Boston’s Never-Ending Youth Movement

It may have been the Ghost of Wilt Chamberlain, or a retaliatory blow struck by karma in her defense of equilibrium. Perhaps it was a conspiracy, or the climax of some melodrama staged for the entertainment of the gods. Whatever the inspiration, some unseen force drove NBA schedule makers to bring two Los Angeles teams into Boston for back-to-back games last week. Awaiting them were the hometown Celtics and their 12-game losing streak that was but one shy of the longest in team history.

What more painful metropolis to help the once-mighty Boston Celtics set a dubious franchise record than Los Angeles, the city that ensnared itself in Celtics folklore as a seven-time victim of Boston's 16 NBA championships? And so their delegates were dispatched.

On Wednesday, with the Lakers in town, the Celtics fell behind by 12 in the first quarter and never regained the lead, falling 111-98 for their franchise-tying 13th consecutive time. Boston was without the services of captain Paul Pierce, out since December 20 with a left foot injury, and 18-game starter Tony Allen, who tore ligaments in his left knee on January 10 and will miss the remainder of the season.

Two nights later, the Celtics cemented that franchise mark with their 100-89 Groundhog Day loss to the Clippers at T.D. Banknorth Garden. In so doing, The Green validated Punxsutawney Phil's prognostication earlier in the day that, indeed, it would be an early spring.

Short winters were a phenomenon unknown to previous generations of Celtics fans, but times have sure changed. Lame duck schedules now fill the New England April as reliably as Easter egg hunts and budding tulip beds. Boston has missed the playoffs in eight of the last 14 seasons, and was a first-round victim four other times over that span. Nearly 21 years have passed since the Celtics last hung a championship banner from their overcrowded rafters. Only the jersey numbers from those bygone days are hoisted anymore — Dennis Johnson, Larry Bird, Kevin McHale, Reggie Lewis, Robert Parrish, and, most recently, Cedric Maxwell. Given Paul Pierce still has several more productive seasons, there don't figure to be more ceremonies any time soon.

And their quests have changed as well. If a championship is the stated goal of the post-Red Auerbach regime, it is in lip service only. The reigning administration seeks the Larry O'Brien Trophy with the prowess of Monty Python's King Arthur in his calamitous search for the Holy Grail, equipped with Danny Ainge pointing his phantom horse in the opposite direction of the postseason and GM Chris Wallace rhythmically banging two coconut shells together.

Since his 2003 appointment as Executive Director of Basketball Operations, Ainge's plan — which is perennially diametric to reaching the NBA postseason — has been the maximization of ping pong balls in June. These balls, of course, are redeemable in ever-younger draft picks, such as Ohio State's 7'0" frosh phenom, Greg Oden. The afternoon after the Celtics' epic losing streak was established, Celtics Nation found itself tuned into the Buckeyes' game, where the former Indianapolis high school standout scored 16 points and grabbed 11 rebounds in a 63-54 win at Michigan State.

Not since 1997, when a 15-67 record virtually assured the Celtics faithful and incoming wonder coach Rick Pitino of the draft rights to Tim Duncan, has so much energy been invested in one draft pick. And for good reason. Legitimate centers are a scarce commodity in today's NBA and the last Indianan drafted by the Celtics produced three of those elusive Larry O'Brien trophies.

As of now, the Celtics' current roster includes four players — Kendrick Perkins, Al Jefferson, Sebastian Telfair, and Gerald Green — who entered the NBA as first-round draft picks right out of high school and whose classes have not yet graduated college. Currently at an average age of 24.8 years, the Celtics roster has been among the youngest in the NBA over the last three years.

Of course, all this youth breeds mistakes, which in turn begets chronic losing, and — most importantly — more ping pong balls, this in spite of The Green's envious address. The Atlantic Division vies with MLB's National League West and the NFL's NFC West as the worst in all of American team sports and sinks to increasingly deplorable depths each week. This past Sunday the Toronto Raptors defeated the Clippers, marking only the second day all season in which any Atlantic team reached as much as two games above .500. The once 5-3 New Jersey Nets did it back on November 17 before starting a six-game losing streak the next night.

But, for the balance of this season, it will be the 12-36 Memphis Grizzlies and not the divisional-leading Raptors that occupy the focus of Danny Ainge and the Greg Oden Welcoming Committee. To that extent, the Celtics may best serve their future by following Punxsutawney Phil's lead and resume their hibernation until spring.