NBA Superstar Power Rankings

The NBA is a league of stars; we've heard that time after time. Forget talent or accomplishment. No other league values style over substance quite like the Association. And now that the grave for Dirk Nowitzki's 2006-07 stardom is finally finished (go ahead and throw on a last shovelful of dirt ... I'll wait), it seems like as good a time as any to examine the pecking order for NBA stars. Of course, don't confuse this exercise with a ranking of, say, the actual talent levels of the Association's stars.

No, this list is not an attempt to establish who the league's best player is. Instead, the question in play here refers to the old joke about U2's Bono and Jesus: if Player A and Player B were walking down a hallway in opposite directions and bumped into each other as they passed, which one do we think should turn and say, "Excuse me." (The way the joke goes is Bono would look back at Jesus, expecting the Savior's apology.) So here are my NBA star power rankings:

The B-List (Missed the Cut)

Amare Stoudemire/Shawn Marion — Good players, but they are continuously in each other's way. Their brewing feud is based on their competition for shots, accolades, and attention. More than that, they're certainly not cracking the top 10 if I didn't include...

Steve Nash/Jason Kidd — While so much has been made about the dying role of the big man in modern basketball, what about the pass-first (or even fourth, for that matter) point guard? Other than Nash and Kidd, everyone else at the point either passes if his own offensive options are checked or because he doesn't have any offensive options (the Eric Snow effect). Either way, can you name what sneaker brand either wears? Okay, that's not fair; everyone wears Nike.

Vince Carter — While Dirk's image has taken the most public beating this postseason, Vince Cartercomesupgimpy (at least that's how I always hear his name) has also taken a Louisville Slugger to the character. It's always interesting to see a) how Carter's limp comes, goes, and intensifies as he makes or misses shots and b) how quickly Carter can find a referee after a missed shot. There isn't a quicker whiner in the league. And did I mention he's a free agent in perhaps only a few days? Have you pre-ordered your Orange Vinsanity jerseys yet, Bobcats fans?

Carmelo Anthony — At the beginning of the season, 'Melo almost certainly makes the top 10. But after the Allen Iverson trade and the overexposed fight in MSG, Anthony fell far away from the spotlight. There's just something about Carmelo that screams "second banana." Maybe he's been surrounded by too many talented players in his career (not his fault), but I remember his Syracuse days as much more impressive than what we've seen in Denver.

Honorable International Mention

Yao Ming — He doesn't exactly tip the scales of celebrity in the U.S., but more than a billion people can't be wrong. Consider this an apologetic acknowledgment that I don't have much of a feel for the buzz in Beijing.

Mr. Congeneality

Gilbert Arenas — Nobody brings more fun to the NBA than Agent Zero. Any player who openly bets opposing fans behind his bench that he will hit a game-winning shot (let's not mention that he missed by five feet) deserves some measure of celebrity. The only problem is if Arenas can sustain this for the long term. Kooky athletes like Bill "Spaceman" Lee have been around as long as people have played sports. After all, the world of athletics is a society like any other with its share of leaders, free riders, and weirdos.

However, as the scrutiny and focus of the media tighten exponentially on this generation's stars, how long can we expect a guy like Arenas to dodge the bullets of columnists who need a target on a slow, dreary Wednesday February devoid of a sports lightning rod? Let's see if he's still as happy-go-lucky in three years.

The Top 10

10. Kevin Garnett — I love his heart, I love his intensity, and I love his loyalty. Unfortunately, you can't help but feel that K.G. left quite a bit on the table. He never took off as a personality off the court, and we all know how his T-Wolves have performed during his career. In fact, while his numbers certainly are top shelf, there are several players of far less fame who compare at least reasonably to Garnett (check out relatively anonymous Pau Gasol's 21 ppg, 10 rpg this season versus K.G.'s 22 ppg, 13 rpg). Along with Iverson, Garnett has (deservingly) earned his fame by spilling his guts on the court on a consistent basis. Quite a few guys (that means you, Vince Carter) could learn from that example.

9. Greg Oden — Wasn't the point of David Stern's age rule to avoid young guys from getting too much too soon? Well, let's just say Oden is being grandfathered in (this is where I pause for the cheap laugh ... get it, he looks old?). One of the NBA's most time-honored traditions is the emphasis of potential over accomplishment, and it seems as if Oden's 2007-08 will give LeBron's 2003-04 a run for ridiculous rookie expectations. Let's just say I think fans in Memphis and Boston have already put down deposits for next year's playoff tickets, and Oden is currently second behind Yao for the Western Conference's center spot for the 2010 All-Star Game. We might all just be a bit ahead of ourselves on this guy.

8. Tim Duncan — In all honesty, I wanted to leave him off the list to prove a point. Probably the league's best player, Duncan's star couldn't even be a nightlight. But I thought it was just as effective instead to put him behind...

