Sports Q&A: Raiders Draft; $50 Bail?

Chico from Los Angeles, CA writes, "Minnesota Vikings cornerback Cedric Griffin was arrested Sunday for refusing to pull up his pants in a Minneapolis nightclub. Where does such an offense fall in NFL commissioner Roger Goodell's conduct policy?"

Since when is "saggin'" a crime? I bet Goodell was celebrating, content that his recent harsh punishments served to Pacman Jones and Chris Henry had something to do with Griffin's pathetic attempt at a crime. The actual charge was "misdemeanor disorderly conduct," and as a member of the Vikings, Griffin should be ashamed of his criminal activity in light of 2004's Lake Minnetonka "sex boat" scandal. In that instance, several of the Vikings were caught with their pants down, but had a much better reason not to pull them up.

Come on, Griffin. $50 for bail? Pacman could have bailed you out 200 times over with just the cash on him. In your defense, you did scuffle with bouncers and police before they cuffed you. But since bail remained at $50, I'm guessing you got your ass handed to you, and the cops felt a little sympathetic. Did you even identify yourself as an NFL player? In other words, did you whip out your pistol? No? Smart move. Left in in the glove box, I bet. Great hiding place.

Did you even identify yourself as 'Cedric Griffin?' You did? And it didn't work? And you were even wearing your Vikings jersey? If only you would have known your bail was only $50; you would have realized that you had plenty of room left for a bribe. But there's always the next time, and the next time.

Griffin's indiscretion doesn't qualify for any type of "three strikes and you're out" policy, but it should qualify for the league's proposed "four balls and you take a walk" policy. Under these guidelines, should a player commit four crimes in which the total bail does not exceed $1,000, then he's suspended for four games. Under this policy, players would be discouraged from committing meaningless misdemeanors that serve only to clog the court systems and news outlets, when more heinous crimes deserve our attention. Some things are not worth reporting, like, for example, Chris Henry jaywalking, or Fred Smoot letting his registration expire, or Pacman smoking in a non-designated smoking area.

Darth from Arkabutla, MS asks "Who will the Oakland Raiders take with the first pick in the NFL draft on April 28th?"

Your guess is a good as Al Davis', and probably better. Obviously, the Raiders need a quarterback, but since when do the Raiders make personnel decisions based on need? The obvious choice is LSU's JaMarcus Russell. But, word is Davis has a soft sport for the draft's No. 1-rated prospect, Georgia Tech wide receiver Calvin Johnson, who has the speed and size to be a superstar, or a monumental bust.

The Raiders seem to be leaning towards Russell, a 6'5," 256-pound monster with an arm so strong that it reminds fans of that of a young Kenny Stabler, plus 50 yards. The Oakland front office is salivating at the prospect of Russell throwing downfield to a streaking Randy Moss. No, not a "streaking" Moss as in a "naked" Moss, but a Moss actually running full speed to make a catch. Has anyone ever witnessed that? Moss running full speed? It's rare. Almost as rare as seeing Jerry Porter happy with his playing time.

Russell's massive size also appeals to the Raiders, since they know he's sure to be taking a lot of hits behind their offensive line. Between Russell and Johnson, Russell seems to be the most logical pick and, coupled with the Raiders' receivers, gives the team a solid foundation for the future, and an immediate potential for the spectacular.

Of course, the Raiders could pull a fast one and take Brady Quinn. That would be a huge surprise to everyone, including Oakland's fans. Go ahead, Raider fans. Ask yourselves a question. Can you really see your team quarterbacked by a guy named Brady Quinn? Sure, you had a punter named Ray Guy once, but Guy eventually made his name synonymous with the Oakland Raiders. Brady Quinn is a great name for a homecoming king, or your investment broker, or a used car salesman, or the second-leading money winner on the Nationwide Tour, or the quarterback of NFL Europe’s Cologne Centurions. But quarterback for the Raiders? It can't happen. You can't go from playing college football in a place known for "Touchdown Jesus" to a place known as "The Black Hole."

If the Raiders take the best player in the draft, they'll choose Johnson, who would likely make an immediate impact. And Raider fans would be thrilled at the prospect of dressing up like refrigerators and calling themselves "Calvinators." What's keeping the Raiders from taking Johnson? Well, they need a quarterback much more than a wide receiver. Could Johnson even come close to reaching his potential under Oakland's current quarterback situation? Not a chance. So, they wouldn't get their money's worth. And do the Raiders want to introduce a young, impressionable rookie into a wide receiver corps that includes Moss and Porter? Their idea of rookie initiation is having Johnson skip practice. But it could be worse for Johnson — he could get drafted by the Lions.

Barring some kind of deal for a quarterback who's worth a damn, the Raiders have to take Russell. When they do, they'll name him starter minutes later. Johnson will breathe a sigh of relief, and the Raiders will be well on their way to a 3-13 year. But al least they have their quarterback of the future.

Don from Cleveland, OH writes, "NBA referee Joey Crawford called two technical fouls on Tim Duncan, then challenged the Spurs center to a fight during a game in Dallas. Who would win this fight?"

Let me get one thing straight. Tim Duncan had a call go against him? He had two? That's amazing! Actually, I think Crawford T'ed up Duncan for having the nappiest head in the NBA.

I'd have to go with Crawford in a fight. He's tough, and doesn't take any junk from anyone, not even his boss, David Stern. Crawford's a rogue referee. He'll T anyone up, and he's not afraid to skim a little extra money in a tax scheme involving unclaimed income from downgraded airline tickets. Anyone who'll go that far for a little extra cash is dangerous. He's a loose cannon. He's psycho, and he's bald. That’s a deadly combination.

Crawford’s been an NBA referee for 31 years, so he’s seen it all during his tenure. He survived the Bulls/Pistons matchups of the late-'80s-early-'90s, back when assault was an acceptable part of the game. He made it through Kurt Rambis’ reign of terror in the league. Heck, he even refereed games on CBS. I bet he even remembers the theme song ("You’ll see the best in basketball, when you watch the NBA. When you watch NBA on CBS"). This guy’s resilient.

Duncan, on the other hand, is a 6’10" candy boy who nearly always gets his way. He’s probably the least liked athlete to come out of Wake Forest since Billy Packer. Duncan hasn’t made a single spectacular move on the court, is a boring dunker, and actually uses the glass on some of his jumpers. What a loser. And he’s got no personality. Duncan may have other NBA refs in his back pocket, but not Crawford, by golly.

If it came down to fisticuffs, I predict a second period "T"KO for Crawford.

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