NFL Week 2 Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* Listening to ESPN's Monday Night Football announcers is like watching the game with your friend who thinks he knows a lot about football, and won't shut up about it, but really doesn't know anything.

* If NFL commentators really think the chicken dance is a brilliant creative stroke, they need to get out more. A lot more.

* James Brown has brought an air of professionalism and credibility to the CBS pregame show.

* FOX's pregame show retains one huge advantage over those of CBS and especially ESPN: no recently-retired players. The guys on the program don't have a lot of friends still in the league, so they're not afraid to criticize people.

* With the possible exception of whoever came up with the opening to NBC's Sunday night broadcast, no one on planet Earth hates football fans more than the program directors at ESPN. Why on earth was Dwyane Wade in the booth on MNF? I mean, he probably knows more about the game than Tony Kornheiser, but what did Wade add to the broadcast?

***

I didn't address NBC's NFL coverage last week, but they're a new player in the game (back after a long break, actually, but it comes to the same thing) and it's time for an early evaluation of their work so far. Bob Costas is a smart, funny, knowledgeable guy, and it's nice to have him covering the NFL on a weekly basis. Sterling Sharpe, however, is either trying too hard to be outrageous (which is to say, trying at all) or is simply a clown. Having fun on the set is great, and that's a big part of why FOX's pregame show has been the league's best for so long, but there's nothing wrong with honesty and dignity, either.

NBC's broadcast team of Al Michaels and John Madden doesn't bother me. I know a lot of people don't like Madden any more, but he's still got some worthwhile things to say, and he and Michaels have some legitimate chemistry. I've already expressed my feelings on that bizarre and pointless three-minute opening NBC is using, but it was also disappointing to see Andrea Kremer talking about shoulder pad coolers while the referee was announcing a penalty. Getting to hear the ref's calls is a basic right to which football fans should be entitled.

The NFL Network keeps advertising that its games this season will be "by football people for football people." Let's hope so. ESPN's Week 1 team of Brad Nessler, Dick Vermeil, and Ron Jaworski was the best I've seen in years (though Jaws seemed like he was trying too hard), and if the NFL Network can come close to that, I'll be happy.

For now, on to the power rankings. The number in brackets indicates last week's rank.

1. Cincinnati Bengals [2] — The top four teams are very close right now, and I'm not convinced that Cincinnati belongs in this position, but the Bengals have started strong, winning by double-digits at Kansas City and routing their biggest rival by 17 points. The defense, other than a long pass completion to Braylon Edwards, was effective, but the stars here are on offense. RB Rudi Johnson shone most brightly on Sunday, but Carson Palmer put up big numbers and young receivers Chris Henry and Kelley Washington look ready to step into the spotlight.

2. Indianapolis Colts [1] — So far, the 2006 Colts look a lot like the 2004 Colts. The pass offense is incredible, and Indianapolis will get its points, but the defense can't keep up. In the absence of a running game, Indy may have trouble keeping its defense off the field, and it won't be able to close games against good teams. Against Houston on Sunday, the Colts built up a 30-3 lead before Houston scored three touchdowns in the fourth quarter. The final score and stat line may be a little misleading, but David Carr passed for three touchdowns and a 140.2 rating against this defense. Next week's game against Jacksonville could tell us a lot about how this team handles adversity.

3. Jacksonville Jaguars [4] — It's tempting to dismiss them as a serious contender because the offense is so mediocre, but the '06 Jaguars could follow the blueprint of a team like the '02 Bucs. They controlled the second half against Pittsburgh, eventually winning a 15-minute edge in time of possession and keeping the Steelers without a rushing first down. The middle of Jacksonville's defense, with Mike Peterson behind John Henderson and Marcus Stroud, may be the best in the league, and DB Rashean Mathis will have quarterbacks worried all season.

4. Chicago Bears [7] — Through two weeks, no other team has shown the same balance between offense and defense. The Bears averaged over six yards per play against a Detroit defense that held Seattle under 4.5, and Rex Grossman has looked fantastic the last two weeks. Lovie Smith and Ron Rivera's defense sacked Jon Kitna six times and forced three turnovers. If Chicago plays like this at Minnesota in Week 3, I'll probably move them to the top of the rankings.

