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September 30, 2006

Hockey Cynic's Guide to the East

I have a problem with the pink jerseys.

I'm not one of these diehards bellyaching that girlie sweaters somehow undermine all that is great about hockey, like Dr. Hook going ballistic on the referee during Ned Braden's homoerotic striptease at the end of "Slap Shot." I might have done that 15 years ago, before the NHL legislated itself into a homogenous European league devoid of toughness and character. But since we still have the instigator rule as firmly in place as the salary cap, jerseys that look like low-rent pajamas from the Victoria's Secret reject pile seem more than appropriate.

No, my problem with the pink jerseys is that they're an insult ... to female fans. Talk about not knowing your audience: has anyone in the NHL's marketing department ever even seen a puckbunny? If she's got anything hockey related on, she's either wearing what the players are wearing on the ice or — if she can pull it off — the tightest little babydoll t-shirt she can find with a logo on it. She's not wearing, to steal a phrase from Ralphie's father in "A Christmas Story," a "pink nightmare" like the allegedly feminized jersey above.

That was one story from the off-season. There were many, many more. Being the cynical bastard that I am, I bring you a preview of the 2006-07 NHL season, explaining why every single team in the league has virtually no chance of winning the Stanley Cup and why they're all pathetic messes. As always, we begin with the Prince of Wales Conference this week and then hit the Campbell Conference next week.

I know you'll enjoy this, because you and I are hockey fans. And as I once wrote: "We are the hockey fans. Lepers to the legitimate, creeps to the in-crowd. In the great cafeteria of sports, we sit at the table closest to the teacher's lounge; the one covered in old chewing gum and spilled chocolate milk where all the foreign kids converge at lunchtime."

With that in mind, here is "The Hockey Cynic's Guide to the NHL's Prince of Wales Conference."

ADAMS DIVISION

BOSTON BRUINS
(29-37-16; 5th in the Northeast; Watched Joe Thornton in the playoffs.)

The most criminally underreported stat from the 2005-06 season was that Joe Thornton (125 points) outscored the combined output of the three players he was traded for (124 points). It's sad for the rest of us (though a Godsend for Bruins fans) that the principal idiots behind that monumental blunder won't have a chance to steer Boston into another iceberg this season. There really was nothing like Mike O'Connell trading away Boston's first hockey superstar since Cam Neely for a bunch of co-stars, and then hearing Harry Sinden react as though he was too busy playing with his grandchildren and tending to his stamp collection to notice that the deal was going down.

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Because Zdeno Chara might be 6-foot-9, but unless he's got McHale and Parrish playing next to him he's not winning a ring in Boston.

Worst Case Scenario — Phil Kessel becomes the most memorable Bruins rookie since Andrew Raycroft. And we all know how that turned out.

BUFFALO SABRES
(52-24-6; 2nd in the Northeast; Lost to the champs.)

I'm not quite sure how the Buffalo Sabres' uniform change became the fan-hatred magnet of the summer. Yes, the new logo looks like either an atomic garden slug, the love child of a gerbil and a cashew nut, or something your Uncle Murray might wear to a South Florida meeting of the Royal Order of the Water Buffalo.

But the bottom line is that this...

...is less offensive than this:

I'm not one of these revisionists who are suddenly treating the Blue-and-Gold Sabres uniform of old as if it were some kind of sacred shroud, drenched in tradition and mystique that defies the fact that Dave Suggerud wore one for 215 games. But they were light years closer to cool than those pseudo-ferocious red-and-black sweaters they flipped to in 1996. My, how distinct: only the Devils, Senators, Blackhawks, Hurricanes, Atlanta Falcons, Arizona Cardinals, Georgia Bulldogs, Portland Trail Blazers, Miami Heat, Chicago Bulls, Texas Tech, Maryland, and Rutgers have a similar color scheme.

Thank god the black uniform obsession is finally starting to ebb in the NHL; it was clearly the worst fashion trend in hockey, right up until the point when Alexander Ovechkin unleashed his closet on an unsuspecting public.

But what about those new Buffalo sweaters? The logo stinks, but the design isn't half-bad. C'mon, you know you dig those numbers on the front. It's okay to admit it; you're not part of some hive mentality that oppresses emotions and common sense for the sake of the greater good, like the Borg or the New Jersey Devils.

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Many teams have taken the leap from conference final bridesmaid to Stanley Cup bride. But 110 points and six players with over 20 goals isn't going to happen again for Buffalo this season.

Worst Case Scenario — The Sabres miss the postseason, and Ted Nolan makes it.

MONTREAL CANADIENS
(42-31-9; 3rd in the Northeast; Blew it against the Hurricanes.)

Entering last season, the Habs appeared to have a dynamic offensive team on paper. And then Michael Ryder and Mike Ribeiro regressed, Richard Zednik had fewer power-play points than Craig Rivet, and the team made the postseason by keeping pucks out of the net rather than pumping them in. This summer, they added Sergei Samsonov, which will be great for the 2007-08 season when he knocks off the floating and is playing for another contract.

Has anyone pointed out that Cristobal Huet would be an amazing name for a Bond Girl?

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Because I can't wrap my brain around the notion of a player like Guy Carbonneau coaching a player like Alexei Kovalev.

Worst Case Scenario — "Saku Koivu" and "injury" continue to be as synonymous as "Canadiens" and "former glory."

OTTAWA SENATORS
(52-21-9; 1st in the Northeast; Spanked by the Sabres.)

Whoa, watch your fingers! That window of opportunity sure closed in a hurry...

The Senatorial apologists are trying to spin their offseason into some sort of underrated success, which is like saying Ottawa only missed the Stanley Cup last year by 10 wins.

Chara's loss leaves the defense with no teeth — but hey, at least they kept Wade Redden and his 50 points. How does Muckler sleep at night knowing he let one of the last true star defensive-defensemen slip away to a division rival for someone with exactly one more point than Marek Zidlicky?

And if Ray Emery's playoff performance is the reason you find yourself a goalie during the summer, how in the hell is that goalie Martin Gerber, who finally cemented his second-string status with last year's choke?

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Because they're Ottawa.

Worst Case Scenario — The Senators, who struggled for years to build a home-grown team and challenge for the Cup, become a case study on how the new CBA can actually discourage parity between large and small markets.

TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS
(41-33-8; 4th in the Northeast; Made John Ferguson fire Pat Quinn.)

[Somewhere in Toronto, Sept. 2005]

John: What do make of this "New NHL" stuff, Pat?

Pat: It's all horse-hockey. Like taking out the red line is somehow going to make the game faster. What's next? Using pixie dust to make the players fly? And I'll believe this "obstruction crackdown" when I see it.

John: Exactly. What these other teams loading up with young, cheap talent don't understand is that it's all about star power.

Pat: Eddie Belfour, Eric Lindros, Jason Allison, Owen Nolan ... plus the unbreakable Mats Sundin and the unstoppable Tie Domi. They might as well just hand us the Cup now!

John: Seriously. [Raises a pint]. To old-time hockey, just like dad used to play! And to Pat Quinn, who as God as my witness will never leave the bench so long as I'm calling the shots here!

Pat: Here, here! Say, are you still looking to give McCabe that $29 million for five years? Aren't you worried about the salary cap?

John: The salary what now?

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — The youth movement shows potential up front. I like the moves they made on defense (from a hockey perspective, not an economic one). And Paul Maurice has been groomed to take over this franchise and make it something substantially better than it's been. But qualifying for the playoffs would be impressive enough with this squad.

Worst Case Scenario — Andrew Raycroft continues his slow transformation into Jim Carey.

PATRICK DIVISION

NEW JERSEY DEVILS
(46-27-9; 1st in the Atlantic Division; Beat the piss out of the Rangers, and then I can't honestly remember anything after that.)

Low expectations, a goalie no one's willing to admit is as good as he's hyped to be, questionable scoring beyond the team's first line, and an ex-Canadien behind the bench.

In other words, the usual factors that lead to a victory parade around a parking lot.

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Coincidences with past glory aside, the Devils are a wildly uneven squad. The top three offensive players — assuming Patrik Elias, Scott Gomez, and Brian Gionta are Devils for the full campaign — are as good as any trio in the league. Beyond that, the team's looking to squeeze goals out of an inconsistent Jamie Langenbrunner, a yet-to-ripen Zach Parise, and as former Rangers coach Colin Campbell famously put it, "an interchangeable flock of forwards."

On defense, for every solid vet, there's a corresponding question mark. If everything — and I mean everything — comes together, this team challenges for a Cup in what should be Gomez's Niedermayer-esque swan song. If it doesn't, the Devils still make the postseason because of that guy between the pipes, but don't leave the first round. Unless they have another bye against the Rangers.

Worst Case Scenario — Lou Lamoriello refuses to learn the error of his ways and bolsters his defense by signing Rob Ramage and Brad Marsh to multi-year contracts.

NEW YORK ISLANDERS
(36-40-6; 4th in the Atlantic Division; Are at least the second-most embarrassing franchise in New York as long as Isiah Thomas is with the Knicks.)

Now that the shock and awe of Rick DiPietro's 15-year deal with The Wang Dynasty has begun to subside, let's all thank the Islanders for bestowing a true gift upon the NHL and its fans: an automatic punchline.

I was interviewing Chris Clark of the Washington Capitals a few weeks back about being named captain of the team. The last question I asked him: "So, do you believe getting the 'C' brings you that much closer to that 15-year contract you've always wanted?"

Belly laughs, the both of us. I'm telling you, it's a sure-thing.

Beyond the lunacy of signing an average goalie for a decade-and-a-half, and naming your back-up goalie as the general manager, and allowing Tom Poti to find sanctuary in the defensive corps as angry Rangers fans chased him from Manhattan with lit torches, the craziest thing Charles Wang has done to this once-proud franchise is turn the front office into a boardroom. He wants as many cooks in the kitchen as he can get, which is a direct insult to a team whose glory years were solely prepared by Chef Arbour and Chef Torrey.

This team is such a laughingstock, I'm surprised they haven't dug the Aquafresh Gorton's uniforms out of mothballs to complete the look.

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Next question.

Worst Case Scenario — Charles Wang names Garth Snow as his general manager. Wait...

NEW YORK RANGERS
(44-26-12; 3rd in the Atlantic Division; Took the broom from the Devils.)

Joe McDonald, a friend and hockey writer from New York, asked me the other day whether there was anyone left to hate on the Rangers besides Jagr and Kasparaitis. So I took a good look at the roster and realized he was right: a team I have jeered until my throat was raw from the hatred and bile I spewed forth has suddenly morphed into something — gulp — likeable.

How can you not be fond of a kid like Hank Lundqvist? How can players like Ryan Hollweg and Jed Ortmeyer make your blood boil? Even the team's lone big-ticket free agent signing, Brendan Shanahan, is universally admired.

Combined with its workmanlike defensive system and its unprecedented fiscal responsibility, and unequivocally loathing the Rangers is no longer obligatory.

It's like going to see a "Friday the 13th" movie only to discover that Jason Voorhees has given up slashing co-eds for holiday wreath making.

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Because it isn't 2048 yet.

Worst Case Scenario — Lundqvist has a sophomore slump, the defense is Swiss cheese, and Jagr decides it's time for him to wear out his welcome.

PHILADELPHIA FLYERS
(45-26-11; 2nd in the Atlantic Division; Buffaloed in the first round.)

The apocalypse. Armageddon. The end of life as we know it. Dogs and cats, living together. Mass hysteria.

Those were just some of the reactions by NHL general managers to Bobby Clarke's signing of Vancouver RFA Ryan Kesler to an offer sheet. My favorite came from the offended party, Canucks GM Dave Nonis: "I was told a long time ago that Bob Clarke would kick his grandmother down a flight of stairs if it would give him a better chance of winning."

He didn't kick his grandmother, Dave — he kicked you, square in the ass, on the wallet side. Publicly complaining about it makes you look like an amateur playing a professional's game, and makes Clarke look like he hasn't lost a step as a despicable nuisance since his playing days ended.

Isn't it refreshing to see one of these GMs have the balls to break up the RFA tea party once in a while?

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Because their defense and goaltending is about as solid as the Cheese Whiz on a Geno's steak.

Worst Case Scenario — Peter Forsberg misses 55 games, scores 80 points in 26 games, and then gets hurt on the last night of the season before the playoffs.

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS
(22-46-14; Last in the Atlantic Division; If their season were a slot machine, it would have a BAR and two blank spaces.)

As you all know, Sidney Crosby's official website is a place I make sure to visit every single day in the hopes that the commemorative plaque with the autographed picture of him waving a Terrible Towel comes down from its current price $299 CA.

But what about the other Penguins? Don't they have super cool websites, too?

I checked out www.Malkin71.com, and found myself staring at the home page for the Russian Hockey Digest. What a brilliant stroke of cyber-squatting. You thought it was tough getting out of Russia, Evgeni? Try getting this URL back...

That was about it. No Petrovicky26.com, or Fleury29.com, or Ekman28.com.

And, for some reason, Orpik44.com redirected to a site for Erik Cole's chiropractor...

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — The Penguins are certainly headed in the right direction, with two burgeoning megastars and a slew of young players with which to build around them. I just hope they can bring a Cup back to Pittsburgh before they bring one to Kansas City or Portland for the first time.

Worst Case Scenario — Sergei Gonchar plays as bad as he did for the first half of last season for the entirety of this season.

"THE SOUTH BEGINS AT K STREET" DIVISION

ATLANTA THRASHERS
(41-33-8; 3rd in the Southeast Division; Missed the playoffs and it was all Kari Lehtonen's fault.)

Handicapping the Southeast is a very important thing for a hockey prognosticator like yours truly, because the odds are — long as they are — that one of these four teams is going to win the Stanley Cup this season.

With that in mind, the Atlanta Thrashers have some of the trademark signs of the out-of-nowhere-Southeast champion: dependable offensive stars, some solid role players (Niko Kapanen, Steve Rucchin and Bobby Holik, who may finally go back to being the grunt he was born to be), and a dynamic goaltender ... when he's healthy.

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — But that defense ... ugh. Brining in Vitaly Vishnevski was a no-brainer, but in the end, it's redundant: if the Thrashers' defense can do anything well, it's pummel the crap out of people in the corners. Offensively, it's got Greg de Vries (35 points) and Niclas Havelid (32); not exactly Paul Coffey and Larry Murphy back there. Hell, it's not even Paul Cavallini and Larry Carriere...

Worst Case Scenario — Down goes Lehtonen, and it's the Johan Hedberg show.

CAROLINA HURRICANES
(52-22-8; 1st in the Southeast Division; Brought the big silver spittoon to NASCAR country.)

I know it's petty and I know it's tradition and I know his family has some engrained emotional ties with the city. But I also know, as a hockey fan, it absolutely steams my shorts that Doug Weight spent his day with the Cup in St. Louis while the ink for his name was still drying on the Blues' training camp roster.

Taking the Cup to the St. Louis Arch. Taking the Cup to Busch Stadium. Yes, it makes me a complete bastard to ridicule any trip that takes Lord Stanley's chalice to a children's hospital. No, it doesn't prevent me from thinking that a St. Louis Blue hauling Carolina's Cup to a city that's never been able to win its own is making a mockery of the Hockey Gods.

Well, that and the fact that Weight also took it to Joe Buck's house. I mean, now the Cup's just tainted, you know?

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Because they almost didn't win it last year. If Buffalo wasn't playing with a defense held together with tape and prayers in Game 7, Carolina loses. If Edmonton doesn't morph into a team playing like it didn't belong in the Finals during Game 7, that contest is a hell of a lot closer than it turned out to be. The Hurricanes are going to be good, but a repeat is out of the question.

Worst Case Scenario — Cam Ward proves he was ready for a playoff run, but not for the following regular season.

FLORIDA PANTHERS
(37-34-11; 4th in the Southeast Division; Squandered the sure-thing Hall of Fame career of Roberto Luongo ... or at least that what Roberto Luongo thinks.)

My, how the mighty have fallen. Mike Keenan used to wear out his welcome after winning the Stanley Cup or at least making the Finals. Now he's parting ways before the season even starts.

So what is Jacques Martin left with after Iron Mike's departure? It actually depends on what direction Martin decides to take the Panthers. If he opens up the offense like he did with the Senators, then players like Bertuzzi and Jokinen are going to have stellar numbers. If he plays more conservatively, it'll help the still-gelling defense and a questionable goaltending tandem but will squelch any creativity up front.

By the way, seven players on the Florida roster were born before 1976, and seven were born after 1982. This team might have the chemistry of a "Saturday Night Live" cast in a transition season.

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Because there are more season ticket holders for the Florida Marlins than people who believe that Alex Auld and Ed Belfour can backstop this team to the Cup.

Worst Case Scenario — Roberto Luongo wins his first postseason game with Vancouver, and the Panthers have lousy beer at their viewing party to watch him.

TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING
(43-33-6; 2nd in the Southeast Division; Still wondering what the hell happened.)

Do you think Jay Feaster sent Charles Wang a thank you note for making the Brad Richards contact the second most detested deal of the year?

I'm a Marc Denis fan, and I know quality goaltenders for a reasonable price aren't exactly plentiful in the NHL at this moment, but is his signing really any different than Gerber's with the Senators? Both Tampa Bay and Ottawa are built to win now, and they just brought in goalies for whom playoff success if a foreign concept.

And the fact that the team's defense is going to have more exposures on a nightly basis than a Tampa Bay strip joint doesn't help, either.

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Because as much as I adore John Tortorella, something tells me this team's underachieving is starting to inch him closer to the door.

Worst Case Scenario — The power play stinks again, the team falls out of the playoff picture, and trade winds literally blow over Marty St. Louis.

WASHINGTON CAPITALS
(29-41-12; Last in the Southeast Division; Still watching that Ovechkin goal in Phoenix.)

This team is so clearly pointed towards winning next season, it's amazing they've been able to sell a single season ticket for this one. Super prospect Nic Backstrom will be the team's second-line center next year. The Capitals' AHL graduates will be steady sophomores next year. And GM George McPhee will be in a position to add a critical salary via trade or free agency with the playoffs finally back in sight for Washington.

So why watch this season? Okay, there's still the unparalleled joy of seeing Alexander Ovechkin, reinventing what it is to be an NHL superstar with every goal, every history-making moment. He's going to be one year smarter, one year stronger, and he's actually going to have some offensive talent around him on the power play, which was fifth-worst in the league last season. If he scored 52 points on an awful power play, how many does he score on a good one? Yikes...

Why They Won't Win the Stanley Cup — Because Ovechkin can't do it alone.

Worst Case Scenario — Beyond a horrific injury to No. 8, is there one? I'm almost envious of Caps fans this season: it's like playing 82 games with house money, knowing that the hand that really counts will be dealt next year.

Greg Wyshynski is the Features Editor for SportsFan Magazine in Washington, DC, and the Senior Sports Editor for The Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. His book is "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History." His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 5:15 PM | Comments (0)

Deep Thoughts on the NFL

New York Jets: For Real?

Can Chad Pennington's arm hold strong for an entire season? So far so good, and a lot of doubters have been silenced. With Laveranues Coles close to leading the league in receiving yards (Marvin Harrison has three more yards), this team appears to be in much better shape than originally thought.

Are they a playoff team? Probably not. But they are a battle versus anyone they play. You can look as recently as their Week 2 matchup against the New England Patriots. This team will not quit in a game. If their young linemen continue to improve, they will be a force in the season's to come. Or until Pennington's arm falls off in Week 9.

Cincinnati Bengals: Character Issues

A road victory in Pittsburgh isn't easy, but the Bengals have had success two years in a row under coach Marvin Lewis. The celebration in Bengaldom has already begun. From Internet message boards to national media figures, the Bengals are being called one of the best teams in football, if not the best.

In fact, the party in Cincinnati began immediately following the game. Just ask Bengals second-year linebacker Odell Thurman. Even though he was banned for the first four games of 2006 season for violating the NFL's substance abuse policy and did not play or even attend the game, he sure did celebrate.

Thurman was arrested about 3 AM Monday — just hours after the Bengals beat division rival Pittsburgh 28-20.

Police said Thurman's blood alcohol was 0.18 percent at the time of his arrest. The legal limit is less than half of that. Good thing Chris Henry wasn't driving.

Chris Henry, along with rookie Reggie McNeal, both Bengals wide receivers, were in the vehicle when Thurman was arrested, but they could not be charged with anything.

Mr. Henry has been arrested four times, but has avoided jail time so far. After his two touchdown performance in Pittsburgh and his teammate's comparisons to Randy Moss, he was glad to have been the passenger for this one. Just thinking about being the driver must have made him sick to his stomach, as he puked out a passenger window during the traffic stop.

Henry pleaded guilty to marijuana possession in northern Kentucky, and most recently pleaded guilty to a weapon charge in Orlando, Florida. After Roger Goodell, the new commissioner in the NFL, stopped in Cincinnati the previous week to express the importance of individual conduct on and off the field, Henry surely would have faced a severe punishment.

As it stood, Mr. Thurman has been asked to clean out his locker as he will serve a season long suspension.

Recently, the Bengals have made several controversial personnel decisions. It was never a question of talent, but rather of character. According to Coach Lewis, "I am not pleased. It's not right, it's not what we stand for, it's not what the National Football League should represent."

You are correct, Coach, but please don't bring the entire league down with the troubles of your team. Sometimes, you get exactly what you draft.

Odell, now that probably seems like a harsh punishment to you, but consider this: the Steelers play the Bengals in Cincinnati on New Year's Eve. If the division is on the line, this could move to a night time affair (thanks to the new flexible scheduling). Now, thanks to Mr. Goodell freeing up some of your time, you can drink all day and night on New Years Eve. I suggest that you write Roger a thank you note now.

The Dallas T.O.'s

Now it doesn't make much sense to draft a player that has a troubled history, but there is a payoff to that. The theory is that under the right tutelage the player can turn into a fine professional young man.

That doesn't always pan out, but it is a completely different story when you pick a seasoned veteran that has dismantled two professional football teams.

Unfortunately, that's exactly what the Dallas Cowboys did. After Terrell Owens successfully ruined the San Francisco 49ers, vetoed a trade to the Baltimore Ravens, and trashed a Super Bowl-caliber Philadelphia Eagles team, you must've thought he was done.

Not a chance. His talent was worth the gamble. In fact, Jerry Jones is so excited with the additional media coverage that he has made a suggestion about the team name.

Rumor has it the Dallas Cowboys are going to switch the team name to "T.O." This name is simple, everyone knows what it stands for, and it is a lock to get into national headlines on a biweekly basis. Owner Jerry Jones said, "This is exactly what we have been looking for, this is why we brought T.O. here. We are laying off our marketing department as we do not need them anymore. Additionally, the star has been changed to an 'O.'"

In all seriousness, the latest T.O. news, a suicide attempt, was about as shocking as anything I have ever read regarding the NFL. You heard it here and you see it every time a camera is on T.O — the guy loves himself way too much to call it quits.

Is the NFC East Really the Toughest Division?

The toughest division in the National Football League could potentially put three of its four teams into the playoffs. This division is loaded with talent, excellent coaches, and for the first time in its history, parity.

Now, some of you might think this division is an obvious reference to the highly competitive NFC East. You would be dead wrong. Although it is a crap shoot for who will win the NFC East, this is not the toughest division.

First, let's define what is suggested by the word "toughest." Does this word suggest the division has to have an equally competitive playing field amongst all participants? Should the definition include teams with championship potential? The answer is yes to both. But another factor has to be which division could beat any other division head to head.

I'd take the AFC North over the NFC East any day. The Ravens are undefeated and looking to recreate their swagger on defense. The only difference from years past, they now have an offense to balance their attack. Their 3-0 record doesn't suggest much, as I discuss below, but if they can consistently produce like they have so far ... LOOK OUT.

The Bengals? They are the defending division champions and potentially were one player short of their own playoff run last season.

The Steelers? They are the defending world champions, need I say more? Yeah, yeah, I know. You are going to tell me they lost two weeks in a row. Once, on Monday night to the Jaguars where the offense was non-existent. Ben Roethlisberger had just come back from an injury and looked horrible. Then they blew a game against Cincinnati at home, while Big Ben threw three big interceptions.

This pattern is eerily similar to what happened to them last season. Horrible performance on Monday night football against the Colts (Ben also coming back from an injury), followed by a home loss to the Bengals where he threw three picks.

We all know what happened after that. The Steelers went on an unprecedented eight-game winning streak and didn't stop until they had their one for the thumb.

They will be okay.

As for the Browns? They unfortunately play in a very tough division. They are much better than their record indicates. Watch for them throughout the season.

New Orleans Saints: America's Team?

There is a God! Not a Saints fan, not even close. I even had Atlanta's defense in one of my fantasy football leagues (Victor Tan's "No Crying Unless You're Dying 2006"), but as the game went along, there I was rooting for the home team. A city such as New Orleans couldn't be more deserving. I never thought I was capable of rooting for another team, but watching the first punt get blocked and returned for a touchdown was a truly beautiful moment. Best Monday night game I have seen in a long time.

Baltimore Ravens: Not Sold Yet

Yes, they are undefeated. Yes, they have looked dominant at times. No, they are not the reincarnation of the 1985 Bears or even the 2000 Baltimore Ravens. Sure, they beat the snot out of Tampa Bay in Week 1, but the Bucs haven't looked sharp against anyone. Sure, they beat the Raiders convincingly, but wouldn't it have been more alarming if this game was close?

Kind of like last week's performance against the Cleveland Browns. It took an interception in the end zone and a 52-yard field goal by Matt Stover to beat the Cleveland Browns. So Baltimore, rather than buy your hotel and flight package to Miami, why don't you wait until the season plays out a little further.

Sure, you are off to a franchise-best 3-0 start, but let's not forget what happened the last time you started off with a franchise-best 7-4 record. I'll remind you just in case. Let's just say a second season collapse cost the team an opportunity to make the playoffs and continued throughout a 6-10 2005 performance. I am just not sold on them, but a victory against San Diego will be very telling of this team's postseason aspirations.

Posted by Kevin Ferra at 4:50 PM | Comments (0)

September 29, 2006

NFL Week 4 Bye Report

Man, I love the NFL.

I tanked my picks last week, went 0-3 in my three fantasy leagues, and my team, the New England Patriots, looked horrrrrrrrible against the Broncos. All that, and I still can't wait for Week 4. It's like crack, except without the rotting teeth and lousy coffee at the Narcotics Anonymous meetings.

(Side note: In Bill Simmons' pantheon of faces, the Brady Face is the un-talked-about deformed kid in the basement. Sometimes he just gets this pout, and it makes me angry. And my friends make fun of me. And I have to say something about Dan Marino being gay to make myself feel better.)

Here're 10 things we learned this past week:

1. Kurt Warner is done. DONE. I'm just praying Dennis Green really does stick with Warner against Atlanta and John Abraham comes back for the Falcons. I'm seeing shades of Rams at Giants, Week 1, 2003. (You Rams fans know exactly what I'm talking about.)

2. Daunte Culpepper is getting most of the heat, but that Dolphins' defense wasn't exactly top-notch itself against the Titans.

3. The only thing that can save the Giants from completely imploding is winning. A few more losses, and the New York glare is going to get awfully hot for Tom Coughlin. (Sorry, that last sentence sounds like Peter King. Triple-Grande Non-Fat Latte, please.)

4. Just because Bill Belichick doesn't like Eric Mangini anymore doesn't invalidate all the good things we heard about Mangini as a coach the past few years.

5. Charlie Frye reminds me of Brett Favre a decade ago. If I'm a Browns fan, I'm excited about what I saw on Sunday.

6. Adding Deion Branch to the Seahawks puts their offense in the same category as Indianapolis and Cincinnati, as far as I'm concerned (even with Maurice Morris at RB).

7. Hard to tell how much the emotion raised their games, but Drew Brees is way (WAY) better than Aaron Brooks, Marques Colston kept getting open, the offensive line held steady, the defense tackled extremely well, Reggie Bush is really fast (really, really fast), and Sean Payton looks like a great hire. The New Orleans Ain'ts they ain't no more.

8. Week 4: New England at Cincinnati. It hurts just to type it.

9. Pittsburgh and Jacksonville: The football equivalent of barroom brawlers trying to win a boxing match. Sometimes being a bully just isn't enough.

10. Oakland is still the favorite to land the first pick in the 2007 NFL Draft, but the Detroit Lions are gaining ground. (Just an astonishing lack of heart on defense.)

On to our bye report for Week 4. Off this week are Denver, the New York Giants, Pittsburgh, and Tampa Bay.

Denver Broncos

(2-1, second in the AFC West)

Overview — This was a team in disarray heading into New England. A bad loss and the bye week is spent talking about the dawn of the Jay Cutler Era. But these are the Broncos, and any time you think you can count them out, they come back and play the perfect game. The addition of Javon Walker has the potential to take this offense to a place it hasn't been since the days of Ed McCaffrey. With Tatum Bell taking the majority of carries against the Pats, you saw a return to the dominance we're accustomed to seeing from the Denver running game. Just a great, great win.

Impact of the Bye — Perfect timing from a physical standpoint. They were pretty banged up by the end of the Pats game, so a week off to rest before their Week 5 date against Baltimore (who has a slugfest against the Chargers this Sunday) should come in handy. Plus, I'm sure it'll do Plummer some good to get away for a little bit without the shadow of a QB controversy on his head.

Outlook — With three winnable games on tap after the bye, they could very well be 5-1 when they host what should be a 6-0 Colts team in Week 8. I don't think they're on quite that elite level anymore (Plummer isn't completely off the hook for the first two games and the stink bomb against Pittsburgh in the playoffs last year), but if they beat the teams they should, Denver should be in line for a wildcard spot, and perhaps a return date to Foxborough in the first round. Wouldn't that be fun? (Kill me now.)

New York Giants

(1-2, tied for last in the NFC East)

Overview — The Giants are one fourth-quarter brain fart by Andy Reid from being 0-3 and in full crisis mode. As it is, leaks are already starting to spring. The players' faith in Tom Coughlin is obviously shaken, with the latest derisive comments made by Jeremy Shockey following Sunday's meltdown in Seattle. You might say that it was just a known loudmouth spouting off, but Shockey is a significant voice in that locker room. That can't be underestimated.

Impact of the Bye Week — It's probably for the best the team has a chance to scatter for a day or two. It may be too little of a break, though. The defense needs to take this time to figure out what's going wrong. Their pass rush is way too ineffective for the type of talent they have on the D line.

Outlook — Here's the thing with authoritarian coaches: All's fine and well when their teams are winning, but a little adversity tends to snowball out of control. I think Eli Manning is a great passer, but I'm not sure he's got a strong enough personality to reverse a team-wide pattern of negativity. With a home game against Washington, then road trips to Atlanta and Dallas, the Giants could very well fall into a 1-5 hole. I don't think Coughlin survives a six- or seven-win season.

Pittsburgh Steelers

(1-2, third place in the AFC North)

Overview — The loss to Cincinnati is a reminder that these Steelers more closely resemble the early 2005 version (7-5 with a three-game losing streak) than the late 2005 version (eight-game win streak culminating with the Super Bowl). Ben Roethlisberger's anemic passer rating (34.3, behind even Kerry Collins) may be just a product of rust after an offseason spent smashing his face into moving vehicles, or it may be that defenses have figured him out. Or maybe this just isn't as good an offense without Jerome Bettis and Antwaan Randle El. Either way, this is not how to start a successful title defense.

Impact of the Bye Week — With a road game against the Chargers set for Week 4, I'm sure Bill Cowher and his coaching staff will appreciate the extra time to figure out what has gone wrong in consecutive losses to Jacksonville and Cincinnati. If they don't want to stare 1-3 in the face, they better figure something out quick. Overall, a good time to step back and regroup.

Outlook — A year ago, the heralded 2004 QB trio of Manning, Roethlisberger and Philip Rivers was ranked Roethlisberger first, Manning second, Rivers third. Now, you could make the argument those rankings are reversed. Of course, Rivers has only two games under his belt, while the other two have more than a full season (plus postseason) each, but so far in 2006, that's the story. The bottom line for the Steelers is that if Roethlisberger doesn't get it together, they don't make the playoffs. (And what's this about him telling people he had a 104-degree temperature when it was really 100.4? Something just feels off about this guy.)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

(0-3, last in the AFC South)

Overview — The bad news is that just three weeks into the season, the Buccaneer Super Bowl odds are about a million-to-one. (So you're telling me there's a chance...)

The good news is that, in the long run, Chris Simms will be better because of this disastrous beginning. Reading quotes from the Tampa players on Monday, it was obvious they had a whole new kind of respect for Simms, who played through obvious pain. Not only did Simms refuse to leave the game, but he actually led the offense to its best performance of the season. When he comes back, he is unquestionably a better (i.e. more respected) leader than he was before.

(I think this also helps Jon Gruden get a little bit of that Rich Gannon-type of trust in Simms that he obviously hasn't had until now, while allowing him to get this Bruce Gradkowski fling out of the way. With positive reports of Simms' prospects for recovery, this might have been the best thing for the Bucs. You know, as far as ruptured spleens go...)

Impact of the Bye Week — If you're going to break in a new starter, especially a rookie sixth-round pick, better to do it with an extra week to prepare. Plus, this should help get everybody past the shock of losing Simms. This bye couldn't come at a better time.

Outlook — If you want to be an optimist about it, there are some Gradkowski/Brady parallels here. Both came in as unheralded sixth-rounders, then leapfrogged established veteran backups when the unquestioned leader (Drew Bledsoe, Simms) went down with internal injuries. (One difference is that Brady was in year two when he took over, while Gradkowski is 10 months removed from leading the Toledo Rockets to victory over UTEP in the GMAC Bowl.)

So does Gradkowski pull a Brady and lead the Bucs to the promised land? Considering the schedule after the bye (at New Orleans, Cincinnati, Philadelphia, at NY Giants, New Orleans, at Carolina), there's not a chance in hell.

Playlist of the Week

(Available on iTunes)

Stuart - The Dead Milkmen
Gangsters - The Specials
Old Mother Reagan - Violent Femmes
Get a Life - Pennywise
Blue Veins - The Raconteurs
Casbah Club - The Aqua Velvets
Someday Baby - Bob Dylan
Eight Miles High (Live) - The Byrds
Take Five - The Dave Brubeck Quartet
Bukowski - Modest Mouse

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 4:49 PM | Comments (0)

September 28, 2006

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 4

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Arizona @ Atlanta

Hey, how's this for an original way to defend Michael Vick? Take the run out of his game and force him to pass. It worked for the Saints in their Superdome homecoming last Monday night, as they beat the Falcons 23-3 and now sit alone in first at 3-0 in the NFC South.

"We just didn't have our heads in the game," explains Atlanta coach Jim Mora. "It's like we had vertigo, and were walking down the boulevard of broken dreams, where the streets have no name. We were a basket case. But at least Green Day and U2 were on their game."

Arizona's Kurt Warner threw three interceptions and fumbled twice in the Cards' 16-14 loss at home last Sunday. One interception was in the end zone, and Warner fumbled a snap as Arizona was driving for the winning score late in the game. It was enough for coach Dennis Green to give Matt Leinart the start in Atlanta.

"It's about time," says Leinart, previewing the director's (his) cut to the film Last Tango in Paris II. "No offense to Kurt, but we needed a change. Kurt and I are very different. He's right-handed, I'm left-handed. He's a one-woman man. I'm an every-woman dude. Kurt fumbles snaps. I don't. Kurt is very religious. I worship the devil. Actually, I don't worship the devil, but I do kind of like the guy. But it's great to get the start in Atlanta. Like my cellular service with Cingular, Atlanta's got 'more bars' — more nudie bars, that is."

Not so fast, my friend. That report of Leinart starting must not have come from "The Professor," ESPN's John Clayton, because Warner will be the starter.

"Sweet!" says Leinart. "I just reset my curfew to 4 AM!"

It's a bad time for the Cardinals to meet the Falcons. With a mini-quarterback controversy (that is, a minor quarterback controversy, not a quarterback controversy involving midgets) and a road game in Atanta against a Falcons team that was just embarrassed on national television, Arizona could be in trouble.

The Falcons get their running game back in order, rushing for 220 yards, and Warner is benched in favor of the hung-over Leinart in the third quarter.

Atlanta wins, 30-21.

Dallas @ Tennessee

The Titans are 0-3 and one thing is quickly becoming apparent.

"What's that?" replies Titans coach Jeff Fischer. "We suck? Or, I'm a fool for signing Kerry Collins to play quarterback? Or, I'm a fool for allowing Kerry Collins to start our first three games? Or, all of the above?"

That would be all of the above. Don't you wish you would have been a little nicer to Billy Volek? What's it going to take to get Vince Young a start around here?

"Another Collins' start, I guess," replies Fisher.

Dallas' Terrell Owens spent the Cowboys' bye week rehabbing his broken finger, not on a stationary bike, but with the phone book.

"Yeah, Coach Parcells will love this," says Owens. "Just take the Yellow Pages, and let your fingers do the walking."

"Hey, T.O.," yells a perturbed Parcells, "I'll let four of my fingers do the walking, and this one do the flying."

Owen's also spent the later part of the week insisting that he did not try to commit suicide.

"Come on," says Owens. "I'm the best receiver in the game. If I would have tried to commit suicide, I would have succeeded. I'm good at everything I do."

"I'm stunned by these allegations," counters Parcells. "T.O. seemed fine the other night during our game of Russian Roullette. I can't believe he would try to kill himself."

Titans fans are disappointed — they don't get to see Owens play, and they're forced to watch Collins start yet another game. They're also disappointed in the outcome: a 28-13 Dallas victory.

Indianapolis @ N.Y. Jets

Jacksonville slowed Indianapolis' high-powered offense, allowing the Colts only 272 total yards, including 63 on the ground. Two of those rushing yards came on Peyton Manning's rushing TD that accounted for the winning points in Indy's 21-14 victory.

"I'm not the fastest guy in the world," says Manning, who usually runs his 40-yard dashes over two days. "In fact, I'm not the fastest guy in any country, state, county, city, building, room, or closet. I knew I was slow, but I realized I was even slower when I saw Penn State coach Joe Paterno sprint across the field for a pit stop. I thought running from the Jaguars was an urgent situation. I guess when you're 79, there are more "pressing" issues. I think Joe Pa sprung a leak."

The Jets are 2-1 after last week's upset of the Bills, and quarterback Chad Pennington is shouldering the load, having thrown five touchdowns and only one interceptions. He also has a higher quarterback rating than Manning (103.4 to 96.6).

"Hey," says Pennington, "that's the first time 'Pennington' and 'shoulder' have been used in a sentence and not followed by 'injury.' But I'll put my arm up against Peyton's anytime, as long as I don't have to hold it up too long and I can take this wristband off. When that thing gets sweaty, I can barely lift my arm."

Are the Jets for real? A raucous Meadowlands crowd seems to think so, and Jets fans lob the usual batteries, coins, and bottles at the Colts, but with a nice personal touch, some sling horseshoes at the Indy players. Pennington is amazed that people can throw things so far. Anyway, the Jets have lived by turnover margin so far this year, but the Colts and Manning just don't turn the ball over. Manning throws two touchdowns, and the Colts win, 31-24.

Miami @ Houston

Let's see. Houston's David Carr is the NFL's top-rated quarterback, with a 113.6 rating. To the rest of the legitimate quarterbacks, and Kerry Collins, in the league, that fact is an upset of epic proportions, much like North Carolina State's monumental defeat of the Houston Cougars in the 1983 NCAA championship game.

"They won it, on the dunk, right?" asks Carr. "That was a massive upset, with the Cardiac Kids shocking Phi Slamma Jamma. Hey, what do you get when you cross your momma with Phi Slamma Jamma? A bad mamma jamma. Just as fine as she can be. It's clear that such a high QB rating has left me delirious, hasn't it?"

Meanwhile, Miami's Daunte Culpepper is the league's 22nd-rated passer. That's not good for the Dolphins, but good for us, because we don't have to see him do that silly "rolling, rolling" gesture he does when he makes a big play. It looks stupid on the field, but when Daunte breaks out that move at the "Thursday Night Danceoff" at the Copacabana, it's pretty cool.

"It doesn't seem logical that Carr would be rated so high and I so low," says Culpepper. "But who am I to speak of logic? Look on my helmet. There's a dolphin wearing a helmet jumping through a hoop. Does that seem logical?"

No, it doesn't, Daunte. But neither does me drafting you on my fantasy team.

With AFC North counterparts New England and the Jets playing underdogs this week, and Buffalo just a slight favorite over Minnesota, it's a great time for the Fins to pick up a game on the entire division. Ronnie Brown rushes for 130 yards and a score, but Carr keeps the Texans in it.

Dolphins win, 26-24.

Minnesota @ Buffalo

1980s rock icon Meatloaf said it best, between meals and heart attacks, when he crooned, "Don't feel bad, 'cause two out of three ain't bad, but zero for four, that just plain sucks."

Oh for four. That would be the Vikings' and the Bills' records in Super Bowls. It takes an accountant to calculate their number of losses in the big game.

"That's why I'm here," says Vikings coach Brad Childress. "To get us to the Super Bowl and actually win the thing. Now, I know people don't hear the name 'Brad Childress' and think 'That guy will take the Vikes to a Super Bowl win.' They hear the name 'Brad Childress' and think 'That guy could possibly take Minnesota to the second round of the playoffs, and I bet he'd make a great assistant coach in the Pro Bowl.' Don't think I won't be scalping some tickets there."

The Vikes lost a tough 19-16 decision at home to the Bears, and look to rebound against the Bills and Willis McGahee, who seems to have rediscovered his form after a disappointing 2005. The Vikes will counter with their own workhorse, Chester Taylor, who has given Minnesota a reliable running game behind new offensive guard Steve Hutchinson.

"Willis versus Chester?" says Hutchinson. "Sounds like the finals in an Accountant of the Year contest. I'll be in my Buffalo Stance for this one."

This is Minnesota's first game against a non-playoff qualifier from 2005. With a win against the Bills, and a victory next week against the Lions, the Vikes would head into their bye week at 4-1. Important when Seattle and New England loom in weeks seven and eight. Minnesota won't let this one slip away. Taylor rushes for a score, and Ryan Longwell kicks the game-clincher. Vikings win 17-14. Afterwards, the Vikings celebrate at Niagara Falls, where they charter the Maid of the Mist, and Fred Smoot goes over the falls in a barrell with two lovelies and immediately writes a letter to Penthouse.

New Orleans @ Carolina

It took a John Kasay 46-field goal with two seconds left, but the Panthers finally got their first win of the season, 26-24, over the Bucs in Tampa. Kasay also kicked three other field goals, and the Panthers nearly blew a 17-0 lead. Now, they welcome the NFC South-leading Saints, the league's biggest surprise, to Charlotte.

"We've got something for the Saints when they come marching in to Bank of America Stadium," warns Carolina defensive end Julius Peppers. "No, it's not hard hits and stifling defense. It's an armful of beaded necklaces, and if they don't get topless, there will be hell to pay."

Bush and the Saints whipped the Falcons 23-3 on Monday night in front of an emotional Superdome crowd. Bush rushed for 53 yards and is still looking for his first NFL touchdown.

"Maybe I haven't scored a touchdown," says Bush, "but I have bought more houses for relatives than any other player in the league. I'd like to give a shout out to the 619 area code. Call me. Collect."

Is this a must win for the Panthers? You bet. A loss and Carolina is three-games out of first in the NFC South. Not only that, Carolina has upcoming dates at Baltimore and at Cincinnati, so it's imperative they win, especially at home. Steve Smith catches a TD pass from Jake Delhomme, and Peppers has two sacks and a fumble recovery.

Panthers win, 28-24.

San Diego @ Baltimore

Are the Ravens really that good? Sure, they're 3-0, but those three wins have come at the expense of teams with a combined 0-8 record. Doesn't that make Baltimore's strength of schedule something in the negative numbers?

"Hey, if you take away our wins over those three teams," says the Ravens' Brian Billick, "then they're 0-5, which is much better than 0-8. Doesn't that improve our strength of schedule? I think so, and that should be enough to guarantee us a BCS bowl game."

Isn't that the kind of twisted reasoning that the BCS actually uses to determine the national champion?

San Diego's Phillip Rivers will face his toughest test since his Leisure Studies 101 final exam in his final year of matriculation at North Carolina State.

"First of all," says Rivers, "I have never matriculated in my life. I don't do that. It's perverted. Second of all, Coach Amato had my final grade changed in that class to a 'B,' even though I made an 'A.' He's so used to changing the grades of those 'non-qualifiers' he's so quick to condemn on other teams."

Rivers has faced the Oakland and Tennessee defenses so far this year. Has that prepared him for what he'll see against the Ravens?

"We're gonna be on him like Joey Porter's pit bulls on a horse," says Ray Lewis. "You know, I think those dogs also car-jacked a Cadillac, also."

To say this will be a defensive struggle would be an understatement. The Raven defense is allowing only 1.8 yards per rush, while San Diego gives up only 3.5. The Ravens won't let LaDainian Tomlinson beat them, so it will be up to Rivers to prove his mettle. There will be a lot of kicking in this game.

Ravens win, 16-12.

San Francisco @ Kansas City

Do quarterback injuries follow Herman Edwards wherever he goes? It certainly seems that way. Last year, Chad Pennington's injured shoulder left Edward's changing quarterbacks more than Larry Johnson used to change his diapers. This year, in his second game as head coach of the Chiefs, Edwards watched as Trent Green was KO'd, leaving Green out indefinitely. Are you cursed, Herm?

"Cursed? Me? No way," replies Edwards, proudly reminiscing about the day when he scooped up a Joe Piscarcik fumble and raced to the end zone, giving the Eagles a dramatic win over the Giants back in 1978. "I'm resilient. I always come back strong, sometimes with a new team. But wherever I go, I'm always a players' coach. What other coach in this league would sit around a camp fire with his players singing 'Kumbaya.' Only Herm Edwards. Now, who's my backup quarterback. Vinny Testaverde? Elvis Grbac?"

