Turkey, Booze, and the NFC Playoff Race

I love Thanksgiving. Not only are there great quantities of fantastic food, but I get to drink a lot of whiskey in front of my wife's family, then pass out — and nobody thinks twice. It's the best day of the year, and no one will ever convince me otherwise.

(The first four days of the NCAA tournament come in as a collective second, followed by my birthday, day one of the NFL draft, and New Year's Eve.)

But Thanksgiving doesn't just have food and alcohol. It has football, too. And this year, we get a third game with Kansas City and Denver from Arrowhead on the NFL Network. It's like marrying a (insert gender here) and finding out (he/she) is secretly into (insert fetish here) just like you. It's awesome!

And to top it all off, when you get past all the turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, pie, whiskey, and handcuffs, Thanksgiving is also the unofficial beginning to the NFL mad rush for the postseason. And, really, what can be greater than that?

In the NFC, the last six weeks are going to be like an old-school WWF Royal Rumble, except unscripted and without the steroids (theoretically). Of the 16 teams, only the Redskins, Lions, Bucs, and Cardinals are dead in the water. That leaves 12 teams fighting for six spots. The Bears are way ahead at 9-2. Five others are 6-4. Three are 5-5. Three are 4-6. Six weeks left.

The rundown (in reverse order of hope):

12. Philadelphia Eagles (5-5) — The toughest remaining schedule (opponents have a 58% win percentage), plus only two home games, plus Jeff Garcia, equals wait 'till next year.

11. Green Bay Packers (4-6) — You know Brett Favre is going to soldier on, but of their last six games, five are against teams in the playoff hunt. There are just too many other teams to climb over.

10. St. Louis Rams (4-6) — They actually have the easiest remaining schedule, with four home games and opponents' win percentage of only 42%, but the loss of Orlando Pace has crippled what was already a staggering offense. Local columnist Bernie Miklasz is actually pining for the days of Mike Martz. Then again, he's a fat idiot who wears nerd glasses.

9. San Francisco 49ers (5-5) — I really want to rate these guys higher, and I fully admit I was way wrong about them early in the season. The young defense put together by Mike Nolan is fast and aggressive, and you can see Alex Smith maturing game-by-game. I'm just afraid four road games against St. Louis, New Orleans, Seattle, and Denver will leave them short. I hope I'm wrong.

8. Carolina Panthers (6-4) — It's tough picking the first team out of the South, and Carolina gets the boot for two reasons: 1) They finish at Atlanta and at New Orleans; 2) Jake Delhomme really is turning into The White Aaron Brooks. I just feel better picking against him.

7. Minnesota Vikings (4-6) — As cold as this team has been, I should really have them below the Panthers, especially since they have absolutely no chance of winning their division. The reason I have them higher is because of their relatively cake schedule, with only the Bears a sure shot at making the show. The other five: Arizona, Detroit, Jets, Green Bay, St. Louis. There's a definite run for the taking there.

6. Atlanta Falcons (5-5) — The first wildcard and six seed gets the nod because they're getting healthy, get to face Jason Campbell, Bruce Gradkowski, and Jeff Garcia, and get both New Orleans and Carolina at home.

5. New York Giants (6-4) — The second wildcard falls behind the Cowboys for the NFC East after their loss to Tennessee this Sunday (write it down), and never quite catches up. Something needs to click for Eli Manning, or they're going to have another postseason meltdown like they did last year against the Panthers.

4. Seattle Seahawks (6-4) — NFC West champion and four seed barely survives a San Francisco run. I'm putting a lot of stock in Matt Hasselbeck's ability to get this pass offense going. Plus, I'd really like to see Mike Holmgren's head explode if Seattle gets past round one and has to go to Chicago. That would be fun.

3. New Orleans Saints (6-4) — NFC South champion and three seed has the offense to compete against anybody. The defense has given up 69 points in the past two games, so that's a concern. Fortunately for the Saints, only two of their remaining six opponents feature an offense ranked in the top half of the league (Cowboys, Giants). I'd feel even better about this if the Saints gave the ball to Deuce McAllister more.

2. Dallas Cowboys (6-4) — Tony Romo has made a huge difference in the psyche of this team. Not only is the offense better, but so is the defense. They shut down the best offense since the '01 Rams, and have a plus-six turnover differential. It would just be a shame if the career of Bill Parcells ended on a missed kick by Mike Vanderjerk. Wait, no it wouldn't.

1. Chicago Bears (9-1) — A no-brainer to land home field, but I'm not sure they run the table to Miami. If I'm a Bears fan, I'm never going to be completely confident with Rex Grossman as a playoff quarterback. Just too many bad decisions.

Wildcard — Saints over Falcons, Seahawks over Giants
Divisional — Bears over Seahawks, Cowboys over Saints
NFC Championship — Cowboys over Bears

Seth Doria is a freelance writer based out of St. Louis, MO. His weekly NFL picks and daily NCAA men's basketball picks can be found at The Left Calf.