "I'm contending for the Cup, and I've got a new team, new car, and new sponsor for 2008. If you would have told me a year ago that I'd be driving a Toyota for Joe Gibbs with M&Ms on the hood, I would have said 'You're crazy' or 'Is Dale Earnhardt going to Hendrick Motorsports?'"

6. Martin Truex, Jr. — Truex was running smoothly and poised for a top-five finish when he was caught in the pile-up that ensued when Kurt Busch slammed the wall 15 laps from the finish. He limped home to finish 13th, and now stands seventh in the points, 46 out of first.

"That Miller Lite car caused problems for half the field," says Truex. "I think more drivers on the track were impaired by beer than fans leaving the track after the race."

7. Clint Bowyer — Bowyer's car was damaged in the Denny Hamlin-Kyle Petty incident, and Bowyer could manage only a 12th-place finish. Luckily, most of the other Chase contenders had problems of their own, and Bowyer is only 18 points out of first.

"Hamlin was clearly at fault in that wreck," says Bowyer. "He caused me damage because of his driving, too. You can best believe if I were Petty, I would have done more than just slapped Hamlin's visor. I think NASCAR should look to the NHL for proper fight etiquette when tempers flare. Hockey players toss their gloves before battling; drivers from now on should take off their helmets before rumbling."

8. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth led a race-high 192 laps and clearly was the car to beat until a busted valve sent his car smoking on lap . He finished the race 26 laps down in 35th, which was better than only Denny Hamlin among Chase qualifiers. Kenseth is now 116 points out of first in 10th place.

"That was my race to win," says Kenseth. "Sure, I'm disappointed, but 116 points can be made up easily over the duration of eight races. I'm just not sure it can be done by qualifying 31st and finishing 12th in each race."

9. Kurt Busch — Many predicted that Busch could make some noise in the Chase, and they were right. Busch blew a tire on lap 386 and slammed the wall, then bounced to the center of the track, causing a pileup that affected several Chase contenders.

"I even wrecked my own teammate, Ryan Newman," says Busch. "I know he's upset, but I think we still have a good working relationship. However, Ryan did slip up and call me 'Rusty' in the middle of a stream of profanities."

10. Denny Hamlin — Hamlin bumped Kyle Petty's Dodge from behind on lap 204, sending Petty into the wall and out of the race, but that wasn't the last altercation with Petty Hamlin would experience.

"Yeah, Kyle came over and slapped me in the face," says Hamlin. "That was totally uncalled for. I was honored, to be honest. I mean, Kyle is Richard Petty's son, right? And I'm 158 points out of first in the standings. I guess you could say getting slapped by the son of a former Cup champion is the closest I'm getting to a Cup title."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:14 AM | Comments (0)

September 26, 2007

When the Mighty Will Fall

We've almost made it through the month of September, and at the quarter pole of the college football season, 21 teams have yet to suffer a loss. Unfortunately, everyone can't be undefeated at this point. It's ... well ... impossible. (This was a possibility in the era of ties. Not very likely, but possible.)

And there's no way for all of the unscathed to finish the season the same way. At most, nine teams can end the regular season with a goose egg in the loss column, with a maximum of eight perfect squads through Championship Saturday on December 1st. Even though this scenario could destroy BCS computers everywhere from sheer confusion, I regrettably can't predict that happening. So instead of asking who will survive intact, I wonder "who won't?"

Week Five (September 28th-29th)

The last week of this month has several has a few matchups of unbeaten teams. It starts Friday as Big East acquaintances West Virginia and South Florida get together in Tampa. The Mountaineers look to avenge an upset five-point loss from last season. South Florida is growing into the darlings that some predicted a couple of years ago, with a road win at Auburn to boot. However, I think that Pat White, Steve Slaton, and freshman hit Noel Devine will have enough firepower to vault WVU over the vaunted Bulls defense.

On Saturday, a pair of unbeaten tilts will start at 3:30 Eastern Time, as ABC will be at both Michigan State/Wisconsin and Cal/Oregon in their regional coverage package. The first game should be more defense-oriented. Mark Dantonio heads into his second straight marquee game with his new team, while Wisconsin comes in off of three somewhat underachieving performances against UNLV, The Citadel, and Iowa. The Badgers are a little further along than Sparty, though, and they have P.J. Hill to boot. Bucky by 10.

For the offense lovers, head out west, where athletes, athletes, and athletes will be on the field in Eugene. The backfield matchups of Nate Longshore and Justin Forcett (Cal) versus Dennis Dixon and Jonathan Stewart (UO) are extremely tasty. Add in DeSean Jackson, possibly the nation's most exciting player, and 45-41 isn't a possibility, it's an expectation. I give the edge to Cal, knocking the Ducks from their dreams of perfection.

Week Six (October 6th)

Look for a lot of teams to take a hit on the first Saturday of October. Again, this weekend will have three games matching unbeaten teams. The biggest will be in Baton Rouge, which could showcase a preview of the SEC Championship as Florida battles LSU. Florida has been impressive with Tim Tebow as the starter, even with an escape from Ole Miss. But the Bengal Tigers have a nasty defense and will provide to be too much with the home crowd behind them. The defending champs will take their first hit of the season.

Just behind the SEC clash is another important tilt, with Oklahoma and Texas renewing the Red River Shootout in Dallas. The Longhorns seem to be turning the tide in the series, but they've looked suspect early this year. On the other hand, the Sooners have straight been rollin', folks. OU has put up more than 50 points in each of their first four games. Impressive opponents? No. Impressive statistics? Yes. Oklahoma is setting themselves up for a big run at the National Championship Game, and it will continue beyond the Texas State Fair.

In the other possible battle of unbeatens, Ohio State will head to Purdue, where the Boilermakers have quietly taken care of business (which should continue against Notre Dame this weekend) to stay unblemished. But the Boilers haven't faced the kind of opposition the Buckeyes will bring to the table. OSU already has a road win on its belt to an improving Washington team. Expect another victory in West Lafayette.

After a week off, Kansas will fall from the ranks of the perfect records when they go down at interstate rival Kansas State (by far, the best team the Jayhawks will have seen to that point of the year). Another nasty defense will take its toll, as Virginia Tech will slow down Clemson and send the Tigers to their first defeat.

Week Seven (October 13th)

A couple of the mid-level programs will be heading into games with their "big brothers" toward the middle of October. Kentucky has been one of the more pleasant surprises of the early season. In my '07 toughest schedules edition, I had the Wildcats going an even 6-6. But this was before Andre Woodson lifted UK to upsets (however mild) of Louisville and at Arkansas. All that momentum will hit a bump in the road after getting a visit from LSU.

It's another year of high hopes in Columbia, and so far, Missouri has lived up to them (at least, offensively). I think they'll survive their showdown with Nebraska with home field being the decider. However, a 5-0 start won't hit 6-0. You can thank a trip to Norman for that, with Oklahoma bursting the bubble of another unbeaten team two weeks running.

Week Eight (October 20th)

This could have been another showdown of undefeateds had UCLA not gotten waxed in Salt Lake City. Nonetheless, the Bruins should have righted the ship by then, which means the defense should be up for the task of trying to contain Cal. If the Bears get by the Bruins, they should be able to look forward to a huge tilt against USC (November 10th). However, if there is a team other than the Trojans that can slow down Cal, it's UCLA.

Week Nine (October 25th-27th)

A quartet of upsets loom large as the number of zero-loss teams falls below double digits.

Boston College should continue to breeze through their non-conference schedule (UMass, Bowling Green, at Notre Dame) before heading into a Thursday night battle at Virginia Tech. This should be an interesting matchup of BC's veteran offense against V-Tech's ferocious defense. Many championship dreams have died a slow, painful death in Blacksburg. This time, it looks like the Eagles will be grounded just enough for that to happen.

Penn State has lost their chance at a "bagel" season in the right-hand column, so they'll have to focus on winning out to have their chance at the Big Ten title. They will probably lose out on that when Wisconsin comes to town a couple weeks earlier. But the Nittany Lions will cherish another shot to knock off a big boy as Ohio State rolls into the picture.

The Big East gets back into the swing of things when Rutgers survives South Florida to set up a contest with still unbeaten West Virginia. The Knights has their chances at the Mountaineers last season, when WVU escaped 41-39 in triple overtime. This time, the game's in Piscataway. You don't think Ray Rice and Mike Teel will be ready? I would bet on it.

Out West, Cal will be looking to gain some momentum after their loss to UCLA. They get a chance to kill someone else's dreams with a trip to Tempe. Wait a minute, you say. Arizona State's undefeated into the last week of October? That's right. After their come-from-behind win against Oregon State, the Sun Devils have three winnable games (at Stanford, at Washington State, Washington) before the Bears come to town. Unfortunately, Dennis Erickson can't ascend the Pac-10 mountain this quickly.

Weeks 10-13 (November)

The month of November will start with six teams left in the ranks of the completely victorious. But as the weather gets even colder, the traps will continue to be set for those still dreaming of New Years' warmth in New Orleans. The first team to fall prey will be Wisconsin. Coming off a loss in Happy Valley, Ohio State will be a fairly bunch of Buckeyes. Expect them to beat the Badgers at home in another drag-out defensive slobber knocker on the 3rd.

Everyone out West is looking forward to the contest between Hawaii and Boise State on the 23rd, possibly seeing that as the Rainbow Warriors last hurdle to an undefeated season. I won't even look that far out, because of a resilient program by the name of Fresno State. I think they'll be a bigger player in the WAC race than some believe. I also think that seeing Oregon's high-powered offense will help the Bulldogs in preparing for, and beating, Hawaii on the 10th.

The last undefeated to go down will be Rutgers. Greg Schiano is building the Scarlets Knights at a sprint, but the next step might be defeating a name opponent on the road. And even with the early-season woes, that team will be represented by Louisville (the 29th). If they can't play for the BCS, Brian Brohm and the Cardinals would like nothing less than to shatter the dreams of the team that burst their bubble in '06. Will the pressure lift Rutgers to new heights or cave in on them? For right now, I'm picking the latter.

And what do you know? If that don't leave us with a déjà vu situation. Remember January of 2004? That's when LSU defeated Oklahoma in the Sugar Bowl to win the BCS championship. Meanwhile, USC's victory in the Rose Bowl vaulted them to number one status with the Associated Press. All three players will be in the picture again, this time with undefeated records.

Will the Sooners be the ones left out in the cold this time? Can the Tigers (SEC Championship), Sooners (Big 12 Championship), and Trojans (UCLA) endure stiff tests on December 1st? That debate, my friends, is for another time.

Posted by Jonathan Lowe at 11:58 AM | Comments (1)

Fantasy Sports Takes Another Victim

There are myriad reasons why fantasy sports is a two billion-dollar a year enterprise — not the least of which are office boredom, urges to gamble, and the moribund dreams of millions of sports fans to one day run a franchise of their choosing. There's even an industry group, the Fantasy Sports Trade Association (FSTA), which claims to serve as "an official organization to help promote fantasy sports." Ostensibly, a few people care about this.

Football has been the preeminent sport responsible for countless, otherwise-productive hours wasted on fantasy leagues each day. And with more than 19 million fantasy sports participants in the United States and Canada, according to the FSTA, there are a lot of neglected TPS reports [1]. But baseball, basketball, and hockey have all developed solid on-line fantasy congregations. Even Surfer Magazine and the Association of Suring Professionals (ASP) have dropped in on the fantasy sports wave, creating a league in which players are allotted $50,000,000 to "buy" any eight surfers from the top 45, at varying costs based on past and speculative performance, for each of the 10 contests that comprise the February through December ASP tour.

I've never been interested in fantasy sports. But last year, my friend Chris and I would spend hours discussing his fantasy NHL team — who's hot and who sucks; line combinations and team depth; potential trades; the waiver wire; playoff implications, etc. (Dude's volume of sports knowledge hovers near the indescribable; he is a statistical lint-roller whose dizzying retention ability sticks to just about every sport on Earth.) And since fantasy sports have been gaining popularity each year over the past decade with no foreseeable decline, I want to test my skills and rather formidable knowledge of the National Hockey League.

Given my inherently competitive nature, I accepted an invitation to join his NHL fantasy league this season. Now this student is the enemy. I prepared my pre-draft rankings since the draft, for reasons only understood by the socially inept, was scheduled for a Saturday evening. I couldn't make it. So, I had to get solid, yet realistically attainable players in my top slots because draft positions wouldn't be publicized until well after I had closed my laptop and opened a beer. Solid goaltending is key; starts, goals against, save percentage, and especially consistency are all huge factors from week to week. But so are goals, assists, plus/minus ratings, and special teams situations. Who to take first: a goalie or a skater?

"With the number two pick in the 2007 Thunder Bay Fantasy Hockey League Draft, the AnkleBreakers select Dany Heatley: electric, game-changing forward who scores huge goals on the best line in the NHL that will lead his fantasy GM to the top of the standings," or something like that. (Who invited Gary Bettman?) Ultimately, I drafted Dany Heatley (Heater) because, on the sound advice of Chris, my comrade-turned-pinko, he can potentially earn more points based on his utilitarian ways. (Heater, apparently, plays a variety of positions that broaden his fantasy appeal.) In hindsight, perhaps my original inclination — picking Marty Brodeur — would have been better seeing as how not one of my highly ranked goaltenders made my roster.

Let me end with a quick defense of my top line (three forwards, two defensemen, and a net minder). The regular season starts on Saturday, September 29th, how many of these players will be on the ice for the 56th NHL All-Star Game in Atlanta [3]?

G – Cristobal Huet (Mon): I'll let Sports Illustrated's Allan Muir explain, "[Huet] has been anointed as Montreal's starter ... given what he's proven in this league over the past two seasons. He's [reinforced] his claim on the job with a spotless preseason mark and clearly is the best short-term option." Sounds good ... for the short-term.

C – Scott Gomez (NYR): The Mexican/Columbian Alaskan is a pure passer. Gomez has almost triple the number of career assists (334) than goals (116). His penchant for puck possession and tendency to deftly circle through the neutral and offensive zones gives his wingers time to find any open ice Gomez may have missed while tooling his defenders. And with Chris Drury by his side at Madison Square Garden, this year could be Gomez's best. There's nothing like having a division rival sign a free agent like Gomez. Well done, Lou [2].

LW – Simon Gagne (Phi): Gags had an oxymoronic season last year, or did he? His 41 goals was the second most in his career, and the highest for a Flyers club that ended 2006-07 dwelling in the basement. With Peter Forsberg no longer supplying his stealthily accurate passes and shots, expect Gags to carry the most weight of the Fly-guys' offense. The first full season sans Forsberg — although now with Flyer newbie Daniel Briere — will be Gagne's toughest; it's his team now. (Full disclosure: I'm from Philly, I'm a Flyers fan, and No. 12 is my favorite player.)

RW – Dany Heatley (Ott): Bottom line: Heater is consistent. He's scored 50 goals in his two consecutive seasons with the Ottawa Senators. Heater's a go-to guy on the power play; over 37 percent of his 105 total points last season came on the man-advantage (17g, 22a). He even had three shorties. Heater's line is still in tact (Jason Spezza and Daniel Alfredsson) and they have an Eastern Conference title to defend (and a Stanley Cup to avenge). Expect him to continue to build on his 1.09 career points per game average.

D – Kim Johnsson (Min): On December 5, 2002, the Flyers beat the Rangers in Philly on a Michael Handzus overtime penalty shot (only the second time in history). But that's not what got me excited. It was a Johnsson end-to-end break. From behind his own goal, he skated blurrily past the blue shirts, the puck glued to his nearly arrow-straight stick blade, firing a shot past goalie Dan Blackburn that rang off the post so hard it echoed above 19,000 hollering fans. I was floored; he's been my guy ever since. His composure is unmatched by anyone not named Lidstrom, and his ability to thread a breakout pass is crucial for the Wild offense. Hopefully, Johnsson will turn that -4 to a positive anything. Another example of the Flyers losing a modern defensemen in favor of sickeningly outdated bruisers.

D – Brian Rafalski (Det): The undrafted blue-liner has taken his Stanley Cup rings from the Garden State (the Garbage State?) to his home state of Michigan. Rafalski will join a firm Detroit defensive corps lead by fellow U.S. olympic teammate Chris Chelios. Rafalski was reliable on the power play, penalty kill, and at even strength for the Devils, and is always among the top defensive scoring leaders. He's been temporarily sidelined by a hip ailment but, leaning on the side of caution, remains day-to-day.

*****

[1]: If this movie reference eludes you, perhaps you would be better served by placing your head back in the sand.
[2]: Lou Lamoriello, NJ Devils general manager.
[3]: The correct answer is all of them!

Posted by Jeff DiNunzio at 11:19 AM | Comments (1)

Who Will Be Great in '08?

Halfway through a recent telecast of the Dodgers/Diamondbacks game, legendary announcer Vin Scully was obliged to do his bit to hawk season tickets for the Dodgers in '08. He did his best, in keeping with the professional that he is.

But it got me thinking — would Vin have sounded so sincere had he been trying to persuade punters to part with their hard-earned dollars to watch the Reds or Orioles next year? I doubt he could have kept up the façade, but in the spirit of optimism, here's an early look at the prospects of some of this years also-rans for 2008.

Cincinnati Reds

The Good

The Reds can hit. Fifth in runs/total bases/OBP and OPS in the NL, fourth in SLG, and third in HRs. Adam Dunn leads the way with his 40 HRs and 100+ RBIs, but ludicrously many of the Reds brass and fans want him out because he strikes out too much. Let's forget that .386 OBP then and send him packing to save salary. If GM Wayne Krivsky has any sense, which at this point looks a moot point, he takes up the $13 million option for 2008.

Dunn aside, Brandon Phillips has solidified 2B nicely after his breakout 2006, Ken Griffey, Jr. stayed healthy and had a solid year until straining his groin late in the season, Josh Hamilton looks to be back on track to play everyday CF, and Edwin Encarnacion has finished the season strongly at 3B. Throw in the useful utility man Jeff Keppinger, prospect Joey Votto, and comeback-kid Jorge Cantu and the Reds' offense is more than serviceable.

The Bad

Thankfully, the front office fired Jerry Narron, but this is still a club that lacks direction and leadership. The ownership is operating on a $68 million salary budget, which won't be enough to attract the starting pitching they need to compete with the Cubs, Brewers, and Cardinals. The team needs to settle on a manager who can give the young players the opportunity to learn on the job and also get more out of the journeymen on the roster.

The Ugly

Pitching. They are 15th in the NL in team ERA, 15th in BAA, 14th in H/9, and 34-of-61 leads held. Those stats say it all.

The Reds' starters, Aaron Harang and Bronson Arroyo aside, are poor. The bullpen needs a makeover.

There are some signs of encouragement. Homer Bailey may yet grow up and be the big leaguer everyone expected him to be and Jared Burton has looked the part late in the season in the eighth inning. David Weathers isn't spectacular, but largely gets the job done as a closer and the team still has high hopes for Bill Bray.

Pitching in the GAB isn't a big incentive for prime free agents to come to Cincinnati and the ownership is traditionally frugal, but an offseason splash on a high-end pitcher would instill optimism in the beleaguered fan base.

Baltimore Orioles

The Good

Erik Bedard was tearing up the AL until his oblique muscle injury led to his shut-down. He'll anchor the staff in '08, though he's arbitration eligible and will command more than the $3.4 million the team paid for 2007. He's worth it as he's a Cy Young candidate. Throw in Adam Loewen and Jeremy Guthrie and the O's have the beginnings of a decent rotation.

The Bad

Besides Nick Markakis, the offense has been disappointing. Miguel Tejada and Melvin Mora are on the downside, Aubrey Huff and Corey Patterson have had long dry spells, and Jay Payton has been dreadful for $9.5 million over two years. The revamped bullpen has been a total disaster area with money thrown at flops like Danys Baez, Scott Williamson, Chad Bradford, and Jamie Walker.

The Ugly

Four managers in four years tells you everything you need to know about this franchise. Only a change of owner and philosophy can prompt a reversal in the sad decline of this once-proud club. Competing in the AL East isn't easy, but Toronto seems determined to give it a go and there's no reason why Baltimore can't match that with a committed ownership and the right front office. Sadly, this team has neither at present.

San Francisco Giants

The Good

As befits a cellar-dweller, there's little to cheer, but at least the team can move forward in '08 without the Barry Bonds sideshow and his salary. Noah Lowry, Matt Cain, and Tim Lincecum make up a nice 2-3-4 punch in the rotation and Brian Wilson has the look of a closer of the future. The Pirates took Matt Morris off GM Brian Sabean's hands in the season's most astonishing deal.

The Bad

Headlining the rotation is Barry Zito and his $126 million contract through 2013 with an option for 2014. Brian Sabean would walk on cut glass barefoot to rid himself of that burden. Barry Zito has been the epitome of mediocre with a losing record and a 4.50+ ERA. His BB/9 and K/9 stats are the worst of his career since his first full season in 2001. He's still not 30, so there's time to turn things around, but the team is mightily nervous that the decline could be terminal.

The Ugly

Besides Bengie Molina and Bonds, nobody can hit. The team has an average age of 83. Some of the horrible contracts bar Zito remain past this season (Dave Roberts, Randy Winn, Ray Durham), but Sabean has some wiggle room now that Bonds is finished. But it will take more than one season and $15 million in freed-up salary to get the Giants back on track.

Oakland A's

The Good

When you're 17.5 games back in the standings, good is hard to find. The team is still walking (second in AL) and hitting HRs, but it's not translating into enough runs and wins. Dan Haren has had a great year and Joe Blanton has been his usual consistent self, but the team was hurt by the absences of Huston Street and Rich Harden. Jack Cust looks like he'll finally stick in the bigs with his combination of power and patience.

The Bad

Nick Swisher has taken a step backwards. He's supposed to be the big RBI man on the team, but he's too content to draw a walk with RISP. That may be Billy Beane's philosophy, but it pressures those of lesser talent behind him. 2008 will be a big year for a guy who could end up as trade bait.

The Ugly

When you're down the bottom of the team payroll chart, injuries can kill. Losing Street and Harden was terminal. Alan Embree did a good job as closer, but he was the valuable eighth inning guy. Eric Chavez had a brutal year and the team is still on the hook for a minimum of $34 million. The injuries have taken their toll on the once-feared slugger and he'll be difficult to move should Beane try.

Keeping up with the free-spending Angels and the ambitious Mariners looks increasingly difficult for the A's with their restricted payroll, poor location, and dwindling attendances. It will take all of Beane's genius to conjure up a decent year in '08.

Posted by Mike Round at 11:05 AM | Comments (0)

September 25, 2007

In the Box: NFL Week 3

With so much action, who has time for intros?

New England 38, Buffalo 7: Three games, 38 points per. Anybody still want to argue Randy Moss for a fourth-rounder was a bad move?

(I know. You're out there. "Sold their soul," you said. "Killed their chemistry." Yeah, sure. Look away. That's fine.)

As for Buffalo, it looks like they're the winners of this year's Cursed From the Start (CFS) award. Having just witnessed a massive CFS with the St. Louis Cardinals, you have my full empathy. Get well Keith Ellison, Ryan Denney, Kevin Everett (love the story of recovery here), Ko Simpson, Jason Webster, Coy Wire, Terrence McGee, Jason Whittle, Paul Posluszny and J.P. Losman.

Fantasy Impact: If you wanted to know what it would be like if Dallas' Marion Barber got 20 carries per game, look to Buffalo, where Marshawn Lynch runs with the same power and aggression that makes Barber so effective in the red zone. The number against the Pats weren't gaudy (20 for 74 and a TD), but they were extremely impressive considering the situation.

Jacksonville 23, Denver 16: It's football season and the hottest team in Denver isn't the Broncos. It's the Colorado Muthaflippin' Rockies! Not only did they sweep San Diego, a team that had won seven straight, at PETCO, they played Saturday and Sunday without should-be MVP Matt Holliday. Let me repeat that for emphasis: the Colorado Rockies swept a road series against the hottest team in the majors in the last 10 days of a pennant race. One game out of the playoffs with six to go.

Also, that was one weird decision by Mike Shanahan going for it on 4th-and-5 from their own nine with more than four minutes left. Even after the defense held, Jacksonville still had a chip shot to make it a two-possession game.

Fantasy Impact: In addition to his 150 yards passing, Jacksonville QB David Garrard ran 12 times for 52 yards. If you remove the three kneel-downs at the end for -5, it's 9 for 57, including 5 rushes for first downs (once on fourth down, twice on third, twice on second). Plus, he had a seven-yard TD run in the first quarter called back.

It's not as though the Jaguars receiving corps was rated highly anyway, but this is just further proof Matt Jones and Reggie Williams have completely fallen into bust status (from a fantasy perspective at least). Garrard, on the other hand, could be good for 4-6 rushing TDs this year. The Jags are off this week before playing at KC in Week 5. Garrard is worth a look.

Dallas 34, Chicago 10: Quote from last week's In the Box: "I'm going to say it every single week until it happens: the Bears should start Brian Griese."

The Bears should start Brian Griese.

Fantasy Impact: What's a fantasy owner to think of the Bears D right now? They gave up 34 at home in a prime time game. Mike Brown is gone and Adam Archuletta is playing like Adam Archuletta (always making the tackle because the other guy always catches it). Lance Briggs, Nathan Vasher, and Tommie Harris all left the game prematurely and, all of a sudden, trips to Detroit and Green Bay the next two weeks are looking a lot less favorable.

Green Bay 31, San Diego 24: Talk about two teams with opposite demeanors. Brett Favre is in a total zone and the defense has more than held its own against playoff-caliber offenses in Philadelphia, New York, and San Diego. The Chargers, meanwhile, can't run on offense (LaDainian Tomlinson with a 2.3 yards per rush average) or stop the pass on defense (648 yards with 6 TD and 1 INT combined by Favre and Tom Brady the last two).

With that said, it's time to pull out the guarantee for San Diego. I guarantee somebody on the Chargers will guarantee a victory over Kansas City on Sunday. And I guarantee they'll be right.

Fantasy Impact: If there's a silver lining to the Chargers' woes, it's that Vincent Jackson is turning into a legit receiving threat. Antonio Gates is going to put up his numbers no matter what (11 catches for 113 yards on Sunday), but if Jackson brings it consistently like he did against Green Bay (6 for 98 and a TD), the Chargers offense will have a whole new dimension.

Kansas City 13, Minnesota 10: Don't think it's a coincidence the Chiefs get their first win the same week they get back DE Jared Allen after a two game suspension. With 8 tackles and 2 sacks against the Vikings, Allen makes an okay defense a very good defense. Against a team with Kelly Holcomb at quarterback, that's enough to get you the W.

With that said, this win by no means put the Chiefs out of the "top-five draft pick" woods. Simply put, the offense stinks. It stinks, I tell you.

Their first half drives on Sunday: three and out, three and out, three and out, Damon Huard fumble, three and out, FG (after getting the ball on the Minnesota 28).

Fantasy Impact: With Eddie Kennison down with a bad hamstring, the Chiefs needed somebody other than Tony Gonzalez to stand up. First-round pick Dwayne Bowe answered the call with 5 catches for 71 yards, including the game-winning TD. The Chiefs play at San Diego next week in the My Fantasy Running Back is Killing Me Bowl.

New York Jets 31, Miami 28: Great offenses or really weak defenses? Considering each team's two games prior to this Sunday (both winless), I'm going to hedge toward the latter. Still, kudos to Chad Pennington. He started to look like the guy everybody was so excited about when he came out of Marshall. He may have only passed for 124 yards, but he accounted for 3 TDs (2 pass, 1 run), only took one sack and avoided the costly mistake.

Fantasy Impact: Welcome back to relevance, Ronnie Brown. A bust so far this season (for a while now, really), Brown broke out with 112 yards rushing, another 99 receiving on 6 catches, and 3 TDs. Funny what happens when you don't give half his touches to Jesse Chatman.

Also, watch out for Ted Ginn. If you get points for the return game, Ginn is a viable candidate to break one for a TD next week against Oakland.

Philadelphia 56, Detroit 21: It had to be especially painful for Lions offensive coordinator Mike Martz to watch Kevin Curtis, a player he drafted and cultivated in St. Louis, tear him up with 11 catches, 221 yards and 3 TDs.

The guy I was promoting as Donovan McNabb's future go-to guy, Jason Avant, had 1 catch for 9 yards (though it was on 2nd-and-8 for a first down). I guess when the other team is cool with your wideouts running wide open down the middle of the field, there's not much need for a possession receiver. (What's that? Play fake? Never heard of it.)

Fantasy Impact: Speaking of former Rams draft picks, Shaun McDonald, drafted in the same Rams class as Curtis, had 5 receptions for 76 yards and a touchdown for the Lions. Chances are he's still available in your league.

Pittsburgh 37, San Francisco 16: The Steelers are really good. They are going to win the division.

With that said, I'll be interested to see how this no-pass Pittsburgh offense (only four teams have attempted fewer) operates against a defense capable of stopping the run. Fortunately for them, there aren't many teams like that on their schedule (Baltimore twice, at Denver, at New England, Jacksonville). But just because they can win without a passing game doesn't mean they should ignore it and just hope it's there when they need it.

Fantasy Impact: He's not going to go griping to the media, but you know it has to be killing Hines Ward to be an afterthought in the Steelers' revamped offense. He left the game with a bruised knee in the third quarter, but 1 catch for 2 yards? Are you serious? There's a reason Jeff Reed leads the league in field goals (9). It's because for all the rushing yards (lead the league), the Pittsburgh red zone offense is mediocre (at best) with a sub-40 TD percentage. With 60 career TDs, including three seasons with double digits, Ward is the answer. He's 31, not 41.

Baltimore 26, Arizona 23: Not even the looniest Kurt Warner loyalist (he's still got a following in St. Louis) would have expected him to go into a road game at Baltimore and light up the Ravens defense for over 250 yards and 2 TDs in a single half.

And now what?

You have to go back to Matt Leinart for Pittsburgh in Week 4. He's your QB of the future. It's one thing to bench him for the second half to get his head on straight (too much listening to Archie Manning), but you can't officially bump him from "starting quarterback" status without breaking the team. With Leinart likely to struggle again against the Steelers in Week 4, it will be interesting to see how first-time head coach Ken Whisenhunt deals with the situation.

Fantasy Impact: Speaking of backups, could Kyle Boller end up a legitimate starting fantasy QB? In back-to-back appearances, Boller has come in composed and moved the team down the field. Over the past two games, where he's been integral to Baltimore wins, he's completed 31-of-45 pass attempts (69 percent) for 268 yards and 2 TDs. Now consider the Ravens' next four games are @ Cleveland, @ San Francisco, St. Louis, @ Buffalo. If Steve McNair is out, Boller might actually be worth a start. Crazy.

Indianapolis 30, Houston 24: If Matt Schaub doesn't throw two killer second-half interceptions, Houston very likely wins this game. The first pick set up Indy at the Texans' 21 and led to a Colts TD. The other was on the first play after a big kick-off by Jacoby Jones gave the Texans the ball at the Colts' 18. That's at least a 10-point swing in a game they lost by six.

Still, putting up 24 on a very stingy Colts D is respectable for Houston, especially without either of your top two backs (for the most part) or go-to guy Andre Johnson. With games at Atlanta and home to Miami, they could be 4-1 heading into Jacksonville in Week 6.

Fantasy Impact: If Sunday was any indication, it looks like TE Owen Daniels is going to be the man for Schaub in Johnson's absence. After catching six passes in the first two games combined, he had 7 against Indianapolis.

Tampa Bay 24, St. Louis 3: Marc Bulger may still be standing, but he's broken. Not to take anything away from a very good Tampa defense, but Bulger's no-touchdown, three-pick performance was as much about his broken ribs and mental condition as it was the Bucs' scheme. His 35.6 QB rating was his worst since 2003. Tough to watch.

Fantasy Impact: You have to downgrade all Rams until Bulger either turns a corner (not likely in Week 4 at Dallas), or Gus Frerotte comes in and shows he can get the job done. Steven Jackson (30 carries for 114 yards) and the defense (only gave up 10 through three quarters) gave respectable efforts, but this Rams ship is sinking. Word that Jackson is out at least one week with a partial groin tear doesn't help. (Partial? If your groin is torn, it's torn. None of this partial nonsense.)

Oakland 26, Cleveland 24: Good to see the old Browns back, playing against the old Raiders, with a blocked FG deciding the outcome.

Fantasy Impact: LaMont Jordan has 69 carries through three games (tied for second most in the NFL), and we've already heard mentions of his back acting up. Against Miami in Week 4, he's money. But remember Dominic Rhodes comes off suspension after this week. Even if Jordan stays healthy, Rhodes will eat into Jordan's action. Now might not be a bad time to sell high on the big guy (or wait until after this weekend's game).

Seattle 24, Cincinnati 21: This team always seems to do just enough to lose. In Week 2, it was allowing Derek Anderson to throw 6 touchdowns. In Week 3, it was four turnovers (2 INT, fumbles by T.J. Houshmandzadeh and Glenn Holt), and allowing the opening kick-off to go for 74 yards, setting up Seattle's first TD. What's it going to be when they host New England next Monday night? Have you seen the Pats play? Marvin Lewis has to do something to get his guys' heads in the game.

Fantasy Impact: Rudi Johnson looks cooked. 17 carries for 9 yards is no way to go about living a happy and productive life.

Carolina 27, Atlanta 20: What in the hell happened to the Panthers' defense? 360 yards and 2 TDs to Joey Harrington? No sacks? Did Julius Peppers play? I didn't see his name in the box score.

(Yes. He did. He just didn't do anything.)

Fantasy Impact: From my preseason notes column August 13: "It looks like Harrington is focused on developing something with Roddy White."

White had 7 catches for 127 yards and a touchdown on Sunday. I'm not bragging. I just want you to remember that the next time somebody goes on a diatribe about how the pre-season is a sham. Just because it's over priced from a fan standpoint doesn't mean it doesn't matter.

New York Giants 24, Washington 17: Michael Strahan decided to give a crap and the Giants defense got a lot better. Imagine that.

(Sorry. I'm a tad bitter on this one.)

Fantasy Impact: Oh, the agony of picking up a fantasy starter off the waiver wire (Derrick Ward), only to have another guy steal his touchdowns (Reuben Droughns with two 1-yarders).

Tennessee 31, New Orleans 14: A lot of teams have things to be disappointed about. The Bills have their injuries. The Chargers have their failed expectations. The Rams have their broken quarterback.

But nothing — nothing — trumps the shock and disappointment in New Orleans. From the offensive line to Reggie Bush to Drew Brees to a horrible defense, this team is playing really bad football. To go from last year's revival, as sincere and heart-felt a connection you'll see between a franchise and fan base, to that trash performance ... man, that's almost too much to take. Those fans just looked hurt.

Also, that was the first time I watched Tony Kornheiser and wished somebody would run by and Taser him. Seriously, dude. It's one thing to discuss failed expectations. But to be giddy about it is just rude.

Fantasy Impact: Last year, Saints were fantasy saviors. Brees was magic. Deuce was a force. Reggie was electric. Now Brees has 7 picks to 1 TD, Reggie is running scared, and Deuce is out for the year with a torn ACL.

Bad voodoo. Baaaaaaaaad voodoo.

Seth Doria is a freelance writer based out of St. Louis. For the only daily column that mixes sports, politics, and entertainment news in one, visit The Left Calf.

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 11:52 AM | Comments (0)

The Rugby World Cup Experience

Nantes, France, Saturday at lunchtime. Cold beer, warm sunshine, and hot food have formed a glorious union to thaw those gathered in the picturesque Place Bouffay. As a particularly dishevelled band of England rugby fans lumber into view, loud cheers greet their colorful, if ridiculous, Hawaiian costumes.

The youngest of their number, in a shirt with "Tour Slave" emblazoned across the full girth of his quarter-aged spread, then plants a kiss on Austin Healey — a former rugby professional turned media analyst — who is wearing rollerskates. The collective are connected.

Over the next two hours, to a soundtrack of The Beatles and a backdrop of 17th century architecture, rugby pilgrims from Taunton to Toronto launched themselves into World Cup festivities with the vigour of Sébastien Chabal attacking a ruck. Despite the heady atmosphere, a less savory form of ruck was far from their minds. Even the ever-hilarious English take on La Marseillaise was received warmly by French fans, and all and sundry join for a rousing rendition of Flower of Scotland accompanied by a bagpiper.

As the throngs gradually dispersed towards trams for the Beaujoire Stadium, a huge screen began coverage of South Africa versus Tonga. Those without tickets settled in for the afternoon, safe in the knowledge that watching rugby upon Nantes' cobbled streets, drenched in the afternoon sun, would be a significant experience. We knew we would find them in the same spot, decidedly less coherent, about four hours later.