Actually, Herm, it was Damon Huard, who played well in the Chiefs' Week 2 loss to the Broncos, one of the league's better defenses. Kansas City will look to get in the win column when the 49ers visit Arrowhead Stadium on Sunday.

In their 38-24 loss to the Eagles, San Francisco running back Frank Gore and tight end Vernon Davis were both injured on a 98-yard fumble return for a touchdown by Philly defensive tackle Mike Patterson. Gore was trying to score but lost the ball, and was injured trying to recover.

"Frank's made it a habit of fumbling in the red zone," says San Fran coach Mike Nolan, "much like Al Gore in Florida in the 2000 election. I don't know what Frank's problem is, but he can't seem to shut up about global warming."

Without his running back and speedy tight end, Alex Smith will find offense hard to come bye against a Chiefs squad rested from a bye week and looking for their first win. Larry Johnson rushes for 140 yards and scores two touchdowns.

Kansas City wins, 26-14.

Detroit @ St. Louis

Detroit's Jon Kitna may have fully grasped offensive coordinator Mike Martz's new offense just in time for Martz's return to St. Louis. Kitna threw for 342 yards and two touchdowns in the Lions' 31-24 loss to the Packers.

"Coach Martz has reminded me hundreds of times that he was the architect of the 'Greatest Show on Turf,'" says Kitna. "He's also asked my on numerous occasions to kneel and kiss his Super Bowl ring, and I've happily obliged. Then, he asked me to wax his lance, but I had to refuse. I have a little self-respect. You know, we've got two jesters in this court, Martz and general manager Matt Millen, who researches draft picks like you and I research grocery store purchases."

"I guarantee next year I don't draft a wide receiver," says Millen.

The Rams lay out the red carpet for Martz, then jerk it out from under him. They also block his access to the coaches' booths, even those of his own team. Then the Rams make a startling discovery: Martz is still using the same play calls that he used in St. Louis. With this information, the Rams' defense dominates. Torry Holt scores two touchdowns, beating his brother Terrence for a 60-yard score in the second quarter. He then is penalized for taunting his younger brother, 15 yards by officials and a grounding by his parents.

Rams win, 27-20.

Cleveland @ Oakland

The Raiders spent their bye week much like they did their opening week: scoreless. Coach Art Shell regrouped and encouraged his team to rededicate itself to the basic fundamentals of football.

"You mean, like, scoring?" says Randy Moss, teasing his afro with a yard rake, while tending his corn rows with a hoe. "No, you mean 'ho.' It's so bad, Art brought in Kenny Stabler and Dave Casper to show us the old 'Fumblerooski' trick. But the last thing we need is intentional fumbles when we can't even control the accidental ones."

The Browns suffered a heartbreaking 15-14 loss to the Ravens, but the loss gave the team confidence that they could hang with the league's tougher teams.

"We're not taking the Raiders lightly," says Browns coach Romeo Crenel. "We realize when backed into a black hole, the Raiders are apt to explode, or implode, depending on Randy Moss' mood. I see a lot of potential in the Raiders. They remind me a lot of the great Washington teams of years past. Not the Redskins, but the Generals. You know the team of scrubs that the Harlem Globetrotters whipped on a nightly basis."

Late in the fourth, with the Raiders trailing 17-10, Moss pulls the Meadowlark Lemon "confetti in the bucket" trick, fooling Browns defensive back Gary Baxter. Andrew Walter hits Moss for the game-tying score. On the next play from scrimmage, Charlie Frye hits Braylon Edwards for a 75-yard TD strike.

Browns win, 24-17.

Jacksonville @ Washington

Jacksonville rushed for 191 yards, limited the Colts to only 272 yards of total offense, and held the ball for nearly 19 minutes more than Indy. Fred Taylor rushed for 74 yards, and rookie Maurice Jones-Drew tallied 103 yards on the ground. Still the Jags fell 21-14, and coach Jack Del Rio was left scratching his head.

"We basically carried out our game plan perfectly," says Jack Del Rio, "except for the 'scoring more than your opponent' part. But I'm encouraged by Maurice's performance. He's a strong runner, and he has three names, which doesn't mean much as running backs go, but fifteen years ago it would have got him a part on The Cosby Show or Saved By the Bell. And speaking of Saved By the Bell, is it true that Screech has a sex tape out? Yikes! That sends shivers up my spine, much like the kicking of my kicker, Josh Scobee, last week."

The Jags will face the Redskins and quarterback Mark Brunell, hot off of setting an NFL record of 22 straight completions in the 'Skins' 31-15 win over the Texans.

"Well, I can't take too much credit," says Brunell. "We were playing the Texans, after all. It was so easy, I think a Geico caveman could have done it. No offense to any remaining cavemen, of course."

Last week, NFC East quarterbacks were a combined 66-96 and six touchdowns, but they weren't playing the Jaguars. Brunell won't complete 22 passes, much less complete 22 in a row. Jacksonville pounds their running game, and their defense holds the 'Skins to 13 points.

Jags win, 17-13.

New England @ Cincinnati

Despite enduring six sacks, two fumbles, and three interceptions, Bengals' quarterback Carson Palmer was on target when it counted, throwing four touchdown passes, two each to Chris Henry and T.J. Houshmandzedah, as the Bengals knocked off the Steelers, 28-20.

"I just wanted to come in here and show people what I was made of," says Palmer. "And that is 99.99% Carson Palmer, and .01% of someone else. It gives me great comfort to know that if my knee or any other part of me is hurt, I can simply order a spare part from the Ligament Emporium and go on my merry way. By the way, I don't fear Tom Brady at all. Take away the three Super Bowl rings and replace his left knee ligament with that of cadaver, and we're practically the same."

New England failed to avenge its playoff loss to the Broncos, as they were physically dominated by Denver in a 17-7 loss.

"Enough about the Broncos," says Brady. "Until Jake Plummer shows me a Super Bowl ring and a clean driving record, he's nothing to me. Nothing. Now, onto the Bengals. When you talk about the Bengals, one name comes to mind: police. It looks like another Bengals is in trouble. Frankly, I'm stunned, that the Cincinnati police haven't opened a substation inside Paul Brown Stadium. But I must offer my congratulations to the Bengals' organization on their new television contract with Court TV."

The Patriots defense has been prone to giving up big plays, and against the Bengals high-powered offense, that's bad news. Palmer throws three TD passes, and the Bengals win, 30-23.

Seattle @ Chicago

Matt Hasselbeck threw five touchdown passes, four in the first half, as the Seahawks jumped on the Giants 35-0 before eventually winning 42-30. Hasselbeck ended his day with 227 yards passing as the Seahawks remained undefeated.

"I watched some film of the Giants' defense and noticed one glaring hole," explains Hasselbeck. "Their defense. They looked totally lost, like their coach didn't even prepare them for the situation. Maybe he didn't. Who am I to say? That's for the Giants organization to handle, and apparently, they have their hands full of those situations. I guess Giants' policy is to force the player to make an apology. But I've got more pressing issues, like the Bears on Sunday, and the Patriots in China in 2007. Are the Chinese people ready to give up ping pong for American football?"

Once again, the name of the game in Chicago is defense, but that funky QB known as Grossman is keeping the offense up to speed.

"I motivate the cats, I like to tease," says Rex Grossman. "I play so cool, I aim to please. Somebody slap me, on the double, 'cause white men rapping ain't nothing but trouble."

Seattle running back Shaun Alexander supposedly fell victim to the "Madden Curse," whose legend brings injury to whomever appears on that year's Madden football video game. Alexander is out with a broken bone in his foot.

"Not only that," says Alexander, "but I've got a sudden fear of flying, and a burning urge to make sentimental small talk with Pat Summerall."

Great, Shaun. Now you can fully devote yourself to cheerleading on the sidelines.

Expect both offenses to play conservatively and wait for their defenses to cause a turnover and put the offense in field goal range. The running games won't be much of a factor, at least yardage-wise, but they will keep the clock moving. And that will get this game over in a hurry.

Bears win, 24-20.

Green Bay @ Philadelphia

Brett Favre threw his 400th touchdown pass early in the Packers 31-24 win over the Lions at Ford Field. The Packers' aging gunslinger also tossed TD's number 401 and 402, and now has his sights set on Dan Marino's NFL record of 420.

"I'm coming for you, Marino," says Favre. "Let's see if I can throw 18 more TDs before you can lose 18 more pounds on your Nutrisystem diet. Come on, Dan. When I see you on television, I don't want to hear about diets. I want to hear about football. And maybe the latest styles in Isotoner gloves."

Philadelphia's Donovan McNabb is off to a flying start, leading the NFL with 960 yards through the air. Fantastic, Donovan! What do you think of Terrell Owens?

"I've just got a few words for Terrell Owens and his supposed suicide attempt," says McNabb. "Better luck next time. But seriously, T.O., if you need to talk, there are about two billion other people you should call before you call me."

It's a shootout at Lincoln Financial Field. McNabb and Favre both come out with guns blazing, and each throws for 300 yards. McNabb hits Reggie Brown for the game-winning score in the fourth quarter.

Eagles win, 35-28.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 9:51 PM | Comments (0)

Rating the College Football Blogs

I love me some blogs. Besides the Sports Central Message Boards and my own e-mail, my only daily must-visit sites are my favorite blogs.

And if I may say so, I'm a pretty tough blog customer. I've read hundreds and hundreds of blogs, but the ones that have made the cut for regular reading number around five or so. I demand it be well-written. I demand it be funny. Many blogs are well-written, but not well-written enough, and many are funny, but not funny enough.

I can forgive a small amount of poor writing and lack of humor if the blog is informative and dealing with very interesting subject matter, and few things are more interesting than college football to this writer. So lately I have been making the rounds of college football blogs. A few that I've read have stood out, which I've listed below.

Please note that I am pretty much only interested in general college football blogs, not team blogs. As deep as my passion for the game goes, I can only read so many treatises on the backup linebackers of Oregon State before my eyes start to glaze over.

Sunday Morning Quarterback

This is my favorite college football blog. The writer's style is often compared to Gregg Easterbrook, and I can see that for sure, but the average SMQ post seems to be lacking the smugness of an Easterbrook column — which means he's even better than Easterbrook, though surely not as well-compensated.

The reason SMQ is my favorite is because he seems to put the most effort into being a quality writer. Anyone can regurgitate stats and anyone can dash off an informal rant about how awful ESPN is, but the best writing takes a process more deliberate than that, and contains a passion not just for the subject matter, but for the act of writing itself.

Tim Cahill, the long-time Outside and Rolling Stone writer, and the author of a number of travel books, once said he is asked a lot how to get into the travel writing biz. His advice: it's about the writing, not about the travel. You have to have even more love for writing than you do for travel, or you are doomed to fail. SMQ's blog seems to be about the writing, so it's No. 1 on my list.

Every Day Should Be Saturday

It's tempting to disqualify EDSBS because its writers, who go by the names Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana, are unabashed Florida fans. Less than a quarter of their posts deal with Florida, though, so I'm letting it in.

EDSBS is the Carrot Top of college football blogs. It's manic, it's busy (more posts per day than the other blogs listed here except NCAA Fanhouse), it's zany, and there's no shortage of posts revolving around amusing pictures, anecdotes, and YouTube videos, and these are the blogosphere versions of props. The chief difference between EDSBS and Carrot top is EDSBS is funny. It also has the largest following of commenters of any general college football blog I am aware of.

The Wizard of Odds

The name implies a gambling blog, but it isn't. I consider it to be the Sporting News of the college football blogs: a tad drier than its competitors, but more informative. His regular features are outstanding: Reporters Notebooks, where he digs up info from local newspapers, and similarly harvested opinion pieces rounded up in a feature called Columnists Corner. You may think he shills too much for his sponsors, but if he's trying to make a buck doing what he loves, more power to him.

College Football Resource

Pretty average writing, but quite an incredible compendium to other links and blogs, which is organized in a ton of different ways, including by conference and then by team. Visiting his site is like visiting a store with a ton of great stuff.

Sports Illustrated's College Football Blog

I'm tempted not to count this one either, because it's maintained by the dreaded mainstream media, but I'm including it because it's a daily stop for me. Its primary blogger and college football writer, Stewart Mandel, is good: informal without being sloppy or gimmicky. Again, I know I'm supposed to hate the mainstream media, but Sports Illustrated as a whole (except for the vastly overrated Gary Smith) has always shown some alarming signs of competency, and Mandel is no exception.

NCAA Fanhouse

Unlike with Sports Illustrated, I am really, truly loathe to give AOL credit for anything, but what they've done here is a great idea. They've rounded up a gaggle of some of the best bloggers who maintain team-specific blogs, and invited them to post as they please to the AOL blog. It's the Huffington Post of college football, which means it's updated constantly, with a different writer each time. If nothing else, it's great filler for when none of the above blogs have been updated recently.

***

On to this week's picks. My selection on the left, home team in caps. 3-2 last column, 6-6 on the year.

MEMPHIS (+13.5) over Tennessee

Memphis is quite capable of playing over their heads against the Vols (anyone remember them knocking off one of Peyton Manning's UT squads?), and Tennessee has had trouble finishing after the big opening win against Cal.

OHIO (-5) over Bowling Green

Bowling Green got embarrassed 38-0 at home last week against Kent, starts a freshman quarterback, needed overtime to beat Buffalo, and Ohio slayed defending MAC champs Northern Illinois on the road. Why does Vegas think this game will be close?

Oregon (+1) over ARIZONA STATE

I'm sure Arizona State will be looking to bounce back after last week's debacle, and they probably will to a large extent, but I'm not sure they deserve to be favorites, even at home, against an Oregon team also looking to prove something after the Oklahoma controversy and another nice win against Fresno. I suspect Oregon is the second best team in the Pac-10, Arizona State, maybe fourth or fifth.

Washington (+3.5) over ARIZONA

Apparently, no one else got the memo. Washington is back. On the heels of big wins against Fresno State at home and UCLA on the road, they are red hot, well-coached (Tyrone Willingham's vindication) and while Arizona looked decent themselves last week against USC, I don't think they are as far along as Washington is. Even at home.

UCLA (-23.5) over Stanford

Just go against Stanford every game until further notice. They are the worst BCS team in the country. Yes, including Duke.

Posted by Kevin Beane at 8:33 PM | Comments (3)

Oh, For the Simpler Days...

I'm feeling a little nostalgic today. I'm not sure if it's because of the recent death of my grandfather or the debacle two weeks ago with the replay review at the Oregon/Oklahoma game. In either case, both events have caused me to hearken back to when watching college football on TV was a pretty simple thing to do.

Although my Grandpa wasn't a huge college football fan, he loved football in general and passed that love down to me at an early age. From the time I was in first grade until my family moved to a different town before junior high began, my Grandpa would pick me up from school and take me to the high school triple-header played at the big stadium in town. Saturdays were spent outdoors doing yard work or going to the park, while Sundays were reserved for watching the Rams or whatever other NFL game might happen to be on.

I learned to love college football from my Grandmother on the other side of the family and by watching games when I was at home with my Mom. This was back before cable and there would only be one or two games on each week. You knew whatever game was on was a big game because it was on TV.

The players would run in front of the camera, helmet under arm, and give their name, year, position, and home town. The half-time show would include some of the marching band playing on the field. The studio show would at least mention the scores of just about every game being played in the country. Two guys in the booth, a half-dozen cameras or so, and simple graphics. Instant replay was used sparingly and wasn't really all that "instant," coming several seconds after the play — and it was never used to help the officials on the field do their jobs.

I watched that OU/U of O game a couple weeks ago, and I was utterly shocked that the replay officials missed both those calls — until I heard who the official was. I have nothing personal against Gordon Riese, but when I found out it was him who blew those calls, it all made sense.

Sure, he had a long career as a referee in the Pac-10, but just because you have a long career doesn't necessarily mean you're good at what you do (take Howard Stern, for example). As a native Pacific Northwesterner, I've seen a lot of Pac-10 (and Pac-8 games, both in person and on TV, and my recollection is that most of the games where controversy ensued because of a bad call by the officials, Gordon Riese was there.

That's not to say that my memory might be a bit obscured with time, but there was a time when Pac-10 officials were the worst in college football and ol' Gordon was at the head of them. Any time there'd be a bad call that helped turn the tide of a game, any game, the joke would be, "they must've been Pac-10 refs." Things seemed to have simmered down in the past few years, but with this latest episode, the pendulum is swinging back the other direction.

Oklahoma has threatened to pull out of it's scheduled game at Washington in a couple years if the Pac-10 doesn't change its policy of not using a neutral officiating crew for non-conference games at a conference stadium. I can understand why the conference would not want to bring in refs from outside for those games — with the reputation Pac-10 officials have earned over the years, if the teams saw the way a game should be officiated, they'd all revolt and want other conferences' officials to do all their games.

This may all sound a little harsh and unfair, but when you've seen as many pass interference calls made or not made at a crucial time of the game, or a player get an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for pointing to the student section after making a big play, or another player get tossed for defending himself at the bottom of the pile while an opposing player was pounding him in the face, you'd be a little harsh, as well.

To get back on topic, I guess I said all that above to bring myself to this point — instant replay does not belong in college football. And if it does, it needs some serious tweaking. I can understand why they changed the rules about the clock this year; when just about every close play near the end of the game is reviewed, that takes a lot of time.

There ought to be some guidelines established as to exactly what type of play can be reviewed (I know there are some guidelines now, but they're too broad). "The previous play is being reviewed to see if the lineman sneezed, therefore causing him to false start." Then we get 19 different angles on TV of him spewing snot and spit, and "expert" analysis from everyone on the broadcast crew.

While we all want college football to maintain its identity separate from the pros, it might not be a bad idea to structure replay challenges like the NFL where the coach has a limited number of opportunities to challenge a play. I know that wouldn't have mattered in the Ducks/Sooners game because both those botched calls came within the final two minutes of the game where, in the NFL, only the booth can review a call.

I also think the referee should have some active part in the review process, instead of standing on the sidelines with a headset on waiting for a decision. I think it should be a tandem review, with the official in the booth and the ref conferring. Had that been the case in Eugene a couple weeks ago, the Sooners might well have had the ball following the onside kick.

I know that technology and the appetite of the TV-watching football fan for analysis and replay angles have brought us to the point of no return, but if we can't go back to five cameras, two announcers, and the band at half-time, we can at least make it so it's fair for everyone — even ol' Gordon Riese.

Posted by Adam Russell at 7:59 PM | Comments (1)

September 27, 2006

College Football Predictions: Week 5

It's tempting to get cavalier whenever one has a bunch of house money in hand, but instead I am scaling back the amount of picks in Week 5 from the usual six to four. This won't become standard. The marquee matchups on this particular card are just very weak, and I don't want anyone to lose their shirt on sub-standard plays.

YTD Record

1* = 2-3-1
2* = 5-1
3* = 5-1

As a reminder, the ranking system is as follows:

1* = Gun to my head, I'd play the team listed (risky)
2* = A good chance of covering; a worthy play (fairly confident)
3* = I will be playing this team for a large chunk of money (very confident)

Georgia Tech @ Virginia Tech -9, 3:30 PM, ABC

The winner of this game will take control of the ACC coastal division for the time being, and while this may sound rather irrelevant, I doubt the stakes could be much higher for a meeting between this pair.

Virginia Tech enters 4-0, but has yet to play a legitimate opponent. Georgia Tech is 3-1 with the lone loss coming at home to Notre Dame. Both teams have active, aggressive defenses and promising yet inconsistent offenses.

I think Virginia Tech is horribly, horribly overrated, and they will be missing two key players due to suspension. Calvin Johnson will be the best player on the field, but that will mean little if Reggie Ball can't get him the ball. Georgia Tech plus the nine looks like a gift to me, and I am sure it will look real good to a lot of other geniuses, as well.

The play: Virginia Tech 1*

Alabama +14 @ Florida, 3:30 PM, CBS

Alabama caused a ton of pain last week both for their own fans, and for the people that bet on Arkansas at –2.5. Alabama's kicker probably doesn't have many fans in the Deep South right now. The missed EP in overtime would have been too much for me to take. I am so glad I passed that game altogether. My deep-felt apologies go out to Alabama fans and Arkansas ticket holders alike.

While Alabama has to overcome a heart breaking loss, Florida must try to overcome the walking turnover that is Chris Leak. If Virginia Tech is the most overrated team in the country right now, then Florida is the second most. Urban Meyer has things headed in the right direction, but I think they'll be better off once Chris Leak moves on. He just makes terrible decisions under pressure.

This a tough call, I still think Florida wins this one, but Alabama has a strong enough running game and defense to keep this one tight into the fourth quarter. I just hope the cover doesn't boil down to a FG attempt.

The play: Alabama 2*

Michigan @ Minnesota +8, 8:00 PM, ESPN

There are a lot of dynamics to consider in this game. Minnesota beat Michigan for the first time in many a year last season on the road, so you could call it a revenge game for Michigan. At the same time Michigan hosts rival Michigan State next week, so they could be looking ahead, thus making this a trap game for the Wolverines, as well. I am not sure how much, if at all any of these factors matter, but they are worth considering.

Everything on paper points to a double-digit victory for Michigan, but the game is being played at the Triple H dome, which will really help Minnesota's cause. Lloyd Carr has a tendency to make things harder than they need to be when it comes to finishing games. I wouldn't be shocked if Minnesota won outright, so naturally I expect them to keep things tight.

The play: Minnesota 2*

Ohio State @ Iowa +7, 8:00 PM, ABC

This is the big one. No. 1 Ohio St travels to Iowa City to take on the unbeaten Hawkeyes. This game will go a long way towards determining the Big 10 champion, and in Ohio State's case, whether or not a trip to Glendale for the national title game is in the cards. Motivation should not be an issue on either side here.

I expected the odds-makers to list Ohio State as a four-point favorite in this game, so I was a little surprised to see the number this high. My guess is the books knew they were going to get unbalanced Ohio State action no matter what, and in turn wanted to draw in some sharp Iowa action to balance things out. Thus, the number hovers around a seven.

This is a huge spot for Iowa, and I'll be shocked if they get blown-out at home given the environment and the quality of their coaching. Ohio State has loads of talent, but I think they go down here outright, although I'll be taking the seven points just to be safe.

The play: Iowa 3*

Please keep in mind that I am evaluating the most popular games for the purposes of this article. These games are not necessarily the best options available. You can more picks, results, and opinions on sports wagering at Ryan Hojnacki's website. This article is for entertainment purposes only. Sports wagering is not legal is most jurisdictions in the U.S. Sports Central does not encourage any individual to partake in illegal activities and holds no responsibility for actions taken as a result of this article. Check with your local laws before engaging in any wagering activities.

Posted by Ryan Hojnacki at 10:36 PM | Comments (1)

Trouble Brewing in the Bronx

There is no secret to the postseason. With the exception of the 2002 Anaheim Angels and the 1993 Toronto Blue Jays, pitching is what wins out. And the New York Yankees have some gaping holes in regards to that area.

Right now, their first three starters are Chien-Ming Wang, Mike Mussina, and Randy Johnson. Wang has had a good year, but is not a certifiable number one. Mussina has been spotty recently, and the 43-year-old Johnson is merely a shadow of his former self.

So the first three are problematic, but that is nothing compared to suitors who wish to secure the coveted fourth starter role — and the Yankees will need a No. 4 because there is no way Moose or Unit can go on three days rest.

Jaret Wright heads up a largely ineffectual group of possibilities. Cory Lidle and Jeff Karstens are also in the running, but it all adds to trouble for the starting-challenged Yanks.

The bullpen is by no means a sure thing, either — with notable exception of Mariano Rivera — assuming he is fully healed from his forearm tightness. So I guess even he isn't the automatic he has been in the past.

The two primary setup men though are far more troublesome. Scott Proctor has been the Yankees' most effective reliever all season, and Brian Bruney has been a pleasant surprise of late — but whether they can get it done in October remains to be seen.

Kyle Farnsworth, on the other hand, has been seen in the playoffs before. You might remember him as the guy that blew the five-run lead to the Houston Astros last season in Game 4 of the NLDS. In fact, in just under 17 postseason innings, Farnsworth has allowed a whopping 12 earned runs — and that's in the National League!

The only thing the Yankees have going for them is their opposition. The Detroit Tigers, Minnesota Twins, and Oakland Athletics are all well-rounded teams, but none pack the offensive wallop of either the Boston Red Sox or Chicago White Sox, both of which have been eliminated from playoff contention.

However, it should be pointed out that the offense of last year's World Series champions was consistently undervalued in every round, and they proved to have just enough to win all of their postseason games except one.

Could the Tigers be this year's White Sox? They do possess a lot of similarities — staggering to the finish, a pitching staff finally fulfilling its potential after seasons of promise, and a spirited manager that will make sure his team is ready for baseball's second season.

The Twins also have questions in the starting pitching department, but they still have the great Johan Santana, along with a lineup that is vastly improved over previous Twins playoff teams.

The A's, with Barry Zito, Rich Harden, and Dan Haren, have the best pitching of any of the teams, but consistently fall short in the playoffs. Is this the year they finally get over the hump?

Their ridiculously talented lineup and experience remain the primary reasons why the Yankees are everyone's favorites to capture the American League pennant, but before their fans start printing World Series tickets, it might be a good idea to entertain the notion that they could fall short of a potential subway series with the crosstown rival New York Mets.

Joe Torre has long been fond of saying that it's nice to have a big offense, but they will only go as far as the starting pitching will take them. And if that is the case, the Yankees will need some unexpected production out of their arms — that or win every game 14-12.

Posted by Piet Van Leer at 9:48 PM | Comments (0)

The Madden Curse Lives On

It all started in 1999 with the cover of Madden 2000. Barry Sanders was the first player to be featured on the cover of the game. Only a few weeks after the game began being sold, Sanders abruptly retired. The game's cover has been tainted since.

Former Green Bay Packers RB Dorsey Levens was also featured on some of the covers of the Madden 2000 game, but he was cut the next year and never played a relevant role on any team for the rest of his career.

Eddie George was on the cover of Madden 2001 and although he did have an okay year, he only rushed for 939 yards and he only averaged 3.5 yards per carry after this. He also suffered injuries in that season.

Daunte Culpepper was on the following year's cover. The Vikings stumbled to a 4-7 start and Culpepper was injured and did not play another game that year.

Marshall Faulk had a string of years with the Rams that most of us will never forget. He also made the Madden curse something of folklore. Following a few great years, Faulk was featured on the cover of Madden 2003 and had a terrible year, including a few knee injuries. He also never again rushed for more than 1,000 yards.

Just one day after being featured on the cover of Madden 2004, Michael Vick suffered a devastating injury in which he fractured his fibula. The Falcons subsequently missed the playoffs and Vick only played a handful of games at the end of the season.

Ray Lewis' tough persona likely held off the curse. Lewis only missed the final game of the season following his cover of the Madden 2005 game. The Ravens did not make the playoffs that year. The next season, Lewis suffered a season-ending injury and the Ravens didn't make the playoffs again.

Donovan McNabb was on the cover of Madden '06. In Week 1, he suffered a sports hernia. This injury required surgery that would have ended McNabb's season, but he chose to play through the pain. In late November, McNabb hurt his groin after attempting to tackle SS Roy Williams of the Cowboys after an interception. McNabb opted to have surgery on his hernia and the Eagles ended 6-10 and missed the playoffs after making it to the Super Bowl the year before.

This all leads us to Shaun Alexander. Alexander just broke his foot this year after being on cover of Madden '07. He is reported to be out for 2-4 weeks, but Alexander hasn't exactly been putting up his typical numbers. He hadn't yet run for 100 yards in a game and only had 187 yards after three games.

Is the cover cursed? I've presented all the evidence to you, why don't you make your own decision?

Posted by Matt De Lima at 9:26 PM | Comments (5)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 28

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jeff Burton — Burton leapt to the top of the points with a victory in the Dover 400, his first win since October of 2001. He dueled Matt Kenseth down the stretch for several laps, finally making the pass for good when Kenseth ran out of gas. Burton now leads Jeff Gordon by six points.

"Are we still being accused of cheating?" asks Burton. "It's just a coincidence that the cheating allegations arise just a week before I win my first race since 2001. By the way, I just signed a new sponsorship deal with my favorite snack, Cheetos."

2. Jeff Gordon — Despite starting on the pole, Gordon didn't even lead the first lap, but he did come home third for the second straight race. That left him only six points out of first in the standings behind Dover race winner Jeff Burton.

"That's a waste of a pole, isn't it?" says Gordon. "And to think I was passed on the first lap by Ryan Newman, the former king of the pole. Where's that guy been all year?"

3. Matt Kenseth — The decision to remain on the track and forego a pit stop turned out to be the wrong call, as Kenseth fought to hold off Jeff Burton on old tires then ran out of gas two laps from the end. The mistake was costly, but not disastrous; Kenseth still finished 10th and is only 18 points behind points leader Jeff Burton.

"It's inexcusable to come up that short," says Kenseth. "I can understand running out of gas on the backstraight, but two laps? I want to know who was making the mileage calculations, and what they were using. A set of dice?"

4. Denny Hamlin — Despite feeling ill and weakened throughout the race, Hamlin still managed a ninth-place finish for his 15th top-10 of the year. He dropped two spots in the points, but now trails the leader by only 18 points.

"It must have been the spinach I ate just before the race," says Hamlin. "Normally, it gives me strength. Not this time, though. But, I shouldn't complain. I can lay off the spinach, but what can Popeye the Sailor Man do?"

5. Kevin Harvick — Harvick suffered his first did-not-finish of the year because of engine problems that eventually led to his retirement with less than 40 laps remaining at Dover. He had worked his way into the top 10, but the engine woes relegated him to a finish of 32nd, which dropped him four spots in the points to fifth, 54 behind teammate Jeff Burton.

"It's good to see my teammate Jeff Burton picked up the slack," says Harvick. "Maybe now those cheating allegations will be directed at him and not me. Pssst! Check his tires."

6. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. — Earnhardt suffered early handling problems and an unusual amount of tire wear. That all came to a head on lap 282, when a flat tire forced the No. 8 car to make a green flag pit stop. Earnhardt lost two laps, and eventually finished 21st, three laps down. He is now seventh in the points, 102 behind Burton.

"Hey, it was worth it," says Earnhardt, "just to hear Hulk Hogan say, 'Gentlemen, start your engines, brother!'"

7. Jimmie Johnson — During a lap 26 pit stop, Johnson's crew let a tire get away and it rolled all the way across pit lane, which resulted in a penalty relegating him to the end of the longest line. He fought his way to second by lap 234, and pitted under green on lap 290. Then, a few laps later, a caution came out and Johnson lost a lap to the leaders.

"Yeah, but I still gained a position in the points," says Johnson. "Anyway, that's one time I wish the wheel had never been invented and tires were square."

8. Mark Martin — A caution on lap 297 was untimely for Martin, and left the No. 6 AAA Ford a lap down in 18th with just over 100 laps to go. Martin was only able to improve to 14th by race's end, still a lap down, and ended the day where he started — sixth in the points.

"I just realized something," says Martin. "Grand Marshall Hulk Hogan's bicep is the same size as my waist."

9. Kasey Kahne — A wreck just 12 laps in to the Dover 400 left Kahne on a stack of tires, watching the race while his crew repaired his car, while his hopes for a championship were smashed into the side of Tony Stewart's car.

"If Tony would have done that two races ago," says Kahne, "then maybe he would be in the Chase. Tony's right. The Chase field should be separated from the rest. I agree. That would keep people like Stewart from wrecking my chances."

10. Kyle Busch — Busch's engine blew on lap 110, and like Kahne, his championship chances were all but extinguished. After three-consecutive top 10's leading up to the Chase, Busch has finished 38th and 40th in the last two.

"I hope you didn't have me on your fantasy team," says Busch. "If you did, then, like me, you're done."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 8:24 PM | Comments (0)

September 26, 2006

NFL Week 3 Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* Plaxico Burress seems to have developed a fumbling problem.

* Huge NFC matchup in Week 4, when the Seahawks travel to Chicago to determine conference supremacy. But don't count out the Eagles and Vikings, both of whom look like they have the potential to be Super Bowl contenders.

* I like Charley Casserly on the CBS pregame show. His segment with James Brown is the closest you get to real analysis on any pregame program.

* Moose Johnston has gotten skinny. It seems like in their afterlives as announcers, lightweight players get fat and big guys lose weight. Mark Schlereth probably weighs about half of what he did in the 1990s.

* 49ers DB Mike Adams got stiff-armed by Brian Westbrook on Sunday. That's a little embarrassing.

***

In the wake of his disastrous three-interception performance against Seattle, let's re-evaluate Eli Manning and the trade that brought him to New York. The Giants have Little Manning, an average starting quarterback. San Diego has Philip Rivers, an unproven starting quarterback. But the Chargers also used New York's traded picks to get Nate Kaeding, an above-average kicker, and Shawne Merriman, who may be the best defensive player in the NFL. I think the Chargers win this one.

Little Manning is the most overrated player in the league right now, famous for his college career, his last name, and his talented teammates. If Eli had an average offensive line instead of a very good one, played with an average running back instead of Tiki Barber, and didn't get to throw to Burress, Amani Toomer, and Jeremy Shockey, he'd be Charlie Frye.

As we move on to the power rankings, brackets show last week's rank.

1. Indianapolis Colts [2] — The top three teams this week all had close wins over other good teams, none of them particularly inspiring. The Colts beat Jacksonville on a punt return, giving up 12 rushing first downs and a 2:1 deficit in time of possession. On a non-football note, tragedy continues to follow this team, as Reggie Wayne's brother was killed in a car crash on Sunday. This won't devastate the team the way James Dungy's death did last year, but it's a lot for one team to bear.

2. Cincinnati Bengals [1] — Talk about uninspiring: the Bengals couldn't protect their quarterback, gave up 27 first downs, and won on late turnovers, most notably Ricardo Colclough's muffed punt return. What Cincinnati does have is an extremely opportunistic defense, tied for the NFL lead with 11 takeaways. I was planning to keep the Bengals atop the rankings until I heard about Odell Thurman's latest arrest. Guys like Chris Henry and Thurman have already proven they can be special players in the NFL, but if they can't be smart off the field, they're going to have short, unfulfilling careers with lots of stops in different cities.

3. Chicago Bears [4] — Actually had the most convincing victory of any of the top three teams, but Rex Grossman nearly gave the game away with that interception he threw to Antoine Winfield in the fourth quarter. Awful decision-making, inexcusable for a young quarterback. Grossman's teammates bailed him out, though, which is why Grossman is not Charlie Frye. I worry that Chicago hasn't really gotten its running game going this season. With a great defense and a young quarterback, the Bears need to establish the ground game in a way they haven't been able to do yet.

4. Jacksonville Jaguars [3] — In Indianapolis on Sunday, they did everything but win. Maurice Jones-Drew had one of the best games of any player this weekend: 13 carries for 103 yards (7.9 average), a team-high four catches for 32 yards and a touchdown, plus over 100 kickoff return yards (27.2 average). The defense continued to play phenomenally, sacking Peyton Manning twice and holding him to the lowest completion percentage of his career.

5. San Diego Chargers [5] — You don't usually hear about kickers except when they screw up, but San Diego recently made news by signing Kaeding to a six-year contract extension. Kaeding hasn't missed an extra point or a field goal under 40 yards since the 2004 season, and he may be the league's best young kicker. San Diego's punter, Mike Scifres, is also a young guy, and he's the league's best at his position. Good special teams will take you a long way towards winning in the NFL.

6. Philadelphia Eagles [9] — How do you have a 33:18 pass-rush ratio in a blowout win? Those 18 rushes even include three by Donovan McNabb. San Francisco outscored the Eagles 21-14 in the second half, and if Andy Reid doesn't start calling some runs, his team is going to underperform again this season. I'd also like to see McNabb scramble more. It's great that he no longer tucks the ball and takes off when his primary read isn't open, but McNabb's running ability is part of what makes him special, and it hurts the team if he never takes advantage of it.

7. Seattle Seahawks [8] — They'll miss Shaun Alexander, and I've dropped them two spots because of his absence, but Maurice Morris is a capable replacement. In fact, I'm counting on Morris to help save my floundering fantasy team. The player Seattle misses most right now, though, is Steve Hutchinson, who left for Minnesota in free agency. The running game isn't the same without him. The 'Hawks should also be concerned about the 27 points they gave up in the fourth quarter on Sunday. I know the game was already in the bag, but that should never happen. The Seahawks are much better at home than on the road, so take the Bears in Week 4.

8. Pittsburgh Steelers [6] — Ben Roethlisberger is off to a really rocky start, and if he had thrown fewer than three interceptions against Cincinnati, the Steelers probably would have won. Part of Big Ben's problem has been the lack of production from Hines Ward. I haven't seen Pitt/Cincy yet (I'll watch it Tuesday on NFL Replay), so I don't know what kind of coverage Ward got — last week it was Rashean Mathis — but Roethlisberger and the Steelers need more from their star receiver.

9. Denver Broncos [14] — The big names on offense all had good games, but what really impressed me about Denver on Sunday night was its defense. The Broncos contained New England's running game, which had been very effective the first two weeks, holding the Pats to 50 yards and a 2.4 average. Ian Gold had one of the best games I've seen from a defensive player this season. The speed has always been there, but on Sunday night, Gold also made some very impressive solo tackles. When Jake Plummer plays the way he did against the Patriots, this is a very tough team to beat.

10. Baltimore Ravens [12] — Lucky to escape with a win against Cleveland, but Baltimore had the better game. Frye got his yards, but he also got sacked seven times, and the Browns' running game was nowhere to be found. The Ravens' defense should keep them in every game this year, but they're going to need more production from the offense, which hasn't shown a lot of explosiveness so far.

11. Minnesota Vikings [13] — I don't like moving them up after a loss, and if Atlanta had won on Monday night, I probably wouldn't have. Losing to Chicago by a field goal is nothing to be ashamed of, though, and under Brad Childress, the Vikings finally seem to have combined the talent on the roster with a team identity. This team is built from the defense up: the line is exceptional, the linebackers are young and talented, and the starters in the secondary are tremendous playmakers. After defense, it's the offensive line, which is among the NFC's best. The quarterback, Brad Johnson, is a great fit for the system, and he's surrounded by a capable RB (Chester Taylor) and a pair of potentially explosive receivers (Troy Williamson and Travis Taylor). The Vikings will continue to come together, and this could be a team to be reckoned with by the end of the season.

12. New York Giants [10] — They live and die with Eli Manning, and when your team relies so heavily on an inconsistent quarterback, as the Giants and Falcons do, you're going to lose a lot of games, and as we saw this week, some of them will be ugly blowouts. Little Manning is the biggest concern, but there are also issues on defense, which was a problem last season as well. The Giants haven't held anyone under 24 points, and if they give up that many against Washington in Week 5, this team has major problems.

13. New Orleans Saints [19] — Dominated the Falcons in front of a national audience. The additions of Drew Brees, Reggie Bush, and Marques Colston have given this team a lot of offensive weapons, and they were all on display Monday night. Where New Orleans really won, though, was on special teams and defense. Almost every week, you see a team win or lose with special teams, and the Saints' punt block to begin the game set the tone for the rest of the contest. Defensive coordinator Gary Gibbs and assistant head coach Joe Vitt shut down Michael Vick in a way few people have been able to do.

14. New England Patriots [7] — Tom Brady had 55 pass attempts against Denver, tying the career high he set in 2002, which was also the last year New England missed the playoffs. It sounds crazy, but it looks like the way to play the Patriots this year is to stop the run and force Brady to make plays with his arm. Ben Watson is a very decent tight end, but he doesn't scare anybody, and this season he leads the Pats in both receptions and receiving yards.

15. Atlanta Falcons [11] — Let's just start with Vick's stat line. He completed under 40% of his passes. He averaged under 4.5 yards per attempt. He was sacked five times. He didn't have a run for more than five yards until the fourth quarter, when the game was out of reach. At one point in the first half, he threw seven consecutive incompletions. This isn't entirely Vick's fault. His receivers are terrible, and once-reliable tight end Alge Crumpler has developed a major dropping problem in the last two seasons.

16. Dallas Cowboys [15] — I complain about this every year, but Week 3 is too early for teams to have byes. Start them in Week 4 or 5. Dallas plays the Titans in their first game back from the break, and with one starting receiver out, tight end Jason Witten will have to play a lot better than he did against Washington.

17. Kansas City Chiefs [18] — Losses to Cincinnati and Denver don't look too bad right now, as those appear to be two of the best teams in the AFC. The Chiefs have a chance to turn their season around with should-win games against the 49ers and Cardinals in the next two weeks. A loss to the banged-up Niners would send Kansas City deep into the 20s of next week's power rankings.

18. Carolina Panthers [17] — Steve Smith's return is a big boost, but he can't fix the defense, which was supposed to be among the league's best and instead has been painfully average, especially against the run. John Kasay had a phenomenal game on Sunday, hitting four field goals of more than 45 yards, including the game-winner with under two minutes left.

19. Washington Redskins [22] — Don't let Mark Brunell's stat line fool you. Against Houston, the struggling Washington QB set an NFL single-game record for consecutive completions, and that's impressive under any circumstances, but these were favorable circumstances. The game was against Houston, which has by far the league's worst defense, and Brunell's coaches protected him with a strong commitment to the run and a gameplan that called for short passes. Brunell only threw one long pass all game, and most of his yardage came on after-the-catch runs by Clinton Portis, Santana Moss, and Antwaan Randle El.

20. New York Jets [20] — I'm sure they should be higher than this. The Jets are 2-1, and their only loss was to New England. But their first win was against the lowly Titans, and they were lucky to beat Buffalo. The defense made big plays when it had to, but gave up a ton of yardage, and the running game continues to be non-existent. Leading rushers Kevan Barlow and Derrick Blaylock are averaging a combined 2.5 yards per carry, and that's rounding up. The Jets are just riding Chad Pennington and Laveranues Coles, and that can't continue for too long.

21. Buffalo Bills [16] — At the end of the season, if the Bills are on the cusp of playoff contention, they'll look back at this weekend's game against New York and kick themselves. On a day when the offense had its best game of the season and the defense overcame the absence of one of its best players (Takeo Spikes), mistakes cost them a victory against a division opponent.

22. Miami Dolphins [21] — I haven't seen the Dolphins play since their Week 1 loss against Pittsburgh, but the offensive line must be atrocious. Daunte Culpepper has been a disaster, but part of the reason is probably that he's getting killed by opposing defenders. Miami has allowed 15 sacks for 120 yards, by far the most in the NFL.

23. St. Louis Rams [23] — Marc Bulger and Torry Holt had their first big games of the 2006 season, but the Rams beat Arizona because of four Kurt Warner turnovers. St. Louis hasn't allowed an opponent to score more than 20 points all season, and with the offense a shadow of its former self, this team will be relying on the defense of Jim Haslett and Rick Venturi.

24. Green Bay Packers [29] — Brett Favre got himself right, with his first really good game since Week 7 of last year, but the Packers' defense will keep every team they play this season in the game. The 24 points Green Bay gave up against Detroit was the team's best mark so far this season, but it was also almost twice as many points as the Lions scored in their first two games combined. Kevin Jones averaged almost five yards per carry and Jon Kitna threw for 342 yards and his first TD in a Lions uniform. Favre will have to recapture the form he had 10 years ago if the Packers are going to be competitive with that kind of defense.

25. Arizona Cardinals [24] — Edgerrin James had his first big game in a Cardinals uniform, and Warner threw for plenty of yards, but he also had three picks and a lost fumble. Reports are that Warner won't get a chance to redeem himself in Week 4, with rookie Matt Leinart getting the start at quarterback. The Falcons' defense didn't seem to scare Drew Brees on Monday night, but I can't help wondering if a game at Atlanta isn't the best time to throw Leinart into action.

26. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [26] — Chris Simms hasn't played well this season, but the team can't feel good about going into Week 4 with rookie Bruce Gradkowski as its starting quarterback. In last year's playoffs, Washington gave teams a blueprint for how to handle Simms, shutting down the run and forcing Simms to throw a lot, then waiting for him to make mistakes. Gradkowski can expect similar treatment from defenses.

27. San Francisco 49ers [25] — Suffered a couple of tough injuries in Sunday's loss: first-round draft pick Vernon Davis, who is expected to miss about a month, and emerging star Frank Gore, the team's leading rusher. On the bright side, Norv Turner's addition to the coaching staff has clearly had a positive impact on this team, and especially on QB Alex Smith, who has an 89.8 rating so far this season, a massive improvement from 40.8 in seven starts last year.

28. Cleveland Browns [28] — Frye made a huge, huge mistake at the end of the Baltimore game, and it cost his team a victory, but after watching Sunday's game, I understand why Cleveland's coaching staff was willing to go into this season with the unproven Frye as their starting quarterback. The kid's a leader, and he seems to have the intangible qualities quarterbacks need to succeed in the NFL. He also has some awfully promising young receivers in Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow, Jr.

29. Detroit Lions [27] — After holding Seattle to nine points and no touchdowns in Week 1, they've given up over 30 points in consecutive weeks. Detroit is one of two 0-3 teams in the NFC (Tampa Bay is the other), and three of the next four games are on the road. I say Detroit steals one and goes into the bye at 1-6, but 0-7 wouldn't surprise me. If that happens, Matt Millen might want to save everyone some trouble and just resign on his own.

30. Tennessee Titans [32] — The offense is in shambles, but the defense rebounded nicely from the beating it got against San Diego. The Titans have some legitimate talent on defense, and if that unit can step things up, Tennessee could cause trouble for some competitive opponents later this season. For now, though, the schedule looks forbidding, and the team will probably head into its bye week at 0-6. The best chance for an early season victory is this Sunday against Dallas. If the Titans can pressure Drew Bledsoe and reduce their mistakes on offense, they'll have the makings of an upset.

