On the Twelfth Day of Christmas…

When I was young, my dad used to always take me and my siblings to our Uncle Red's house for Christmas Eve. To paint a picture, imagine multiple families, four generations, and enough food and drinks to serve the whole state of Hawaii. For us kids, it was a chance to hang out with our cousins, who we rarely saw. For the adults, it was an excuse to have a few beers to warm up on those chilly Hawaiian winters.

But for the youngest generation, this was more about seeing the "big guy," and I didn't mean my Uncle Red, my Uncle Junior, or my Uncle Chris, who all were healthy enough to pose as Kris Kringle if needed. We all wanted to sit on Santa's lap.

Of course, this was the Hawaiian Santa. He didn't come down the chimney, we didn't have one. Jolly old St. Nick was brown, not white like every other Santa we came across. And the most glaring difference of all, he spoke like my Dad in pidgin. (For those of you who aren't familiar with the artful linguistics of pidgin, go to Hawaii, and the first time you can't understand what a person is saying, they are probably speaking pidgin.)

Of course, however, for us to see "the guy in the red suit" we had to sing Christmas songs. My favorite, the 12 days of Christmas — the Hawaiian version.

Everyone has their own version of the 12 days of Christmas, and so does the NBA. It just so happens that it's quite similar to the original, although the meaning behind each day, may strike you as a bit odd for the seasons.

On the 12th day of Christmas, Commissioner David Stern gave to me:

12 Drummers Drumming — If you've never been to a Los Angeles Lakers game, they've done it again. The Lakers brought celebrities to the court, alternate color jerseys, new lighting system that only lights up the court and not the stands, and now this: the Los Angeles Lakers have a live band. We're talking tubas, trumpets, drums, the whole kit-and-caboodle. It's not only unnecessary, it takes away some of the only affordable seats in the Staples Center. Coming soon in 2007, banners to run though to start the game and the second half.

11 Pipers Piping — The 2003 NBA draft may go down as the deepest draft in the History of the NBA. This season, the class' third, may yield as many as 11 players with either MVP, all-star, or breakout seasons. Here is the list of the most capable. LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh, Carmelo Anthony all have opportunities to be All-NBAers. Josh Howard, David West, and Chris Kaman have all-star potential. Leandro Barbosa, Luke Walton, and Boris Diaw have opportunities to take their game to higher heights.

10 Lords-a-Leaping — The Phoenix Suns, winners of 10 straight as of Monday, are back to old form. In last year's playoffs, they were worn out by two straight seven-game series. They have a big man now in Amare Stoudemire and Steve Nash is doing it again. This year, the Suns make it to the Finals.

9 Ladies Dancing — The Allen Iverson trade is the biggest thing to come out of Philly since Rocky Balboa. He is one of the best players in the history of the NBA. A.I. took Philadelphia out of the doldrums of the NBA and to perennial Eastern Conference contenders. A terrible GM made A.I. waste the prime years of his life, and now there may be just a few years left. Boston, Minnesota, L.A. Clippers, Charlotte, Sacramento, Chicago, Indiana, Golden State, and Denver have got a shot. Philly does not want to send him to a competitor, with that being said, look for A.I. to end up in Chicago. General Manager Billy King has never made any sense, why start now?

8 Maids-A-Milking — The NBA is getting back to the old school, where you can only go as far as your point guard. These eight playmakers will make the difference on whether their teams will be playing come June.

Steve Nash, the two-time defending MVP, has the Suns moving on all cylinders.

Jason Kidd came into the year aspiring to average a triple-double for the year, and if he can come close, New Jersey can come out of the pathetic East.

Chauncey Billups, Mr. Big Shot, enough said.

Tony Parker, he does just enough to keep the Spurs going in the right direction, and it doesn't hurt that he has the Big Fundamental down low.

Chris Paul has the over-achieving Hornets gaining more and more confidence every game. On any other team, he'd be an all-star and an MVP candidate.

Deron Williams is one of the main reasons that Utah is competing this year. Averaging almost a double-double a game, he has Jerry Sloan eying the playoffs, which is always dangerous.

