Jordan vs. Beckham, Continued

I'm not quite sure what the more surreal television moment on Thursday night was: ESPN's live countdown clock, ticking away to the debut of David Beckham with the L.A. Galaxy; or Beckham's wife, Victoria, attempting to charm American viewers with her own "celeb-reality" special on NBC.

Two mega-personalities thrust into our living room idiot boxes with the velocity of international superstardom. Their celebrity is well-established elsewhere, but don't they have to earn their hype in the U.S.? I have to imagine that for most of mainstream America, this was like a case of "mommy's new boyfriend" syndrome — "You don't know him yet, honey, but trust me when I tell you he's a great, great guy and you're going to love him like I do."

"You mean like the other ones, mom?"

The countdown to Beckham's debut is understandable, as MLS is an ESPN property and thus is given gravitas and respect that other sports that have the nerve to be under another network's umbrella — like, say, the National Hockey League — are not. Beckham's exhibition debut (should it even happen) is both sports news and an ESPN promotional vehicle, which unfortunately seems to be the case with 99% of sports news these days. (Remember when a hot dog eating contest was just a hot dog eating contest?)

(Hell, remember when a hot dog eating contest wasn't even considered a sport?)

Meanwhile, Posh Spice was mugging like a tarted-up Jim Carrey on her reality special. I have no idea why this couldn't have been a serious look at her and her husband's lives in L.A., rather than Victoria Beckham doing physical comedy in an earthquake simulator. Why do I get the feeling she may have seen a few episodes of "The Osbournes" and decided "If that foul-mouthed cow can do it, so can I!"...

As far as Posh's comedic talents go: unfortunately, "Spice World" remains the career highlight.

Last week's Jester's Quart compared David Beckham with Michael Jordan. Before Alexi Lalas began making the comparisons himself, a poster named "Candy" made one, and that acted as a catalyst for the column. My guess that "Candy" was actually Frank Deford appears to have been incorrect: Candy claims to be a female sports fan, and took issue with my calling her statement that "Beckham's bigger than Jordan" asinine in the piece. "I am not going to debate you because we all have our opinions," she wrote, "but to call my statements asinine, then I presume yours are as well. I challenge you to perform this worldwide in all different languages!!!"

David Beckham no es más grande que Michael Jordania.

What do I win?

If you've read this column over the last 10 years, you know I rarely print the correspondence I receive. First of all, I prefer an e-mail conversation with readers rather than attempting to have the last word in the JQ. But more importantly, I feel whatever I have to say takes precedence because it will undoubtedly be wittier, better-written, and more insightful than what most of my readers send me.

Yes, I am that big a douche bag.

I buck the trend this week because I received two responses to the Jordan vs. Beckham column that really struck me as exceptional. The first is from Aditya lohia, writing from Nepal in Southeast Asia, which itself speaks to how huge both of these stars are:

"After reading your article I thought or rather guessed that you are from America (I don't mean it in an offensive way as I like Americans too).

I am a HUGE SPORTS fanatic and I mean SPORTS fanatic. Michael Jordan made me watch basketball of which people didn't give a rat's ass before Jordan made it popular out here in Southeast Asia. David Beckham made me watch soccer of which people didn't give a rat's ass before David Beckham. Now the point I am trying to make here is that these two legends, as I would call them, cannot be compared on any platform but I would say just be appreciated for what they have achieved and done. Michael Jordan I personally believe might've made more money than David Beckham but then I would say that is because he was in America and David Beckham was not. Whereas David Beckham has been popular everywhere other than the United States. I'm not saying Beckham is bigger than Jordan, but I think that Jordan has marketed a product in basketball to the world and those who liked it watched it and David Beckham has marketed a product in football or soccer and those who liked it watched it. Again the point here is that both have reached out to the whole world and after that they have left it to the people to choose what they like and it so happens that Jordan's impact was felt more in the USA and Canada whereas Beckham's impact was felt more in the other parts of the world.

I would say that the EPL (English premier league) and FIFA should thank David Beckham for what they earn and NBA should do the same to Michael Jordan as both have done the same thing to different sports which in turn has revolutionized both the sports in the world. I am not sure whether Michael Jordan was the best player ever in basketball history and I am sure that David Beckham isn't the best player that ever was…but what I am sure about is that both were excellent players of their games and both have reached out to a huge mass its just that the impact have been felt in different places at different levels."

Nepal ... can you believe there are guys in Nepal sitting around, drinking whatever it is they drink in Nepal, debating Jordan vs. Beckham!?

The second letter comes from reader Alex Chowdhury, who really makes some fantastic points in rebuttal to my original piece:

"In all actuality Beckham probably is much more of a worldwide phenomenon than Michael Jordan (or Tiger Woods for that matter). As it happens, basketball in Europe, South America, Asia and Australia is the equivalent of soccer in the states (except for some fleeting interest in Russia and China, who probably still value soccer more highly). By that I mean it is much less popular than soccer outside of the USA. In most countries it is hardly ever shown, and if it is it is more likely to be the national league of the respective country, not US basketball (as in Spain, for example). By contrast soccer is shown in great frequency all over the world with matches from all the major soccer-playing leagues and international matches. Many more people across the world would watch a world cup final than an Olympic basketball final. Soccer is definitely the true global sport (despite US lack of interest).


Your opening tale of the boy wearing a Michael Jordan shirt is one that would have been mirrored again and again with David Beckham's name. His worldwide fame surpasses that of world leaders, musicians and movie stars. There is one story that I particularly like of a Japanese woman licking every toilet seat in a famous Japanese hotel as she didn't know which one Beckham had used."

I'd like to cut in here and mention that I did the same thing, only it was Scarlett Johansson and several dozen Chipotle restaurants in New York City.

Please continue:

"A fair percentage of men in Australia or Japan for example, may recognize a picture of Michael Jordan, but many fewer still would be able to name what team he played for. By contrast, a much, much larger percentage of both men and women would not only recognize David Beckham, but would be able to name the teams he has played for. Due to one man, the LA Galaxy soccer team will be much more well known across the globe than Chicago Bulls.


In summation, although more of the 250 million citizens of the USA will be familiar with Michael Jordan than David Beckham; many more of the 6+ billion people in the world will know of David Beckham than Mike Jordan."

There are many other issues in this debate I think deserve attention — race being the most prominent — and hopefully when Beckham begins to make his impact in the U.S., we can revisit the topic. Until that time, I will reiterate that Beckham is as enormous a sports celebrity as we have in the world ... but in the end, he's an athlete built by the tabloids and, from a marketing aspect, playing by Jordan's Rules. Michael sold a sport, created something out of nothing; Beckham is the best-looking chap in the world's most popular sport and married to a pop starlet. Not exactly heavy-lifting there...

We're lucky to have him on American soil ... even if it means having to deal with that Spice Girls reunion.

At least Scary can be something other than Axel Foley's baby momma for a while.

Greg Wyshynski is the Features Editor for SportsFan Magazine in Washington, DC, and the Senior Sports Editor for The Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. His book is "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History." His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].