Getting to and from the stadium was devilishly simple. Those who have stood in tube queues for hours at Twickenham or Wembley felt spoilt rotten. This was how it should be done. The French police were not only civil and rational, but at times tried to be funny — most notably when teasing the well-organized lines with dummy whistle blows to signal their forward progress. This was subtlety and guile beyond that which our England backline could muster.

After the match, we returned to Place Bouffay and revelry took flight. "Urban rugby" was inevitable and soon huge up-and-unders were raining down upon the square. Street line-outs were forming as quickly as friendships and anything close to rugby ball size was being thrown backwards. Restaurants were buzzing with excited conversation and wine was being consumed in prolific proportions.

What was abundantly clear is how well France does debauchery. The police emphasis was on freedom and mutual respect. Few, if any, crossed the line, and when they did, their friends were on hand to right to situation. Scores of students dressed in Barbarians shirts worked as World Cup guides to ensure even the most debilitated reached their desired destinations. There was much here for the 2012 London Olympic committee to appreciate.

As the day drew to a close, we could reflect on a trip which would stay long in the memory. Bathing in the heady atmosphere, the man next to me raised his glass to the sporting utopia upon which we had stumbled. Content with his world and everything in it, he turned to his friends and raised his match ticket alongside his beer. "Remind me again why we did his," he said.

Posted by Will Tidey at 11:30 AM | Comments (0)

A Schizophrenic NFL Season

Exhibit A: Frank Gore, the San Francisco tailback who ran for more than 1,600 yards last season, was held to 39 yards Sunday against the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Exhibit B: Three games into the NFL season, 20 players are on a pace to run for 1,000 yards — which was once the hallmark of a great rusher, but now requires a rather pedestrian 63 yards a game — and Pro Bowler Larry Johnson isn't one of them.

Exhibit C, D, and E: LaDainian Tomlinson, generally acclaimed as the best back in the NFL, has only 130 yards — fewer than the Steelers' Najeh Davenport, who isn't even the top back on his own team — after three games. And Tomlinson's one "SportsCenter" moment so far this season was a pass play. And he was the thrower, not the receiver.

After three games, 15 teams — nearly half the league — have given up fewer than 60 points, which is a 20-point-per-game average. Last year, only 12 teams hit that mark, including only two in the NFC.

The evidence, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is clear. NFL defenses have caught up to the offenses.

But opposing counsel might mention the season's offensive point totals don't necessarily bear that out. Last season, five teams scored more than 400 points, a 25-per-game average. This season, 11 teams are on their way to that figure.

Admittedly, three games is a painfully small sample. It's tough to believe that Pittsburgh will give up 139 points this year, or that Dallas will finish with 619 points.

But there are still conclusions to be drawn from this schizophrenic season — or at least a question: how can offenses and defenses both be performing better at the same time?

The central issue is that the running game is increasingly irrelevant, at least in terms of its traditional role as the offensive building block. With more teams adopting the defensive model of three line clogging linemen backed up by four quick linebackers, it isn't nearly as easy to run the ball as it used to be.

Gore's production last Sunday was so minimal, in part because Pittsburgh's outside linebackers — and occasionally, safety Troy Polamalu — were quick enough to make tackles from the back side.

It hasn't been all that long ago that teams didn't have to worry about blocking the linebacker away from the attack on running plays because he couldn't keep contain and run down the play at the same time. Now that tackle is almost routine.

On running plays, especially ones that take a long time to develop, the offense has to block everybody, and hold those blocks long enough. And how often does that happen?

In part, that change has taken place not in the pros, but on the college level, because that's where most players switch positions. Two years ago at Temple, the coaching staff asked Joe DeSanzo, a quarterback who started a few games as a true freshman, to move to linebacker.

He transferred, but that doesn't change the point. With an emphasis on defensive speed in college football, guys who might once have been moved to tailback are now converted to linebackers, where they tackle the other team's tailback a dozen times a game.

And once they get to the pros, they've got enough information to absorb without having to train for a new position.

But if run defenses are getting better and point totals are still higher than they were last year, it stands to reason that more teams are succeeding with the pass.

Eight quarterbacks — Jon Kitna, Carson Palmer, Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Brett Favre, and Tony Romo — are on pace to crack 4,500 yards this season. And even so-called running teams like the Steelers, with league rushing leader Willie Parker, are using the run to ice the game, not to establish a lead.

That is in keeping with the data compiled by those who have studied play-by-play charts of thousands of games. Those folks, such as the "Football Outsiders" and authors of "Total Football," have figured out that the path to NFL success is to get the lead by passing, and drain the clock by running on a demoralized defense.

Again, the standard disclaimer, that three games is too small a sample, applies. I'm pretty sure Kitna won't finish with 5,200 yards.

And there are other explanations that explain at least some of the phenomenon. The Steelers, for example, have benefitted from an early-season schedule that put them up against the Cleveland Browns and Buffalo Bills, arguably the league's two worst teams.

But if teams keep shutting down backs like Tomlinson, Gore, and Johnson, more offenses will choose to travel by air.

Posted by Eric Poole at 11:16 AM | Comments (0)

September 24, 2007

MLB Playoff Chase Down to Final Stretch

The last week of the season in Major League Baseball could not be more exciting for fans as the hunt for October hits the final stretch run. With three teams already clinching a playoff berth, five playoff spots remain, including four division titles.

On Sunday afternoon, the Cleveland Indians and the Los Angeles Angels both secured division titles, and the Boston Red Sox clinched a playoff berth after Saturday's win over the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Even though the Red Sox have wrapped up a spot to continue to play in October, they only hold a 1.5-game lead over the New York Yankees in the American League East. Unless the Yankees falter significantly in the last week (5.5-game lead over the Detroit Tigers for the wild card entering Monday), both teams will be playing for playoff positioning over the final week of the season.

The playoff teams are locked in for the American League, but for fans, the race for the best record will be worth watching. Entering Monday, the Indians hold a half game over both the Angels and the Red Sox. This race has gained more of an importance because Major League Baseball passed a new rule for the 2007 playoffs where the American League team with the best record has the opportunity to choose whether it wants to play an eight-day American League Division Series or a seven-day first round series. This is significant because it allows the team with the best record to better position their pitching staff in hopes to gain an advantage.

The playoff picture, however, is not as clear in the National League. All three division titles are wide open and the wild card has three teams fighting for that one spot. The New York Mets, who scuffled about a week ago, seem to have righted the ship as they won three games in a row heading into Monday and hold a 2.5-game lead over the Philadelphia Phillies in the National League East. The Chicago Cubs hold a 3.5-game lead over the Milwaukee Brewers for the division crown in the Central Division. The West Division has been a close race all season long, but the Arizona Diamondbacks set the pace with a 2.5-game lead over the San Diego Padres and a four-game lead over the surging Colorado Rockies.

The Rockies may not be able to win the West, but with their eight-game winning streak entering Monday, they have sprinted their way back into the wild card hunt. They are now only 1.5 games behind the leading Padres, and the Padres, who have lost three games in a row at week's end, are barely hanging on as they lead the Phillies by only half a game.

For the true baseball fans, this last week will not be a letdown.

Here is a look at the remaining games for the playoff contending teams:

American League

Cleveland Indians: At Seattle for four games, at Kansas City for three games

Los Angeles Angels: At Texas for three games, at Oakland for three games

Boston Red Sox: Home against Oakland for two games, home against Minnesota for four games

New York Yankees: Home against Toronto, at Tampa Bay for three games, at Baltimore for three games

National League

Arizona Diamondbacks: At Pittsburgh for three games, at Colorado for three games

New York Mets: Home against Washington for three games, home against St. Louis for one game, home against Florida for three games

Chicago Cubs: At Florida for three games, at Cincinnati for three games

San Diego Padres: At San Francisco for three games, at Milwaukee for four games

Philadelphia Phillies: Home against Atlanta for three games, home against Washington for three games

Colorado Rockies: At Los Angeles Dodgers for three games, home against Arizona for three games

Milwaukee Brewers: Home against St. Louis for three games, home against San Diego for four games

Posted by Phil Backert at 10:28 AM | Comments (0)

September 22, 2007

McNabb and the Racist Fans

It's easy to dismiss Rush Limbaugh as a delusional blowhard; it's more difficult to credit him as a person of influence, as venomous and disparaging as that influence is.

I listened to Limbaugh for the first time in years about a month ago, when a fender-bender took away my satellite radio and forced me to surf the terrestrial airwaves in my rental car for content. I landed on Limbaugh's afternoon program on a scratchy A.M. station, and heard an elderly female caller rant about the intrusion of the federal government into her life.

Illegal wiretaps? Laws that govern what medical choices she can or cannot make? Taxes? Nope. Her beef was that the Feds would follow some municipalities and make it illegal for her to smoke in her car with the windows up if she had a small child in the backseat. She said it was just like when governments forced drivers to — gasp! — wear seatbelts (which, I'm pretty sure, was a win/win situation for all involved).

Limbaugh, of course, came out in favor of the nicotine hot-boxing of toddlers, and humored this crackpot to the point of mutual admiration. I began scanning the frequencies for anything from a Korean-language channel to an all-polka station to escape this idiocy.

But the fact remains that this nut on the phone is like millions of listeners every day — they're acolytes of an entertainer masquerading as a political sage, and his words carry weight with that crowd and resonate through the media when it chooses to allow him a forum.

Like ESPN did, back in 2003, when the network made one of its most public blunders by putting Limbaugh on its NFL pre-game show panel. That led to this infamous comment about the media and Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb:

"I think what we've had here is a little social concern in the NFL. The media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well. There is a little hope invested in McNabb, and he got a lot of credit for the performance of this team that he didn't deserve. The defense carried this team."

It's not as if McNabb suddenly looked in a mirror and declared, "What do you mean I'm not white!?" He'd been dealing with the legacy and the challenges of a black man playing quarterback since he first strapped on a helmet. But this public calling out by Limbaugh resonated through the media, with McNabb fielding questions for months and columnists using the incident as a jumping-off point to a larger debate. McNabb wasn't Akili Smith; he was the quarterback on a successful team, and his champions felt he was unduly criticized by fans because of the color of his skin.

Four years later, McNabb is still facing the tempest that Limbaugh stirred. On HBO's "Real Sports" this month, McNabb claimed that black quarterbacks face far greater scrutiny than white quarterbacks in the NFL. "Because the percentage of us playing this position, which people didn't want us to play ... is low, so we do a little extra," he said.

(An aside: Isn't it interesting that HBO Sports has made more news with its "Real Sports" magazine than ESPN makes with, at last count, 73 different networks? It's a case of true sports journalism vs. info-tainment; HBO gives us McNabb on racism, while ESPN gives us a 10-year-old on "Sunday Countdown." Hey, you've already got Keyshawn Johnson on staff — one child is enough.)

First thing's first: considering where his team is at this point, McNabb going on record on this subject in a high-profile interview during the NFL season is as distracting to the Eagles as anything Terrell Owens did while wearing No. 81 in green. Granted, Philly's fortunes were unknown when the interview was taped, but McNabb had to know this thing would drop during the season and that this hot button would be pressed.

Others, however, celebrate his candor, no matter the timing. Michael Wilbon in Friday's Washington Post cheered McNabb and jeered fellow black quarterbacks Jason Campbell and Vince Young for basically passing on an invitation to join the fight. Wow, imagine that: two young quarterbacks more concerned with fielding questions about this week's opponent than affecting further social change during Week 3. Whodathunkit...

Wilbon played McNabb's comments off as commonplace and non-revelatory; that any black athlete, entertainer, or politician is scrutinized more that their white counterparts. And then the "PTI" co-bellower dropped the ace of race cards:

"Anybody who doubts McNabb needs only to walk around one of the upper-concourse areas of Lincoln Financial Field late in a game when, as several white friends have told me, the frequent use of the word 'nigger' preceding McNabb's name during a losing performance is so casual it sickens them."

Were this case to go to trial, the association between use of the "N-word" and racism being at the core of those fans' criticism of McNabb would circumstantial at best. (Well, unless it was the first O.J. jury.)

NEWS FLASH: There are scumbags lurking in the upper deck of every stadium in every NFL city; except for Jacksonville, which can barely fill its upper deck for most home games. Many of them are loaded after hours of pre-gaming. Many of them believe it's their right to say and do anything outrageous when it comes to support or criticism of their team. That includes attacking an athlete from the comfort of their upper deck seat or living room couch with the most personal diatribes possible.

One of these yokels dropping the "N-bomb" on McNabb is no different than a disgruntled Lions/Dolphins/Falcons fan dropping an "F-bomb" on Joey Harrington. (The one that rhymes with "hag," not "Chuck.") I don't think these people give a rat's ass what Harrington's sexual preference is — nor should any of us — and I don't think many of those fans at the Linc in Philly are really all that concerned with McNabb's race.

I think they want to find the single most derogatory and degrading adjective they can — realistic or not — and then apply it to the target of their ire.

(An aside: Googling "NFL" and "quarterback" and that derogatory sexual term above returns 71,000 hits.)

If we learned anything from Michael Richards's outburst at the Laugh Factory, it's that unsophisticated white men will resort to unconscionable slurs when seeking to verbally assail a black man. Kramer tried to silence a heckler by upping the ante, an attempt to amplify his outrage with forbidden verbiage. To say it failed would be an understatement; I'm pretty sure Richards couldn't get a job selling "Seinfeld" DVDs at Best Buy these days.

I'm not saying there aren't racists who are overly critical of McNabb because he's black. I'm not saying McNabb doesn't feel the pressure to play better than white contemporaries because he's facing a legacy of scrutiny. But when it comes to fans calling McNabb out on his race to criticize his performance, it's a symptom of our go-for-the-jugular, Internet muscles society where slurs about race and gender and sexual preference have replaced intelligent discourse. A society where it's easier to dismiss a group as "nappy headed ho's" than to craft some sort of meaningful satirical commentary.

I don't think McNabb, Campbell, and Young face the same sort of racist backlash that Doug Williams, Warren Moon, and even Randall Cunningham did. What they face is something equally as repugnant: fans who comfortably wade into racist waters as an exclamation point for their disapproval of a black athlete, who then claim their disgusting thoughts were aired just to get a rise out of their buddies.

Ah, the "I'm just an entertainer" defense. Limbaugh perfected that years ago.

Greg Wyshynski is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 10:43 AM | Comments (3)

September 20, 2007

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 3

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Arizona @ Baltimore (-7)

Matt Leinart's experience with "Ravens" is limited to the "Raven's" he's encountered on his numerous visits to gentlemen's clubs across this great nation. While the young Cardinal quarterback may have had his way with those Raven's, he won't be so lucky against the defense of the Baltimore Ravens.

"Let's hope not," says Leinart. "That stuff is a crime in most states. I can't imagine getting a lap dance from Ray Lewis, and I doubt Steve 'Repair' McNair could work the pole without injuring himself."

Win or lose, Baltimore apparently is not a favorite of NFL officiating crews. In Week 1, a phantom offensive interference call may have cost the Ravens a chance to force overtime against the Bengals. Last week, Brian Billick accused the Jets of illegally simulating the snap count, causing several Raven procedure penalties. So, does that mean there is a way to "legally" simulate the snap count. Billick said he wasn't "complaining," but the Jets tactics were "illegal." Somebody cue the Air Supply music, please.

"Look, I'm not whining," says Billick. "And cut that Air Supply music. I know it's hard to believe that there are cheaters in the NFL, but there are. I'm far from innocent. My ego's been on human growth hormone for six years, since the Lewis', Ray and Marvin, won me a Super Bowl. And I cheat regularly when I play Yahtzee."

Athletic tape is no longer useful in bandaging McNair. Duct tape is the only thing that can hold him together now. No matter who plays at quarterback for the Ravens, whether it be McNair or Kyle Boller, the team won't score 30 points. And with their defense, they won't need to, unless the offense turns the ball over six times. Baltimore establishes the run, and Willis McGahee breaks 100 yards. Leinart has success through the air, but the Ravens defense holds when it needs to. Baltimore wins, 22-17.

San Diego @ Green Bay (+4)

Was the Chargers' 38-14 loss to the Patriots embarrassing? I don't mean 'wear-your-shorts-in-public-and-your-wife's-panties-are-stuck-to-your-velcro-pocket-flap' embarrassing, but 'Marsellus Wallace-bent-over-a-pommel-horse-in-Pulp Fiction' embarrassing. That embarrassing.

"You're exactly right," says Phillip Rivers, whose passer rating for the game was officially listed as 'Rex Grossman.' "I'd say it was 'fire-you're-head-coach-after-a 14-2-season' embarrassing. Or, you could say it was 'draft-Ryan Leaf-second-overall' embarrassing. Even better, it was 'lose-the-Super Bowl-49-to-26' embarrassing. If the Patriots were video-taping our coaches giving signals, then I'd like to see the tape, because I think we missed every one."

The Packers are 2-0, atop the NFC North with Detroit, and Brett Favre can't hide his excitement.

"Man, I'm tickled to death," says Favre. "My spit cup is overflowing with excitement. I wish I could see Vince Lombardi in this atmosphere, if not for any other reason than to see him in Bermuda shorts and a tank top. When Vince coached here, I don't think it got above 32 Fahrenheit in September. I can hear him now: 'What the hell is going on here?!'"

The Chargers are giving four points, but that number could be much higher. It's a deflated line due to the Packers' 2-0 start and the Chargers' blowout loss. The San Diego defense is struggling, and the Green Bay defense is one the experts like to say "flies to the ball." Well, I guess that's better than a defense that "casually skips" to the ball. The Packers keep it close for three quarters, but LaDainian Tomlinson's second score of the day gives the Bolts a 24-14 win.

Indianapolis @ Houston (+5)

The Texans are 2-0 for the first time in franchise history, setting the stage for Sunday's showdown in Houston against the undefeated Colts, with the winner taking the lead in the AFC South. Houston beat the Colts last December, the Colts' last loss before they ran the table to the Super Bowl.

"Well, dadgum," says Peyton Manning. "Here's hoping another loss to the Texans propels us to the Super Bowl title again. Of course, that loss was to the David Carr-quarterbacked Texans. Now, the Texans are led by Matt Schaub, who, like a good quarterback, knows how to get rid of the ball before taking a sack. And he doesn't have a silly hairdo like that Soprano do that Carr sports."

Sure, this game means more to the Texans than the Colts. Even with a loss, Indy knows they can somehow eke out a division title by four games come January. Houston will play inspired ball, but without Andre Johnson, who will Schaub throw to? The Colts get their revenge with a 34-27 win.

Minnesota @ Kansas City (-2½)

Do you think either offense will score in this game? The Chiefs have found the end zone once in two games, while the Vikes have scored only two offensive touchdowns. In fact, the Minnesota defense has scored one more touchdown than their offense, and are second in the NFL in takeaways.

"Indeed, the offense is having trouble scoring," says safety Darren Sharper. "But we've got a cure for that: a boat ride. And if we can get Larry Johnson to display his rhyming skills on our next cruise, then Isaac the Bartender says all drinks are on the house."

That may have been an impostor claiming to be Johnson who rapped on the mike, just as it may have been an impostor in that No. 27 jersey who's rushed for only 98 yards on 26 carries.

"No, that's the real L.J.," says Johnson. "Normally, after two games, I would have had 98 carries, not yards. Maybe my legs are shot. Now you see why I was so anxious to sign that contract extension. All it takes is one trip to get to the bank. That's what you call rhymin' and stealin'."

Johnson won't be able to run against the Vikes, who boast one of the NFL's best run defenses. The Chiefs will have to resort to the pass, which gives Minnesota a pretty good chance to score. The Vikings defense comes up with three turnovers, and Adrian Peterson rushes for a score. Vikings win, 20-13.

Buffalo @ New England (-15)

The Patriots issued a statement in their 38-14 demolition of the Chargers: the fallout from the illegal video taping of a Jets coach is behind them, and, if you need a bootlegged CD or DVD, they've more than likely got it in their collection.

"Grateful Dead, 1981, Russelsheim, Germany?" says Tom Brady. "Got it. Terminator recorded in 1984 at a 75-seat theater, on Beta? Got it."

How about "Giselle Bundchen, 2007, showering?"

"Had it," replies Brady. "Destroyed that, and many others, in a panic in the Jets' video scare. I didn't realize when the NFL requested all of our film, they only meant film of a football nature."

Whatever your video needs, the Patriots probably have it. However, if you're looking for game video of a Buffalo win in 2007, that's currently under production. And it surely won't happen on Sunday, not against the Patriots, who, if they aren't peaking now, surely don't leave the rest of the league much hope. And they've been dominating without Rodney Harrison and Richard Seymour.

Early in the first quarter, Randy Moss, making chit-chat, asks Bills cornerback Terrence McGee if he's familiar with the hit USA Network show Burn Notice." Before McGee can reply, Moss is by him for a 45-yard score. Later in the game, Bills quarterback J.P. Losman experiences interference in the speaker in his helmet. Instead of signals from the coaches, Losman hears the Goo Goo Dolls' "Dizzy Up the Girl" in its entirety.

Ironically, this breakdown in communication results in Buffalo's most consistent offensive plays to date. Losman connects on a bomb to 1968 Olympic 400m gold medalist Lee Evans. The Bills still lose 31-14, and the Foxboro crowd enjoys the show on the Jumbo-Tron, in which a video of Belichick writing a $500,000 check is played on a continual loop. The Bills' return to Buffalo to find O.J. Simpson in their Hall of Fame demanding the return of his stolen memorabilia.

Miami @ NY Jets (-3)

Is it time for the Jets' yearly quarterback controversy? Kellen Clemens got the start over the injured Chad Pennington, and nearly led the Jets to the tying touchdown late in the fourth quarter, and would have, were it not for the buttery fingers of receiver Justin McCareins.

"There is no quarterback controversy," says Eric "The Ice" Mangini. "How can you have a quarterback controversy and not have Vinny Testaverde involved in it? Vinny was an informant for the Patriots not too long ago, so we had to have him wacked."

The Dolphins held a 13-10 lead early in the third quarter that disintegrated into a 37-20 loss to the Cowboys. Trent Green threw four interceptions and fumbled twice, once while attempting to spike the ball.

"Look, Trent is our quarterback," says Cam Cameron. "There is no controversy in Miami, especially since Dan Marino has adamantly refused a comeback. Trent's still learning this offense, and his hand-hand coordination is still a little off. Once he's able to get the square block in the square hole and the round block in the round hole, I think you'll see a vast improvement."

During Miami's Saturday walk-through, Green wanders away from the Meadowlands complex, later to be found in Central Park playing chess. He makes it back for Sunday's game, but he faces a Jets defense intent on recording its first sack and first takeaway of the season. The Jets pressure Green from all angles, forcing three turnovers. New York wins 23-13, giving the state of New York its first win of the year.

Detroit @ Philadelphia (-6 1/2)

Heroic efforts in Detroit are usually reserved for KISS concerts in Cobo Hall, but Detroit quarterback Jon Kitna offered his name to Detroit lore by returning from a concussion in the Lions 20-17 overtime win over the Vikings. Okay, maybe his name won't be mentioned in the same breath with Gordie Howe, or Ace Frehley, but Kitna's effort was impressive to many, especially backup quarterback Dan Orlovsky, who called Kitna "the best quarterback in the NFL." Orlovsky was then diagnosed with a concussion of his own, with a side of sheer stupidity.

"Yeah, I know Jon's got four fewer rings than Tom Brady and Peyton Manning combined," says Orlovsky. "But Jon's got something I call the equalizer: it's a pair of brass knuckles. When he puts those on, he's got four rings, too. I know for a fact that Brady and Manning can't take a punch, and definitely couldn't return to a game after a concussion."

"You're telling me that Kitna was injured, and he came back in the same game?" asks Donovan McNabb, who suffers from phantom pains, on occasion, in his ankle, chest, knee, and wherever you get a sports hernia. "Wow! I'm impressed. Somebody toss that guy a squid."

McNabb and the Eagles will look for their first win this year, and McNabb will look for some consistent quarterback performance that will make his critics forget that he's black and forget that he sucks right now. Kitna has all of Detroit believing in the Lions, and Matt Millen knows the Lions are one win away from securing his job for another year. Kitna passes the Lions to a 27-23 win.

San Francisco @ Pittsburgh (-8½)

The Steelers opened as 8½-point favorites over the 49ers, or is that 8½ the number sizes that Barry Bonds' head increased from his years as a Pirate to his current time as a Giant?

"Take the over," says Pittsburgh coach Mike Tomlin. "Bonds is the only player whose bobblehead doll is in exact proportion to the real thing. Enough about baseball. I don't want to hear about the Pirates unless Willie Stargell's at the plate and 'We Are Family' is playing over the speakers. Our focus is on the 49ers. They're a very good team and well-coached. We have nothing but respect for the 49ers, and we fully support their alternative lifestyles."

The 49ers survived a last-second field goal miss against the Rams to remain undefeated, and currently hold the status as the NFC's luckiest 2-0 team. If teams qualified for the Super Bowl based on that merit alone, then the 49ers would face the Broncos for the title. San Francisco coach Mike Nolan offers no apologies, though.

"I need only apologize for one thing," says Nolan. "And that's for looking so damn good in a suit. I know the citizens of Pittsburgh love their Steelers, but every girl crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man."

Are the 49ers for real? They are, but only in the NFC West. This is the AFC North. San Fran gives a valiant effort, but the Steelers prevail, 24-17.

St. Louis @ Tampa Bay (-3½)

Should there be cause for concern in St. Louis? After Jeff Wilkins' 56-yard field goal clanked off the crossbar, the Rams are 0-2 and in last place in the NFC West. Marc Bulger is fifth in the league in passing, but has been sacked 8 times, and will be lucky to last the duration of the season. Orlando Pace is out for the season and the rushing attack has suffered, allowing teams to tee off on Bulger.

"If our offensive line was an invisible fence," says Bulger, "then Orlando was the electricity. Without him, it lets anything through. If my line was a condom, I'd be pregnant. If things don't improve, I'll soon be lying in the fetal position."

It's clear that the Buccaneers have found their quarterback in Jeff Garcia, and it's clear that wherever Garcia goes, he's a winner. Show me one person who doesn't agree with that who's not Terrell Owens.

"Oh boy, not the subject of T.O. again," laments Garcia. "I'm just glad to be in a place where my teammates respect me for who I am. My relationship with T.O. went downhill when he found out I was president of a homeowners' association. He misinterprets everything."

The Buccaneers win 24-20 behind another two touchdown passes from Garcia. After the game, Bucs cornerback Ronde Barber praises the leadership ability of Garcia.

Jacksonville @ Denver (-3)

Little ditty, about Jack and Shanahan, two AFC coaches doing the best they can. Jackie's got a team that watching is a bore. Shanny calls time outs, so the Raiders can't score.

"Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill, of [John] Elway is gone," sings Mike Shanahan. He walks on.

Shanahan is living proof that assholes can be a success in this league. Even if they have to resort to silly acts of gamesmanship to achieve that success.

"Hey, don't hate me because I'm an asshole," pleads Shanahan. "Since when has Sebastian Janikowski been the good guy in any situation? He's a creep. Look, I could have called the timeout to ice him, or I could have told him his latest shipment of GHB was backordered. I figured with the timeout, I wouldn't have to talk to him. I've heard that when you just talk to Janikowski, you run the risk of suddenly feeling woozy and ending up in his car, defenseless. I didn't want to go there."

Jack Del Rio and crew haven't found their rushing game groove, and you definitely can't throw on Champ Bailey and the Broncos. Jason Elam again leads the Bronco charge, with three field goals. Denver wins, 16-12.

Cleveland @ Oakland (-3)

A spectacular goal-line stand by the Browns preserved a 51-45 win over the Bengals last Sunday. Actually, it wasn't a goal-line stand, it was a interception by Leigh Bodden at the 27-yard line that allowed the Browns to get their first win. But, in a 51-45 game, the 27 might as well be the goal line. Derek Anderson put the calls for Brady Quinn to rest, temporarily, with a 328-yard, 5-touchdown performance against the 11 players the Bengals had on the field posing as a defense.

"I've seen those blocking dummies at the NFL Skills Competition play better defense," says Anderson, an Oregon State alum who goes by the nickname 'The Beaver Cleaver' when he carves up defenses for five scores. "Brady will get his chance, sooner than he thinks. Heck, we traded our Week 1 starter the following week. I could be gone by game time."

The Raiders fell victim to some gamesmanship from that snively Bronco coach Mike Shanahan, who called a timeout just before the snap on Sebastian Janikowski's 52-yard field goal. Janikowski nailed the kick, which would have given the Raiders an overtime win, but he was forced to rekick and missed. Jason Elam later won it with a 23-yard kick.

"You think you have victory in the grasp of your arthritic, spindly fingers," says Raiders owner Al Davis. "Then, like a thief in the night, it's snatched from the clutches of your buggy-whip arms. Raiders fans know the feeling. It's just like having your team in Oakland moved to Los Angeles."

The Raiders defense has an achievable goal ahead of them — hold the Browns under 51. Mission accomplished! Oakland wins, 29-23. Cleveland's Braylon Edwards channels Chad Johnson when he attempts to leap into the end zone of the Black Hole after a score, but is stopped short by by a health official who gives the Black Hole a failing sanitation rating.

Cincinatti @ Seattle (-3)

My vote for boneheaded play of the week goes to Seattle's Matt Hasselbeck and Shaun Alexander, who botched a handoff and fumbled late in the fourth quarter in Arizona, which eventually led to Neil Rackers' game-winning field goal in the Seahawks' 20-17 loss.

"Throw in a clumsy fat guy, a hammer, a poke to the eye, and some unmistakable theme music," says Mike Holmgren, "and you've got the makings of a Three Stooges episode. We can't have mistakes like that by our veterans if we have any intentions of winning the West with a 7-9 record."

Chad Johnson survived a leap into the Dawg Pound in Cleveland, but the Bengals as a team were a 51-45 casualty in Cleveland. After his second touchdown catch, Johnson leapt into the Dawg Pound and was, for the most part, offered a nice greeting, except for one fan who dumped a beer on Johnson. Have you Cleveland fans no pride? You should have drank the beer, and poured, I don't know, lighter fluid, maybe, on Johnson. You Dawg Pounders are too well-behaved to have lit it, though. Does Cincy play at Oakland this year? But seriously, Johnson's previous touchdown celebration, when he attempted to jump into the Dawg Pound, but was "saved" by T.J. Houshmandzedah, was more entertaining. That, among his other co-starring roles, should earn Houshmandzedah a lifetime achievement award for the category of "best supporting actor in a Chad Johnson touchdown celebration."

Houshmandzedah has 100 yards receiving and a score, and the Bengals, who apparently had some bullets left over from their shootout in Cleveland, win this one, 34-31. Chad Johnson scores a TD, and celebrates by igniting the football, going to his knees, and doing his best Jimi Hendrix impression.

Carolina @ Atlanta (+4)

What jumps out at you the most about the Panthers' home-opening loss to the Texans last week? Was it the fact that the Panthers' vaunted front seven had no sacks of Matt Schaub, and very few pressures? Or was it the fact that of 17 Panther first downs, only one was accomplished via the running game?

"None of those," says Steve Smith. "What shocked me most was what I saw on the scoreboard: Texans 34, Steve Smith 21. I don't think I could score any more points for this team. That is, unless our defensive backfield played for the other team. Then I could definitely score more."

The Panthers won't have to contend with Michael Vick, who's always given them trouble. But they will have to contend with Joey Harrington, who's always given the Falcons trouble. The Falcons have struggled offensively, with only 10 points scored in two games. But help is on the way. Atlanta signed 47-year old kicker Morten Anderson, mostly to shore up a erratic kicking game, but also to sit some of the younger Falcons on his lap and regale them with stories of yesteryear, of a time of loose women, speak-easies, cheap booze, and helmets with no facemasks. And former Jacksonville quarterback/pain in Jack Del Rio's rear Byron Leftwich signed with Atlanta, giving them a second quarterback who has no business playing in the NFL.

So, will the Panthers continue their roller coaster ways? Up one week, down the next, making their fans want to vomit at the end? You bet. Last week was a down week; it's time for an up. Smith is his usual self, with a score, and Julius Peppers has his name mentioned during the game for the first time this year, with two sacks. Steve Smith, I mean Carolina, wins, 23-17.

NY Giants @ Washington (-3 1/2)

After battling the Packers to a near-stalemate, trailing 14-13 in the fourth quarter, the Giants surrendered 21 points and lost, 35-13. The Giants are 0-2, and have given up an average of 40 points in those two losses. The offense has been sporadic, the defense has been atrocious, and their list of critics includes more than just the name of Tiki Barber.

"What we need is motivation," says Michael Strahan, the lucky recipient of not a single Brett Favre laydown last Sunday. "And I'm not talking about the kind of motivation Tom Coughlin can offer, which always seems to involve yelling and sprinting. What we need is a cocaine-fueled pep talk from the original 'L.T.,' Lawrence Taylor, in which he mentions crazed dogs, China White, sex with multiple women, and rips a lightning-bolt earring from his lobe and eats it. If L.T.'s not available, then golf analyst Dottie Pepper is certainly welcome to label us 'chokin,' freakin' dogs.' If she's tied up, then FOX sideline reporter Pam Oliver can get our attention by calling us quitters to our faces. Wait, hasn't she already done that?"

Yeah, she did, but still managed to look pretty darn cute doing it, too.

After beating the Eagles 20-12 in Philadelphia, the Redskins are off to a surprising 2-0 start.

"I know all you doubters out there might be demanding a recount," says Joe Gibbs, "but it ain't going to happen. I've got the President's word on that."

Washington wins, 27-20.

Dallas @ Chicago (-3)

Tony Romo is a hero in Dallas, while Rex Grossman is practically a villain in Chicago. Romo's had to live down one mistake in his career (the fumbled snap of a potentially game-winning field goal at Seattle in the playoffs last year), while Grossman has to live down mistakes on a weekly basis. Grossman is rarely seen with a woman; Romo can't go anywhere without country sprite Carrie Underwood on his arm.

"I call that 'sporting 'Wood,' says Romo, proudly.

Grossman may not have the support of fans, but head coach Lovie Smith continues to stand by the beleaguered quarterback.

"Rex Grossman is our quarterback," says Smith. "The jury is still out on whether he's a mental midget. If he wants to make this game a personal battle with Romo, that's his right. We just need him to make plays, not mistakes. Romo's a good example of a guy who doesn't let mistakes bother him. And he knows how to improvise. Rex needs to show the same type of improvisation on the fly that some of his teammates do, like Devin Hester reversing direction on a punt return, or Lance Briggs reporting his Lamborghini stolen after he wrecked it. It's that kind of quick thinking that makes champions."

Remember last year, when the 3-0 Seahawks came to Chicago on a Sunday night all hot to trot. Well, they got whipped 37-6. The Bears won't spank the 'Boys that bad, but expect them to dominate. Every three games or so, Rex Grossman decides to play a smart game. It's about that time. Grossman throws for two scores against the shaky Dallas defense, and the Bears defense gets physical, which means the Dallas offense gets horizontal. Chicago wins, 31-20.

Tennessee @ New Orleans (-5 1/2)

Oh when the Saints, oh when the Saints, oh when the Saints go marching in (to the end zone, finally, it won't be until their seventh quarter of the season). That's how long it took the Saints to score an offensive touchdown, when fullback Mike Karney crossed the threshold to paydirt. The Saints' celebration was somewhat subdued, but that's to be expected, especially since they trailed 28-0 at the time.

"Sure, things look bad right now," says Sean Payton. "But New Orleans is all about recovery. This city's been through much worse. 0-2 doesn't even approach the tragedy and trauma of Mike Ditka blowing a whole draft's worth of picks for Ricky Williams, does it?"

Tennessee's Vince Young is not one to post gaudy statistics, unless he's playing USC in the national championship game. But he is a great leader, and always seems to make the plays that keep the Titans in games. As of yet, the curse of being on the cover of the "Madden '08" video game has yet to manifest itself.

"Well, that's not totally true," says Young. "I feel a sudden uneasiness about flying creeping into my psyche, and I'm starting to feel a growing infatuation with Brett Favre. Boom!"

Can the Saints finally get it together and win a game? A third straight loss and fans might start dropping the "S" from "Saints" and brown-bagging it. Young and the Titans will try to run the ball right at the Saints. So far, the Saints haven't shown they can stop it. Titans win, 22-20.