Andre Miller came in a bit chunky to start the year, but a month into the season, his stats are fat. Miller is averaging a robust 13 points, 5 boards, and 10 assists per game. Even with a week front court, Miller has the Nuggets staring at gold out west.

Finally, a name that is very popular this week, Allen Iverson. He averages 31 points, 7 assists, and 2 steals. I guarantee the team he goes to will be in the conference finals.

7 Swans-a-Swimming — Some people have pools on which coach will be the first fired, and there are seven coaches that I feel are either singing their swan song or swimming for one more year. This means you, Doc Rivers, Flip Saunders, Terry Stotts, Sam Mitchell, Mike Fratello, and, of course, Isiah Thomas.

6 Geese-a-Laying — There are a few teams who have been laying some eggs out there, compared to where many people thought they'd be.

The Los Angeles Clippers were everyone's favorite underdog last year. This season, the Clips are just dogs. To start the year, Los Angeles is 10-10, including two blowout losses to the Spurs in less than a week. Not exactly starting the way you finish.

The Miami Heat won the title last year, and this year they look nothing like that team. The Heat have no hunger and play an ugly style of basketball, with bad shots and no team chemistry — a far cry from last year's unit of veterans searching for a title.

New Jersey has arguably one of the most talented trios in all of the NBA. The problem is that Vince Carter, Kidd, and Richard Jefferson can rarely get it all together. Lucky for them, they are in the putrid Atlantic division where at 8-12, they're in first.

Chicago had many people thinking championship with the busy offseason it had. The only problem is that the Bulls failed to fill their biggest hole: a go-to-guy. What they did instead was bring in an overrated center (Ben Wallace) who has performed well below the monster contract he received. The Bulls desperately need Iverson to get back in contention.

I don't get Indiana. They have veteran leadership, a go-to-guy, but have nothing to show for it. Sixth right now in the Eastern Conference is saying something and not in the way you'd hope.

The coveted sixth geese laying an egg is the aforementioned Sixers. Getting rid of your franchise player is the best way to send a team into disarray.

5 Golden Rings — The first of the five most prized trophies at the end of the year will go to Yao Ming (MVP). Yes, this is a huge darkhorse, but if Yao can keep up his 26 and 10, plus carry the Rockets into the playoffs when Tracy McGrady inevitably goes down, he deserves it.

Emeka Okafor (Defensive Player of the Year) is averaging 3 blocks per game and 7 defensive boards, he changes everything around him, and unlike Ben Wallace, he actually is an offensive threat, as well ... imagine that.

Adam Morrison (Rookie of the Year) has gotten off to a horrific start, but that's expected from a rookie. With no other rookie really stepping up after Brandon Roy's injury, Morrison will have the opportunity later in the year to show that he can be a prolific scorer in the league.

Jerry Sloan (Coach of the Year), there's nothing much to say about him, other than he finds a way to win. A healthy Phoenix Suns (NBA champion) has it all this year, and will have the experience to go further. The question is, will the competitiveness of the Western Conference prove to hurt the representative much like it did to Dallas in the NBA finals?

4 Calling Birds — The Final Four teams left at the end of the season will be Dallas and Phoenix in the West and Orlando and Cleveland in the East.

3 French Hens — Three of the most prized athletes in the NBA have all been rumored to be traded this year. Allen Iverson's dealing has already come to fruition. Kevin Garnett, for the sake of him alone, unless they win the A.I. lottery, should be saved for the simple reason that he is a top-five player and should have the opportunity to play like it for a championship quality team. Finally, Paul Pierce.

When's the last time three future Hall of Famers were all on the trading block to start the year? It's unbelievable. The truth of the matter is when the final whistle blows in June, only Iverson will be wearing a different jersey.

2 Turtle Doves — The NBA finals will be between Cleveland and Phoenix. A year of maturity for LeBron in the playoffs and a weak Eastern Conference means that anybody who gets in the tournament could get through. When that's the case, go with the best player, and that's James.

And a partridge in a pear tree — WELCOME BACK, LEATHER BASKETBALL. It only took the whole league complaining for the entire start of the season to make it happen.

Now if only I could do that to bring back my Uncle Red's Christmas holiday parties.

On the 12th day of Christmas my tutu gave to me...