5. San Diego Chargers [15] — The fifth through 12th spots are really close this week, and San Diego probably doesn't deserve to be this high without having beaten a good team. They could drop several spots during their bye next week. For now, though, they've posted a +60 point differential, the best in the league through two weeks. The schedule gets a lot harder starting in Week 4, when the Chargers travel to Baltimore.

6. Pittsburgh Steelers [6] — When your best players come up small, wins are hard to come by. Against Jacksonville, Ben Roethlisberger was sacked twice, completed half his passes (for under five yards per attempt), and threw two late interceptions. Willie Parker averaged less than two yards per carry and finished with 20 rushing yards. Hines Ward had two catches for 29 yards. Joey Porter and Troy Polamalu combined for three tackles and an assist. Pittsburgh will come around, but with their next two games against Cincinnati and at San Diego, a 1-3 start isn't out of the question.

7. New England Patriots [5] — Dominated the Jets in a way the score doesn't indicate, but nearly lost the game anyway. The defense held New York without a rushing first down, but couldn't get off the field, allowing the Jets to convert over 60% of their third downs. Tom Brady struggled again, completing barely half his passes and throwing an interception when New England was in scoring position. Through two games, TE Ben Watson leads the team in receptions (6) and yards (89). Deion Branch is an elite receiver, and this team is not the same without him.

8. Seattle Seahawks [3] — Seattle's defense is going to be exceptional this year. It shut down Detroit in Week 1 and did a pretty good job on Arizona's explosive offense in Week 2, holding Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald to a combined 114 yards. The offense is in trouble, though. Steve Hutchinson is gone, Porkchop Womack is injured, and Shaun Alexander is barely averaging three yards per carry. Tight end Jerramy Stevens is hurt, and Itula Mili hasn't produced much in his absence. QB Matt Hasselbeck had a terrible game against the Cardinals. Seattle actually scored fewer points against Arizona — playing at home — than the 49ers did on the road.

9. Philadelphia Eagles [9] — Should feel sick at the game they gave away to the Giants. The Eagles dominated the contest, shutting down Tiki Barber and humiliating Eli Manning. L.J. Smith outgained Jeremy Shockey by almost 100 yards. Despite the loss, Philadelphia is clearly the best team in the NFC East, and if Andy Reid can keep the group together and start closing out games, the Eagles should be a Super Bowl contender. They will miss Jevon Kearse, who's out for the season with a knee injury.

10. New York Giants [10] — Little Manning showed some serious resilience, but for three quarters he looked like one of the worst starting QBs in the league. With the Eagles ganging up to stop Barber, all Manning could do was get sacked, producing nothing for his team. If I were playing the Giants, I would dare them to try to win through the air. The defense struggled against Philadelphia, too, giving up six plays of 20 yards or more in the first half. Osi Umenyiora, an all-pro a year ago, has looked very ordinary so far this season.

11. Atlanta Falcons [11] — Actually had the same number of first downs as Tampa Bay this Sunday, with a lower third down conversion percentage. Michael Vick threw for under 100 yards and was sacked three times, the Bucs' Joey Galloway caught nine passes for 161 yards, and Atlanta's kicking game was terrible, with four missed field goals, including a block. The running game was exceptional, but you can't win with the option in today's NFL, which is why the Falcons are still outside the top 10.

12. Baltimore Ravens [14] — This is probably too low. The Ravens beat Tampa by a wider margin than Atlanta did, and the defense looks incredible, reminiscent of the Marvin Lewis years. Unfortunately, the offense was also reminiscent of the Marvin Lewis years on Sunday. Baltimore's schedule gets very tough for the next few weeks, and while it doesn't seem likely, it's not inconceivable that the Ravens could drop to 2-4 if things go the wrong way.

13. Minnesota Vikings [13] — DE Erasmus James was hurt on Sunday, and he'll miss the rest of the season. That hurts a team that doesn't have a lot of depth on the defensive line. The good news for Minnesota is that the team is 2-0, and the Lions and Packers appear to be two of the worst teams in the league, meaning the Vikings should get four free wins that could help carry them to a playoff position next January.

14. Denver Broncos [12] — Jake Plummer had another rough game, but it's way too early to bench him for Jay Cutler. Plummer has always been inconsistent, and two bad games to start the season shouldn't convince the Broncos to give up on him. This team has serious postseason aspirations, and Plummer gives Denver a better chance of realizing them than Cutler does.

