Sometimes you can find comfort in the face of an old acquaintance. Sometimes the sight of a person you haven't seen in a long time brings back fond memories, and even if you never really liked them much, you'll happily reminisce for a minute.
And sometimes people outstay their welcome, and it starts to piss you off.
Alonzo Mourning and Dikembe Mutombo: you're starting to piss me off.
Hey, I listen to Pavement and Superchunk albums with the same nostalgia for the early-'90s as everyone else, but the surprise resurgence of these two particular players is really starting to grind on my already tattered nerves.
Normally, this would be the part where I'd stop foaming, and logically over the course of a paragraph or two explain the reasons why I get angry every time I see either of these two on the court.
Unfortunately, there aren't really any reasons. Okay, there are like one and a half reasons.
One is that as a Torontonian, city by-law requires me to wish a communicable disease on Alonzo Mourning at least once a week before bed, at least until he's no longer being paid by the Raptors.
After that, things get a little fuzzy.
The half reason is best described as a combination of the discomfort I feel looking at a 40-year-old Mutombo, and fury over the fact that he still wags his finger at the expense of transition offense, even though the guy he blocked will dunk over him the next six times down the floor.
I recognize Mutombo would struggle to help the transition offense of the Hebrew Academy of the Five Towns and Rockaway, and yes, I hated Mourning long before he was traded to the Raptors. So I know I'm reaching here, but you don't ask how a rainbow's made, so don't bother me on this.
The worst part is that I thought we were done with these guys. Most of the players from their drafts and generation are long gone, and the ones still around are rarely contributors.
Everything was going so well.
In 2003, Mutombo played just 24 games with the Nets and was inching towards the door like Michael Richards at a UNCF meeting.
Ditto for 'Zo, whose pathetic, Karl Malone-esqe hunt for a ring was being stymied by an uncooperative kidney.
Note: I'm wish kidney failure on no one. I'd love to see a healthy Mourning, just behind a Sun Network studio desk where he belongs.
And when Mourning played 49 games between 2003-2005, I thought it was time.
But then, as if waking from a blissful dream to a 6 AM wake-up call, it all went horribly wrong.
After successfully screwing the Raptors out of more than $10 million, ruining Rob Babcock's career (which, let's be honest, was ripe for the picking), and getting himself relocated on his old team/a championship contender, 'Zo plays 65 games in 2006, blocks close to 200 shots, and, of course, gets his friggin' ring.
Meanwhile, Mutombo is back in business in Houston, and while he hasn't put up huge numbers, still cracks the lineup enough to wag that stupid finger I've been haunted by since he was swatting Alvin Williams during the 2000 Eastern Conference Semifinals.
So what does this all prove?
Not much really, except that sometimes the people you like are the first to go, while just as often the ones you're dying to be rid of hang around like a once-great shot blocker on an NBA bench or, I suppose, an aging left-hander in a major league bullpen.
God, I hate sports sometimes.
For more from Aaron Miller, visit GrandstandAdmissions.com.
February 7, 2007
Chad:
How can you hate on two of the most inspirational players in the league?
‘Zo, of course, overcame his health problems and has stood valiantly for Shaq thoughout injury time.
Dikembe, who is one of the most giving NBA players of our day (building hospitals in Africa and helping many other places) is still putting up amazing numbers in both blocks and rebounds while the Rockets would have otherwise been left helpless with the injury to Yao.
Your hate for these players is very unprofessional. You should be inspired by their stories.
February 7, 2007
Tyler:
Aaron Miller you sound like a complete idiot. Zo and Mutombo are definitely two of the most influential players in the game today and possibly ever and they don’t deserve disrespect from a jerk like you.
Zo didn’t screw Toronto over. NJ and Babcock did. Even Babcock said he wouldn’t blame Zo if he didn’t play for the Raptors. These NBA franchises are just big businesses who think they can screw over the little guys whenever they want (e.g. Larry Brown).
I knew someone whose kidneys were failing and they could barely walk around their own home, let alone be an integral part of a professional basketball team. A big chunk of his career was snatched from him so he probably feels there is something missing. Plus, he and Dike just have a serious love for the game. I love watching these two guys play because they have passion.
Zo, Shaq, and Dike are the last of a dying breed. Enjoy them while you can.
February 8, 2007
Matty:
What gives you the right to bag out these once great players. Fair enough, they have passed their prime, but they still are contributing. Last time i checked Zo was averaging 10 points near on 6 boards and nearly 3 blocks a game, not bad for someone who narrowly avoided dialysis. I think you should re-think so of your statements, and perhaps keep them to yourself.
February 9, 2007
Euno:
I’m going to assume you were hungry or tired or something to say something like this. Who was the Rocket’s inside presence when Yao has been injured? Sure T-Mac scores all the points, but as he showed earlier in his career, T-Mac scoring isn’t going to win games. Mutombo and Battier have been picking up the slack and offer a great supporting cast for T-Mac. As for Zo, you think the Heat won last year because Shaq clocked in 45 minutes a game? Come on, man. They’re both really good players and both inspirational guys. I personally think they should stay at least in basketball for the rest of their lives; with the NBA devolving into thuggery and all this nonsense, two true gentlemen would help not only to instill a new generation but remind others how basketball players should be. That, and they could still pack YOU if you ever had to face them so I suggest unless you’re the one pouring forty a night against them that you reconsider your comments.
February 11, 2007
John:
Guys, guys, guys, you’re mis-speaking when you’re calling NBA guys ‘players’. They’re performers. Remember, the NBA isn’t actually a sport anymore, it’s just mere entertainment, and it’s bad entertainment at that. Go to Rucker park for one-on-one basketball, watch college for team basketball, because basketball the NBA is not.