31. Oakland Raiders [31] — Randy Moss seems washed up. It's a shame, because at the top of his game, Moss was the best receiver in the league. In 2003, he had career-highs in receptions, yards, and touchdowns. In 2004, he was injured, and he hasn't been the same since. Some of that might be the shift to Oakland, and some of it might be lack of motivation, but the longer he fails to produce, the more likely it seems than Moss simply doesn't have the same physical skills he used to.

32. Houston Texans [30] — David Carr continues to have a good season, and he was only sacked once on Sunday, which is cause for celebration in Houston. The Texans' defense is cause for celebration everywhere else.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 9:11 PM | Comments (5)

If Not For Agassi...

What more can be said about Andre Agassi, the American tennis legend who finally called it quits after his third-round loss in the U.S. Open? Quite frankly, I don't think there's anything more I can say that would do justice to Agassi's unprecedented career both on and off the court.

But perhaps that is the way Agassi wants it to be. After a whirlwind two months that culminated with more New York pomp and circumstance than even Agassi himself could handle, he is no doubt ready to retire to the peace and quiet of his family. He went through enough drama in Flushing Meadows to last him a lifetime. He neither needs nor wants any more make-do about him.

So I will oblige and refrain from discussing him. I won't even mention his name again until the very end of this article. In fact, I'll pretend the guy never even existed.

The result of such imagination is what follows. (Keep in mind when reading that the true facts and statistics are altered to fit the scenario in which Agassi never was a tennis player).

A colossal changing of the guard in American tennis took place in the late 1980s and early '90s as aging veterans John McEnroe and Jimmy Connors made way for a quartet of upstarts. The group included Pete Sampras, Jim Courier, and Michael Chang, all of whom turned pro in 1988, and Todd Martin, who joined the professional ranks in 1990. The passing of the torch was no better symbolized than in 1991 on the United States National Tennis Center's Louis Armstrong Stadium, where Courier defeated the 39-year-old Connors after the veteran's absolutely magical run to the semifinals.

Courier was the most outlandish of the bunch, as Sampras, Chang, and Martin generally maneuvered around the spotlight and let their play do all the talking. Courier, on the other hand, was never afraid to speak his mind or to wear the unconventional outfit or to embrace the unconventional lifestyle. His personality led to a famous partnership with the Canon "Rebel" camera, whose "image is everything" slogan became Courier's mantra, as well. Of course, things did not exactly take off for either party, as Courier's career evaporated quickly after his last appearance in a Grand Slam final at Wimbledon in 1993.

Of course, American tennis did not begin and end with Courier. The other three Americans were no slouches, either.

Martin reached his first Grand Slam final at the U.S. Open in 1994, where he fell to first-time major champion Michael Stich. With a second Grand Slam victory (Stich won Wimbledon in 1991), the lanky German secured his place in tennis history as something more than just a one-hit wonder.

Martin, however, made it back to America's grandest tennis stage in 1999, where he faced Russia's Yevgeny Kafelnikov in the championship. At 29 years of age, Martin capitalized on what was his last real chance to go down in the history books as a Grand Slam champion. The moment was especially thrilling for the hometown crowd, for it was then and there that Martin became the last of the vaunted foursome to win a major.

The group's efforts — as well as more recent travails — in the Davis Cup, however, have given the Americans almost nothing to write home about. The United States has won the cup only once since 1982, as Sampras and company finally attained patriotic glory in 1995 after several disappointing years marked by squandered opportunities. In the 1990 Davis Cup final, Australia's Richard Fromberg and Darren Cahill steamrolled through an American team led by Michael Chang and Brad Gilbert.

Yes, that's the same Darren Cahill who has been coaching a guy by the name of Federer for the last three years in what is inarguably the most successful player-coach relationship on the current tour and one that has debatably eclipsed Sampras/Tom Gullikson standards.

Anyway, the United States seemed poised to make a deep run in the 1992 Davis Cup, but their dreams were abruptly shattered in the second round by an unheralded Czechoslovakian squad. Up 2-1 heading into the fourth singles rubber, Petr Korda stunned Pete Sampras 6-4, 6-3, 2-6, 6-3 to clinch the upset victory for the Czechs.

Such blemishes are few and far between on Sampras's singles resume, without question the most impressive curriculum vitae in the history of men's tennis. Although Roger Federer recently recorded his ninth Grand Slam title, he still has quite a ways to go before eclipsing Sampras's incredible mark of 16 major triumphs.

In addition to his record seven Wimbledon titles and five U.S. Open trophies, Sampras also excelled Down Under despite the Aussie Open's slower rebound ace surface that hindered Pistol Pete's power serve. Sampras finished his career with four Australian Open championships.

One of those titles, his second in Australia, came in 1995, when Sampras successfully defended his victory of just one year prior. In the finals, Sampras erased fellow American Aaron Krickstein, who was playing in his first — and only — Grand Slam final. After a third Aussie Open victory in 1997, Sampras won his fourth and final championship in Rod Laver Arena in 2000, at the expense of Kafelnikov.

While it was no secret that the red clay of Roland Garros tormented Sampras like no other surface in the world, most tennis fans assumed Sampras would eventually win a French Open after he reached the semifinals all the way back in 1992, just as his career was blossoming. Nonetheless, America's greatest tennis player of all time would never go further in Paris than he did that year, as Sampras only reached one more semifinal throughout the remainder of his hallowed tennis career.

The same tournament eludes the otherwise omniscient grasp of Roger Federer, although the only thing that seems to stand in between Federer and the French Open trophy is Rafael Nadal. But at this point in his career, Federer presumably craves a Roland Garros title more than any other on the ATP calendar, as a triumph in Paris would give him the career Grand Slam. As if Federer needs anymore accolades to secure his name among tennis greats, that would put him in some kind of elite company as only four men have ever won the career Grand Slam.

England's Fred Perry won all four majors at least once in his career, completing the feat at the 1935 French Championships. Only have two men have won the true Grand Slam by winning all four in the same year. American Don Budge did it in 1938, while Australia's Rod Laver seized the Grand Slam an amazing two times, in 1962 and again in 1969. Most recently, another Australian by the name of Roy Emerson became the fourth and final man to complete the career Grand Slam when he captured the 1964 Wimbledon championship.

That means it's been almost 42 years since any man has accomplished the historic feat of winning all four Grand Slam singles titles. Looking at the current makeup of the ATP tour, it seems only Mr. Federer has any chance of ending the drought.

Barring some sort of heroic discovery of how to master both hard courts and Wimbledon's lawn, Rafael Nadal won't do it. Lleyton Hewitt has two slams on his resume, but he won't do it. Marat Safin owns one title each at the Australian and U.S. Opens, but clay undoes his enormous game and upon setting foot on England's grass courts, his brain becomes almost as slippery as the surface on which he is standing.

Simply put, it's all up to Roger if any tennis player of our generation will be able to legitimately say that he was a man for all surfaces.

Unless Nadal can somehow win the next four French Opens, Federer is a great bet to get the job done.

I mean, heck, even guys like Ukraine's Adrei Medvedev have a French Open to their credit. In 1999, Medvedev defeated Dominik Hrbaty in what is still the only all-unseeded Grand Slam final of the Open era. For Medvedev, now retired, it was his only appearance in a major's championship match, while Hrbaty is still looking to get back to such a stage for the second time in his career.

Another man who appears to be sprinting toward the history books as a one-hit wonder is Rainer Schuettler, who stunned the 2001 Australian Open field by winning the championship as the No. 31 seed. Of course, the German should be the first to admit that he benefited from a shockingly favorable draw.

In the third round, Schuettler advanced with a walkover when he was scheduled to meet third-seeded and wildly-talented Marat Safin. In the semifinals, Schuettler met Andy Roddick, who had just persevered through a quarterfinal marathon with Morocco's Younes El Aynaoui. In one of the most thrilling matches in tennis history, Roddick eventually triumphed 21-19 in the fifth set after a five-hour slugfest. For the exhausted Roddick, adding insult to injury — or should I say injury to insult — was that the American fell awkwardly on his elbow at match point against El Aynaoui. So in a semifinal match that Schuettler otherwise should no doubt have lost, he took out the hampered Roddick with relative ease.

As luck would have it, awaiting Schuettler in the finals was unseeded Wayne Ferreira. At 31-years-old and competing in his first ever Grand Slam final, Ferreira put up a fight early, but Schuettler eventually dispatched the South African to win his first and last Grand Slam title.

One of the more emotional Grand Slam victories in recent memory came Down Under in 2001, when local hero Patrick Rafter emerged unscathed from a grueling seven-match run through the Australian Open. Rafter gave the enthralled hometown crowd exactly what it came to see during the final weekend, as the Australian took out Todd Martin in the semifinals before decimating unseeded Frenchman Arnaud Clement in the finals.

Rafter, however, could not reproduce the same magic six months later at the All England Lawn & Tennis Club. After storming through the Wimbledon draw, Rafter met two-time champion Goran Ivanisevic for the title. To adequately place this clash of two great champions in proper historical context, we must flash back fourteen years in time.

At Wimbledon in 1992, Ivanisevic navigated a memorable run through the draw that resulted in his first Grand Slam title. After defeating No. 2 Stefan Edberg and fifth-ranked Pete Sampras in the quarterfinals and semifinals, respectively, the giant Croatian crushed unseeded veteran John McEnroe in the championship match.

With one Wimbledon title already in his back pocket, Ivanisevic brought with him a jovial attitude toward life both on and off the court and refused to be phased by future career disappointments. Having suffered several crushing defeats to Pete Sampras at Wimbledon between 1993 and 1995, Goran bounced back nicely the next year to hoist his second Wimbledon trophy.

So when Ivanisevic met Rafter in the 2001 Wimbledon final, it was the Australian — not Goran — who stepped on the hallowed grounds of Center Court as the sentimental favorite. Although the crowd urged Rafter to finally capture tennis' most famous championship, Ivanisevic played as if he was immune to the pressure of the moment and secured his third Wimbledon title.

While Rafter retired without a Wimbledon championship, he'll be remembered for finally coming through where it mattered most, in his homeland of Australia.

At the present time, the U.S. Open is starved for some of its own hometown heroism. Sure Andy Roddick thrilled the New York faithful with his victory in 2003, but the youngster did not and still does not captivate his national crowd in the same way an aging veteran like Patrick Rafter held his Aussie following spellbound with every stroke in 2001.

Our national championship also remains in wait of an unforgettable match that can rival the Connors/Krickstein 1992 legendary semifinal or Australia's Roddick-El Aynaoui classic.

It's certainly hard to pinpoint the most epic match of this year's Open. Perhaps it was Lleyton Hewitt's fourth-round victory over Richard Gasquet in which the Frenchman played a valiant fifth set with terrible cramps before succumbing to the fiery Australian. Or maybe it was one of a trio of matches that ventured into the exciting realm of a fifth-set tiebreaker, such as the Safin/Haas fourth-round collision.

All I'm sure of is that the 2006 Open's most memorable duel was not eighth-seeded Marcos Baghdatis' second or third round match. In the second round, the flamboyant Cypriot dismantled veteran Andrei Pavel in straight sets. Baghdatis followed up the rout by utterly destroying somebody named Benjamin Becker from Germany. "B. Becker," unseeded and ranked 112 in the world, is almost completely unknown to the tennis world and will be remembered only for not being Boris Becker.

It's equally difficult to put a finger on the defining match of the 2005 U.S. Open, although the stars of the tournament were Americans Robby Ginepri and James Blake. Ginepri certainly had flair for the dramatic that year, winning three consecutive five-set matches over Haas, Gasquet, and Guillermo Coria to reach the semifinals. Blake, energized throughout the fortnight by the raucous "J-Block," took out Ginepri in the semis before losing in his first ever Grand Slam final appearance to the invincible Federer.

Of course, there are far more pressing issues right now than the recent dearth of U.S. Open drama or the general malaise of American tennis.

Take, for example, the situation in Las Vegas, where disadvantaged and at-risk youth have no safe haven toward which to turn. When will someone step up and open up a tuition-free charter school for the youth? When will Vegas's Clark County receive adequate funding to host a residential facility for abused and neglected children? Who, in Las Vegas areas beset by drugs and gangs, will establish a Boys and Girls Club so that kids can choose not to fall in with the wrong crowd after the school day, but instead receive extra training in the educational, recreational, and social facets of life?

Wait, that just reminded me. I just realized there is something more I can say about Andre Agassi, even though it has been said many times before.

In a word, thanks.

And in saying such a profound and heartfelt "thanks," I know I speak for many more than just myself. I say thanks not only on behalf of the thousands of children whose lives you have touched, or the handful of young Americans just now picking up their tennis rackets for the first time who are destined to become the future of American tennis because of the inspiration you have given them. No, I also say thanks on behalf of professional tennis players both past and present, many of whom you unassumingly deprived of a Grand Slam title or two.

I say thanks on behalf of Pete Sampras, whose legend could be even more amazing with 16 Grand Slam titles, but who would not have been a part of one of tennis's all-time great rivalries.

I say thanks on behalf of Americans Andy Roddick, James Blake, and Robby Ginepri, all three of whom would have more impressive results on their resumes, but all three of whom would have been deprived of a mentor who led by example in terms of carrying oneself both on and off the court.

I even say thanks on behalf of Marcos Baghdatis, who missed a chance to make a deep run at the 2006 U.S. Open, perhaps costing him a berth in the year-end Masters Cup, but who will be a fan favorite in New York for years to come as he navigates his way through many more U.S. Open draws.

Thanks, Andre. I don't know what the game would have been like without you.

Posted by Ricky Dimon at 8:47 PM | Comments (11)

Mr. Baseball Needs a Sequel

Let me start by saying this: Mr. Baseball is a piece of cinematic mastery.

I don't know how you people managed to let me go this many years satisfying my appetite for below-average early-'90s sports films solely on multiple viewings of Necessary Roughness and White Men Can't Jump, but I've finally caught on and I'm not pleased that it took this long.

Sure, I was like everybody else back in 1992, itching to see the new Tom Selleck flick the minute it hit the big screen. But come on I was 11-years-old, I also had my mind blown by Fred Savage in The Wizard.

And yet somehow, I went more than half my life without revisiting the story of Jack Elliot, an aging slugger inexplicably dealt to the Japanese league, who learns first-hand what it means to be a really tall outsider.

Now having done that, I feel as if I'm seeing the whole game again for the first time.

Beyond the film's redeeming qualities of painfully obvious size-differential humor and a cameo from a young Frank Thomas, it can teach every baseball fan today something valuable about how both the sport and world are changing.

Apparently in 1992, the West was still operating under the assumption that Japanese people were complete idiots and that only three of several million could understand English. When Elliot's slamming Japan in his welcome press conference, his translator tidies up everything he says and miraculously, all of the reporters blindly buy every word of it.

Meanwhile, we're talking about a player that gets sent packing by the 1992 Yankees, and somehow he's in a position to liken Japan (and for that matter, Canada) to Cleveland.

But the irony is this: in the world of baseball as it stands there's been a bit of a role reversal and it's the U.S. that's benefiting most from the free baseball exchange. Sure, American players still go to Japan, but the days when an aging slugger would have been an exciting addition to a Japanese team have given way to rising concerns from Japan about their simple ability to hold on to talent.

They get players like Gabe Kapler and Kevin Millar (before Theo Epstein inevitably yanks them back to Boston), while Major League Baseball gets the likes of Ichiro Suzuki and Hideki Matsui. You know, franchise-altering talent types of players.

And yeah, that seems like a fair trade.

If anything, what we need now is a sequel: the story of a brilliant Japanese star that comes to play for the New York Yankees under the pressure of a multi-year contract worth several million dollars. Instead of Elliot trying to squeeze his massive feet into undersized flip-flops you'd have Tomiko slipping comfortably into his crisp complimentary Nike training shoes before not only beating off a throng of American reporters (who really wouldn't have a clue what he was talking about) and an even larger congregation of Japanese media.

Now that would be funny. You know, USA at the World Baseball Classic funny.

Hey, who ended up winning that thing, anyway?

Posted by Aaron Miller at 8:03 PM | Comments (0)

September 25, 2006

Teams Sacrificing Style, Winning Ugly

After his Ohio State Buckeyes knocked off Penn State 28-6 Saturday, a reporter asked Jim Tressel if he placed any importance on style points.

"I've never been accused of [having] style," the sweater-vested head coach chuckled in response.

As several aspiring national champions showed on Saturday, sometimes the substance of a win matters a little more than its style.

Tressel's top-ranked Buckeyes weren't the only ones who squeaked out a win in less than dominating fashion. Unbeaten Georgia needed a call to the quarterback bullpen and a miraculous touchdown in the 60th minute against still-winless Colorado to eek out a 14-13 win. Notre Dame needed its own heavenly intervention, not to mention a few gifts wrapped in Spartan green bows, to resuscitate any last gasp hopes of a run to the BCS title game.

While these clunkers aren't the games that will propel teams to a title run, they certainly beat the alternative. In a sport where one loss puts a team in purgatory and a second loss means eternal damnation (well, at least until next year), it's the program that escapes with even the ugliest of wins that lives to contend another week.

As conference play heats up, we've reached this season's point of no return. In all likelihood, a loss past this point spells the end of a title run. Sure, Nebraska, Oklahoma, and LSU all survived late-season conference losses to reach the BCS championship game in the last five years. However, those were all in seasons where the BCS formula placed greater emphasis on the empirical factors like computer polls and quality-win points. Now that human pollsters compose two of the three BCS determinants, a repeat of that scenario seems improbable.

So, Captain Obvious, what is the best advice for this year's college football contenders? Channeling Al Davis — just win, baby.

We often think of college powers running up scores and showcasing superstars as coaches pose for pollsters and solicit for supporters in some gridiron popularity contest, but a look back at last year's title game entrants shows the necessity of winning ugly.

Before last season's Rose Bowl, a certain cable sports network asked if the 2005 USC team was the best ever. Riding an unbeaten streak of more than two calendar years and a Heisman Trophy backfield, the Trojans were the spoiled poster children of dominance. However, a quick look at their scores during that period shows encounters where USC barely escaped.

Few will forget the "Bush Push" quarterback sneak that led the Trojans over Notre Dame, but many fans east of the Rockies might not recall Aaron Rodgers' Cal Bears having four shots inside the 10-yard-line to overcome a 23-17 deficit in the final minutes at the Coliseum. Even Superman-in-cleats, Vince Young, faced the possibility of defeat at Ohio State and, to a lesser extent, against Texas A&M in 2005.

The reality is the same unpredictability that we love in college football also tarnishes some of its best teams. These young men, not yet old enough to rent a car, carry hulking boulders of pressure on their shoulders. Even the best coaches with the most prepared teams are going to have to scrap in the fourth quarter at least a few times each season.

So for fans of Ohio State, Georgia, and every other college football goliath with dreams of Glendale, don't be afraid of that uneasy feeling you had in your stomach Saturday as your squad fought into the game's waning moments. Even BCS champions have to face their own mortality at least once a season.

Consider those nail-biting plays the Mona Lisa smile of college football. Even winning ugly can have a certain beauty.

Posted by Corrie Trouw at 5:59 PM | Comments (0)

Ryder Cup: USA! USA! U...S...A...

The Americans worked themselves into a big hole during the Friday and Saturday pairs matches at the Ryder Cup in Ireland. The 10-6 hole deficit nearly mirrored what the red, white, and blue (or some kind of weird Argyle) faced two years ago at Oakland Hills in this same event— in fact, the Americans improved that deficit by a point in this edition of the matches.

Two years ago, in the Sunday singles' matches, the Americans managed just 4.5 out of a possible 12 points against the Europeans. The end result: the most lopsided, embarrassing final score in the history of the Ryder Cup — an 18.5 to 9.5 ass-whipping on American soil. This time, the result was almost exactly the same. The Americans were one point worse in the singles matches at the K Club, garnering a pathetic 3.5 points against a very strong European team. The result was the same as the 2004 Ryder Cup — another shameful 18.5 to 9.5 loss.

If you are an American, and I am, then what are you to make of this result? The one last bastion of hope and arrogance that the Americans had before the 2004 Ryder Cup was the singles format. The Americans have historically dominated that portion of the matches — in fact, so much so that the format was changed to provide more emphasis on the team match component. But, in the last two Ryder Cups, the Americans have a listless record of 8-16 against the Europeans in that format.

The Americans have always acknowledged their weakness in the team component. Hell, the 10-6 deficit was about common by recent standards. The President's Cup left the American captain, Tom Lehman, with some hope that this trend might be changed through the pairings of Jim Furyk/Tiger Woods and Chris DiMarco/Phil Mickelson that were so instrumental in the United States winning at RTJ last September. As it turns out, that was not the case in these matches as these two teams were marginal in their contribution to the trouncing.

Put these two realities together, and combine it with the fact that the Americans are nowhere near as close-knit as the European team, and it is not hard to realize that the USA has not a single significant advantage in the Ryder Cup. The reality says that the Americans should get crushed and, guess what, they did.

Do not fool yourself, though, if you are a European fan that will be talking trash for the next two years. The Americans, at the top of their team, are more talented than each and every European team member. The results in the most important tournaments in the world show that. Woods, Mickelson, Furyk, and even DiMarco are better golfers statistically over the past five years than every player on the European team. The Americans have and will likely continue to dominate in worldwide medal play events — it's a fact of life.

But, and this is a big one, if you are an American fan, you can no longer tout that fact when it comes to team-styled, match play based formats. The European team may be a bunch of B to B+ players, but they are all in that ranking. And what's more important than that is that they play like B+ to A players in the Ryder Cup.

Also, the bottom half of the American team consists of a bunch of B- to B players in terms of resume and experience. This team featured four untested Ryder Cup rookies. While the four of them made some significant contributions, especially J.J. Henry and Zach Johnson, that effort is not good enough. For the Americans to ever win the Ryder Cup again, all 12 players have to bond well and contribute to the team cause. The fact that Brett Wetterich had never met Tiger Woods before a pow-wow just one month before the matches is a sure sign that the Americans are not close enough. Making a couple of recon trips to the K Club and singing college fight songs together do not constitute closeness.

The best Americans are indeed the most talented in the world at individual tournaments, but the money available to them on the PGA Tour affords them a limited schedule. This limited schedule causes these players to appear aloof and distant to the other six to eight guys that struggle to make the team. How can a team bond together if some members are only ever playing for themselves and never really get to know the other players that could team with them for crucial victories in these kinds of formats? The correct answer is that type of bonding is impossible under those conditions.

The American team used to be closer. Jack, the Tom W's, and the rest of the USA team in the 1970s were competitors in individual events, but they had a bond that drove them together to consistently crush the Europeans (well, GB&I) in the Ryder Cup. The matches used to be a foregone conclusion before they ever started in the favor of the Americans.

Since 1985, though, that has changed. The European Tour began to produce a deeper batch of players, despite limited prize pools. They bonded and committed themselves to using the Ryder Cup as a stage for proving that European professional golf was alive, growing, and determined to be great again — even if they didn't show it much elsewhere. And it worked.

Now the Europeans use this stage to abuse the American assertion that they are the ultimate, unchallenged golfing power in the world. The Europeans may not show their considerable talents in the majors, but they deserve the respect of the American golfing public. They are fantastic golfers and they will win more majors.

Back to back embarrassments in the Ryder Cups can only lead to one conclusion — something fundamentally has to change for the Americans if they ever intend to seriously challenge for the Ryder Cup again. As a point of anecdote, I received a few pieces of smack talk from European fans following their win and every word read of a passion that the Americans seriously lack for this event. It will take an American commitment, anger, and spirit that resemble the words in those messages for this group of players to return to prior glory.

Posted by Ryan Ballengee at 5:33 PM | Comments (0)

September 23, 2006

Happy Endings in New Orleans

There was a possibility, not too long ago, that New Orleans would be without an NFL team.

The Superdome was ravaged by Katrina, and owner Tom Benson was making the case that it was economically unviable for him to keep the team in the city.

Thankfully, that was not the case.

On Monday night, the Saints will play their first game in the Superdome since Hurricane Katrina dealt a menacing blow to New Orleans. The city, the nation, the team, and the fans are all looking forward to the national broadcast with much anticipation and excitement, not just because the Saints are 2-0, but also because they still represent the city of New Orleans.

Dr. Timothy Ryan, in a study done some years ago, determined that the Saints and the NFL bring millions upon millions of dollars to the city of New Orleans and the surrounding area with employment, television coverage, free exposure to tourists, and the general economic impact on other businesses, such as restaurants and hotels.

But the impact of the Saints goes beyond the dollars it contributes to the local economy.

The New Orleans Saints represent something to the city, a rallying point, a common cause, an escape from the devastation of Katrina, a sense of community, and a commitment to the city.

Sixteen Sundays this year, the city will join together in celebration.

If the team had been moved, those sixteen Sundays would just be a reminder of another way that the country had forgotten about them.

Because while New Orleans may not be the biggest haven of NFL fanatics, like Pittsburgh or Green Bay, the city and the state still love their football and they show it (for example, by selling out every seat in the Superdome for the entire season).

Coming from Cleveland, I can understand the passion they have for their team, and the lost and dejected feeling they would have if it was taken away from them. After all, it wasn't too long ago that Art Modell took the Browns to Baltimore, and I was forced to sit every Sunday in my Browns jersey and wonder what happened to my team.

For now, the Saints are 2-0 and about to debut in their hometown for a national audience, and they have much to be proud of, notably all the work that the team has put into the recovery process in the area with generous donations, fundraising, and volunteering.

That may be the strongest bond the team has with the city right now, and probably a bigger reason that there has been a groundswell of support for the Saints than their initial 2-0 record.

Oh yeah, there may be one other reason also.

Reggie Bush.

Languished by years of ineptitude and carousels of quarterbacks, the Saints went out and got quarterback Drew Brees in the offseason, and landed a gold mine with the second pick in the draft after the Houston Texans passed on Bush.

Two new additions on the offensive side and suddenly there was a note of excitement when people talked about the Saints. Even if the team continued the string of mediocre seasons, there was something to look forward to — new blood, new offense, new possibilities.

It would be near-sighted to think that Bush was and is the complete answer to the woes of the Saints. One man can't possibly raise up a team on his shoulders and turn them from a bottom-feeder into a playoff contender.

However, Bush is a lightning rod of entertainment and skill. He has shown in his first two games an ability to make things happen on the field beyond his trademarked scampers forward, backward, sideways, and any other way. Sure, his ability to artfully elude defenders by skipping around like his legs were pogo-sticks has been displayed. However, he has also shown an ability to play within the offensive system and make tough yards on plays by using his natural strength and speed (aka going upfield instead of backwards). He already has 192 all-purpose yards, and has been adept at working out of the backfield and as a wide receiver.

Put everything together — Drew Brees, the recovery efforts by the organization, the goodwill of the city, the efforts to keep the team in New Orleans by the NFL, the drafting of Reggie Bush — and you get the reason why the Saints have sold-out the regular season. You get the answer to why everyone living in New Orleans, and otherwise, are looking forward to Monday night's game.

There couldn't be a better national stage for the team, the city, and the fans to be on after all that has happened in New Orleans.

Posted by Vince Grzegorek at 10:09 PM | Comments (4)

Jumping On the Mets Bandwagon

If you're a regular reader, you know I'm a Mets, Jets, Nets, and Devils fan. I owe the first three loyalties to my father — then again, a quick check of their respective winning percentages over the last 30 years makes me believe he might actually owe me.

I respect my father as one of the truest, most dedicated sports fans alive. Not only because he steadfastly refuses to accept that the Nets are going to move to Brooklyn one day, but because he has managed to have a successful marriage while watching nearly every sporting event ever held involving his teams — by ironing more clothes than a Korean dry cleaner in front of the television.

But he's lost some of that respect recently.

For years, the Mets were dead to him. Because of the strike. Because of the futility. Because baseball just wasn't on his radar screen like it was for about 40 previous seasons.

Today? It's like talking on the phone to Buddy Harrelson. My dad is Mr. Met, chronicling every at-bat of the NL East champs like he was writing next year's media guide. He's even made a pilgrimage to the Mets Clubhouse shop to pick up some new geek gear to show off on the weekends — he's especially fond of the 69/86 World Series hat he assumes will be obsolete by the end of October.

You can always tell my dad is into a team because the players immediately become "the boys" in casual conversations. "Did you see the boys against the Rangers last night?" "Are the boys on TV against New England this week?" "If Jason Kidd hits that jumper, the boys win."

The Mets haven't been the boys for the last 10 years.

Which makes my father a bandwagon fan.

Some might label my father's newfound love for the Mets as his being a "fair-weather" fan. I never liked that term. It's P.C. for "bandwagon," like using "shoplifter" instead of "thief" or "Chris Simms" instead of "sucks."

He's a bandwagon Mets fan.

That's a difficult thing for me to accept, because of the spoonfuls of bile I've seen my father swallow as a Nets and Jets fan. It's one thing to have the romantic heartbreak of a Red Sox or Cubs fan; it's an entirely different situation when the majority of your fan life has been spent wading through a cesspool of futility. And by that I mean paying to watch Sam Bowie play center and Joe Walton coach a professional football team.

But here's the rub, dear friends — is my father truly a bandwagon fan? He's not one of these dolts in NYC who owns a Mets hat and a Yankees hat and swaps one for the other depending on what he sees on the 11 o'clock sports highlights. He's a guy who rooted for Kranepool and Seaver and Koosman and Tug and Darryl and Doc and Hernandez. He's got Mets t-shirts older than I am. And like a lot of baseball fans his age, the strike really did him some harm — cancelling the World Series was like taking a dump on a picture of the Pope.

So is it fair to call him a bandwagon fan when he practically helped build the bandwagon?

If the Mets win the World Series, I know his celebration will come from a place of longtime dedication to the team. But it'll be different than when I was with him for the Devils' first Stanley Cup, because at that time I knew how much spirit-crushing disappointment we had shared as fans. That he was able to practically check out on the Mets until now dulls that pain a bit.

But if the Mets lose in the postseason — and pleasedeargod let it not be the Yankees again — perhaps there will have actually been a small victory this year: winning an old fan back to the bandwagon.

Greg Wyshynski is the Features Editor for SportsFan Magazine in Washington, DC, and the Senior Sports Editor for The Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. His book is "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History." His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 10:02 PM | Comments (0)

September 22, 2006

Americans in Ireland: Ryders on the Storm

Has it reached the point of desperation yet? Will they play as if the well-being of their country hinges on every backswing? On every follow-through? On every knee-wobbling four-footer left for par?

If ever the United States faced a must-win situation in the Ryder Cup, ladies and gentlemen, this is it. The Americans are in the midst of two-match losing streak, which probably doesn't sound all that bad on the surface, but you could also just as legitimately say that they haven't won the Cup since 1999. That's seven years. That sounds a lot worse than a two-match losing streak, and quite frankly, it rings truer in describing just how dire the Ryder Cup situation has become for the Americans.

It's our albatross. And if it isn't, it should be.

Think of it this way. If the United States loses again this week at the K-Club in Ireland, it won't get another crack at the Ryder Cup until 2008. That means if Europe prevails once again, the Cup will have lived on European soil for a full nine years until it is put up for grabs the next time around. Maybe such a prolonged stay with an opponent would be bearable if you were the Ghanaian soccer team facing the Brazilians in a one-match-for-the-whole-thing World Cup every four years. But for an American team — one that should be and is more talented than their European counterparts almost every year — that is completely and utterly unacceptable.

Granted, this isn't war. Life does not depend on the outcome. Even if the Americans lose 28 points to nothing, they'll fly back to Ireland, the sun will rise on a new day, and life will go on. Compared to soccer, the World Cup, heck, even the European Champions League, this is a blip on the world of sports' radar screen.

But don't think for a second that this means nothing is riding on the Ryder. I'll just assume Tiger, Phil, and the other 10 guys along with captain Tom Lehman who make up the American squad know just how important this is. I'll assume they're feeling as much pressure, if not more, than they do at Augusta's Amen Corner on Masters Sunday. If any one of them doesn't, well, that one should have forfeited his spot weeks ago to someone like Davis Love or Justin Leonard who would do anything to be there this week and would do even more to win.

And if any one of them doesn't realize how the outcome of the 2006 Ryder Cup will contribute to the ever-increasing failures American sports, he doesn't need to be expelled from the team, but he does need a brief history lesson.

And by "history," I mean 2006, because there have already been more national flops in this calendar year than most sports fans in this country can stomach. Consider:

United States National Basketball Team

Without question, the most talented in the nation. Finish at the FIBA world championships last month: third place. How? you might ask incredulously. Simple. No team play. No team defense. Minimal effort. Even less heart.

United States National Soccer Team

Unlike the hoopsters, they have never been the most talented in the world. At the 2006 World Cup, they might not have even graced the top 10 in terms of talent. But that doesn't mean they had to get embarrassed by the Czech Republic, who, let me remind you, didn't even advance out of pool play. That also doesn't mean they had to lose to Ghana, whose entire population is probably less than what the attendance at the K-Club will be this weekend.

2006 Winter Olympics

The United States came in second in the medal count, four behind Germany, but it was not an impressive second. The Americans' effort in Turin this year will be remembered not for the 25 medals or the nine golds. Instead, it will be remembered for Bode Miller's 0-for-5 embarrassment and the ridiculously unnecessary Shani Davis-Chad Hedrick speed skating feud.

World Baseball Classic

The U.S. squad limped out of pool play after losing to lowly Canada, and then got erased from the tournament in round two via losses to Korea and Mexico. And our team featured the likes of Roger Clemens, Derek Jeter, A-Rod, Ken Griffey, Jr., Johnny Damon, and Chipper Jones?! And the tournament was on our own soil?! Ouch.

So the question remains: can United States athletes thrive in team sports?

Recent Ryder Cup results suggest a resounding no. In 2004 at Michigan's Oakland Hills, Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson inexplicably were paired together by the much-maligned Hal Sutton and you'd be kidding yourself if you said that turned out okay. It wasn't mediocre. It wasn't even bad. It was an absolute disaster. It was the Hindenburg explosion, for crying out loud!

Meanwhile, the Europeans spent their time over in the U.S. wining and dining and acting as if they were in the company of each golfer's 11 best friends on this planet. And their golf certainly reflected the attitude, as the Europeans trounced the Americans 18½ to 9½, the largest margin of victory in the Ryder Cup since 1981.

Between 1987 and 2002, the greatest margin was only 15½ to 12½, and in 1995, 1997, and 1999, the score was 14½ to 13½. That's three consecutive years of the Ryder Cup competition ending as close as it possibly can without being a tie, making the abomination of 2004 seem that much worse.

Which means there is something else at stake this time. Something of which we are about to find out whether or not this American team has.

Pride. The same pride that has been on life support ever since the first ball of the last Ryder Cup was struck.

Whether they have it or not remains to be seen, but we do know whose pride is at stake this weekend at the K-Club. Here are the 12 Americans (in order of their value to the team) who will attempt to do what many think is beyond their capability and bring the trophy back home where it belongs; as well as the 12 Europeans, who are always the favorites in their own eyes, but who now assume the unfamiliar roles of being the true Ryder Cup favorites.

United States

1. Tiger Woods — He's the best golfer in the world and had been absolutely on fire until last week's first-round match play loss to Shaun Micheel. While he has lost some of his invincibility when it comes to match play, he is still the guy nobody wants to face and he gives the United States a chance to win every match in which he is participating.

2. Jim Furyk — Despite his quirky swing, Furyk has been playing great golf of late. The veteran should be an outstanding leader for the four rookies on the team, as he will lead by example both on and off the golf course.

3. Phil Mickelson — Phil is arguably the second best player in the world, although it remains to be seen whether or not he has recovered from the 72nd-hole debacle at the U.S. Open. If the enormity of the Ryder Cup can take his mind off the collapse, Phil is a good as anyone the Europeans' can throw at him.

4. Chris DiMarco — If the United States team had 12 Chris DiMarcos, its desire to win the Ryder Cup would not even be on par with the Europeans — it would be above and beyond. Remember last year's Presidents' Cup? That's DiMarco in a nutshell, that image of him sinking the winning putt on the 18th green in front of his captain, Jack Nicklaus. DiMarco has been tantalizingly close to three major wins, and although he has none, he treats international competition the same way. If the Americans' win another "major," this week, DiMarco will be a huge reason why.

5. David Toms — He is finally healthy, playing solid golf, and is a former major champion to boot. Toms has a winning Ryder Cup record at 4-3-1, so the veteran knows how to get the job done under pressure.

6. Chad Campbell — The 2004 disaster was his first taste of Ryder Cup action, so Campbell knows what it's like to be humbled in such a way and he'll be out to remedy the situation. He is a solid golfer and a solid teammate as well, so he's exactly what this team needs.

7. Stewart Cink — By far the better of Lehman's two captain's picks, Cink is a Ryder Cup veteran and he's had a solid 2006 campaign on the PGA tour. While his 2-4-1 record in Ryder Cups is unspectacular, at least he has experience, which is what one-third of the U.S. squad lacks completely.

8. Zach Johnson — The Cup rookie is 17th on the PGA tour's money list this year, and he is has four top-10 finishes. Unfortunately, Johnson made only one cut in his four major appearances this season, so we'll have to see how Johnson copes with the moment over at the K-Club.

9. Brett Wetterich — He absolutely massacres the ball off the tee and is a flat-out birdie machine. The Ryder Cup rookie should be one of the team's most valuable four-ball and alternate-shot players. Wetterich has had a solid year that includes a victory at the Byron Nelson Championship in May.

10. Scott Verplank — Verplank played in 2002 and posted a 2-1 record against the Europeans. However, he has struggled with his game recently, making his selection as a captain's pick a somewhat curious decision. Still, Verplank is an expert at putting the ball in the fairway and that will be a huge asset at this year's Cup.

11. J.J. Henry — Another Ryder rookie, Henry has been playing great golf in recent months and even won the Buick Open in June. To say he is unknown would be an understatement, so his performance at the K-Club will go a long way in terms of how golf fans think of him.

12. Vaughn Taylor — Who? His picture is not even available on his ESPN.com bio! But, hey, the rookie is a great putter, so maybe he can create some unexpected, Justin Leonard-like magic with the short club.

Europe

1. Colin Montgomerie — Monty is the leader of the European squad, and both the Europeans and the Americans know it. "If I had to pick one player out who has been their most outstanding Ryder Cupper over the last decade, it's been Colin Montgomerie," said America's Stewart Cink. The great Scot has amassed 21½ points in his Cup career with an overall record of 19-8-5 and he's an undefeated 5-0-2 in singles. In his last four appearances, Monty is an incredible 12-3-3. He won't surprise the Americans, but he will in all likelihood beat them.

2. Darren Clarke — Regardless of how Clarke performs this week, the captain's pick is the emotional force behind the European club. Clarke's wife passed away last month and the Europeans were quick to rally around their friend. With teammates and fans steadfastly in his corner, the support for Clarke will be radiating throughout the raucous K-Club. By the way, his golf game isn't too shabby, either. Clarke has contended for major titles, is a former World Match Play champion, and posted a solid 3-1-1 record in Europe's 2004 Cup victory.

3. Luke Donald — He is not as experienced as other members of the team, but Donald is perhaps playing the best golf of them all right now. He played with Tiger in the final pairing of this year's PGA Championship, and while he understandably struggled, he did recover to tie for third place. Donald also won the 2006 Honda Classic, and he should benefit this weekend from having been on the victorious 2004 Ryder Cup squad.

4. Sergio Garcia — Garcia is arguably Europe's most talented player, not to mention arguably at the head of the "best player never to win a major" conversation. What Garcia does have, however, is an incredible Ryder Cup resume. He is 10-3-1 overall and in the 2004 blowout he posted a dominant 4-0-1 record.

5. David Howell — Although not exactly a household name in the United States, Howell has quietly ascended to No. 13 in the world golf rankings. He has two victories in 2006 and was a member of the 2004 European team. Howell lost to Furyk in a singles match that year, but an American will really have to go low to defeat him this time.

6. Paul Casey — Ranked No. 17 in the world, Casey blistered the field at last week's match play tournament, rolling through Goosen, Weir, Montgomerie, and Micheel. No match was closer than 5 and 3, and the championship round lasted only 28 holes out of a possible 36. Needless to say, Casey looks good to go heading into his second Ryder Cup appearance.

7. Padraig Harrington — You know you have a good team when Padraig Harrington might be only your seventh most valuable asset. He hasn't been tearing up golf courses of late, but he did finish tied for fifth at the U.S. Open and reached the quarterfinals of the Accenture Match Play earlier this year. Padraig has been on three Ryder Cup teams and has a solid 7-4-1 record in those contests.

8. Henrik Stenson — At 30 years of age, this late-bloomer is just now reaching his potential. He has climbed all the way to No. 11 on the world golf rankings and has one win and two runner-up finishes in 2006. Stenson's only potential blemish is that he is making his Ryder Cup debut.

9. Lee Westwood — Westwood has not had a great 2006 campaign — in fact, he hasn't enjoyed a great season in quite some time. But don't write Westwood off in Ryder Cup play just yet. The veteran is 11-8-1 all-time and went 4-0-1 in Cup play in 2004. Furthermore, Ian Woosnam made Westwood a captain's pick, so perhaps that will restore some of his evaporated confidence.

10. Jose Maria Olazabal — I think the definition of a deep team is when a two-time Masters champion is arguably your 10th most valuable player. That is the case here, as Olazabal is competing in his seventh Ryder Cup. He is still a force to be reckoned with, especially in Cup play where the seasoned veteran is a career 15-8-5.

11. Robert Karlsson — Like Stenson, Karlsson was a late arrival in terms of establishing himself as solid player on tour. Karlsson has been playing some outstanding golf recently, racking up two wins in 2006 and just last week reaching the semis of the match play before narrowly losing to Shaun Micheel. He looks poised to make an effective debut for the European side.

12. Paul McGinley — His ranking here says more about the depth and talent of Europe's squad than it does about McGinley's value. After all, it was McGinley who sank the Cup-clinching putt in 2002 in a singles match with Furyk. Not only is the veteran a nine-time winner on various tours, but he is also a solid team guy and an outstanding leader for the few youngsters on the well-traveled European squad.

Of course what it all boils down to is not the individual parts, but how those individual parts coexist to form one, cohesive unit.

As Gene Hackman, playing Coach Norman Dale, says in the movie Hoosiers: "Team, team, team. No one more important than the other."

If the 12 American golfers do not have that idea firmly entrenched in their mind, it could be another long weekend of international competition for the United States.

Posted by Ricky Dimon at 10:41 PM | Comments (0)

Big 12: The Dirty Dozen

On a day when the rest of the college football elite were making statements on Separation Saturday, the Big 12's dismal showing could have been better tabbed as So-Much-For-Being-a-Power-Conference Saturday.

While heavyweights squared off in the SEC, Michigan finally found its swagger, and several other teams proved themselves, the thud of disappointment echoed from Norman to College Station.

The conference's combined 5-7 record last weekend was hardly the stuff of BCS goliaths, but the numbers don't come close to showing how the Big 12's rank-and-file foundation crumbled like termite-infested timber.

It's one thing for the Baylor Bears to blow a lead they held for most of the game at Washington State, but two other Lone star lineups deserve a lashing for shaming their proud conference.

In a battle of former SWC foes, the reportedly high-octane Texas Tech offense scratched across the whopping sum of three points at TCU. But at least their embarrassment came at the hands of a ranked opponent who, believe-it-or-not, has the country's longest active winning streak.

Saturday night, Aggie was short for aggravation. Texas A&M probably kicked off in the Alamo Dome Saturday night against Army with visions of 80-yard second-string touchdowns go-routing through their minds. Instead, three hours later, their defense was digging in on the goal line to hold back the Cadets as they tried to punch in a go-ahead touchdown in the game's waning moments. The Aggies pulled out a sister-kissing 28-24 win that spoke to the mediocrity of everyone in the Big 12 not wearing burnt orange.

Pile on noteworthy losses by supposedly-resurgent Nebraska and blatantly-robbed Oklahoma (when you play in Eugene, OR and Dan Fouts is doing play-by-play, I guess you shouldn't expect to get the calls) to Pac-10 opponents, and a tradition-rich group of schools and fans simultaneously groped for the panic button.

So what do we make of this resounding "down year" verdict for the Big 12? Consider it an enormous grain of salt as conference play rolls on.

College football necessitates comparisons and considerations from off the playing field perhaps more than any other sport. Heck, even the participants in the sport's biggest game are chosen by voters and computers that can only determine championship credentials through gridiron daydreams. So when decisions about the Big 12's resume need to be made in the season's late months, don't forget last weekend.

When Mike Leach's Red Raiders display a more potent air attack than NATO Saturday against Southeastern Louisiana, remember last weekend.

When Bevo looks on disinterestedly as Texas ropes another conference foe for half-a-hundred, remember last weekend.

When Colorado and Kansas State, previously Fiesta Bowl-caliber neo-stalwarts of the conference, get sliced up by top-10 buzz-saws on Saturday (the winless Buffaloes travel to AP No. 9 Georgia and K-State hosts No. 8 Louisville), remember last weekend.

And, most importantly, when bowl season comes around and last weekend's aftermath has blown away like a tumbleweed across the plains, remember this weekend.

Big 12 fans, welcome to a down year.

Posted by Corrie Trouw at 10:03 PM | Comments (0)

September 21, 2006

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 3

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Carolina @ Tampa Bay

Leading 13-6, Carolina punt returner Chris Gamble, following the orders of his coaching staff, attempted a lateral that came up short and was recovered by the Vikings. Minnesota tied the game and eventually won in overtime, 16-13.

"Contrary to what that loudmouth FOX color analyst Bill Maas says," says Panthers coach John Fox, "Chris didn't attempt that lateral of his own volition. That was my decision, and my decision only. And if I had it to do over again, I would do nothing different, except not make that decision. But in my defense, if I told Chris to go jump off a bridge, should he do it?"

In Tampa, the John Gruden sneer is in full effect. The Bucs can't run, they can't pass, and their division title of last year seems distant. Like the Panthers, Tampa is 0-2, and the loser of this game falls into an early, deep hole in the NFC South.