15. Dallas Cowboys [17] — What an ugly game Sunday night. Dallas and Washington combined for 20 penalties, accounting for eight first downs and over 200 yards. There were eight accepted penalties, plus two more declined, in the first quarter alone, including four accepted and one declined just on the Cowboys' first drive. There was at least one penalty that shouldn't have been called, when DeMarcus Ware was charged with roughing the passer at the end of the first quarter. Ware made an obvious effort not to hit Mark Brunell, and calling the penalty perverted the spirit of the rule, which is designed to protect quarterbacks from vicious or unnecessary hits, not to punish defenders for hustling.

16. Buffalo Bills [18] — Unimpressive win against the Dolphins, especially on offense, but the sack machine was turned all the way on, as Buffalo got to Daunte Culpepper seven times, piling up 60 sack yards. Buffalo wraps up its season-opening tour of the division at home against the Jets in Week 3, matching up its impressive pass defense against the apparent renaissance of Chad Pennington's career. The Bills should win without too much trouble, and if they don't, you can forget all the nice things I've been saying about them for the last few weeks.

17. Carolina Panthers [8] — I'm not necessarily saying this is the case, but it's worth considering at this point whether Jake Delhomme might not be a very good quarterback. For each of the last two seasons, he just threw to one exceptional receiver over and over (Muhsin Muhammad in 2004 and Steve Smith in 2005) while good defense and smart coaching covered for his deficiencies. This season, with things breaking down in other areas, Delhomme's weaknesses are becoming more apparent. Just a theory.

18. Kansas City Chiefs [19] — The second-highest 0-2 team, Kansas City lost to Cincinnati and took Denver to overtime on the road. Larry Johnson had a nice game, but the passing attack is nowhere to be found. I don't know if it's the absence of coaches Dick Vermeil and Al Saunders, the injury to Trent Green, the advancing age of key contributors like Eddie Kennison and Tony Gonzalez, or something else entirely, but if this offense (16 points in two games) doesn't get on track, the Chiefs won't go .500 this year, much less make the playoffs.

19. New Orleans Saints [23] — By far the lowest-rated 2-0 team, and they'll make a big jump in the rankings if they upset Atlanta on MNF next week. For now, though, New Orleans has edged two terrible teams, beating the Browns and Packers by an average of six points. Most worrisome is the offensive show the Saints allowed Green Bay to put on, giving up 340 passing yards and 27 points a week after the Packers were held to 170 passing yards and no points.

20. New York Jets [24] — Losing to the Patriots is nothing to be ashamed of, but the Jets' four-place jump in the rankings has less to do with their results against New England than the performances of teams like Washington and St. Louis. Chad Pennington looks great so far — and "so far" is an important qualifier — but the running game still hasn't materialized. The Jets will lose their next three games.

21. Miami Dolphins [22] — The hype for this team got pretty out of control coming into this season, and so far, the Dolphins haven't done anything to justify it. Daunte Culpepper has been somewhere between mediocre and bad, with a 69.2 passer rating, more sacks (10) than completions of 20 yards or more (8), and no significant rushing accomplishments. The rest of the team isn't innocent, but Miami's going to need a lot more from the passing game if it wants to be in playoff contention past November.

22. Washington Redskins [16] — No team with Super Bowl aspirations can have Brunell lining up under center at this point in his career. Before the fourth quarter, Brunell had only completed three passes to his wide receivers. The team misses Clinton Portis on offense and Shawn Springs on defense, but the problems here ultimately rest with the quarterback and the coaching staff. If Washington doesn't turn things around really quickly, Joe Gibbs should start Jason Campbell. He can't play any worse than Brunell did on Sunday night, and this is starting to look like a rebuilding year in Washington.

23. St. Louis Rams [20] — The 49ers have won only five of their last 18 games, and three of those five victories have come against the Rams. St. Louis couldn't protect its own quarterback against the 49ers, nor could it get to San Francisco's easily-rattled young QB. How this team beat Denver and lost to the Niners is a bit beyond me.