Last week: 10-6 (straight up); 5-10-1 (against the spread)
Overall: 20-12 (straight up); 12-17-3 (against the spread)

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:59 AM | Comments (0)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 27

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jeff Gordon — Like the other 41 cars in the field, Gordon spent his day following Clint Bowyer's No. 07 car in a four-hour game of follow the leader. After passing Tony Stewart on lap 224, Gordon made no headway in chasing down Bowyer, who wan handily by over six seconds.

"I guess Clint asked himself, 'Do I feel lucky?'" says Gordon. "Well, do ya, punk? I guess the answer was 'yes.' Clint ran the gauntlet and ran his car every which way but loose."

2. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson finished sixth in New Hampshire, and in doing so, lost the 20-point lead over second he had worked all year to accumulate. Johnson still is in first, tied with teammate Jeff Gordon, who finished second.

"How could Bowyer have been so good?" asks Johnson. "He was far better than anyone else in the field. It defies explanation. I don't want to say there was cheating involved, but there's a couple of hours on Saturday that Chad Knaus was unaccounted for. He sure as heck didn't set me up with a winning car."

3. Tony Stewart — Stewart finished third behind Clint Bowyer and Jeff Gordon to maintain third in the points. Stewart cut his deficit to the points leader from 30 to 10.

"I wish there was more to talk about," says Stewart, "but nothing happened in that race. Very few wrecks and no feuds to speak of. Much like a Formula 1 race, just without the $100 million fine. If you're holding a 780-page document of your biggest competitor's secrets and you fail to use it before you're caught, you deserve a $100 million fine."

4. Kyle Busch — Busch finished fourth in New Hampshire to climb three places in the standings to fifth, where he is 35 points out of the lead.

"I feel I'm perfectly capable of winning this thing," says Busch. "It's something I want badly, just so I can rub it in the faces of those who said I couldn't do it, particularly my brother Kurt."

5. Clint Bowyer — Bowyer completely dominated the field in New Hampshire, leading 222 of 300 laps in route to a massive six-second victory over second-place Jeff Gordon. The win moved him from last in the 12-man field to fourth, where he trails Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson by 15 points.

"Having the No. 07 Jack Daniels' Chevrolet out front for so long was a great feeling," says Bowyer. "Not only for me, but for drinkers of Jack Daniels. I just hope they weren't playing the 'Bowyer Leads a Lap, Take a Shot' game."

6. Martin Truex, Jr. — Truex scored his sixth top-five of the year by coming home fifth in New Hampshire. That moved him up one spot in the points to sixth, where he trails the leaders by 40 points.

"So, Kasey Kahne is the new face of Budweiser," says Truex. "And Dale Earnhardt, Jr.'s new number is 88. Well, Bud sales to men just dropped, and no one remembers that Dale Jarrett drove the 88 car."

7. Carl Edwards — Edwards wrecked his primary car in Friday practice, forcing him to qualify in the backup. After a solid 11th qualifying position, a rainout of Saturday's final practice left Edwards unable to shake down the backup. Still, he finished a respectable 12th, but seven of the twelve Chasers finished better.

"Isn't it funny how quickly Roush has gone from NASCAR's top team just a few years ago to an alao-ran?" says Edwards. "Do you think it has anything to do with their partnership with Fenway. Maybe some of that red Sox magic rubbed off on us. Nobody blows a lead like the Red Sox."

8. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth, showing the consistency that has made him no threat to win the Cup, had another poor qualifying effort that started him 30th. He still battled his way to a seventh, his 17th top 10 of the year.

"Hey, at least I'm a Team Dish All-Star," says Kenseth. "We'll just keep turning laps and hoping for the best. If a crack in the earth opens up and swallows five or six of the top contenders, then we might have a chance to win this thing."

9. Kevin Harvick — Harvick suffered two flat tires on the Loudon surface last Sunday, one of which caused him to fall from sixth th 36th, a lap down to the leaders. Harvick also avoided disaster when he just missed the spinning car of Reid Sorenson.

"I don't go looking for it," says Harvick, "but excitement always seem to find me. Whether I'm giving the infield a high-speed lawn job or going to war with Juan Pablo Montoya, you always get a show."

10. Kurt Busch — Busch's Dodge lost a cylinder about 120 laps into the Sylvania 300, handicapping his efforts for a solid start to the Chase. Busch finished the race one lap down in 25th, the worst finish among Chase qualifiers. He is now last in the 12-man Chase, 102 points out of first.

"I guess this puts us in a hole," says Busch. "But we've put ourselves in holes before. Like when I nearly ran over one of Tony Stewart's crewmen and was docked 100 points. That penalty was a slap in the face, but it definitely hurt less than the one Jimmie Spencer gave me."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:44 AM | Comments (1)

September 19, 2007

Who Needs TV? Byrnes Show a Hit

There's little doubt in anyone's mind where Eric Byrnes is going to go after he retires.

After rave reviews stemming from his stints as a contributor to FOX's coverage of Saturday baseball, and his co-hosting appearance at last year's World Series, Byrnes seems destined to become a great athlete-turned-TV personality when his playing days are over, but for now, let's take time to appreciate what Byrnes is doing on the field.

The D-Backs are one game up on San Diego in the NL West, and while the pitching of Brandon Webb and Jose Valverde, in addition to some last season call-ups, certainly have helped Arizona's cause, the steady and effective play of Byrnes is likely why this team will make the playoffs for the first time since 2002. Remember that it was only three years ago in '04 when Arizona finished with a horrendous 51-111 record.

Byrnes has always shown promise, which started when he was part of two dynamic UCLA lineups that included Toronto's Troy Glaus and Colorado's Garrett Atkins. After being drafted in his junior year by the Houston Astros, Byrnes opted to play another year with the Bruins and stayed in school, where he was a double major in history and economics.

Although Byrnes slipped from the fourth round, where he was drafted by Houston, to the eighth round in the '98 MLB Draft, where the Oakland A's drafted him, Byrnes left behind quite a legacy at UCLA, where he was named to the First Team All-Pac-10 team twice and was an honorable mention twice.

While Byrnes was making a pretty steady climb through the A's organization, his most noteworthy performance before he was a regular in the majors actually came in the Dominican Winter League in 2001 as a member of the Licey Tigers. Byrnes was named MVP of the league, as the Tigers won the league's championship.

With a ton of fanfare coming from Sacramento to the Caribbean, Byrnes seemed destined for big things, and Baseball Weekly agreed, naming Byrnes as one of top-10 best hitting prospects in baseball prior to the '02 season. Carlos Pena, who was Byrnes' teammate on the A's at the time, and is also having a breakout year so far with Tampa Bay, joined Byrnes on the list.

Byrnes manned left field for Oakland as a starter for three years. He instantly became a fan-favorite for his hustle and his work ethic. Byrnes was making "Baseball Tonight's" "Web Gems" on a regular basis.

The 2003 season ended on a sour note for Byrnes and the rest of the Oakland team, as the A's, despite having a 2-0 lead in the Division Series against Boston, could not win the deciding third game in each of their three chances. One of the lowest points of Byrnes' career also came in that series against the Sox, as a baserunning mistake by Byrnes, which could have been labelled by some as "ignorant" after he shoved catcher Jason Varitek at home plate, cost the A's a valuable run in Game 3.

The next year, it didn't seem as though the memories of that play at Fenway were on his mind, or at least his play suggested he had gotten past it, as Byrnes hit 20 homers, drove in 73, and stole 17 bases while hitting a respectable .283. Byrnes also showed his run scoring abilities despite a modest average, scoring 91 times.

After playing 100 games in back-to-back seasons for the first time in his major league career, Byrnes was figured to be a staple in left for the A's for years to come. That all ended 59 games into the '05 season, when he was traded to Colorado for Joe Kennedy and Jay Witasick. Byrnes struggled mightily with the Rockies, despite being in one of the most "hitter-friendly" parks in baseball. After hitting only .189 in 15 games, Byrnes was again traded, this time to Baltimore for young slugger Larry Bigbie.

Byrnes could never quite get it together in Baltimore either, hitting .192 with just 3 homers and 11 RBIs in 52 games. Byrnes hit the free agent market after the '05 season, and due to his recent struggles, could not claim nearly as much as he could have commanded just one year before that. Arizona signed Byrnes to a one-year, $2.25 million deal. With the new team, Byrnes got a chance to play the position he loved the most, center field.

"The opportunity to play center field was just huge for me. I've never really gotten a ton of opportunities. I've always felt that was my best position." Byrnes said in an AP interview conducted right after the deal was announced.

With the starting center field job mortgaged out to Byrnes for the one year, he did not disappoint the D-Backs brass that took a chance on him. Byrnes was an instant smash not only on the field, but off it, as well, as he brought the charm and character that had won him so many fans with him to Phoenix, becoming one of their most popular players. On the field, Byrnes showed why he was heralded as one of the best prospects not so long ago, hitting a career-high 26 home runs, 79 RBIs, and 25 steals, completing his first 20/20 season.

Going into the '06 offseason, Byrnes was arbitration-eligible, and earned a $4.575 million settlement. Even after having a career year, there continued to be some question as to whether or not Byrnes would be a D-Back after the '07 year was up. Josh Byrnes, Arizona's GM, did not try to sign Eric to a long-term deal, with the GM's reasoning being that the guys they had coming up in the organization was "an area of strength."

Eric Byrnes on Arizona's initial decision: "That's their decision. That's nothing that I have control over," Byrnes said. "As far as I'm concerned, everything that I've ever gotten in my baseball career and essentially in my life is something I had to work for and something I had to earn."

The "hard-working" part had not been an issue for Byrnes his entire baseball career. Seeing that his job could be jeopardy given guys like Carlos Quentin, Chris Young, and Justin Upton were steadily creeping up on the major league radar, Byrnes decided to put it into overdrive.

Arizona has good young talent all over the field, but it took a veteran like Byrnes, who has experienced both the highs and lows of the majors, to come in and be a presence for the new guys, and also, to be looked upon as someone who could provide consistency, as it would be almost impossible to expect all of the rookies to have immediate impacts on the team. Byrnes has so far taken the ball and ran with it in terms of his leadership role.

So far this season, Byrnes has been on a phenomenal tear, and he shows no signs of letting up anytime soon. Byrnes, through September 11th, has 21 homers, drove in a career-high 81 RBIs, and could do something that no Diamondback has done since Tony Womack in '99: score 100 runs and steal 50 bases. Byrnes has 94 runs and 45 steals with 16 games left to play. If Byrnes hits even one of those milestones, it will be a career-first.

Byrnes as shifted back over to left to make way for Young, but has to be happy in his current situation. He is playing better now than he ever has, and with his new three-year, $30 million contract, Byrnes can rest assured that he will be a fixture in Arizona's outfield for the foreseeable future. With Arizona being in first, and already eclipsing their winning total from last year (85 so far this year compared to 76 all of last year), Byrnes should definitely be given consideration for the league's Most Valuable Player Trophy.

Byrnes has been invaluable in the clubhouse, and in addition, he has produced some eye-popping numbers this year. Byrnes' will be up against some stiff competition however, with the Mets' David Wright and the Brewers' Prince Fielder both having huge seasons on fellow first-place teams. Also, it's hard to bet against both Albert Pujols, the '05 MVP, and Chase Utley, who despite missing 28 games with a broken hand, is having an incredible season for the hard-charging Phillies.

However, if you break down the award in the way it is presented, it is the "most valuable" player, not the guy who gets the best stats on the best team. Wright has Reyes and Beltran in his lineup, Fielder has been tremendous, but so has Milwaukee's entire team, especially Ryan Braun, Corey Hart, and J.J. Hardy. The Cardinals are fading in the playoff hunt, and the Phillies are still 1.5 games behind San Diego for the wildcard.

That leaves Byrnes. Not to say that Byrnes hasn't had some help this year, with Chris Young attempting to reach the 30/30 plateau as a rookie, and Brandon Webb going pseudo-Orel Hersheiser in August. Still, Byrnes is the leader of the D-Backs, and who knows if their transition from bottom dwellers to World Series contenders would have been as sudden if Byrnes was not on this roster. He has played in 145 out of a possible 146 games, so there's no questioning that his presence has been felt all season long.

Byrnes was an after-thought in '05 when he was traded twice during the season. Now he's the toast of Arizona and has implanted himself as one of the best in the game. My say likely will have no bearing on the actual vote itself, but it's getting really difficult for anyone to argue Byrnes' credentials to be given the NL MVP this season.

Posted by Rich Lyons at 11:56 AM | Comments (0)

Juicing Another Game?

I'm not sure if you heard about it, but some years back, baseball's top table dismissed talk of performance-enhancing drugs as irrelevant. In what is essentially a game of skill, they argued, no substance invented could better a player. If anything, bulking up would detract from a hitter's natural swing and slow-down a pitcher's wind-up.

It was, as it turns out, a misjudgment of George Bush proportions. In 2003, a survey of 568 major league players found 79% believed steroids played in a role in the glut of broken records which defined the game's most prolific decade. Steroids weren't quite an epidemic (7% tested positive that year), but in the hands of beefed-up sluggers Mark McGwire and Barry Bonds, they had already left an indelible mark of the soul of baseball. The game's overlords had either been oblivious or complicit.

Five years after MLB belatedly brought drugs testing to its ballparks, golf is finally following suit. In 2008, the European and U.S. tours will be carrying out random tests and placing their pristine reputations under the microscope for the first time. Quite why the decision has taken so long is baffling. Like baseball, golf is a game of sticks and balls. Fact: sticks hit the ball a lot further when wielded by steroid-enhanced torsos.

At this year's Open Championship, nine-time major winner Gary Player claimed at least 10 players on the Tour were taking performance-enhancing drugs. "One guy told me — and I took an oath prior to him telling me — but he told me what he did and I could see this massive change in him," he said. "And somebody else told me something I also promised I wouldn't tell, that verified others had done it."

Player talked specifically about the use of Human Growth Hormone, or HGH, as being the major problem. "Every doctor I go to, without fail, says 'Gary, you must take HGH.' He said it will make you stronger, your skin will be thicker because your skin starts to get scaly, your hair is stronger, your complexion will be better, you'll be more supple. He said you'll start hitting the ball 20 to 30 yards further."

In response, Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson were among those to brush aside speculation and assure golf fans that drugs were not a problem in professional golf. Retief Goosen, angered by Player's comments, demanded the 72-year-old name names. He then echoed a familiar theme. "I believe golf is clean," he said. "I don't think taking any kind of drugs will make you play better."

Goosen has evidently not read Howard Bryant's "Juicing the Game," nor does he fully understand the implications of performance-enhancing drugs. As long as drugs can make you practice harder, stay focused longer and keep you from feeling tired on the back nine of a tournament, they will be an issue for golf. Quite how much of an issue is yet to be seen, but golf should heed the lessons of baseball. Complacency is very dangerous.

Baseball, like an addled drunk, admitted it had a problem far too late to stop irreparable damage. It will be some time before we trust the sport again. If golf is to avoid similar embarrassment, one can only hope for swift and harsh punishment for the inevitable casualties during the first year of drugs testing. And that Tiger Woods tests negative.

Posted by Will Tidey at 11:47 AM | Comments (0)

September 18, 2007

In the Box: NFL Week 2

Before we get into the Week 2 box scores, two words from the world of college football:

Darren McFadden.

Some of you may remember my column about five months back, "Birth of a College Football Fan." In it, I swore to start following the "amateur" game, and, through the first three weeks, I couldn't be happier with the results.

So far, the best of what I've seen (in no particular order): Boston College and Matt Ryan, Florida and Tim Tebow, Oregon, LSU, Alabama, the tremendous loyalty shown Michigan coach Lloyd Carr, Steve Slaton, the lack of a controversy surrounding my favorite team, and illegally positioned cameras, the girls of Mississippi State (I was in New Orleans the weekend they played at Tulane), Lee Corso (sat next to him on an airport shuttle), Oklahoma, the Mountain West, Missouri, Brian Brohm's arm, USC.

And Darren McFadden.

College football sometimes produces loony numbers as All-Americans matchup against over-matched also-rans in town for a paycheck. But this was no mirage. I had seen McFadden play before, but not like this. This was a pure beast, a running back straight out of the movie 300, battering a very good Tide defense over and over again. 195 yards on 33 grueling carries. It was awesome. He could step onto an NFL roster right now and rush for 1,000 yards. And unless there's a QB-needy franchise salivating over Brian Brohm in the No. 1 spot next April, McFadden should be the top overall pick in the 2008 NFL Draft.

He's that good.

***

On to Week 2:

New England 38, San Diego 14: Man, did they play pissed off on Sunday night. Say what you will about the Pats and the camera shenanigans (and everybody has), but the unintended consequence of all this negativity has been the coalescence of individual talent into a solid team with as large a chip on their shoulder as you've ever seen. You're going to tell Tom Brady and Tedy Bruschi and Mike Vrabel and Matt Light that everything they've ever done doesn't count? That their entire careers are tainted? They're going to shove it up your arse. And they are not going to be gentle about it.

Good luck, Buffalo.

Fantasy impact: The defense that just shut down the best running game of the last half decade adds two-time Pro Bowler Rodney Harrison in a few weeks and five-time Pro Bowler Richard Seymour a few weeks after that (probably). Sad news for Laurence Maroney owners: it looks like Sammy Morris is going to be a touchdown stealer. It sucks, I know. Sorry.

Baltimore 20, New York Jets 13: With all the hullabaloo about the Pats' controversy and the debut of the Kellen Clemens era, Jerricho Cotchery quietly continues to go about proving he's one of the best WRs in the league. After Sunday's 7 receptions for 165 yards against Baltimore, he now trails only Chad Johnson, Randy Moss, Steve Smith, and Andre Johnson in total receiving yardage. And he's had by far the hardest competition of the five.

Fantasy impact: Leon Washington had zero carries in this game. Not a single one for a guy who totaled more than 1,100 all-purpose yards last year. That's a huge mistake by the coaching staff. Then again, when you face 18 third downs with an average of 8 yards to go, resulting in only one called third-down running play (Thomas Jones for –3), there's not much use for a third-down back, is there?

Cleveland 51, Cincinnati 45: With defense befitting an Arena Football training camp scrimmage, it's tough to make any sense of this game. Instead of looking at it as a whole, I'm going to look at it in two parts.

1. The Bengals' defense getting waxed by the Browns' offense: the only thing I can think of is that this was a perfect storm of a road defense coming off an emotional win on a short week running into a home offense led by a quarterback who had the weight of the world lifted off his shoulders with the departure of his main rival (Charlie Frye). You have to give credit to Phil Savage and Romeo Crennel for pulling the trigger on the Frye trade. They may have saved their season.

2. The Browns' defense getting waxed by the Bengals' offense: that's just the talent disparity between these two units. The Bengals' O is that much better than the Cleveland D.

In other words, if these teams were to play again next week (we have to wait until Week 16), the Bengals would be much more likely to put up 45 again than the Browns would be to put up 51 again.

Fantasy impact: I'd hesitate paying too big a price for a bunch of Browns guys who just put up what may very well be their season highs. Who knows? Maybe Derek Anderson-to-Braylon Edwards will be the new Brady-to-Moss (with the exception being Anderson has no hope of holding on to this job past this year). But chances are Anderson and the rest of the crew will fall back to Earth with a trip out to Oakland next week and a home game against Pittsburgh the following week.

San Francisco 17, St. Louis 16: The Rams' defense played far more inspired than they did against Carolina in Week 1, but that's still no excuse for Alex Smith and the 49ers' passing game to remain so conservative. Smith completed 11 passes (out of 17 attempts) against one of the weakest secondaries in the NFC, missing their best cover corner (Tye Hill). You've got to push the passing game more if you want to sustain the early success.

Fantasy impact: Poor Marc Bulger. With the offensive line in complete disarray and the running game going nowhere, Bulger is going to face a brutal onslaught week after week after week. The 49ers came after the Rams QB hard, and got to him for six sacks and a whole bunch of other hits. To his credit, Bulger kept fighting, putting up over 350 yards passing (145 to Isaac Bruce). But he's not going to last long taking this kind of beating, and their next two games are at Tampa and at Dallas. 0-4 isn't just a possibility, it's a likelihood. And so is another Bulger injury.

Green Bay 35, New York Giants 13: How to lose a close game in the NFL:

1. After kicking a field goal to get within one late in the third quarter, allow a 10-play, 80-yard drive over the next six minutes.

2. Now down by eight, fumble away the ensuing kick-off.

3. Allow another touchdown within five plays to go down 15.

4. Get ball back. Get sacked on first play. On 3rd-and-18, throw it to your running back for eight. Punt.

5. Force three-and-out. Get ball back. Drive to opponent's 38. Throw interception.

6. With the other team at 3rd-and-6 just outside of field-goal range, allow a 38-yard touchdown run.

7. Bathe in the love and adoration of your loyal fans.

Fantasy impact: Find people playing against the Giants defense and start them.

Pittsburgh 26, Buffalo 3: Make no mistake, the Steelers are going to have to be reckoned with before the much-predicted Colts/Pats AFC Championship Game can take place. So far, we've seen them beat up on Cleveland and Buffalo, so there's still some proving left to be done. With a trio of games against the NFC West (San Fran, @ Arizona, Seattle) coming up before their bye week, they could be 5-0 heading into a Week 7 showdown at Denver.

Fantasy impact: Four Steelers drives in the first half ended up with field goals under 40 yards. That's a lot of points left on the field. For Jeff Reed owners, that's great. For everybody else, not so great. My guess is they spend a little time on that in practice this week.

Tampa Bay 31, New Orleans 14: What in the name of Bourbon Street is going on with the Saints' running game? If there was one thing I thought was a sure thing going into this season, it was the New Orleans offensive line. But here we are, two weeks later, and Deuce McAllister and Reggie Bush have 152 yards rushing — combined. Of everything that's happened over the past two weeks, the no-show by the Saints' offense has to be the biggest shocker of them all.

Fantasy impact: The Saints have given up 10 passing plays of 25 or more yards in just eight quarters of football. Ten! That's more than one per quarter! I'm not sure Tennessee has the receivers to take advantage next Monday night, but the Titans' Roydell Williams might not be a bad flier.

Indianapolis 22, Tennessee 20: On a list of injuries that would most decimate their teams, Colts safety Bob Sanders (11 tackles, 2.5 sacks) would be top 10 easy. If you eliminate quarterbacks from the conversation, he's top three. There's really no way to over-estimate what he means to this team. With respects to Ed Reed and Sean Taylor, Sanders is the best safety in the game.

Fantasy impact: Don't look now, but LenDale White is becoming a legitimate NFL running back. He won't really break out until Chris Brown leaves after this year (or gets hurt), but the potential he showed at USC is starting to surface.

Arizona 23, Seattle 20: First, Arizona goes up 17-0. Then they allow Seattle to score 20 unanswered. Then Arizona ties it up. Then Seattle goes on what looked like a game-winning drive. Then Seattle fumbles the ball like a Pop Warner team trying to learn a quarterback-running back hand-off. Then Arizona wins.

Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the 2007 NFC West!

Snide remarks aside, this was huge for Arizona. Lose another huge lead on the heals of the Monday night meltdown against San Francisco and they potentially go into their annual "nothing ever goes right for us" tailspin. Sometimes it takes a win you don't deserve to turn the tide.

Fantasy impact: Edgerrin James had his best game as a Cardinal, with 128 yards on 24 carries (a 5.3 average) and a touchdown. And just as the offensive line took the blame for last year's struggles, they (and their new position coach, Russ Grimm) deserve the credit for this performance. James will be challenged to repeat those totals over the next two weeks (@Baltimore, Pittsburgh), but Arizona's second-half schedule lends itself to a potentially monster year (starting with Week 9: @TB, Det, @CIN, SF, CLE, @SEA, @NO, ATL, STL).

Detroit 20, Minnesota 17 (OT): We knew going into this season Tarvaris Jackson was going to cost his team some games, and this was one of them. Not only that, but the coaching staff failed to force the running game, calling only 26 rush plays for Adrian Peterson and Mewelde Moore vs. 37 pass attempts by Jackson and Brooks Bollinger. In a close game, those totals should be reversed.

Fantasy impact: Shaun McDonald remains the most undervalued fantasy receiver in the league, owned by less than 15 percent of ESPN leagues, despite back-to-back games with above-average production (team highs with 13 receptions and 161 yards). And lest you think this is an aberration, that McDonald is just warming up Calvin Johnson's spot, remember that McDonald is a Mike Martz guy. He knows this offense, and Martz trusts him to be in the right place at the right time. McDonald isn't going away, so you might as well pick him up now while you can.

Dallas 37, Miami 20: Trent Green threw 4 interceptions and the Dolphins running game combined for 61 yards on 21 carries. Miami has a veteran defense and guys like Jason Taylor and Vonnie Holliday have show a propensity for public sniping. If things don't get better in a hurry against the Jets this Sunday, things are going to get ugly.

Fantasy impact: If you're looking for a kicker, you could do a lot worse than Nick Folk, the rookie from the University of Arizona. He's made all four of his attempts this year, as well as 10 extra points. This offense isn't slowing down any time soon, so the opportunities should be plentiful.

Chicago 20, Kansas City 10: This score tells you all you need to know about the Bears under Rex Grossman. And it's actually worse than the score would indicate because seven of the Bears' points came off a Devin Hester punt return. I'm going to say it every single week until it happens: the Bears should start Brian Griese.

Fantasy impact: I understood the decision to go with Damon Huard to begin the season, but Brodie Croyle is the better quarterback. And once they make the switch, the Kansas City offense will get better in a hurry. Tony Gonzalez owners should keep that in mind and just bide their time. It's bad to have a draft pick not perform. It's worse to drop that draft pick, only to have him take off for another owner.

Denver 23, Oakland 20: We keep saying the Raiders' defense is good based off last year's results, but so far this year, they've given up 392 yards to the Lions and 441 to the Broncos. At what point do we start to consider last year an aberration and this year the real thing? How they perform this Sunday against Derek Anderson and the Browns will provide the answer.

Fantasy impact: I'm not sure what about Josh McCown's 73-yard passing performance in Denver impressed Raiders coach Lane Kiffin, but it was enough for the career backup to earn the start again this weekend. That drags everybody on that offense down except for LaMont Jordan, who is averaging nearly 160 all-purpose yards per game through the first two. It will be interesting to see what Kiffin does once Dominic Rhodes comes off the suspension list after Week 4.

Washington 20, Philadelphia 12: Cheer up, Philadelphia. The Phillies are only 2.5 out of the NL East and 1.5 out of the wildcard.

Fantasy impact: Jason Avant may not be the fastest or most hyped Eagles receiver, but he is the most dependable. Watch for him to continue to force his way on the field and become the first-down maker on 3rd-and-long.

Seth Doria is a freelance writer based out of St. Louis. For the only daily column that mixes sports, politics, and entertainment news in one, visit The Left Calf.

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 11:54 AM | Comments (0)

What About the Little Guy?

I have been trying to make sense of what has gone on in college football this year. It started with Michigan going down to Appalachian State in week one. South Florida defeating Auburn followed in week two. Then this past week, Kentucky beats Louisville, Utah manhandles UCLA, and Central Florida gives Texas a scare.

I can't remember a time when there have been so many preseason highly ranked teams go down so early in the season. I remember when these non-conference matchups used to be merely tune-ups for the real games. When conference foes met, both teams ranked, with conference championships and national championship hopes on the line. The fact is, at this point, there are only four schools left that have shown they deserve to be in the national championship hut.

And that's sad.

Our college football society has taken away the little guy and replaced it with overpowering BCS schools that have a golden ticket to the big game. If Michigan goes undefeated the rest of the way and a school that started the year unranked in a non-BCS conference goes undefeated, there is more of a chance of Michigan going to a BCS game than there is that non-BCS school.

It seems the influx of more and more bowl games aren't even for the non-BCS schools, but rather for more power conferences to get in to the postseason. This year, the Big 10 will have seven representatives in bowl games. How many times do we have 6-6 schools in the postseason, making a mockery of the bowl game? Meanwhile, 10-2 mid-conference schools are playing in the Goodyear Tire Bowl.

At the same time, USC starting quarterback John David Booty, who, in last week's Nebraska game, handed the ball off to victory is getting Heisman hype. Kirk Herbstreit said it best: we no longer give the Heisman to the most outstanding player in college football, but rather the most valuable player on the best team.

As much as I love college football, these things always rise to the top of the college landscape. That, and the lack of a playoff system to crown a true champion. That, however, has been written and talked about to death.

Maybe the real story is not the lack of dominance by the power conferences, but rather the continuing improvement of the mid-majors. Also, the pollsters really have no clue what they are doing.

In this era of YouTube, MySpace, and enhanced training in high school, many mid-majors are showing they can compete with the big boys on a regular basis. Do they get rewarded for their emergence on the national scene? No.

Last year, it was an undefeated Boise State knocking off Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl. Two years before that, Alex Smith was leading Utah to an unblemished record and a BCS victory. This year, many look at Hawaii and believe it's the Warriors turn to crash the BCS party.

The mockery of it all is that if Hawaii goes undefeated, or any mid-major team, for that matter, runs the table, it won't matter — they won't get a shot at the national championship.

That's where we stand, schools that are showing they can compete with the major conferences have been relegated to hoping they get to play in the Fiesta Bowl, never the national championship game. We have put so much emphasis on the BCS schools and their supposed dominance that when an unranked team beats a "powerhouse," it was the powerhouse that failed to deliver, never the unranked team's ability.

I have mentioned how poor I believe the Big 10's play has been and how I believe the Big 10 is an overrated conference. Maybe my thought process has been faulty. Maybe it's not the Big 10 to blame, but rather the other conferences are catching up.

The preseason poll is so messed up that pollsters have now been relegated to just taking people out of the top 25 if they lose in the first few weeks. Doesn't that tell you that maybe we should hold off on the polls until four or five weeks in, when you can have a measured understanding of each team and make a credible top 25?

This past week, The Citadel (who play in the same conference as Appalachian State) came close to toppling Wisconsin. Central Florida fell by only three points to Texas. Kentucky beats Louisville. Utah embarrasses UCLA. Troy beats Oklahoma State by 18.

Does anyone see a trend?

In 1984, BYU won a national championship from the WAC. Unless we open our eyes and start to treat everyone equally, that may be the last time a team from outside the BCS ever takes hope the top prize.

Forget strength of schedule, power conferences, and all that other nonsense. A team should be rewarded for going through the season unscathed, not teased with a BCS berth, but no real shot at the ultimate goal.

What kind of message are we sending when teams outside the BCS cannot even put a national championship as one of its team goals? What does it say that a team like Michigan, who, in the first two weeks of college football, embarrassed the program, but yet if the Wolverines go undefeated or lose one or two more games, they will have a better chance of securing a major bowl game than someone from the Mountain West Conference?

I truly believe college football is the best sport around. Every week counts, every game counts, but the way in which our football society works, that methodology only seems to make sense to the power conferences. Everyone else can look forward to the PapaJohns.com Bowl as their reward for a great season.

And that is unjust.

Posted by Wailele Sallas at 11:50 AM | Comments (0)

Hope Springs Eternal, But Should It?

Manager Lou Piniella says Cubs fans have every reason to hope. The Chicago Cubs are playing like their fans should have every reason to hope. The moribund NL Central is such that Cubs fans have every reason to hope.

But, really, is there any reason to hope if you're a Cubs fan? Is there any reason to think 2007 will be any different than, say, 2003? Is this the year? Is this next year?

Well, maybe, just maybe, it is.

Let's go back to last Wednesday, September 12, when the Northsiders' latest win streak began...

The Cubs have lost six of their last nine and are dangerously close to falling all the way back to an even .500 record, a mediocre mark they haven't seen since being 40-40 on July 1. Even worse, the Lovable Losers are just hours removed from arguably their most crushing loss of the season, an 11-inning 5-4 setback at the hands of the rival — and woeful — Houston Astros that leaves them at 73-71. With Milwaukee's 6-1 win over Pittsburgh, the Cubs are now looking up in the NL Central, one game behind the Brewers.

Queue the "here we go again" groans of Cubs fans everywhere.

Those groans grow even louder with a shockingly inauspicious start to the bottom half of the ninth inning in last Thursday's game in Houston. Chicago carries a 3-1 lead into the penultimate stage of the game and brings in closer Ryan Dempster to shut the door on the Astros. Dempster is apparently on his way to doing just that when he induces a ground ball to first base off the bat of the inning's leadoff hitter, Mark Loretta. It's rolling harmlessly along in the direction of first baseman Derrick Lee, who is prepared to field it cleanly and step on the bag for a routine first out.

Curses! The dreaded baseball somehow takes a crazy bounce off first base and ricochets into right field for a leadoff single that brings the tying run to the plate. Mike Lamb then triples, making the score 3-2 and putting the tying run just 90 feet away. Two batters up, two batters on, and the question has suddenly gone from "can the Cubs actually find a way to lose this game?" to "can they actually find a way not to lose this game?"

Somehow, the Cubbies find a way not to lose it. Dempster gets Luke Scott to ground out to Aramis Ramirez at third base, leaving Lamb still on third. Piniella then signals in the intentional walk, putting Houston's Orlando Palmeiro on first base in order to set up the double play. Surely, the move will backfire and Palmeiro will soon cross home plate for the winning run. Right?

Wrong. Eric Munson sends a ground ball to first base and, what do you know, it does not careen off first base and into right field. Instead, Lee fields it and fires to second base, then shortstop Ryan Theriot throws it back to Dempster covering first base to complete the game-ending, potentially season-changing double play.

Cubs win! Cubs win! And with Milwaukee's 7-4 loss to Pittsburgh, the Cubs are back in a tie for first place atop the NL Central.

"One of those fluke plays, I guess," said Rich Hill, who started the game for Chicago and pitched seven strong innings, of the freakish start to the last half inning. "The way we handled ourselves was huge. And the way we came out and played under that kind of environment, and the time we're in right now in this race, it was very big for this team."

"We needed it bad," added outfielder Cliff Floyd.

"This type of game really should get us on a roll," Piniella said. "You have to think that the worm has turned. You've got to start feeling like things are going to go your way."

Since then, they have. In fact, the Cubs have not gone a single day without winning a game since last Wednesday (they did lose the nightcap of a double-header against the Cardinals on Friday). As of Tuesday, the Northsiders have won six of their last seven games to stay one game ahead of the Brewers in the NL Central and get within striking distance (four games) of the wildcard-leading Padres in case Chicago fails to win the division.

If last Wednesday's win kept the Cubs afloat, Monday's 7-6 come-from-behind win over Cincinnati has them soaring higher than ever this season. Trailing 6-4 heading into the bottom of the ninth, the Cubs erupted for three runs off Reds' closer David Weathers before getting out just once. Ramirez tied the game with a two-run triple and after an intentional walk to pinch-hitter Darryl Ward, second baseman Mark DeRosa, who finished the game 5-for-5 with a homer, finished the rally with a walk-off infield single up the middle. The Wrigley Field faithful — and surely the entire Cub nation — were sent into an all-out frenzy, and now playoff talk is buzzing loudly in Chicago.

The Cubs, themselves, are not the only reason why there's hope for them to finish off this somewhat improbable season in style. The general malaise of the National League is no secret, and the Central Division is especially bad. Now that the defending World Series champion Cardinals have reverted back to their early-season selves, it's all down to the Cubs and Brewers. With Chicago two wins ahead and even in the loss column, the Brewers will have to erase the deficit in the next two weeks. Obviously, that's doable in one day, much less two weeks, but the schedule is not in the Brew Crew's favor.

That's not to say Milwaukee's remaining slate of games is terribly challenging. The Brewers finish at Houston, at Atlanta, home against the Cardinals, and home against San Diego. The Astros are terrible and the Cardinals will have thrown in the towel by then, but four games each with the Braves and Padres could be tough.

"Tough" is not what comes to mind when perusing the Cubbies' finishing schedule. They host the Reds and Pirates and then travel to Florida and Cincinnati, where they get to meet the Reds once again. You probably don't need me to tell you that all three of those teams have losing records. In fact, the Reds are the best of the bunch and they currently sit 14 games under .500!

It would be premature to start talking playoffs, but it is necessary nonetheless. As long as the Cubs manage to qualify for the playoffs, once they're in they will have a very legitimate chance to go all the way to the World Series. And that, ultimately, is what Cubs fans want--and even need. After all, they were just six outs away from the Fall Classic in 2003 when Bartman struck, and while a Central Division title and playoff berth would be all well and good, all the North Side wants is to get those last six outs they could not get four years ago.

This could be the year to do it. Sure the National League boasts a few good teams (primarily the Mets and Diamondbacks), but the difference between the AL and NL is just about the same as the difference between Tiger Woods and the rest of the PGA Tour right now.

As good as it looks for the Cubs at the moment, can it possibly last? Maybe a Billy Goat will never be able to break the Billy Goat Curse. Maybe the next Steve Bartman is ready to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Maybe curses are real.

