ADHD Power Hour: Upsets Edition

So I flunked out of college after my freshman year. Something about a 0.5 GPA violating academic probation.

Anyway, I got back in after it turned out I had ADHD. Once I got back and enrolled at the University of Arizona's Strategic Alternative Learning Techniques program and started taking my Ritalin like a good boy, everything turned out great. (Going to class helped, too.)

So why am I telling you this, and what in the h-e-double hockey sticks does it have to do with sports? Well, I'm introducing the ADHD Power Hour, where I put my meager attention span to good work and cover as many topics as possible in one column. (Think I can get Novartis, the company that produces Ritalin, to sponsor me? That would be sweet.)

So here we go, the first ever Novartis* ADHD Power Hour. I'm your host, Seth Doria.

16. I'm adding "Sunday at the Masters" to my top 10 of best sports days of the year. The key is picking somebody to win before the tournament. I picked Rory Sabbatini (UA alum), and he almost came through for me. I got more excited about his awesome put on the eighth hole (which briefly put him on top) than any golf shot ever. Rory didn't win, but he finished top five, so I'm talking half-credit on the pick.

15. NFL draft trade I'd like to see: Tampa's No. 4 and Chris Simms to Detroit for the Lions' No. 2 and one of their four fifth-rounders. At No. 2, Tampa takes Calvin Johnson. At No. 4, Detroit takes Joe Thomas (if he falls past Cleveland) or trades back even farther to a team in love with Adrian Peterson. I just don't think Tampa can take the chance that Cleveland trades out of No. 3 to a team looking to jump up for Johnson. I also don't think the Raiders will bite on Johnson. All signs still point to them going JaMarcus Russell.

14. Ever notice how much new Steelers coach Mike Tomlin looks like Omar Epps?

13. Don't know how many of you caught UFC 69 this Saturday, but the Matt Serra knockout of Georges St. Pierre was the UFC equivalent of Buster Douglas knocking out Mike Tyson. It's just an astonishing shocker.

I'm not sure if this was good for the UFC or not. Serra isn't exactly Mr. Q Rating on par with St. Pierre or Matt Hughes. My guess is the UFC brain trust lines Serra up against Hughes as quickly as possible in the hopes that Hughes takes his belt back, setting up a Hughes/St. Pierre rematch with St. Pierre trying to take the title way from Hughes for the second time. Other names to keep an eye on in the division: Josh Koscheck (whose win over Diego Sanchez was by far the worst fight of the night, but nonetheless puts him in title contention), Karo Parisyan, Sanchez (though he has some work to do after choking against Koscheck), and B.J. Penn (though he's fighting Jens Pulver at 155 at The Ultimate Fighter finale).

Anyway, this just shows why there are no undefeated MMA fighters. It's just too hard.

12. Loved Don Imus' apology: "I'm not a bad person. I'm a good person, but I said a bad thing." Dude, you called a group of black women "nappy-headed ho's." You make your living off being a cantankerous jerk. If you're not a "bad person," you're an effing idiot. Anyway, I'm sure he'll go to rehab and everything will be fine.

11. Michael Young is hitting .154, Mark Teixeira .211, Andruw Jones .130, Albert Pujols .136, and Alfonso Soriano .214.

10. Through week one of a very long season, the Mets and Angels are the two best teams in baseball.

9. RIP Darryl Stingley.

8. Got to love the pressure of being an NFL prospect. Ted Ginn, Jr. is either going to make or lose millions of dollars in the 4+ seconds he runs his 40 on Wednesday. A 4.2 or 4.3, he's in the top half of the first round. A 4.5 or worse and he risks a free fall, possibly all the way to the second. Crazy.

7. Anybody shocked by the fact that Bob Huggins ditched Kansas State after only one year hasn't been paying attention. The Wildcats were the rebound chick from the beginning. At least Michael Beasley is keeping his commitment. He and Bill Walker should make for an exciting tandem.

6. Back to the Masters: sometimes Michael Jordan missed the game winner. Sometimes Derek Jeter strikes out with runners in scoring position and two outs. Sometimes Tom Brady throws an interception to kill a game-winning drive in the playoffs. And I guess sometimes Tiger Woods falls apart with a green jacket on the line. It was weird to watch.

5. Battle of future stars tonight in the NL East with Cole Hamels and Philadelphia up against John Maine and the Mets. Should be a terrific game.

4. As of this writing, Chris Carpenter's MRI is not yet back. I'm worried as hell.

3. The NHL playoffs start on Wednesday. Only two months 'till we have a champion!

2. Speaking of drawn out, how's that whole liberation of Iraq going?

1. Don't snort Ritalin.

(*Novartis has absolutely nothing to do with this column, me, or anything else related to Sports Central. Use of their name is meant strictly to entertain the one percent of the population who thinks I'm funny. Please don't sue me.)

Seth Doria is a communications specialist and freelance blogger in St. Louis. For more, visit The Left Calf.