"Ahoy, matey. That's the worst case scenario," says Gruden. "Sure, we'd love to win, but we'll take a tie. At least that will get us a point in the NHL's Atlantic Division. But we know the Hurricanes, I mean Panthers, are just as hungry as we are. And, they'll likely have Steve Smith back, who, apparently, is their only offense. We, like the Panthers, are waiting on our best player to play his first game. What's that? Cadillac Williams played in our first two games? I didn't notice."

Smith returns, but in his excitement to finally get on the field, he aggravates his double-hammy when he does a disco split during introductions. The Carolina defense controls this one, and the Panthers don't try any tricks (although now would be a great time for one). Carolina wins, 16-10. Afterwards, members of both teams attend a party at a Tampa bar hosted by two Panthers cheerleaders.

Chicago @ Minnesota

The Bears 34-7 demolition of Detroit last week left the Lions 0-2, and left Detroit wide receiver Roy Wiliams' record in guarantees to 0-1. Quarterback Rex Grossman had his finest day as a Bear, throwing for 289 yards and 4 touchdowns, and currently is the league's highest-rated passer.

"I am? Then I've got nowhere to go but down. I tell you, playing against our defense in practice prepares you for anything," says Grossman. "Playing against our defense in a non-contact practice prepares you for playing the Lions' defense."

The 2-0 Bears will travel to the Metrodome to face the 2-0 Vikings for early control of the NFC North. The Vikes remained undefeated with an overtime win over the Panthers, tying the game on kicker Ryan Longwell's fake-field goal touchdown pass to Richard Owens. Longwell then won the game with a 19-yarder in OT.

"That's called following the gameplan to a 'T,'" says Minnesota head coach Brad Childress, still trying to correctly pronounce the name of Vikings' owner Zigi Wilf. "You know, Ryan's the first player to throw for the tying score and make the winning kick since George Blanda did it for the Raiders. And I think he was a grandfather at the time."

Are the resurgent Vikings ready to compete for the North crown? The outcome will give us the answer. Childress has promised the Vikes that should they win, the S. S. Porn Identity sets sail immediately. However, the Bears seem to have an offense to complement their defense. Grossman throws for a TD on the Bears first drive, and from their, it's a battle of field goals.

Bears win, 19-9.

Cincinnati @ Pittsburgh

The Bengals' 34-17 win over the Browns was costly — injured during the game were center Rich Braham, safety Dexter Jackson, and linebacker David Pollack. Even Chad Johnson was bloodied and a little woozy after taking a big hit from the Browns' Brian Russell.

"Physicals on three," says Bengals head man Marvin Lewis. "One, two, three, physicals."

"Hey, that's my line!" says Bill Cowher.

"No, Bill," replies Lewis. "You say 'physical.' I say 'physicals.' Meaning, our guys need to see the doctor. Also, I say it without sending spit flying into space."

Suffice it to say this game won't end in a 9-0 score, as did the Steelers' last game, a loss at the hands of the Jaguars. The Bengals are certainly banged up, and even their quarterback, Carson Palmer, has scraps from a cadaver holding his knee together.

"And I've got a few spare parts in my fridge," says Palmer, "seasoned to perfection. If my knee holds up, we're having a cookout later this year."

Palmer's knee holds up, but the Bengals' seven point first half lead doesn't. The banged up Bengals defense can't stop Willie Parker in the second half.

Steelers win, 27-22.

Green Bay @ Detroit

The Packers fell to 0-2 with a 34-27 loss to the Saints, but showed some promise after last week's 26-0 shutout at the hands of the Bears.

"Yeah, we scored," says Brett Favre, ripping into the plastic wrap covering a toy "Gunslinger" badge, the surprise found in a box of Lucky Charms he religiously enjoys every morning. "Man, I love my Lucky Charms. You've got pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clover, red balloons, and blue Vocodins. Anyway, we went from 'shutout' to 'shootout' in the span of a week. You all need to get used to the phrase 'in a losing effort' when you're talking about the Packers."

Detroit wide receiver Roy Williams guaranteed a win last week when the Lions faced the Bears. As you know, he was wrong, but that hasn't stopped him from guaranteeing a win this week.

"Look, every year, the NFL has some clown playing wide receiver who makes guarantees," says Williams. "This year, I'm that clown. It was a lot easier in college at Texas making these guarantees. You don't have to be too bold to guarantee wins over the likes of Rice, West Texas State, and Prairie View A & M. And you don't have to be bold to guarantee a win over the Bears — just stupid. But a win over the Packers? Bet the house."

Williams has a TD reception, and the Lions defense forces three Brett Favre turnovers. Detroit wins, 28-13. Afterwards, Williams guarantees the Lions will win the Super Bowl, the Tigers will win the World Series, the Pistons will win the NBA championship, and the Red Wings will win the Stanley Cup. He also guarantees that he will not watch any games involving the WNBA's Detroit Shock.

Jacksonville @ Indianapolis

The Jaguars shut out the Steelers 9-0 on Monday night, holding the defending Super Bowl champions to nine first downs and 153 total yards. Fred Taylor ground out 92 yards rushing, the defense forced two turnovers, and Josh Scobee kicked three field goals.

"That's Jaguar football right there," says Jack Del Rio, still pumping his fist. "Hard-hitting, intense, take-no-prisoners, much like Joey Porter's trash talking. Anyway, it was a great win for us heading into Indy. We like the way we're playing, and I feel confident that our guys up front, John 'Hindu' Henderson, Paul 'Scary' Spicer, and Marcus Stroud (of Turin) can control the line of scrimmage."

"If they want the line of scrimmage," says Manning, updating the lineup for his service industry fantasy team, "they can have it. I'll even autograph it for them. Heck, I'll even throw in a year's worth of premium programing on DirectTV. Maybe Jack Del Rio's not aware of this, but the line of scrimmage moves, especially when I'm throwing. I watched the game Monday night. Yes, the Jags looked awesome on defense, but Ben Roethlisberger had plenty of time to throw. But he hits receivers like he drives a motorcycle. Give me 1.8 seconds, and I'll find an open receiver."

The Colts swept the Jags last year, and won a tough 10-3 decision in Indy last year. The Jags won't allow the Colts to establish the run, and if they can't get pressure on Manning with just their front four, it could spell trouble for Jack Del Rio and company. Don't forget, Jacksonville is coming off an emotional win at home, and a short week. Historically, the Jags are 0-7-1 coming off emotional wins and short weeks. Nah, I just made that up. Anyway, Manning throws two touchdowns, and the Indy defense holds late.

Colts win, 20-14.

N.Y. Jets @ Buffalo

For the second straight week, Chad Pennington threw for over 300 yards, this time in a losing effort to the Patriots. In two games, Pennington has thrown 70 passes, which can mean only two things: the Jets aren't running the ball to head coach Eric Mangini's liking, and Pennington's arm is in a sling.

"That's 'The Great and Mysterious Mangini' to you," says Mangini, a cross between the sourpuss demeanor of Tom Coughlin with the girth of Bill Parcells. "Did you see the handshake between Bill Belichick and myself at the end of the game? Cold, very cold. I guess you'd call it a respectful hatred. It's not like the guy had anything to do with me getting a head coaching job."

The Bills got by the Dolphins in Miami with defense, a time-consuming rushing attack, and an efficient, yet unspectacular performance at quarterback by J.P. Losman.

"Efficient, yet unspectacular?" says Bills coach Dick Jauron. "That would be J.P. He was only 11-of-18 for 83 yards, but one of those passes was a four-yard TD pass. Good enough to lead us to a 16-6 win over the Dolphins, but not good enough to get us anywhere near the Super Bowl. Losman is about as believable as a big-time quarterback as Ashton Kucher is as a Navy Seal."

Let's see, Buffalo can run, but not pass. The Jets can pass, but not run. In a low-scoring game, the defense gives the Bills the edge. Willis McGahee rushes for his first score of the year, and the Bills win, 19-16. O.J. Simpson roams the Buffalo sidelines looking for the "real killers," while Joe Namath prowls the New York side, looking for a date. Both leave empty-handed.

Tennessee @ Miami

Just a few weeks ago, Kerry Collins was on his farm in North Carolina when he got a phone call asking him to work out for the Titans. A few days later, he was signed and was soon named the Titans' starter. After Sunday's performance in San Diego, Collins' tenure as Tennessee's starting quarterback may have bought the farm.

"Apparently, Kerry seems more comfortable on a tractor than in the pocket," says Titans head coach Jeff Fisher. "His passer rating for the game was 1.3. That's right. One point three. You heard me right. Anyway, we've got our eyes on another farmer turned quarterback named John Deere. He's a little green, but we think he can fit right in."

Just to reiterate, Collins' rating was 1.3. That won't get you on the box of EA Sports Madden '07 video game. But it doesn't take much more. Miami's Daunte Culpepper stars in a Madden '07 commercial, but that must have been well before his first two games as a Dolphin, in which he has thrown 3 interceptions, suffered 10 sacks, and thrown only 1 touchdown pass.

"EA Sports. It's in the game," explains Culpepper. "And that's more than I can say about myself in the first two weeks. When I played that bad in Minnesota, Chris Carter slapped me around, and Randy Moss would keep saying 'Come on, dawg' until I snapped out of it. It's time I stepped up, or get slapped."

Collins will start on Sunday, which has to be the first time a quarterback posting a 1.3 rating has started his next game. If it gets any worse (can it?), then Vince Young will have to take over, since the Titans just traded third-stringer Billy Volek to the Chargers. I guess it's no surprise the Titans are 10½-point underdogs to an 0-2 team (by the way, 10½ is also the over/under on points scored this weekend by the United States Ryder Cup team).

Culpepper gets on track and throws two touchdown passes, and the Miami defense plows their way to five sacks.

Miami wins, 24-7.

Washington @ Houston

After Sunday night's 27-10 loss in Dallas, the 0-2 Redskins are faced with a must-win situation, needing a victory over the Texans to avoid an 0-3 hole.

"It's a good thing we're paying the Texans," says Washington running back Cinton Portis, wearing a mesh Waffle House cap, lipstick, and a Groucho Marx disguise, while calling himself 'Special K From Down the Way.' Who better to help us to our first win than the Oilers, or Texans, that is? It's not like we won't be returning the favor. We pin a loss on them, and they're one step closer to next year's number one pick. I would advise taking a running back."

Houston suffered its yearly beating in Indianapolis, this time with new head coach Gary Kubiak at the helm.

"I came over from Denver," says Kubiak, "so it's no surprise to me that I'm getting my tail kicked by the Colts. And speaking of Houston, and surprises, how about the breakup of Whitney Houston and Bobbie Brown? Of course, I'm not at all surprised by the breakup. I am, however, surprised that they both survived that marriage. I'm also surprised that the world's supply of crack survived that marriage."

Portis suits up for the Redskins, which is good news for Washington, because that means less passing for Mark Brunell. And that's less headache for Joe Gibbs. Portis rushes for a touchdown, and Sean Taylor returns an interception for a touchdown.

'Skins win, 24-13.

Baltimore @ Cleveland

The Ravens pulled off the unexpected last week: they gave up points to the Raiders. Six to be exact, on two Sebastian Janikowski field goals, the last of which a 51-yarder in the fourth quarter with the Raiders down 21-3.

"I understand what Art Shell was thinking," says Baltimore's Brian Billick. "Kick the field goal in that situation, and it's a 21-6 game. It's a 15-point game, which for the Raiders is a five-score deficit. A few onside kicks and four more field goals, and you're right back in it. Luckily, the Raiders have a bye week to sort out their problems, although a bye month would come in more handy."

Cleveland is 0-2, but coach Romeo Crenel is encouraged by the teams' effort.

"The effort is there," says Crenel, "but we just happen to be in what looks like the NFL's toughest division, the AFC North, in which three teams, Baltimore, Cincinnati, and Pittsburgh, are legitimate playoff contenders. We're neither legitimate nor contenders, and it doesn't help matters when Kellen Winslow opens his yap about how this team should be run. You're not at 'The U' anymore, Kellen. Look at me. Do I look like Larry Choker, or Coker, or whatever the coach's name is? Maybe after you've played more than four games in one season, you can talk to me. But for now, shut up, and try to be like your daddy — all production, no mouth."

Crenel's Browns put up a fight, but Baltimore's defense does what it does best — creating short fields that the Ravens offense can manage. Steve McNair throws for a short TD, and Matt Stover kicks three field goals.

Baltimore wins, 16-9.

N.Y. Giants @ Seattle

The Giants fought back from a 24-7 fourth quarter deficit to the Eagles, scoring 17 unanswered points and eventually winning in overtime on Eli Manning's 31-yard touchdown pass to Plaxico Burress. On the day, Manning passed for 371 yards and 3 touchdowns, statistics topped only by big brother Peyton's 400-yard, 3 touchdown performance in a win over the Texans.

"That's the story of my life," says Eli. "I'll never be the most famous Manning. Heck, I won't even be the most famous Eli. The inventor of the cotton gin, Eli Whitney, still gets more hits in Wikipedia than I do. It's cotton-picking not fair. Shoot, I can't even get in an ESPN commercial unless Peyton's in it. Dad gummit! His comic timing is impeccable."

Seattle's Matt Hasselbeck is not as commercial-savvy as Peyton Manning, but, if the price is right, he'll gladly hawk a product that combats male-pattern baldness. And he'll gladly visit your child's school, provided your child wins the NFL's "Take a Player to School" contest, and offers a limousine ride to-and-from the airport.

"That's the kind of guy I am," Hasselbeck replies.

If Hasselbeck watched the Gaints/Eagles game, he surely noticed that Donovan McNabb was able to pass at will against the Giants defense. And that's without Terrell Owens. Hasselbeck will have his new weapon Deion Branch at his disposal, and his trusty sidekick Shaun Alexander, as well. Seattle has too much offense, and a defense that will get to Eli Manning. Alexander scores 2 TDs, and Seattle wins, 23-14.

Philadelphia @ San Francisco

The Eagles blew a 24-7 fourth quarter lead to the Giants, then, in overtime, gave up a 31-yard touchdown pass from Eli Manning to Plaxico Burress. The Eagles lost despite sacking Manning eight times, and were constantly victimized by big plays. After going 0-6 in the division last year, the Eagles are now 0-1 against the East in 2006.

"Sure it was a devastating loss," says Donovan McNabb, signing a 'Get Well Soon, You Bitch' Hallmark card that will soon be in the mail to Terrell Owens, "but one we can overcome. This is the NFC East, by god. We could lose every division game and still win the East."

In San Francisco, quarterback Alex Smith is looking more and more like 49er great Joe Montana. At least, in the pictures in his locker in which he's pasted his head on Montana's body. But seriously, he does seem to be grasping Norv Turner's offense, and has a big target in Antonio Bryant.

"Last year, I was trying to live up to the likes of Montana and Steve Young," says Smith. "This year, I've set more attainable goals for myself, like living up to the likes of Jeff Garcia, Steve Spurrier, and Jim Plunkett."

The Eagles take an early lead, and don't blow it. McNabb throws for 2 touchdowns, and the Eagles win, 26-17. Afterwards, members of both teams join hands and celebrate the burial of an Owen's jersey at midfield.

St. Louis @ Arizona

It's an NFC West battle between 1-1 teams, with the winner getting the inside track to finishing four games back of the Seahawks at season's end. The Cards and Rams both dropped road games last week to division opponents Seattle and San Francisco, respectively.

"The NFC West gets no respect," says Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner. "But if you people would do you research, and maybe read the Bible occasionally, you'll see that the NFC West is the only division in the NFL in which all four teams have wins. Repent!"

"Hey, don't knock Kurt for his convictions," says Arizona backup QB Matt Leinart. "Each of us prepares differently for games. Kurt reads scripture, and I cover myself from head to toe with Axe Body Spray and down a can or two of Red Bull to combat the effects of the previous night's hangover. Then I try to remember who I hooked up with."

To each his own.

Rams' quarterback Marc Bulger has struggled this year, with only one touchdown pass so far. His struggles continue on Sunday, at the expense of go-to guy Torry Holt, who is planted on a crossing pattern by the Burger King, who then, in a touching display of sportsmanship, presents Holt with a charbroiled Double Whopper. The highlight is later replayed on NBC's Sunday Night Football, when Chris Collinsworth presents the 'McDonalds Quarter Pounder Breakdown', causing an awkward conflict of interest.

Warner has a big day against his former team, tossing three touchdowns, and the Cardinals win, 30-23.

Denver @ New England

Well, it looks like the Patriots are the class of the AFC East, again. With wins already over division foes the Bills and Jets, and with Miami sucking a large one, New England is on its way to another division crown. On Sunday night, the Patriots welcome the Broncos, with intentions of avenging last year's loss in the divisional playoffs.

"Someone once said, 'Revenge is a dish best served cold,'" says Tom Brady. "Maybe it was Edgar Allen Poe, or Bela Lugosi, or Eric Cartman. I don't know. But those words apply to my feelings about the Broncos. We will avenge last year's defeat in the playoffs at the hands of the Broncos. We hear all the talk about the Bell's, Denver's two-headed rushing attack, Mike and Tatum. But we have one of our own, Dillon and Maroney, Corey and Laurence. I know 'Corey and Laurence' sounds like two guys attending a snooty prep school for privileged honkies in upstate New York, but our guys our tougher than shoe leather and meaner than rattlesnakes."

Denver certainly doesn't look like the team that played in last year's AFC championship, and Jake Plummer definitely doesn't look like the quarterback that took them there. Well, he still looks like him, goofy and all, but he hasn't played like him. Plummer is 30th in the NFL in passer rating, at 39.2.

"I know I've played like dirt," says Plummer, "and it certainly is ironic that my pet terrier, which I named 'Jay Cutler,' seems to be nipping at my heels a lot lately. But I've dealt with my bad play by getting in my truck and terrorizing drivers on Denver highways. But, thanks to San Diego's Steve Foley, I'm no longer the AFC West's most dangerous driver. And thanks to Aaron Brooks, I'm not the West's worst quarterback."

You've got to believe that Plummer will improve his play against the Patriots. Otherwise, kicker Jason Elam will remain Denver's leading scorer. But the Patriots won't allow Plummer out of his slump on their watch. New England will take away the run and force Plummer to make the throws he has been unable to make so far. If this game took place in December in the snow, it would be a classic. But in September, there will be no snow angels, but the Patriots roll, 26-18.

Atlanta @ New Orleans

Jiminy crawdads! This game is for first-place in the NFC South! And it's on Monday night in prime time! And it's in the Superdome!

"And it's got working toilets," beams rookie Reggie Bush, announcing a scholarship fund that will help bring underprivileged kids to USC, a program he calls 'Trojan Ins.' "And it's a home game for the Saints. When's the last time they had one of those?"

The Saints may be the most surprising 2-0 team in football, but the Falcons' ability to rush the ball may be even more surprising. The lead the NFL in rushing with 558 yards.

"Wow! That is simply amazing! Spectacular! Breathtaking!" exclaims Michael Vick.

Yes, Michael, the Atlanta rushing attack is on pace to gain over 4,000 yards on the ground. You're right. It's unbelievable.

"No, I'm talking about the awesome pictures of Tiger Woods' wife in this sleazy Irish tabloid that was delivered directly to my post office box under the name Ronald O'Mexico."

Vick's backfield mate, Warrick Dunn, is the NFL's individual rushing leader, with 266 yards. After last Sunday's 134-yard performance against the Bucs, Dunn was named Michael Irvin's No. 1 playmaker on the Monday Night Football pregame show.

"That's great to hear," says a humbled Dunn. "To be named the No. 1 playmaker by the 'Playmaker' himself is quite an honor. Now, if I could just dress like the him. Hey, 'Playmaker,' where'd you get that jacket? It looked like a tablecloth from my grandmother's kitchen. Let me guess. You got it at 'Step 'N Style,' America's No. 1 upscale ghetto outfitter."

It will be an emotional return to the Superdome for the Saints, but the Falcons are clearly the better team right now. Sure, both teams are 2-0, but Atlanta has defeated two playoff teams from last year, while the Saints have beaten the Browns and Packers. New Orleans stays tough, but Vick and Dunn both score TDs, and the 46-year-old Morten Andersen kicks it old-school.

Atlanta wins, 23-16.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 9:15 PM | Comments (3)

Why College Football Stands Above Rest

It had been building all week. Seven matchups within the top 25 of college football. If you were a sports fan, you couldn't go anywhere with out one of the numerous sports outlets previewing the upcoming smorgasbord of games. It was dubbed "Separation Saturday."

So when September 16 came around, you better believe that I was hyped up for the occasion. It was one of the rare times that I actually felt the build-up and entrusted that it would deliver. It did come through, but not in the way I imagined it to, or predicted that it would. I had an epiphany while watching college football put on a display of great games throughout the day. College football is far and away the most exciting sport to watch.

Now before you get up and arms and cite March Madness, or the Super Bowl, or the World Series, or the World Series of Poker, let me explain my point.

This wasn't a postseason matchup. It wasn't a special event that only comes around once a year. These were just regular season matchups. The thing that made it great is the thing that separates college athletics from every other genre. The passion.

All professional sports have passion, but not in the way that makes college sports and specifically college football head and shoulder above the rest. Every player in the NFL wants to win, they want to get to the Super Bowl and get a ring. Time and again we see players yearn for that jewelry, analysts rate a player's career on their bling. As Herm Edwards once said, "you play to win the game."

For many athletes who are on teams who are incapable of winning a sufficient amount of games right now, they begin to look elsewhere. There is no such thing as rebuilding, because the star athletes on those teams don't want to be around for that. The superstars of this generation want it easy. They use free agency to go to the top teams, and get the top dollars, or in some cases, pull a Clyde Drexler or Ray Borque — turn in their loyalty for the almighty bling.

We've seen it in every sport. Every year the Yankees go out and get the top players because they can put up the most money. We see players like Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine who were cornerstones in the Atlanta Braves dynasty let go for younger and more promising talent. Professional fans can't cheer for players, they can only cheer for teams, because one day you're celebrating "The Idiots" and the first World Series title in 86 years, the next, you notice only five players from that team still call Boston your home.

The rivalries of professional sports are over. Green Bay against Chicago last week warranted FOX's "No. 4" announcing team. We are talking about one of the most hallowed rivalries in professional sports, and not only was it not front-page news, the Bears wiped the floor with the Packers.

In the NBA, there is no Boston/L.A series, no New York/Chicago battles. It's gotten to the point that three years after the break-up of the Lakers, ABC and the NBA are still trying to build up a Kobe/Shaq throw-down on Christmas Day.

It's the same everywhere you look in professional sports — money is the root of all evil, and it has ruined the professional sports atmosphere.

That's what makes college athletics so great. You don't get your heart ripped out of you when your favorite team's star player gets lured over to a bigger school for bigger dollars. People play for tradition, they play for rivalries, they play for their respective colleges.

In this day and age, there are only two sports in college that generate the type of sponsorship and income to be discussed as rivaling professional sports. Basketball and football.

Football stands out for two reasons that mesh cohesively together. Every game counts and you can't control your own fate. This breeds an atmosphere where after every big play, everyone on the sideline is jumping up and down — the coaches, players, fans, it's mayhem — for a five-yard out.

In basketball, there are too many games. A team can lose one to seven games and be considered a contender. If you're hot going into the tournament, watch out because five months of games won't mean didly-squat if you put it all together, or blow it all in those three weeks of madness. For me, March is the best time of the year, the tournament is the best thing to happen to sports since sliced bread. However, that's the only time that matters — college coaches like Lute Olson use the regular season as a tune-up for the tourney, because no matter how many games you lose, if your strength of schedule is tough enough, you'll get a chance as long as you have a winning record.

In college football, one loss, and you're chances of winning the national title have just gone from great to non-existent. In addition to that, the majority of the colleges in the nation don't even have a chance to win a national title, but the fanfare is still the same at 25,000-seat stadiums like Alcorn State and University of Michigan's "Big House" that seats over 107,000 people.

In one of the early games, 18th-ranked Oregon hosting number 13 Oklahoma, the Ducks were down 33-20 with less the 90 seconds left in the game. Oregon scored on the next down, attempted an onside kick—succeeded, drove down the field, scored to take the lead 34-33; kicked off to Oklahoma, who in turn drove down the field with less than 20 seconds left to get into field goal range, only to have their attempt blocked. The Quack attack flooded the field, players, coaches and fans alike. Anyone who has been in college and has gone to a football game or two has a story like this. It's college football at its best, and the reason why its passion and atmosphere is second to none.

As Oregon ran off the field in jubilation, the Sooners, shocked at what happened, stood there stunned. At one end of the spectrum, jubilation, on the other utter despair. In September — only in college football.

Separation Saturday was more than a cute nickname for a jubilee of games with national championship implications, it embodied everything that is good in college football. Whether it was the Oregon-Oklahoma controversy, to the Michigan statement, Separation Saturday not only divided the contenders from the pretenders, as SC's Wailele Sallas reports, it also separated college football from all other athletic competitions.

Posted by Wailele Sallas at 7:59 PM | Comments (1)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 27

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kevin Harvick — Harvick got the jump on the rest of the Chase field in a hurry, winning the poll for the Sylvania 300 then dominating on race day, leading 196 of 300 laps on the way to his fourth win of the year. He takes over first in the points, leading Denny Hamlin by 35.

"What better way to start the Chase than with a win," says Harvick, "although the supposed cheating accusations proposed by that Speed Channel reporter are totally ludicrous. I don't know who that reporter is, but he just moved to the top of my enemy list, right past Michael Waltrip."

2. Jeff Gordon — Gordon's return to the Chase was successful, as he finished third in New Hampshire and jumped five place in the points to fourth, where he is 50 behind Harvick. Gordon and teammate Brian Vickers ran well, while teammates Jimmie Johnson and Kyle Busch faltered at the worst time.

"If you can't run with the big dogs, stay off the porch," says Gordon. "At least, that's what the t-shirt says. As far as my teammates are concerned, there's still hope in the Chase. From that far behind, it truly is a 'Chase' for them."

3. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth struggled with handling and braking issues Sunday in Loudon, but still managed a workmanlike tenth to slavage a day that was clearly Kevin Harvick's. Kenseth fell out of the points lead, but is only 41 behind Harvick.

"I may have lost the points lead," says Kenseth, "but I gained a Guinness World Record by nailing Kelly Ripa with 17 pies in one minute to the face on Live With Regis and Kelly. Don't ask me why NASCAR drivers were on the show to throw pies at the hostess. Is that supposed to make more people watch NASCAR, or fewer people watch Live With Regis and Kelly?"

4. Denny Hamlin — Hamlin shows no signs of letting the pressure of the Chase get to him. He ran strong in Loudon, finishing fourth to advance two spots in the points. He's now in second, trailing Harvick by 35 points.

"Speaking of pie to the face," says Hamlin, "I just got one from Kevin Harvick. For what, I don't know. But after that move he made in the race that almost wrecked me, he'll get his pie for dessert right after I feed him the main course, a knuckle sandwich."

5. Jeff Burton — Burton stayed close in the hunt for the Cup, finishing seventh in Loudon to give Richard Childress Racing two cars in the top 10. Burton moved up three spots to fifth in the points, and trails teammate Kevin Harvick by 64 points.

"I guess it's every man for himself right now," says Burton. "Even my teammate almost wrecked me trying to squeeze into a space way too small. You know, like Jimmy Spencer trying to get into a driver's suit."

6. Mark Martin — Martin finished 11th in Loudon, and moved up a spot in the points to sixth, where he is 75 points out of first.

"Let me say it for you," Martin comments. "It was a 'solid' performance. I had a 'solid' drive. What are the chances that I'll announce my retirement, then change my mind? Solid."

7. Kasey Kahne — Kahne battled a loose race car all day, falling two laps down at one point, and overcame a blocked pit stall late in the race to squeeze a 16th-place finish out of his day in New Hampshire.

"I squeezed hard," says Kahne. "I've been doing a lot of squeezing lately. I barely squeezed into the Chase. And it looks like I'll have to do a lot more squeezing. I'm 110 points out of first, and only 36 ahead of Kyle Busch in 10th. Nobody's giving him a chance in the Chase, so what does that say about my chances?"

8. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson's luck went from bad to worse on Sunday. He started seventh, but a tight-handling car and a possible dropped cylinder left him in the back of the pack. Then, on lap 89, he was spun into the wall in a wreck involving Greg Biffle and Sterling Marlin. A trip to the garage ensued, and he returned to finish the race in 39th, 77 laps down.

"Tony Stewart may have a monkey named ‘Mojo,'" says Johnson, "but I've got an even bigger monkey. He doesn't have a name, lives on my back, and has something to do with me not having won a Cup championship."

9. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. — Earnhardt finished 13th in Loudon, which was exactly where he started. For his effort, he dropped one spot in the points to seventh, and is 81 points out of first.

"We got a little tight at the end," says Earnhardt, "and all we could do was watch the others go by. It's a helpless feeling knowing that Dave Blaney has outdone us in two straight races."

10. Kyle Busch — Busch, the winner at Loudon in July, was out of contention early. A wreck on lap three with Jeff Green was followed by a mix-up with Clint Bowyer on lap 202. Busch finished in 38th, and now is in last in the points, 146 from the top.

"Here's my idea for an exiting race in Dover," says Busch. "I'd like for the other 33 drivers not in the Chase to take out the top nine in the points, preferably causing irreparable damage. But make it all look accidental. I'd greatly appreciate it."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 7:51 PM | Comments (0)

September 20, 2006

College Football Predictions: Week 4

Last week was certainly nice, but the profits will quickly disappear if I bungle this week's plays. No need to waste time, let's get to it.

YTD Record

1* = 2-2
2* = 3-1
3* = 3-1

As a reminder, the ranking system is as follows:

1* = Gun to my head, I'd play the team listed (risky)
2* = A good chance of covering; a worthy play (fairly confident)
3* = I would be play for a large chunk of money (very confident)

Wisconsin +14 @ Michigan, 12:00 PM, ESPN

It's amazing how frequently I'll back a team one week only to go against them the following week. The cat is certainly out of the bag with Michigan after they humiliated Notre Dame last week, as predicted in this column. It always cracks me up how quickly teams can go from overrated and terrible one day to one of the teams to beat the next in the eyes of the average sports fan.

The Badgers enter this contest 3-0, but they certainly haven't dazzled anyone in their victories over Bowling Green, WIU, and San Diego State. Their offense will need to operate more efficiently this week if they hope to play Michigan tough.

Expect to see lots of people touting Michigan to win this one big. They are probably going to be the new “it” team for the next few weeks. I certainly don't love Wisconsin, but 14 points is pretty generous considering Lloyd Carr is the coach of the favored Wolverines.

The play: Wisconsin 1*

Iowa St +24 @ Texas, 3:30 PM, ABC

It may sound funny, but this could very well be a preview of the Big 12 title game in December. The Cyclones played Iowa very tough last week at Iowa, while Texas rebounded from its defeat to Ohio State by drubbing Rice.

At first glance, this number looked a little bit too high, but it's probably about right as Iowa State hasn't shown any level of consistency in their first three games, and Texas remains very highly regarded by most. Texas definitely has more speed, talent, and depth than ISU, but I expect Iowa State to play them tough nonetheless. ISU should cover here, and I wouldn't be surprised if this one is still close in the fourth quarter.

The play: Iowa State 2*

Penn State +17 @ Ohio State, 3:30 PM, ABC

Both teams had proverbial byes this past week, defeating Youngstown State and Cincinnati, respectively. Ohio State will have revenge on its mind this week, as it was Penn State who handed them their first loss in 2005. A win here would get Penn State's Big 10 title defense off on the proper foot.

Ohio State may very well go undefeated and win the national championship this season, but they aren't going to finish 13-0 ATS. They have covered in their first three, and these things tend to even out over time.

Do I think Penn State comes into Columbus and knocks off No. 1? Not really, but I do believe Penn State has enough athletes on each side of the ball to keep things respectable. Look for a meaningless, late touchdown from Penn State for the cover.

The play: Penn State 1*

Boston College @ NC State +7, 7:00 PM, ESPN

Boston College comes into Raleigh unbeaten after a trio of down to the wire victories. Meanwhile, the hometown Wolfpack are coming off a pair of disappointing losses to mid-major programs, Southern Miss and Akron.

Anytime you back a Chuck Amato-coached team with your money, you better prepare yourself to endure an avalanche of ridiculous penalties. It can be very, very painful to watch. In fact, it is tough to imagine anyone wanting to bet on North Carolina State in this spot. Boston College looks like easy money, but I think their seemingly endless supply of luck begins to dwindle on Saturday night.

The play: NC State 3*

USC @ Arizona +21, 8:00 PM, ABC

Arizona has looked average in their two victories over mediocre schools and horrific in their loss at LSU. If you can find any reason to believe they can keep this one within three touchdowns, please let me know.

On the other side of the field, USC has played twice, dominated twice, and covered twice. Nebraska and Arkansas weren't a match for the Trojans at slightly smaller spreads, so is there any reason to believe that Arizona can compete let alone cover in this game?

Probably not, but Las Vegas wasn't built on bad numbers, so I will be giving Arizona a look here.

The play: Arizona 2*

Notre Dame @ Michigan State +4, 8:00 PM, ABC

I love games like this. Nobody who watched Notre Dame play on Saturday should in their right mind be willing to lay four points on the road with the Irish right now. Especially when you consider the fact that Notre Dame is facing a very similar Michigan State team to the one that beat them in South Bend last year.

Sadly, the majority of sports bettors don't think in rationale terms. They will justify their Notre Dame wagers this week with rationales ranging from “they'll bounce back” to “last week was a fluke” to “no way Charlie Weis loses two in a row.” It is no accident that most people lose the majority of their bankrolls by the end of the season.

The play: Michigan State 3*

Please keep in mind that I am evaluating the most popular games for the purposes of this article. These games are not necessarily the best options available. You can more picks, results, and opinions on sports wagering at Ryan Hojnacki's website. This article is for entertainment purposes only. Sports wagering is not legal is most jurisdictions in the U.S. Sports Central does not encourage any individual to partake in illegal activities and holds no responsibility for actions taken as a result of this article. Check with your local laws before engaging in any wagering activities.

Posted by Ryan Hojnacki at 10:36 PM | Comments (0)

NFL Week 3 Bye Report

Two weeks in, and it's shaping up as a great football season. In the NFL, we've had everything we could have possibly wanted. We have new powerhouses (San Diego, Baltimore), a few absolute train wrecks (Oakland, the Kerry Collins Era, my "Chris Simms for the Pro Bowl" campaign), and the dawning of a new legend in Reggie Bush, perhaps the greatest impact of any two-game start to a career of anybody ever. (I did absolutely no research to back this claim, but did you see that move on the sideline against Green Bay? I don't care if he got paid in college. He deserved every penny.)

It's been an awesome two weeks, and amazingly, four teams are already in their bye weeks: Dallas, Kansas City, Oakland, and San Diego. From this week through Week 9, I'll break down the teams who don't play on Sunday (because, really, it sucks to have your team not play, especially in Week 3).

Dallas Cowboys

(1-1, in a three-way tie for first in the NFC East)

Overview — Everybody got on poor Drew Bledsoe after they got beat up in Jacksonville, but we saw on Monday that the Jaguar defense is going to make a lot of QBs look bad along the way. The running game is still solid with Marion Barber (The Third) spelling Julius Jones, and the receiver/tight end group of Terrell Owens, Terry Glenn, Patrick Crayton, Jason Witten, and Anthony Fasano is above average. The Redskins' defense only registered one sack, and Bledsoe didn't throw any picks under pressure (which he would have), so the offensive line seems to have recovered from their misery in Week 1.

(One side note: Is there any person more suited to the whole grown-man-dying-his-hair-blonde-to-be-cool-but-just-looks-like-a-douchebag-instead look than Mike Vanderjagt? I bet you even his mom hates him.)

Impact of the Bye Week — With Owens' broken finger, the bye goes from bad timing to great timing. Don't think that just because Glenn is making the catches, Owens is a non-factor. His ability to draw defensive attention will open up every other aspect of the offense. They can still win without him (like at Tennessee in Week 4), but they can't dominate. One fewer game without him is a definite advantage.

Outlook — I'm still not sold on these guys as a real contender. Special teams haven't been a strength (29.3 yards allowed on kick-off returns), and the penalties (NFL-worst 158 yards assessed) aren't exactly the sign of an intelligent/disciplined team. They've got talent, but I just can't see them climbing over Philly or New York in the division.

Kansas City Chiefs

(0-2, tied for last in the AFC West)

Overview — Last drive of the first half against Denver, the Chiefs get the ball on their own 34 with more than three minutes on the clock, two timeouts. Eight plays get them to the Denver 11 with a first down and nine seconds left. There's time for one more shot at your all-world TE or stud RB. Herm Edwards sends out the FG team. No balls. Hopefully for Chiefs fans, "Herm the Worm" slimes his way out of his KC contract like he did in New York.

Impact of the Bye Week — Couldn't be better. One, it means one fewer week with Damon Huard as their starting QB. I'm not as down on Huard as some others, but Trent Green leads this team. Two, with San Francisco coming to Arrowhead in Week 4, the Chiefs have a chance to catch their breath, regroup and try to get some positive mojo going.

Outlook — They better get off the schneid against the 49ers, because this is what they have coming up next: at Arizona, at Pittsburgh, San Diego, Seattle, at St. Louis, at Miami. Then, after a three-week semi-break (Oakland, Denver, at Cleveland), they finish with Baltimore, at San Diego, at Oakland, Jacksonville. Right now, five wins is the best-case scenario.

Oakland Raiders

(0-2, tied for last in the AFC West)

Overview — Just horrible. This Jerry Porter thing is absolutely killing that locker room. They need to end this now.

Impact of the Bye Week — Like Kansas City, this week off couldn't come at a better time. The Raiders have been an easy rip for writers around the nation (me included), and for good reason. They are the worst team in the NFL in quarterback rating (30.9), sacks allowed (15), turnover margin (-6), third-down conversion rate (16.7%), and average kick-return yardage allowed (36.6). With a week off to prepare for a home test against Cleveland, maybe Oakland has a chance to get some positive momentum. Probably not.

Outlook — They're going to crash and burn, with the best-case scenario that they blow up the team in the offseason, have a good draft, and build for sleeper status in 2008.

San Diego Chargers

(2-0, first in AFC West)

Overview — Remember when there was a huge debate over whether Larry Johnson, Shaun Alexander, or LaDainian Tomlinson should be the first pick in your fantasy draft? The Chargers have outscored their opponents by 60 in just two games (67-7), the largest margin in the league. Philip Rivers is just fine, protected by a great defense and powerful running game. With Green out for KC, Denver on the verge of a full-blown QB controversy, and Oakland reduced to liquid poop, San Diego is sitting as well as anybody in the NFL right now.

Impact of the Bye Week — You never want to have your bye week when you're going good. The Chargers being forced to sit back now could very well slow their momentum. That's especially dangerous considering their next game is at Baltimore, who should be riding high at 3-0 after a road game at Cleveland. Plus, with all the accolades they've gotten after their hot start, there's always the chance for complacency. A bad time for a bye.

Outlook — The Chargers have been grand and all, but it's been against the two worst teams in football. Crushing Aaron Brooks and Kerry Collins is the football equivalent of beating up the blind kid in school. Still, unless Denver somehow turns it around, this division is San Diego's to lose. They have a few tough road games ahead, but even if they lose all of them and a few others (which I don't think will happen), 10 wins still gets this division won. Of course, Marty Schottenheimer is still the coach, so all this winning probably won't mean much when he's blowing a close playoff game in January. (Sorry, but it's true.)

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 10:23 PM | Comments (1)

The Team Everybody Wants to Play

Tampa and St. Petersburg, FL are home to several minor league baseball teams. Why is it that whenever I turn on a Tampa Bay Devil Rays baseball game, I can't help but think that one of these minor league teams snuck under the radar and tricked professional ball clubs into believing they're an actual MLB organization?

Beginning in 1998, the franchise from the Bay area has done nothing but lose, finishing last in their division in every year except for 2004. They are a career 518-775, a .401 winning percentage. In other words, of every five games these guys play, they drop three. The last time these guys have won (as of this writing of September 18th) was September 9th. They've won four games in the month of September alone. They won eight in August. Almost six weeks of playing and they have eight wins to show for it.

Does anyone else see anything wrong with that?

Their best hitter is only slugging .532. What? Are you kidding me? He's only making contact with the ball half of the time he steps up to the plate?! That's not Major League Baseball. That's not even Triple-A. There are nine teams in the AL with at least one (and sometimes two) players that have better slugging percentages.

It gets better. Every single team in the AL has at least one (and sometimes two or three) players on their regular lineup that have higher batting averages than outfielder Rocco Baldelli's team-leading .308 BA. Their team batting average of .255 is coincidentally an AL-worst.

They are in the bottom three of the AL of almost every single statistical category, whether it's doubles, triples, hits, RBIs, on-base-percentage — you name it, the Devil Rays stink at it.

But, there is a glimmer of hope. They are third in the American League in one statistic:

Strikeouts.

With the offensive woes facing this team, the bullpen isn't faring much better. Their pitching staff has the fourth-highest ERA (.499) and second-most hits given up (1480) in the league. That's roughly five runs and 10 hits given up by the Devil Rays' pitchers a game.

Devil Rays, stop trading players in their prime for prospects that could potentially be better than what you've got. Start from scratch, and stick with the players you get. Then, claw your way to an average record and third place in your division and then maybe you'll get a player or two in free agency that will move you to a place where you can fight for a division title.

There needs to be a return to the basics of putting the bat on the ball. There needs to be new life breathed into a franchise that is just keeping its head above .380 this season.

Florida is as ripe with some of the best young baseball talent as any state out there. Bringing football to Tampa worked. Heck, even bringing hockey to Tampa worked.

Why hasn't it worked yet for baseball?

Posted by Ryan Day at 9:59 PM | Comments (1)

September 19, 2006

NFL Week 2 Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* Listening to ESPN's Monday Night Football announcers is like watching the game with your friend who thinks he knows a lot about football, and won't shut up about it, but really doesn't know anything.

* If NFL commentators really think the chicken dance is a brilliant creative stroke, they need to get out more. A lot more.

* James Brown has brought an air of professionalism and credibility to the CBS pregame show.

* FOX's pregame show retains one huge advantage over those of CBS and especially ESPN: no recently-retired players. The guys on the program don't have a lot of friends still in the league, so they're not afraid to criticize people.

* With the possible exception of whoever came up with the opening to NBC's Sunday night broadcast, no one on planet Earth hates football fans more than the program directors at ESPN. Why on earth was Dwyane Wade in the booth on MNF? I mean, he probably knows more about the game than Tony Kornheiser, but what did Wade add to the broadcast?

***

I didn't address NBC's NFL coverage last week, but they're a new player in the game (back after a long break, actually, but it comes to the same thing) and it's time for an early evaluation of their work so far. Bob Costas is a smart, funny, knowledgeable guy, and it's nice to have him covering the NFL on a weekly basis. Sterling Sharpe, however, is either trying too hard to be outrageous (which is to say, trying at all) or is simply a clown. Having fun on the set is great, and that's a big part of why FOX's pregame show has been the league's best for so long, but there's nothing wrong with honesty and dignity, either.

NBC's broadcast team of Al Michaels and John Madden doesn't bother me. I know a lot of people don't like Madden any more, but he's still got some worthwhile things to say, and he and Michaels have some legitimate chemistry. I've already expressed my feelings on that bizarre and pointless three-minute opening NBC is using, but it was also disappointing to see Andrea Kremer talking about shoulder pad coolers while the referee was announcing a penalty. Getting to hear the ref's calls is a basic right to which football fans should be entitled.

The NFL Network keeps advertising that its games this season will be "by football people for football people." Let's hope so. ESPN's Week 1 team of Brad Nessler, Dick Vermeil, and Ron Jaworski was the best I've seen in years (though Jaws seemed like he was trying too hard), and if the NFL Network can come close to that, I'll be happy.

For now, on to the power rankings. The number in brackets indicates last week's rank.

1. Cincinnati Bengals [2] — The top four teams are very close right now, and I'm not convinced that Cincinnati belongs in this position, but the Bengals have started strong, winning by double-digits at Kansas City and routing their biggest rival by 17 points. The defense, other than a long pass completion to Braylon Edwards, was effective, but the stars here are on offense. RB Rudi Johnson shone most brightly on Sunday, but Carson Palmer put up big numbers and young receivers Chris Henry and Kelley Washington look ready to step into the spotlight.

2. Indianapolis Colts [1] — So far, the 2006 Colts look a lot like the 2004 Colts. The pass offense is incredible, and Indianapolis will get its points, but the defense can't keep up. In the absence of a running game, Indy may have trouble keeping its defense off the field, and it won't be able to close games against good teams. Against Houston on Sunday, the Colts built up a 30-3 lead before Houston scored three touchdowns in the fourth quarter. The final score and stat line may be a little misleading, but David Carr passed for three touchdowns and a 140.2 rating against this defense. Next week's game against Jacksonville could tell us a lot about how this team handles adversity.

3. Jacksonville Jaguars [4] — It's tempting to dismiss them as a serious contender because the offense is so mediocre, but the '06 Jaguars could follow the blueprint of a team like the '02 Bucs. They controlled the second half against Pittsburgh, eventually winning a 15-minute edge in time of possession and keeping the Steelers without a rushing first down. The middle of Jacksonville's defense, with Mike Peterson behind John Henderson and Marcus Stroud, may be the best in the league, and DB Rashean Mathis will have quarterbacks worried all season.

4. Chicago Bears [7] — Through two weeks, no other team has shown the same balance between offense and defense. The Bears averaged over six yards per play against a Detroit defense that held Seattle under 4.5, and Rex Grossman has looked fantastic the last two weeks. Lovie Smith and Ron Rivera's defense sacked Jon Kitna six times and forced three turnovers. If Chicago plays like this at Minnesota in Week 3, I'll probably move them to the top of the rankings.