But even if a Billy Goat never returns, and even if there is another Steve Bartman out there, and even if curses are real, what do Cubs fans have if they don't have hope? In a word, nothing.

Maybe they're just setting themselves up for another gut-wrenching, heart-stopping, tear-dropping conclusion to the end of the season, but for any number of reasons, Cubs fans have no choice but to live it, eat it, breathe it, sleep it. It is the motto...

Hope springs eternal.

Posted by Ricky Dimon at 11:49 AM | Comments (0)

September 17, 2007

Gotta Love the NFL

To sum up the first two weeks of the NFL season, I turn to the famous words of Vince Lombardi: "what the hell's going on out there?"

Here is a summary of the craziness from the first two weeks:

• The Texans, Packers, and Lions are all 2-0. You could have won a boat load of money in Vegas with those predictions.
• The Saints, Giants, and Rams are all 0-2. See the above comment.
• The Bengals/Browns game had a combined 96 points and 1,085 yards of offense.
• The Falcons and Chiefs have combined for 23 points and 1,013 yards of offense in their four games so far.
• The 49ers have 380 yards of total offense so far, but are 2-0.
• The Patriots have won both of their games by 38-14 scores and already have a two-game lead in the AFC East. Carry that scoring average out for the whole season and they would score 608 points and allow 224. Given the how easy it has looked for them the first two weeks, that actually seems possible.
• LaDanian Tomlinson, coming off of 31 touchdowns in 2006, has just one in two games and only 68 yards on 35 carries (1.9 ypc).
• Steven Jackson, the other top RB who didn't have a single carry in preseason, has 118 yards on 39 carries (3.0 ypc). Maybe those games do mean something.
• The top three in receiving yards (C. Johnson-304, R. Moss-288, and S. Smith-271) all have more yards than the top rusher (T. Henry-267). The league is becoming more and more reliant on the passing game as defenses get better at stopping the run every year.
• There are eight teams allowing 80 rushing yards per game or less, with four teams holding opponents to less than three yards per carry.
• The Broncos' defense is allowing 85 ypg passing and their opposing QBs have a rating of 39.2. I guess trading for Dre Bly was a pretty smart move.
• Seven of the top 16 scorers through week two are WRs, only two are RBs.
• Jamal Lewis has the only rushing play over 50 yards (66 yard TD yesterday). He became the first Browns RB to rush for 200 yards in a game in 32 years. Oh yeah, he has more yards (251) than Willis McGahee (174) on seven fewer carries. So much for him being washed up.
• Ten WRs already have receptions of over 50 yards, none of which include deep threat Lee Evans (4 catches for 22 yards total), who had 19 catches of 40+ yards the past three seasons.
• Nine teams are giving up an average of 14 points per game or less.
• Four teams are giving up an average of 35 points per game or more.
• In 21 career games, Devin Hester has one fewer return touchdown (8) than he has tackles (9).
• Fifteen out of 16 catches for Chad Johnson have gone for first downs. He also survived a leap into the Dawg Pound in Cleveland yesterday. I am not sure which of those is more impressive.

So what does this all mean? Not too much, they are just some interesting stats and trends to consider early on. More than likely, the Saints will get on track and be a playoff contender by the end of the season, and by no means are the Texans, Packers, and Lions locks to be in the playoffs.

It just goes to show that the mantra "on any given Sunday" truly applies to the NFL. Teams can change their fortune in the span of one offseason with the right roster changes or coaching hires. Similarly, the wrong decisions can take a promising team and have them heading south in a hurry. Look no further than the Falcons for evidence of that.

Posted by Jeff Levers at 11:32 AM | Comments (0)

Baseball Heals All

"Baseball is a lot like life. It's a day-to-day existence, full of ups and downs. You make the most of your opportunities in baseball as you do in life." — Ernie Harwell

Last week, we were reminded of an incident that changed the way America thinks. One can remember right after 9/11 the state that America was in. The unforeseen images of "Ground Zero" made the nation wonder if it would ever bounce back from this mentally and physically challenging time.

America did, thanks to baseball.

The New York Yankees and New York Mets took the lead in helping the city heal and helping the city pick up the pieces to a future of uncertainty. The Mets helped heal the mind and soul by doing small things in big ways. Just to say "thanks," they wore the hats of each respected agency that helped during 9/11: PAPD, NYPD, FDNY, etc. And to the rescue personnel, that is what mattered most — a simple "thank you" in a small way brings healing to the mind.

Also, the images of former Mets manager Bobby Valentine and other members of the 2001 Mets helping load supplies on trucks headed for "Ground Zero" didn't go unnoticed. The extending of the hand to help by the baseball community solidified that baseball helps lift a nation to new spirits in a time of need.

For the Yankees, the 2001 World Series was most memorable. Seven weeks after the terrorist attacks, baseball was played. It lifted the minds. It lifted the spirits. It lifted the fatigued. It lifted life. Former Mets catcher Mike Piazza energized a sell-out crowd with his towering home run against the Braves that made fans at Shea Stadium forget about what happened and live the life of America's Pastime. For Piazza, it was a day at the park, but for fans, it was the first game since the attacks took place. It was a relief for many to smile and cheer once again.

The late Jackie Robinson knows a thing or two about overcoming pain and suffering. His impact on the game and life cannot go unnoticed, and he made it known by saying, "a life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives."

Bob Feller also said it best on the correlation of life and baseball: "every day is a new opportunity. You can build on yesterday's success or put its failures behind and start over again. That's the way life is, with a new game every day, and that's the way baseball is."

But it's also the umpire yelling "play ball" and the crisp sound of the crack of the bat that enabled America to heal. Baseball is a game, but it does shape America and is an important part of our heritage. At Yankee Stadium, the loudness of "God Bless America" cannot go unheard. It signifies that baseball remembers the lives lost and sacrificed during 9/11, Afghanistan, Iraq, and Hurricane Katrina. It's the little emblem, though, that's worn on the hats of all the ballplayers during America's remembrance of independence. It's the American flag that signifies our nation as one. Baseball also helped during Hurricane Katrina by having all the teams wear the American Red Cross emblem on their helmets to show New Orleans that baseball cares and wants to see the city be rebuilt bigger and better than ever.

"I see great things in baseball. It's our game — the American game. It will take our people out-of-doors, fill them with oxygen, and give them a larger physical stoicism. Tend to relieve us from being a nervous, dyspeptic set. Repair these losses, and be a blessing to us," Walt Whitman was quoted as saying about America's Pastime.

This is why baseball is such an important factor in everyday life. When a nation or individual is down, it's the game that lifts the spirits and heals the mind. It's the game that helped create and establish America. From little league fields to major league ballparks, baseball is the National Pastime. Americans embrace baseball because it symbolizes peace and tranquility. Before each game, it's the fresh-cut grass, the laying of the lines, and the throwing of the first pitch that makes baseball the game it is.

That's why it's America's Pastime.

Posted by Joe Boesch at 11:05 AM | Comments (0)

September 15, 2007

Ice to See You Again, Ovechkin

My heart sank as a hockey fan: I arrived for media day at the Washington Capitals' training camp and was faced with another NHL lockout.

This time, it wasn't Gary Bettman and the owners sacrificing a season of hockey and the fans' goodwill for the sake of some heavier piggy banks; rather, the doors to the Capitals' offices were locked, with no one around to open them up.

I was soon joined on the sidewalk of the Kettler Capitals Iceplex in Arlington, VA by someone just as eager to find a way inside the building: a 6-foot-2 Russian kid who has managed to score 198 points in his first 163 National Hockey League games.

"Locked?" asked a perplexed Alexander Ovechkin, as he pushed on the non-revolving revolving door.

A couple of his Capitals teammates walked up from the parking lot and greeted him, exchanging "how's-yer-summer?" queries and mercilessly ribbing Ovechkin about his rock-star length hair. (The Canadian accent does a wonderful thing for the word "barber.")

I began walking down to an alternative entrance as Ovechkin tried to push through the doors again. I was confident he'd find a way in: with the right motivation, I'm pretty sure this kid can do anything he damn well wants to do.

If motivation is a problem for Ovechkin this season, he may want to consider a career change. More than anyone else in the organization — from Ted Leonsis to Coach Glen Hanlon to the zamboni driver — Ovechkin has anticipated this season as the one in which the rebuilding is complete, the expectations are raised and an appearance in the Stanley Cup Playoffs are expected rather than contemplated.

"Our ownership spent some money to get good players, and our young guys have experience," Ovechkin said later during the media scrum on the first official day of camp.

What makes this offseason a good one for General Manager George McPhee and the Capitals is that they didn't just spend money — they spent smart money.

Besides juicing a moribund shootout squad for the Capitals with his uncanny ability in the overtime sideshow, forward Viktor Kozlov gives a Russian veteran in the locker room for Alex Ovechkin and Alex Semin to interact with. "He's a very smart player, tough. He loves hockey. He's sick about hockey," said Ovechkin.

Besides being a top-line forward coming off successful seasons with the New York Rangers, Michael Nylander is a Swedish center on a team whose next young star player just happens to be a Swedish center.

That player is Nicklas Backstrom: a soft-spoken rookie who could fit in a number of places in this line-up. As of the first day of camp, however, he didn't fit the fashion trends of the Capitals locker room. Everyone else looked like they had either just stepped out of an H&M or American Eagle catalogue, sporting European menswear or jeans, a ball cap and an ironic t-shirt.

Backstrom strolled into camp wearing shorts.

Freshmen...

There is a first-day-of-school vibe that's unmistakable about media day, and not just because the NHL season nearly mirrors that of a high-school year. Students greet each other after long summers, sometimes spent traveling the world. They see their favorite teachers again and other faculty. They spend most of the day filling out forms, taking physicals, and getting their equipment in order. The veterans immediately start to evaluate the underclassmen to see who belongs in their clique. (For the Capitals, one of those veterans is a 37-year-old goalie. In hockey, he's the most senior of seniors; in high school, he probably would have been fingered for a NARC by now.)

Most of all, there's the class clown.

Ovechkin's turn in the media scrum provided his trademarked mix of broken (though much improved) English and out-of-nowhere punch lines. Like, for example, when one reporter noted that some Capitals had been giving Ovechkin grief about his hair.

"It's my style," he said, waiting a few beats before grinning. "Gangster style."

Later, as I walked out of the practice facility, Ovechkin and a Capitals media relations assistant were walking back in. The star winger spotted an "Ovechkin 8" t-shirt in the window of the gift shop and pointed his stick at it.

"Wait," Ovechkin deadpanned to whatever audience he was speaking to, "who's that guy?"

Millions of hockey fans already know his name.

It's time Lord Stanley started getting a little more familiar with him, as well...

Greg Wyshynski is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 10:56 AM | Comments (0)

September 13, 2007

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 2

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Atlanta @ Jacksonville (-10 ½)

Wow! Did it look like the Vikings had Joey Harrington well-scouted? Harrington served up a generous helping of interceptions returnable for touchdowns against the Vikings in the Falcons' 24-3 loss.

"Man, it was almost like I'd played for six seasons for a team in their division," says a flustered Harrington. "They even knew my snap cadence, and I don't even know what a snap cadence is. I've really got to be more proficient at recognizing blitzes. I just wish someone would have told me earlier that 'hot reads' aren't romance novels."

The Jags gave up 282 yards on the ground to the Titans and lost, 13-10. It was not the start to the season Jack Del Rio had hoped for.

"I got all dressed up for this?" says Del Rio. "Aren't we the team that's supposed to rush for over 270 yards against a team that eventually wins the Super Bowl? If history is any indication, we're looking good to win the Super Bowl. I didn't realize what Byron Leftwich meant to our defense. Otherwise, he'd still be here, in my doghouse. But, since he's not, wouldn't it make sense for the Falcons to pick him up? He's familiar with our defense."

Is there any way the Jaguars lose this? Going 0-2 at home to start their season would be disastrous towards their playoff hopes, and equally disastrous to their hopes of going 6-10. Look on the bright side, Jack. Lose this one, and you'll already be well-dressed for a new job interview. The Jaguar defense stacks up to stop the run, forcing Harrington to make the tough throws he's demonstrated he can't make for the last seven years. Jags win, 23-9.

Buffalo @ Pittsburgh (-9)

The Mike Tomlin era began with a flourish, as the Steelers whipped division foe Cleveland 34-7 for the first of two automatic wins this year. The Steelers performed just as Tomlin had hoped, with dominating defense and efficiency and explosiveness in the running and passing games.

"Just like Bill Cowher would have liked it," says Tomlin. "Just with a little more soul. Darker skin and half the chin. This is pretty much the same team that won the Super Bowl two years ago. We still have the horses, and Joey Porter's pit bulls aren't around to attack them. With the Bengals and Ravens beating up on each other, we should win the AFC North easily."

Maybe so, Mike, but in a physical division like the North, division hopes can go out the window, or off the windshield, in a matter of moments. The Steelers force two J.P. Losman turnovers, one caused by a blitz from the "Samoan Highlight Film" Troy Polamalu. Pittsburgh wins, 20-9. Tomlin goes to 2-0 as head coach, and Steely McBeam improves to 2-0 as Steelers' mascot.

Cincinnati @ Cleveland (+6)

Does Romeo Crenel think that playing Brady Quinn so early in the season is an admission that the season is lost? Quinn got no action last Sunday in the Browns' 34-7 loss to Pittsburgh, even though starter Charlie Frye and backup Derek Anderson were a combined 17-of-38 for 218 yards and 2 interceptions.

"It seems that playing Frye and Anderson is an admission that the season is lost," says Quinn. "I'm ready. I played for Charlie Weiss at Notre Dame. I know what Coach Crenel wants. Obviously, I can't escape the gravitational pull of former New England coordinators. I hate to quote Keyshawn Johnson, but 'Give me the damn ball.'"

Well, Brady, you just passed Frye on the depth chart, but only because he was traded to Seattle. Now you sit on the depth chart between Anderson and Ken Dorsey, who just showed up on Cleveland's doorstep, wrapped in swaddling clothing.

"Touchdown, Jesus Christ!" exclaims Quinn.

The Bengals can take comfort in a game against possibly the league's worst team, and they can take comfort in the plight of Browns cornerback Leigh Bodden, who was arrested for disorderly conduct and resisting arrest after he drove in reverse down a one-way street and became verbally abusive at the Cleveland airport.

"Yeah, we call that 'going to the airport' around here," says Bengals linebacker Ahmad Brooks. "Our legal troubles are in the past. But they have made us stronger and wiser. You know, I'm inspired by Chad Johnson's touchdown celebration last Monday in which he donned a jacket with 'Future H.O.F. 20??' on the back. The next time I make a big play, I'll have an orange jumpsuit with 'Future D.O.C. 20??' on the back. Hall of fame, department of corrections — you got to leave your mark where you know best."

The Bengals hope to avoid a letdown after Monday night's huge win, and the Dawg Pound in Cleveland will be rowdy. Crenel naively responds to the home crowd's second quarter chants of "Quinn! Quinn!" by requesting "Bohemian Rhapsody" be played over the public address system. Chad Johnson has his way, catching 8 passes for 120 yards and a score, which he celebrates by unveiling a bust in his likeness attached to a blocking dummy with "Canton" printed on the padding. Cincinnati wins, 30-17.

Green Bay @ NY Giants (-2)

Brett Favre passed John Elway with his 148th win as a starting quarterback as the Packers beat the Eagles 16-13 at Lambeau Field. Favre gracefully thanked his teammates, clearly the most talented collection of players he's ever been associated with, and also thanked the Eagles' punt return team.

"J.R. Reid and Greg Lewis think they had trouble fielding punts last Sunday," says Favre. "Wait until Philly mob hoods Vinny and Joey take a pool cue to their wrists. I think they call it a 'fair catch.' I know from experience, it hurts. But that didn't stop me from playing, and it was my throwing arm."

On Monday, ESPN's Chris Montenson reported that Eli Manning would be out for a month due to a shoulder injury suffered against the Cowboys. The Giants fired back, saying there was no truth to that report, which usually is a clear indication that the report is, in fact, true. Later in the week, it was announced that Mannning was day-to-day.

"Chris Mortenson is a liar," says NBC studio analyst Tiki Barber. "Read all about it in my new book. Also, Manning is not who you think he is. I know for a fact that his credit rating is below 400."

Manning is not the only injury casualty for the Giants that impacts this game. Running back Brandon Jacobs and defensive end Osi Umenyiora are both out. With Manning playing hurt and with a backup running back, the Packers defense will key on stopping Plaxico Burress. Charles Woodson shuts down Burress, and Favre and the Pack grind out a tough 20-17 win.

Houston @ Carolina (-6 ½)

It looks like the Super Bowl-capable Panthers showed up last Sunday, controlling what was supposed to be an explosive Rams offense in a 27-13 win. Which begs the question: who were those impostors? The Rams or the Panthers?

"The only imposter I'm aware of is the cheap cologne I'm wearing," says gum-smacking Panther head coach John Fox. "You know, designer impostors. I'm wearing something called 'Polio' by some cat named Wal-Mart Brand. As far as my team's play, I can't complain. I am, however, extremely disappointed that two of our cheerleaders didn't engage in a position called the 'St. Louis Arch' in a bathroom stall at some point last weekend."

The Texans finally got the big game from defensive end Mario Williams, drafted ahead of Reggie Bush in 2006, as Williams recorded two sacks and returned a fumble for a touchdown in their 20-3 win over the Chiefs.

"Take that, Reggie Bush," says Williams. "I've got six points, you've got zero. I play defense, and I showed more offense than you did against the Colts. Sure, nobody recognizes me unless I'm in full uniform, provided my name is on my jersey and a stadium announcer introduces me, but that doesn't matter. It may have taken me 16 months, but I've finally validated the Texans' No. 1 pick."

The Panthers' level of play undulates more than the Atlantic Ocean, but their manhandling of the Rams in St. Louis was impressive. More impressive than the Texans handling of a less-than-mediocre Chiefs team. Julius Peppers shows Williams how a real defensive star dominates a game, with two sacks, several knockdowns, and a fourth quarter TKO. Delhomme is solid for the second straight week, and the Panthers win, 24-10.

Indianapolis @ Tennessee (+7)

The Titans piled up an amazing 282 yards rushing against a Jaguars defense that was geared to stop the run in a mildly surprising 13-10 win. What's even more surprising, the Titans rushed for 282 yards, and only scored 13 points! That won't cut it against the Colts, who are likely to break 13 at some point early in the second quarter.

"Look, the only way to slow the Indy offense is to keep the ball away from them," says Jeff Fisher, who, as usual, is offering free mustache rides, but, as of yet, has no takers. "Now, if we could get the officials involved in this 'keep away' scheme, then we might be successful. Otherwise, we'll just have to hope that Vince again has some superhuman power up his sleeve, in his magician's hat, or in his UnderArmor du-rag, to pull out an unlikely win."

That won't happen. The Colts shut down New Orleans high-powered offense, and have had 10 days to rest and bask in the glory of a 1-0 record, which still leaves plenty of time (a day and a half, maybe) to understand the Tennessee offensive tendency, which is to run the heck out of the ball. The Titans will try to establish the run, and will see moderate success, but so what if they get a couple of touchdowns. The Indy offense will get at least four.

"There's only one thing that can stop us," says Manning. "If I can't shake these disturbing images involving my mother Olivia, the family dog, and Matt Leinart, by game time, the Titans have a chance."

Manning clears his head, and throws for 260 yards and 2 touchdowns. Indy wins, 26-17.

New Orleans @ Tampa Bay (+3)

Unlike Don Imus, the Buccaneers are offensively-challenged. They managed only two field goals in last Sunday's 20-6 loss to the Seahawks.

"Hey, don't mention us with the name of that leathery-faced, two-bit radio hack," says Tampa's John Gruden, peering from underneath his Bucs' visor. "Although I am interested to see how his new show on ESPN, PTI-mus, in which the gravelly-voiced codger will offer racially-insensitive remarks based on the day's sports news in minute-long segments, will fare. I say it will be a hit, although I have a feeling the nappy-headed ho demographic ratings won't be high."

The Saints will try to cross the goal line as an offense for the first time this Sunday. Their offense was held without an offensive touchdown against the Colts, and Reggie Bush and Deuce McAllister were held to under 100 yards combined on the ground.

"Reggie's got to be more decisive on his runs," says Saints coach Sean Payton. "I want to seem him give the same attention to hitting a hole at full speed that he spends making sure his pencil-thin beard conforms to the exact outline of his jaw-line. That is meticulous. I want his preparation to be the same."

It's never fun breaking out of an offensive slump in Tampa against what is usually a solid defense. But the Saints will find holes in the aging Bucs defense. Bush will find the end zone somehow, and the Saints defense will handle a banged-up Tampa offense. New Orleans wins, 24-14.

San Francisco @ St. Louis (-3)

Did I hear Shannon Sharpe of CBS pick the Rams to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl? And did I hear Dan Marino, Phil Simms, and Greg Gumbel chuckling at Sharpe's assertion?

"Oh no," says San Francisco's Mike Nolan. "That was all out laughter. I think I even saw milk coming out of someone's nose. And Bill Cowher completely sprayed the main camera. But Sharpe's paid to do as an analyst exactly what he was paid to do as a player — make the controversial statements. Sure, he had to make the occasional catch, but talking was always what Shannon did best. Heck, who knows? He may be right. It's only Week 2. Everything's up in the air about the NFC West. Which will probably be the case in the fourth quarter of Week 17."

The Rams face what is pretty close to a must-win situation after last Sunday's 27-13 loss to the Panthers. A loss to the 49ers and the Rams go 0-2 at home. Keys to victory will be the performance of an offensive line minus Orlando Pace, and Steven Jackson's ability to hang on to the ball.

"I've seen Lobster Boy with a better hold on the ball than that," says Scott Linehan, "and he technically doesn't have hands. Those claws do come in handy when bitch-slappin' time rolls around, though."

Sharpe makes an inspirational plea to the Rams: win or I'll look dumber than I already do. The Rams, out of respect for Shannon's brother Sterling, put forth their best effort of the year. Jackson takes a screen pass for a score, but fumbles the spike attempt. St. Louis wins, 27-21.

Dallas @ Miami (+3)

It wasn't a particularly good opening day for the 2007 Miami Dolphins, who lost to Washington 16-13 in overtime, but for the grumpy old men that comprise the surviving members of the undefeated 1972 Dolphins, opening day is always great. On opening day, half of the league's 32 teams are eliminated from an undefeated season, thereby ending their quests to match the '72 Dolphins undefeated season.

"I didn't think it was possible to be bitter about an undefeated season," says Miami quarterback Trent Green, who vaguely remembers the Dolphins 14-7 win in Super Bowl VI, and faintly recalls yesterday. "What's my name again? Hey, at least we've got the pressure of an undefeated season off of us now. I feel better."

Dallas exploded for 45 points in a 45-35 win over the Giants last Sunday night. Tony Romo tossed four touchdown passes and ran for another score in Wade Phillips' successful debut as coach.

"If we would have score 45 with Bill Parcells as our coach," says Romo, "he would have congratulated us on a fine three-game output. I like the offense Wade has installed. We're going for touchdowns instead of settling for field goals. And you know what can happen when we settle for field goals. Holds get botched, kicks are missed, kickers are fired, and the next thing you know, Jose Cortez is on the team."

The Cowboys certainly won't score 45 on the Dolphins, and the 'Fins certainly won't drop 35 on the 'Boys. I don't think. Wasn't defense supposed to be Dallas' calling card this year? I guess not. It's all about the offense. Romo flips two scores, one to Terrell Owens, whose got an "A" for conduct so far this year. The Dallas defense makes a stand, forcing a Miami punt. Dallas wins, 23-13. Former Cowboy Nate Newton is arrested at Pro Player Stadium will call when he goes looking for a package postmarked "Bogota, Colombia."

Minnesota @ Detroit (-3)

The Lions gave the state of Michigan its first win of the year with a 36-21 win over the Oakland Raiders in the Black Hole. This was supposed to be a Raider team with a strong defense, but they surrendered 392 total yards to the Lions.

"'Black Hole' is right," says Jon Kitna. "They wear black, and there were plenty of holes. I'm of good mind to raise my prediction of wins this year from 10 to 16. Between myself, Mike Furrey, and Roy Williams, we've made more guarantees than we had wins last year."

That's great, Kitna. You've came through on 1/10th of a guarantee. I'm not impressed, and neither is Joe Namath. Hey, you should have trotted proudly off that field with your index finger held high, signifying your one win.

Kitna and the Lions will face the Vikings, whose defense scored more than their offense in a 24-3 win over Atlanta. Defensive end Kevin Williams and cornerback Antoine Winfield each returned interceptions for touchdowns.

"We know we'll get our chances against Detroit's pass-happy offense," says Winfield. "Kitna's no Joey Harrington, but he's still in a Lions uniform."

Lions win, 24-20.

Seattle @ Arizona (+3)

What does Matt Leinart have that Matt Hasselbeck doesn't? Well, on the plus side, Leinart's five o'clock shadow sports more hair than Hasselbeck's head. On the negative side, Leinart has a perverted habit of overly massaging the laces on the football, the result of either some bad advice from Archie Manning, or a habit began in his formative years of unlacing the corsets of many a young lady.

"I like my footballs like I like my women," says Leinart. "In leather. I'm the only quarterback in the league who's little black book has more pages than the playbook. I get more multiple looks from women than I do defenses. I've seen more doubleteams off the field than on."

Until someone knocks them down, the Seahawks are still kings of the NFC West. Hasselbeck may suffer from male pattern baldness, but that's not his fault. It's his mother's father's fault, that bald-headed geek. Hasselbeck produces an efficient 18-for-23, 220-yard day, and Shaun Alexander rushes for a short score. Seahawks win, 24-16.

Kansas City @ Chicago (-12)

A week after holding LaDainian Tomlinson to 25 yards on 17 carries, the Bears will get a shot at another AFC West superstar in Larry Johnson. L.T. still managed two touchdowns against the Bears, one on the ground and one through the air, but that was enough for the Chargers as the Bear offense got nowhere.

"We know the Chiefs' plan on feeding us a steady diet of L.J.," says Lovie Smith. "Let me clarify before the league suspends us for an illegal substance: 'L.J.' is Larry Johnson. We know Herman Edwards will have the Chiefs prepared to play their very best. He's got this unique and revolutionary strategy called 'playing to win the game.' That philosophy is always tough to beat."

Actually, the Chiefs best hope to win, or at least stay in the game, is to pound Johnson in the middle of a Bears defense depleted by the losses of lineman Dusty Dvoracek and safety Mike Brown. And they'll need at least a three-turnover Rex Grossman game. Sorry, Chiefs. The Bears are pissed, coming off a loss, and at home. Three strikes, you're out. Chicago wins, 26-10.

NY Jets @ Baltimore (-7 1/2)

It took less than a game, but those loyal New York fans turned on Jets quarterback Chad Pennington, and cheered when he injured his ankle in the Jets 38-14 loss to the Patriots.

"I've got a hand signal I'd like videotaped and played for those fans," says Pennington. "Get me the Patriots audio-visual team on the double. And see if we can get Timbaland to produce."

The Ravens suffered a 27-20 loss to Cincinnati when a potential tying touchdown pass was negated because of offensive interference on Todd Heap.

"Sounds like somebody was trying to throw the game," says Heap. "No, I'm not talking about that referee. I'm talking about the guys responsible for our 6 turnovers."

If you're looking for drama, look elsewhere. This game will pack all the drama of a Kid Rock/Tommy Lee fight, or a Kanye West/50 Cent album-selling contest, and all the subtlety of a Pam Anderson sex tape. And speaking of the Pam Anderson sex tape, can someone send the Patriots a copy of one? Reviewing footage of Jets coaches flashing hand signals can't be as exciting.

With or without Ray Lewis, the Ravens defense will come out smoking. You've got to hand it to a defense that gives up only 27 points to an offense like Cincinnati's, despite 6 turnovers and an injured Lewis. With Steve McNair and Jonathan Ogden hurting, the Ravens will look for their defense to set the tone. With an injured Chad Pennington or backup Kellen Clemens at quarterback, the Ravens smell blood. Baltimore wins, 22-7.

Oakland @ Denver (-9 1/2)

No. 1 pick Jamarcus Russell finally signed, agreeing to a six-year, $37 million contract that makes him the second highest-paid person who doesn't understand the Raider playbook behind Al Davis. Russell celebrated by partying until the wee hours with the surprisingly lively Raiders owner in Davis' catacomb.

"What a night!" says Russell. "I'm $37 million richer, but I seem to be coming up about two pints short on blood."

Somehow, the Broncos squeezed only 15 points out of 470 yards of total offense in a narrow 15-14 win over the Bills. Jason Elam kicked the game-winning 42-yard field goal as time expired.

"I can't explain it either," says Mike Shanahan. "But rest assured. Roc Hoover is on it."

Well, it may have something to do with Elam missing two field goals, and tough red zone defense from the Bills. Or maybe it's because the Broncos are one of those teams that you feel, on a given night, could beat any team in the NFL. That given night just isn't Super Bowl Sunday. Broncos win, 23-16.

San Diego @ New England (-3)

Randy Moss exploded for 9 catches for 183 yards and a 51-yard touchdown in a 38-14 win over the Jets, serving notice that he's back in form. But for how long? ESPN Radio's Colin Cowherd stipulated that a fast start by Moss will almost certainly result in a slow finish.

"Look, I've learned not to listen to anything people say about me," says Moss. "That includes coaches, particularly Raider coaches, advisors, parents, step parents, members of the clergy, and especially ESPN announcers that sound like Special Ed from Crank Yankers."

The Pats will host the Chargers, who beat the Bears 14-3 after trailing 3-0 at the half. Ask any player and they'll tell you they weren't worried at all about a half-time deficit. Ask Norv Turner and he'll tell you different.

"General manger A.J. Smith briefly considered firing me at the half," says Turner.

It's nothing for Tom Brady to hop on a plane to Paris with his supermodel girlfriend and dine in the finest restaurants and maybe jet over to the French Riviera for a little nude sunbathing. It's nothing for Phillip Rivers to take a cab with his high school sweetheart for a sundae at McDonalds, and then a little fun at the water park. Therein lies the difference in the two quarterbacks. Brady is used to the finer things, like a receiver named Moss. Moss makes a big catch on the Pats drive for the winning field goal. New England, 24-23.

Prior to the game, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell sends Belichick a "Patriot Missive" — "two thumbs down." Unfazed, Belichick basks in the glory of a huge conference win seated in his director's chair on the sideline.

Washington @ Philadelphia (-7)

The Eagles basically tossed the game away in Green Bay, as two flubbed punts led to 10 Packer points, three of those from the winning kick in a 16-13 loss.

"Rookie mistakes are always damaging," says Andy Reid, "and that damage is compounded when they are made by veterans. That's why we've canned J.R. Reed, who blew that first punt, and replaced him with Reno Mahe. Yeah, that's right. The Reno Mahe."

"The Reno Mahe?" says Joe Gibbs. "Well, I guess our work is cut out for us."

With their game-planning geared towards stopping Mahe, the 'Skins can't forget about Donovan McNabb, who is still working his way into form. Expect the Redskins to bring a lot of pressure, forcing McNabb to vacate the pocket, and possibly the contents of his stomach. And if he blows his knee out, so be it. Philly wins, 20-17. McNabb celebrates with a Philly cheesesteak, fava beans, and a nice chianti.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:59 AM | Comments (0)

Slant Pattern Quick Hitches

Welcome to the latest in gimmicks/running items that I won't stick with. Actually, this one has a better chance of making it than most, because it's just like the old Slant Pattern Blackjack, where I cover a range of scattershot topics rather than focusing on just one. The problem with Blackjack, however, was I had to stick with 21 topics. That's a lot. I think I'd like to write more and cover less.

"Quick Hitches" was about my fourth choice of title for this gimmick. I considered "Quick Hits," "Quick Outs," and "Quick Reads," but all three of them are already taken by mainstream media outlets for similarly themed blogs and columns. FOXSports.com owns the latter two. Apparently, their strategy to bring in readers is to copyright all cute column names.

Then I considered "Kwick Hits." That's taken, too, sort of. It's used by a regular Joe Shmoe blogger who calls himself the Krusty Konservative. I was going to use it anyway when I realized he deserves no respect because he substitutes a "k" for a hard "c" in all of his writings, even when he is quoting (kwoting?) somebody. Ultimately, I remembered that intentional misspellings are stupid and never funny, so "Quick Hitches" it is.

Last year, I chronicled what a rough year it was for the teams I root for, mostly because they were mostly very good, but none could quite grab the brass ring. One of those teams is Ohio State.

But man, when you're a fierce partisan in the biggest sports rivalry in the United States, and your rival lays an egg of unprecedented proportions, that's incredibly tasty. I'd rather Ohio State win than Michigan lose, but a loss like Appalachian State ranks higher than most OSU victories I could imagine.

There's more Schadenfreude in my body than blood right now. I lustily consume the Michigan blogs and message boards to watch them stagger around in a stunned daze. Even if Appalachian State is better than many Division I-A programs (and of course they are), when you compare the resources and history of the programs, then this is absolutely the biggest upset in college football history. It's going to be decades before Michigan completely lives this down, and that's even if they win a national title every other year. That's the thing about taking clear, unambiguous, unprecedented loss. I'm sure you've heard a top-25 team has never lost to a I-AA school, let alone a top-five school like Michigan.

The capper: I'm not above patting myself in the back. While I didn't quite "call it," I had my doubts about this game and I wrote as much in my last column:

"On the other side of the 1-AA spectrum is Appalachian State, they are 1-AA National Champions two years running and widely expected to three-peat. Michigan only managed to squeak by a mediocre Ball State squad (that probably wasn't as good as App State) 31-26 last year. If you want an absolute shocker in Week 1, this is your best chance."

This week's upset pick is not nearly as earth-shattering, but I think my Buckeyes are going down in Seattle on Saturday. For the life of me, I can't understand why Tyrone Willingham was (at least going into this season) considered by so many to be on the hot seat. He inherited a 1-10 team that was winless in the Pac-10, got them up to two wins in his first season, and in his second season (last year), the Huskies mustered five wins — and they were one stupid, now-retired rule from potentially beating USC in Los Angeles. Those aren't big enough strides? I'm happy they are off to such an emphatically great start this year.

I'm not sure there is a BCS team worse than Iowa State at this point. They have dropped their first two games to Kent (not exactly the class of the MAC) and Northern Iowa (I-AA), at home, and neither game was within a single possession margin. I will be taking 17.5-point favorites Iowa against them this week, rivalry game be damned.

Another intriguing game is Fresno State at Oregon. I was ready to lay on Oregon — they are on a rush — against a Fresno State team that has to be deflated and exhausted after losing to Texas A&M in triple overtime. But 16 points, the current spread, is an awful lot. Fresno State lives for these high-profile BCS games and then tanks against WAC opponents. Oregon beat Houston by 21 at home, and I say Fresno State is more than six points better than Houston, even considering the Texas A&M aftereffects and Oregon momentum (which so often turns into overconfidence, as we saw last year when Rutgers beat Louisville and then turned around and lost to Cincinnati). Yep, I'm going to go the other way and take Fresno State, though only 32% of gamblers agree with me at this point per Covers.com.

Bet you didn't know the Rugby World Cup is going on right now, and the United States is in it. They even put on a respectable show against reigning World Cup champs England, losing 28-10 in a game that could've been closer (rugby union scores are roughly equivalent to American football scores, so use that as a gauge).

Unfortunately, they are in the Group of Death. In addition to England, they have South Africa (ranked third in the world), Samoa (10th), and Tonga (14th). The United States are ranked 15th, believe it or not. But there's a huge gap between top eight and the rest of the world. I was hoping United States would knock off Samoa and Tonga, and play respectably against South Africa. They lost to Tonga, however, 25-15.

Qualifying for UEFA Euro 2008 is heading down the home stretch now, as most teams have only three or four matches left. If qualifying ended today, the most surprising non-qualifier would be World Cup runner-up France, who have been stung by a sweep at the hands of surprise group leaders Scotland. World champions Italy are second in the same group (the top two teams from seven groups qualify). World Cup semifinalists Portugal are also fighting for their lives, lying third behind Poland and Finland, though they have a game in hand to try to catch up. Draws at Armenia and home to Serbia have hindered them.

But there's still more significant events going on you weren't aware of: Eurobasket, the European basketball championships, are entering the quarterfinal stages, and the tournament doubles as an Olympic Qualifying event. The only real surprise there is Darko Milicic's Serbia, ranked fourth in the world, got bounced in the group stage after going winless.

