And we're off!
Week 1 of the 2006 NFL season is in the books. Half the league is happy. Half the league is pissed off. Me, I fall into the latter category, with my 7-9 record against the spread. (Shut up.)
But this is not about me. This is about two teams who had much more on the line than my petty pride, and blew it far, far worse. 27-0. Tampa Bay and Oakland, both getting shut out at home, finishing up the game with backup QBs throwing to backup WRs, looking at Week 2 for some semblance of hope.
Unfortunately, the Raiders head off to face the Ravens, whose defense just made Chris Simms look like Aaron Brooks. The Bucs head north to Atlanta, who just crashed the suddenly very un-chic Panthers Super Bowl hype machine. Both teams are very likely looking 0-2 in the face, as far back in the division as one can be after two games.
But though Oakland and Tampa seem to have very much in common (broken dreams, dejected fan bases, etc.), their fates may not be as similar as you might expect.
Take a look at how each team went down in Week 1, Raiders first:
To sum it up: the offensive line was horrible (Robert Gallery, meet Tony Mandarich). The offensive play calling was terrible (when Dick Vermeil is making fun of you on national TV, you absolutely, 100% suck). And Jerry Porter laughing at his teammates' misery and completely ignoring the game was worse than any of it. (Seriously, how do they even let him in the building after that?)
Right now, I think The Rock could do a better job of coaching this team than Art Shell. The only "Black Hole" in Oakland was where Shell's heart should have been. Has any team quit on its coach faster in the history of football? I wanted to go to bed, but I couldn't. It was like watching an episode of The Anna Nicole Smith Show — ugly as ugly gets, but there's always hope for a random injury or stray boob (have you seen the women in Oakland?). I couldn't turn away.
Raiders fans, you have the worst team in the NFL, if only because you have absolutely nothing going for you (stud safety Michael Huff not withstanding). At least Tennessee has a good coach and young star QB. The Jets and Chad Pennington's shoulder appear to have turned the corner. The 49ers showed some life on offense. Cleveland has some young pieces in place. But the Raiders? Let's just say I think Brady Quinn will have his work cut out for him.
On the other hand, Tampa really only gave up one good drive — Baltimore's 14-play, 80-yard march that ate up 9:16 to begin the game. Ravens QB Steve McNair went 4-5 on the drive, hitting old/new best friend Derrick Mason three times for 9 (on 2nd-and-8), 7 (on 2nd-and-6), and 15 yards (on 3rd-and-7). Can you tell these guys have a little chemistry?
But unlike the Raiders offense, Tampa's D never quit. For the rest of the half, the Baltimore offense put together drives of -7, 9, 9, 6, 7, and 11 yards. Unfortunately, the Ravens' lead still grew from 7-0 to 17-0 after Simms' first pick was returned for a TD and his second left Baltimore on the Tampa 9 for an easy field goal.
Add another three to the Baltimore lead after a long punt return left the Ravens on the Tampa 37, and Baltimore had a 20-zip lead with a grand total of one effective offensive drive.
Tampa came back, going from their own 27 to the Baltimore 6 on eight consecutive pass plays, but instead of taking the easy three, Tampa coach John Gruden went for the gusto on fourth down. Simms' pass went incomplete, and the Bucs were done.
The good here is that the Tampa defense sucked it up and played hard throughout, despite Simms and the offense collectively crapping its pants. Gruden should have kicked the FG, if for no other reason than to avoid the risk of a momentum-killing failure on fourth-down. Take the three, and it's still a ball game with more than 20 minutes left. Go for it and fail, you tear your team's heart out.
But there's enough in Tampa to be hopeful about. Concerned, yes, but hopeful. 9-7, even 10-6, is not totally out of the question.
The Raiders? No hope whatsoever. (Except for maybe a stray boob.)
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