5. San Diego Chargers [15] — The fifth through 12th spots are really close this week, and San Diego probably doesn't deserve to be this high without having beaten a good team. They could drop several spots during their bye next week. For now, though, they've posted a +60 point differential, the best in the league through two weeks. The schedule gets a lot harder starting in Week 4, when the Chargers travel to Baltimore.

6. Pittsburgh Steelers [6] — When your best players come up small, wins are hard to come by. Against Jacksonville, Ben Roethlisberger was sacked twice, completed half his passes (for under five yards per attempt), and threw two late interceptions. Willie Parker averaged less than two yards per carry and finished with 20 rushing yards. Hines Ward had two catches for 29 yards. Joey Porter and Troy Polamalu combined for three tackles and an assist. Pittsburgh will come around, but with their next two games against Cincinnati and at San Diego, a 1-3 start isn't out of the question.

7. New England Patriots [5] — Dominated the Jets in a way the score doesn't indicate, but nearly lost the game anyway. The defense held New York without a rushing first down, but couldn't get off the field, allowing the Jets to convert over 60% of their third downs. Tom Brady struggled again, completing barely half his passes and throwing an interception when New England was in scoring position. Through two games, TE Ben Watson leads the team in receptions (6) and yards (89). Deion Branch is an elite receiver, and this team is not the same without him.

8. Seattle Seahawks [3] — Seattle's defense is going to be exceptional this year. It shut down Detroit in Week 1 and did a pretty good job on Arizona's explosive offense in Week 2, holding Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald to a combined 114 yards. The offense is in trouble, though. Steve Hutchinson is gone, Porkchop Womack is injured, and Shaun Alexander is barely averaging three yards per carry. Tight end Jerramy Stevens is hurt, and Itula Mili hasn't produced much in his absence. QB Matt Hasselbeck had a terrible game against the Cardinals. Seattle actually scored fewer points against Arizona — playing at home — than the 49ers did on the road.

9. Philadelphia Eagles [9] — Should feel sick at the game they gave away to the Giants. The Eagles dominated the contest, shutting down Tiki Barber and humiliating Eli Manning. L.J. Smith outgained Jeremy Shockey by almost 100 yards. Despite the loss, Philadelphia is clearly the best team in the NFC East, and if Andy Reid can keep the group together and start closing out games, the Eagles should be a Super Bowl contender. They will miss Jevon Kearse, who's out for the season with a knee injury.

10. New York Giants [10] — Little Manning showed some serious resilience, but for three quarters he looked like one of the worst starting QBs in the league. With the Eagles ganging up to stop Barber, all Manning could do was get sacked, producing nothing for his team. If I were playing the Giants, I would dare them to try to win through the air. The defense struggled against Philadelphia, too, giving up six plays of 20 yards or more in the first half. Osi Umenyiora, an all-pro a year ago, has looked very ordinary so far this season.

11. Atlanta Falcons [11] — Actually had the same number of first downs as Tampa Bay this Sunday, with a lower third down conversion percentage. Michael Vick threw for under 100 yards and was sacked three times, the Bucs' Joey Galloway caught nine passes for 161 yards, and Atlanta's kicking game was terrible, with four missed field goals, including a block. The running game was exceptional, but you can't win with the option in today's NFL, which is why the Falcons are still outside the top 10.

12. Baltimore Ravens [14] — This is probably too low. The Ravens beat Tampa by a wider margin than Atlanta did, and the defense looks incredible, reminiscent of the Marvin Lewis years. Unfortunately, the offense was also reminiscent of the Marvin Lewis years on Sunday. Baltimore's schedule gets very tough for the next few weeks, and while it doesn't seem likely, it's not inconceivable that the Ravens could drop to 2-4 if things go the wrong way.

13. Minnesota Vikings [13] — DE Erasmus James was hurt on Sunday, and he'll miss the rest of the season. That hurts a team that doesn't have a lot of depth on the defensive line. The good news for Minnesota is that the team is 2-0, and the Lions and Packers appear to be two of the worst teams in the league, meaning the Vikings should get four free wins that could help carry them to a playoff position next January.

14. Denver Broncos [12] — Jake Plummer had another rough game, but it's way too early to bench him for Jay Cutler. Plummer has always been inconsistent, and two bad games to start the season shouldn't convince the Broncos to give up on him. This team has serious postseason aspirations, and Plummer gives Denver a better chance of realizing them than Cutler does.

15. Dallas Cowboys [17] — What an ugly game Sunday night. Dallas and Washington combined for 20 penalties, accounting for eight first downs and over 200 yards. There were eight accepted penalties, plus two more declined, in the first quarter alone, including four accepted and one declined just on the Cowboys' first drive. There was at least one penalty that shouldn't have been called, when DeMarcus Ware was charged with roughing the passer at the end of the first quarter. Ware made an obvious effort not to hit Mark Brunell, and calling the penalty perverted the spirit of the rule, which is designed to protect quarterbacks from vicious or unnecessary hits, not to punish defenders for hustling.

16. Buffalo Bills [18] — Unimpressive win against the Dolphins, especially on offense, but the sack machine was turned all the way on, as Buffalo got to Daunte Culpepper seven times, piling up 60 sack yards. Buffalo wraps up its season-opening tour of the division at home against the Jets in Week 3, matching up its impressive pass defense against the apparent renaissance of Chad Pennington's career. The Bills should win without too much trouble, and if they don't, you can forget all the nice things I've been saying about them for the last few weeks.

17. Carolina Panthers [8] — I'm not necessarily saying this is the case, but it's worth considering at this point whether Jake Delhomme might not be a very good quarterback. For each of the last two seasons, he just threw to one exceptional receiver over and over (Muhsin Muhammad in 2004 and Steve Smith in 2005) while good defense and smart coaching covered for his deficiencies. This season, with things breaking down in other areas, Delhomme's weaknesses are becoming more apparent. Just a theory.

18. Kansas City Chiefs [19] — The second-highest 0-2 team, Kansas City lost to Cincinnati and took Denver to overtime on the road. Larry Johnson had a nice game, but the passing attack is nowhere to be found. I don't know if it's the absence of coaches Dick Vermeil and Al Saunders, the injury to Trent Green, the advancing age of key contributors like Eddie Kennison and Tony Gonzalez, or something else entirely, but if this offense (16 points in two games) doesn't get on track, the Chiefs won't go .500 this year, much less make the playoffs.

19. New Orleans Saints [23] — By far the lowest-rated 2-0 team, and they'll make a big jump in the rankings if they upset Atlanta on MNF next week. For now, though, New Orleans has edged two terrible teams, beating the Browns and Packers by an average of six points. Most worrisome is the offensive show the Saints allowed Green Bay to put on, giving up 340 passing yards and 27 points a week after the Packers were held to 170 passing yards and no points.

20. New York Jets [24] — Losing to the Patriots is nothing to be ashamed of, but the Jets' four-place jump in the rankings has less to do with their results against New England than the performances of teams like Washington and St. Louis. Chad Pennington looks great so far — and "so far" is an important qualifier — but the running game still hasn't materialized. The Jets will lose their next three games.

21. Miami Dolphins [22] — The hype for this team got pretty out of control coming into this season, and so far, the Dolphins haven't done anything to justify it. Daunte Culpepper has been somewhere between mediocre and bad, with a 69.2 passer rating, more sacks (10) than completions of 20 yards or more (8), and no significant rushing accomplishments. The rest of the team isn't innocent, but Miami's going to need a lot more from the passing game if it wants to be in playoff contention past November.

22. Washington Redskins [16] — No team with Super Bowl aspirations can have Brunell lining up under center at this point in his career. Before the fourth quarter, Brunell had only completed three passes to his wide receivers. The team misses Clinton Portis on offense and Shawn Springs on defense, but the problems here ultimately rest with the quarterback and the coaching staff. If Washington doesn't turn things around really quickly, Joe Gibbs should start Jason Campbell. He can't play any worse than Brunell did on Sunday night, and this is starting to look like a rebuilding year in Washington.

23. St. Louis Rams [20] — The 49ers have won only five of their last 18 games, and three of those five victories have come against the Rams. St. Louis couldn't protect its own quarterback against the 49ers, nor could it get to San Francisco's easily-rattled young QB. How this team beat Denver and lost to the Niners is a bit beyond me.

24. Arizona Cardinals [25] — There's a problem here, and I haven't seen Arizona yet this season, so I don't know if it's the quarterback or the offensive line. Kurt Warner had a decent passing day against the Seahawks, but he also took five sacks and fumbled four times, though none were recovered by Seattle. The Cardinals also have the most penalties of any team so far this season, and that has to change. Neil Rackers missed two field goals on Sunday, as many as he missed all of last season.

25. San Francisco 49ers [32] — Given the lack of talent on the roster, their results in the first two weeks have been somewhat amazing. Getting rid of offensive coordinator Mike McCarthy seems to have helped, as Alex Smith, Frank Gore, and Antonio Bryant are all playing well under new OC Norv Turner. The defensive coaching staff deserves credit, too, with San Francisco racking up nine sacks in the first two games, which ties them with Baltimore, Chicago, and San Diego for third in the NFL.

26. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [21] — Has any team looked worse through two weeks than Tampa Bay? The Bucs have been outscored 41-3, meaning they are averaging 1.5 points per game. Chris Simms has been a disaster, throwing six interceptions and posting a 40.0 passer rating that places him more than 80 points behind Grossman, Charlie Batch, and Carr. These rankings reflect how good a team is right now, not just how well they've done through one or two weeks, so Tampa stays out of the bottom five. I believe the Buccaneers are a bad team, but not that bad.

27. Detroit Lions [27] — I spent a lot of time Sunday trying to figure out how Jon Kitna completes 77% of his passes, for 230 yards and no interceptions, and they only score seven points. Part of the problem is that Detroit's running game is useless — other than a 29-yard gain by Kevin Jones, the Lions rushed 13 times for 17 yards in Week 2. Even against the Bears, that's pathetic. They should probably be ranked lower than this, and I would move them down if I could.

28. Cleveland Browns [26] — What shocks me about this team is how ineffective the running game has been through the first two weeks. Last year, Reuben Droughns averaged 4 yards a carry and 77 rushing yards per game. This season, he's averaging 2.4 and 29.5. Cleveland's longest rush of the season has been by Dennis Northcutt. After him it's Charlie Frye. The Browns have some promising young receivers, but if they can't run the ball, this team is going nowhere. Cleveland needs to win at home against Baltimore next week if it's doing anything this season.

29. Green Bay Packers [29] — Discussing Green Bay's on-field play is sort of sad right now, so I want to address something I heard on FOX's pregame show. Jimmy Johnson suggested that Brett Favre is holding back Aaron Rodgers and the Packers, and that he should be traded and reunited with his old coach, Jon Gruden, in Tampa Bay. Sacrilege. I wish Favre had retired after last season instead of playing this year, but the man has to retire a Packer.

30. Houston Texans [31] — Sacked Peyton Manning twice, which is hard to do, but that's the only good thing you can say about a defense that gave up 43 points and 400 passing yards. The offense has showed some promise this year, but Carr was sacked another four times against Indianapolis, and the injury to left tackle Charles Spencer leaves Houston's quarterback even more vulnerable. Speaking of vulnerable, though, the Texans have winnable games at home against Washington and Miami the next two weeks.

31. Oakland Raiders [28] — ESPN's fantastically bad presentations excluded, I'm not sure I've ever heard less professional announcing than Gus Johnson and Steve Tasker managed on Sunday. I think they have really big crushes on young Raiders QB Andrew Walter, because there's no other way to explain their uncontrollable enthusiasm for him. Walter went 10-for-27 against the Ravens, throwing three interceptions and no touchdowns. He also burned timeouts needlessly, and his passer rating this season is 19.0. Nothing related to Oakland's offense is worth getting excited about, especially the quarterback play.

32. Tennessee Titans [30] — The battle for last place was really competitive, with Oakland, Houston, and Green Bay all making compelling cases. What made Tennessee's argument look so strong was the lack of reason for optimism. The defense, which allowed 40 points on Sunday, making Philip Rivers and Michael Turner look like all-pros, isn't even the worst unit on the team. The Titans completed barely a third of their passes against San Diego. The starting quarterback was signed three weeks ago and still doesn't know the offense. The backup quarterback was the team's leading rusher on Sunday. It seems safe to say — and this is a strong statement, given what we've seen the last two weeks — that Tennessee has the worst QB situation in the NFL right now.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 8:56 PM | Comments (4)

Orioles Thinking Big, Spending Small

It's no secret that the Major League Baseball playing field ain't exactly level these days. Any number of fan bases start every season with no reason for optimism, unless their home team is planning an "everybody gets a car" promotion on opening day.

From Denver to Tampa Bay, literally hundreds of baseball fans have no shot of seeing their teams in postseason play, and it's for all different reasons. In south Florida, where payrolls usually hover around the price of the Yankees' latest middle relief specialist, it's a case of bringing a knife to a gunfight every year. It's a lineup of guys you've never heard of against the American League All-Stars, so you can pardon a team like the Devil Rays if they're not exactly putting the fear of God into the Yankees and Red Sox each year.

In Colorado, the Rockies have never been big spenders and have the added challenge of playing in perhaps the most unique ballpark in the majors. Between breaking balls that don't break, an outfield the size of Yellowstone, and lineups that, until this season, couldn't hit their way out of paper bag on the road, the personnel challenges facing the Colorado front office are a little different than for most clubs. Although they probably don't deserve a free pass, the obstacles facing the Rockies aren't all of their own making.

Then, there's a team that somehow underachieves year after year without becoming a punch line. The Baltimore Orioles, whose last winning season came in 1997 (only the Pirates and Brewers have assembled longer streaks), are a little short on excuses. They play their home games at Camden Yards, still one of the most popular ballparks in the big leagues. Their season attendance is annually in the top five in the American League, and it can't be the manager's fault, because they've been through four of those in the nine-year period since they last won more than they lost.

General manager? That's closer to the problem, since Nick Markakis and Hayden Penn are two of the few names on a rather modest list of homegrown stars. The Orioles' farm system is solid, but nothing special, and the lack of impact players from the last 10 drafts certainly points to a shortcoming in the club's player evaluation.

Then again, it's tough to pin it all on a single guilty party, since owner Peter Angelos has employed a dizzying cast of characters at the position over the past decade, from Pat Gillick (1996-1998), to Frank Wren (1999), and Syd Thrift (2000-2002). Then, apparently deciding that a single general manager wasn't getting the job done, Angelos settled on a two-headed arrangement with Mike Flanagan and Jim Beattie serving as co-GMs 2003-2004. Beattie was fired in 2005, and Flanagan now holds the position by himself.

The success of Markakis, a first-round pick from the 2003 draft (.302 average, 16 HRs) and Chris Ray, a reliever taken two rounds later in the same draft (31 saves, 2.95 ERA) suggests that things may be taking a turn for the better on the talent acquisition side of things. Nonetheless, the Orioles are headed for fewer than 70 wins unless they get hot in the season's final two weeks, and they're nowhere near competing with the Red Sox or Yankees for an AL East title any time soon.

Although the Orioles' payroll isn't as high as it has been in the past (at $72.5 million, Baltimore ranks 15th in the majors for 2006), the Orioles still make free agent decisions as if they play in New York or Boston and poor free agent decisions appear to be at the root of Baltimore's struggles more than anything else.

One needs only to look at the highest-paid two or three players on the Orioles' roster each year to see how their biggest investments have usually done little to improve their final record and much to limit their ability to fill holes. In 2006, Miguel Tejada tops the payroll at $11.8 million, and he's a bit of an exception, since few would argue that his .327 batting average and .873 OPS (third among major league shortstops behind Carlos Guillen and Derek Jeter) are the source of Baltimore's struggles.

Kris Benson ($8.3 million) and Russ Ortiz ($7.8 million), on the other hand, aren't so fortunate. Benson's been passable (10-11, 4.54), but nothing special, and for more than 11 percent of his team's payroll, he's being paid to be special. As for Ortiz, here's guessing the Orioles brass was hoping for a little more than five horrendous starts and banishment from the starting rotation. Need we mention LaTroy Hawkins ($4.4 million), who carries around the price tag of a nearly elite closer and the production of a league-minimum middle reliever? Didn't think so.

Ah, but that's just 2006. Take a trip down memory lane and it gets more fun. Try 2005, when Sammy Sosa ($17 million) topped the Baltimore payroll, along with the soon-to-be-gone Sidney Ponson ($8.5 million), and the quickly-slipping Javy Lopez ($7.5 million). Obviously, the Orioles weren't paying Sosa's full salary, but you get the idea.

How about 2004, when Baltimore was paying David Segui $7 million to play 18 games at age 37? Or 2003, when Tony Batista batted a robust .235 with a mind-boggling on-base percentage of .270 and yet was somehow allowed to play 161 games at third base? To be fair, he did hit 26 home runs and drive in 99 runs, but who wants to bet the Orioles could have brought Rob Deer out of the retirement to do the same thing for less than $6.5 million? By the way, Batista's microscopic .663 OPS was the lowest among everyday major league third basemen by 50 points.

Need we go on? No, I think not. The point is that the Orioles have, for several years, made personnel decisions, particularly on the free agent market, as if they have a limitless supply of cash with which to rectify their mistakes. Spending $200 million on his team's salaries, George Steinbrenner can afford to have general manager Brian Cashman take a pricey stab on Kyle Farnsworth ($5.4 million), a guy with a career ERA of 4.43. Carl Pavano ($8 million) has yet to throw a pitch for the Yankees, but Mike Mussina ($19 million), Randy Johnson ($15.7 million), Jaret Wright ($7.6 million), and a lineup jammed with the likes of Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, and Jason Giambi cover his absence up quite nicely.

If the Orioles aren't going to spend like the big boys, they need to start thinking like the little kids and resist the temptation to grab the next aging former star that hits the market. Markakis, Ray, Erik Bedard, Chris Britton, and Brian Roberts are all steps in the right direction. There will be growing pains as the Orioles try to ween themselves off proven talent, but it shouldn't be that bad, since most of their high-priced imports were being outperformed by youngsters anyway.

Baltimore may play near the nation's capital, but the sooner the organization starts thinking like it's based in Tampa Bay and starts letting its cheap youth flower whenever possible, the sooner the Orioles will reprise their 1997 playoff run.

Posted by Zach Jones at 8:39 PM | Comments (2)

September 18, 2006

I Hate Mondays: Shelling Art Shell

It is two weeks into the NFL season and everyone is jumping to conclusions.

While I didn't start the "Fire Art Shell" bandwagon, I'm hopping on it.

Maybe that is jumping the gun a little bit. They won't ditch him this early in the season and in all likelihood, will let him play out this season.

But even so, his long-awaited return to the sidelines has been a disaster.

The Raiders are batting 0-2 while being outscored 55-6 in their two effortless defeats.

In their opening matchup against division rival San Diego, a game which the Raiders had about five months or so to prepare for, Shell's boys looked as cohesive as a cast of "The Surreal Life."

The Chargers, whom the Raiders should be very familiar with, since they face each other twice a season, stymied Oakland as if that pirate on their logo had a patch over both eyes.

While several fire alarms and sirens have gone off in the Raiders locker room, the biggest red flag has been the coaching staff's inability to make proper adjustment and assessments.

In training camp, Art Shell was asked how Aaron Brooks is taking to the new offense:

"Aaron is taking big strides," Shell said, "the light bulb is going off so he understands now what we are trying to do."

That was then, this is now. In just over one game's worth of action, Brooks is 6-of-14 for 68 yards with two costly fumbles.

In the preseason, the play of starting left tackle and second-overall selection in the 2004 NFL draft Robert Gallery was riddled with penalties and gaffes, but Shell was not disconcerted. He said he'll be fine.

After being used as a turnstile in Week 1, Gallery has taken refuge from all the criticism on the sideline while nursing a calf injury.

Randy Moss has already ripped into the coaching staff twice in this young season on both FOX and ESPN radio. After the team's second loss of the season to the Baltimore Ravens, LaMont Jordan was also less than subtle with his shots, stating there is no reason to be optimistic from an offensive standpoint.

He wasn't the only one taking aim as safety Jarrod Cooper also reamed into the coaching staff for benching Jerry Porter, who has also disrupted team chemistry by demanding a trade and cheering (or not paying attention) while his teammates were getting worked over in Week 1.

The Raiders, as a whole, seem completely lost.

Much of the blame must be directed at a porous offensive line that is on pace to allow 120 sacks this season, but more of the criticism should be shouldered by the coaches.

Facing two pressure defenses, the Raiders have used several five- and seven-step quarterback drops on passing plays that they simply know they will not have the time to develop.

Moss, the team's best wide receiving threat, only has six receptions and has been far from an integral part of the offensive game plans in either games. One would think he would see even more passes thrown his way this season, especially now that Doug Gabriel is playing for the New England Patriots and that Jerry Porter isn't even in uniform on Sundays.

Another factoring issue is that the Raiders offensive coordinator, Tom Walsh, has either been the mayor of Swan Valley, Idaho or managing a bed and breakfast over the last 11 seasons. His plan for a vertical passing game and his blueprint for a downhill running game has, quite clearly, blown up in his face. More importantly, since he's been away for so long, he may be able to diagnose the problem, but it doesn't look like he can fix them.

The Raiders are two weeks into the season, but they have a locker room that is about to explode, a coaching staff who is dazed and confused, and they are outputting the effort of a team who doesn't believe they can win.

They lack leadership, heart, and discipline. Three characteristics that Shell vowed he would infuse. So much for restoring the Silver and Black to the glory days.

For most new head coaches, there is a honeymoon stage which has minor flashes of optimism. For Shell, it has been pitch black and his Raiders are abandoning ship.

So am I.

Art Shell and the Oakland Raiders mix like Mondays and me.

"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead." — Woody Allen

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 8:44 PM | Comments (8)

The Unbearable Lightness of Populism

It is not a title for a new movie. But if it was, the starring actors would be John McEnroe, Patrick McEnroe, Mary Carillo, and Tracy Austin, along with the USTA and American tennis parents as the supporting cast.

The two-week long bashing of foreign-born tennis players participating in college tennis during the U.S. Open telecast was so excessive that at one point it was beginning to sound like the whining of pro-American car interest groups wanting limits put on Japanese cars because they are unable to make their product up to par with the competitor. Oh, and isn't it convenient to throw in always some manipulation of nationalistic feelings in the mix?

Of course, it is no surprise that the USTA is standing tall and strong behind this argument and supports the parents "one hundred percent." What reason could be more convenient and more popular than placing the blame on the foreign college athletes for the USTA to shadow its own shortcomings in the subject of improving American tennis?

Foreign athletes already have to go through many more complicated procedures which cost sometimes 10 times more than the typical application fee of an American to get accepted into colleges and earn the right to play with a scholarship. Now as if that is not enough, American parents are complaining and want them banned because these willing athletes are taking away their precious children's scholarships away?

Who says that a good portion of foreign players that play NCAA tennis don't end up staying in the United States, settle in this country, eventually become Americans and maybe even model citizens? Who says they don't end up being a better American than the one that you "oh so heartily" claim whose scholarship is being taken away? Has anyone done a study on the GPA of Americans occupying the athletic scholarships versus the international ones, and maybe analyze the outcome to determine who takes their education more seriously? While it is typical to accuse a foreign player of doing so, has no American amateur tennis player gone overseas and earned money in some tournament somewhere and played college tennis later?

Here is a simple solution for the disgruntled "I want everything to fall in my lap" type of parent: get your child to work harder on the court! Tell your child to become a serious tennis player, to drop the Nintendo or PlayStation, not to check the messages on Facebook or MySpace 10 times a day, to quit asking for a pair of new popular shoes that just entered the market, or three of the newest rackets just advertised on TV every single time he/she enters the clubhouse (never mind that you may have created that behavior by your own actions). Teach him/her to get his/her lazy self up off the couch and call other friends to meet and play at the local club and not just settle down for the four times a week tennis lessons with the local pro that you and your spouse just financed and scheduled for him while he/she is on the phone chatting with his/her buddies.

Is it not outrageous that Germany, Czech Republic, France, and other smaller nations have more juniors ranked in the world than American juniors? To blame the foreign college players for the failure of American tennis in general is a sad excuse for those who view perfection when they look in the mirror and project blame onto others when the mirror image gets distorted.

Could the problem be that foreigners are more interested in just playing tennis and getting an education than which fraternity or sorority to join or how nice the campus of the school is, or how "sweet" the tennis facilities are in the school? Could it be that many American juniors, during a recruiting trip, ask the coach how many rackets and outfits they will be getting once they are on the team, whereas most foreigners will want to know how many hours a day they will be practicing and how many tournaments or dual matches are to be played during the tennis season?

Could it even be that most foreigners are simply wanting the scholarships more than Americans? Imagine an American junior wanting to go to the school that his/her heart belongs to, even though he/she knows that he/she will not receive a scholarship and maybe not even get to play on the team. Now imagine that same player being offered a full scholarship to another school of lesser or better level in tennis maybe, but equal in academics. Finally, imagine that the player chooses to go and pay in some cases close to $100,000 over the four years instead of going to the school that did offer the scholarship, simply because he/she "does not want to" go that school.

Well, you don't have to imagine it! It happens frequently, multiple times a year in the U.S.! Just ask the people in the business.

Furthermore, can you imagine a parent choosing to pay that considerable figure to the first school simply because he/she does not want to say that his/her child is a "blah blah tiger" or "blah blah wildcat" (in this case blah blah being the school that offers the child the full scholarship)? It is not science fiction, folks! Not only does it happen, but the parent will even admit it and say it out loud and clear.

There is one thing that is not imaginable, however: a foreign tennis player refusing a scholarship to play on a college team and picking another where he/she is not offered one simply because he/she feels allegiance to the school or for any of the reasons mentioned above. What is even laughable would be the father of a tennis player from Czech Republic, for example, saying that he would rather pay a fortune for his child to get an education at a certain school rather than getting a free ride elsewhere because he can't stand being the father of a child going to that "elsewhere."

I will finish by saying that I was deeply saddened when, in the name of popularity with the audience, Tracy Austin (someone that I admired watching as a player) stooped to a very low level when, during a match on TV, she went on a three-minute-long bashing of foreigners doing this and that to American tennis followed by a classic display of hypocrisy by adding, "Don't get me wrong, I am not against foreigners, but limit them to two players per team."

Excuse me? Would Tracy like to play the role of the judge and jury also by volunteering perhaps to pick which two foreigners out of 10 that applied for the scholarship are more deserving than the others? Or if she does not care to do so, could she appoint and inform us who she thinks will be qualified enough to make those picks?

That quote sound more like a person saying, "Don't get me wrong! I have many friends who are blah blah," when it's obvious they are prejudiced towards the group of people representing in that quote the "blah blah" race or nationality or origin.

That's it for now. I have had enough bashing the populist bashers. Take care, everyone!

Posted by Mert Ertunga at 8:32 PM | Comments (5)

What a Spectacular Seperation Saturday

What a day of college football. I am nearly speechless. Separation Saturday lived up to its billing and then some ... and then some!

Oregon's touchdown-onside kick-touchdown-blocked field goal has to be one of the most amazing upset comebacks that college football has ever seen. Michigan absolutely trounced Notre Dame on the road and essentially saved Lloyd Carr's job in the process. Clemson beat an obviously-overrated Florida State team that relies far too much on their defense. Louisville nearly blanked Miami and Auburn held on to a slim lead for most of the game against LSU. Not to mention, TCU extended their winning streak to 13 games. Could you really ask for more?

Watching the end of the Oregon/Oklahoma game was like a dream and to anyone who missed it, you missed quite a finale. If you know anyone who recorded this game, pop some popcorn and watch a great game. Clemson RB James Davis scored with seconds left and put the Tigers ahead to win the game. Florida squeaked out of Tennessee with a one-point victory. USC quieted Nebraska over the top approach in the days leading up the game. Nebraska was demanding attention and speaking of being recognized again as an elite program. Let me say the obvious — they failed miserably.

What can be made of all this? I don't think it's all too obvious since we're only a few weeks into the season, but there are no truly elite teams this year. Sure, Ohio State won by 30 points, but they struggled early against Cincinnati. Notre Dame was overrated by the hype machine and their reputation. Auburn looks for real, but QB Brandon Cox can't seem to stay consistent and scoring seven points against a good team like LSU just isn't enough. West Virginia is benefiting from a cupcake schedule. USC is still good, but their unreliable running game will come to haunt them as they will have to improve.

Elsewhere, LSU has a great defense, but clearly can't put points on the board. Florida also seems very balanced, but I've just never been sold on Chris Leak to pull through in big games and when they will play the better teams in the SEC, there's just no telling how they will do. Louisville also has great balance, but with QB Brian Brown out at least one month, there's just no telling how they will do over the long haul or if he will even be effective upon his return.

Georgia also seems to have a pretty good defense, but with the SEC being so good, they're bound to get burned. Michigan, on the other hand, seems to be feistier than ever and could prove themselves to be a top-five team after a very poor showing last season.

There were three huge upsets this past Saturday and I'd expect this to be a trend all throughout the season. With no clear-cut consistently dominant team, the top 15 could be a revolving door. If you're expecting another BCS disaster like in years past, don't expect it. The two teams who will end up number one and two will be the clear-cut top-shelf teams that they are expected to be.

Here's how I see the top 15:

1. Ohio State
2. Auburn
3. USC
4. West Virginia
5. Florida
6. Michigan
7. Georgia
8. LSU
9. Texas
10. Louisville
11. Notre Dame
12. Virginia Tech
13. Florida State
14. Oregon
15. Iowa

Posted by Matt De Lima at 8:32 PM | Comments (3)

September 16, 2006

Why The Rock is Overcooked

I was walking through the newsroom the other day when I noticed a co-worker looking at an ad for the new Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson film "Gridiron Gang" on her computer monitor.

"You have to see that movie," I said to her.

"Why?" she replied.

"Well, you know what'll happen if you don't."

"No, what?"

"The Rock will layeth the smack down on your candy ass, that's what."

"No, he won't," she said, defiantly.

"Why?"

"Because I can smell what he's cooking."

The Rock's last match for World Wrestling Entertainment was at Wrestlemania XX in March 2004. His legacy as the last crossover, touchstone performer for Vince McMahon's flying circus is undeniable; like Hulk Hogan before him, The Rock's cadre of catchphrases and signature moves are know to the wrestling smarts and ignorants alike. In less than a decade on the circuit, he added more to the pop culture lexicon than Dane Cook and "Family Guy" could if given 50 years.

Like Hogan, The Rock left professional wrestling for Hollywood. Unlike Hogan — and I cover all of the Hulkster's string of cinematic abortions in my book "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History" — The Rock has found a modicum of success. His cameo in "The Mummy Returns" helped at the box office, and he headlined "The Scorpion King" to over $90 million in gross receipts. "The Rundown" was a surprise hit, and his remake of "Walking Tall" nearly matched it. "Be Cool" and "Doom" failed, but hopes are high for his based-on-a-true-story football drama "Gridiron Gang."

I won't be seeing "Gridiron Gang" because I didn't see "Invincible" or "Coach Carter" or "Friday Night Lights" or any of the other 10,000 "inspirational" sports movies cut from the same mold. They do nothing for me. I'll gladly pay $10 to see the worst sports comedy — come to think of it, I did ante up to see "Necessary Roughness" in the theater — than some piffle about a coach helping some shy kid learn how to believe in himself or the star player how to read or the principal/team owner/local politician how to realize what a Caucasian douchebag he's being. The last one of these films I did pay to see was "Miracle," and that's only because I wanted to find out if liberal Hollywood would still allow the Commies to lose the big game.

I also won't be seeing this film because it stars The Rock. Because it's beneath him. Because he's one of the most naturally charismatic entertainers in the industry, and I don't believe a half-baked football film does that justice — like most of his other movie roles haven't.

It's time accept the fact that The Rock's best acting performances may be behind him — in the squared circle of the WWE.

There comes a time in every young man's life when he realizes wrestling is fake. It begins when you start to question the little things, like how championship belts never seem to change hands without a television camera present. Then you begin to notice how the punches never seem to land, or how the ring seems to bounce like a trampoline, or how the dropkick makes no sense as a practical offensive maneuver. Then you actually see the wrestlers whispering instructions to each other as they prepare to bounce off the ropes. The final straw for me was when devout American hero "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan was pulled over in New Jersey in the same car as (gasp!) his enemy The Iron Sheik and (double gasp!) a bag of weed.

(It occurs to me that I may have just pissed in the Cheerios of some of my younger readers, who may still hold out hope that professional wrestling isn't phonier than The Tooth Fairy.)

(I would encourage my younger readers to disregard that last part about the Tooth Fairy. I'm sure she's real ... unlike, say, the existence of funny female comedians and many sections of the Old Testament.)

(I'm going to stop now.)

So if their sport is bogus, what are professional wrestlers? Athletes? Actors? I've seen them described as stunt men. I prefer to think of them as dancers with occasional monologues — half the time, they tell a story with actions rather than words, and the other half they spend trying to get you to emotionally invest in their character through bellowing taunts and rambling rants.

Wrestling is stereotypically linked with having to cater to the lowest common denominator — the scantily-clad women wrestling in lingerie doesn't exactly provide a stellar counterpoint — but in reality it's no different than any other serialized fiction on television. Its success depends on scriptwriting that maintains interest in plotlines from week-to-week, while also pressing the requisite hot buttons to have guys cheering while sitting on their couches. Its success depends on performers who are able to tell that story in and out of the ring, no matter what their predetermined role was in a given week.

To that end, The Rock may be the greatest actor of our generation.

He used to claim to his WWE persona was his own, with "the volume turned way up." Which is basically Mel Gibson in "Mad Max" or "Lethal Weapon," or any other actor praised for his "raw" intensity. In reality, The Rock was able to pull off an impressive feat unequalled by many current Hollywood actors: he was as compelling as a villain as he was a hero.

I'm not talking about being an anti-hero here. That's easy. That's Jack Nicholson in "Batman" easy. Tom Cruise was praised for his turn in "Collateral," but I never found myself actually rooting against him. I'm talking about making people loathe you, which they did at first when The Rock turned heel and joined a WWE version of the Nation of Islam (don't ask). Gradually, his role changed from the guy you hate to love to the guy you love to hate to a flat-out fan favorite. Wrestling used to be made of "heels" and "faces"; The Rock helped usher in an era of shades of gray, simply because the fans reacted to his performances with such passion.

He never won an Emmy, because I'm pretty sure the Academy would have to disband if a professional wrestler ever received as much as a nomination, no matter how much better Ric Flair is than that hack Kiefer Sutherland. But The Rock might have deserved to win one — the performances he created in the WWE were nothing less than revolutionary, and he managed to pull them off without a second take from the director.

In fact, The Rock's greatest virtue as an actor might be his ability to work a live room, without a net. There's something electric about it that doesn't translate to film — like a stage actor whose move to the screen eliminates a certain ferocity in his performance.

The other major issue with his movie career has been an inability for film makers to play to his strengths. That's different than playing to his strength, like in the "Mummy" films and "Walking Tall." It's using his charisma, using his natural swagger, using his ability to outshine anyone in his orbit. Forget the hackneyed sports movies — The Rock would absolutely kill as the rival lover in a romantic comedy. He'd kill as the mark in a con artist movie. The only film to attempt something like this was "Be Cool," and whatever success he had was swallowed up by the cesspool in that John Travolta suckfest.

Then again, maybe it doesn't get any better than professional wrestling for Dwayne Johnson. He's like Eddie Murphy — sure, there have been some great movies and some not-as-great movies (and something called "The Adventures of Pluto Nash,") but has he ever been better than he was on "Saturday Night Live?" Not by a long-shot. Actors will always thrive in situations that accentuate their talents.

For The Rock, his greatest acting may have been done under the lights at WrestleMania or SummerSlam. It's a shame that because of the medium, those performances will never truly be appreciated outside of the wrestling community. He's never going to be that good again.

Or perhaps I'm just a jabroni who needs to know his role and shut his mouth. If you smell what The Rock is cooking...

Greg Wyshynski is the Features Editor for SportsFan Magazine in Washington, DC, and the Senior Sports Editor for The Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. His book is "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History." His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 11:18 PM | Comments (0)

Jeter, Ortiz Win Primaries, Face Off in Nov.

This week marked the last major showdown on America's political front until November's general elections, with primaries held in nine states, the District of Columbia, and ... the American League.

That's right. The team sport that is more concerned with the accomplishments of the individual — be they hitting streaks, career homers, or Hall of Fame qualifications — than either golf, tennis, or even auto racing, is already preoccupied with potential winners of its most coveted honor: league MVP. And, while the electorate's message was generally mixed at polls throughout the country this past Tuesday — with party hardliners and moderates each boasting a share of victory — voters were decisively pro-big market in their MVP selections.

Among Positional Players, front-running Derek Jeter capitalized on the growing momentum built by New York's second-half surge. The Yankees shortstop convincingly earned his party's nomination on Sunday after hitting in his 20th straight game. His win brings closure to a race that was hotly-contested for most of the season. Pollsters put both Twins catcher Joe Mauer and first baseman Justin Morneau, as well as White Sox outfielder Jermaine Dye, in the lead at various times during the summer. Mauer in fact led Jeter by five points (.348 to .343) going into the booth this weekend.

For Positional Players, hopes are high that Jeter's victory will restore stability to a party embroiled in controversy since last November. That's when Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez narrowly edged David Ortiz, the Designated Hitter candidate, in an Election Day victory oft challenged throughout the off-season and into the 2006 campaign.

Perhaps succumbing to the contentiousness, the incumbent Rodriguez did not seek reelection this year, citing a desire to spend more time with his bat and glove. His decision reportedly relieved party leaders, who regarded A-Rod's sub-.300 average and 23 errors as a deterrent in endorsing him for a third time. Jeter's rise has been particularly well-received in light of the potentially disastrous fallout of Rodriguez's lame-duck season.

In the Designated Hitters camp, last weekend's primary was more a contest of survival, as big-market slugger and endorsed candidate David Ortiz of Boston held off rivals Jim Thome of Chicago and Travis Hafner of Cleveland. Ortiz returned from heart palpitations in time to retain his leads in both AL home runs (48) and RBI (127). And, although his Red Sox have been in a post-all-star freefall, so too have the White Sox and Indians, thus neutralizing any political advantage that would have inured to his rivals under an available "contenders" platform.

Now, in the absence of a strong Pitchers candidate, the American League Most Valuable Player Award will be a traditional two-party campaign leading into the first week of November, pitting Positional Player candidate Derek Jeter against Designated Hitter candidate David Ortiz.

Even before the hot tubs were fired up after Sunday's games, the two candidates fired opening salvos in the first of a series of unannounced debates. Each contrasted his own credentials to those of his opponent in a collocated, media intervention forum sponsored by the Boston Globe that has become a favorite among baseball's electorate.

Ortiz drew the long straw and the Boston slugger, energized by his 48th homer earlier in the day, was not shy in his introductory remarks.

"I'll tell you one thing," he addressed mediator Gordon Edes of the Globe, "if I get 50 home runs and 10 more RBI, that's going to be a round number that no one else in the American League will have."

Jeter, dressed in his trademark pinstriped suit, could only shrug from the locker room at Camden Yards, where he had also homered on Sunday, but for only the 13th time.

"Jeter is not a 40-homer hitter or an RBI guy," he continued. "The guy who hits 40 home runs and knocks in 100, that's the guy you know helped your team win games."

"We're thinking about winning a division," Jeter rebutted. "We've still got something to play for."

Ortiz appeared to stiffen. "They give it to Alex one year, even though his team was in last place, so now they can't play that BS anymore, just because your team didn't make it."

Jeter seemed unfazed. "No one here's focused on individual awards."

"Top to bottom, you've got a guy who can hurt you [in the Yankee lineup]," the determined Ortiz pressed. "Come hit in this lineup. See how good you can be."

"I don't have to hit in his lineup," was Jeter's only response.

After the heated exchange, both candidates took a moment to offer closing remarks. Ortiz was again first.

"I don't worry about the MVP."

"I'm not thinking about the MVP right now," Jeter agreed.

In their post-debate dissection, talking heads were quick to render a decision in favor of Jeter, whose calm demeanor they said came across to viewers more positively than Ortiz's attacking style.

"That rant may have just cost him the award," commented Jim Rome during his Rome is Burning segment aired on ESPN the next day.

Even the perpetually neutral Johnny Damon found broke with his longtime Boston friend. "I can't believe he would say something like that," he said in reference to Ortiz. Then, addressing Jeter's performance, "I'm going to choose my teammate, bottom line. I've seen the value of him here."

Voters better brace themselves for an autumn of mudslinging to come. Because, although September's here, November is far behind.

Posted by Bob Ekstrom at 10:49 PM | Comments (0)

September 15, 2006

The Team Nobody Wants to Play

Two Octobers ago, the Boston Red Sox allegedly broke a "curse" and won their first World Series title in a million years. Last October, the Chicago White Sox won their first title in a million and one years. These were treated as great stories and to the fans of these respective franchises, surely they were.

Were they really "feel-good" stories, though? The Boston payroll is second only to the New York Yankees, year-in and year-out. The White Sox play in one of the biggest media markets in the country and have a payroll to match. Let's be honest, these teams aren't really underdogs — they're underachievers.

The two Florida title teams could have qualified for "feel-good" status had the Marlins not held fire sales within two years after each of their championships. Many regard the 2001 Arizona Diamondbacks as the feel-good story of the recent past for winning a championship only a few years after joining Major League Baseball, but if anything, the D-Backs were an example of what was wrong with baseball. On the bright side, this is a good place to begin explaining why the Minnesota Twins have the potential to be one of the biggest "feel-good" stories in baseball history and the best team in baseball this year.

It was almost five years ago when the Diamondbacks beat the Yankees in thrilling fashion to take home the franchise's first and only championship. The Diamondbacks were celebrated as what was right with baseball. They were the expansion team that slew the giant Yankees machine.

Just a short time later, Major League Baseball announced its intention to contract two baseball teams. It was almost a foregone conclusion that one of teams would be the Minnesota Twins. The Twins were beloved in Minnesota — they brought the region its only professional sports championships in recent memory by winning the World Series in 1987 and 1991.

As baseball's financial landscape changed, however, the small-market Twins were left in the dark. The players that brought the Twins to the top either left through free agency or retired with the exception of a few who were traded because they were no longer affordable. The once-boisterous Metrodome crowd was now sparse and silent. Major League Baseball felt the Twins were no longer able to compete in this new era of baseball and were part of the problem baseball needed to fix.

The problem, however, was teams like the Diamondbacks. MLB had too many teams, yet it continued to expand with teams in Phoenix and Tampa Bay. While the Devil Rays were already a huge failure in Tampa Bay and have remained so to this day, the Diamondbacks were the "success" story. The fundamental problem was that Major League Baseball had lent the Diamondbacks large sums of money, money that would be used to pay the likes of Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling, two primary reasons the Diamondbacks won it all that year.

In essence, baseball was ready to sacrifice a team with one of the most dedicated fan bases, a team that had served as an example of grittiness, fun, and hustle through its recent history for two teams without traditional fan bases that should never have been established if baseball was in such dire straits. Even worse, baseball was ready to bankroll the newer teams if need be while ignoring "problems" like the Twins.

After a court order made it so the Twins would have to honor their commitment to the Metrodome for the 2002 season, the sad-sack Twins did the improbable and won their division. The Twins were definitely not the most talented team in the league, but they were gritty, they had fun, and they played hard. Most of them had come up through the minors together and because of it, the team had great chemistry. This was the Minnesota Twins' way. It had worked in the past and it was working again.

The Twins even won a playoff series that year against Oakland. By the time the year ended, any realistic talk of contraction had ended, as well. The Twins won two more division titles in a row, but failed to advance past the first round either year. Still, the Twins were hailed as baseball's "feel-good" story and they were — to a point. The lovable Twins had staved off contraction and had shown they could compete. That's a pretty good ending, but it's not ideal. In a storybook ending, the hero doesn't compete for the girl, he gets the girl.

This year, the Minnesota Twins have a chance to do a number of things. They can prove that they are the epitome of an exceptionally well-run small-market team, not the "Moneyball" Oakland A's. They can further prove a point to those in Major League Baseball who would have had them gone five years ago. They can bring a championship back to the state of Minnesota for the first time in 15 years and by finally "getting the girl" — the Minnesota Twins can write the final chapter of one of baseball's most remarkable stories.

Now all they have to do to accomplish these things is win the World Series — and that may not be as far-fetched as it seems.

In baseball, good pitching and defense win in the postseason. It also helps to have good hitting and speed. How about the intangibles, such as leadership and heart? Sure. Some of the contenders boast most of these qualities, but only the Minnesota Twins, however, have all of the bases covered, so to speak.

Good pitching? How about the best pitcher in baseball, Johan Santana? ESPN's Buster Olney thinks this guy is so good he should be league MVP. Let's see, he's leading baseball's pitching triple crown categories of wins, strikeouts, and ERA. That's all of baseball, by the way, not just the American League, and he could be the first to achieve such a feat in over 20 years. He's personally 9-0 since the All-Star Break and the Twins won both of his no-decisions since the break, as well. As a matter of fact, the Twins have won all of Santana's no-decisions on the year.

You want more pitching? How about Francisco Liriano? Let's not forget that Liriano was even better than Santana when he went down with an injury in August. He was better than Santana! Minnesota catcher Joe Mauer said Liriano had nastier stuff than Santana and White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski, a former teammate of Santana and a guy who was traded for Liriano, confirmed these sentiments to none other than Johan Santana, himself, at the All-Star Game.

Opposing hitters had the highest swing and miss ratio against Liriano by far over any other pitcher. When he went down in August, his ERA was a miniscule 2.19 and he had struck out 142 batters in 119 innings. As a matter of fact, he was the Cy Young and Rookie of the Year front-runner at the time of his injury. Fortunately for Minnesota and unfortunately for the rest of the league, Liriano is scheduled to come back very soon (as of this writing).