The most interesting aspect of Olympic basketball qualifying is that the also-rans from each continent's qualifying competition will enter a wildcard tournament less than a month before the Games to see through three more teams. Canada and Puerto Rico are among those who will try to qualify via these pre-Olympic Olympics. If you're looking for a last minute bet, Spain plays Germany in the fourth quarterfinal today at 4:30 Eastern, and I like Spain, who has been tearing it up, at -14.5 against Germany, who has struggled.

Posted by Kevin Beane at 11:50 AM | Comments (0)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 26

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson enters the Chase as the No. 1 seed after pulling away for the win in Richmond, his sixth win of the year, two more than teammate Jeff Gordon. Johnson will start with a 20-point cushion over Gordon in defense of the Cup title he won last year.

"It's all falling into place for me," says Johnson, "just like it did last year. The blueprint is the same: fast start, get caught cheating, win Cup title. My goal is crossing the finish line successfully. Crew chief Chad Knaus' goal is crossing the inspection line successfully."

2. Jeff Gordon — Gordon led the most laps in Richmond, 191, but succumbed to Jimmie Johnson's late race surge amd eventually finished fifth. Having picked up his fourth win in June, Gordon went the final 12 races leading up to the Chase without a win.

"Call it a slump if you want," says Gordon. "I prefer to attribute it to the rigors of fatherhood. A Nextel Cup sure would look good in the nursery."

3. Tony Stewart — Stewart will start the Chase alone in third, 30 points down to Johnson, and 10 behind Gordon in second. Stewart missed the Chase last year, but enters this year's Chase as one of the favorites.

"If I had to handicap the field," says Stewart, "I'd put Dale Earnhardt's engine in everyone's car but mine."

4. Denny Hamlin — Hamlin scored his 15th top-10 this year with a sixth in Richmond, and begins the Chase 50 points down to Jimmie Johnson. Hamlin has a short history of strong finishes in New Hampshire, and could easily take the first win of the Chase.

"Just a thought," says Hamlin. "But shouldn't a win in the Chase get a driver 10 extra points? NASCAR wants to put an emphasis on winning races to capture the Cup, but right now, drivers are awarded more for wins leading up to the Chase."

5. Carl Edwards — While leading midway through the race at Richmond, the engine to Edward's Roush Fenway Ford blew, leaving him with a 42nd-place finish. Still, Edwards begins the Chase in fourth, 40 points behind Johnson.

"In situations like that," says Edwards, "it's best just to forget about the past. That's when I look in the mirror, smile, and call myself 'Carl of Tomorrow.'"

6. Kurt Busch — Busch finished ninth at Richmond, despite suffering damage in an accident in which he checked up behind Ryan Newman's spinning car, only to be rammed by Juan Pablo Montoya.

"And who, pray tell, will be the one driver not in the Chase who will have the most impact on the outcome?" asks Busch. "It's got to be JPM, who seems to have an ongoing vendetta against undented cars. I say JPM eliminates at least three Chase drivers from Cup contention before all is said and done."

7. Kyle Busch — Where will Busch's allegiances lie when the Chase starts in New Hampshire on Sunday? Will it be with his current Hendrick teammates, his future Joe Gibbs teammates, or with his brother, Kurt?

"None of the above," replies Busch. "It's every man for himself, which accounts for all of the Chase drivers except for my 'brother' Kurt. Like everyone else, I'm not sure of his gender, and I'm not sure of his loyalty either."

8. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth finished 14th in the Chevy Rock and Roll 400, and will start the Chase 50 points behind Jimmie Johnson. Kenseth has been consistent all year, but to win the Cup, he'll have to find a little more than just consistency.

"If I was a gear," says Kenseth, "I'd be neutral. I'm never great. I'm never terrible. I'm somewhere between the two. To win the Cup, I've got to find another gear. Maybe I'll kill two birds with one stone and find another gear, and a personality, in the same place."

9. Martin Truex, Jr — Truex will start 50 points behind Jimmie Johnson, and will join Kurt Busch as the only drivers without a teammate among the Chase qualifiers.

"It's been a trying year," says Truex. "But I have learned one very important lesson this year: under no circumstances should you asks for a 51% stake in Dale Earnhardt, Incorporated, even if your name is Dale Earnahrdt."

10. Kevin Harvick — Harvick finished seventh in the Chevy Rock and Roll 400, but not without some drama. Diving low to avoid an accident on lap 243, Harvick's No. 29 Chevy flew through the infield grass, collected grass and debris that clogged his grill.

"Grass in the grill is never a good thing," says Harvick, "especially if you're a rapper trying to convince a cop that he doesn't smell something suspicious."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:25 AM | Comments (0)

September 12, 2007

Mario Williams: Out of the Shadows

When the Houston Texans picked Mario Williams first overall in last year's draft, they immediately placed him into a lose-lose situation. The Texans' offense was miserable and no matter what Williams did on defense, he would always be overshadowed by the performances of Reggie Bush and Vince Young, the two other players that were heavily considered by the Texans in the 2006 draft.

While many could still argue that it was a terrible draft-day decision, there no reason to put down Williams' performance at the same time — even if he had a less effective season than Houston's second-round pick, DeMeco Ryans.

Williams was drafted for one main reason — potential. He had a pretty good final season at North Carolina State, but it was his performance at the combine that caused scouts to salivate and made the Texans take him first overall.

When a team drafts a player based on potential, it is completely unfair to compare him to "NFL-ready" players from the start.

While Vince Young was being promoted as the Tennessee Titans' savior and Reggie Bush was being hailed as the greatest thing to happen to sports since LeBron James, Mario Williams was doing all he could to work on his game while ignoring the media hype surrounding the performance of his rookie peers.

This year is different.

In the Texans' opening game of the season, Mario Williams came up with a huge performance against the Kansas City Chiefs, amassing 5 tackles, 2 sacks, and 1 TD on a fumble recovery. While it is too early to tell whether or not Williams is ready to take his game to the next level, one thing is certain: the guy is 6'6" of pure potential.

The Texans completely dominated the lowly Chiefs, forcing 4 turnovers and capitalizing on the opportunities given to them. They have improved from top to bottom with improvements made at quarterback, running back, punter, kick-returner, and, most importantly, coaching. With Gary Kubiak coming into his first full-season with the Texans, expectations were high. After one game, there's a chance that these expectations might actually be met.

Yes, the Texans only beat the Chiefs and sure, Mario Williams has only played one game this season. Houston has nonetheless made steps in the right directions. They have finally given themselves a chance to forget about last year's draft. But if Williams continues to play with the same tenacity that he showed against the Chiefs, the 2006 draft might be one that Houston fans want to remember after all.

Posted by Chad Kettner at 11:25 AM | Comments (2)

September 11, 2007

In the Box: NFL Week 1

It started with a romp in Indianapolis and ended with a double-dip of final-second Monday Night madness. There was Tom Brady standing cool and collected and Charlie Frye scrambling for his professional life. There was the birth of at least two rookie stars in Minnesota's Adrian Peterson and San Francisco's Patrick Willis. There was the re-birth of the Packers' defense.

And, unfortunately, there was tragedy in the form of Buffalo tight end Kevin Everett's severe spinal cord injury.

This is In the Box, where I'll take a tour of the box scores from each game of the past weekend with lessons learned and potential fantasy impacts.

Indianapolis 41, New Orleans 10: For all the talk of who the Colts lost, Thursday night showed once again why Bill Polian and the Indy personnel department are the best in the NFL. Out go Jason David (New Orleans) and Nick Harper (Tennessee), in come Marlin Jackson (first round, 2005, 12 tackles, and a forced fumble) and Kelvin Hayden (second round, 2005, 9 tackles). Out goes Cato June (Tampa Bay), in comes Freddie Keiaho (undrafted out of San Diego State, 6 tackles, and an interception).

Fantasy impact: Every single Joseph Addai owner about swallowed their tongues when he went down within the first 15 seconds of the game. Kenton Keith might not be a household name, but he's one awkward tackle from having a potentially monster season. If you've got the roster space to store him, do so (especially if you have Addai).

Denver 15, Buffalo 14: Considering the yardage disparity (470 for Denver, 184 for Buffalo), this game was a lot closer than it should have been. Bills QB J.P. Losman finished with just seven more yards passing than rookie Marshawn Lynch had running (97 to 90). That's not good.

Fantasy impact: Crazy stat from the ESPN fantasy department: Denver rookie running back Selvin Young is owned in 7.3 percent of all ESPN leagues. New Broncos receiver Brandon Stokley is at 3.5 percent. Here's betting Stokley is up over 90 by their Week 6 bye. Jump on him now.

Pittsburgh 34, Cleveland 7: I know there's no shot of this happening, especially after the Browns jettisoned Charlie Frye to Seattle today, but I would sit Brady Quinn until Week 12 and let him play a final six of Houston, at Arizona, at the Jets, Buffalo, at Cincinnati, San Francisco. The Browns have no hope of winning in 2007, Quinn or no Quinn. There's no point in getting the kid killed.

With that said, public pressure is a bitch. Whether he starts or not is irrelevant. Quinn makes his debut this Sunday against the Bengals.

Fantasy impact: If you rolled the dice with Jamal Lewis, don't drop him just yet. The Steelers' defense is one of the best in the AFC, so a bad first week was to be expected. I wouldn't start him in Week 2, but I wouldn't cut him yet, either.

Green Bay 16, Philadelphia 13: Two really good defenses collided, and the Eagles made the critical mistakes that cost them the game. Green Bay's first points and only touchdown was off a muffed punt. Their next three came after a Donovan McNabb pick. Down 10-0, the Eagles had first and goal at the six, only to settle for a field goal. With the score tied at 13 with five minutes in the fourth, the Eagles defense forced a turnover and gave the ball to the offense at the Packers' 38. They lost 12 yards and kicked a 22-yard punt. The Eagles D holds. Green Bay punts. Eagles muff. Packers recover and kick the winning field goal.

Poor Philly fans. Watching your team give away road wins with sloppy football is a terrible way to go through life.

Fantasy impact: The Mason Crosby era has begun. The rookie from Colorado looked fantastic, hitting on all three attempts, including a 53-yarder and the game winner.

Carolina 27, St. Louis 13: Excuse me while I channel my inner Barack Obama: I told you! I tried telling everybody the Rams secondary was crap, but nobody wanted to listen. They just wanted to talk about Steven Jackson and Torry Holt and Marc Bulger. But you can't win with meat for a secondary, and that's exactly what the Rams are throwing out there.

The scary part for Rams fans is the offense looked as bad as the defense. Jackson looks like he spent all offseason reading his press clippings (18 rushes for 58 yards and two critical lost fumbles). And now that All-Pro LT Orlando Pace is out for the year, things are only going to get tougher.

Fantasy impact: After staying on the sidelines in Week 1, there's a good shot you'll be seeing new Rams receiver Drew Bennett cut loose by panicking owners. Pick him up. As the season develops, you could very well see the Rams going to a shorter passing game to minimize a pass rush against a weakened offensive line. With Torry Holt's knee still a concern, Bennett could develop into the go-to guy across the middle.

Minnesota 24, Atlanta 3: The final score got out of hand, but lost in the highlights is the fact the Vikings offense was generally ineffective against the Falcons defense. Sixty-yard screen passes for touchdowns are nice and all, but you'll lose more than you win if that and interceptions for touchdowns are your primary mode of scoring. Bottom line from this game: the Vikings aren't this good and the Falcons aren't this bad.

Fantasy impact: For those of us who took a flier on Chester Taylor, cut bait now. You can take up a roster spot hoping his abdominal/hip injury isn't that bad and he'll come back, but Peterson is officially the man for Minnesota. Save yourself the heartache of watching Taylor languish on your bench and move on.

New England 38, New York Jets 14: Leave it to Jets fans to boo their starting quarterback when he gets hurt. I disagree, though, when Chris Berman said, "you're better than that." Actually, you're not. That's exactly who you are.

Fantasy impact: This was chapter one in the development of the Patriots' offense. First, establish Randy Moss as the dominant, must-double number 1 receiver. As teams realize they can't single Moss, they are going to have to leave room for Donte Stallworth on the other side. My bet is we see a big game out him next, though it might not be against the Chargers in Week 2. Then it'll be Ben Watson and Wes Welker over the middle. Then it'll be the running game up the gut.

There's no question the Pats and Colts have the two best offenses in the NFL. Only a huge rash of injuries stops this from being the AFC Championship Game once again. The question is where.

Washington 16, Miami 13: The most shocking stat of this game was the Redskins' ability to run on the Dolphins' D to the tune of 191 yards on 41 carries (4.66 average). Combined with the Washington run defense, holding Miami to just 66 yards on 20 carries, and the 'Skins seem positioned for success. With that said, Jason Campbell is going to have to play a lot better than 12-of-21 with 2 picks if he expects to come out of Philly with a "W" next Monday.

Fantasy impact: This may be a good time to pick up Ronnie Brown on the cheap. His numbers against Washington were horrible (11 carries for 32 yards), but supposed option 1A Jesse Chatman was even less effective on the ground (7 carries for 15 yards), had a fumble in the second quarter, and looked to be limping toward the end of the game. Here's betting Brown goes back to being more of a true No. 1 and rebounds in Week 2 against a Dallas team that allowed 5.6 yards per rush against the Giants in Week 1.

Tennessee 13, Jacksonville 10: That tie around Jack Del Rio's throat has to be feeling more and more like a noose as his defense got smoked for 282 yards rushing at home. Chris Brown, who had to settle for a job-sharing role with the Titans after a lukewarm reception in free agency, rushed for 175 yards on only 19 carries. That's a 9.2-yard-per-rush average against what was supposed to be one of the best defenses in the league. Truly shocking.

Fantasy impact: Matt Jones didn't catch a single ball and Del Rio didn't even dress Reggie Williams. Coupled with the ultimate demise of the Byron Lefwich era, and you have to ask: which is more at fault, the Jaguars' drafting philosophy or their inability to get the best out of their players? Either way, it doesn't matter for Jones or Williams. They are non-factors from a fantasy perspective.

Houston 20, Kansas City 3: It is going to be a loooooong year for Kansas City. Houston looked good, but I'm not completely sold. Their offense only scored 1 touchdown and twice they had to settle for field goals after having first downs in the red zone. That needs to improve.

Fantasy impact: Ahman Green owners had to be upset seeing Ron Dayne get nearly as many carries (13 to Green's 16) as the guy who just got a $30 million contract. If I'm a Green owner (which, thankfully, I'm not), I'd unload on another owner faster than you can say "platoon."

Detroit 36, Oakland 21: Lane Kiffin should immediately turn the team over to Daunte Culpepper and leave him in there for as much of the rest of the year as possible. If the team tanks, maybe you give the finally-signed JaMarcus Russell a shot toward the end of the season. But they need better than what Josh McCown gave them (2 picks, 3 fumbles, though none lost) against a vulnerable defense.

Fantasy impact: With the return of Roy Williams and Mike Furrey, plus the addition of Calvin Johnson, the Lions' Shaun McDonald has been somewhat of an afterthought. But it was McDonald who led the Lions with 6 catches for 90 yards and a touchdown. And he's available in a lot of leagues (99.8 percent of ESPN leagues, to be exact).

San Diego 14, Chicago 3: Some games are low scoring because of bad offense. This was a classic showdown of great defense. And it was also a showcase of how the Bears need to do something to get more out of their offense. They'll be able to win 10 or 11 games with that defense (though the loss of Mike Brown really hurts). But you need to score to win a Super Bowl. They need to start Brian Griese. That's all there is to it.

Fantasy impact: If you were to make up a Week 1 All-Panic Team, made up entirely of guys whose owners want to drop them out of pure spite, the starting running back would be Cedric Benson. 19 carries for 42 yards and a lost fumble is no way to endear yourself to a fan-base who never really liked you in the first place.

Seattle 20, Tampa Bay 6: Seattle still has some work to do on offense, but their defense looked far better with the addition of Patrick Kerney. He and last year's big free-agent signing, Julian Peterson, combined for 3.5 of the Seahawks 5 sacks. Right now, Seattle is the class of the NFC West, and there really isn't a close second.

Fantasy impact: If you have Deion Branch, who was shutout by the Tampa D, don't panic. He's still in for a great year. If you don't have him, see if whoever does will let him go cheap.

Dallas 45, New York Giants 35: For at least one week, my Tony Romo-for-MVP campaign is in good standing. He looked great against a Giants defense that has so many holes, it could pass for the occupation strategy for Iraq. Maybe they can use a surge and play with 16 guys on defense instead of just 11.

Fantasy impact: If Brandon Jacobs is out for any length of time, it should be Reuben Droughns, not Derrick Ward, who becomes the feature back. He's done it before and he can do it again. Ward hasn't. You can expect Droughns to hit the waiver wire in most leagues. If you're looking for a potential payoff down the line, pick him up and wait for logic to set in.

Cincinnati 27, Baltimore 20: First thing's first: the Hall of Fame jacket "celebration" by Chad Johnson was bunk. It looked like it was made by his middle-school girlfriend.

As for the game itself, injuries to Jonathan Ogden and Steve McNair are ultimately going to kill the season and result in Brian Billick's final demise. Add in the fact that Ray Lewis has, according to reports, a torn triceps, and a bunch of other guys had to receive treatment during the game, and this could get ugly fast.

Fantasy impact: The Bengals' D looked very capable of finally pulling its weight. They forced six turnovers and allowed Baltimore to convert on just 2-of-13 third-down attempts. Consider them a valuable pickup to start against Cleveland in Week 2.

San Francisco 20, Arizona 17: This was just ugly. Both defenses can play, and the 49ers' Willis is a stud in the making, but this game was bad offense all around. Alex Smith seems to be running backwards every other pass attempt, Darrell Jackson still has hands of stone, the Cards' offensive line still has holes (especially with new starting center Al Johnson out), and Vernon Davis (2 catches for 4 yards) was a complete non-factor.

Also, Mike Ditka should never be allowed to call another game ever. I feel terrible for Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic that Ditka's inane ramblish (rambling rubbish) ruined their one shot at a Monday night game.

Fantasy impact: Arnaz Battle is a quality receiver with good hands. Contrasted with D-Jax's continuing troubles with drops, and you could see a 75-80 catch season ahead for the former Notre Dame quarterback.

Seth Doria is a freelance writer based out of St. Louis. For the only daily column that mixes sports, politics, and entertainment news in one, visit The Left Calf.

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 11:58 AM | Comments (1)

Pay-Rod

It's early September, and Alex Rodriguez is rapidly pushing his way towards a plateau on which even he's never before stood: 60 home runs. It's a mark that doesn't mean as much now as it did a decade ago, but for the game's best player it could actually end up meaning much more than even he's used to.

As you may or may not recall, the colossal implosion that led to the Yankees dismissal from the 2006 playoffs left A-Rod's status with the team in limbo, and sent trade speculations and rumor's of the often-hated slugger's departure flying into the air like so many of his towering home runs. When the dust settled and spring training approached, amidst the boos and nasty headlines, Rodriguez declined his option for 2008, and entered what could be his last season in pinstripes prepared for it to be just that.

And you didn't hear too many Yankees fans complaining, that is until, you know, he single-handedly kept New York afloat during a dismal first half while putting up MVP-worthy numbers.

So now it's almost free agency time, and with Scott Boras as his agent and maybe his best all-around season in his back pocket, we can all agree on one thing: Alex Rodriguez is going to get paid, even by his standards.

There's a lot of understandable speculation about where, if anywhere else, A-Rod will go for 2008 and whether the future Hall of Famer can possibly stomach another season in the Big Apple where tabloid photogs hunt him day and night even in other cities. There's also a lot of speculation about how you can possibly give a guy that once signed a $252 million contract a raise.

Obviously, speculation on both those points will become more guided depending on how A-Rod and the Yankees finish their season, but there are a few things we can all agree on.

1) Alex Rodriguez won't play for less money than he makes now, unless he wants to in order to go to a particular team.
2) Few teams can afford Alex Rodriguez, even at a discount.
3) He's probably not going to the National League.

Where does that leave us? Pretty much right back where we are. I think it's safe to say the Boston Red Sox are out, even though the American League East leaders have a lengthy history of trying to court big-name Yankees, just as the Yankees do of courting ex-Red Sox. Still, Boston did the A-Rod dance once before and with the image of Jason Varitek face washing Rodriguez as the lasting iconic visual of their World Series run in 2004, it would just be weird.

To me, that leaves two options: the New York Yankees and Los Angeles Angels. L.A. can afford Rodriguez, they're a Latin-owned team (which would probably play into A-Rod/Boras' constant chase for new marketing credibility) and it's far, far away from New York and back in division where Rodriguez has already played for two teams and done plenty of damage to the rest of them. The Angels are also, interestingly enough, the team that's absolutely dominated the Yankees during A-Rod's time there.

But will Arte Moreno pay an unprecedented $30 million for the luxury of putting Rodriguez with Guerrero? What about $35 million? As we agreed, he's probably not taking a pay cut.

Well, heading into their final season in the current Yankee Stadium and with a World Series title hardly assured this year, Rodriguez' value to the Yankees might actually be even higher than the salary they're currently paying him, and when Yankee dollars come knocking, more often than not, Scott Boras clients will answer.

And for the first time, New York actually wants, maybe even needs A-Rod, and only they can really afford to make him feel the same way.

Posted by Aaron Miller at 11:16 AM | Comments (0)

September 10, 2007

Wild and Wacky Week 2

What a crazy weekend it was in college football: huge upsets, massive blowouts, and squeakers — and those were just the Top 25 games!

First, let's talk about the upsets, those ranked teams that lost to unranked ones. Of course, the one that just about everyone's talking about is Oregon's shellacking of Michigan in the Big House. The scuttlebutt here in the northwest all week was that the Ducks were going to get roasted (with a side of mango salsa) since the Wolverines were going to be plenty mad after losing to Appalachian State the previous week.

Most people were predicting a 39-7 final ... only with Michigan getting the win. All I can say after watching that game yesterday is "wow!" I never would have guessed that Oregon would have as easy a time making the vaunted Michigan defense look like a gaggle of blind guys as they did.

Last week, I sort of dismissed the whole Michigan-out-of-the-BCS-hunt talk as jumping the gun, but not this week. With Ohio State, Wisconsin, and Penn State all playing better, the Wolverines will be lucky to be playing in a bowl game after Christmas (those pre-Christmas bowls aren't too prestigious, you know).

Three other upsets occurred among the Top 25 teams on Saturday, one of them not too surprising in my view. That was Washington beating Boise State. I didn't figure that the Broncos would be quite as good as last year's Fiesta Bowl champs, and I kind of figured that the Huskies would be a little better than the past couple years because Tyrone Willingham doesn't tolerate losing for very long. So Washington's 24-10 win at home over the Broncs wasn't that big of an upset in my book. However, the other two upsets — a pair of SEC powers hitting the deck — were.

Okay, so maybe South Carolina beating Georgia 18-12 isn't that huge of an upset, but going "between the hedges" against the No. 11 team is fairly significant. However, much like Washington, the Gamecocks are in their third year under a very successful coach, Steve Spurrier, and he doesn't like losing any more than Willingham does. So, chalk one up to South Carolina being a much improved team and maybe a darkhorse in the SEC title chase.

The final upset, though, is one of significance as South Florida knocked off No. 17 Auburn in overtime, 26-23. The Bulls aren't that far removed from I-AA status (their football program is less than two decades old), but they have been to a bowl game the past two seasons, and took Rutgers down to the wire last year. But to knock off the Tigers in Auburn? Again, "wow."

Aside from the upsets, there were several games in which other ranked teams escaped by the skin of their teeth — all to unranked teams. How about No. 20 Hawaii needing overtime to hold off pesky Louisiana Tech? Or how about No. 23 Texas A&M needing three overtimes to beat Fresno State? Or what about No. 5 Wisconsin having to score the final TD of the game (plus convert a two-pointer) to knock off UNLV 20-13? Then there was No. 16 Nebraska trailing 17-13 to Wake Forest in the third quarter before holding off the Demon Deacons, 20-17.

And there was No. 3 West Virginia down 13-6 at half-time to Marshall before putting them away; No. 12 Ohio State only led Akron 3-2 at the half (what is this, baseball?) en route to a 20-2 win; No. 10 Cal had just a 17-14 lead at half-time on Colorado State and only won by six, 34-28; No. 13 UCLA let BYU get within three in the third quarter before eventually winning by 10; and No. 24 Tennessee had just a 17-16 lead at half-time over Southern Miss before prevailing by 20. Yikes! Maybe a little too close for comfort in a couple of those games.

Finally, there were the hyped games that turned out to be snooze-fests. Of course, the first one was the aforementioned Michigan/Oregon game. Next was the No. 5 Oklahoma/Miami game in which ABC wasted its No. 2 broadcast crew to call a 51-13 rout by the Sooners. Following that was No. 14 Penn State against Notre Dame — of course, any Notre Dame game is hyped — and was pretty close at half-time (14-7, Penn State), but turned out to be a runaway for the Nittany Lions. But the one that takes the cake is No. 2 LSU's dismantling of No. 9 Virginia Tech. Huge game, right? Huge only for the Tigers, who waltzed through a 48-7 laugher. April's shooting tragedy aside, the Hokies simply did not look prepared to play this game.

So that leaves only one Top 25 matchup that wasn't a massacre, an upset, or a close call against a lesser team: Texas and TCU. Well, actually, the game was pretty entertaining for three quarters, with the No. 19 Horned Frogs enjoying a 10-0 half-time lead over the No. 7 Longhorns. But by the end of the third quarter, it was tied at 10, and then Texas turned on the juice to score 24 fourth-quarter points on their way to a 34-13 win.

A quick check of next week's scheduled doesn't really pose many "upset specials," although there are a handful of intriguing games on tap. At the top of the list is the annual Tennessee/Florida matchup in Gainesville. Other games to keep an eye on include Ohio State at Washington, Arkansas at Alabama, USC at Nebraska, and Boston College at Georgia Tech.

Now, I don't think anyone would have predicted Oregon to beat Michigan as bad as they did, or LSU to waste Virginia Tech like they did, or South Florida to knock off Auburn at home. I also don't think many people believe that Citadel can upset Wisconsin, or that Buffalo can knock off Penn State. But that's the beauty of college football, right? One never knows until the final gun sounds.

***

Week 2's "in case you weren't paying attention" briefs:

Blowout of the Week: Western Kentucky over West Virginia Tech, 87-0 (that's not a football game ... that's a massacre!)

Busted Scoreboard: Louisville 58, MTSU 42 (100 combined points). Better check the fuses before the next game!

Posted by Adam Russell at 11:42 AM | Comments (0)

September 8, 2007

Delay of Fantasy Game

The NFL season arrived for me late last week, as my thoughts officially turned from the Mets' pennant chase to the Jets' opening game against that coach who dresses like a homeless guy on a Boston street corner and that big-toothed quarterback who should really just lose a damn Super Bowl already.

It's been a fairly good offseason for Gang Green: Eric Mangenius pulls a cameo on "The Sopranos," Thomas Jones slides in as Curtis Martin's heir, the rookies are a year older and smarter, Chad Pennington has yet to land on injured reserve despite being the quarterbacking equivalent of Sam Jackson's brittle bone disease in "Unbreakable." Seriously, things are pretty cool — until the Patriots administer what the pessimistic Jets fan in me anticipates will be a "you really didn't think you'd contend for the AFC East Title now, diddya?" smackdown.

But even though the Jets had me excited, the opening of the regular season for the rest of the NFL didn't. I had a peculiar apathy for a league that's basically a second religion for me. (Come to think of it, both Catholic mass and the Jets' offense have bored the piss out of me over the last two decades of fall and winter Sundays.)

Why did I suddenly not care about the NFL? Then it hit me: I wasn't in a football pool, nor was I signed up for a fantasy league. A summer of wedding planning and sportswriting had distracted me from my annual pigskin routine.

These two activities had given such meaning to every down of every game for the last few seasons that the NFL was suddenly just another pedestrian sports season if they weren't a major part of it. Without them, football didn't have the same kind of meaning. Without them, I was incomplete as a fan.

I suddenly felt like one of those degenerates that can't have a fun night on the town without kicking it off with a shot of tequila.

Luckily, my old football pool started up with days to spare before the regular season. But I had slipped through the cracks of my old fantasy league, uninvited to the party this year. (Maybe it was the temper-tantrum I threw after last season's auto draft stuck me with Trent Green as my starting quarterback ... as if any self-respecting Jets fans would ever want the signal caller from a Herm Edwards team on his fantasy roster.)

Hastily, a fantasy league in my newspaper office was thrown together; a collection of sports geeks and newbies with nowhere else to turn. I signed up quickly, offering yet another Jets-inspired team name:

2005: Down Goes Pennington
2006: French-Kissing Namaths
2007: Mangenius_or_Mangina?

I was prepared to force through a draft before the first game of the season ... that is until the league commissioner said the good folks at Yahoo! wouldn't allow us to hold a draft until the afternoon of Sept. 11.

After the first week of football had been played.

As a fantasy league veteran, this was utter and complete blasphemy, like walking into a movie 10 minutes after it started and claiming to have enjoyed the entire picture. Part of what make fantasy sports so appealing are the hot stove decisions made before a single game that counts has been played. It's easy to grab off-the-radar players who lit it up in Week 1; it's a hell of a lot harder, and more satisfying, to find those diamonds in the fantasy draft rough when everyone else was busy drafting busts.

My own lollygagging made this bed, so I'm lying in it. And because I have to make myself feel better about this awkward situation, I feel the need to justify its virtues. With that, here are:

WHY IT'S OKAY TO HOLD YOUR FANTASY DRAFT AFTER WEEK 1

1. False Prophets: There will be players in Week 1 that will go from late-round prospects to flat-out superstars. While most fantasy leagues will be debating whether or not to trade for running back Johnny Comelately, competitors in my league will have decide if he's worth moving up the draft board to take or if he's a flash in the opening week pan. Somehow, the stakes will be higher for us.

2. Preseason Means Nothing: Haven't we been told this since Neanderthals first picked up a prehistoric pigskin? Why should fans be forced to base their most important draft-day decisions on a month of games that feature more game-play from Div. II college players than from the legit NFL talent?

3. Avoiding Cracked Eggs in One Basket: Remember how I mentioned that the auto draft gave me Trent Green last season? Well, had we held the draft after Week 1, there wouldn't have been a chance in hell he would have been my quarterback after suffering a severe concussion against the Bengals. There's always a chance that first-round, franchise player of yours might break down in Week 1. Having the draft after that week is a little extra insurance against that happening (although it offers no recourse for a Week 2 disaster).

4. Deceasing the Awkwardness: The worst fantasy leagues I've ever taken part in have involved a group of owners who are in a constant state of feeling each other and the players out. Evaluating, re-evaluating, but never actually making a deal worth a damn. Player movement is virtually impossible until they get a sample of games to judge their teams. With a post-opening weekend draft, I expect the transactions will flow like warm beer at a sports bar.

5. Increasing the Ridicule: By the time we have our draft, we'll have had rookie camp, training camp, at least 16 quarters of preseason football and at least four quarters of regular season football for each team. Yet there will be some douchebag who still takes Michael Vick in the first round because "it's like starting a third running back." There isn't yet a scientific measure for that level of unabated ridicule.

So there are some benefits to holding a draft after Week 1. Then again, maybe it's just flat-out sacrilege, unquestioned cheating, and a pathetic excuse for a legitimate NFL fantasy experience.

I'll let you know in December, based on how "Mangenius or Mangina" does in the playoffs.

Greg Wyshynski is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 11:04 AM | Comments (0)

Now Ear This

Apparently, there's a new pitching practice in Baltimore. Or, at least, Daniel Cabrera has one. When you commit a balk that invites an opposing run on the house, at a time when you're already down 2-0 against a bristling opposing pitcher, you shake it off by sticking the next pitch in the hitter's ear.

With Coco Crisp on third and two outs in the top of the fourth at Camden Yards Friday night, Crisp danced off the pad as if thinking about stealing home, but halted on a dime, startling Cabrera into a balk when he stopped his windup.

Crisp trotted home for the third Boston Red Sox run Friday night. And the 6'9" pitcher's idea of regrouping was to wing one behind 5'9" Dustin Pedroia's head post haste.

This wasn't a pitcher looking to dust someone after one of his own mates got dusted, which would be understandable. This wasn't even close to a pitcher who'd just suffered a little public humiliation from the previous batter's hitting one onto South Howard Street and took it out on the next man up, which would be deplorable enough.

Apparently, Crisp's daring feint startled Cabrera's brains into taking part of the inning off. Enough to make him think about turning Pedroia's brains into butterscotch pudding.

"I think everyone in the whole stadium except him thought that was pretty stupid," Pedroia told reporters, after the 4-0 Red Sox win behind Jon Lester and company. (The Red Sox got the rest of the runs on a pair of RBI singles and a sacrifice fly.) "Maybe he wanted to come out of the game. I don't know what he was thinking. It was pretty weird. He's like a foot-and-a-half taller than me. I really can't go to the mound after him."

So the Red Sox marched out of their dugout, led by manager Terry Francona himself, after Francona, outfielder Bobby Kielty, and first baseman Kevin Youkilis barked at Cabrera over the pitch. Home plate umpire Mike DiMuro handed both clubs a warning and both clubs emptied their dugouts and their bullpens.

And while his hapless teammates did their best to restrain him, Cabrera and his catcher, Ramon Hernandez, began waving arms at the Olde Towne Team and all but challenging them.

"They say bad (four-letter euphemism for excrement)," the pitcher said after the game. "They were talking (same four-letter euphemism for excrement) from the other side and that's something I don't like. I didn't lose my temper, I didn't lose nothing. The ball slipped out of my hand and after they started getting off the bench and say bad things. I think I don't lose (my temper)."

What on earth did Cabrera expect the Red Sox to say after he nearly turned Pedroia's ear canal into a model of the Chesapeake Bay Tunnel? "Way to bring it, big man?"

That the Red Sox might not have liked watching their rookie star ducking on the first pitch after a balk didn't seem to be programmed into Cabrera's software just yet.

Challenging them overtly to fight, and throwing down his glove to punctuate it for measure good enough, while trying to excuse himself as having a near-hundred mile an hour head shot slip from his hand, probably wasn't the ideal way for Cabrera to suggest that he'd been the wronged man, either.

"I don't think we escalated anything," Francona said when it was all over. "I don't know. I've got my hands full trying to de-escalate. We're in the middle of a pennant race here. We've got more important things to worry about. You can ask them. It wasn't the focal point of our night; the focal point was the win."

And, on Lester's magnificent pitching in his eighth start since he returned to the Show after his 2006 ended in a fight against lymphoma, he punched out four, walked a pair, and let only one Oriole (Brian Roberts, who opened the bottom of the first with a hit and stole second) past first base for his entire seven innings' work.

And, perhaps, on hitting 30 games above the .500 mark for the first time since they last reached the Promised Land a mere three years ago.

The Orioles, unfortunately, haven't had all that much about which to crow since Dave Trembley accepted a contract extension removing the "interim" from his job title and his players rewarded him, in his first game without "interim," with that 30-3 deep frying at the Texas Rangers' hands.

"I think [Cabrera] lost his cool. I can tell you very honestly it's going to be addressed," said Trembley after the scrum and the game. "I'm just glad Pedroia didn't get hurt. He didn't do anything."

Perhaps so far as Cabrera was concerned, Pedroia's mere presence in the batter's box after the balk was offense enough. Certainly so far as the umpires were concerned, trying to drill a hole in Pedroia's head was bad enough. But wriggling free of first base umpire Bill Welke restraining him, then running toward the third base side and challenging the Red Sox to a piece of himself, were more than enough to get Cabrera an invitation to early relief.

Trembley exploded at the ejection. Fat lot of good that must have done him. It sure wasn't going to undo a sorry streak of fourteen Oriole losses in 16 games entering Friday, including 10 consecutive home losses to tie a record the franchise set in their first season of being the artists (we use the term loosely) formerly known as the St. Louis Browns.

It sure wasn't going to undo the damage done to and by a club with a put-upon bullpen, a heart of the order whose power is drained enough, a shortstop who covers just enough ground to make a dubious and injury-addled pitching staff reach for the tranquilizers between innings, and a run of lopsided losses lopsided enough (now ear this, too: the Orioles were outscored 149-66 in the 15 games prior to the Red Sox coming to town Thursday) to make the 1988 Orioles — the ones who opened the season with a 21-game losing streak and finished with a 54-107 record — resemble overachievers.

And it sure wasn't going to erase any images Cabrera might have fashioned, of himself (and his 9-15/5.11 ERA/1.45 WHIP) and his fellow Orioles, even among no few of their own put-upon and classy fans, as classless losers who have more fight when their pitchers throw at heads to shake off their own mistakes than they do when it's time put up more runs than the other guys on the field.

