If You Can’t Stand the Heat…

As the NBA comes down the stretch run, it seems like the feeling most people have is that the Eastern Conference is wide open. Most of those same people, however, will in the next breath also say that if Shaq and Dwyane Wade are healthy, Miami will be the team to beat.

Based on the fact that they won it last year? I'm asking because I have no idea how anyone could make the case that the Miami Heat are a legitimate threat to beat any top team. From a basketball standpoint, it is just absurd.

Last year's Heat team had a certain "it" factor brewing in them at this point in the season. Lest we forget, the Pistons had the cruise control set to 60 wins at this point last year and nobody dared pick against them in the East. All the while, before Pat Riley even took the knife out of from between Stan Van's shoulder blades, the team started gelling, role players did their job, Wade used a combination of great shots and great calls to take over, and they steamrolled all comers for a title. Has-beens desperately playing for rings, a budding superstar trying to make a name for himself, and the last hurrah for a legend. It was the perfect storm.

That storm blew over before the buzzer sounded on opening night, when the Chicago Bulls came in and embarrassed them. Even when the team lost Shaq, you had to figure that they'd hang around the middle of the pack and make a push late when he's 100% because of Wade. Only problem is that Wade is overrated, over-hyped, and overwhelmed by carrying this team. He had one hell of a run in the playoffs last year, no doubt about it. Winning a ring earns a player a certain level of respect, but you have to draw the line somewhere.

I find it ludicrous that he is even mentioned in the same breath as Kobe and LeBron. You can't tell me that the four players playing with LeBron or the four players playing with Kobe are any better or worse than the four players playing with Wade when Shaq was out. Yet Kobe has the Lakers eight games above .500 in the West and LeBron has the Cavs sitting at the number two seed in the East. The Heat's record before Wade got hurt: 26-27. You're telling me that the best player on the defending champs, with a nearly identical squad minus Shaq, couldn't get his team to .500 after 50 games and yet I'm still supposed to consider him one of the best players in the league? That's a tough sell.

Then consider the fact that the Heat have assembled what is in all likelihood the most unlikable group of role players ever. Look at this roster, and I'm willing to bet you that you've watched one or more of the following players at some point in his career and thought, "Man, I can't stand him": Gary Payton, Antoine Walker, Jason Williams, and Alonzo Mourning. Pat Riley has success wherever he goes, but he is as shady as they come. If they make a biopic about his life, James Woods would be a no-brainer for the part.

Toss in the fact that I'll never be able to take Wade seriously again after seeing him in that wheelchair. One of the men of the square table should have told him that no man should ever use a wheelchair for an upper body injury. Ever. He would have looked manlier if Alonzo Mourning carried him to the locker room in one of those harnesses that parents carry around infants in at the beach.

Even Shaq has become a parody of himself at this point. Like when he used his Michael Corleone analogy to say that Kobe is Sonny and Wade is Michael, he could have just as easily been describing his career. It has played out exactly like the Godfather trilogy. Shaq's stint in Orlando was like the first one. It was sweet. It was really sweet. You could see that the foundation had been laid for something legendary, while still keeping you captivated the entire time it's going on.

Then the sequel, Shaq's time with the Lakers, was just like "The Godfather" Part II." It was everything you hoped would to be. Shaq wins three titles, stamps a Hall of Fame career, became larger than life, and had everyone talking about the possibility of greatest center ever. Even Kobe played out like the young Vito parts. It was a great story all on its own, but just added to the mystique by happening basically at the same time.

Unfortunately, the third parts are eerily similar as well. They are both brutal. Shaq seems to be aging faster than Robin Williams in Jack. He's about 20% of the player he was before the trade, and if he gets healthy by the playoffs, that number might jump to 30%. Then again, it might not. It's the exact feeling I get looking at Old Michael in the third one thinking, "this just isn't the same."

That's the feeling I get from this entire Heat team. It just isn't the same. The sooner we all accept this, the easier it will be to enjoy watching LeBron try to get past the Pistons again.