Now in a short series with rest days, the Twins could, in theory, start both of these guys at least twice. Considering that these guys have been virtually untouchable throughout the season, it would be considered an accomplishment for the opposition to saddle them with even one loss combined. In a five-game series, that's good enough for a Minnesota series victory. In a seven-game series, that only puts them one victory away. Minnesota has enough talent in its rotation to assume that someone else could pick up one additional win.

Carlos Silva has underachieved this year, but has been better-than-average the last two years and has shown positive signs the last few weeks. Brad Radke has been the rock, the model of consistency over the last 10 or so years. He was a 20-game winner when the team was awful and he was the number one starter when the team returned to respectability. Yes, he's hurt right now, but he pitched hurt all year. Considering he aims to retire after this year, I wouldn't bet against him pitching come playoff time and pitching well. He's done it all year, hasn't he?

Matt Garza has had an up-and-down major league experience so far, but his experience has been very brief. He was just recently named the USA Today Minor League Player of the Year. Yes, player — not pitcher. Although he's been roughed up a little, he has the talent to shut down anybody at anytime. Boof Bonser has also been somewhat of a find. He's gone 5-5 with a 4.50 ERA, but he's been an integral component of this team down the stretch, getting big wins at crucial times.

Look, all of these guys don't have to be Liriano and Santana. As a matter of fact, with Santana and Liriano, it's possible that none of these guys will be needed at all. For Twins fans, however, it should be comforting to note that there are many viable options if all that is required is one or two wins.

The bullpen is right up there with the starters. The Twins' bullpen is the best in baseball. Its 3.07 ERA leads all of baseball. The bullpen consists of set-up guys who were once closers in the minor leagues or who have closer stuff. Jesse Crain struggled early, but now sports a 3.84 ERA that is better than it looks. Juan Rincon has been his usual reliable self with a 2.97 ERA, and Pat Neshek, the newest find, is a side-armer with a funky delivery and a 2.15 ERA.

The lone left-hander is Dennys Reyes, a journeyman starter and long-reliever, who has found a home in Minnesota as a lefty specialist. He's been almost unhittable in Minnesota with a 1.04 ERA and recently had a streak of over 21 scoreless innings broken. With so many weapons on the pitching staff, it seems almost unfair that Minnesota's closer is Joe Nathan, the most dominant closer in baseball. Sorry, Mariano Rivera, but it's true. Just look at the numbers. Nathan is 6-0 with 31 saves and a 1.82 ERA. He's only blown two saves all year.

The pitching staff, as a whole, has issued the fewest walks in the league and struck out the most batters in the league, as well — both on the year and after the All-Star Break. Since the All-Star Break, the staff leads the league in batting average against at .250 and ERA at 3.65. The closest competitor in ERA since the break is Oakland with a 3.97 ERA. So, if pitching is what wins in the postseason, then Minnesota is the front-runner.

The Twins' strength is their pitching, but they've made some noise offensively, as well. White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen dubbed the top and the bottom of Minnesota's order the "piranhas." He meant it as a compliment and the "piranhas" have embraced it. Guillen believes it's players like the "piranhas," Luis Castillo, Nick Punto, Jason Tyner, and Jason Bartlett, that frustrate the opposition. These are the scrappers, the guys that are getting by with more than just pure talent.

The "piranhas" are relentless, not allowing the opposition to rest. According to Guillen, they just nip and nip at you until the skin is gone. You know, like, well, piranhas. They take the extra base, lay down the perfect bunt, steal a key base, or make a great defensive play. These types of players can always be found on Minnesota rosters. These are the types of players Minnesota has been able to afford in the past in place of the middle-of the-order types. What sets this year's version of the Minnesota Twins apart from previous Twins clubs is that these Twins actually have very legitimate middle-of the-order type hitters in addition to the "piranhas."

Since this is a "feel-good" story, let's add some more good feeling stuff. Joe Mauer is Minnesota born and bred and the Twins were his favorite team growing up. He is a former all-state basketball player and was named player of the year in both baseball and football his senior in high school. By the way, that's national player of the year in both sports. It's said that he dates Miss USA 2005 and is unfailingly nice and polite.

The Twins took him with the first overall pick in the 2001 amateur draft over pitcher Mark Prior, who many considered one of the best prospects in years. Many speculated that the Twins drafted Mauer over Prior for what else, but monetary considerations. Ironically, just a few months after drafting the hometown boy, his favorite team and the organization he was now a part of was being considered for elimination from MLB.

Now, just over five years out of high school, Mauer has seen the talk of contraction come and go and he is one of the main reasons the talk has never resurfaced. Mauer, still only 23-years-old, is the Twins' third-place hitter and leads the majors in hitting with a .350 batting average. If he holds on to the lead, he will be the first American League catcher in history to win a batting title and the first catcher overall to win one in over 60 years. Mauer is also third in the league in on-base percentage.

One of Mauer's most telling stats, however, is his .465 batting average with runners in scoring position and two outs. In other words, when it's time to be clutch, Mauer hits .465. That's unreal, but it's a trend that one can see throughout the middle of the order.

Take Mauer's roommate, Justin Morneau. He won't be, but should be, the American League MVP. He is tied with teammate Michael Cuddyer for the league lead in RBI with runners in scoring position and two outs with 37. Considering the Twins have 42 come-from-behind victories, these stats with runners in scoring position and two outs for Mauer, Cuddyer, and Morneau, are more than just fodder.

Justin Morneau is in the American League top-10 in batting average (sixth), home runs (ninth), and RBI (second). He leads the league in batting average since June 1st with a mark hovering above .350. The biggest case, however, one can make for Morneau being the MVP is that it seems that his personal success has coincided with the team's rise.

Consider this: on June 1st, the Twins were a very subpar 24-29. Justin Morneau was hitting .240 with 10 home runs and 36 RBI. Since that time, Morneau has hit 23 home runs with 82 RBI while batting over .350. The Twins have gone 60-30 during that time period. I challenge anyone to find a comparable statistic for another MVP candidate. Morneau has great individual stats and it seems that there is some sort of correlation between his personal success and the success of the team.

In addition to the two lefties, the Twins boast two very effective righty bats, as well. These bats belong to the aforementioned Cuddyer and the Twins' leader and defensive mastermind, Torii Hunter. Cuddyer, a former top prospect, is finally beginning to show why so many thought he could be a superstar. He's got 22 homers and 98 RBI, that's one more RBI than Jim Thome. As mentioned earlier, he excels when runners are in scoring position and there are two outs. Cuddyer also has 37 doubles and 5 triples. Torii Hunter has 24 home runs and 77 RBI while batting .273. Both of these guys missed time during the year due to injury. If they hadn't, these numbers would potentially be even more impressive.

Although there is no Rickey Henderson on this team, almost everyone in the lineup except for Morneau possesses good to better-than-average speed for his respective position. So, even though the Twins don't have guys that can steal 50 bases, they have a lineup that can run and is aggressive at doing so. Even Joe Mauer, the catcher, has 8 steals this year. This overall speed also helps in taking extra bases, bunting, scoring on sacrifices, and stretching singles into doubles, and doubles into triples.

At this point, it's pretty clear that the Twins have pitching, speed, and hitting. They also play very good defense and have the intangibles.

The Twins are tied for second in the AL in fielding percentage at .986, a very good mark. Boston is in first place, but these stats can be deceiving. Although the Red Sox make most of the plays they're supposed to make, they lack the range of the Minnesota Twins. Minnesota also makes the plays it's supposed to make, but because of its overall team speed and consistent commitment to defense over the years, its defense is more effective than Boston's.

Torii Hunter, a Gold-Glover many times over, has made an art form out of taking away home runs and Joe Mauer has established himself as one of the best defensive catchers in all of baseball. Luis Castillo is also a former Gold Glove winner and Michael Cuddyer has only made four errors in right field, his first year playing that position full-time, and is second in the league in outfield assists. The rest of the defense is solid, though not spectacular, but gets the job done.

Finally, the Twins have the intangibles. They are the best home team in baseball. Their road record is a little misleading. The Twins are 35-36 on the road this year. Any team that overlooks them in this regard, however, is in for a rude awakening. The Twins were 8-20 on the road on June 1st. Since that time, they are 27-16. They have done a lot of growing up over the year. Moreover, they've got the grit that teams feed off in the postseason, like the Angels with David Eckstein a few years back.

The Twins also have leadership coming out of all corners. Santana is a leader on the pitching staff and the entire team feeds off the way he puts his team on his back down the stretch run every year. Torii Hunter and Brad Radke have been with the Twins since the Twins were horrible. They were key in getting the Twins to the next level a few years ago and remain leaders and key cogs with this year's Minnesota ballclub.

Cuddyer has emerged as the team's fiery leader. He can always be seen pumping his fist or yelling words of encouragement to his teammates, a la Derek Jeter. Joe Mauer, at 23, has actually helped the development of his roommates, Jason Bartlett and Justin Morneau, although he's younger than both of them. Also, starting pitchers have an ERA of 3.99 when he's behind the plate, third best in the AL.

On the bench and sometimes starting, wily veterans like Rondell White, Phil Nevin, and Mike Redmond have also taken on leadership roles. As a matter of fact, if you're watching a Twins game and see a bunch of fired up Minnesota guys tapping their noses, know that these taps are in reference to Redmond's constant reminders to his teammates to "smell those RBI."

Of course, management cannot be overlooked. The Minnesota front office has always done a masterful job of acquiring under-the-radar talent, as the presence of Liriano, Santana, and Nathan can attest to. Minnesota General Manager Terry Ryan is generally regarded as one of the best in the business for making due with fewer resources and for getting his manager, Ron Gardenhire, the type of players he likes to utilize.

The Twins have an outstanding scouting department and an outstanding minor league system, as well. Gardenhire himself is a true leader and an underrated field general. He possesses the same fire in his belly that his players have. His players definitely follow his lead. If a manager could be scrappy, Gardenhire would be at the top of the list.

In the end, the Twins can complete what really amounts to a "feel-good" story this year by winning the World Series. In my opinion, not only can they do it, but they have as good a shot or better than anybody. This is a team that is unmatched in starting pitching and relief pitching. The offense can hold its own with its combination of scrappiness, clutch-hitting, and overall good play. The defense is one of the best, if not the best, in the league. Finally, the Twins have leadership in many different places and a team chemistry that cannot be overlooked.

Due to the team's slow start, many pundits and media talking heads have ignored them or dismissed them. You can bet, however, that their potential playoff opponents have not. I mean, who wants to face a team that's won two out of every three games since June 1st (60-30), a team that has shown it can win at home and on the road, a team that is extremely talented in every facet, yet still plays the game with as much hustle, heart, and determination as if it were a team of guys fighting for a final roster spot? Nobody.

That's just it. Why are the Minnesota Twins a candidate for "feel-good" story for the ages? Because they've gone from the team that nobody wanted around to the team that nobody wants to play. Now, all they have to do is "get the girl" and the story is complete.

Posted by Kiarash Banisadre at 6:15 PM | Comments (2)

The Crossover: Hip-Hop and Sports

With hip-hop's influence in sports continuing to grow each year, I decided to sit down with one of rap's preeminent groups to examine the relationship between the two.

The trio of Big Pooh, 9th Wonder, and Phonte met while students at North Carolina Central University and fused to create one of hip-hop's most original and thought-provoking acts in Little Brother. Their first LP, The Listening, was hailed as a classic in the "underground" hip-hop world and moved 35,000+ units, pretty damn good without the backing of a major label.

Last year, they released their highly anticipated follow-up, The Minstrel Show, on Atlantic Records, which was one of the most critically acclaimed hip-hop albums of 2005. We were able to sit down with the members of LB, and found out they have a love for sports as much as they do for music.

What's the meaning behind the name Little Brother?

Big Pooh: The name Little Brother, it's just paying homage to all the groups that we grew up listening to. EPMD, A Tribe Called Quest, Geto Boys, NWA, all those groups that made the dope albums we grew up with. The name is just a way to pay homage to them, saying we're their little brothers following in their footsteps and making dope records.

What records influenced you the most growing up?

Big Pooh: Man, as far as influenced me towards wanting to rhyme? Probably Nas' Illmatic and a lot of EPMD.

9th Wonder: EPMD, and The Great Adventures of Slick Rick.

What were some of your favorite pieces of literature?

9th Wonder: I'm a children's book type of dude, so I like Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein. Keep it connected to childhood.

Phonte: American Tabloid by James Elroy, also Animal Farm by George Orwell.

Can you talk about the frustration with BET and other outlets playing mostly only certain kinds of rap videos? (Note: BET decided not to air Little Brother's first video for "Lovin' It" because it was "too intelligent.")

Big Pooh: S**t, I get frustrated they ain't playing my video! I mean it's frustrating, but it's part of the game, ain't nothing we can do about it really. Once you realize the music business has got a lot of politics to it, the faster you realize that, the easier it will be for you to move on from that situation instead of dwelling on it, because when you end up dwelling on it, it stops you from doin' other s**t.

When Jay-Z said, "all blacks got is sports and entertainment," do you think that statement holds true?

Big Pooh: I mean it's not all we got...

9th Wonder: It's the easiest way out, though.

Big Pooh: It is the easiest way out. When people be like, "I gotta get out of my bad situation," whether they in the hood, living in poverty, or whatever, they think of one or two things, either music or playing ball. That's not the only way out, but that's the first thing people think about.

What advice would you give to kids then? Would you pass on words of encouragement or maybe try to open their eyes that there's other options out there, as well?

Big Pooh: I'd do both, the one thing you gotta let 'em know, if you don't genuinely love something whether that's playing sports or doing music, you shouldn't get involved in either one of them. Cause the times like with BET not playing our video for instance, because I genuinely love the music, even though it frustrates me, I won't let it stop me. If you ain't got no love for it, something like that could end up stopping you and then you gotta go reroute your whole plan of focus. I tell them if you genuinely love it, then go for it, but if you don't genuinely love it, there's other options available for you. You could be a lawyer, you could be a doctor, a pharmaceutical technician, you can be a whole lot of other things, it ain't just sports and music.

Why do you think there is such a close relationship between rappers wanting to be athletes and athletes infatuation with trying to be rappers, as well?

9th Wonder: I think they understand the drive of each and now just the fact that hip-hop and rap has merged so much ... it used to be back in the '80s where if a player had to sit out on the sideline, you had to wear a suit, but now a player who sits out, he's got the chain, he's got the fitted on.

Phonte: They look like rappers.

Your thoughts on kids getting drafted out of high school?

9th Wonder: My whole thing about kids coming out of high school, I still lean over to the side of, if you can send a kid overseas to get shot up for his country, they shouldn't try to deny that man to make millions of dollars if he has his chance. He's ready to die for his country, but he's not ready to dribble a basketball up and down a court because he makes millions of dollars? I don't agree with that, ready or not ready.

Who are some of your favorite teams?

9th Wonder: The mighty Chicago Bulls.

Big Pooh: Bulls, Redskins, Orioles.

Could you describe the sports scene in North Carolina?

Big Pooh: That's crazy.

9th Wonder: Oh, there's nothing like it, I mean Duke and Carolina are nine miles apart. Other than Michigan/Ohio State, Boston Red Sox and New York, Duke and Carolina is probably one of the biggest rivalries in sports, period.

Who's side do you take?

9th Wonder: Duke!

I'm going to name some athletes and you say what you think about them or what they mean to you:

Tiger Woods

9th Wonder: I think he loses on purpose sometimes.

LeBron James

Big Pooh: He could be the greatest ... once he finds a consistent jump shot.

Allen Iverson

9th Wonder: I am so amazed that he's so small and can do so much.

Big Pooh: One of the toughest guys to ever play the game of basketball.

9th Wonder: He's got the biggest heart in the game of basketball...

Big Pooh: Besides Kevin Garnett.

Ron Artest

Big Pooh: Wild man, he's very talented, but he's wild as hell.

Phonte: Stop rappin'! (laughter)

9th Wonder: (joking) Get your priorities in order, play ball!

Big Pooh: (laughing) But you can't deny his basketball prowess.

Arthur Ashe

9th Wonder: A pioneer man, really paved the way for others. I think him playing tennis and breaking barriers in tennis allows us to sit up here in some way shape or form.

Jackie Robinson

Big Pooh: He's a pioneer, as well. He went through a lot to play the game of baseball, a whole lot of bulls**t just to play ball.

You saw last year how teams like Saints and Hornets rallied the city of New Orleans. Why is it that things like sports and rap inspire people in times of need?

Phonte: People like stories, they like stories of success, they like to see people overcome adversity and move on to higher heights.

Big Pooh: And it's a distraction from what's actually going on in their life at the time, it takes them to another place. Like watching a football game it takes you away for that 2-3 hours that the game is on, so you can actually enjoy life for that 2-3 hours and that's why people take to it, especially sports.

What are some of your favorite sports moments?

Phonte: I'm not a big sports dude, but Michael Jordan hitting the winning jump shot against Utah.

Big Pooh: Giving Byron Russell the good push (laughter).

Phonte: That's a storybook ending man to a career. You can't recreate that s**t!

Big Pooh: For me, it was probably Doug Williams. When Doug Williams put up 42 on the Denver Broncos in the 1987 Super Bowl.

9th Wonder: When Mike hit 69 on Craig Ehlo.

Big Pooh: What about when he hit 55 on Starks?

9th Wonder: Yeah, I take that back, when the Bulls came back and he dropped 55 on Starks.

Phonte: What about when Pete Chilcutt came up in that m*ther f**ker?

(laughter) ... What about Alaa Abdelnaby? (laughter) ... Y'all got your heroes, I got my heroes. I vote for the underdog!

With football season approaching, who are some of the players you like to watch?

9th Wonder: [Mike] Vick, man!

Big Pooh: I like Vick, I like watching Terrell Owens cause I know he's gonna give me a show every time he step on the field and when he comes off.

Phonte (to 9th Wonder): Does your boy still play fullback?

9th Wonder: Mike Alstott?

Phonte: Yeah! I have a soft spot for fullbacks and Alstott was pretty too (laughter). I'll f**k with Alstott.

One of the big issues over the past few years is there has been seemingly no black coaches at major Division I schools. Do you think there is another reason behind that or it is their credentials just aren't good enough?

Big Pooh: Man, coaching is like a fraternity. They'll recycle a bad white coach before they hire a new black coach. That's like Ty Willingham graduating all his players, he had that one bad season and 'cause Notre Dame has those tough recruiting requirements, they let my man go. He actually had a winning season, but they fired him. If that didn't show you how tight the fraternity is ... that should've showed you out of anything.

9th Wonder: You gotta look at it, man, all these schools, these division I-A schools were founded in the 1800s. That's a long line of money and tradition you're dealing with. And to end up to put in the hands of somebody black or any other minority other than white, you know the people controlling that old money ain't with that.

If you were able to change one thing in the sporting culture in America, what would it be?

9th Wonder: Let college people get paid, man, let them get their money.

Big Pooh: Colleges make millions and millions and millions of dollars and a n**ga can't get a dollar? The college athlete's out there makin' the money, they the reason why money is bein' made...

9th Wonder: And he'll get in trouble if the coach buys him a burger.

Big Pooh: That s**t is ridiculous man, they need to get something.

Posted by Seth Berkman at 9:26 AM | Comments (0)

September 14, 2006

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 2

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Buffalo @ Miami

Daunte Culpepper's knee certainly looked okay against the Steelers last Thursday, but his vision seemed to be a little off. Culpepper threw two interceptions, and threw two other passes that were nearly picked off by the Steelers. Apparently, Culpepper has trouble identifying big hitting safeties of Samoan descent who have more hair than the rest of the league combined.

"I think Daunte just held on to the ball too long on occasion," says Miami head coach Nick Saban. "It's the same problem I have with the red challenge flag — I don't know when to toss the darn thing. But, according to the league, when I want to challenge, I have the right to run on the field and toss it at the referee. Now, answer me this, NFL: if I have to do that, would it be okay to throw it a kick to the shin or a clothesline to aid in gaining the refs' attention?"

The Bills hung tough with the Patriots, eventually losing 19-17 when J.P. Losman was sacked in the end zone. It was basically Losman's only mistake in a mostly efficient effort in which he was 15-of-23 for 164 yards.

"Sure, that was his only mistake," says Buffalo head coach Dick Jauron, "but it was a huge one. That's like saying your only mistake during your driver's license road test was hitting a pedestrian."

Miami avoids an 0-2 hole with a 21-17 win. Culpepper throws a fourth-quarter touchdown pass to Chris Chambers for the winning score.

Carolina @ Minnesota

How much does Steve Smith mean to the Panthers?

"Ah, about $2.5 million a year," answers Carolina head coach John Fox. "I'd give him $5 million a year if he could block John Abraham."

For the second year in a row, the Panthers dropped a home season-opener to an NFC South division rival. Last year, they lost to the Saints; this year, Atlanta spanked Carolina 20-6. The Carolina offensive line was no match for Abraham, who sacked Jake Delhomme twice and pressured him on numerous other occasions.

"The blocking of our offensive line leaves a lot to be desired," says Delhomme, furiously massaging the aching hamstrings of his injured go-to man Smith. "I think Abraham had more trouble with blocking dummies in training camp than he did with our line."

The Vikings grabbed an all important road win in Washington with a 19-16 win over the Redskins. Brad Childress, in his first game as a head coach, toppled three-time Super Bowl champion Joe Gibbs.

"In Joe's defense," says Childress, "he had a lot on his mind, what with Tony Stewart not making the NASCAR Chase and Tom Cruise in the luxury box with Daniel Snyder. Snyder is quite gullible in front of celebrities, and Joe was worried that Cruise might fill his head with some crazy Scientology notions. Next thing you know, Snyder's canned Joe and John Travolta's coaching the 'Skins."

That would be a nightmare, but with Snyder, nothing's impossible. Speaking of nightmares, the Panthers face the nightmarish possibility of falling to 0-2 with a loss in the Metrodome. With or without Smith, the Panthers pull out the win. Brad Johnson is no Michael Vick, although Johnson has used the name "Ron Mexico" in Internet chat rooms before. Carolina's defensive line plays the Vikings' offensive line to a stalemate, and Keyshawn Johnson gets the damn ball eight times, including a score.

Panthers win, 19-14.

Cleveland @ Cincinnati

The Bengals' season got off to a great start last Sunday as they beat the Chiefs 23-10 at Arrowhead Stadium, always a tough place for a visiting team. Carson Palmer was sacked only once, and his knee held up in his first regular season game since the injury in January.

"But, wait," says Chris "The Perpetrator" Henry, "there's more good news. The new season of Cops started and not a single Bengal was on the show. And, my lawyer has given me a quantity discount on legal fees. Ain't life grand?"

Wow, Henry used the word "grand" in a sentence. Shouldn't he follow that with "larceny?"

Meanwhile, the Browns couldn't stop Reggie Bush, and lost to the Saints in Cleveland, 19-14.

"I smell trouble," says Browns head coach Romeo Crenel. "No, wait, that's me. Against the Saints, we only needed to stop one player, and couldn't do it. Against the Bengals, we'll have to stop several, kind of like the Cincinnati Police Department, but in a football sense. Can we do it?"

No, they can't. The Bengals are pumped as 1970s funk/R&B pioneers the Ohio Players sing a tricked-out version of the national anthem, while Reds great Pete Rose throws out the first bet. Palmer throws for 275 yards and two touchdowns, one to Chad Johnson, who finally debuts a new dance he's been waiting to unveil called the "Perp Walk." Rudi Johnson rushes for 112 yards and a score.

Bengals roll, 30-16.

Detroit @ Chicago

The Lions dropped a tough 9-6 loss at home to the defending NFC champion Seahawks on Josh Brown's game-winning 42-yard kick on the game's last play. There certainly is no shame in that, but there is shame in the tale of Detroit defensive line coach Joe Cullen, who was arrested on two separate occasions. Cullen was arrested for drunken driving, and previously was cited for obscene conduct when a fast food worker reported that Cullen was naked on a trip through the drive-through.

"I apologize," says a remorseful Cullen, "and I am embarrassed beyond belief. Not necessarily for the arrests, but mainly because when I went to the drive-through pay window naked, the clerk asked if I would like it 'biggie-sized.' I was humiliated."

"That would never happen to me," says Chicago head coach Lovie Smith, whose Bears shutout the Packers 26-0 at Lambeau Field. "I make it a point to always wear, at the very least, underwear when I frequent drive-throughs, unless it's the pick-up window at the red zone district."

The Bears aren't the only defense in the NFC North. If the Lions held last year's highest scoring team to nine points, then they should hold the Bears to nothing, or less, shouldn't they? They should, but the Detroit defense can't stop the Chicago defense from scoring.

It's a defensive battle for a half, then Jon Kitna feels the heat.

Bears win, 17-11.

Houston @ Indianapolis

Peyton Manning's Colts defeated Eli's Giants 26-21 in New York on NBC's Sunday Night Football in what was probably the week's most watched game. This week's game, against the Texans, won't be seen by nearly as many. And, if you don't live in the Indianapolis or Houston area and want to see the game, then you better have the Sunday Ticket.

"That is, if you like 6'5", 230-pound quarterbacks with laser, rocket-arms," says Manning, wearing a cheesy fake mustache for some reason. "Anyway, against the Texans, we have to execute on offense, and defensively, we have to keep an eye on Reggie Bush. That guys is very dynamic, and dangerous, and..."

Uh, Peyton, Bush doesn't play for the Texans. They drafted North Carolina State defensive end Mario Williams instead of Bush.

"Those morons!" replies a disgusted Manning. "Whose making draft decisions for those clowns? The same guy that drafted Sam Bouie ahead of Michael Jordan? Dad gum! You mean, I could have seen Bush twice a year, but instead, I have to watch this Williams guy try to put a hat on me?"

The Texans held an early lead on the Eagles, but faded and eventually lost, 24-10. Thus ended their hopes for an undefeated season. But there's still hope to go undefeated in the AFC South division, at least until kickoff Sunday.

Manning throws two touchdown passes and the Colts win, 31-20.

New Orleans @ Green Bay

Rookie Reggie Bush paid immediate dividends for the Saints, with 141 total yards, as the Saints left Cleveland's Dawg Pound with a 19-10 victory. Now, the Saints head to storied Lambeau Field, where they look to win their second straight road game, this time against Brett Favre and his bag of interceptions.

"A win, and we are truly road warriors," says Bush, finalizing a purchase in which he actually used his own money to buy his parents a house. "And, speaking of 'road warriors,' did you know that the son of the professional wrestler known as Road Warrior Animal is a star linebacker for the No. 1 ranked Ohio State Buckeyes?"

"I'm aware of that, Reggie," says Favre, drowning his sorrows in a Green bay strip club, surrounded by the most talented group of dancers he's ever seen, "and I've got three words for you: 'What a rush!' But what's all the fuss about Reggie Bush? That guy can't even outrun a Diet Pepsi machine."

The Green Bay defense holds Bush in check, and Favre hits Donald Driver for a fourth quarter TD as the Packers win, 22-20.

N.Y. Giants @ Philadelphia

If Donovan McNabb missed Terrell Owens, it didn't show last Sunday, as McNabb threw for 314 yards and three touchdowns, none to Owens, in the Eagles' 24-10 win over the Texans. McNabb threw TDs to three different recievers, including new acquisition Donte Stallworth.

"Donte's no T.O.," says McNabb. "Thank God. I won't lie to you. I don't miss T.O. I do, however, miss his receiving ability. But the closest he'll get to a reception is being on the receiving end of an open-handed slap. T.O. used to be my homey, used to be my ace. Now, I want to slap the taste out his mouth."

I wonder if McNabb realizes he just quoted a rap song from Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg?

"Hey, my name is 'Donovan,'" replies McNabb. "'Donovan's' don't listen to rap."

And neither does New York's resident control freak Tom Coughlin, at least not on purpose. Coughlin was not happy with the Giants' performance in a 26-21 loss to the Colts. Ten penalties, a lost fumble, and a Jay Feely missed field goal left the hardliner flustered.

"I don't like to name names," says Coughlin, "but Jay Feely better get his act together. Otherwise, we may have to outsource his job. There are plenty of qualified kickers available. Like Ali Haji-Sheikh. Sure, I know he's over in India charming snakes, but he's still got the leg to kick."

The Giants can't let the Eagles go up two games this early in the season. Jeremy Shockey has a big game with 100 yards receiving and a touchdown. Feely kicks three extra points, then brags to Coughlin that he scored the game-winning points.

Giants win, 24-21.

Oakland @ Baltimore

Can it get any worse for the Raiders? After being shutout 27-0 on Monday night by the Chargers, Oakland must travel to Baltimore to face the Ravens, who shutout the Buccaneers on Sunday. Could the Raiders suffer two shutouts in a row?

"No way, player," says Randy Moss. "The last time the Raiders were shut out in consecutive weeks, Al Davis had just turned 80. That was two decades ago, at least. But we'll turn it around. Art Shell has brought some discipline to this team, and it's bound to pay dividends. You know, Art looks like the physical education teacher you had in middle school. You know, the grumpy, out-of-shape bastard who thought he could teach you tumbling. The guy you hated, but still did what he said. The other day, Art told me to keep my afro pick in my pocket, and not in my hair. No other coach has ever told me to do anything. Art's got guts."

Early lines have the Ravens favored anywhere from 10 to 12 points, with the over/under ranging from 34 1/2 to 37. And the over/under on Oakland points is at 1/2, and falling.

It doesn't look good for Oakland. After managing only 129 total yards and surrendering nine sacks to the Chargers, the Raiders must face a re-energized Ravens defense. The presence of rookie nose tackle Haoti Ngata has freed Ray Lewis to roam the field and make hits with surgical precision. You know he wants a shot at Moss, so, Randy, here's a few words of advice: keep the afro. You might need the extra cushion.

The Raiders go down, but not without a fight. Randy Moss takes a swing at Jerry Porter after Porter is penalized for excessive celebration when Aaron Brooks is sacked for the fifth time.

Ravens roll, 30-3.

Tampa Bay @ Atlanta

Tampa's Chris Simms suffered a painful outing against the Ravens last week, throwing for only 133 yards and three interceptions as the Bucs were shutout at home, 27-0.

"Can you fault me?" Simms replies. "I was heartbroken. My beloved Texas Longhorns got waxed by Ohio State. On top of that, Mack Brown was roaming the sidelines with a hideous cold sore. How am I supposed to pick apart the Ravens' defense with all that on my mind?"

Yeah, that was pretty disgusting. Your performance, that is. But not nearly as disgusting as hearing Warren Sapp, Chad Johnson, and Tony Gonzalez rap about NFL Replay on the NFL Network.

It took years, but Michael Vick finally scrapped the idea of calling himself a traditional quarterback and has embraced his true calling, a running quarterback who passes, with marginal results. You know, like Fran Tarkenton with twice the arm, but without about 28,000 yards passing and a gig hosting That's Incredible. Vick passed for 140 yards, but more importantly, rushed for 48 yards against the Panthers. It won't be that easy against the Bucs, who have the speed and the scheme to monitor Vick. Cadillac Williams gets in gear, rushing for a score, and Tampa Bay wins, 28-24.

Arizona @ Seattle

After defeating the 49ers last week, 34-27, the Cardinals must leave the cozy confines of the Pink Taco and head to Seattle's Qwest Stadium to face the Seahawks for a contest between undefeated NFC West foes. Edgerrin James had a solid debut as a Cardinal with 73 yards rushing and a touchdown, then later celebrated by attending church with Kurt Warner.

"Nah, I went clubbing," replies James. "My bling is not a welcome sight in a house of worship and, let's face it, I've got more gold in my mouth than the gold used by the Israelites to make that golden calf they worshipped that pissed Moses off. Moses got so mad that he became president of the National Rifle Association. That Moses guy, he's always mad at someone, whether it be the anti-gun lobby, the Egyptian King Ramses, or those damn, dirty apes."

New to the Seahawks is wide receiver Deion Branch, who was traded to Seattle by the Patriots after they refused to redo his contract.

"Is this how a Super Bowl most valuable player should be treated?" asks Branch. "Obviously, I'm not wanted in New England. I think my first order of business in Seattle is to go to the top of the Space Needle, face New England, and raise my middle finger."

"Hey, we just told Deion to go deep, very deep," says Belichick, giving Branch a cross-country throat slash gesture.

The Seahawks intercept Kurt Warner two times, and hold James to 45 yards rushing.

Seahawks win, 34-17.

St. Louis @ San Francisco

Rams kicker Jeff Wilkins nailed six field goals to account for all of the Rams' scoring in their 18-10 upset over the Broncos, which can tell you only one thing about the St. Louis offense.

"What? We have a good kicker?" replies Rams coach Scott Linehan.

Okay, two things. Your red zone touchdown percentage is zero. For a while there, I thought Wilkins was Arizona kicker Neil Rackers. But, your defense is much better. They held the Broncos to 259 total yards, and only 98 passing. But can they stop Alex Smith of the 49ers, currently fourth in the league in passing yardage.

"It's not going to be easy," says Rams corner back Corey Chavous. "What other quarterback in the league can say they matched their touchdown passes from all of last year in just one game? Not Peyton Manning, because he didn't throw for 28 TDs against the Giants last week. Only Alex Smith can make that claim. He threw for one score last week, which was exactly his season total from last year."

The Rams force Smith back to his old self — throwing interceptions. Torry Holt catches a TD pass, and Steven Jackson rushes for a score.

Rams win, 20-14.

Kansas City @ Denver

Trent Green and Jake Plummer both experienced rough outings last Sunday in losses. Green was 11-of-15 for 90 yards before taking a vicious hit from Cincinnati line Robert Geathers, while Plummer threw three interceptions, lost a fumble, and was sacked four times by the Rams.

"Hey, at least I can't remember my day," says Green, in a support group meeting with fellow concussionaires Dan Morgan and Eric Lindros. "Is it a surprise that I was hit by a Bengal? That dude must have been running from the law. I don't think he even saw me. Now, Jake, on the other hand, played like he was in last year's AFC Championship Game. And he's got full memory of that performance. If he needs a reminder, I'm sure Mike Shanahan will remind him, whether it be verbally or with a red-faced, vein-popping glare. Or, he can introduce him to Jay Cutler."

On the bright side for the Broncos, they did rush for 161 yards against the Rams. And when was the last time the Chiefs stopped a strong rushing attack, without the involvement of the effervescent Hank Stram?

This is the Broncos, at home, coming off a loss, against a division rival, who will start a new quarterback. What do you think the Broncos' game plan will be? Stop Larry Johnson and force Damon Huard to beat them? Sounds good to me.

Denver wins, 27-14.

New England @ N.Y. Jets

One game into the season, and already a huge AFC East showdown is set to take place in the Meadowlands, as Bill Belichick's Patriots visit Eric Mangini's Jets. On the line: first place in the East, and bragging rights to the title of most talented, yet most slovenly-dressed coach in the league.

"Before the season," says Jets quarterback Chad Pennington, "so many people had written us off as the worst team in the East. But look at us now. We're playing for first place in the division already. And here I am on the cover of the New York Post with a headline reading 'Armed and Dangerous.'"

The Patriots, as often is the case, always find a way to win, whether it be with a safety of J.P. Losman, as was the case last week, or when a referee makes a questionable call that favors them, then the NFL later writes a rule to justify the questionable call.

"You must be referring to the 'Tuck Rule,'" says Tom Brady. "You people won't let that die, will you? And Charles Woodson won't stop calling me. Anyway, Chad Pennington is a limp-armed candy boy, and I'll show all those maniac fans in the Meadowlands that they've got their hopes way too high already."

True to his word, Brady leads the charge, throwing for two touchdowns, one to rookie Laurence Maroney. Pennington's last ditch Hail Mary from midfield falls incomplete at the 25-yard line as time expires.

New England wins, 17-10.

Tennessee @ San Diego

The Chargers shutout the punchless Raiders 27-0 in the second game of the Monday Night Football doubleheader. The win marked a successful starting debut for second-year quarterback Philip Rivers, who was 8-of-11 for 108 yards and a touchdown.

"We wanted to ease Philip into the position," says San Diego coach Marty Schottenheimer. "We didn't want to make things too difficult for him, and neither did the Raiders apparently. But Philip passed with flying colors. Now comes the real test: surviving a ride home with Steve Foley."

Vince Young might not be too far away from starting for the Titans after Kerry Collins' 17-of-38, 223 yard, two-interception game last Sunday.

"I think his blood alcohol content was higher than his completion percentage," notes Young, adjusting the Under Armour brand skull cap on his head for maximum comfort. "Coach Fisher, give me the ball."

Vince, I really don't think you want your first NFL start to come against the Chargers, who sacked Aaron Brooks nine times last Monday. So sit back and watch Collins take the abuse.

It's not pretty. Young relieves Collins with the Titans down 24-0, then leads them on an eight-yard scoring drive.

Chargers win, 24-7.

Washington @ Dallas

Bill Parcells is concerned. At the possibility of going 0-2 and not having Terrell Owens to blame?

"No, not that," says Parcells. "I'm talking about the end of the world as we know it. The NFL's all-time leading rusher, Emmitt Smith, is appearing on Dancing With The Stars. Also on the show is talk show trash master Jerry Springer, which kind of piques my interest in the show. With Springer there, we're guaranteed to see some boobs we don't want to, a few fights, and the 'Jerry! Jerry!' chant."

"You called, Bill?" says Jerry Jones, popping his head around the corner.

As is the case every year, the Cowboys have the most unreliable kicking game in the league. Mike Vanderjagt has an injured hamstring, is still a Canadian, and is already in Parcell's doghouse. Backup kicker Shaun Suisham missed a field goal that irritated Parcells even more.

Redskins coach Joe Gibbs sees this situation as an opportunity.

"Vanderjagt and Suisham?" says Gibbs. "Sounds like a law firm. Actually, it sounds like two pansy kickers. We'll give the Cowboys all the field goal tries they want. We may not even defend them. Maybe those guys should slice off the end of their kicking shoes and kick straight on, like my man Mark Moseley did for me. Or, they could slice half their foot off, and kick it like my man Tom Dempsey did."

Unfortunately for Gibbs, it's the Washington kicking game that falters. John Hall misses a 49-yard attempt as time expires, preserving a 21-18 Cowboys win.

Pittsburgh @ Jacksonville

"Mission accomplished!" says a proud Jack Del Rio, carving a notch in his bedpost signifying his conquest of Bill Parcells, while on the other side of the bed, his wife does the same. "If Dallas makes the Super Bowl, then we're halfway to our goal of beating the two representatives in this year's Super Bowl. And, if we beat Pittsburgh and they return to the Super Bowl, then we will have done in two games what it took us an entire year to do in 2005."

Good grief, JDR, I explained this to you last week. If you beat the two representatives of the Super Bowl, that means you don't make the Super Bowl. Is that really what you want as your goal?

"Hey, don't rain on my parade," says Del Rio.

Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisberger and safety Troy Polamalu are both listed as questionable for Monday night's game in Jacksonville. And the reliability of that injury report is listed as doubtful. And Bill Cowher's jaw is listed as "prominent," while the likelihood that he will accidently spit on someone is "probable."

"What are you doing?" Cowher inquires. "Asking questions to a Magic Eight Ball?"

It is decidedly so, you fool.

If you like crippling hits and brutal physicality, then you should be watching UFC Unleashed, or you should be in jail. If you like crippling hits, brutal physicality, and football, then you should enjoy this game.

Jeff Reed's three field goals lead the Steelers to a 16-14 win.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 10:58 PM | Comments (3)

Predictions, Pictures, and Poker

I just returned from a trip to Atlantic City, and it was a vacation I would describe as "Griswoldian." I lost every cent I had earmarked for poker (mostly because of two hands where I was out-kicked by one, and two hands when someone went runner-runner on me with either all of his or all of my chips already in the middle on the flop), the comedian my wife and I got tickets for cancelled his show, we had a (non-poker-related) financial crisis, and we ended up leaving a day early.

The advantage to leaving the day we did is I figured it would afford me the opportunity to watch the second half of the Akron/North Carolina State game (longtime readers know I'm an Akron native and big fan of the Zips). Continuing with the Griswold theme, we developed car problems and I didn't get home until long after the game was over. Too bad, because the game proved to be perhaps the most important win in Akron football history, done in perhaps the most exciting fashion imaginable (a field-goal-to-tie-eschewing one-yard touchdown run on the last play of the game).

I rejoiced along with the rest of Zips Nation (you can find me there under the picture of Mr. Sandman).

But apparently, we can't just enjoy this program-bolstering victory in peace. There has to be some controversy. Namely, a picture has emerged that appears to show Akron's Dennis Kennedy's elbow hitting the turf before he crossed the plane on the winning touchdown, taken by ... well, by some guy in the stands.

Lots of thoughts on this. First, still photographs, particularly those taken by amateurs, are not reliable and it's impossible to justify their usage in deciding games. They can be photoshopped or altered (I am not suggesting in any way that this one is, don't get me wrong), and even honestly taken, developed, and untouched photographs can deceive. That's why reviews have to come from motion-picture cameras, and decided by an agreed-upon source (the booth).

That said, why on Earth, as has been widely reported, did ESPNU not have a sideline cam? I realize ESPN crew doesn't have the resources of Monday Night Football, but man, goal line cams have to be a super-high priority for any multiple-camera television game. I can't understand why it didn't make the cut here. I've watched plenty of games on ESPNU, and they have never seemed to have appreciably fewer cameras than any other broadcast.

Finally, even if the photo does indeed show what it purports to show, and Kennedy did not score ... them there is the breaks. Or to put it more kindly: over the course of years and decades, you get game-changing bad calls going your way, and you get game-changing bad calls going against you. It's just the way it is.

To any NCSU fan reading this, you have tons more resources and prestige than we most likely ever will. If there's one more bowl-eligible football team than there are bowl slots, North Carolina State will never have to worry about being the lone team passed over, but that's exactly what happened to Akron two years ago. So ... you know. Blessings, perspective, and all that. Let us have this, let us enjoy it.

Finally, as a response to NSCU coach's less-than-honorable reaction (in various ways) to this loss, I offer this pot shot: I think we can add another question to the canon of famed philosophical ponderances, like the one about a tree falling in the forest, one-hand clapping, and the chicken and the egg. Perhaps even harder than those to answer.

Who is the best college football team in North Carolina?

***

On to this week's picks. Home team in caps, my pick listed first:

Baylor (+13) over WASHINGTON STATE

I picked Baylor last time as well, against TCU in Week 1. They almost made me look good, but gave up 10 unanswered in the fourth quarter to lose by 10, and the spread was 7.5 (I went 2-3 with my picks in Week 1, by the way).

Still, Baylor hung with TCU, and the spread was pretty close to being correct. If they were playing in Fort Worth, I would expect the spread would've been about 15 or 16 ... which is nearly what it is for this game. Problem is, TCU is way better than Washington State. I'm going with Baylor yet again.

PITT (-2.5) over Michigan State

On the other hand, Washington State killed an Idaho team that Michigan State struggled with. Pitt has looked good thus far, and is at home.

Arizona State (-10) over COLORADO

This sort of feels like a trap game, a line too good to be true. But seriously, after getting decisively beaten by Montana State (who then lost to Division 2 Chadron State), and then losing to a shaky-looking Colorado State team, there's no way in hell the Buffs keep it close, even at home, with a team with some actual BCS talent, is there? Is there?

USC (-18.5) over Nebraska

I think USC established in the Arkansas game — on the road, mind you — that they are still one of college football's elites. Nebraska is not "back" and probably not too much better than Arkansas. To whatever degree they are better than Arkansas is probably mitigated by USC being at home. The Trojans are an easy pick.

Buffalo (+22.5) over NORTHERN ILLINOIS

Buffalo is coming off a strong effort, an overtime loss to MAC heavy Bowling Green. Northern Illinois laid a clunker at home against Ohio last week. It is certainly possible that Northern Illinois will come out angry and kill a Buffalo team let down by coming up just short against BG. Plus, the Bulls did need overtime to beat Temple in Week 1 after ending regulation tied with them at three (I dub it "The Worst Game in the History of College Football"). But the 22 1/2 points are too irresistible. I would go with the other four games first, though.

***

Finally, a touch of irony considering my disastrous run in Atlantic City. The day after I returned, I scored my biggest online poker accomplishment to date. I finished fourth, in a field of 100, in a tournament which awarded a ticket to a bigger tournament to the top five. Specifically, this tournament I won entry into (which costs $200 to buy into directly) will pay its winner a $10,000 dollar buy-in to the Aussie Millions Poker Championships at the Crown Casino in Melbourne, Australia, plus hotel room and spending cash.

If you have nothing to do Saturday night at 8 PM (and surely you don't), and want to wish me well or make fun of my poker suckitude, log onto ParadisePoker.com, find the tournament, look for "mreleganza" (that's me!), and watch my table. This will send good karma my way.

Posted by Kevin Beane at 10:20 PM | Comments (0)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 26

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth finished eighth in Richmond to close the regular season first in the points. The Chase begins with Kenseth on top, with a five-point lead over Jimmie Johnson in second.

"Wasn't Roush Racing supposed to put five cars in the Chase?" adds Kenseth, "Four at the very least. What happened? I think you'll hear the so-called experts claim that resources were spread too thin. Here's the deal: Carl Edwards was too busy feuding, Greg Biffle was too busy selling subs, and Jamie McMurray, well, he never had a chance."

2. Kevin Harvick — Harvick won for the third time this year, passing Kyle Busch with nearly one lap to go. Harvick starts the Chase third in the points, and is probably one of the clear favorites along with Kenseth and Johnson.

"Maybe you didn't recognize the paint scheme on my car," says Harvick. "It was the 'Barenaked Ladies' paint job. They're a band, so maybe you've heard them. They're Canadian, so maybe you haven't. Anyway, they performed before the race, to a very small crowd, which leads me to believe that NASCAR fans actually expected real barenaked ladies and not necessarily a band."

3. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson finished 23rd in Richmond, only his eighth result out of the top 10 this year. He'll start the Chase five points behind Kenseth, looking for his first Nextel Cup championship.