Sorry, I didn't lose my temper, I didn't lose nothing. The words slipped out of my keyboard.

Posted by Jeff Kallman at 6:11 AM | Comments (0)

September 7, 2007

2007 NFL Preview: Seattle Seahawks

Looking At 2006 In The Rear View Mirror

After getting robbed in Super Bowl XL, the Seattle Seahawks had a rough ride back to the 2006 playoffs.

It started in the offseason, where the Seahawks didn't cover themselves properly and allowed guard Steve Hutchinson to sign with the Minnesota Vikings. Then they made a string of moves of their own, such as the signings of Tom Ashworth and Nate Burleson and acquisition of Deion Branch, which had a minimal impact on the team.

The Seahawks clearly didn't have the same rhythm or chemistry on offense last year, particularly when injuries started to pile up. Quarterback Matt Hasselbeck and league-MVP Shaun Alexander combined to miss 10 games, while the front five in front of them struggled to find any sort of continuity.

Injuries ravaged the defense, as well, as defensive tackle Marcus Tubbs, who is critical to stuffing the run, was lost to a knee injury after only five games. In the five that he played, the Seahawks allowed only 82 yards rushing per game. In the games that he missed, that totaled ballooned to 147 yards per game.

But the truth about the Seahawks is that you can pin-point a number of other weaknesses, such as average play at safety, lack of depth at cornerback (evident in playoff game versus Dallas) and inconsistent playmakers on offense (Darrell Jackson and Jerramy Stevens dropped a ton of passes) — and even factoring all of those things in, the Seahawks still pushed the Chicago Bears to overtime in the second round of the playoffs.

While head coach Mike Holmgren takes a lot of the credit, the rest of the Seahawks coaching staff is fairly underrated.

Not many teams can go 10 games without their two best offensive weapons — and nine other starters for a total of 48 games — and still venture as far as the Seahawks did — even in the NFC.

Just because they tucked up in the Northwest, there's no need to keep sleeping on this team.

Has The Window Of Opportunity Closed?

The Seahawks are no longer a group of young sprites on offense, although they do have a good nucleus of young players on defense.

But with Walter Jones hitting 33, Alexander now at age 30, and Hasselbeck to be 32 by the end of September, the three key components on offense are running out of time.

But the good news is none of them are out of their prime.

Jones, even at his age, was rated as the 10th-best player in the league in Peter King's recent Top 500 ranking. Hasselbeck will be fine as quarterbacks are typically in their prime at his age, while Alexander claims to be in the best shape of his career.

On defense, the window is definitely not closed as a young corps should only get better.

The linebacking corps is very strong, while Kelly Jennings, Josh Wilson, Brandon Mebane, and Darryl Tapp are quality contributors and the future cornerstones.

Losing Tubbs for the season is a huge blow and could derail Super Bowl plans, but Mebane has been a stout run-stuffer in camp, which might serve as a partial solution.

The window is definitely not closed, but there are a number of really young players that have to get up to speed quickly before the veterans run out of time.

What Has To Happen To Get Back To The Super Bowl?

In the NFC, even just on talent alone, the Seahawks are still one of the top units.

For them to get back to where they were, the offensive line has to gel first and foremost.

Rob Sims will try to secure the left guard spot, which was weakened after Hutchinson left. At center, Chris Spencer should be an upgrade. Locklear and Jones have to be the constants, while Gray should be as well, but Ray Willis can fill in if need be.

The talent is definitely there. Now they just need the chemistry and consistency.

If they get it, look for Alexander to be back to running downhill like he did in 2005. Don't forget, he set the regular season touchdown record before LaDainian Tomlinson shattered it last season.

At wide receiver, Deion Branch steps in full-time after Darrell Jackson was traded to San Francisco. It might seem odd that the Seahawks would trade D-Jack to a division rival, but the Seahawks — and their fans — were sick of key dropped passes and contract squabbling. His best days are likely behind him, as well, and his good days never included a 1,200-yard season, so they can live without him.

Branch gives this offense a better threat than they have had in recent years and he's worked overtime with Hasselbeck to develop the chemistry. There is still skepticism as to whether he is a top-flight No. 1 receiver, but he is in an excellent environment to thrive.

Burleson will look to bounce-back after a sluggish first season and has had a good camp, along with D.J. Hackett. With Bobby Engram back as well, the Seahawks have enough weapons at wideout, but once again, they need to get consistency.

That last word is also the reason why the Seahawks replaced tight end Jerramy Stevens, who has the talent to be an excellent tight end, with 35-year-old veteran Marcus Pollard. Pollard is unspectacular, but he is far more reliable with his hands.

There is a lot the Seahawks have to put together, but when you consider that a lot of their pieces (Sims, Branch, Burleson, Hackett) were being groomed last year, it wouldn't be a surprised if this offense was fully clicking by midseason.

On defense, the Seahawks only had 11 sacks in the second half of the season and addressed that problem by signing end Patrick Kerney. He'll also help shore up their run defense a little bit.

With Kerney, Bryce Fisher, and Darryl Tapp and now Jason Babin, who led the Houston Texans in sacks last year, the Seahawks have a pretty good rotation at defensive end.

The key, though, is in the middle, where the Seahawks were gashed on the ground down the stretch of the season. The Seahawks have to be better and although Brandon Mebane will help, they need more than just him.

In the secondary, the only returning starter is Marcus Trufant, but the unit as a whole should undoubtedly be better. Deon Grant and Brian Russell were very under-the-radar signings, but will make this unit a whole lot better. Grant is a stud, while Russell is the definition of dependable. Depth at corner is still a concern; beyond Wilson, there isn't much.

If the Seahawks can figure out how to slow the run, this defense should be a top-10 unit. And if the offense can assimilate the new pieces, there is not reason why this team won't be back competing in the NFC title game.

Biggest Weakness: Offensive Continuity/Chemistry — The offensive line and wide receivers have to rebuild the chemistry that was the foundation of their 2005 success.

Offensive X-Factor: Shaun Alexander — The o-line will be respectable this season after a year off. He says he is in the best shape of his career, but he has to prove it on the field.

Defensive X-Factor: Defensive Tackles — The Seahawks need to stop the run somehow and losing Tubbs in a meaningless preseason game is a back-breaker. They need to find a solution.

Fantasy Market: Buy Low

Deion Branch offers pretty good value considering where he is being drafted in comparison to other No. 1 wide receivers. Clearly, he is unproven in this offense, but when they are a go on full cylinders, the Seahawks' attack is among the best in the NFL. He has had a full offseason to work with the offense and has plenty of extra time working with Hasselbeck to develop the timing.

"Vegas" Dave Golokhov hosts "Hardcore Fantasy" on Hardcore Sports Radio, channel 186 on Sirius Satellite Radio. Catch it weekly on Saturdays at 12:00 PM ET.

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 11:36 AM | Comments (0)

MLB NL Playoff Odds

Continued from MLB AL Playoff Odds

NEW YORK METS

What to like: Personnel. They clearly have the best roster of any team in the NL. It's not even close.

What not to like: The bullpen. What a disaster, and with the fragility of their starting pitching, it is imperative that they find some sort of bridge to Billy Wagner, who has been very shaky recently (and that's putting it nicely).

Really? Jose Reyes stole 23 bases in 28 games in August. That may or may not be coincidental with Ricky Henderson becoming the first base coach in July, but at that rate, Reyes could threaten Ricky's record of 130 stolen bases in one season.

Verdict: Not even the Mets can screw this up. 100% guaranteed to make the playoffs.

CHICAGO CUBS

What to like: Lou Piniella. For those who claim managers aren't important in baseball, look no further than this team. Sweet Lou has them in the thick of it, without Mark Prior and Kerry Wood playing a significant role.

What not to like: Historically, everything that can wrong has done so in the Cubs storied history. Is there a reason to think things will be different this time around?

Really? In Carlos Zambrano's last six starts, the Cubs are 0-6. Surprising, considering the Cubs signed him to a five-year, $90+ million extension in mid-August.

Verdict: Assuming Zambrano comes around, the Cubs have the edge over the rest of the central in pitching and should be there in October. 65/35 to make the playoffs.

SAN DIEGO

What to like: Starting pitching. Without a doubt, the best staff in the NL, even with the recent struggles of Chris Young. Jake Peavy is the best pitcher in the NL (I won't say all of baseball, though,be cause it's the NL — who knows who is really good?).

What not to like: Hitting. Like every year, the Padres are short on bats. Who do you fear in their lineup? Adrian Gonzalez? Exactly.

Really? Is someone kidding me with Greg Maddux? How is it that Roger Clemens' every move is chronicled, yet hardly anyone realizes that Maddux is having another age-defying season?

Verdict: They'll probably get in, and lose in the first round like every other year. 65/35 to make the playoffs.

ATLANTA BRAVES

What to like: Experience. Most of these cats have been there before, and know how to do it.

What not to like: Rotation depth. After Tim Hudson and John Smoltz, who else is there?

Really? A lot is being made of the terrible season Andruw Jones is having, but what about the terrific season Chipper is currently engulfed in? If the Braves somehow manage to sneak in, he is a viable MVP candidate.

Verdict: With the division, all but lost, it's going to take a serious run to make up ground in the wildcard. And I think their experience will actually work against them, in that they know what they don't have to make the playoff run. 30/70 to make the playoffs.

ST. LOUIS CARDINALS

What to like: Dave Duncan. This guy should be nominated for manager of the year, I don't care what his title is. To take this staff and have it competing for the division is insane.

What not to like: Injuries. Chris Carpenter, Scott Rolen, and Juan Encarnacion are all gone for the season, and Jim Edmonds is a shell of his former self.

Really? For as bad as the Cardinals have been all season, they've only been as low as nine games under .500.

Verdict: There is a distinct chance the NL central winner will be only a game or two above .500, and that's reason to believe. 40/60 to make the playoffs.

MILWAUKEE BREWERS

What to like: The health of Ben Sheets. He gives the Brewers a viable number one starter, and has been good since his return after a month and a half stint on the DL.

What not to like: As is the case with most of the teams, the Brewers have holes. Their pitching isn't great, and other than Ryan Braun, they have a bunch of low average hitters.

Really? Before September 20th, their only opponents are Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, and Houston. If they aren't in first by then, they have no shot.

Verdict: Because of their soft schedule, Milwaukee should go right down to the wire. They have a slight edge over St. Louis, but the team will have to do something no one other than Jeff Suppan has done before. 45/55 to make the playoffs.

PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES

What to like: The lineup. Ryan Howard, Chase Utley and Jimmy Rollins are all bona fide MVP candidates, and everyone 1-7 can hit.

What not to like: Their rotation. With Cole Hamels out, along with the Jon Lieber and Freddy Garcia gone for the year, this is a staff that is in trouble.

Really? Aaron Rowand is having by far the best hitting season of his life, but gets overshadowed by the aforementioned MVP candidate triumvirate.

Verdict: It's all about the wildcard for this team. Can they get over the hump as they have consistently failed to do in years past? They will have a chance to make amends to their fans with their soft schedule in the last week, but I still have my doubts. 45/55 to make the playoffs.

LOS ANGELES DODGERS

What to like: They control their own destiny. Starting September 7th, the remainder of all their games will be played entirely against the NL West.

What not to like: Their second half struggles against those same NL west opponents.

Really? While not equaling his ridiculous first half, Brad Penny has still performed solidly and maintains an ERA under 3.00.

Verdict: The Dodgers have made the postseason two of the last three years, but questions loom as to whether or not they have what it takes to usurp either the Diamondbacks or Padres. It will more than likely come down to the last week. 51/49 to make the playoffs.

COLORADO ROCKIES

What to like: Home-field advantage. The Rockies are significantly better in Coors Field than they are on the road, and they have the majority of their remaining games at home.

What not to like: Jason Hirsch and Aaron Cook are out for the rest of the season. It's not as if either were threatening to win the Cy Young, but it puts even more strain on an at-best average starting rotation.

Really? Aside from a three-game set with Florida, all of the Rockies remaining opponents are involved in the playoff hunt, so they do control their own fate.

Verdict: It's the NL, and anything's possible in theory, but I find it difficult to believe the Rockies will be playing in October. 20/80 to make the playoffs.

ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS

What to like: Grit. After Randy Johnson went down for the season, this team has refused to fold. That, and Brandon Webb's heroics.

What not to like: The lineup. Other than Chris Young and Eric Byrnes, do the D-Backs have enough runs in the rest of their lineup to keep them going till the end of September?

Really? Doug Davis has been a life-saver for them, exactly the kind of pitcher his former club Milwaukee could use down the stretch.

Verdict: Can they hang on for dear life? I believe it will boil down to them and the Dodgers and Phillies for a three-way wildcard race, and they will succumb in the end. 45/55 to make the playoffs.

Posted by Piet Van Leer at 11:35 AM | Comments (1)

September 6, 2007

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 1 (Pt. 2)

Continued from NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 1 (Pt. 1)

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Philadelphia @ Green Bay

Week 1 in Green Bay begins Brett Favre's sold-out "Contemplating Retirement Tour III," sponsored by Prilosec, Wrangler Jeans, and Copenhagen smokeless tobacco. Favre will turn 38 in October, but still has one of the best arms in the game, and an unbending will that's allowed him to play in 237 consecutive games.

"Speaking of 'unbending,'" says Favre, "I just signed a new endorsement deal with Viagra. I am an iron man, but only on the field. Not only can I throw the pill, I can sling the pills, too. Honestly, I don't see myself retiring until management is comfortable with Aaron Rogers at quarterback, so it looks like I'll be around until Aaron's retirement."

The Eagles hope to make another playoff run, hopefully with a healthy Donovan McNabb for the duration of the year. After a sports hernia ended his 2005 season, McNabb suffered a season-ending knee injury last year. It's become an all too common occurence for Andy Reid.

"Absolutely," says Reid. "The words I most hate to hear, besides, 'Mr. Reid, this is the police. We have your sons,' are 'Ouch, that feels like a season-ending injury.' If Donovan stays healthy, I like our chances. If he gets hurt, I still like our chances. This is the NFC East, after all. 8-8 gets you places."

Before the game, McNabb and Favre chat at midfield, where McNabb asks the venerable Packer legend how he remains injury-free. Favre explains that pain is all in the head, then proceeds to describe the litany of injuries he's suffered, in great detail. McNabb vomits on the spot, but feels much better, and throws two touchdowns as the Eagles overcome the Packers, 27-21.

Pittsburgh @ Cleveland

The Browns executed arguably the league's best draft, taking offensive tackle Joe Thomas with the third pick and selecting Notre Dame's Brady Quinn 22nd. Quinn had earlier been projected as a high first round pick, possibly No. 1, but slipped all the way to 22, which easily takes the cake as the cruelest rookie prank ever perpetrated.

"As an Ohio native, it's great to be in Cleveland no matter the circumstances," say Quinn. "The pressure doesn't bother me. I went from playing in the shadow of Touchdown Jesus to playing in the shadows of Charlie Frye and Derek Anderson. And, like fans who believe in a bright future for this franchise, I don't believe in Frye or Anderson. And I'm a little skeptical of Jesus, too. Not his existence or omnipotence, but his ability to go through his progressions in a timely manner. I'd says he's a pretty good quarterback, but no team's saviour."

The Steelers have a new coach, Mike Tomlin, who's first order a business was putting his troops through a grueling training camp. His second order of business was keeping quarterback Ben Rothlisberger away from motorcycles.

"Ben wasn't even allowed to look at motorcycles," says Tomlin. "And communication with Robbie Knievil and Kellen Winslow was strictly prohibited. In addition, he wasn't allowed to see the movie 'Wild Hogs,' although, on second thought, allowing him to see the film may have sent the right message: some white guys just shouldn't be on motorcycles."

Frye was named the starter, so I guess Quinn will have to wait his turn, which may come in Week 7, or as soon as the second quarter. Roethlisberger throws two touchdown passes, and the Steelers brown and serve Cleveland. Pittsburgh wins, 27-14.

Tennessee @ Jacksonville

History will be made in Jacksonville on Sunday. When the Titans hit the field against the Jaguars, it will be the first time that two black quarterbacks have squared off against each other this year. Madden '08 cover boy Vince Young will face David Garrard, who's got the Jaguar starting job all to himself in the absence of Byron Leftwich, who was reassigned to AA Peoria to work on his delivery, which was much too slow and allowed too many easy stolen bases.

"No, Byron was just released," says Jacksonville's Jack Del Rio, who has the burden of carrying the title of coolest coach never to have won a Super Bowl. "He never quite figured out that in football, you have to pitch from the stretch. And he was just lazy. I don't know how many times we told him that our offensive linemen would not carry him down the field after long completions, but he just didn't get it. We'll be fine with Garrard."

The Titans went 8-8 last year, with Young getting the save in six of those wins, often in heroic fashion. Young may be asked to do even more this year, with the loss of leading rusher Travis Henry and red zone threat Drew Bennett, both free-agent casualties.

"Look, I'll do anything for this team," says Young, "including, but not limited to, slugging my own players, as long as I'm allowed to sleep in my own bed. Plus, if my Wonderlic test scores are mentioned, they must first be multiplied by the speed of light. I also demand a fresh du-rag and a washtub full of green Skittles in the locker room before every game."

Young's demands are met, and his attempts at offense are, too, with a Jacksonville defender. Garrard goes an efficient 13-of-17, and Maurice Jones-Drew rushes for a score. Leftwich throws two innings of no-hit relief in Peoria. The Jaguars win, 26-13.

Chicago @ San Diego

Could this be a preview of Super Bowl XLII? It very well may. In fact, noted French seer of the future/drug dealer Nostramadus predicted that very matchup in his 2007 preview, War, Famine, Death, and the NFL, published sometime in the 1500s. And when has Nostramadus ever been wrong?

"Never," says Lovie Smith, still a little upset that his No. 1 most trusted source for news, The Weekly World News, ceased publication in August. "The man is always right. But if we make it to the Super Bowl and still lose, we'll be very disappointed. Second-best is never good enough. Do you think K2 likes being the second-highest mountain in the world to Mount Everest? Do you think Kay Tu likes being the second-best Asian masseuse in the world to Hap Pe Yndyng? I doubt it. We're in it to win it. Ultimately, the key to our season boils down to finding an answer to one question: was there a 'hummer' involved when Lance Briggs wrecked his Lamborghini?"

The Chargers season ended on an even more frustrating note, losing at home in the divisional playoffs to New England. The loss was particularly painful for coach Marty Schottenheimer, was was fired despite a 14-2 regular season record. Now, Norv Turner takes over one of the most talented teams in the league, and knows that anything short of a Super Bowl win will likely be his downfall.

"Look, I don't appreciate working with an unstated ultimatum hanging over my head," says Turner. "If the front office wants me to outdo what Schottenheimer did, then just tell me. I can't guarantee a 15-1 or 16-0 regular season record. However, if I could, I could also guarantee and early playoff exit."

Do you think the Chargers will dare Rex Grossman to beat them? Or at least knock a few batteries off their shoulders? Expect both teams to play it close to the vest, with Nate Kaeding's field goal giving the Chargers a tough 20-17 win.

Detroit @ Oakland

What did the Lions get in the offseason? Well, they drafted Georgia Tech wide receiver Calvin Johnson, physically the most gifted player in the draft, and not too shabby mentally, as well, as he has yet to be charged with a DWI, or a gun violation, or running with a trigger-happy posse, or assaulting a Bengal in a casino, or dogfighting, or late fees at the library, for that matter. But he is young.

The Lions also added a boatload of confidence, too. Quarterback Jon Kitna promised that Detroit would win 10 or more games, while wideout Mike Furrey (pronounce "fury," as in "fit of rage," and not "furry," like a cuddly teddy bear) said the team should win "10 to 12 games, easily." Hey, you've got to admire the kind of confidence that is based solely on, well, nothing. The Lions were 3-13 last year, not good enough to predict a berth in the Super Bowl, but plenty darn good enough to allow President and CEO Matt Millen to keep his job, again.

Millen's Lions will face the team he was lucky enough to be on when they won Super Bowls XV and XVIII (back when slow, white linebackers could find work in the NFL). That would be the Oakland Raiders, led by owner Al Davis, who, never fail, always seems to emerge from his crypt at about this time of year. Davis came out in a pleasant mood, rejuvenated after a six-month sleep and humming the Scorpions' "Winds of Change." Gone is Art Shell, replaced by new coach Lane Kiffin, former USC offensive coordinator and son of cover 2 guru Monte Kiffin. Gone is Randy Moss, replaced by some unknown fourth-string wideout who'll produce comparable numbers to those Moss posted in two years as a Raider.

"Change is in the air," says Davis. "Can you smell it? No? Well, maybe you smell smoke, the byproduct of me lighting this cigar with a handful of flaming $100 bills. I can afford to do that, you know, but I can't afford to sign the No. 1 overall pick in the draft, JaMarcus Russell."

Russell remains unsigned, and free-agent pickup Dominic Rhodes, apparently not quite down from his Super Bowl high, is out four games for violating the league's drug policy. But the Raiders have a secret weapon. No, it's not Daunte Culpepper. It's their defense, which kept the team in games last year they eventually lost. Expect the Oakland defense to score a touchdown and give Millen a generally unwelcome homecoming. Oakland wins, 27-21.

Tampa Bay @ Seattle

Choosing a starter at quarterback was one of the toughest decisions Jon Gruden has ever been faced with. Almost as tough as deciding to call off that hit on Keyshawn Johnson five years ago, or turning down a cameo in Child's Play VII: I Know What You Did With Your Spleen Last Year. The Bucs signed Jeff Garcia to join Chris Simms and Bruce Gradkowski to battle for the job, and tried to get former Denver QB Jake Plummer to join the fray. Gruden finally chose his starter in late August while tooling around the Gulf of Mexico in his yacht, The Hot Seat.

"Ahoy, mateys," says Gruden. "Permission to come aboard, you little swabbeys. Garcia is our quarterback. It was a tough choice, but it came down to a matter of heart. Jeff's got a lot of heart, and he also possesses a full complement of his other organs."

Seattle is only two years removed from a Super Bowl appearance, and narrowly missed a berth in the NFC championship last year. The Seahawks remain the favorite in the NFC West, either the NFL's most balanced division, or it's most mediocre. Shaun Alexander is healthy, and quarterback Matt Hasselbeck gives the team veteran leadership.

"We're not ready to give up this division just yet," says Hasselbeck. "And why would we? We've won it with a 9-7 record, and it may take even less than that this year."

Alexander rushes for 122 yards and a touchdown, and the Seattle defense holds the Bucs to under 200 yards of offense. Seahawks win, 23-14.

N.Y. Giants @ Dallas

What does a "New York minute" cost? If you're Giants defensive end Michael Strahan, it runs you about $9.92. That's what a minute costs when you're being fined $14,288 for each day of training camp missed. Strahan finally reported to camp on September 3rd, but much to his chagrin, he wasn't even the top story at Camp Coughlin.

"That's right," says Eli Manning. "Michael's second page news as long as Tiki Barber is practicing his critical thought. How dare Tiki question my leadership? That's just not true. I can't tell you the number of times I've led the Conga line at team functions. Okay, I've never even heard of the song 'Leader of the Pack,' neither the Shangri-Las' version nor that of Twisted Sister, although I do tend to overdo the makeup on occasion. All this controversy is ridiculous, anyway. We're playing Dallas. Shouldn't the controversy involve Terrell Owens, or maybe a certain quarterbacks coach who was suspended five games for using human growth hormone?"

"Dad gummit!" says head coach Wade Phillips. "I knew I never should have hired Leon Lett as quarterbacks coach. What's that? You're telling me Wade Wilson is on HGH? I guess now you're going to tell me that Michael Irvin did cocaine before. Hogwash! But, let's keep the talk of controversial Dallas receivers at a minimum. I don't need T.O. thinking no one's talking about him. I've never been a coach to coddle star players. I won't tuck T.O. in at night, unless, of course, he asks me to. I guess some warm milk wouldn't hurt, either."

Owens has been mysteriously quiet in the offseason, so he's got to be ready for an explosion. Owens has a touchdown, and Julius Jones rushes for a score, and gives Bill Parcells a shout-out. Dallas wins, 30-20. Afterwards, Barbers leads a hated-players-only meeting, in which he is the only attendee.

Baltimore @ Cincinnati

With all the previous bad publicity, isn't it good to see a Bengal do something positive? That was the case in June when Cincy wide receiver Chad Johnson raced a quarterhorse named Restrore The Roar, with proceeds going to charity. Johnson quickly raced to a 100-meter lead, mostly because he was given a 100-meter head start, an easily won, just as he predicted, in the 1/8-mile race. Later, teammate and Roger Goodell conduct-casualty charter member Chris Henry tried to return the horse to the paddock, but was stopped short and charged with "H.W.I."

"I'll be going for two straight in my next race," says Johnson, "against former Breeder's Cup winner Ocho Pinto."

There's a new set of fresh legs in Baltimore. No, I'm not talking about some new hires at "The Night Shift," Baltimore's No. 1 bring-your-own-beer, all-nude strip joint. I'm talking about the arrival of Willis McGahee, acquired for three draft picks in a trade with Buffalo. McGahee brings youth to the Ravens rushing game, which had somewhat stagnated behind Jamal Lewis. McGahee was admittedly unhappy in Buffalo, but found pleasure as the only resident of the city who could bend his knee in the opposite direction.

"I'll fit right into the Ravens rushing attack," says McGahee, "and I just love bring-your-own-beer, all-nude strip joints. By the way, there are several employees who can bend their knees in the opposite direction."

The winner gets a leg up in the AFC North. The Ravens have defense, but is McGahee the boost their offense needs? The Bengals can score, but defense has never been a priority in Cincinnati. The Bengals defense pleads guilty to sucking, but Palmer and Johnson bail them out, setting the stage for Johnson's "Giddy-Up" touchdown celebration, in which he mounts a Paul Brown Stadium employee for a ride across the end zone. Cincinnati wins, 28-23.

Arizona @ San Francisco

It's the second game of a special Monday Night Football doubleheader, two up-and-coming NFC West teams battle in San Fran's Monster Park, a stadium allegedly on steroids. But what is the real story here? Is it the novelty of the first non-hurricane related MNF double-header? Is it the fact that such an early-season game could go a long way in determining the NFC West division crown? Or is the anticipation in seeing how the Mike Greenburg/Mike Golic, Mike and Mike in the Morning schtick fares on such a stage?

"Hey, this ain't the Arena Football League," says 49er coach and 11th best-dressed man in the world, Mike Nolan. "This is the big time. The 'Golic is the overeating jock, Greeny is the effeminate pansy' routine is great on radio and the 'Deuce,' but will MNF fans buy it? I don't know. I'll need to see them step up their game. Come on, Golic. Man up. Unless I hear the exchange 'Hey, Greeny. Yes, Golic. Are you gay?' then I'll be very disappointed. Thank goodness Mike Ditka will be in the booth with them to keep the focus on football."

Both of these teams are trendy picks to win the division, but the trendier pick may be the trusty "oh, they're one year away" pick. You could make a case for any team in the West to win the division; you could just as easily refute that statement. But no one would argue that both of these teams are improved.

"If you want to crown us," says Cardinal coach Ken Whisenhunt, "then crown our asses."

"We're just as good a pick as anyone," says Matt Leinart. "So why not us? We've already cliched home-field advantage for the Super Bowl, I've infiltrated the Manning family, and I'm no threat to win Father of the Year, so all of my focus will be on football. We are so money."

Leinart comes out throwing, tossing two scores, and the Cardinals win, 31-27.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:59 AM | Comments (0)

Mariners Sleepless in September

Mariner fans know this much: when it rains, it pours.

For nine straight dreary nights in the Pacific Northwest, the playoff hopes of the Ichiro-led ballclub are quickly drowning in the ocean while they dropped from two games ahead of the rival Yankees in the wildcard race to two games behind them. In the AL West, they managed to lose a whopping 6.5 games to the Angels in that same time. Officially, it's nine straight losses and 10 out of their last 11 that is putting a damper on their chances for a playoff birth. It would be the club's first since Ichiro's arrival year in 2001. That year, they missed the World Series, despite a record 116-win season, thanks to the team they chase now: the Yankees.

The streak came with very little warning. The Mariners had just won seven out of eight games and were poised to take a four-game road series in Texas until standout third baseman Adrian Beltre made two costly errors late that amounted to four runs and the difference in a 5-3 loss. The team managed 11 hits even without Ichiro in the lineup, but stranded 13 runners in scoring position. The same score of 5-3 showed up the next day in Texas, as well.

Soon, the Mariners were getting embarrassed at home in the big showdown against division-leading Anaheim, giving up 24 runs over three games to a team not known for offense. In the closest game of that series, the Mariners' Jeff Weaver managed to cough up an early 5-0 lead, and reliever Brandon Morrow allowed a four-run rally in the eighth inning after the Angels had already tied the game. Even young phenom Felix Hernandez was not immune to pennant pressure as he gave up 6 runs on 13 hits in the third game as the Angels completed the sweep and perhaps ended the AL West race.

It was the bullpen's turn to fail again in a makeup game to Cleveland, blowing a seventh-inning lead and losing the game on a bases loaded walk issued to Kenny Lofton from minor-league call-up reliever Rick White. In Toronto, the pitcher's mound and Blue Jay second baseman Aaron Hill combined to rob the Mariners of extra innings on the game's last play. Raul Ibanez appeared to tie the game with a grounder that ricocheted off the mound and into the glove of a diving Hill, who somehow managed to turn a 4-6-3 double play.

When they finally got a quality start, in this case from Miguel Batista, they couldn't score runs, and lost 2-1 on an eighth-inning RBI single by Troy Glaus. The next day, the status quo returned and Jeff Weaver gave up five more early runs en route to a 6-4 loss, thus completing their nine-game slide.

While the Mariner bats have remained hot throughout, it has been mainly their pitching that has cost them game after game, both starters and relievers cost them ballgames, and only once in the streak did they surrender less than five runs.

In a crucial showdown at Yankee Stadium, the Mariners finally ended their slide with a 7-1 victory as Felix Hernandez returned to form, dominating his pinstriped opponents. The next night, however, the Yankees teed off on Mariner pitching to the tune of 12 runs, capped by seven runs in the seventh inning, surely the Seattle bullpen's crowning achievement of this devastating stretch.

With one game left against New York, the M's hope veteran Jarrod Washburn can come through in the finale and take the series. Either way, it will be a tough road the rest of the way as their remaining schedule includes three games in Detroit, four games in Anaheim, and four more against Cleveland.

Over the past three years, one quality AL team has badly swooned their way through September and yet managed to recover and play well in October (see Chicago White Sox: 2005, Detroit Tigers: 2006), however, neither of those teams needed to take out the Yankees in order to make the postseason. This Mariner team has not dominated throughout and does not intimidate on paper. They have been admittedly a streaky team throughout the season, and they will need one of their better ones for their remaining games if they want to see October baseball for the first time in six years.

And if not, the dreaded choke word, absent throughout this column up until now, will readily be applied.

Posted by Bill Hazell at 11:48 AM | Comments (0)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 25

1. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson finally broke through and was victorious in his first race since Richmond in May. He now leads all drivers with five wins, and, should the Chase start now, Johnson would start with a 10-point lead over Jeff Gordon.

"It was great to come home to California," says Johnson, "and see all of the great fans of NASCAR in this great state. I just wish they would have been at the track."

2. Jeff Gordon — On lap 179, Gordon got loose and spun Jeremy Mayfield, who then clipped David Reutimann and Ricky Rudd. Gordon came to rest in the infield, and eventually finished 22nd. Gordon still holds a handy, if meaningless, 317 lead in the points.

"I've been spending so much time in the infield lately," says Gordon, "that I feel like I should be sitting atop a camper drinking myself into oblivion. But, luckily, it really doesn't matter to me. I've got such a huge points lead that I've really got nothing to race for. That's why I suggest a slight change in the Chase format when the points are reset. For every 100 increment that the leader holds in the points, he should be given 10 bonus points."

3. Carl Edwards — Pushing for his second-straight win, Edwards couldn't run down Johnson at California and had to settle for second place. What could have been Edwards' third win of the year instead was Johnson's fifth, meaning Johnson will likely start the Chase with a 10-point cushion.

"Two wins in a row and I would have been like Michael Waltrip," says Edwards. "On fire. Burn, baby, burn. Toyo inferno. Seriously, I'm just glad Michael made it out okay and will live to do more commercials and model silly footwear on Nextel Cup Live."

4. Tony Stewart — Stewart led a lackluster Joe Gibbs Racing effort, finishing 13 along with Denny Hamlin's 19th and J.J. Yeley's 29th. The biggest news out of the Gibbs' camp was the announcement that their cars would run Toyota engines in 2008.

"You know, I'm sick of these announcements that don't involve me," says Stewart. "First, there was the news that Kyle Busch would be joining the team. Then, I hear that we're dropping Chevy for Toyota. What's next? Is Joe Gibbs going to start coaching the Dallas Cowboys?"

5. Kurt Busch — Busch finished ninth in the Sharp AQUOS 500 in California, and moved up one spot in the points to tenth with a spot in the Chase all but clinched. He needs only to finish 36th or better at Richmond to ensure his spot.

"No problem," says Busch. "I could even pull that off with Stevi Wonder as my spotter."

6. Denny Hamlin — Hamlin finished 19th in California, one lap down, but his Chase ticket had already been punched. So, he's looking forward to the Chase, but not necessarily to next year, when he'll be the voice of reason among temperamental teammates Tony Stewart and Kyle Busch.

"With emphasis on the 'mental' part," says Hamlin. "I can see these two banging heads and me getting stuck in between. They'll make the Rusty Wallace/Ryan Newman relationship look like a love affair."

7. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth started 36th, but worked his way up to the second position by lap 23, making a sweep of the California races this season a distinct possibility. However, with track and air temperatures factoring into grip and tire wear, handling problems became a race-long issue. Constant adjustments allowed the No. 17 Roush Fenway Chevy to come home in seventh.

"It's nice to come away from California with a top-10 finish," says Kenseth, "but we were looking for something a bit more substantial — a tan."

8. Kyle Busch — The younger Busch outdid his older brother in California, finishing third for his sixth top-five finish of the year. Earlier in the week, Busch leaked the story of the Joe Gibbs move to Toyota.

"Look, my ears haven't been surgically altered," says Busch, "so I'm still blessed with the Busch family jackrabbit ears. I don't need to be told things; I hear them."

9. Martin Truex, Jr. — Truex scored his 10th top-10 of the year with a seventh in California. He now sits 10th in the points, and clinches his place in the Chase by simply starting Saturday in Richmond.

"I guess Dale, Jr. is on the outside looking in," says Truex. "But all hope is not lost. He's only 128 points behind Kevin Harvick in 12th place. Sure, he'll need Harvick to crash early, but I've noticed Dale getting chummy with Juan Pablo Montoya lately. If we see Harvick and Montoya shadow-boxing in Richmond on Saturday night, Dale could be in luck, assuming he wins the race."

10. (tie) Clint Bowyer/Kevin Harvick/Jeff Burton — Bowyer can clinch a spot in the Chase by just starting Saturday night in Richmond, while Harvick will have to work a bit harder to qualify for the 12-man field, needing a result of 32nd or better. Burton is in no matter what.

"I can finish 32nd in my sleep," says Harvick, "assuming Juan Pablo Montoya doesn't appear in my dream. I guess then it would become a nightmare. Then we could slug it out in a dream state, which would have the same result as our real fight — no one getting hurt."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:36 AM | Comments (0)

NFL All-Cut Team: Defense/Special Teams

Continued from NFL All-Cut Team: Offense

Hours. That's all that's left before kick-off tonight in Indianapolis.

A few thoughts before we get to the defense and special teams portions of the 2007 NFL All-Cut Team:

1. I'm in a fairly large suicide pool, and it seems a ton of people are going for either New England over the Jets or San Diego over Chicago.

As a huge Pats fan (and you know this about me by now), I would absolutely never pick them as the best bet this weekend. First, the Jets always play them tough. Always. Second, Richard Seymour is on the PUP list and Rodney Harrison is suspended. Those are two of the most important players on run defense. I was already worried about the Thomas Jones/Leon Washington combo. Without Seymour and Harrison, I'm at least five times as concerned.

And though the Pats have added several huge names in the offseason, this is game one of live fire. It would be foolish to expect everything to click off the bat. I still think they'll win (of course), but I wouldn't lay any money on them (especially not at -6).

As for San Diego, I love them as a team. And Rex Grossman playing against a fierce Chargers D sounds like a great proposition for Bolts fans. But betting all your marbles against the Bears defense is risky business. I just don't see any reason to do it if it's not necessary.