7. Tracy McGrady — Look, I really respect the game T-Mac talks. He seems legitimately devoted to winning over his own stats. And to be fair, he hasn't been losing first round matchups he was supposed to win easily. But it's just hard to overlook never winning a playoff series. Like a third ear in the middle of a blind date's forehead, it's just a deal-breaker for me. Maybe you can look past it; I can't. And yet, who got a half million more all-star votes? Welcome to the Association.

6. Dirk Nowitzki — In all fairness, Dirk probably wouldn't have cracked the top four prior to his disappearance in the Bay Area. It's a shame that Dirk is lumped in with many other international players who lack a flair for the aesthetics of the game. After all, to be able to supplant a fictional male porn star as the most famous Dirk in American culture, you have to at least have some personality. And Dirk, here's some advice: I wouldn't mention singing any David Hasselhoff songs at the free throw line again any time soon. And let's stay away from repeating Alec Baldwin jokes, too. It's just too soon.

5. Allen Iverson — I think literally every possible thing that could be written about A.I. has been. As The Answer moves into his golden years, looking back on his image throughout his career is sort of comical. Iverson is probably the poster boy for the NBA's ill-fated marriage to hip-hop in the post-Jordan era. However, while that combination may have been a failure because of a disconnect between corporate America and hip-hop culture, there's plenty of egg on the faces of the press that has covered Iverson. What if the entertainment media covering Anna Nicole Smith had been composed of mostly Amish women? Those glowing obituary profiles might have taken on a different tone.

What does this have to do with Iverson? Doesn't it seem at least somewhat similar to a horde of cynical white sportswriters trying to appreciate A.I.? In some ways, Iverson has been a pioneer of the league in opening the minds of NBA fans. Do you think we'd be as freely accepting of cornrows, baggy shorts, and tattoos as we are had Iverson not weathered the initial wave of glares and second-looks as he dared to challenge the clean-shaven corporate image of M.J.? I think his significance to the game will grow in decades to come.

4. Dwyane Wade — The continued wailing about referees' infatuation with Wade obscures a key point that continues to be overlooked. Shaq never quite meshed with Penny Hardaway, and we all remember the Kobe saga. Wade must have a humility about him that defies his stardom. Maybe he has us all fooled, but he certainly comes off as the unwilling superstar. One word of advice, though: change that spelling of that first name. The public warms up to stars when they know how to spell the one name they're known by. You know, all of the big stars, like Kobe, LeBron, Madonna, Eminem, and, of course, the easiest to spell, O.J.

3. Shaquille O'Neal — Before all of you Diesel bashers put a hole in your monitors, remember what we're looking at here: stardom. The man has more nicknames than anyone can keep track of, even if he does give 90% of them to himself. Anyone who can get away with calling himself "The Big Sewer" because he has a lot of, ummm, "stuff" in his game has to be in the top three. Fine, you want a basketball-related reason? If Shaq is as broken down as you say he is (and he is), why were NBA experts falling all over themselves to pick Miami to beat Chicago in the first round, despite Wade's busted-up shoulder? That is the mark of stardom.

2. LeBron James — In the name of transparency, let me admit to being a Cleveland homer and owner of a No. 23 wine-and-gold jersey. With that said, there's something about the LeBron era that is mysteriously unfulfilling. Sure, he'll have plenty of time to continue to build his legend, but King James seems to get a pass for his weaknesses more often than many other stars. I'm not of the opinion, like some, that a player can't be considered great without a championship. After all, is it the player's fault that ineptitude can trickle down from the front office into the coaching staff or the rest of the roster? But let's let LeBron determine his own greatness rather than throw expectations in front of him and expect him to grow into them. I'll crown King James at the top of the list when I see a little more steak and a little less sizzle.

1. Kobe Bryant — In the movie (and novel, Google tells me) "Sophie's Choice," Meryl Streep's title character has to choose which of her two children to sacrifice to a Nazi doctor and which to allow to live. In 2004, Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak faced the NBA equivalent. With Kobe and Shaq both serving notice that L.A. wasn't big enough for the two of them, Kupchak's faced a choice of superstars. Choose Shaq, surround him with shooters and players who fit the triangle, and contend for the next three to five NBA titles. Choose Kobe and face the possibility (now a reality) of extended mediocrity, trimmed with the brilliance of a star's magnetism in a city helplessly attracted to fame.

No player better represents the flashbulbs and glitter of NBA stardom than Kobe. Sure, he is limited in his ability to affect wins and losses. And, yes, his teammates either bristle at his ego or shrink from his competitiveness. But as the staple of Staples, the league's most dazzling talent has to be considered its greatest shooting (and rarely passing) star.