"Aren't I consistent?" asks Johnson. "I'm always up there with a chance to win the title. Just like last year, I looked like the early favorite, then I faded right before the final 10 races began. This year has been eerily similar to the pattern of last year. I don't want to follow in the footsteps of Dick Trickle and be known as the greatest driver never to have won a title."

4. Kyle Busch — Busch led 248 out of 400 laps in Richmond, but lost the lead to Kevin Harvick late. Still, his second-place finish moved him up one in the points, where he will start fourth, 15 points behind Kenseth.

"Hendrick Motorsports has three drivers in the Chase," says Busch. "Myself, Jimmie Johnson, and Jeff Gordon. That's more than any other team. That's one more than Roush and Richard Childress, two more than DEI, Joe Gibbs Racing, and Evernham, and three more than Penske. If you listen closely, you can here Rusty Wallace giggling.”

5. Dale Earnhardt, Jr — Earnhardt finished a lap off the lead on Saturday night, but his 17th-place finish easily placed him in the Chase to the Cup. He'll start sixth, 25 points behind Kenseth.

"Well, any momentum I had going after California is gone," says Earnhardt. "But, miraculously, even with my sorry finish in Richmond, I somehow sliced over 300 points off of Matt Kenseth's points lead. Isn't the Chase format great, except for the guy leading the points?"

6. Denny Hamlin — Hamlin will be the only rookie in the Chase, as a result of his 15th in Richmond, which was enough to give him the fifth spot in the lineup. He'll start only 20 points behind Kenseth.

"Not only am I the only rookie in the Chase," says Hamlin, "I'm also the only member of Joe Gibbs Racing in the Chase. That would be because my teammate, Tony Stewart, blew his spot with an absolutely dreadful performance. But that could work in our favor. Now, all of JGR resources can go to my run for the Cup, and Tony can run interference."

7. Mark Martin — Martin finished strong with a fifth in Richmond, and moved up two places in the points to seventh, where he will start in Loudon 30 points behind Matt Kenseth. Martin joins Kenseth and Jimmie Johnson as the only drivers to qualify for the Chase all three years.

"Boy, that's fast company," says Martin. "But obviously not fast enough. Neither of us has won a championship in the current Chase format. This is my last shot at a title, unless Jack Roush can talk me into returning for one more year, for the third time.”

8. Kasey Kahne — Kahne finalized his three-race dash to make the Chase with a third-place in Richmond, which moved him from 11th to the final Chase position, at the expense of Tony Stewart. He begins the Chase in 10th, 45 points behind Kenseth.

"I'm sure NASCAR doesn't mind sacrificing the Home Depot demographic," says Kahne, "for the pimple-faced, braces-wearing fans that will tune in knowing that I have a shot at the title. To all those fans, I say 'thanks,' although I'm sure you can't hear me because you've got your iPod earbuds jammed in your head."

9. Jeff Burton — Burton was on shaky ground until his ninth in Richmond qualified him for the Chase in the eighth spot. He started the race in the 10th points position, and will join Kyle Busch as Chase first-timers.

"Who would have ever thought that I'd be the only orange car in the Chase?” says Burton. “Tony Stewart won't win the Cup, but he will have a say in who will.”

10. Jeff Gordon — Gordon struggled to a 31st-place finish in the Chevy Rock & Roll 400, but that was good enough to get him into the Chase final field in the ninth position. The brakes on the No. 24 DuPont Chevrolet were near failure, but Gordon was able to feather the pedal enough to reach the finish.

"I don't know what the deal was with the brakes," says Gordon. "All I know is my feet were on fire there at the end. I think it's the 'Fred Fintstone Syndrome.'"

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 10:07 PM | Comments (1)

September 13, 2006

College Football Predictions: Week 3

It was Splitsville across the board last week as I went a rather pedestrian 3-3 on my selections. Weeks like this are inevitable, and while I certainly feel no shame for a .500 showing, I am in this to make money so improvement is a must in Week 3.

Last week:

1* 1-1
2* 1-1
3* 1-1

The Week 3 card is loaded with matchups pairing top-25 teams against one another. These games are awesome from a fan's perspective, but they don't always represent the best sports betting opportunities. Let's take a closer look, and remember:

1* = Gun to my head, I'd play the team listed (risky)
2* = A good chance of covering; a worthy play (fairly confident)
3* = I would be play for a large chunk of money (very confident)

LSU +3 @ Auburn, 3:30 PM, CBS

This line actually has me a little bit perplexed. I figured Auburn would open as 5-6-point favorites at home. I guess LSU must have opened some eyes with their 45-3 throttling of Arizona last week. Auburn wasn't too shabby themselves, shutting out a very limited offensively Mississippi State bunch. Although calling Mississippi State limited offensively is like calling Helen Keller limited phonetically.

There is going to be heavy action on both sides of this one. Auburn has become a very public team this year with plenty hyping them to win the whole thing, while LSU has been a popular choice for the greater part of this decade. As I said before, this line just looks too low, Auburn -3 appears to be a gift, and that is never a good thing. I don't trust Les Miles, but...

The play: LSU 1*

Michigan +7 @ Notre Dame, 3:30 PM, NBC

I called this one in advance about two months ago, so there is no question where I stand on here. For bettor or worse, Michigan is going to be one of my largest college football plays of the year.

Notre Dame beat Michigan last year by seven in Ann Arbor in a game full of Wolverine miscues. Both teams return the majority of their offensive personnel from last season, plus plenty of key players on defense. Michigan had more talent last year, and I really don't think much has changed in this regard.

Notre Dame looked good in their victory over Penn State last week but, they are facing a different, and as already mentioned, a more talented monster here. Michigan winning this one outright wouldn't surprise me, nor should it shock anyone, but we don't need an outright victory to cover, a close game will do fine. The Notre Dame hype machine is in overdrive right now, but it will probably have to downshift a gear after this weekend.

The play: Michigan 3*

Miami @ Louisville -4, 3:30 PM, ABC

I have to be careful in this spot. Louisville is my pick to win it all, and I am holding a very large futures' ticket in their name. I have an incentive to cheer them on regardless of where I stand on this game.

This will be the first contest where Louisville will truly notice the absence of Michael Bush. The Temple game doesn't quite count. The Hurricane defense is as tough as ever, and the Cardinals could have really used Bush to pick up the tough yards in short-gain situations.

Louisville will miss Bush, but Miami is the team with true offensive issues coming into this battle. They were dreadful against Florida State, and their 51-point outburst did little to relieve concerns about their passing attack as Kyle Wright attempted only 18 passes and most were of the short-yardage variety.

Seeing Miami as a four-point underdog is weird in any situation, and frankly, it seems a little bit high for a team that has a defense as tough as the one they possess. A lot of people like Miami in this one because "there is no way Miami can start 1-2," but that is the type of horribly flawed logic that leads to unprofitable gambling careers.

The play: Louisville 2*

Clemson +4 @ Florida St, 7:45 PM, ESPN

I am torn here. Normally, I'd love a team like Florida State coming off an embarrassing effort against Troy. However, there seems to be lots of people subscribing to that line of thinking this week, as Florida State is very much the public side in this one.

Clemson is coming off a tough road loss at Boston College. A game in which they lost on a missed extra point attempt in overtime, and a game which they probably should have locked up well before the extra frame.

Clemson has more at stake in this game than FSU does as Clemson is out of the ACC race with a loss. This fact has no bearing on the actual game itself, but there is no way I'd support the publicly-backed 'Noles in this one.

The play: Clemson 1*

Florida @ Tennessee +3.5, 8:00 PM, CBS

Much like the Auburn/LSU game that precedes it, this matchup will go a long way towards determining who plays in the SEC Championship Game. I had this one circled in advance much like the Michigan/ND tilt, but Tennessee's win at Cal attracted too much attention for my liking.

Tennessee did come back down to Earth last week in their narrow victory over Air Force, while the jury is still completely out on Florida until they play somebody good. Tennessee does have two key injuries on defense, but I tend to worry less about this with teams that have quality depth like Tennessee does.

The public money is behind Florida so far, although not overwhelmingly so. I'm not a huge fan of these Gators mainly because I don't think Chris Leak has done anything to earn all of the hype surrounding him. The environment should be crazy in Knoxville for the night game, and unless you can convince yourself that Florida has a good amount more talent than UT, I think you'd be crazy not to take the points.

The play: Tennessee 3*

Nebraska @ USC -18.5, 8:00 PM, ABC

I have talked to a few of my fellow sports bettors about this one, and we all have the same opinion. This number is way too high. I recognize how impressive USC looked at Arkansas in their opener, and Nebraska is yet to play anybody legitimate, but -18.5 in a game featuring two big-name schools? This one reminds me of last year's USC/UCLA tilt where USC was giving 21+.

I think Nebraska is going to have a strong year, and I am not alone in thinking this. They obviously do not possess the same overall talent or depth as USC, but they should be able to move the football significantly better than Arkansas did against this USC defense.

I use the word gift a lot in this column, and once again, Nebraska receiving 18+ looks like a gift. I am a contrarian. Whenever something looks easy or certain, I like to jump on the other side. I am not a huge fan of playing heavy chalk, but USC covering this spread wouldn't surprise me at all. Hell, I'd even bet on it.

The play: USC 2*

Please keep in mind that I am evaluating the most popular games for the purposes of this article. These games are not necessarily the best options available. You can more picks, results, and opinions on sports wagering at Ryan Hojnacki's website. This article is for entertainment purposes only. Sports wagering is not legal is most jurisdictions in the U.S. Sports Central does not encourage any individual to partake in illegal activities and holds no responsibility for actions taken as a result of this article. Check with your local laws before engaging in any wagering activities.

Posted by Ryan Hojnacki at 7:25 PM | Comments (1)

A Tale of Two Losers

And we're off!

Week 1 of the 2006 NFL season is in the books. Half the league is happy. Half the league is pissed off. Me, I fall into the latter category, with my 7-9 record against the spread. (Shut up.)

But this is not about me. This is about two teams who had much more on the line than my petty pride, and blew it far, far worse. 27-0. Tampa Bay and Oakland, both getting shut out at home, finishing up the game with backup QBs throwing to backup WRs, looking at Week 2 for some semblance of hope.

Unfortunately, the Raiders head off to face the Ravens, whose defense just made Chris Simms look like Aaron Brooks. The Bucs head north to Atlanta, who just crashed the suddenly very un-chic Panthers Super Bowl hype machine. Both teams are very likely looking 0-2 in the face, as far back in the division as one can be after two games.

But though Oakland and Tampa seem to have very much in common (broken dreams, dejected fan bases, etc.), their fates may not be as similar as you might expect.

Take a look at how each team went down in Week 1, Raiders first:

To sum it up: the offensive line was horrible (Robert Gallery, meet Tony Mandarich). The offensive play calling was terrible (when Dick Vermeil is making fun of you on national TV, you absolutely, 100% suck). And Jerry Porter laughing at his teammates' misery and completely ignoring the game was worse than any of it. (Seriously, how do they even let him in the building after that?)

Right now, I think The Rock could do a better job of coaching this team than Art Shell. The only "Black Hole" in Oakland was where Shell's heart should have been. Has any team quit on its coach faster in the history of football? I wanted to go to bed, but I couldn't. It was like watching an episode of The Anna Nicole Smith Show — ugly as ugly gets, but there's always hope for a random injury or stray boob (have you seen the women in Oakland?). I couldn't turn away.

Raiders fans, you have the worst team in the NFL, if only because you have absolutely nothing going for you (stud safety Michael Huff not withstanding). At least Tennessee has a good coach and young star QB. The Jets and Chad Pennington's shoulder appear to have turned the corner. The 49ers showed some life on offense. Cleveland has some young pieces in place. But the Raiders? Let's just say I think Brady Quinn will have his work cut out for him.

On the other hand, Tampa really only gave up one good drive — Baltimore's 14-play, 80-yard march that ate up 9:16 to begin the game. Ravens QB Steve McNair went 4-5 on the drive, hitting old/new best friend Derrick Mason three times for 9 (on 2nd-and-8), 7 (on 2nd-and-6), and 15 yards (on 3rd-and-7). Can you tell these guys have a little chemistry?

But unlike the Raiders offense, Tampa's D never quit. For the rest of the half, the Baltimore offense put together drives of -7, 9, 9, 6, 7, and 11 yards. Unfortunately, the Ravens' lead still grew from 7-0 to 17-0 after Simms' first pick was returned for a TD and his second left Baltimore on the Tampa 9 for an easy field goal.

Add another three to the Baltimore lead after a long punt return left the Ravens on the Tampa 37, and Baltimore had a 20-zip lead with a grand total of one effective offensive drive.

Tampa came back, going from their own 27 to the Baltimore 6 on eight consecutive pass plays, but instead of taking the easy three, Tampa coach John Gruden went for the gusto on fourth down. Simms' pass went incomplete, and the Bucs were done.

The good here is that the Tampa defense sucked it up and played hard throughout, despite Simms and the offense collectively crapping its pants. Gruden should have kicked the FG, if for no other reason than to avoid the risk of a momentum-killing failure on fourth-down. Take the three, and it's still a ball game with more than 20 minutes left. Go for it and fail, you tear your team's heart out.

But there's enough in Tampa to be hopeful about. Concerned, yes, but hopeful. 9-7, even 10-6, is not totally out of the question.

The Raiders? No hope whatsoever. (Except for maybe a stray boob.)

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 6:56 PM | Comments (0)

September 12, 2006

NFL Week 1 Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* Congratulations to U.S. Open champions Maria Sharapova and Roger Federer.

* Is Gerry Austin a Cowboys fan? Every close call in Alltel Stadium went Dallas' way, and after Austin overturned Brian Williams' game-clinching interception late in the fourth quarter, I was surprised he didn't try to take away Mike Peterson's pick two plays later.

* I like Peyton Manning, but how many different commercials can one man be in? I counted five.

* ESPN's pre-game show is useless. I'm sleeping in an extra hour next Sunday, and I'll just flip between CBS and FOX.

* Why did the Eagles risk Brian Westbrook's health on punt returns against a team like Houston? Returning is dangerous, and someone as valuable as Westbrook shouldn't be doing that except against division opponents and elite competition. The Texans are neither.

***

This week's most overblown story was Nick Saban's wimpy challenge flag toss. Charlie Batch's goal-line fumble notwithstanding, I don't think Miami was going to keep the Steelers out of the end zone even if Saban had thrown his flag into an official's eyeshot rather than letting it softly flutter to the ground. Pittsburgh was the better team on Thursday night, and the better team won.

Let's get right on to the power rankings, but I want to remind readers that all rankings are for right now, so a team's rank this week does not necessarily indicate how good I think they'll be for the 2006 season as a whole, just Week 2. Brackets show last week's rank.

1. Indianapolis Colts [2] — The Colts played well on Sunday night, but they didn't really play like the number one team. A club that can't run the ball or stop the run — which the Colts apparently can't — won't hold on to the top position for long. And with Edgerrin James gone, Indianapolis had to settle for way too many field goals against the Giants, though Adam Vinatieri was a decided bright spot.

2. Cincinnati Bengals [13] — The big-play defense is still there. Going up against one of the NFL's best offensive lines, Cincinnati came away with seven sacks, an interception, and a fumble recovery. The offense, missing T.J. Houshmandzadeh, was unspectacular, but effective, led by RB Rudi Johnson. The Bengals play Cleveland in Week 2, but the really intriguing matchups are Week 3 at Pittsburgh and Week 4 against New England.

3. Seattle Seahawks [3] — Based on this weekend's results, it seems like the Seahawks miss Steve Hutchinson. Seattle's running game never got going against the Lions, while Hutchinson helped lead his new team, the Vikings, to victory on Monday night in Washington. The big news here is the team's acquisition of Super Bowl XXXIX MVP Deion Branch in exchange for a first-round draft pick, but the reason Seattle holds its lofty ranking after Sunday's 9-6 escape in Detroit is the defense.

4. Jacksonville Jaguars [9] — After an atrocious first quarter in which they looked totally unprepared to play in a meaningful game, the Jaguars pulled themselves together for an impressive victory against Dallas. Second-year receiver Matt Jones had a nice game, but Jacksonville ultimately won with defense, coming up with key interceptions at the right times.

5. New England Patriots [4] — Trading Branch may be good for New England in the long term, but in the short-term, a team that should be a Super Bowl contender has a decidedly subpar receiving corps. The running tandem of Laurence Maroney and Corey Dillon was effective against Buffalo, but Tom Brady completed fewer than half of his passes, and if he continues to struggle, New England's running backs are going to see a lot of eight-man fronts.

6. Pittsburgh Steelers [14] — The guys who had to play well came up big. Troy Polamalu was all over the field, looking like an early DPOY candidate. Joey Porter made the game-clinching interception. Willie Parker rolled up over 100 yards. Hines Ward led the team in receptions. If the Steelers keep doing everything they're supposed to, I'll like their chances of having another great season. They have a huge matchup at Jacksonville on Monday night.

7. Chicago Bears [17] — There's not much to say after a 26-0 beatdown of your biggest rival, on the road in the season opener. Rex Grossman played well and the defense picked up where it left off last season. If there's a worry, it's that not every team on the schedule is as bad as Green Bay. Wait, actually it's that the running game wasn't terribly effective on Sunday, though it would be helpful if every opponent were as bad as the Packers.

8. Carolina Panthers [1] — The biggest problem last season was over-reliance on a single player, Steve Smith. Sunday, with Smith out of action because of an injury, the Panthers averaged under four yards per play and generated only six points of offense, all from long field goals. Jake Delhomme has trouble spreading the ball out, the running game hasn't taken hold the way they hoped, and Atlanta embarrassed their superb defense. It's not time to panic yet, but John Fox needs to make some changes.

9. Philadelphia Eagles [11] — The statistics say that Donovan McNabb had a great game against Houston, but he didn't look to be at the top of his game, especially in the first half. Maybe it was just the initial adjustment of being back in action, but McNabb seemed rattled when the Texans brought pressure, and his accuracy and decision-making suffered noticeably when Houston blitzed. That could be a problem when the Giants come to town in Week 2.

10. New York Giants [10] — Last week, I said that I like Tiki Barber, the offensive line, and the defensive front seven, but I'm not sold on anyone else. After Week 1, that remains true. Eli Manning put up decent numbers, but only with help from two spectacular catches by Plaxico Burress. Quarterback play will be a concern for this team all season, and the offense needs to cut down on penalties.

11. Atlanta Falcons [18] — With Carolina out of the way, their early-season schedule is very forgiving. Four of the next five games are at home, and two of the next three are against teams that had losing records in 2005, the exception being Tampa Bay, which looked feeble in Week 1. Atlanta dominated its opener, but if you're looking for potential trouble, Michael Vick completed under 50% of his passes, and he'll need to improve his accuracy if the Falcons are going to be an elite team this season.

12. Denver Broncos [5] — They basically lost on turnovers, and probably aren't as bad as Sunday's loss made them seem. The running attack was as effective as ever, and the defense did a nice job, containing the Rams' passing game and holding St. Louis without a touchdown. It's rare that a loss can be blamed on one player, but Jake Plummer threw three interceptions and lost a fumble, and if he has another game or two like that, his coaches are going to start thinking about fans' calls for Jay Cutler.

13. Minnesota Vikings [16] — Neither Minnesota nor Washington looked particularly sharp on Monday night, but if there was a unit that looked strong, it was the Vikings' defense. Minnesota needs to establish its offensive identity and find a go-to guy, but the pieces are in place for this team to go far in Brad Childress' first season as head coach.

14. Baltimore Ravens [21] — Steve McNair played well in his first game as a Raven, but it would be hard to overstate the job done by Baltimore's defense on Sunday. It held the Bucs to under 150 total yards, tallying three sacks and three interceptions along the way. Ray Lewis had his best game in years, looking fast and fresh. CB Chris McAlister and DT Haloti Ngata are tied for the NFL lead in interception return yardage.

15. San Diego Chargers [22] — It's usually hard to complain after a 27-0 victory, but the Chargers looked like a very incomplete football team on Tuesday morning. They overused LaDainian Tomlinson, who can't keep up that kind of workload all season, and the coaches clearly don't have much confidence in Philip Rivers, who played a solid game but looked shaky at times. On the bright side, the front seven looked great, especially OLB Shawne Merriman. Mike Scifres is the best punter in the league.

16. Washington Redskins [7] — Sean Taylor is one of the most gifted players in the NFL, but his lack of discipline — a long-standing problem — hurt Washington more than once on Monday night. Taylor's mistakes, though, should trouble fans far less than the team's offense, which looked just as impotent in its first game under new coordinator Al Saunders as it did last season.

17. Dallas Cowboys [12] — I have no idea where all the Super Bowl hype came from, but I imagine it will recede a bit after Drew Bledsoe's dismal performance against the Jaguars. The NFC East is full of unreliable quarterbacks holding back their talented teammates, and Donovan McNabb's Eagles may roll to a division title by virtue of their superiority at that key position.

18. Buffalo Bills [19] — They should probably be higher than this, and if they win at Miami on Sunday, they will be. The Bills' defense created opportunities against the Patriots, but the team beat itself with penalties and ineffective offense, especially in the second half. It would be easier to evaluate J.P. Losman if his receivers would step up.

19. Kansas City Chiefs [6] — Trent Green suffered a major concussion on Sunday, and this isn't the same team with Damon Huard under center. Huard will start in next week's game against another disappointing AFC West team, the Denver Broncos. The loser will find itself in a major hole to begin the race for the division crown.

20. St. Louis Rams [25] — Huge opening-day win for new coach Scott Linehan, but there's a lot of room for improvement. The run defense, which allowed over 160 yards and a 6.4 average, needs some work. Marc Bulger got sacked three times and only completed about half of his passes. The team had to settle for six field goals, most of them close-range, because the offense couldn't find the end zone. Finally, starting center Andy McCollum, a long-time standout, will miss the rest of the season on injured reserve.

21. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [8] — Shut out at home for the first time in 10 years. The Bucs didn't just lose on Sunday, they lost ugly. Chris Simms was atrocious, Cadillac Williams only rushed for 22 yards, Michael Clayton was the only wide receiver to catch a pass (three for 34 yards), Simeon Rice was completely shut down by Jonathan Ogden, and the defense managed only one sack and no turnovers. The good news is that things can only get better from here. The bad news is Week 2 at Atlanta. Vick has struggled against Tampa Bay in the past, but if the Buccaneers are going to give games away, it won't matter.

22. Miami Dolphins [15] — The bright spot Thursday night was Wes Welker, who led the team in receiving yards and scared the Steelers more than once with big returns on special teams. Whenever your bright spot is Wes Welker, though, your team is in the bottom half of the power rankings. The offense looked terrible against Pittsburgh, with Ronnie Brown averaging two yards a carry and Daunte Culpepper completing less than half his passes, including a pair of crucial interceptions. The Dolphins won't always face that kind of defense, but it's not a promising start for new offensive coordinator Mike Mularkey.

23. New Orleans Saints [26] — The defense was terrific, shutting down Reuben Droughns and generating three turnovers, but the story here is Reggie Bush. The second pick in April's draft has been compared to Gale Sayers, Barry Sanders, and Marshall Faulk. On Sunday, he rushed for 61 yards, caught eight passes, and returned three punts. The scary part is that Bush is probably only going to get better.

24. New York Jets [24] — Chad Pennington and Laveranues Coles were in fine form, but the Jets still needed a late touchdown to secure a victory over the lowly Titans. New York's running game was nowhere to be found, the team lost three fumbles, and kicker Mike Nugent missed two short field goals and an extra point. The Jets are going to have serious problems when they play more competitive teams this season.

25. Arizona Cardinals [23] — Kurt Warner put up great numbers, but if the offensive line can't give him more protection, Cardinals fans are going to see Matt Leinart in action a lot sooner than they had hoped to. Edgerrin James averaged under three yards per carry against San Francisco's wretched defense, and Arizona's own defense did little to reign in the 49ers' normally toothless offense. Maybe it was just opening-day rust, but a team with serious playoff aspirations needs to tighten things up.

26. Cleveland Browns [20] — One of the basic rules of offense is that your quarterback should not be your leading rusher (unless he is Michael Vick, though usually not even then). Charlie Frye's running helped salvage a miserable afternoon for the Browns, but he also committed three turnovers. Offseason acquisition Joe Jurevicius was injured against New Orleans and will miss at least the next few games.

27. Detroit Lions [29] — The defense played well against Seattle, holding the reigning conference champs to a trio of field goals and shutting down 2005 NFL MVP Shaun Alexander. The problem is offense. Detroit simply doesn't have any playmakers, and the scoreboard's going to look ugly when they travel to Chicago next week.

28. Oakland Raiders [27] — To begin the game, their defense allowed Tomlinson a career high in first-quarter rushing yards. In the second quarter, Aaron Brooks was sacked four times, not including one called back because of a penalty. In the third quarter, Randy Moss was called for taunting, after which the Raiders managed four consecutive three-and-outs. And to end the game, San Diego outscored Oakland 14-0 in the final quarter and Brooks was benched with more sacks than completions.

29. Green Bay Packers [28] — Last season, when Brett Favre had the worst season of his career, he didn't have any games as bad as the one he played against Chicago on Sunday. It's true that his passer rating was lower in the 48-3 loss at Baltimore, but Favre didn't take any sacks in that game, and he had three against the Bears. Sunday also marked the first time in his career as a starter that Favre was shut out. It's going to be a long season.

30. Tennessee Titans [30] — A week ago today, Billy Volek was still the starting quarterback. On Sunday, he watched Kerry Collins and Vince Young from the sideline, despite being healthy. The coaching staff in Tennessee needs to put its personnel in order, and the veterans on this team need to step up and take leadership roles.

31. Houston Texans [31] — Picked up where they left off last season, getting their quarterback killed. It would be nice to see what David Carr could do with a better supporting cast, but you can't evaluate a guy who gets planted on the ground five times a game. Houston had a nice first quarter against the Eagles, but was ultimately outgained by 200 yards and lost by two touchdowns. Their next game is at Indianapolis, so things probably aren't going to get any better.

32. San Francisco 49ers [32] — Exceeded expectations in their opener, keeping things close and making strides in important areas like run defense and the development of their young quarterback. For only the second time in his pro career, Alex Smith started a game and didn't have an interception. He connected with newly acquired wideout Antonio Bryant for 114 yards, and promising second-year RB Frank Gore added 170 yards from scrimmage. It should be interesting to see how the Niners fare at home against St. Louis in Week 2.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 9:41 PM | Comments (3)

Why the U.S. Will Win the Ryder Cup

I do not make many guarantees, but I am certain that the Americans will retake the Ryder Cup at the K Club in Ireland. I am so confident that I will guarantee it right now. My belief is only strengthened by the recent series of events that have made news leading up to the Cup in just a few weeks.

First, Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson voluntarily rearranged their schedules to appear in Ireland for a team scouting session at the K Club. Woods established himself as team leader by taking the four rookies on the squad out to dinner and trying to get to know them a little bit better. Brett Wetterich had never even met Woods and now they have some semblance of team together. That's definitely a step in the right direction considering the palpable lack of camaraderie that the U.S. team has shown in the Ryder Cups since the Miracle.

Then, take a look at the performances of Stewart Cink and J.J. Henry since it has been made official that they were in fact members of the team. Cink gave Woods a run for his money at Bridgestone in the WGC event there — then again, Cink won that event in 2004 after he was named to the team and went 1-2-1 in the Ryder Cup.

J.J. Henry has played some respectable golf in recent weeks, as well. He had a top-10 finish at Bridgestone and finished tied for sixth at the TPC of Boston. Assured he was on the team, Henry played much better and snapped out of a cold spell that saw him miss a cut and finish top-50 in two of his last three events before the PGA Championship. Even further, Jim Furyk just won the Canadian Open.

Sure, Brett Wetterich has missed the cut in six of his last 11 events. But, unlike in the President's Cup, the Ryder Cup allows the captains to hide weaker players. Cap'n Tom will be sure to do so if he feels that Brett is not likely to contribute.

In the meantime, the U.S. has some legitimate pairings that have demonstrated recent success in the President's Cup and other competitions. Woods/Furyk and [Chris] DiMarco/Mickelson will do well at the K Club as they did at RTJ just last fall. Throw in Stewart Cink/Zach Johnson and you have three pretty formidable teams for the Euros to face. Given the power stats of Wetterich and fellow rookie Vaughn Taylor, the fourball teams that the U.S. has could actually take advantage of the recklessness that the format affords. After all, what does the U.S. have to lose in the pairs matches? The U.S. has been getting crushed in them for years, forcing the red, white, and blue to rally on Sunday in the singles matches and that just cannot continue.

If the good news about the individuals on the U.S. team is not enough to convince you, then I invite you to take a look at the K Club. Guess who designed the course hosting the matches? An American — more specifically, Arnold Palmer in 1988. The architecture of the K Club is truly American-inspired at the course presents lots of birdie opportunities and encourages aggression. If nothing else, the American team is good at making birdies and lots of them.

Barring some extreme conditions or very unusual pin placements, the K Club will yield a lot of low scores. Given that excellence on the PGA Tour these days is measured in birdies and eagles, this reality favors the Americans. If the Ryder Cup becomes a test of wills and pars, then the Americans would be in trouble (see Oakland Hills, 2004).

Further, the Americans can take solace in the recent brouhaha that the Europeans have engaged in concerning Captain Ian Woosnam's picks of Darren Clarke and Lee Westwood. Westwood, in Woosnam's mind, made the team because of his Euro Tour success at events held at the K Club, including the Smurfit European Open. Thomas Bjorn, who thought he should have made the team, was left off for his lack of success there and created a stir by going public with his story.

If nothing else, this serves as a distraction for the European team — the side that has seemed the most cohesive in the past 20 years of Ryder Cup competition. It may not be much, but it may be enough to create a distraction from which the Americans could benefit.

Finally, the 2004 Ryder Cup should serve as plenty of motivation for the American players that were a part of that complete embarrassment. The largest margin in the history of the matches should inspire the American players to do better, especially Tiger Woods. Woods is completing what is arguably his best season on Tour and will want to cap it off with a victory at the Ryder Cup. It appears that Woods finally takes his place on this team seriously as he is now the undisputed leader of the team. Look for him to play well in the Ryder Cup, especially coming off of match play experience at the HSBC World Match Play Championship this week.

Sure, the Americans look weaker than the Euros on paper. But, the inverse was true for the past 20 years and that never seemed to stop the Europeans from winning. The Americans are looking at a stronger team, a favorable course, and clear motivation — there is no reason that Cap'n Lehman cannot inspire this team to take the Cup home.

Posted by Ryan Ballengee at 9:05 PM | Comments (0)

September 11, 2006

No Run Left in Sox: A Post-Curse Postscript

August closed as it generally does in Red Sox Nation — with bad news. There's always something, from phenom Tony Conigliaro getting beaned (and sidelined) by Angels pitcher Jack Hamilton's spitter in 1967, to the first-place fadeaway of 1978.

To live in New England during the Dog Days is to lick new wounds while revisiting old ones. The tradition is handed down with the same integrity as the Boston accent and the love of lobster rolls. Having spent this summer on Martha's Vineyard, I experienced the annual agony firsthand.

What about 2004, you say? The lifting of the supposed "Curse of the Bambino." The great healing. Exuberant players waving from the Duck Boats. Save that image. It is that memory that allows Red Sox Nation to endure the palpitations of team leader David Ortiz and the diagnosis of lymphatic cancer for 22-year-old rookie hurler Jon Lester. The prevailing philosophy is, "As long as they won one in my lifetime."

That the hated Yankees have benefited from the Sox swoon comes with the AL East territory. Just how long did Sox rooters think a team with Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, Bobby Abreu, Mike Mussina, Randy Johnson, and Johnny "The Traitor" Damon would falter? Now, whether fans care or not, they can pretend not to.

The World Series sweep of 2004, preceded by the sudden demolition of said Yankees, provides the faithful with what they deem as eternal bragging rights fraught with words such as "Schilling," "Papi," and "choked." For one shining moment, the proverbial shoe was on the other foot (that being the bloodied one of gutsy pitcher Curt Schilling).

Many principal players in that drama are gone. Dave Roberts. Johnny Damon. Pedro Martinez. Still, the "Cowboy Up" gain all but erases the current pain. Jason Varitek on the disabled list? No worries, the Pats look good in the preseason. Yanks on a tear? Not a problem, we showed 'em two years ago.

One must remember that Boston is a city rooted in tragedy. The Cocoanut Grove Fire of 1942. The Brink's Job. The Strangler. The Kennedy's. The Nanny Murder. Not to mention the important stuff, like 1946 (World Series loss to Cards, Ted Williams fails to produce in clutch), 1967 (Impossible Dream, World Series berth — we'd have won if Tony Conigliaro hadn't gotten beaned in August), 1975 (we wuz robbed — that was interference between Ed Armbrister and Pudge Fisk ... b'sdies, Jim Rice was out with a broken leg), 1978 (Bucky #!*%!* Dent), and 1986 (Billy Buck at first base).

Mourning is an art form here — ever hear of an Irish wake?

Alas, there is not the need to win that existed before 2004. Make no mistake, the Red Sox are still huge. Ninth-inning at-bats freeze taverns and restaurants in utter silence, and pitching changes are analyzed by rooters with a complexity of probability that dwarfs anything taking place at MIT.

The pride is there — one sees far more Red Sox t-shirts and caps worn on the streets than before 2004 (when many felt giving their heart too generously to the Old Towne Team risked the fact that they would break it). But the erasure of the Curse has become the salve that heals all wounds, a flashback to better days. Bill Buckner, all is forgiven.

Posted by Bijan C. Bayne at 9:41 PM | Comments (3)

2006 NFL Preview: Washington Redskins

Last Year

After another lavish offseason, Redskins fans were not sure what to expect in 2005, but a 3-0 start set the bar high. The team's success was built around an aggressive defense, while Mark Brunell managed the offense fairly well. Now owner Dan Snyder has opened his wallet again and with a veteran team and an all-star coaching staff, the Redskins will be hoping to build on their playoff win from last season.

What We Learned From Last Year

Having your starting quarterback get his clock cleaned is typically not a good thing, but in Washington's case, it was kind of a blessing in disguise.

Patrick Ramsey injured his neck in Week 1 of the regular season and gave way to Mark Brunell, who posted a 3,000-yard season.

It wasn't 1997 and by no means was Brunell a Pro Bowl threat, but he was a solid caretaker.

He only completed 57.7% of his passes, but he only threw 10 interceptions, compared to 23 touchdowns.

In the offseason, the Redskins shipped Laveranues Coles back to his former team, the New York Jets, after two mild seasons, and received Santana Moss in return.

At first, it looked like the Redskins were acquiring a very similar player in Moss, but that was far from the case.

Moss became an integral part of the offense, towing in 1,483 yards and 9 touchdowns.

He wasn't the only one to breakout as second-year tight end Chris Cooley finished second on the team with 71 receptions and 774 yards.

With Clinton Portis running the ball efficiently, the offense was suddenly a functional unit after hampering the 'Skins for so many years.

The key was that the front five was healthy and cohesive for almost the whole season.

Just the year before, the Redskins suffered a big setback when right tackle Jon Jansen was lost for the year in the preseason. It left a big gaping hole on the right side of the line that simply would not be filled.

On defense, coordinator Gregg Williams continued to churn quality defensive players. There were questions as to whether middle linebacker Lemar Marshall could handle a full-time role, but he was excellent, leading the team in tackles.

Playmaker LaVar Arrington spent a lot of time on the sideline, partially because of injury and mostly because him and Williams didn't see eye-to-eye. Warrick Holdman, the third starting linebacker, was mediocre at best.

In the secondary, first-round pick Carlos Rogers was one of the quieter rookies, but played exceptionally well in spurts. Walt Harris, a seasoned and aging veteran, also provided solid production.

The playmaker at the back end was Sean Taylor, who is a do-it-all safety that is emerging as one of the best in the business. Off-field incidents were a bit of a distraction, though.

With an aggressive front seven, the Redskins put the pressure on every offensive line they faced. The defense was strong enough to carry them to the playoffs with modest help from the offense, but with another free-wheeling offseason that has supplied talent on both sides of the ball, the Redskins are hunting for a Super Bowl.

This Year

The Redskins had a few leaks on their roster, last year that they hope to have addressed in the offseason.

They targeted a few wide receivers and acquired both Brandon Lloyd and Antwaan Randle El. They experienced so much success with their small, speedy wideout Santana Moss last year that they figured they load up with two more.

Randle El is a solid third wide receiver, while Lloyd has playmaking potential as a number two starter.

Last season, the Redskins received little production out of their number two spot. David Patten had only 22 receptions, while the others only combined for 26 receptions and 312 yards.

With more weapons and offensive genius Al Saunders taking over the reigns, the Redskins could be a dangerous unit.

With a change in philosophy, Clinton Portis figures to be more of a factor. Joe Gibbs loves a running back that is a bit bigger and stronger than Portis and has therefore misused him a little bit. Saunders figures to cater the schemes more to his skills.

The key on offense will be the front five. The Redskins have a solid unit anchored by two very good tackles, Chris Samuels and Jon Jansen, two stout guards, Randy Thomas and Derrick Dockery, and a good center in Casey Rabach. The problem is that the depth behind this unit is untested. The last minute signing of Todd Wade could be valuable.

On defense, the holes included less than inspiring play at weak side linebacker and strong safety.

That won't be much of a problem anymore as the Redskins signed Adam Archuleta from the St. Louis Rams and used their highest draft pick on linebacker Rocky McIntosh.

With Archuleta and Taylor, there isn't much this safety tandem can't do.

They will be behind a grouping of cornerbacks that figures to be better than last year's as Carlos Rogers grows into a viable starter. Kenny Wright and Mike Rumph are the nickel and dime backs, but that is not much of a concern, considering how Williams' defense have pumped out quality cornerbacks each season.

The linebackers will get a boost from McIntosh, when he's ready, but they will be okay with Holdman starter for now. Marshall is reliable and Washington is the sideline-to-sideline playmaker.

Up front, the Redskins also get a boost with the signing of Andre Carter. He didn't have a lot of success in San Francisco, as they moved him back and forth from the line to linebacker, but Williams will find a role for him. He'll keep the pressure off of Phillip Daniels, who registered eight sacks last season.

In the heart of the line, the Redskins have a solid run stuffer in Cornelius Griffin and will take up a lot of space with Joe Salave'a. There is some depth on the line with Demetric Evans and Renaldo Wynn as backups.

There isn't much that the Redskins are missing on their roster and they have the mixings of a Super Bowl team. Although some question whether Mark Brunell can last — or be successful — over a full season, he won't have to do too much with the weapons around him on offense and with a stellar defense to back him up. With the best coaching staff in the league, you can be assured to see the Redskins in the playoffs come January.

Over/Under: 9

If the Redskins offensive line can hold up for the full season, they will be neck-in-neck with the Dallas Cowboys in the NFC East. Their schedule is not overly difficult, but they are in a dog-eat-dog division, which will wear them down. They play: MIN, @DAL, @HOU, JAC, @NYG, TEN, @IND, DAL, @PHI, @TB, CAR, ATL, PHI, @NO, @STL, and NYG.

Fantasy Sleeper

Chris Cooley caught seven touchdowns last season and more than doubled his yardage total from his rookie season. This year, the offense has hired offensive coordinator Al Saunders, who emphasized tight end Tony Gonzalez for years in Kansas City. While that is a good omen, the other smart reason to draft Cooley is that with three smaller wideouts, he is easily the team's best option in the red zone.

This is the fourth consecutive season of comprehensive NFL previews by Dave Golokhov. Stay tuned as he brings you previews for all 32 NFL teams! He can be reached at [email protected].

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 9:29 PM | Comments (0)

2006 NFL Preview: Tennessee Titans

Last Year

Caught up against the salary cap, the Tennessee Titans couldn't afford quality components and were forced to choose the cheaper, youthful route. After a discouraging 2-3 start followed up by a five-game losing streak, it became quite obvious that the season was just a precursor to a rebuilding process. For the first time since the franchise moved to Tennessee, Steve McNair will not be the starting quarterback as the Vince Young era begins in Nashville.

What We Learned From Last Year

After losing cornerbacks Samari Rolle and Andre Dyson in addition to wide receiver Derrick Mason to free agency, the Titans lost a lot of veteran contributors off their team.

Mason was a favorite of Steve McNair and the two often hooked up for game-changing plays.

There was some hope that Drew Bennett would be able to step up as the team's top wideout, but he was not ready to face the opponent's best cornerback every week.

There was a youth movement in place at the wide receiver position, but no one was able to take some pressure off of Bennett and he therefore faced coverage rolled his way or double teams.

There were high expectations for Tyron Calico — again — but rookies Brandon Jones, Roydell Williams, and Courtney Roby all finished with more receiving yards and touchdowns than him.

With a lack of threats at the receiver position, the Titans channeled their offense more through the tight ends. Erron Kinney and Ben Troupe both finished with 55 receptions and Troupe really started to tap into his playmaking potential.

First year offensive coordinator Norm Chow was given an offensive line that permitted 44 sacks in 2004, but he implemented a quick release system, which put less stress on the linemen. That scheme helped trim the sack total by 10 and McNair didn't face as much pressure as the previous season.

The running game was inconsistent for Tennessee as Chris Brown and Travis Henry, who missed four games with a drug suspension, only averaged 3.8 yards per carry.

On defense, the Titans used a first-round pick to select Adam "Pacman" Jones in an effort to replace Rolle and Dyson. With Andre Woolfolk, the Titans starters at cornerback were extremely inexperienced.

At the back end, Lamont Thompson was steady, but lacked speed, and therefore range in the passing game. Tank Williams, who was returning from an ACL injury, also looked slow.

With green cornerbacks and safeties that could not get over in time, the Titans secondary was picked apart and allowed a league-high 33 passing touchdowns.

The front seven for Tennessee was also lacking.

The linebacking corps had no playmakers outside of Keith Bulluck, while the front four only had one consistent contributor in Kyle Vanden Bosch. In Albert Haynesworth and Randy Starks, the Titans have two tackles with endless potential, but both are very inconsistent. Travis LaBoy looked like a solid prospect, finishing with 6.5 sacks.

The youth movement was in place all over the roster last season, but this year we will find out whether the youngsters are going to develop into vital contributors or whether they still need babying.

This Year

With such a young team last season, one issue that seemed to plague the Titans was locker room leadership. In free agency this offseason, the front office focused on welcoming experienced veterans who perform at a high level and can show the younger players how to get the job done.

By signing safety Chris Hope, linebacker David Thornton, center Kevin Mawae, and wide receiver David Givens, the Titans have infused a ton of leadership, experience and savvy.

Hope will start at strong safety and LaMont Thompson has trimmed down a bit in the offseason to pick up some speed. The back end of the defense should be much more secure.

At cornerback, last year's rookies Pacman Jones and Reynaldo Hill return as the top cornerbacks and Andre Woolfolk is still on the depth chart. The team has not been pleased with what the former first-round pick has provided in three seasons.

Although Jones has looked excellent and Hill has been solid, the tandem is still unseasoned and the nickel role will also be filled by someone inexperienced. The secondary will be better than last year, but it looks like another year of experience is necessary before they become dependable.

The linebacking position will see a steep upgrade in speed, as the pace brought by Brad Kassell and Peter Sirmon simply didn't cut it last year. David Thornton and Keith Bulluck will team to become the fastest tandem in the league, while Sirmon should be a little more mobile one year removed from his serious injury.

Up front, the Titans still figure to be inconsistent. Kyle Vanden Bosch will receive a lot more attention this season because Antwan Odom and Travis LaBoy have not proven that they deserve extra blockers. In the middle, Rien Long is lost for the year with an ACL injury, which will hurt the run defense and thin the rotation at the position.

Randy Starks and Albert Haynseworth can be game-changing players in the middle, but they need to play at a high level each week. The surprising return of Robaire Smith, who was a standout in Tennessee and a flop in Houston, should add some protection.

On offense, the front line is also experiencing some turmoil.

Last year's right tackle, Michael Roos, moves over to the left side, while guard Jacob Bell takes over his former spot. Center Justin Hartwig was swapped for veteran Kevin Mawae. The guards, Zach Piller and Benji Olson, are decent. With three major changes on the line, they need to develop chemistry.

With McNair gone, it looked like 10-year veteran Billy Volek would finally get a shot at the starting gig. But he's hasn't impressed, has complained a lot and has displayed poor leadership. Vince Young will get some time in the lineup early in the season — maybe a series or two per game — but veteran Kerry Collins, who was signed two weeks before the season, will likely head into week one as the starter.

With many teams in search for a backup and third string quarterback, the Titans would be wise to move Volek while they can get something in return for him.

The Titans spent a lot of money to sign David Gives from the Patriots, but chalk me up as one of the skeptics who disagree with the move. Givens has size and speed, but he's not a number one receiver. He's a solid target in the red zone, but it is questionable whether he can be a game-changer in the other 80 yards of the field.

Nonetheless, Drew Bennett should see less attention and be more of a playmaker this season. The Titans are banking on some of last year's rookie wideouts to step up. Brandon Jones is the best candidate to develop, but he is coming off an ACL injury. The team signed veteran Bobby Wade to play the third role.

Tight ends Ben Troupe and Erron Kinney make a solid tandem and Bo Scaife is a good backup. Troupe has worked on his blocking and should be a favorite target. With the depth at this position, expect the Titans to flash plenty of two tight end sets.

At running back, the team is expecting Chris Brown and Travis Henry to bounce back from sub-par seasons. Brown is the game-breaker, but it is unclear whether he is durable to last 300 carries or whether he can pick up tough yards. Henry can, but he doesn't break big runs. LenDale White is lurking in the background, but hasn't shown much as of yet.

Overall, the Titans are pretty much a vanilla offense without any superstars. They seem to be average or good at most positions, but with a shaky defense, that will not be good enough to get by. Head coach Jeff Fisher has an excellent coaching staff that will get the most out of these players and does a great job of developing young prospects, but the Titans are still at least a year away from challenging for a .500 record.