2. So who am I taking in the pool?

For the first time ever, the Houston Texans.

And it's not even so much the "revamped" offense with Matt Schaub and Ahman Green (although the Chiefs' loss of DE Jarred Allen to suspension can't be underestimated). I'm actually far more attracted to the Texans defense against a Chiefs offense that has looked positively terrible this preseason. If you believe Herm Edwards, Larry Johnson is going to be eased into action, giving a large percentage of the carries to Michael Bennett instead. And with Dwayne Bowe still trying to figure out what's going on, we're back to watching Eddie Kennison and Tony Gonzalez against double and triple coverage.

On the other hand — and I have no idea why I think this — this is the year the Texans defensive line makes its mark. With rookie Amobi Okoye joining Mario Williams, Travis Johnson, and Anthony Weaver/N.D. Kalu, there will be pressure. And with Damon Huard still looking a little hobbled with a bad calf (at least according to last night's episode of "Hard Knocks"), it'll be more like chasing Drew Bledsoe than Vince Young.

One stat that may come into play: Huard may have only thrown 1 pick last year, but he fumbled 9 times in 10 games, losing 5. If he gets sacked, there's a decent chance the ball is coming out.

3. You can never draw too much on the preseason. I'm sure watching "Hard Knocks" has biased me against the Chiefs more than I am against than, say, Arizona, who had equally as bad of a preseason.

You have to take that into consideration, even though there's nothing you can really do about it.

***

Okay, on to the All-Cut Defense and Special Teams. As I mentioned yesterday, these are the best of the worst, the guys who gave it their all, only to get word they had to go give it somewhere else.

As much as possible, I'm including only guys who haven't yet picked up with another team. So if a GM or pro personnel director happen to be reading this (because they have nothing better to do), give one of these guys a call. You never know.

Defense

DE: Kenard Lang (Denver), Renaldo Wynn (Washington)

Lang played 154 career games with Washington, Cleveland and Denver, with 50 career sacks. Wynn played 152 career games with Jacksonville and Washington, with 21.5 sacks.

Honorable mention: Bobby Hamilton (NY Jets), John Browning (Denver), Jorge Cordova (Miami), Ellis Wyms (Tampa Bay)

DT: Sam Rayburn (San Francisco), Joe Salave'a (Washington)

Only five years out of college, Rayburn was a key contributor on the 2004 Eagles team that made it all the way to the Super Bowl, recording 6 sacks that season. Salave'a played 100 career games with Tennessee, San Diego and Washington.

Honorable mention: DT Kendrick Allen (Cincinnati), DT Jimmy Kennedy (Denver), DT Orien Harris (Cleveland), DT Seth Payne (Jacksonville)

LB: Edgerton Hartwell (Cincinnati), Dhani Jones (New Orleans), Chad Brown (New England)

Hartwell is one of the most notorious ex-Ravens linebackers to escape the shadow of Ray Lewis, only to fall flat on his own. After playing all 16 games during each of his four years with Baltimore, recording a combined 331 tackles, 6 sacks, and an interception over his last three years, Hartwell played only 13 games combined over the past two years with Atlanta due to injuries. I thought he was a great get for Cincinnati, but apparently Marvin Lewis disagreed.

Jones has been a steady, if unspectacular (ie. not fast), contributor to the Giants and Eagles for seven seasons, missing just one game since the 2001 season. He has 446 career tackles, with no fewer than 70 in each of the past five years. Still only 29, I find it hard to believe he won't find a roster spot before the leaves start turning.

Brown gets the last starting spot over the other guys simply out of respect. With 79 sacks over 14 years, including a career-high 13 during the last season of his first stint in Pittsburgh (1996), Brown was once as feared a pass rushing linebacker as there was in the NFL. He was a three-time Pro Bowler ('96, '98, '99) and, though he probably won't make it, will at least garner some conversation in the Hall of Fame debate. That's a lot more than most of the guys on this list will ever be able to say.

Honorable mention: Colby Bockwoldt (San Francisco), Jamie Winborn (Tampa Bay), Nick Greisen (Jacksonville), Chris Claiborne (Jacksonville)

CB: Dexter McCleon (Houston), Jerametrius Butler (Washington)

In 11 seasons with St. Louis, Kansas City and Houston, McCleon played in 148 games, with 31 interceptions (including a high of 8 in 2000 with the Rams) and three forced fumbles. Butler had 149 tackles and 9 interceptions between 2003 and 2004 with St. Louis before injuring his knee.

Honorable mention: Sammy Davis (Tampa Bay)

S: Donovan Darius (Oakland), Omar Stoutmire (Washington)

Darius was only with Oakland for about a month, having spent all nine years of his career with Jacksonville. He was a mainstay on one of the best defenses of the past decade (in terms of prolonged success), making 376 tackles with 14 interceptions and forcing 5 fumbles. He also had one of the most vicious tackles I've ever seen, clotheslining Green Bay receiver Robert Ferguson in 2004.

Stoutmire played 133 games over 11 years with Dallas, both New York teams, Washington and New Orleans. He made 273 career tackles, with 7 interceptions, 5 sacks and 5 forced fumbles.

Honorable mention: Bhawoh Jue (San Diego), Nick Sorensen (Jacksonville), Reggie Lewis (Buffalo)

SPECIAL TEAMS

K: Dave Rayner (Green Bay)

Rayner lost his job to rookie Mason Crosby from Colorado, but he should be at the top of the list for teams who look for new kickers once the season begins. He has made 26-of-36 career attempts over the first two years out of Michigan State, including a long of 54, and made all of his kicks this preseason.

Honorable mention: Billy Cundiff (Atlanta), Josh Huston (NY Giants), Aaron Elling (Cincinnati), Connor Hughes (Pittsburgh)

P: Dirk Johnson (Philadelphia)

Johnson would still have a job if it hadn't been for Aussie sensation Sav Rocca. In four seasons as the Eagles punter, Johnson averaged a 41.6 yards per punt, with a net of 36. He was also a three-time Division II All American — twice as a defensive back — at Northern Colorado, which won the D-II National Championship his final two seasons.

Honorable mention: Scott Player (Arizona), Danny Baugher (New England), Josh Miller (New England)

KR: Mike Mason, Cleveland

Mason has sub-4.4 speed, but has a problem with getting arrested. In college, he returned 60 kickoffs for 1,521 yards — a 25.3 average — with a score between three years at North Carolina and one at Tennessee State, where he went after being booted out of UNC. The All-Cut Team does not care about morals.

Honorable mention: Bethel Johnson (Houston)

PR: Az-Zahir Hakim (Miami)

With Tedd Ginn, Jr. around, the Dolphins didn't need him, but "The Wizard of Az" was once a major threat as a punt returner — both to the other team if he caught it, to his own if he fumbled it (25 fumbles, 11 lost).

Still, the Rams' career all-time leader in punt returns, Hakim was also a very decent receiver, catching 316 passes for 4,191 yards, and running a bunch of reverses.

Honorable mention: Jeremy Bloom (Philadelphia), Kevin Kasper (Detroit), Tim Dwight (Jets), Clarence Moore (Baltimore)

Already picked up:

DT Kimo von Oelhoffen (Cut by NY Jets, signed by Philadelphia)
LB Jeremiah Trotter (Cut by Philadelphia, signed by Tampa Bay)
DE Quentin Moses (Cut by Oakland, signed by Arizona)
CB Aaron Glenn (Cut by Dallas, signed by Jacksonville)
S Marquand Manuel (Cut by Green Bay, signed by Carolina)
PR/KR Eddie Drummond (Cut by Detroit, signed by Kansas City)

Re-signed to team's practice squad:

S Raymond Ventrone (NY Jets)

Seth Doria is a freelance writer based out of St. Louis. For the only daily column that mixes sports, politics, and entertainment news in one, visit The Left Calf.

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 11:11 AM | Comments (0)

September 5, 2007

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 1 (Pt. 1)

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

New Orleans @ Indianapolis

The defense of the Colts Super Bowl win begins and ends with one person — Peyton Manning. Not one to rest on his laurels (unless his two butt cheeks are named "Laurel"), Manning's spent the offseason in a tireless pursuit of perfection. He worked on his timing (hosting "Saturday Night Live"), and his signal-calling (waving the green flag at the Indianapolis 500). Already known as a perfect technician, Manning even worked on his mechanics (tireless repetitions of the "wipe the windshield, elbow your brother, flick the booger" method). Manning is an inspiration to many; you can add to that list booger-pickers with aspirations of becoming NFL quarterbacks.

"Speaking of 'boogers,'" says Manning, "Anthony 'Booger' McFarland, who happens to be a 'nose' tackle, is out for the year. There goes our rush defense. But we're the Colts; we only need defense in the playoffs."

Manning and the Colts will host NFL nice-guy Drew Brees and the Saints to open the NFL's Kick-Off weekend. Like roster cuts at Bad News Kennels, the atmosphere will be electric. Country-pop babe Faith Hill, who's on my fantasy team, will perform (a song), while Indy native John Mellencamp will undoubtedly deliver a politically-charged performance while shilling for Chevrolet vehicles. Oh, and Kelly Clarkson and her trunk full of junk will be there to sing a song heretofore heard only by the 17 people who bought her latest album.

"Wow! What a lineup!" exclaims Reggie Bush. "Thank the lord I'll be in the locker room and won't hear a note. What real football fan gets pumped up by that before the opening game of the season, besides Bob Costas?"

The Colts jump out to an early 7-0 lead, but Saints coach Walter, I mean Gary, I mean Sean Payton has a game plan. That plan is to attack from Manning's left, where rookie tackle Tony Ugoh takes over for the retired Tarik Glenn. A few timely sacks keep the Saints in it, and a 26-23 Indy lead in the fourth sets the stage for a dramatic end. With time running down, Brees hits Bush for an 88-yard touchdown pass, and, as Bush coasts in to the end zone, he turns to taunt linebacker Rob Morris, in hot pursuit 40 yards upfield. Saints win, 30-26.

Atlanta @ Minnesota

What are the results of Michael Vick's plea of guilty in his dog-fighting trial that captured the attention of America all summer? For starters, a federal judge has marked Vick's territory for him — Vick will take the Gravy Train to a prison in December. And Joey Harrington, who hugs his stuffed poodle just a little tighter these days, is the Falcons' starter. Now, Harrington's jersey is worth just about as much as Vick's devalued No. 7, although neither commands the asking price of PETA's limited edition Vick jersey, with the XFL-inspired nameplate that reads "We Hate You" on the back.

"I know I've got big shoes to fill," says Harrington. "I know it will be a tough task. The ladies are always saying how small my feet are. I can only go out there and perform to the best of my ability, which eventually will lead to a backup role with another team, where I'll be thrust into a starting position due to unforeseen circumstances with the starting quarterback."

In Minnesota, optimism is ... well, it's a word you don't hear very often, unless you're referring to the players expectations for their next cruise on Lake Minnetonka. The Vikes return most of the pieces of last year's stellar defense, but the offense could again be a problem. The wide receiver corps is thin, and second-year quarterback Tavaris Jackson will have to learn on the job. Jackson has overcome adversity before; he survived a tough upbringing in Gary, Indiana surrounded by his weird Uncles Michael, Tito, Jermaine, Marlon, and Randy, and freaky Aunts Janet and LaToya.

"Nope. No relation to those Jackson's," says Jackson, who briefly experimented with wearing a glove on his throwing hand. "I come from the band of Jackson's from Montgomery, Alabama. Like the Gary Jackson's, the Montgomery Jackson's are fond of plastic surgery. However, they do it to only to hide their identity for legal reasons. Never for aesthetic reasons."

Chester Taylor and rookie Adrian Peterson combine for 124 yards and a score. Antoine Winfield returns a Harrington interception for a score. Vikes win, 23-14.

Carolina @ St. Louis

Expectations are high in Charlotte, but aren't they always? The Panthers feature two players, wide receiver Steve Smith and defensive end Julius Peppers, who arguably present the most difficult matchups for opposing defenses and offenses than any other stars in the league. But Panther supporters are also excited about the acquisition of backup quarterback David Carr, a name fans can yell on the 16 to 18 occasions per season in which Jake Delhomme's errant play begs for his benching. For the last three years, coach John Fox has interpreted shouts of "Put Chris Weinke in" to mean "Leave Delhomme in, at all costs."

"There hasn't been this much excitement about a 'Carr," explains Fox, "since Rae Carruth holed up in the trunk of one back in 2000. David brings mobility, something Delhomme sorely lacks, to the position. Jake has trouble escaping from sacks, including those of the wet paper variety as well as those administered by defensive players. Jake's never been hesitant about pulling the trigger on a pass; I won't be either on benching him."

Once again, the Rams will sport one of the NFL's most dynamic offenses, featuring Marc Bulger, Steven Jackson, and Torry Holt, and a defense that is specifically geared to keep that high octane offense on the field. Coach Scott Linehan, who has yet to enter the Edward Jones Dome complex without having to flash identification, knows that the defense must step up for the Rams to reach the playoffs.

"Heck, sometimes I have to take my shoes off before they let me in," says Linehan. "I must say though, that having the luxury of Bulger, Jackson, and Holt on offense makes my job fairly easy. I just wish Mike Martz would stop hacking in to my headset to call plays."

Give the Panthers the edge in defense, and give the Rams a bigger edge on offense. Bulger throws for 265 yards and two touchdowns, and the Rams win, 24-20.

Denver @ Buffalo

There is no quarterback controversy in Denver this year. Gone is Jake Plummer, doing in retirement exactly what he did in football ... nothing. Second-year QB Jay Cutler will be handed the reigns from the get-go. Cutler showed flashes of brilliance last year, but is he the next John Elway in Denver, or will he disappoint like quarterbacks of Denver's past, like Plummer, Craig Morton, and Norris Weese, to name a few?

"That's a good question," says Mike Shanahan. "One that I am not equipped to answer, and will require much investigation. But rest assured. Roc Hoover is on it."

Roc Hoover, you say? Isn't he the soap opera persona of square-jawed ESPN chatterbox and former Bronco offensive lineman Mark Schlereth, who now spies on the bedroom shenanigans that take place in the fictional city of Springfield on the CBS soap opera The Guiding Light?

"Yeah, that's him," says Buffalo's Dick Jauron, who's no private dick. "But we've got our own private investigator working surveillance for us. No, it's not Thomas Magnum, nor is it Magnum P.I. It's Simpson, O.J. We've got him looking for Nate Clements and Willis McGahee, but the Juice isn't taking any new cases until he solves his first and only case, a search for perpetrators he calls the 'real killers.' Apparently, the 'real killers' are on a crime spree that's taken them to golf courses up and down the California coast."

Denver will pound away at the Bills' defense with running back Travis Henry, running behind a line that's particularly adept at crippling defensive lines. Then, the Broncos will look for the deep ball to Javon Walker. Denver wins, 24-17.

Kansas City @ Houston

Longtime Chiefs quarterback Trent Green was traded in the offseason to the Dolphins, leaving Herman Edwards unsure of his starting QB for much of the summer. Training camp started with Damon Huard and Brody Croyle battling for the position, a position which will require delivering flawless handoffs to Larry Johnson about 600 times this year. In August, Edwards made a decision, the result of hours of film study, lengthy consultations with coaches, and a coin flip.

"Huard's the man," reported Edwards, who then lightly penciled the name 'Huard' on the depth chart.

"The fact that Croyle and Huard were battling for the position was the best bargaining chip I could have asked for in ending my holdout," says Johnson, who signed a six-year extension in late August. "I didn't even need a soulless agent with no measurable scruples to make this deal."

Optimism is high in Houston, with the arrivals of Ahman Green at running back and quarterback Matt Schaub from Atlanta. Green is expected to boost the Texans running game, while former Falcon Schaub is being handed the reigns of the QB position, vacated when David Carr was traded to Carolina.

"Look, I'm no David Carr," says Schaub. "Otherwise, I wouldn't have this job. Nor am I Michael Vick. Otherwise, I would have a new one torn by the feds. In fact, I'm the total opposite of Vick. I'm right-handed, I'm a traditional pocket passer, I'm not much on scrambling, and I actually love dogs. Sometimes a little too much. But that's a problem I'm working out through therapy and hypnosis."

Johnson's legs should be well-rested, despite a contract-celebration party that left him weak in the knees. It's light duty for L.J., as he gets the ball only 30 times. A late touchdown pass from Schaub to Andre Johnson gives the Texans a 24-17 win.

Miami @ Washington

Former Kansas City quarterback Trent Green is now in Miami, a fact that he needs to be reminded of several times a day. The last Green can remember, he was traipsing down the sideline in Kansas City last year when he was trucked by a Cincinnati Bengal, who was, oddly enough, stone-cold sober.

"A sober Bengal?" says Green. "Man, I must have been asleep for a long time. What's a Bengals player doing sober? Usually, you can give a Bengals player a six-pack, his car keys, and a George Thorogood album, and he'll end up in lockup. But that's irrelevant. I'm here in Miami to be the quarterback and enjoy the soft turf in Pro Player Stadium. I'm looking forward to playing for Coach Saban."

Sorry, Trent. Nick Saban bolted for Alabama, leaving Cam Cameron, affectionately known to his players as Cam², at the helm. The 'Fins finished 9-7 last year, including wins over the Bears and the Patriots, despite an unsettled quarterback situation.

"Hey, let's not jump to conclusions," says Cameron. "This team had two quarterbacks last year, Daunte Culpepper and Joey Harrington, who are starting for new teams this year. So, there was talent here, but not stability. Trent gives us that stability, as long as he's standing upright."

In Washington, Joe Gibbs is in year four of the project to return the Redskins to Super Bowl glory, or any kind of glory, for that matter. The 'Skins finished 5-11 last year after making it to the divisional playoff round in 2006.

"I know a lot is expected of me, in NASCAR racing and in football," says Gibbs, who's like a father to his sons when he sees them. "I expect a lot out of myself as well. Football is my first love. When I'm on the field, I'm like a kid in a candy store. Sadly, though, like many kids in candy stores, I am often creeped out by a nerdy guy in a suit and tie hovering around the field. He makes me very uncomfortable."

Reigning NFL defensive MVP Jason Taylor, still reluctant to join the Shawne Merriman fan club, will create problems for Jason Campbell, but in a low-scoring affair, all it takes is one bomb to Santana Moss. Redskins free safety Sean Taylor, with first-round pick LaRon Landry by his side, is left free to do what he does best: ignore coverage and go headhunting. Taylor rocks Ronnie Brown on a blitz, leading to a key fumble. Washington wins, 19-15.

New England @ N.Y. Jets

Not since Paul Revere warned of the imminent arrival of the Red coats has there been so much chatter about the arrival of a foreigner in the New England area. Randy Moss is now a Patriot, traded from a Raiders organization where he put the "funk" in dysfunctional. Whereas the British were thumped and sent packing by the rebels, Moss has been welcomed with open arms. He has yet to have a street named after him, but a section in the east side of Foxborough, near the pawn shop, has been dubbed "Foxbro" in Moss' honor.

"What's the effect of Randy Moss in New England?" asks Moss. "I'll tell you. Expectations, afros, malt liquor consumption, and the crime rate just went up. I can't wait to play and/or double-date with Tom Brady. He's a true player. He's got more rings than Saturn and a super model girlfriend. I can't relate to any of that, but he did just have a child out of wedlock. Hey, what do Bridget Moynahan and Randy Moss have in common? Brady's sent both of us on a 'go' route."

The Jets look to be the only team that can remotely challenge the Patriots in the AFC East, and have an unlikely ally in Bridget Moynahan, the mother of Tom Brady's baby, pulling for them. Moynahan named her son "John Edward Thomas" Moynahan, his initials spelling "JET," an obvious dig at Brady.

"You know, I like her style and subtlety," says Jets head coach Eric "The Ice" Mangini. "Bridget was wise to take the high road and pass on her first choice for the child's name: 'Alan Samuel Steve Heath Oliver Lance Enos' Moynahan. That would have been way too obvious."

It figures to be a three-team race in the AFC East. That is, three teams playing for second behind the Pats. Sure, the Jets traded for running back Thomas Jones, but the Patriots are tough up front, and prized free agent acquisition Adalius Thomas will give Chad Pennington nightmares. Brady picks apart the Jets secondary with precise tight spirals, while Asante Samuel picks off a Pennington wet noodle. New England wins, 30-19.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:59 AM | Comments (2)

Showtime at the U.S. Open!

Has this U.S. Open been spectacular enough for everyone?

We have already had several five-set thrillers on the men's side. We have seen some young guns making noise in the first week. We have witnessed (and still witnessing) some older guys raising eyebrows. We have seen Justine Henin come out on top of another clash with Serena Williams. We have laughed watching the hilarious American Express commercial featuring John McEnroe with the 1985 U.S. Open umpire who says the former player's name with such bitterness that even though they aired the commercial over a hundred times, it's worth seeing it again just to see the umpire's disgusted face and hear him spit out "McEnroe."

Yet, it seems that we are just getting started with the show. One look at both draws and you can't help but get excited about some of the upcoming matches and some of the possible semifinals and finals matches.

At the time of the article, Justine Henin is the only one in the semifinals. She will play the winner of Jelena Jankovic vs. Venus Williams. Unless it takes place at Wimbledon or U.S. Open, it would be a pick. But at the U.S. Open, the edge goes to Venus. Again, many will root for Venus not necessarily because they want to see her beat Jankovic, but rather for the potential thrill of seeing Henin and Venus step on the Arthur Ashe stadium. My pick: Venus Williams defeats Jelena Jankovic.

At the bottom of the draw, the only player with any "big-time" experience is the 2004 U.S. Open winner Svetlana Kuznetsova. She is facing a virtual unknown for most casual tennis fans, the Hungarian Agnes Szavay. Those of us who follow the game closely will know that the 18-year old Szavay is one of the fastest rising stars in the WTA arena. What started as a year during which Szavay was having to play qualifying rounds to get into tournaments, has turned into a season in which Szavay won her first title, and just reached the finals of New Haven tournament prior to the U.S. Open.

I am not praising Szavay just because of her results. I have watched Szavay live in Palermo on her way to winning her first title, and I can tell you that she has one of the best down-the-line backhands on the tour. Despite Kuznetsova's direct win over Szavay 10 days ago in new Haven finals, I will use my upset pick here and predict Szavay to get her revenge against Kuznetsova.

Last quarterfinal match is between Anna Chakvetadze and Shahar Peer. Your pick is as good as mine. Chakvetadze is more athletic, Peer is a more fierce fighter. Barring any emotional crisis, my pick is Chakvetadze

On the men's side, I dare anyone to pick Andy Roddick against Roger Federer. While Roddick seems to have the better serve, somehow Federer ends up with more aces when they play, and Federer seems to pick Roddick's serve so well that he magically appears ready to return it no matter where in the service box Roddick places his big boom. Why am I focusing so much on the serve for analysis? As one commercial would say, for everything else, there is Federer! If Roddick cannot profit from his serve, expect Federer to win his 10th in a row against Roddick.

The hardest match to pick is the encounter between Nikolay Davydenko and Tommy Haas. They only played three times, surprisingly all of them in Slams. The two most recent ones went five sets. The 2006 U.S. Open clash went to Davydenko, the 2007 Australian Open thriller went to Haas. They have similar game plans, they are both having a good season, and they will both fight until the bitter end. Tommy Haas is the veteran, three years older than Davydenko at 29. Only because he had already had tough five-set matches against Sebastien Grosjean and James Blake, I am going to pick Davydenko, especially if the match goes to the distance.

The "under-the-radar" award of the tournament must go to Carlos Moya. I realize that some of you will point out Juan Ignacio Chela. Chela is indeed the bigger surprise, but for someone who has won two Slams, who has experienced several top-10 finishes over the years and who is having another fine season, Carlos Moya seems to attract the attention of nobody except his quarterfinal opponent, Novak Djokovic. Did I mention that Moya already beat Djokovic twice this year? I know Djokovic is now considered the only worthy opponent against the top two heavyweights in the ATP tour. Nevertheless, I am using my upset pick on the men's side right here: Carlos Moya over Novak Djokovic.

Get ready for another baseline duel between David Ferrer and Juan Ignacio Chela. Who would have guessed that one of these two players would be in the semis? Just when you thought nothing could top the thrilling matches on the men's side until Tuesday, Ferrer came through against Nadal with the most impressive baseline display of this year's U.S. Open. He basically ran the best counterpuncher in the game off the court.

The question of the day in this quarterfinal match is how much mileage do these guys have left in them. They both have had exhausting wins. Furthermore, will whoever wins have any gas left in the tank for the semis? I am expecting a let-down from Ferrer. My pick is Chela, especially if he wins the first set. I am sure the tournament organizers would prefer Ferrer, who has won many fans with his soldier-like effort against Nadal.

Let's hear your thoughts and predictions in the comments section below. I am ready to take it on the chin on my erroneous picks, and I will post my picks later for the next rounds, as well as respond to your comments. Of course, you could choose to "walk the walk" and post your picks along with mine. On with the show!

Posted by Mert Ertunga at 11:56 AM | Comments (4)

NFL All-Cut Team: Offense

The 2007 NFL preseason is over. Teams are down to 53 active players, give or take an exemption or two. It's just a day until the Indianapolis Colts officially kick off their quest for a repeat at home against the New Orleans Saints. Fantasy drafts are done and lineups set.

But before we dive full on into the future, let's take a few minutes to remember those who were left behind, those who gave their all in camps, who sweat and bled with the stars, but, in the end, just didn't have enough to stick.

This is the first annual NFL All-Cut Team, made up entirely of players whose dreams of NFL stardom have taken a blow over the past week. Some have had long NFL careers and are trying to hang on for just one or two more years/paychecks. Others are bound for practice squads, and still hold out hope for future stardom.

We wish these fallen comrades well in their quest for resurrection, and we honor their contributions.

As much as possible, only those players who have not yet caught on with another team are included. But with the pace of NFL transactions, there are bound to be a few who slip by.

Today, the offense. Tomorrow, the defense and special teams.

QB: Byron Leftwich, Jacksonville

NFL cut-down day always throws a few surprises, but few as shocking as the Jaguars jettisoning starting QB Byron Leftwich. It won't have a huge negative impact on the Jags this year — I actually think David Garrard has just as good or better chance of success — but the way the situation was handled is a terrible move in terms of creating a trust within a franchise. Don't think other players, both within and outside the organization, will overlook the shoddy treatment of the guy who was supposed to be the face of the franchise.

As for Leftwich's future, who knows? Kansas City popped out as the most likely destination, but passed. Atlanta has spent so much energy propping up Joey Harrington, I'm not sure they can bring in Leftwich without seriously undermining Harrington's confidence. Detroit could certainly use a QB, but the Mike Martz offense isn't one you pickup quickly. Minnesota and Washington have young guys making the jump and unsteady backups, and Baltimore has already been rumored to have made contact (which would bring up the question of whether they would cut Kyle Boller or Troy Smith).

Honorable mention: Tim Rattay (Tennessee), Ken Dorsey (Cleveland; Personally, I would have kept Dorsey and cut/traded Derek Anderson), David Green (Seattle; Former Georgia star should give the Falcons a call), Vinny Testaverde (New England; he'll be back), Drew Henson (Minnesota; biggest two-sport bust ever)

RB: Wali Lundy, Houston

The second-year back from Virginia gets the nod over others with more career production (Verron Haynes, Kevan Barlow) due to his remaining potential for stardom. In back-to-back weeks last year against Jacksonville and Tennessee, Lundy totaled 209 yards rushing on 37 carries (5.64 yards per rush), with an additional 9 receptions for 48 yards.

Honorable mention: Haynes (Pittsburgh), Barlow (Pittsburgh), Eric Shelton (Carolina), Justin Vincent (Atlanta), DeDe Dorsey (Indianapolis)

FB: Zack Crockett, Oakland

One of the most prolific goal-line touchdown machines in recent history (and a tormenter of fantasy owners with Tyrone Wheatley), Crockett scored 21 touchdowns between 2000 and 2003 — on only 188 combined attempts.

Honorable mention: Cory Schlesinger (Miami), Patrick Pass (Houston)

WR: Keenan McCardell, Houston; Todd Pinkston, Washington

In 16 seasons, McCardell caught 861 passes for 11,117 yards and 62 touchdowns. He had 7 seasons of 70+ catches, including 94 and 93 in back-to-back years with the Jaguars in 2000-2001. I am 100 percent convinced he can contribute this year, and teams with weak/unproven WR corps (Atlanta, Tennessee and Oakland come to mind) would be crazy not to at least give him a look.

Pinkston posted 184 career receptions between 2000 and 2004 before rupturing his achilles prior to the 2005 season and being out of football in 2006. In 2002 with Philly, he caught 60 passes for nearly 800 yards, 7 TDs, and a remarkable 40 first downs.

Honorable mention: Alvis Whitted (Oakland), Frisman Jackson (NY Jets), Courtney Roby (Tennessee), Reche Caldwell (New England), Taye Biddle (Cut by Carolina, signed by Tampa, cut by Tampa)

TE: Jermaine Wiggins, Jacksonville

Wiggins has 236 career receptions and 14 touchdowns over six years with the Jets, New England, Indianapolis, Carolina, and Minnesota, including 146 receptions over the last three years with the Vikings.

OT: Rob Pettiti, New Orleans; Ryan Tucker, Cleveland

Pettiti started all 16 games for the Cowboys in 2005. On the one hand, Dallas gave up a league-high 50 sacks that year and only averaged 3.5 yards per carry on the season. On the other hand, Drew Bledsoe was the quarterback. Draw your own conclusions.

As for Tucker, he's been a stalwart for a bad Browns franchise since 2002. He's started all 93 games in which he's appeared since 2000, his second-to-last year with St. Louis. He was suspended for the first four games of this season for violating the league's substance abuse policy, but there is absolutely no doubt he plays in the NFL this year.

Honorable mention: Kenyatta Walker (Carolina)

OG: Tuten Reyes, Jacksonville; Keydrick Vincent, Baltimore

Reyes started all 16 games for Carolina in 2005, then the first six in Buffalo last year before mysteriously finding the pine for the rest of the year (I haven't been able to find any record of an injury or confirm rumors that it was an attitude benching).

Vincent has played in 59 career games, with 48 starts for Pittsburgh and Baltimore.

Honorable mention: Zach Piller (NY Giants), Mike Jones (San Diego)

C: Chukky Okobi, Pittsburgh

After six years as a reserve, Okobi was finally going to get his turn as the starting center for the Steelers, taking over for Jeff Hartings. But then Sean Mahan, a free agent from Tampa, beat him out and the Steelers decided $2 million was a bit much for a backup center. Life in the NFL. It's a bitch sometimes.

Honorable mention: Donovan Raiola (Pittsburgh)

Already picked up:

RB Antonio Pittman (Cut by New Orleans, signed by St. Louis)
TE Garrett Mills (Cut by New England, signed by Minnesota)
FB/RB Kyle Eckel (Cut by Miami, signed to New England practice squad)

Re-signed to team's practice squad:

WR Bam Childress (New England)
RB Kenneth Darby (Tampa Bay)
QB Jared Zabransky (Houston)
TE Ben Patrick (Arizona)
WR Bobby Sippio (Kansas City)

Seth Doria is a freelance writer based out of St. Louis. For the only daily column that mixes sports, politics, and entertainment news in one, visit The Left Calf.

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 11:02 AM | Comments (0)

September 4, 2007

Waking Up the NFL Sleepers

Every year, despite predictions and logic, at least one NFL team seems to make a startling jump. St. Louis, 1999; Baltimore, 2000; Seattle, 2005; Chicago, 2005; and last year's Cinderella, New Orleans. And the key too all of these teams? Pretty much nobody saw any of them breaking out — in fact, you could saw we were all sleeping on them.

For me, there are two basic types of sleepers: teams from the middle rising up to elite status and teams from the league's dregs climbing way up somewhere between heartwarmingly competitive and "CBS/FOX research staffs better look up the last time that city won a championship." And while it's true not many fans get excited just to see their 6-8 team hanging on as the last entry when the TV announcers show the playoff picture late in the season, in some NFL cities just feeling the breeze of the playoffs somewhere off in the distance counts as a major breakthrough.

With that in mind, I've used the process of elimination to determine who this year's sleeper(s) will be. I've used these ironclad criteria for picking the 2007 pigskin Cinderella:

1. True sleepers underperformed last year, either posting a bad record or achieving poorer results than expected. Wake up: New England, New York Jets, Baltimore, Indianapolis, San Diego, Denver, Dallas, Chicago, New Orleans, Seattle, Philadelphia, and New York Giants.

This list should look very familiar. These are the 2006 season's playoff teams, save Denver replacing Kansas City. Sorry to rehash this, Bronco fans (actually I'm not; consider this about .005% of my personal payback for 1986, 1987, and 1989), but it still boggles my mind that Denver lost at home to San Francisco in Week 17, giving the Chiefs Denver's annual spot as Peyton Manning's sacrificial lamb in the wildcard round. Given the more positive outlook and recent history of the Broncos, we'll just pretend the Colts drove over a blue and orange speed bump on the way to the Super Bowl rather than red and gold (although the way Peyton played in that game, let's call it a gentle idling).

Other cases could be made to include Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, or Jacksonville, and maybe even to exclude the Giants. The three AFC teams can hit the snooze button at this stage because a successful trip to the Super Bowl would be a pretty significant upgrade over missing the playoffs last season. Yes, recent history past last year matters, but we'll get to that later.

The Giants were the team that I was most hesitant to eliminate at this point. After all, they did post a dominating 8-8 record in a weak NFC and seemed determined to implode their season at every possible turning point. But this is a roster with tons of name-brand talent. And don't forget that not a soul will be willing to credit Eli Manning with any further success this year. If a playoff team from the previous season improves the next year and is met with "it's about time," assume that they're not a sleeper.

2. True sleepers have to pass the Madden Alternate Universe Test. Wake up: Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Jacksonville, and Carolina.

Have you ever been playing through about three or four seasons of a Madden franchise, only to see the same team posting a 14-2 record and get at least to the conference title game every year? (This also goes for Madden's NCAA counterpart, where I've seen Fresno State run off back-to-back national titles) I always seem to run into this, but many times, it is a team that you would never in this universe believe could be that dominant. This is the Madden Alternate Universe Test.

If I told you the Bengals would dominate the AFC for the next 3–5 years, would you blink? Obviously, nobody dominates football today the way the Cowboys and 49ers did in the 1990s or Pittsburgh did in the 1970s. But if Marvin Lewis uncovered a few unforeseen defensive playmakers (and a stash of Get-Out-of-Jail-Free cards), this would be possible, right? The same goes for the Steelers, Jags, and Panthers. If you plowed through a few seasons of Madden and saw repeat championships from any of those franchises, you could believe that happened in the same universe that we live in now. To be a sleeper, this kind of make-believe dominance has to be considered only possible in an alternate reality.

3. True sleepers need to still have their sleeper virginity or something close to it. Wake up: Arizona and Detroit.

"Arizona's primed for a big year with a cache of offensive talent and relatively weak division." "The Lions have a ton of young talent at wide receiver and a mix of vets and developing playmakers at key positions." If you can't remember if you read quotes like these about a team since the last presidential election, then that team can't be a sleeper. Sorry, Peter King, but you don't get credit if Detroit makes a run this year, as you've picked Detroit since seemingly before your beloved Starbucks was born.

4. True sleepers don't have quarterback-dog issues to deal with. Wake up: Atlanta.

I don't mean to get preachy here, but when your projected starting QB pleads to killing dogs and your replacement starting QB has been a dog, your 7–9 team isn't making any sort of leap to elite status. Maybe that's just me.

That leaves us with 13 possible sleepers. It's far easier for the lowly teams to become marginally above mediocre than it is for the middling to become stellar. So let's try to weed out some of the middle of the pack who would have to challenge for conference titles to be considered sleepers.

5. True sleepers trying to move from the two-story colonial to the nine-bathroom mansion need to have held their current real estate for a while. Wake up: Tennessee and San Francisco.

Call this the Seattle model. Here are the Seahawks' records from 2001 through 2004, the year before they went to the Super Bowl: 9-7, 7-9, 10-6, and 9-7. Granted, the last two resulted in playoff appearances (both losses), but Seattle owned mediocrity during that span. Then, presto, in 2005, they won 13 games and held serve as the NFC's top team. On a side note, it's also worth reminiscing that the Seahawks were in the AFC West through 2001. It's hard to imagine Seattle gaining steam as steadily as they did while swimming in the same pool as Denver, L.T., and the Dick Vermeil Chiefs.

