Morgan from Beckley, WV writes, "Hot dog-eating black belt Takeru Kobayashi is listed as 'day-to-day' with a jaw injury for the annual Nathan's Famous July 4th International Hot Dog Eating Contest. Does the fact that the competitive eating circuit has an injury list legitimize it as a 'real' sport?"
Does competitive eating even need legitimizing as a sport? Classifying a sport as a "legitimate" sport has nothing to do with athletic ability or physical prowess; it's got everything to do with whether or not people will watch it on television. Kobayashi's exploits have piqued the public's interest in competitive eating, and the circuit has risen from the realm of mere cult status to an endeavor in which injury reports are a staple. Sounds like a sport to me.
If you don't believe competitive eating is a sport, then surf over to IFOCE.com, the web site of the sport's governing body, the International Federation of Competitive Eating. Here you'll find links to rankings, eater profiles, records, a schedule of eating contests, and how to host an event. The federation even has an official shield, in which two winged lions appear to be eating a hot dog above a flaming torch that mysteriously resembles an ice cream cone. It also appears that the lions are dueling with mustard and ketchup bottles. What other sports can boast such an iconic and regal coat of arms? Even the House of Windsor shield is no match in importance.
There is also a store, where you are invited to "wear the gear the pros wear," which, one would think, would be a t-shirt and a loose-fitting pair of pants. Oddly, though, Kobayashi's famous yellow Nathan's headband is not one of the selections. The I.F.O.C.E. even has oficial sponsors, including Pizza Hut, Heinz Ketchup, and Nathan's. All of these factors don't ask for legitimacy, they demand it.
Kobayashi's injury adds some intrigue to the Nathan's contest. And what more could an eating contest need than intrigue. The Japanese eating machine, who hails from the 'Land of the Rising Sun' by way of 'Land of the Gobbled Weiner,' is the six-time defending champion of the event, and set the world record by consuming 53¾ hot dogs against a world-class field last year. His chief rival, American Joey Chestnut, trumped that record earlier this month by eating 59½ dogs at a qualifying tournament in Tempe, Arizona.
After his victory, Chestnut chased his meals with a shot of sake, which obviously was a challenge to Kobayashi. Kobayashi countered by saying when the two meet in New York, Chestnut would go down faster than Morris Chestnut in Boyz in the Hood. The comments only fueled what is already a strained Japanese/American competitive eating relationship, and enhanced what is already the most publicized rivalry on the circuit. Legitimate sports need rivalries. The NBA had Larry Bird versus Magic Johnson. Boxing had Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier. Baseball had the Yankees and the Dodgers. Add the Kobayashi/Chestnut saga to that list.
Chestnut's new record, coupled with Kobayashi's jaw injury, places the hot dog kamikaze in the unfamiliar position of underdog. Reports indicate that Kobayashi can only open his mouth enough to insert one finger, which wouldn't be a problem were he in a spaghetti-eating contest. But, as any competitive eating color commentator, analyst, play-by-play man, or sideline reporter would tell you, it's virtually impossible to shovel 50+ franks into one's mouth through an opening that small. And pureeing is strictly forbidden on the competitive eating circuit.
Insiders say that Kobayashi has dedicated himself to healing and competing on July 4th, although reports of Kobayashi training with Pat Morita and planning to compete blindfolded are false. Chestnut, ironically nicknamed "Jaws," is confident as the favorite. Expect Kobayashi to deal with the pain and compete. True Japanese heroes never cower from a fight. Just ask Godzilla. Whatever the circumstances, the anticipation of the Kobayashi/Chestnut showdown has created a circus-like atmosphere on the competitive eating circuit, among fans and eaters alike.
Publicity alone does not fully legitimize a sport. Poker, billiards, bowling, and the WNBA are regularly televised on various channels, but are not necessarily legitimate sports. That point is arguable, but this one is not: those sports have reached their pinnacles. Does poker get any better than the 2005 World Series of Poker? Obviously not, since that tournament has been televised about 200 times. Once competitive eating gets a regular television deal, then the sport will explode.
If the Food Network wants to grab the sports fan demographic, then they should jump on this opportunity. The sport of competitive eating is ready to expand, and with just the right push, it can align itself on par with the other major sports. When that happens, expect the usual to follow. That includes video games, fantasy eating leagues, steroid and gun controversies, reality shows, the admiration of Jim Rome, and a hard-hitting, investigative book by John Feinstein called Gluttony on the Bounty.
Get Your Questions Answered!
Do you have a question or comment? Are you a jack of all trades, master of none? Do you find yourself in strip clubs frequented by Pacman Jones? Do you long for the days when only baseballs were accused of being "juiced?" Then send your question/comment along with your name and hometown to [email protected]. You may get the answer you're looking for in the next column on Friday, July 13th.
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