24. Arizona Cardinals [25] — There's a problem here, and I haven't seen Arizona yet this season, so I don't know if it's the quarterback or the offensive line. Kurt Warner had a decent passing day against the Seahawks, but he also took five sacks and fumbled four times, though none were recovered by Seattle. The Cardinals also have the most penalties of any team so far this season, and that has to change. Neil Rackers missed two field goals on Sunday, as many as he missed all of last season.

25. San Francisco 49ers [32] — Given the lack of talent on the roster, their results in the first two weeks have been somewhat amazing. Getting rid of offensive coordinator Mike McCarthy seems to have helped, as Alex Smith, Frank Gore, and Antonio Bryant are all playing well under new OC Norv Turner. The defensive coaching staff deserves credit, too, with San Francisco racking up nine sacks in the first two games, which ties them with Baltimore, Chicago, and San Diego for third in the NFL.

26. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [21] — Has any team looked worse through two weeks than Tampa Bay? The Bucs have been outscored 41-3, meaning they are averaging 1.5 points per game. Chris Simms has been a disaster, throwing six interceptions and posting a 40.0 passer rating that places him more than 80 points behind Grossman, Charlie Batch, and Carr. These rankings reflect how good a team is right now, not just how well they've done through one or two weeks, so Tampa stays out of the bottom five. I believe the Buccaneers are a bad team, but not that bad.

27. Detroit Lions [27] — I spent a lot of time Sunday trying to figure out how Jon Kitna completes 77% of his passes, for 230 yards and no interceptions, and they only score seven points. Part of the problem is that Detroit's running game is useless — other than a 29-yard gain by Kevin Jones, the Lions rushed 13 times for 17 yards in Week 2. Even against the Bears, that's pathetic. They should probably be ranked lower than this, and I would move them down if I could.

28. Cleveland Browns [26] — What shocks me about this team is how ineffective the running game has been through the first two weeks. Last year, Reuben Droughns averaged 4 yards a carry and 77 rushing yards per game. This season, he's averaging 2.4 and 29.5. Cleveland's longest rush of the season has been by Dennis Northcutt. After him it's Charlie Frye. The Browns have some promising young receivers, but if they can't run the ball, this team is going nowhere. Cleveland needs to win at home against Baltimore next week if it's doing anything this season.

29. Green Bay Packers [29] — Discussing Green Bay's on-field play is sort of sad right now, so I want to address something I heard on FOX's pregame show. Jimmy Johnson suggested that Brett Favre is holding back Aaron Rodgers and the Packers, and that he should be traded and reunited with his old coach, Jon Gruden, in Tampa Bay. Sacrilege. I wish Favre had retired after last season instead of playing this year, but the man has to retire a Packer.

30. Houston Texans [31] — Sacked Peyton Manning twice, which is hard to do, but that's the only good thing you can say about a defense that gave up 43 points and 400 passing yards. The offense has showed some promise this year, but Carr was sacked another four times against Indianapolis, and the injury to left tackle Charles Spencer leaves Houston's quarterback even more vulnerable. Speaking of vulnerable, though, the Texans have winnable games at home against Washington and Miami the next two weeks.

31. Oakland Raiders [28] — ESPN's fantastically bad presentations excluded, I'm not sure I've ever heard less professional announcing than Gus Johnson and Steve Tasker managed on Sunday. I think they have really big crushes on young Raiders QB Andrew Walter, because there's no other way to explain their uncontrollable enthusiasm for him. Walter went 10-for-27 against the Ravens, throwing three interceptions and no touchdowns. He also burned timeouts needlessly, and his passer rating this season is 19.0. Nothing related to Oakland's offense is worth getting excited about, especially the quarterback play.

32. Tennessee Titans [30] — The battle for last place was really competitive, with Oakland, Houston, and Green Bay all making compelling cases. What made Tennessee's argument look so strong was the lack of reason for optimism. The defense, which allowed 40 points on Sunday, making Philip Rivers and Michael Turner look like all-pros, isn't even the worst unit on the team. The Titans completed barely a third of their passes against San Diego. The starting quarterback was signed three weeks ago and still doesn't know the offense. The backup quarterback was the team's leading rusher on Sunday. It seems safe to say — and this is a strong statement, given what we've seen the last two weeks — that Tennessee has the worst QB situation in the NFL right now.