Anyway, sorry to the Titans and 49ers, but the road to the top is paved with gradual improvement or supernatural fortune (such as Reggie Bush falling from the sky) — there is no in-between. My second example to back this up is the tragic, personal tale of the 2001/2002 Browns. Tabbed by many, including the all-knowing John Madden, no less, as a sleeper, the Browns peaked by posting 7-9 in 2001 and 9-7 in 2002 (including a playoff berth despite being basically the ninth best team in the AFC, which led to Kelly Holcomb's 400+ yards and Dennis Northcutt's drop, and ... sorry). And after that? Well, let's just say the Browns have added three top-six picks in the interim. The moral of the story: Tennessee and San Francisco aren't going to improve on 2006 by more than a game or two. That's not what a sleeper does.

6. True sleepers rise up to fill power vacuums, and there aren't any Tuscan villas or country club memberships for sale in the AFC. Wake up: Miami, Buffalo, and Kansas City.

In case hours of TV, yards of print, and terabytes of electronic publication haven't gotten the point across, the AFC is a tad better than the NFC right now. So for any of the remaining mediocre AFC teams to improve enough to deserve sleeperdom, they would have to join the ranks of Indy, San Diego, and New England (and possibly Baltimore/Cincy/Pittsburgh) as viable dozen-win teams. Feel like rolling the dice on that outcome?

Similarly, nature abhors a vacuum, and right now, the NFC is sucking very hard. Just ask the 2005, three-win New Orleans Saints. Therefore, if anyone is going to jump up to be a Super Bowl contender from out of the blue, it has to be in the NFC.

7. True sleepers reflect the fact that turnovers are the most over-looked, under-appreciated stat in the game. Wake up: St. Louis and Minnesota.

Want an easy way to turn the standings upside down, potential sleeper? Stop ending your own possessions by giving the ball away and start ending the other guys' by taking it away. Now last year's biggest sleeper, New Orleans, was hardly the king of turnover margin, coming in at –2. So why do I bring this up? Because it's a heck of an improvement over their 2005 turnover margin of –21. Adding Drew Brees and Reggie Bush is helpful; shifting 19 possessions 180 degrees in your favor is season-altering. The 2005 Bears, who turned the previous year's 5-11 into 11-5? They swung turnover margin from –8 to +6 during that span.

So, okay, better turnover margin means more wins. And if we know a team's change in turnovers, we can figure out if they reached the lofts of late January. Of course, at the point of the season where we know a team's turnover margin, hello, we also know its win-loss record, which I think is the best predictor of improvement in wins.

So how can we predict change in turnover margin? Well, I'll leave to the tea-leaf readers to try to guess how rookie quarterbacks and newly-formed 3-4 defenses will affect turnovers. I'm happy to settle for some simple answers from common sense. Specifically, teams already near the top of the league in turnover margin probably aren't going to make leaps even further forward (that would be you, St. Louis at +12 and Minnesota at +6). To give some perspective, last year's leader was Baltimore at +15.

That leaves us with six teams, three in each conference: Cleveland, Oakland, Houston, Washington, Tampa Bay, and Green Bay. For the first five of those teams, it's hard to imagine 2007 being worse than 2006. In fact, those five teams all earned top-eight draft picks last year (and it could have been top-seven had Houston not lost out on tiebreakers). So they're all going to achieve at least as much, as little as it was, as last year. The question is which will achieve way more than last year.

In looking at the sleepers of the past decade or so, it becomes evident that in none of those cases did the addition of one individual completely shift the team's performance. For every Drew Brees that lifts a New Orleans team, there's a Trent Dilfer who certainly didn't earn a Canton reservation. Ditto that for head coaches: Lovie Smith certainly turned around the Bears, but what about Mike Holmgren, who was on the verge of being fired in Seattle? However, in all of the cases, one of the team's units showed a dominant level of performance. Baltimore and Chicago rode brutally stingy defenses deep into the winter. St. Louis, New Orleans, and (to some extent) Seattle put points on the board better than most.

So what does that have to do with our remaining six sleeper candidates? How about rule No. 8:

8. True sleepers can lean on the dominant performance on one side of the ball. Wake up: Cleveland, Oakland, Washington, and Tampa Bay.

Admittedly, this is the most subjective of the sleeper rules. But looking at these teams, it's pretty evident to anyone who watched the NFL last year and followed the ensuing offseason that Cleveland and Oakland's offenses and defenses won't be approaching dominance anytime soon. Tampa Bay and Washington make stronger cases, but the Bucs' D and Washington's O are both old. Jeff Garcia gives Jon Gruden a viable signal caller, but who will he light-up the scoreboard with? And the Redskins' defense has shouldered quite a load of late, but do you think they'd like to have Champ Bailey back? Sorry, no breakouts here.

So that leaves us with two Cinderellas: Green Bay and Houston. The Texans make sense in some ways. Remember the importance of turnovers? Well, Houston was -5 last year, which ranked 13th in the AFC. If they can jump up to the break-even point, that would help a bunch. They've also added an experienced back in Ahman Green to an offense that quietly ran pretty well with former hobbit Samkon Gado and the Ron Dayne Trayne. And if Matt Schaub realizes the potential he showed as a backup, it's not unrealistic to see nine wins for Houston.

But what about Green Bay? Well the Pack was also -5 in turnovers. And they have young weapons (yeah, that's a stretch) on offense in Brandon Jackson and Greg Jennings. But let's not kid ourselves. Nobody has more control over this team than Brett Favre. When Favre is on, he's one of the game's all-time legends. And even in his advanced age, Favre has had high points. In fact, 2004 may have been his best season. But the most glaring factor in turning around that turnover margin is Favre's decision-making. Favre has to cut about five picks off of his 2006 total of 18 (which was the exact number of TDs he threw, too). So tell me if this sounds familiar, Cheeseheads: in 2007, where Brett Favre goes, the Packers go. That shouldn't make anybody sleep easy in Green Bay.

So the final verdict? Consider this a medium-high endorsement of Houston and puzzled, lukewarm nod to Green Bay maybe making a jump. But truthfully, none of these teams looks like a lock to reverse its fortunes drastically. And you know what? That's exactly what we love about this league. Somebody we've mostly written off will have a legit shot. Happy Opening Weekend, everybody.

Posted by Corrie Trouw at 11:44 AM | Comments (0)

2007 NFL Preview: San Francisco 49ers

Looking At 2006 In The Rear View Mirror

The San Francisco 49ers weren't exactly a sleeper team headed into last season, but they did win over a number of fans down the stretch of the season.

After 1 touchdown pass and 11 interceptions in his rookie season, there were all sorts of trepidations surrounding quarterback Alex Smith's future as a franchise starter. But Smith bounced back in a big way, mostly because of the addition of Norv Turner at offensive coordinator. Turner, an offensive guru and quarterback wizard, got Smith's touchdown-interception ratio back to even (16/16).

Smith was greatly aided by the breakout season from Frank Gore, who set a franchise-record with 1,695 rushing yards.

The 49ers' offense was fairly one-dimensional as the wide receivers were far too inconsistent. The best of the bunch might have been Antonio Bryant, who was the big-play threat, but was very in-and-out. Arnaz Battle, who is a good blocker and has good hands, was far more consistent, but he doesn't have big-play potential. Tight end Vernon Davis was supposed to bring that to the table, but was limited to 10 games and 20 catches.

The 49ers deserve credit for building their team properly. They were mocked for signing Jonas Jennings and Larry Allen, but unlike teams like the Houston Texans, they are rebuilding their team from the inside out. They are clearly headed in the right direction.

On defense, the 49ers weren't bad. But they weren't exactly good, either. Cornerback Walt Harris had a career-year out of the blue. The 33-year-old deservedly earned a Pro Bowl berth. Other quality prospects on defense included linebacker Brandon Moore, who led the team in tackles. Rookie Manny Lawson was a good pass rusher, but lacked in run defense.

The 49ers' defensive line was still a weakness with no real nose tackle and stalwart end Bryant Young older growing in age.

But as a whole, while the parts didn't look great and the total ranking didn't impress, the 49ers still played better than their rosters looked on paper.

Are They A Sleeper?

I'm here to break everyone's hearts and tell you that the 49ers won't be making the playoffs. If you have them tabbed as the apple of your eye, as that one NFL team that comes out of nowhere, it won't be the 49ers.

For starters, they lost offensive coordinator Norv Turner, who was instrumental in the growth of the offense last year. That's not to say that Smith and Gore won't continue to improve, but they would have been better off had Turner stayed.

The 49ers added some weapons for Smith to work with, but they aren't exactly top-of-the-line guys.

Ashley Lelie is a one-dimensional threat as a go-route threat, but doesn't catch any passes where he might take a hit. Darrell Jackson was acquired in a trade from Seattle, but he had trouble staying healthy the last two seasons and dropped more easy catches than you might think. Jackson gives the offense a legitimate 1,000-yard threat and a good target for Smith, but he's never reached 1,200 yards receiving and doesn't exactly give any cornerbacks nightmares.

The real difference-maker in the passing game has to be Vernon Davis, who is a freak athlete and is coming off a good offseason. While his measurables are outstanding, he needs to develop into what everyone thinks he can be.

The 49ers defense will be better because of the additions Nate Clements and Patrick Willis, but temper expectations for safety Michael Lewis. The former Eagle was benched last year and although he adds a physical presence, he'll get burned in coverage quite a bit.

There are some concerns in the secondary outside of Lewis, though. Clements will start opposite of Harris, who is 33-years-old. It's doubtful he'll duplicate his performance from last season. Shawntae Spencer is a good nickelback, but safety Mark Roman is average at best.

The biggest concern for this defense is the three men up front.

Bryant Young, the only player remaining from the 49ers' last Super Bowl team, is 35-years-old and missed a chunk of the preseason with a back injury. Aubrayo Franklin, who was brought in to anchor the nose, has a partially torn knee ligament.

The 3-4 defense doesn't work very well without the guys up front and the 49ers are fairly weak here.

The 49ers roster looks like an 8-8 squad, but they may not even get to there.

The Schedule

For any sleeper team that is breaking out, the key is to get off to a great start. With a really rough opponent list prior to their bye week, the 49ers won't get that opportunity.

They will beat Arizona on opening night at home — that's a given.

They head to St. Louis the following week, which will be a very difficult game against an improved Rams' squad.

They travel to Pittsburgh in Week 3, which will be another loss, then they are at home to Baltimore and Seattle the next two weeks prior to their bye week.

Baltimore won 13 games last year and added Willis McGahee, while the Seattle Seahawks will want to exact revenge on the 49ers, who swept them last year. We'll give them a split here.

Next, the 49ers head to New York to face the Giants after their bye week and then are back home to New Orleans. A split here would be a positive result.

This could easily be a 2-5 start, which will derail those playoff expectations.

The good news is that the 49ers' schedule is much easier on the back end, particularly with three of their final four games coming at home.

Look for the 49ers to finish strong and become a playoff contender in 2008.

Biggest Weakness: Defensive Line — There isn't much depth at end, and Young and Franklin are already hurt. This unit could derail defensive expectations.

Offensive X-Factor: Vernon Davis — He has to become Smith's top target for this offense to become anything better than mediocre.

Defensive X-Factor: Walt Harris — If he can be a shutdown guy along with Clements, that will give the 49ers much more flexibility in their front seven.

Fantasy Market: Buy Low

While I might not think that Darrell Jackson can take this offense to new heights, he is still a No. 1 receiver in this offense. For a small wide receiver, he is more of a touchdown threat than people give him credit for. He has 29 touchdowns in his last 35 games. He should be a lock for at least 70 receptions.

"Vegas" Dave Golokhov hosts "Hardcore Fantasy" on Hardcore Sports Radio, channel 186 on Sirius Satellite Radio. Catch it weekly on Saturdays at 12:00 PM ET.

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 11:30 AM | Comments (0)

September 3, 2007

A Quest For Something Lost

Is everybody in? The ceremony is about to begin. Another football season is here.

My sons and I took our seats back in July, as soon as the NFL opened its gates to training camps across the country. But unlike years past, we turned down our customary portal into the mystical world of professional football that Gillette Stadium in nearby Massachusetts offers in favor of the open road.

I have always considered myself fortunate as a lifelong resident of southeastern New England to live in one of only 32 communities across the country that hosts this passage of summer. Growing up, it was more a commute than a pilgrimage to watch the Patriots in the quaint and intimate surroundings of Bryant College just north of Providence. I'd walk across the campus mingling with players as we each made our way to the practice fields in back. Occasionally, a child my age would be entrusted with carrying a player's helmet. This was a time when the thought of making off with it never crossed anyone's mind.

It was also a time before the advent of chain-link fencing that segregated player from fan. A time before VIP seating that divided fans into castes, placing those of greater worth in bleachers on the favorable side of the chain link fence. There were once days like the one when I sat among several well-acquainted families. As practice ended, Pro Bowl safety Fred Marion walked over to us and lifted an infant girl from the arms of her mother, who was sitting next to me. He raised the child in the air, exclaiming, "Hey baby, I bet you thought Dad went fishing!" Then I slid over a bit as he hugged his wife, their first embrace in more than a week.

Sure, there were roped-off areas in those days, but they were easily side-stepped to yield unobstructed sidelines. During one full-pad scrimmage, a free agent running back from Holy Cross College caught a pass in the flat and was forced out of bounds right in front of me. He had to leap to avoid contact, and he didn't mind a bit; it came with the opportunity to play football for a living. My cost in the matter was five feet — the distance security asked everyone along the sidelines to move back. The free agent didn't fare as well, as he was cut later in the week.

Life was soon to grow busy and deprived me of such carefree consumption of those dog days of summer for several player generations, so returning eight years ago with my own children was special. For me, it was as much a plea for perpetual youth as it was a rite of passage or invocation for football.

The winds of change had by then already blown in big salaries, swelling player egos, and ever-expanding entourages, but there were still experiences to cherish. Like the time when Adam Vinatieri was walking off the field alone and drew even with my group in exodus. He kept looking expectantly at my daughter, who was holding a pen and pad, but turned her gaze away whenever he looked over. Finally, he caved. "Aren't you going to ask me for my autograph?"

That was to be Pete Carroll's final camp as head coach. He shook my son's hand that day and asked him about his hometown Pop Warner team. I wished him luck, but felt dirty in the process. I had resented the team's deterioration since the departure of Bill Parcells and I wanted him gone.

When the team moved four years ago to state-of-the-art amenities offered by their new training facilities at Gillette Stadium 20 miles to the northeast, not much changed for us in terms of proximity. But, in joining eight other NFL teams at that point that had ushered in new-age football by abandoning the intimacy of a collegiate setting, the Patriots organization inflicted a sense of loss that could not be measured in the added gasoline my car consumed.

For those who've never been, Gillette Stadium is a massive city of steel and concrete not unlike other NFL facilities. There's a water tower standing tall against the distance that makes you feel you're almost there long before the burgeoning traffic will permit. The lighthouse in the open north end zone soon comes into view, signifying another mile's worth of red lights. Lines of cones mold traffic into a controllable stream and you sort of guide your car in the general direction of waving hand-held flags. Non-compliance is an impossible option.

On our first Gillette visit, I was fortunate to have brought the Playmate along. I used it like Moses' staff to secure safe passage through a food court of hot dog, popcorn, and pretzel vendors by raising it as a reminder of the free contents within whenever the kids looked expectantly up at me. Access to the fields was contained to one grandstand of aluminum bleachers along only the west sideline of the western field. These accommodated nearly all, excepting some smaller bleachers atop a hill behind the distant north end zone. These seated the Very Important and were flanked by the Media Tent on the close side and the Friends & Family Tent on the further side. Such accommodations Fred Marion would have never tolerated.

Over the course of 10 minutes, the players may as well have emerged from Kevin Costner's cornfields, so enigmatic was their gradual appearance from beyond the far-away eastern field. They soon began a series of Pavlovian divisions and assemblages at the instruction of a foghorn. After an iteration of drills that is best described as choreographed chaos, lightning split the sky. Coach Bill Belichick blew a whistle and the scattered drill stations were set into unified motion. They moved past us, around the far end of the bleachers, then into the waiting arms of a giant bubble and the practice fields within. Everyone was going innn-side!

We descended the grandstands quickly and caught up with the aft of the procession as it was swallowed by the Bubble. When it was our turn to enter, we were stopped by security: only VIPs beyond this point. We stepped aside, into the midst of sordid rejectees bathed in Flying Elvis logo apparel and a sense of shame and abandonment. Then the skies opened up.

Today, the weather hasn't brightened much when it comes to this unique fan experience. Fourteen teams — nearly half the NFL — have migrated to the comforts of year-round training facilities, and at least two others — New York's Giants and Jets — will be joining them after next year. Like the Cahulawassee River of the fictional South, remote training camps will soon be dammed, their free flowing intimacy permanently ceased to later generations that will never know the bounty of their waters. So, my sons and I set out this summer on our own search for Deliverance. We packed the cooler, grabbed a change of clothes, and headed for New York.

Life imitated art, right up until the attendant at the parking lot on the State University of New York's picturesque Albany campus asked for five bucks to get in to see the Giants. I don't remember Burt Reynolds ever paying a dime for his riverfront space. After we passed, the attendant depressed her clicker three times. They take attendance figures nowadays.

Inside, I was mildly surprised to find Command and Control similar to that in Foxborough. The players' path from locker room to fields was cordoned off wherever it intersected with milling fans. The fields themselves were expansive, with the main one bearing Albany's Great Danes logo at mid-field. However, in July, Coach Tom Coughlin contains his troops to the practice fields beyond, and the whole contiguous array is wrapped in ... chain-link. Not your New England variety galvanized chain-link. This was a more virulent strain, installed at the foot of a slope itself too steep to negotiate, thereby forcing us lay fans ever wider of the perimeter it established. Nevertheless, unlike Ned Beatty, I was determined not to squeal like a pig throughout the ordeal of getting a respectable vantage point.

Despite the initial inhospitality, the afternoon was fun, thanks in part to Jeremy Shockey. Tight ends were working out along the fence, but his leadership was apparent even beyond audible range. He was the first to execute every blocking sled drill, and no one moved it further. This particular Sunday afternoon was helmets and shoulder pads only, but Shockey toyed just inside the borders of limited contact on every scrimmage play. He, along with Eli Manning, were the last to leave the field, but unlike Peyton's younger brother, Shockey ran from one side of the roped-off walkway to the other, signing every manner of article for which a Sharpie was also presented.

The heat had wilted my sons a bit, so the next day I lured them down the New York State Thruway with the promise of a little recreation. After the Jets camp at Hofstra University in Hempstead, we'd take in the amusements at nearby Coney Island.

I have not been on Long Island in nearly a lifetime, but little has changed. Traveling west along the Hempstead Turnpike, we passed through areas that time and redevelopment efforts have forgotten. I half-expected to see a savant in suspenders standing atop the next overpass picking the strings of his banjo. The Hofstra campus, on the other hand, is an oasis, a shady and inviting respite from the harsh sentence the rest of New York — and shortly, even the New York Jets — has handed down.

We arrived early, but the players were already on the two practice fields visible from the main entrance to North Campus, directly across a tree-lined byway from the small yet accommodating parking area. Generation Jets Fest, the Jets' private label adaptation of the NFL Experience interactive theme park, was in full operation, and the entire camp production was fan-friendly. Even the drills were set to a backdrop of rap music blaring from numerous speakers with skill position players managing a good beat. Throughout the day, Coach Eric Mangini would employ various musical genres to create the game-like confusion for which he is renown, turning the session into a choreographed performance that made this a dual-sensory experience.

Hofstra was absolutely bathed in green, so the bright red of my oldest son's Warrick Dunn jersey caught a few eyes and some ire. One fan standing next to me saw him throwing a football with his brother on the road behind us and expressed a desire for some kids to come along and mug him. When the football toss ended, both boys came over. I couldn't resist casting my eyes at the belligerent fan, but he never looked back. Guess it was time for Coney Island.

During the return drive home, I debated the success of my quest. A new age had indeed swept football since those training camps of my youth. Progress tends to seep, no matter how resolute a sentimental hack can remain against it. Teams must extract every advancement in technology to win and every win to survive in today's NFL. Notwithstanding my stories, my kids don't know otherwise. After all, they've grown up with e-mail, iPods, and Xbox, the sort of stuff for which the Cahulawassee was dammed in the first place.

Maybe I'd sleep well tonight with this epiphany. Then again, maybe I'd awake from the nightmare of an arm rising from the stilled current of bygone days seizing me by the neck.

Posted by Bob Ekstrom at 11:44 AM | Comments (0)

The Folly in Preseason Rankings

In the preseason college football rankings last year, how many top-25 teams stayed top-25 teams by year's end? Fifteen. In the last four years, how many teams have fallen from preseason top-25 grace to unranked squads clamoring for minor end-of-the-year games like the Meineke Car Care Bowl?

Forty-one. In the last four years, the AP Top 25 has successfully predicted only 59% of the teams that will end up ranked by year's end.

And how many teams have finished the same ranking as they started? Two: 25th-ranked TCU in 2003 and first-ranked USC in 2004.

The excuses flow like wine: it's a hard job, almost impossible. It's a crystal-ball business. You get it right and you've done your job. You get it wrong and you're the pinnacle of incompetence. It's the equivalent of being an offensive lineman.

How about instead of making all of these excuses we just, oh, I don't know, do away with the whole concept of preseason rankings? They're completely meaningless and only serve to make teams look better than they ever are. The proof is in the pudding all around us.

The fourth-ranked Texas Longhorns just barely squeaked by unranked Arkansas State 21-13 and the fifth-ranked Michigan Wolverines have already suffered an embarrassing (completely embarrassing) defeat at the hands of Appalachian State. There's something wrong with a crystal-ball business where the fourth-best team in the nation beats Arkansas State by only eight and the fifth-best loses to a Division-II ball club.

Unranked East Carolina held ninth-ranked Virginia Tech to 33 yards rushing. And if not for a fourth-quarter collapse by unranked Kansas State, the 18th-ranked Auburn Tigers would have left their Jordan-Hare Stadium losers.

The purpose of the rankings is to provide a framework from Week 1 to guide the top two teams in the nation to the National Championship Game. The only problem is the rankings heavily favor teams at the top of the list and early-season losses.

USC could lose their first game and slide down to sixth or seventh. They beat the rest of their teams and the voters forget about their little stumbling block against the Anytown McNobodys. Then you have a Louisville or a Boise State that continually starts off at the bottom of the ranks and claws their way to a one-loss season and finishes their climb at sixth or seventh.

And therein lies the central problem: a large part of the ranking process is voted upon. In a perfect world, there'd be a simpler ranking formula to calculate the top-16 (or, God-willing, 32) teams and stage a playoff schedule like EVERY OTHER SPORT AND COLLEGE DIVISION CLASS IN FOOTBALL.

If it is to be completely objective and fair, a computer formula needs to be agreed upon and relied on solely. If it is to be completely subjective with leeway given every year to teams that we feel deserve the right to play or a game that would prove more entertaining, a voting formula needs to be agreed upon and relied on solely.

For either scenario, the rankings don't need to start until Week 4 or Week 5 because there are too many variables to account for. For one, the player turnover is too large. A team is 20-25% new players from the last snap of the previous season to the kickoff of the next. And when a team loses its three-year starter at quarterback or a key offensive lineman of four years or a sack-machine decided to go pro early, the team will fall farther than expected.

If the Cleveland Browns and Oakland Raiders are given a fresh start at the beginning of every year, we can certainly let the TCU's and Missouri's have theirs.

Posted by Ryan Day at 11:26 AM | Comments (1)

2007 NFL Preview: San Diego Chargers

Looking At 2006 In The Rear View Mirror

So close, yet so far.

The San Diego Chargers made giant leaps in 2006, but couldn't put all together in the playoffs.

The season started with a bold decision to let the injured Drew Brees walk and hand the team to untested quarterback Philip Rivers. Quiet clearly, the plan was to keep the pressure off of Rivers for the first season by leaning more on the shoulders of LaDainian Tomlinson. The Chargers' offense was stellar with the ground attack. Obviously having Tomlinson helped, but the offensive line was as strong as it had been in recent memory.

But instead of lauding what went well, let's focus on what needs to be fixed.

For starters, Rivers didn't have a good full season. Whether it was the rigors of playing a full 16-game schedule for the first time or simply slumping a little bit, he didn't exude the same confidence in the latter stages of the season that he showed in the first two months.

In the passing game, the Chargers were pretty much the same team they had always been for the past five years. Tight end Antonio Gates was the main threat, while the wide receivers were just a run-of-the-mill group.

Out of 287 completions, only 126 were made by wide receivers. When it came down to the playoffs, having so few threats on the edges came back to hurt the team.

On defense, the Chargers were phenomenal. The loss of Steve Foley at the beginning of the season was quickly forgotten as Shaun Phillips and Shawne Merriman wreaked havoc off of the edges.

Up front, the Chargers have probably the best defensive line anchoring a 3-4. Nose tackle Jamal Williams sucks up double-teams every play, but Luis Castillo is an awesome end player who doesn't get so much credit.

The secondary, which was previously a weakness, stepped up and played a little bit better. I'm still cautious to give them a ton of credit simply because the front seven made their work so much easier.

The Playoff Loss

So another one of Marty Schottenheimer's teams fails to execute in the playoffs. What else is new?

I won't — and don't — blame Schottenheimer for the loss.

Last season, there were concerns early on as to how conservative the Chargers would be with a raw starting quarterback, but the playbook was open from day one and there were no training wheels. I'll give credit to Schottenheimer, a coach with a pretty bad track record of being conservative, for easing up.

Interesting enough, though, maybe he eased up too much. In the playoff game against New England, the Chargers only gave 8 carries to Tomlinson in the second half while protecting the lead. The old Marty Ball approach would have been to feed him 20-25 in the second half.

But the coaching staff chose to be aggressive — possibly because they had been ripped in the past for being too conservative.

I guess their damned if they do and damned if they don't.

Using Letters To Breakdown Numbers: Philip Rivers

Rivers came out of the gates from a canon in 2006 and the transition from Brees to Rivers appeared seamless.

But having a first-time starter running the show ended up hurting the Chargers — in the short term, anyway.

Rivers didn't throw an interception in September and had a quarterback rating of 107.4 at the end of the month. But unfortunately, it wouldn't only regress from there.

September:
33-46, 71.7%, 2 TD, 0 INT, 107.4 QB rating

October:
106-164, 64.6%, 8 TD, 3 INT, 94.9 QB rating

November:
76-121, 62.8%, 5 TD, 3 INT, 89.0 QB rating

December:
69-129, 53.5%, 7 TD, 3 INT, 85.7 QB rating

It's normal for first-time starters (or rookies, for that matter) to fade down the stretch of their first season. With Rivers, he visibly wasn't as confident as he was at the start of the year and that further affected a passing game that wasn't so strong to begin with.

Goodbye Coaching Staff, Goodbye Championship?

The Chargers were so close last season and they probably won't come that close again this year.

Sure, the talent returns including 10 Pro Bowlers. Furthermore, the team is super young so a lot the players will probably get better — including Tomlinson.

But after losing an entire staff, you can't expect for continuity.

No, that doesn't mean that the Chargers will flop and finish with eight wins. What it means is that the last coaching staff new the exact buttons to push to get the most out of everyone.

Norv Turner has already shown in the past that he is not capable of doing that as a head coach.

The last staff had even morphed to the players, throwing their conservative play-calling out the window to better mold to the team.

This is really a can't-win situation for Turner. In his previous stops in Oakland and Washington, he had virtually no expectations to produce right away. In San Diego, if he falls short of the Super Bowl, the season will be a disappointment.

Losing Cam Cameron and Wade Phillips might hurt even more than losing Schottenheimer.

The offense and defense were both peaking under their respective coordinators. Now they have brought in coaches to run a similar system, but Diet Coke is not Coke.

Turner is an excellent offensive coordinator, but his teams have lacked discipline in the past. Turnovers, penalties, and bonehead mistakes in execution have plagued his teams while he headed them and he ended up losing clout in the clubhouse. That likely won't happen this year, but it will happen.

This Year

Expect the Chargers to be an excellent regular season team — they look like they are built perfectly for it. But I don't think there are many people that will believe they can beat New England — at home or on the road — in the playoffs at this point.

The offense returns nine starters, but added a first-round pick in wide receiver Craig Davis. It's clear that the wide receiving corps in the weakness on offense, but the Chargers are banking on Davis and Vincent Jackson to bust out.

Expect Rivers to piece together a full, quality season while relying less on Tomlinson. Don't get me wrong, Tomlinson is the cornerstone, but look for them to trust Rivers a lot more.

Keep an eye on Darren Sproles. Not that this team needs a third-down back or a runner to catch out of the backfield, Sproles is strong in that role. But he can give this team a big boost on special teams returns, which they were optimistic about last year until he got hurt.

The defense returns eight starters, but it looks like even the front office is concerned about the secondary. They used their second-round pick on safety Eric Weddle and also dipped into the supplemental draft to add another cornerback in Paul Oliver.

The only real changes in the starting lineup will be at middle linebacker, where the Chargers installed Stephen Cooper and Matt Wilhelm as full-time guys. Veteran Donnie Edwards, who had been whining for a while, left to Kansas City.

To be honest, no team in the NFL has more talent than the Chargers, but I have very little faith in Norv Turner. Watching the very first preseason game, I remember why his teams were so bad. In an opening series versus Seattle, the Chargers' drive started positively, but was riddled with penalties and execution blunders that ended the drive. Yes, I know it was the first preseason game, but those are typical characteristics of a Norv Turner team and as the evidence shows, he is simply not a good coach.

Biggest Weakness: Mettle — The Chargers will beat any top-tier team they face in the regular season (including New England), but they have to prove that they can win in the playoffs. Nothing else matters.

Offensive X-Factor: Craig Davis/Vincent Jackson — We know Tomlinson is great, we know Gates is great, we know Rivers is only on his way up; if the Chargers could add another consistent threat on the outside, they would be extremely tough to stop.

Defensive X-Factor: Marlon McCree — The Carolina Panthers regret losing this guy; he may not be great, but he is the quarterback of the secondary. He communicates well and lines everybody up properly.

Fantasy Market: Buy Low

I get the feeling that Philip Rivers can easily become a No. 1 fantasy quarterback. He threw 22 touchdowns and only 9 interceptions last year, which indicates that he was already a good No. 2 option.

He is playing with more confidence than last season, but this time it will last all year long. With the growth of Jackson, the addition of Craig Davis, and Eric Parker out to prove that he is an asset, look for Rivers to get 25+ touchdown passes.

"Vegas" Dave Golokhov hosts "Hardcore Fantasy" on Hardcore Sports Radio, channel 186 on Sirius Satellite Radio. Catch it weekly on Saturdays at 12:00 PM ET.

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 11:21 AM | Comments (0)

September 1, 2007

Donkey Punched By Documentary

I don't often visit ESPN.com these days. Too many bells, too many whistles, too many video files that seem to start playing the minute I see the first headline; quite frankly, it's completely overwhelming for my antiquated home PC, which can barely run Microsoft Word and the calculator program at the same time without slowing to Cecil-Fielder-rounding-third-base levels.

But I also feel like the Worldwide Leader doesn't speak to my fan interests any longer. Perhaps it's the alienated hockey fan in me, but when I do log on to the front page, the major story being pimped is something that's either been overplayed or is something for which I have zero interest (i.e. anything that includes the word "Boston.") Maybe as a 30-year-old fan, I'm out of their age bracket. Hey, it happens: there comes a point in everyone's life when they realize they can no longer apply to be on "The Real World."

There is no greater evidence of this disconnect than the link at the top of the ESPN mothership to "video games," which is pretty much as generational a litmus test as I can imagine.

(If the Internet was as viable in the early '90s as it is today, do you think there would there have been coverage of "Blades of Steel" and "Double Dribble" on ESPN.com?)

Obviously, ESPN has been involved in its own brands of gaming, and has openly embraced "Madden Nation" to the point where there are more video game competitions than track-and-field competitions on the networks. So video games are as viable a link as the ones for "Page 2," "blogs," and the most important word on ESPN.com, "shop."

This is usually where I'd go into a rant about how video games can't be considered a sport. But I can't. Not after watching "The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters" this week. Not after experiencing what is the greatest sports documentary since "When We Were Kings."

"The King of Kong" is, for the uninitiated, an engrossing look into the world of classic video gaming. Specifically, it follows two men (and sometimes more) who are battling to secure the highest score in the history of coin-operated "Donkey Kong" arcade games. One of those men is Billy Mitchell, considered the "gamer of the century" and the man who scored 874,300 on "Kong" in 1982 to solidify his legend. And what a legend: Mitchell became the face of classic gaming, owning other records and appearing as the swaggering public liaison for the entire subculture — thanks to the enthusiastic backing of "Twin Galaxies," the organization that oversees and regulates classic gaming records.

How does Twin Galaxies do this? By inviting gamers to video tape their exploits, send them in, and have them verified by a panel of experts; or by breaking a record live under the rules and regulations of the organization.

Steve Wiebe was 35 years old in 2003 when he lost his job. A father and a husband with a heart-breaking back-story of unfulfilled potential, Wiebe decided to dedicate his time towards breaking Mitchell's long-standing record on "Kong" after finding the mark — which he deemed beatable — on the Internet. He purchased a game for his garage, and played for hours, days, weeks and months. His mind, which family members felt was a little O.C.D. to begin with, broke the game down into rhythms and sequences, as he literally diagramed levels like Madden with a telestrator. Finally, on one fateful day, he shattered Mitchell's record, scoring over 1,000,000 points and becoming an unlikely celebrity.

Where the film goes from being an interesting chronicle to an outstanding documentary is when the plot twists like a pretzel for these two men.

Wiebe, it seems, had been in league with another gamer with a grudge against Mitchell, one who helped provide Wiebe with his home game. Twin Galaxies suspected that the coin-op game could have been tinkered with — unbeknownst to Wiebe — to allow him to set the record (and knock Mitchell down a peg) through illegal means. That fact that the officials judging this video-taped effort included not only Mitchell-acolytes but also Mitchell himself stacked the deck against Wiebe. His record clouded in controversy, Wiebe began traveling the classic gaming circuit; not only to prove his record and abilities were valid, but to eventually get a mano-y-mano showdown with Mitchell to settle their high-score.

To call the rest of the film an unpredictable delight would be an understatement. The thing plays out in a geekdom of classic gamers playing "Joust" and wearing joystick shirts. Guys who have special gloves they wear for games with a trackball controller. Grown men who are aroused by a "Donkey Kong kill-screen" in the same way they were probably aroused by Halle Berry in "Swordfish." You want to learn about these people, understand them; you want to know the roots of their nostalgia and obsession.

That's never more evident than with Mitchell, the unequaled star of the film. He's a Christ-like visage with a God complex, oozing the kind of frightening confidence you usually need to pay to see in a motivational seminar. His life isn't his "Donkey Kong" record; rather, his life as a restaurateur, entrepreneur, and small-scale icon is built upon that celebrity. Losing the record would be like pulling all the Jenga tiles from the bottom of the stack: if the entire tower doesn't topple over, at least most of it would. For Mitchell, as well as for the people within the classic gaming subculture who revere him and endorse him, the "Donkey Kong" record is a historic accomplishment reserved for their greatest competitor.

So what makes this a sports documentary, besides the incredible athletic achievements of Mario the Plumber as he leaps over hundreds of barrels and fireballs?

First off, there's no denying the sort of mental and, yes, physical stamina displayed by a guy like Steve Wiebe in setting a video game record. Witness his intense focus when everyone at the gaming convention is crowded around his seat. Anyone who's played an arcade game has eventually had someone breathing down their back, ready to pop his quarter in next. It ain't easy.

But I think "The King of Kong" works as a sports documentary because it perfectly captures the fleeting celebrity of competition. While not a perfect comparison, Billy Mitchell was Roger Maris. Without their respective records, DiMaggio, Ripken and Rose (until the betting) would have been in the Hall of Fame anyway. Maris WAS the home-run record. That's why we talked about him 30 years later. Then came the challengers to that title: McGwire, Sosa, Bonds. There went Maris's celebrity. Hello, cloud of controversy over the records that replaced his.

Like I said, not a perfect comparison — Wiebe is portrayed as someone slightly more virtuous than a Boy Scout here — but the point still stands. Whether you consider video gaming to be a sport or a skill or a hobby or a waste of time, there's no denying the competition, the intensity, and the diminutive glory on the line within that subculture for these individuals.

"The King of Kong" gives us a glimpse into that world. I never once broke my stare to check my watch while glued to my theater seat.

Maybe it's time I click that "video games" link on ESPN.com...

Greg Wyshynski is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 10:48 AM | Comments (0)