Over/Under: 5.5

The Tennessee Titans look like they still might decline a little bit before things get better. With the Indianapolis Colts and Jacksonville Jaguars as wining teams and the Houston Texans on the rise, the Titans will be the poor boy in the AFC South. They play: NYJ, @SD, @MIA, DAL, @IND, @WAS, HOU, @JAC, BAL, @PHI, NYG, IND, @HOU, JAC, @BUF, and NE.

Fantasy Sleeper

Chris Brown is being drafted ahead of Travis Henry in most drafts and at this point, that is the correct order. But Brown has yet to prove he can handle the wear and tear of a full season's work and should he get dinged up — which is almost inevitable — Henry will step in. Since the battle for carries was so closely contested between the two, if Henry steps in and is effective, don't expect Jeff Fisher to go back to Brown.

This is the fourth consecutive season of comprehensive NFL previews by Dave Golokhov. Stay tuned as he brings you previews for all 32 NFL teams! He can be reached at [email protected].

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 8:24 PM | Comments (0)

September 9, 2006

Football Comes Full Circle

When I was a kid, going to church was a spiritual experience — as in you'd need a steadfast spirit to weather the undeniable tedium that dotted the road to salvation.

Wooden pews that were slightly less comfortable than the bleachers at Yankee Stadium on a sold-out afternoon. Monotone scripture readings that sounded like C-SPAN on a valium kick. A hymnal full of songs that really, really, really, really were in need of some catchy hooks. All of it focused through a humorless old man in a frock, looking like an extra from the Vatican scenes in "Godfather III."

Boring? Boring doesn't describe it. Even my father, devout as he is, would fall asleep, his head bobbing down to his chest for a few seconds and before slowly rising back up to focus on the altar. This would happen - and I'm being conservative here — at least 50 times during an hour-long mass. Yet he'd scold me if I ever rested my ass on the front of the bench while kneeling during communion.

For a celebration of God, it was more like a birthday party for the kid nobody likes in kindergarten. I often wondered what church would be like if I were a Southern Baptist, what with the depictions I had seen in documentaries like "The Blues Brothers."

But since I'd blend in there about as well as T.O. at a McNabb family reunion, I never gave it chance.

Church was vanilla and tepid, but we went every week. Because it was an entrenched part of our lives, a requiem for our identity and faith. We didn't need bells and whistles to get us to come back — although bells and whistles would have really helped the third verse of "Loving Shepherd of Thy Sheep."

Yet at some point during the MTV generation, many faiths decided to court a new audience by turning their masses into stage shows. Out goes old Italian priest, and in comes hip young minister who wants to "rap" with you about the Lord. Out go the stodgy piano-driven hymns, and in come the guitar-driven mid-tempo Christian rock anthems. Video clips, packed auditoriums, light shows ... I'm sorry, did I just walk into a Coldplay concert by mistake?

These religions saw their attendance wavering, and took drastic measures, not grasping this obvious concept: that there is always going to be devoted followers, and those who feel obligated to attend, who will continue to show up no matter how the material's being presented.

The same holds true for the Church of Sports on Television. Generations of sports fans beget other generations of sports fans. Even if the numbers dip, they aren't going anywhere — in the darkest days of the football, baseball, and basketball, those fans eventually came back to the Church.

But when you're spending billions of dollars for the right to bring the Church to millions of homes, you're not about to take any chances. Obligation and habit only go so far, goes the thinking — bells and whistles must be applied to keep, and grow, that audience.

For years, ESPN has been a forerunner in technological advancements in sports television. Its baseball coverage remains a digital marvel. It's even redefined the way non-sports like poker, darts, and golf have been presented.

Lately, it's been getting nutty with its inventions. Like when it showed a Duke basketball game last season using only the cameras on top of the backboards on one network and a more traditional view on another. And like on Monday, when ESPN Full Circle debuted on the Florida State/Miami game: a dazzling picture-in-picture-meets-split-screen concoction that covered nearly everything on the field in small boxes. Both coaches were featured on the sidelines. Another two cameras were on the quarterbacks at all times. Another two cameras were focused from the end zone. Still another camera dangled over the field (thanks, XFL).

These feeds were all presented in raw form, each taking up a small corner of the screen. Think of the opening credits of "The Brady Bunch," only minus Robert Reed and with Alice's box about three times the size (you have no idea how dirty I feel right now having just typed that).

Did it work? Most of the time; although without cutting to different shots, much of the camera work reminded me of the "extreme close-up" bit from "Wayne's World." I like seeing the head coaches at all times, but I don't need to see a quarterback who's not on the field at all times. If anything, there needed to be better selection of what to watch and when to watch it. A few shots of the crowd at a college game wouldn't have hurt, either.

Still, it marks a significant innovation for football on television. I've long said that the NFL — when it eventually does make all of its games pay-per-view — should offer several channels for each game. If I want to watch Michael Vick for three hours, I go to the Vick channel, which has a PIP version of the actual game going in the corner of the screen while my camera's focused on Vick's every move.

Full Circle brings us closer to that ideal, but isn't perfect. All of those boxes probably looked great on a mega-screen in a sports bar, but not so much on my HDTV widescreen, where they looked cramped. But the potential is there.

So why do it? Why change the scrolling side view of traditional football coverage?

To snag the Madden fans. To get those ADD Ritalin kids focusing on a new part of the screen every few seconds. And, most importantly, to offer Generation Blog a full-access pass to a sporting event that otherwise would only be available in ESPN's mobile control room. This technology shows you more than you'll ever see, or want to see.

Me? If you've read "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer," you know I'm a traditionalist. I'm Pat Flippin' Buchanan when it comes to sports and sports on television. I'll always need the conventional presentation of a football game in order to enjoy it, but I wouldn't mind a second channel with all the ancillary stuff. I just don't see Full Circle replacing the standard presentation any time soon.

One caveat: if ESPN ever finds a way to offer alternative audio tracks, I'm all over it. Can you imagine having your choice of the usual football booth or, say, a booth with Jimmy Kimmel, Larry David, and Bill Maher?

Then again, if I wanted a banal host, a grating curmudgeon, and an egomaniac, I'd just watch "Monday Night Football."

God Bless the Church of Sports Television, where my father also nods off at least 50 times per event...

Greg Wyshynski is the Features Editor for SportsFan Magazine in Washington, DC, and the Senior Sports Editor for The Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. His book is "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History." His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 10:03 PM | Comments (0)

2006 NFL Preview: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Last Year

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers were a perfect example of modern day parity in the NFL, as they finished with an 11-5 record and atop the NFC South just one season after finishing in last place. They drove Cadillac Williams and a stout defense back to the playoffs, but fell short in a home tilt versus the Redskins. The Bucs have rounded out their roster and have added depth in several areas and will be an NFC threat once again.

What We Learned From Last Year

After a 4-0 start in which Cadillac Williams re-wrote all sorts of rookie rushing records and Brian Griese looked comfortable in Jon Gruden's offense, the Buccaneers were one of the NFL's biggest surprises.

But then Griese tore his ACL and the Bucs hit a midseason lull.

Chris Simms stepped in as the starter, but was shaky in the early going with a mediocre 2-3 record in his first five starts, including a disheartening defeat in San Francisco.

The offensive line that protected both quarterbacks was improved from 2004, but it still was not on par with the better units in the league. They allowed 41 sacks.

The Bucs were a sparkling 6-0 when Cadillac rushed for 100 yards or more, but he wore down as the season progressed and didn't properly report his injuries to the medical staff.

But Simms eventually found his feet in the offense and seemed to get better with each start.

He had some help in the passing game, as Joey Galloway output a career-best 1,287 receiving yards, 10 touchdowns, and several end zone bicep flexes.

His counterpart, Michael Clayton, who was outstanding in his rookie season, fell off the face of the earth in year two. Offseason surgeries limited his summer reps and then he dislocated his shoulder in the preseason. He played through pain all season.

While Clayton struggled, third wide receiver Ike Hilliard proved to be a dependable target.

Rookie tight end Alex Smith was second on the team in receptions with 41 and caught 367 yards in his first season. He was a nice complement to Anthony Becht, who handled most of the blocking duties.

On defense, the broken record continued to play about how the defense was growing long in the tooth, but all they did was finish with the first overall ranking.

Derrick Brooks, essentially an on-field coach, still performed at a high level, while Shelton Quarles, who rarely gets any attention for the work he does in this cover-two scheme, was also excellent.

Up front, Simeon Rice was still among the NFL's elite rushers and he benefited from a full season from tackle Anthony McFarland, who only played eight games in 2004.

The Minnesota Vikings though they were ridding themselves of a bust when they allowed Chris Hovan to walk in free agency, but their trash was the Bucs' gold. Hovan was integral in the Bucs' run defense and they quickly locked him up long term.

Ronde Barber and Brian Kelly were also expected to slow down, but there were no signs of that happening. At the back end, Dexter Jackson started, while youngsters Jermaine Phillips and Will Allen rotated in.

The Bucs have revamped their offensive line that let them down last season, but aside from that, return virtually the same team. While the defense is a year older, so are the likes of Michael Clayton, Chris Simms, Cadillac Williams, and Alex Smith, who have the potential to make this offense into a serious problem with Jon Gruden masterminding. Keep an eye on this team.

This Year

Finishing with the top ranking in the NFL, returning virtually all of its starters and with Monte Kiffin calling the plays, the Bucs defense didn't require much of a makeover.

Rather, it was the offense that the front office correctly decided to address.

The first order of business was to secure a shaky offensive line.

In the past, the Bucs have tried to cure this ailment by taking fliers on over-the-hill free agents, a la Derrick Deese.

Now the Bucs have added depth the right way — welcoming young, talented prospects.

In the first-round of the draft, the Bucs selected Davin Joseph, who will start for them immediately at right guard. He is a mauler and is going to facilitate any runs to the right side, even as a rookie.

Second-round pick Jeremy Trueblood is likely more of a long-term solution at right tackle, but even so, he is pushing starter Kenyatta Walker for the role and in effect, making him a better player.

With Dan Buenning and Sean Mahan looking like solid prospects on the interior, veteran John Wade might find himself as a backup shortly and at left tackle, Anthony Davis is also an up-and-comer. Not only will the starting five improve, the quality of the depth is better with last year's contributors, Jeb Terry and Mahan, present.

If the line is truly better, expect to see a monster season out of Cadillac Williams. He is poised for a 300+ carry season and like last year, when he tops 100 rushing yards, the Bucs will probably win.

Michael Clayton has rededicated himself in the offseason and he will resemble the player from 2004, rather than the laggard from 2005.

Many pundits are expecting a drop-off in production from Joey Galloway, which is a fair assessment, but with Clayton back in the picture, the passing game won't have to revolve around Galloway so much.

There is a ton of depth at wide receiver this year as the Bucs are high on third-round pick Maurice Stovall, who has impressed in the preseason. David Boston has also made a comeback to the NFL and has looked strong, while Ike Hilliard is still a reliable pair of hands.

Factor in Alex Smith, Anthony Becht, and Doug Jolley, who coincidentally had his best seasons when Gruden was coaching the Raiders, and this offense is loaded with talent around Chris Simms.

If Simms plays up to the raves that he has received so far, this is a very dangerous team.

On defense, we are familiar with what the Buccaneers bring to the table each week. Two concerns are the age of some of the components and the lack of depth at certain positions.

Linebackers Derrick Brooks and Shelton Quarles are key and virtually irreplaceable if the Bucs are aiming for a Super Bowl. Barrett Ruud has finally grasped the nuances of the middle linebacker role and should spell Quarles more often than in the past, while Jamie Winborn can fill in for Brooks in short-term absences.

Up front, the Bucs return the same front four and they should be more potent than last year. Dewayne White will push Greg Spires at the opposite end spot of Simeon Rice and both will get to the quarterback.

At the back end, Will Allen and Jermaine Phillips are ready to take on key roles in the cover two. Phillips is a big hitter and the team is confident that Allen is ready.

The Bucs may not need to rely on the defense as much as they have had to in the past because Gruden has a ton of chess pieces on offense to create mismatches and difficulties for opponents. If that is the case, the defense is still more than capable of stepping up in key games and carrying this team through stretches in the season.

If there is balance and Chris Simms is a stud — as Gruden claims — this team is most definitely a contender in the NFC.

Over/Under: 8.5

The NFC South squares off with the NFC East and the AFC North which means outside of the two matchups with New Orleans, the Bucs don't get much of a break in the schedule. Factor in their two other games versus first place teams Seattle and Chicago and the Bucs play 13 games versus playoff-caliber teams. They will be tested each and every week. They play: BAL, @ATL, CAR, @NO, CIN, PHI, @NYG, NO, @CAR, WAS, @DAL, @PIT, ATL, @CHI, @CLE, and SEA.

Fantasy Sleeper

No one is really talking about Michael Clayton because he is coming off a down year, but he was a reliable fantasy contributor in his rookie season. He used this offseason to condition himself and focus on honing his skills and there is no reason to expect another poor season. The Bucs will spread the ball around and Clayton will be a primary target. He is healthy and should be around the 1,000-yard range.

This is the fourth consecutive season of comprehensive NFL previews by Dave Golokhov. Stay tuned as he brings you previews for all 32 NFL teams! He can be reached at [email protected].

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 9:58 PM | Comments (0)

2006 NFL Preview: St. Louis Rams

Last Year

There were several signs pointing to a disastrous season for the St. Louis Rams and those premonitions became realities for Mike Martz. He hung his quarterback and offensive line out to dry — once again — and didn't run the ball enough — again. Now the Rams have a new coach, a new direction, and a lot of talent left over to work with, but will they finally stop underachieving now that Martz is gone?

What We Learned From Last Year

As many first-round busts as the Detroit Lions have endured on offense, the St. Louis Rams can match them player-for-player on defense.

Up front, particularly on the defensive line, the Rams burned first-round selections on tackles Damione Lewis, Ryan Pickett, and Jimmy Kennedy. None of them emerged as premier talents although, for the most part, poor coaching held them back.

Nonetheless, many opponents were able to penetrate the Rams defense on a consistent basis because of a leaky front line.

Without much protection up front, the Rams were the worst tackling defense last season.

Veteran linebacker Dexter Coakley was signed in an effort to shore up exactly that weakness, but performed below expectations. The Rams were clearly short on linebackers and Pisa Tinoisamoa were overmatched doing all the work by himself, even though he led the team in tackles.

Strong safety Adam Archuleta was the defense's best chess piece, but he didn't play like it last year. In fairness, like Tinoisamoa, he didn't have much help around him.

The secondary lost starting cornerbacks Jerametrius Butler (season) and Travis Fisher (eight games) for long-term periods and was forced to thrust inexperienced defensive backs like DeJuan Groce, Jerome Carter, and Ron Bartell into bigger roles.

The main problem on the defensive side of the ball was that they pretty much gave up halfway through the season. The coaching staff was battling with the front office and lost most of its credibility with the players.

The same can be said on the offensive side of the ball as the whole unit never looked on the same page.

Mike Martz never took a liking to pounding the football, even though he drafted stout running back Steven Jackson in the first round, and pundits often questioned him about that decision.

He instead had a penchant for airing out the football, which put a strain on quarterback Marc Bulger and an average offensive line.

The front five simply couldn't sustain in pass protection so much and Bulger ended up taking many big hits. Bulger threw 9 interceptions in the 10 games he played.

Both on offense and defense, coaching was one of the main factors in why the Rams collapsed. There is enough talent to believe that the Rams can be competing for a playoff spot and it will be up to new head coach Scott Linehan to develop offensive balance and keep a weaker defense off of the field.

This Year

With Marc Bulger, Torry Holt, Isaac Bruce, and Steven Jackson, the Rams still have the constituents of an explosive offense, but their success will be contingent on the offensive line.

On paper, it looks like a solid unit, but they need to develop some cohesiveness.

Orlando Pace is still one of the best left tackles in the game, while Alex Barron, who is anchoring the right side, should be more disciplined in his second season.

The middle three spots are up to center Andy McCollum and guards Adam Timmerman and Richie Incognito. Incognito has yet to play a snap of regular season football, but he is a raw, aggressive blocker. Timmerman needs to bounce back from an injury-plagued season.

All in all, this can be a very good line, but they will need to do a better job of protection Bulger, who has suffered shoulder injuries in the past two seasons.

The key on offense will be Steven Jackson. He is a burgeoning NFL superstar and he needs to get 20-25 carries a game to help control the clock and keep the defense off the field.

The passing game figures to still be effective as Holt and Bruce are still present, along with dynamic third, fourth, and fifth wideouts Kevin Curtis, Shaun McDonald, and Dane Looker. But expect the wide receivers on the back end of the depth chart to see less work as Linehan prefers to use tight ends instead of them.

The Rams drafted two tight ends early in the draft in Dominique Byrd and Joe Klopfenstein and the latter will start. Both he and Byrd are better as receivers, though, and it is worth keeping an eye on to see if they can become dual threats.

The offense will still score points at a healthy rate, even though they are no longer the Greatest Show on Turf.

The defense is now coached by former Saints head coach Jim Haslett and they will be expected to do more than just keep up.

Up front, the Rams have added a veteran presence in the heart of their defensive line because the youth movement never panned out for them. La'Roi Glover will start next to Jimmy Kennedy, the only of the aforementioned three first-round defensive tackles that was retained. Glover will be able to get to the quarterback from the inside, while Kennedy will be asked to attract double-teams. With impressive rookie Claude Wroten and veteran Jason Fisk as subs, the tackle position should be more deep and effective than it has been in recent memory.

On the ends, the Rams return last year's starters Leonard Little and Anthony Hargrove. This is still a very good duo as pass rushers, but they leave some to be desired in run defense.

The Rams signed free agent Will Witherspoon to secure their linebacking corps, but he was an outside linebacker in Carolina, who will be asked to play in the middle. If the tackle play is solid up front, he should be fine.

Witherspoon is a playmaker, but his presence should have a ripple effect on Tinoisamoa and allow him to feel less pressure and make more plays, as well. They will both be solid in pass coverage while the other starter, Brandon Chillar, is stouter against the run.

The secondary figures to be much improved with the return of Butler, the drafting of Clemson cornerback Tye Hill, and the signing of free agent Fakhir Brown. Travis Fisher, the only holdover from last year to play in the regular season, has had a strong offseason. Brown, Butler and Hill all have number-one cornerback potential and Fisher can be a solid number two guy. This position is very deep and much improved over last season. Ron Bartell, who surprised while filling in for injured starters last year, gets lost in the shuffle.

At the back end, the Rams added Corey Chavous to go along with steady strong safety O.J. Atogwe. Chavous brings a lot of experience to an otherwise young group, but the secondary will be expected to be much more competent than last season.

Believe it or not, there are some high expectations for a defense that was simply atrocious last year. Haslett plans to implement a more disciplined mindset this season and add an element of toughness. There could be as many as seven new starters and considering how fragile this defense was mentally and physically last year, that is a good thing.

If they are proficient, and the offense is comfortable in Linehan's system, the Rams do have wildcard potential. Pundits around the league are not expecting much from them, but that's usually how a sleeper starts.

Over/Under: 7

Although the Rams are not stuck with Martz' stubbornness anymore, it is unclear what kind of coach Linehan will be. Are his teams going to overachieve or underachieve? Will he get the most out of his components? It is difficult to assess at this point, so my guess is the Rams will be around 8-8. The play: DEN, @SF, @ARZ, DET, @GB, SEA, @SD, KC, @SEA, @CAR, SF, ARZ, CHI, @OAK, WAS, and @MIN.

Fantasy Sleeper

It's hard to call a guy like Steven Jackson a sleeper, but considering he is not making the top 10 in some drafts, maybe I should reiterate his value. He is a unique running back with uncanny power and very good speed. He should be a force in the red zone and will likely be a top-five selection in next year's fantasy drafts.

This is the fourth consecutive season of comprehensive NFL previews by Dave Golokhov. Stay tuned as he brings you previews for all 32 NFL teams! He can be reached at [email protected].

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 9:34 PM | Comments (0)

September 8, 2006

2006 NFL Preview: Seattle Seahawks

Last Year

The overlooked team from the Northwest finally received national attention as the Seattle Seahawks represented the NFC in the Super Bowl. Even though the officiating took the steam out of their sails, the Seahawks still did not execute well enough to win the big game. Nonetheless, they return a unit that is stronger than last season's, and even though many opponents will be gunning for them, they will likely make another quiet run to the championship game.

What We Learned From Last Year

There were few question marks surrounding the Seahawks offense that finished eighth overall in the 2004 season. Rather it was the defense, which was starting as many as seven new players that generated some anxiety.

But surprisingly, it turned out to have few weaknesses.

For starters, they were able to get to opposing quarterbacks on a consistent basis. And when there is a lot of uncertainty with an influx of new starters, one way to ease the learning curve is to pressure the passer.

The Seahawks did exactly that, leading the NFL with 50 sacks.

Defensive end Bryce Fisher, one of the new starters who arrived from St. Louis, was an excellent complement to Grant Wistrom, who coincidentally also arrived from St. Louis the previous year. The tandem combined for 13 sacks off the edge.

But the biggest surprise was in the center of the line, where Rocky Bernard, Marcus Tubbs, Chartric Darby, and Craig Terrill formed an excellent rotation. Bernard finished with 8.5 sacks, second only to Atlanta's Rod Coleman among defensive tackles. Tubbs was also a two-way threat in his second season, while Darby continued to outperform his measurables.

Behind the front lines, the linebackers were supposed to be anchored by the signing of veteran Jamie Sharper, but he only lasted eight games. Rookies LeRoy Hill and Lofa Tatupu stepped in and turned into immediate playmakers. Tatupu quickly became the leader of the defense, making big plays all over the field. He finished first on the team in tackles, with 104, and added 4 sacks, 3 interceptions, and a touchdown.

The cornerbacks were helped by a potent pass rush, but if there was one weak area, it was here. Marcus Trufant quietly developed into a solid number one corner, but Andre Dyson and Kelly Herndon were mediocre as follow ups.

At the back end, safety Michael Boulware was very solid and teamed with Ken Hamlin as one of the best safety duos until Hamlin was lost to injury because of an off-field incident six games into the season.

On offense, everything the Seahawks accomplished was facilitated by a premier offensive line. Tackle Walter Jones and guard Steve Hutchinson anchored the best left side tandem in football and the Seahawks often ran to their side when they needed a money play.

Shaun Alexander broke the rushing touchdown record and, quite clearly, was on top of his game.

Quarterback Matt Hasselbeck was very efficient picking apart defenses in Mike Holmgren's West Coast Offense, completing a career-best 65.5 of his passes while throwing only 9 interceptions. What made the feat more impressive was that he spent chunks of the season without his best wide receiver.

Darrell Jackson, who caught 87 passes and 1,199 yards just one season before, was limited to only six regular season games. Bobby Engram, who has the knowledge to start at several wide receiver positions in this offense, filled in admirably and led Seattle with 67 receptions. Hasselbeck also developed a good rapport with his tall target Joe Jurevicius, who caught a team-best 10 touchdowns.

The Seahawks fell just short of the Holy Grail last season and although Philadelphia, Dallas, Washington, and Carolina will all challenge them, they now have the experience to return to the Super Bowl. They also have a better team.

This Year

Thanks to some creative contract work by the Minnesota Vikings, the Seahawks offensive line will be minus All-Pro guard Steve Hutchinson this season.

But the Seahawks should still be fine among the front five.

Walter Jones is among the best left tackles in the game, which eases the burden off of Floyd "Pork Chop" Womack, who will be starting right next to him and filling Hutchinson's void. As Tim Ryan said on Sirius NFL Radio, if you've got a nickname like 'Pork Chop,' you better be able to play football.

With Sean Locklear as a constant on the right side, and Tom Ashworth for depth, the tackle positions are fine. The other two interior positions are manned by veterans Chris Gray and Robbie Tobeck, who are being pushed by youngsters Chris Spencer and Rob Sims.

One minor concern was the fact that the Seahawks loved to run behind the left side of their line when they needed short yardage. They may not be as stout at the point of attack in those situations this year.

Even so, don't expect the running game to drop-off much this season, but you can expect the passing game to be better. Nate Burleson is a good fit for this West Coast Offense and gives the Seahawks three capable wide receivers.

Bobby Engram is still the most sure-handed, but as long as Darrell Jackson remains healthy, he'll be the top target.

Tight end Jerramy Stevens output his best season as a Pro last year and although he is out for the early part of the season, he should be a Hasselbeck favorite in the red zone.

The Seahawks' defense figures to be much improved overall as they focused both free agency and the draft to add some more playmakers.

Linebacker Julian Peterson, who in the past has played at a league MVP-type level, was signed and figures to take any pressure of a sophomore slump off of LeRoy Hill and Lofa Tatupu. This is a first-rate unit with depth and game-changing ability at all three positions.

While teams like the San Diego Chargers, Pittsburgh Steelers, and Denver Broncos get a ton of credit for shutting down opposing rushing attacks, the Seahawks don't get much attention for the 3.6 yards per carry average they limited opposing running backs to last season.

Believe it or not, with the addition of Peterson, as well as another year of growth for Terrill, Bernard, and Tubbs, the Seahawks' run defense will be even better this year.

One common complaint voiced about the Seahawks' defense in the offseason was is there any depth behind the starting defensive ends Grant Wistrom and Bryce Fisher?

The Seahawks used a second-round pick to address that exact apprehension, selecting pass rushing specialist Darryl Tapp. He will work into the rotation and can handle himself as a temporary fill-in. In an emergency situation, Peterson could also play some end.

Even with the return of Ken Hamlin, the secondary is really the only weakness on the team.

Marcus Trufant is a quality starter, while the other starting spots will be up to Jordan Babineaux and Kelly Herndon in the short term. The Seahawks spent a first-round pick on Kelly Jennings, who will likely battle for the nickel role. Even though Herndon has had a good offseason, the Seahawks will look to the pass rush to hide any shortcomings in coverage.

Ken Hamlin's return was vital, especially after Mike Green suffered a season-ending injury in the preseason and he is going to be counted upon in the early going. Boulware is still bothered by a sore knee from offseason surgery.

The Seahawks have a few minor questions to answer, such as can Darrell Jackson and Michael Boulware get back to full health? Can Kelly Jennings or Kelly Herndon step up as the second cornerback this season? Can the running game be as effective post-Steve Hutchinson? But all of these seem to be minor questions to which we can tentatively answer: yes.

The level of competition in the NFC West is much easier than the South or the East, which means that the Seahawks should be able to secure home-field advantage throughout the playoffs once again. Nothing the Seahawks do seems to generate any attention — even traveling to the Super Bowl — and most of what they accomplish in the regular season will once again fly under the radar. That's a good thing for Seattle, who is the most dangerous championship threat in the NFC.

Over/Under: 10.5

Arizona, St. Louis, and San Francisco have all improved, but more importantly, so has Seattle's defense. With a stifling run defense and a top-notch pass rush, the 'Hawks will feast on the mediocre offensive lines in this division once again. Qwest field is one of the toughest places to play and 11 wins should be expected. They play: @DET, ARZ, NYG, @CHI, @STL, MIN, @KC, OAK, STL, @SF, GB, @DEN, ARZ, SF, SD, and @TB.

Fantasy Sleeper

Although tight end Jerramy Stevens is out for about four weeks, when he comes back, he figures to be an integral part of the offense. Without Joe Jurevicius, expect Stevens to be the main threat in the red zone. Mike Holmgren's offense puts a premium on using a tight end up the seams and Stevens is the best weapon for that. At this point, he's probably a waiver wire pickup, but he will have value when he returns.

This is the fourth consecutive season of comprehensive NFL previews by Dave Golokhov. Stay tuned as he brings you previews for all 32 NFL teams! He can be reached at [email protected].

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 9:45 PM | Comments (0)

Globalization Defeating the American Athlete

"I'm surprised at the number of elite athletes from around the world who are in the NBA as of 2006." NBA Commissioner David Stern made this comment when asked about the future of the NBA. For the 2006-2007 NBA season, approximately 100 of the NBA's 450 players will be from countries outside of the United States. But David Stern's surprise is rather disingenuous, as he readily admits the NBA's commitments to investing in Europe, South America, Africa, and China, to name a few, over the past decade.

"The China market is our most important and largest market outside the United States. China is clearly priority No. 1," Stern said, as he was interviewed from Guangzhou, China in early August 2006, where the U.S. National Basketball Team was playing in exhibition games prior to the World Championships in Japan. He went on to say that the NBA's business holdings in China are growing by 30% each year.

Stern hopes to double the NBA's staff from 50 to 100 at its three China offices in time for the Beijing Olympics in 2008. Stern has structured a marketing engine in China, ready to sell more NBA merchandise and apparel, expanding its online presence, offering live streaming of NBA games online and hopes to double its broadcasts of NBA games to 50 in the next few years. Stern has set his sights on the NBA playing regular season games in China, as well.

Although NBA.com/China was launched by the NBA in November 2002 and has had limited TV broadcasts since 1991, it currently has programming on 24 television outlets including on national TV station China Central Television, which broadcasts NBA games for free. NBA merchandise is sold in over 20,000 retail outlets throughout China and in 2005-2006 the NBA signed on with five new Chinese marketing partners. Recruitment of new talent cannot be overlooked either, with the NBA's appetite to diversify its player personnel. But one can only wonder how much benefit NBA players will realize from such investments.

But this is only part of the story, as there are many problems which still remain such as the rampant counterfeiting of NBA merchandise in China, which exists in every sector of marketed goods there, costing U.S. firms billions of dollars in lost revenues each year. In addition, censorship of broadcasts and limited internet access by the Chinese people is controlled by the Communist Chinese Party. China's persistent human rights and labor abuses are never discussed in a perfect NBA world, either, and why should they be? After all, the U.S. government pays but lip service to a trade partner and major creditor in China, which the U.S. economy is virtually dependent upon.

Prior to Stern's recent visit to China, back in the U.S. in June 2006, United States Olympic Committee (USOC) Chairman Peter Ueberroth signed a bilateral agreement with the China Olympic Committee. Titled the Memorandum of Intentions for Sport Exchanges Between the Chinese Olympic Committee and the United States Olympic Committee, it is designed to promote friendship and understanding between the two nations. According to Ueberroth, "We clearly need to reach out to every nation, no exception, and envelop friendship through sport," supposedly to give other countries a different perception of Americans.

But the agreement in friendship goes far beyond a mere symbolic gesture, just two years before the 2008 Beijing Olympics. It will provide the Chinese with the U.S. sharing of its expertise in coaching, its sports facilities, inroads in science and medicine, management, and marketing, among other things. It is arguable about how much the U.S will gain from China's implied reciprocity.

What is clear is that China looks at sports far differently than the U.S. does. Sports are not just games or a business or sheer entertainment for the Chinese. Elite athletes in China are trained to project national ambition. China's main intent is not to develop NBA stars, but for their athletes to be representative of the nation and that international competition is far more important than lending a few players to the NBA. But yet the Chinese are also smart in business and will suffer allowing a little entertainment for its people, on its own terms of course, while at the same time benefiting from millions of dollars in American business ventures.

And while the Chinese have different cultural objectives than the western world, other countries are about the individual. The NBA, the NCAA, MLB, and the NFL are about packaging those individuals in order to market the whole of their sports. And as all of the aforementioned are businesses, they look at the bottom line, even at the sake of opportunities for American athletes.

While the NBA has been successful in creating a myth that European players have better fundamental skills than American players, yet are inferior overall to the American NBA player, it all comes down to economics. Since the U.S. uses the NCAA primarily as its developmental league, and Europeans can sign professional contracts at age 16, the NBA signs European players and waits now until they are 19 years of age and drafts them directly into the NBA. But the NBA does not get the full scope of the player's skills, as they remain secluded in another country during development. The NBA however takes a gamble and figures that buying out a less than lucrative contract for a potential superstar is a better bet than having patience with an American who may have had a marginal NCAA career and may demand an overpriced contract.

Meanwhile, NCAA basketball is rabidly recruiting those foreign players who do not sign professional contracts abroad, or those who may have fraudulently made their way into the American collegiate system, which has been fully documented. It includes players from as far away as Australia, as in Andrew Bogut, the first overall NBA draft pick of 2005. Players are also brought in from Argentina, Brazil, Africa, all of Europe, Russia, and the West Indies, among others. However, the signing of such foreign students means less opportunity for American students, and some of whom who just wish to finance an education while at the same time doing so by playing basketball.

Yet, the majority of Europeans playing college basketball are not NBA material. And instead of playing in their home countries for a minimal salary, they instead get the good fortune of a free college education. According to Andrew Bogut, "Once you're here, you're kind of taken care of. A job isn't necessary if you're on a full scholarship."

"With a free education, three meals a day, and a nice dormitory, rather than complain about college cafeteria food, they think it's Morton's Steakhouse," says Fran Fraschilla, former St. John's University and University of New Mexico basketball coach, speaking of the foreign student athletes.

Think it is only basketball where Americans are losing ground? Aquatic athletes are coming to U.S. college campuses in droves. Since the modern Olympic Games, the U.S. has dominated in international aquatic competition. Australia has recently closed the gap. And the women's German swim team no longer dominates as it once did with the use of anabolic steroids, which existed in the pre-testing era when there was an East German team. China's use of steroids was also deterred upon testing positive in past Olympics with several of its women swimmers.

But now athletes are welcomed with opened arms to experience the best training in the world, only to go home and compete against the U.S. on the world's stage. Countries such as Germany, Malaysia, Finland, Sweden, Hungary, Italy, Estonia, Trinidad and Tobago, Brazil, Great Britain, Australia, Canada, Hungary, Kazakstan, and of course China, among many other countries, send their athletes to enroll in U.S. schools with the best swimming and diving programs. Such schools offer excellent academics as well including UCLA the University of California at Berkeley, the University of Southern California, the University of Minnesota, the University of Florida, and the University of Arizona.

And we cannot forget about the recent flood of professional tennis players and professional golfers making homes in the U.S. while seeking out U.S. trainers and coaches in order to increase their winning potential on the world circuits. Primarily among them are Russian women tennis players and Korean women golfers.

And while individual professional athletes are received differently than professional teams or college athletes in the U.S., the sports industry, including the USOC, wishes to change its image from that of competitor to that of being inclusive and politically correct. Should that come at the expense of funding Americans preparing for the Olympics or deprives American students from college educations all in the name of globalism, so be it. Yet, it will eventually defeat the U.S. athlete and impact morale and America's sense of competition.

And finally, the idea that white American players are not equipped to play in the NBA, but white European players are, including those who are not professionals and go through the same NCAA experience, is but a fallacy and has been perpetuated for far too long. The few exceptions to this myth are the newly-drafted Adam Morrison and J.J. Reddick, and past players John Stockton, Christian Laettner, and Chris Mullin, along with the great Larry Bird. It is simply wrong. Were Europeans the best players, it might be more acceptable.

But the increase of insourcing foreign players in the U.S. will become the new norm and the best athletes now, who are predominantly African-Americans, will be sacrificed. As aptly put by Kenny Smith, former NBA world champion and now TNT studio analyst for NBA games, "Something deeper and more complex than 'poor fundamentals' is at play here and young NBA players had better check it out."

The USOC, NBA, NCAA, MLB, and NFL simply cannot continue to dilute the American pool of athletes, while at the same time expecting Americans to dominate in their respective sports. Such hypocrisy is no better exhibited than by the NBA and the USOC, fearful that America no longer dominates basketball internationally as it once did, while the NBA in 2006 devotes 25% of its spots to foreign players.

It remains unfair and unrealistic for those Americans who aspire in the future to become college, Olympic, or professional athletes and eventual champions. For without America's resources and its full support, they will simply lose.

Posted by Diane M. Grassi at 9:16 PM | Comments (1)

Biggest NFL Questions Left Unanswered

The NFL preseason is a nuisance to the players that risk injury and after the first or second quarter, each game is boring, by most standards, to the fans. However, it is a necessity to the coaches in making final personnel decisions to begin the season.

Going into the 2006 preseason, one of the biggest unknowns was how three of the league's premiere quarterbacks would perform after significant injuries sustained during the 2005 campaign. By most accounts, Daunte Culpepper, Carson Palmer, and Drew Brees have capped their rehabilitation programs with stellar preseason showings.

Many other questions have been answered, as well. Rex Grossman was able to hold off Brian Griese for the Chicago Bears' starting quarterback role. Chad Pennington won back his starting quarterback spot for the New York Jets. Frank Gore will finally be the featured back in a terrible San Francisco 49ers offense.

Reggie Bush, Matt Leinart, Jay Cutler, and Vince Young each appear to be the real deal and will all contribute eventually, if not immediately, to their respective teams. Thomas Jones continues to be favored by his teammates and has held off Cedric Benson for the time as the Bears' starting running back.

The list of answered questions is lengthy, with many not summarized here. Still, there are some interesting situations that have not fully resolved themselves during the preseason action.

Who blinks first, Deion Branch or the New England Patriots? Embroiled in a difficult holdout, Branch has held firm to his demands for a new contract or a trade. New England seems to be equally resolute in their stance that Branch honor the final year of his contract. The Patriots granted Branch the opportunity to seek a trade. Interested teams were able to satisfy Branch's contract demands, but were unable to meet the compensatory requirements of the Patriots. The Players' Union has filed a grievance on behalf of Branch. This dispute could take months to sort out. In the meantime, the Patriots traded for Oakland wideout Doug Gabriel to try to plug the hole.

Who will win the battle of the Bells in Denver? Mike Shanahan continues his trend of keeping the league guessing as to who will be the starting running back for the Denver Broncos. Shanahan named the unheralded Mike Bell the starter early in the preseason. Many are questioning the sincerity of this designation, citing a possible ulterior motive of lighting a fire under Tatum Bell. Throw Cedric Cobbs into the mix and the waters are muddied even further. Picking who will be Denver's most productive back this year probably is about as difficult as selecting who the eventual Super Bowl champ will be — everyone has their best guess, but most will be wrong.

How many games will Terrell Owens play for the Dallas Cowboys this year? Bill Parcells and T.O. already have given glimpses of a potentially tempestuous relationship. T.O. implied that the team influenced his decision to come back to practice early and take too many reps resulting in a setback in his strained hamstring recovery. Parcells has reiterated his long-standing policy that players don't play unless they practice. Of course, the media is having a heyday stirring the pot. This situation is a ticking time bomb that makes for better drama than most primetime television. I wonder if Vegas has an over/under line on the number of games T.O. will play this year.

Will this be Brett Favre's last season? Favre took so long deciding whether to play this season that many assumed it would be his last. Now he is talking of playing beyond the 2006 season — and hasn't ruled out playing for a team other than the Green Bay Packers. Favre playing in a uniform other than Packers green and gold — sacrilege! Another related question is whether he will in fact survive this season with Green Bay's young, inexperienced offensive line. A repeat of last year's misery would most likely result in retirement or departure to more favorable circumstances.

The answers to these questions, and many others, will come as the season progresses. Great story lines and increasing parity in the league make for great entertainment. Enjoy the ride!

Todd Beckstead is founder of MonsterDraft.com, a fantasy football draft resource.

Posted by Todd Beckstead at 8:45 PM | Comments (0)

September 7, 2006

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 1 (Pt. 2)

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

N.Y. Jets @ Tennessee

With Steve McNair off to Baltimore, and rookie Vince Young not ready to take over, the Titans were left in quite a pickle as far as quarterbacking duties were concerned.

"Quite a pickle, you say?" says Titans head coach Jeff Fisher. "That gives me a great idea. Why don't we sign free agent quarterback Kerry Collins, who often enjoys being 'pickled' in addition to uttering the occasional offensive slur to a teammate? This is a great fit for him — all we had to do to convince him was to tell him that Tennessee is the home of the Jack Daniels' distillery."

It all was a sobering thought for Titans' quarterback Billy Volek, who expected to start but now finds himself the third-stringer. Too bad he doesn't play for the Jets — third-string in New York means lots of playing time once Chad Pennington's shoulder falls out of socket and the second-stringer plays like garbage.

The Jets begin a new era, the Eric Mangini era. Mangini comes over from New England, where he was a Bill Belichick disciple. So he shares Belichick's no nonsense approach, as well as his no-nonsense manner of dress. But give Mangini a year, or five, and the Jets will be on the winning trail. This is a rebuilding year; Habitat For Humanity is supposedly contributing to the cause.

The Jets were 0-8 on the road last year — they go to 0-1 this year. Kerry Collins throws two touchdown passes, then replenishes his depleted electrolytes with a cup of Gatorade, shaken, not stirred.

Titans win, 21-14.

Philadelphia @ Houston

The Texans made a bold decision to draft defensive end Mario Williams ahead of running back Reggie Bush. While many experts were skeptical of the choice, new Texans head coach Gary Kubiak defended the team's decision.

"It's not like the University of Southern California is some kind of tailback factory," explains Kubiak. "Is it?"

Well, they do call it "Tailback U." But, as long as the Texans are comfortable with the decision, then I can't fault you. Houston does have a sterling record when it comes to number one picks. How's that David Carr fellow working out?

In Philadelphia, quarterback Donovan McNabb began his "Take Back The Locker Room" campaign by burning a Terrell Owens jersey and moonwalking over the ashes.

"No hard feelings," says McNabb. "Ah, to heck with being nice. I hate T.O.'s guts. He was nothing but a thorn in my side, except when he was catching TD passes. Damn him! The Cowboys aren't at home this week, are they? Because if I'm in Houston and he's in Dallas, then he's too close to me."

Fear not, Donovan. T.O.'s in Jacksonville, so the worst that can happen is your planes cross paths. But if the sky is clear, give Owens the finger. He might be able to see it.

McNabb hits Michael Westbrook for a touchdown, and rushes for a score. McNabb then send Owens a bouquet of tofu with a note that says, 'See if you can figure this one out, chump.'

Eagles win, 21-10.

Seattle @ Detroit

The Seahawks return to the site of their Super Bowl last year, where they lost 24-14 to Pittsburgh, and 4-0 to the Super Bowl officials.

"I now realize that we'd been had," says Seahawks head coach Mike Holmgren. "Those weren't real NFL referees. They were Foot Locker salesman. Of course I think they made some terrible calls, but I did get me a nice pair of Air Jordans."

Good for you, Mike. Things could be worse. You could be the coach of the Lions, and be forced to make the decision of cutting one of your recent number one picks, wide receivers Charles Rogers.

"It was an easy decision to make," says new Detroit head coach Rod Marinelli. "Charles is a waste of talent. Just another blown No. 1 pick made by our illustrious general manager Matt Millen. In Matt's defense, he did sign Mike Martz in the offseason. I foresee some problems with that arrangement. I don't think Matt's told Mike that he's not the head coach."

The Seahawks begin defense of their NFC championship with a 23-16 win over the Lions.

Chicago @ Green Bay

What brought Brett Favre back for one more year of football in Green Bay? Why, surrrounding him with the most talented team with which he's ever been associated.

"I say this with a straight face," says Favre, wearing a ski mask. "This is the most talented team I've ever been around."

"Gosh, Brett," replies teammate Ahman Green, filling out the paperwork to pre-certify himself for the inevitable trip to injured reserve, "you must have played with some really crappy teams."

Seriously, Brett, are we supposed to believe your claim?

"Yeah, and Milwaukee's Best truly is the best beer made," adds Favre.

I guess Favre's future in this league isn't as a talent scout.

Coach Lovie Smith's Bears remain one of the league's most formidable defenses. It's offense where the Bears have issues.

"Honestly," says Smith, "this is the most talented offense I've seen since, since, ah, well, since the famous Green Bay offense of 2006. Those guys are loaded. It's going to take everything our defense has to stop that juggernaut."

The tundra in Green Bay isn't frozen — it's actually quite soft this time of year. About as soft as some warm, Wisconsin cheese, or the Packers' offense. The Bears' defense holds the Packers in check; they have to, otherwise they'd lose. Robbie Gould kicks four field goals, and Chicago wins, 19-9.

Dallas @ Jacksonville

Obviously, the most celebrated, albeit controversial free-agent signing of the year was Dallas' inking of Terrell Owens to a three-year, $25-million contract.

"It's an incentive-laden contract," says Cowboy ball-buster Bill Parcells. "If T.O. causes any trouble, I have the incentive to kick his tail. And I'm not afraid to do it. I demand effort and respect. Just look at Terry Glenn. Terry had problems in New England, but look at her now."

Jacksonville head coach Jack Del Rio, a linebacker in his playing days with the Saints, Chiefs, Cowboys, and Vikings, was the type of player Bill Parcells loves: hard-nosed, tough, vocal, always giving 110%.

"Yeah, just like Lawrence Taylor," says Parcells, "but without the cocaine, the affinity for strippers, the lightning bolt earring, and, oh yeah, the talent."

Anyway, Del Rio and his Jags are intent on proving that last year was a fluke: they aren't the worst 12-4 in NFL history.

"Last year, we beat both Super Bowl teams, Seattle and Pittsburgh," boasts Del Rio. "So, we've set that as our goal this year; to beat both Super Bowl teams."

Great, Jack. Do you know that means you won't be in the Super Bowl?

Will Terrell Owens start in this one? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Of course he will, if Dallas wants to win. Rest assured that Owens is at the top of the list on the Jags' game plan. But Drew Bledsoe is also on that list, and he moves much slower than Owens.

Jacksonville forces two Bledsoe turnovers, and Josh Scobee kicks a late field goal to give the Jags a 17-14 win.

San Francisco @ Arizona

Optimism is high in the desert. The signing of free agent running back Edgerrin James has given fans proof that management is committed to winning. The Cards will open the season in a brand new facility, and rookie quarterback Matt Leinart is signed and ready to go in case Kurt Warner gets hurt.

"I realize I was the last of the first round picks to sign," says Leinart. "I'm not greedy — I just wanted to make sure I was compensated fairly. For that, I have to thank the man that brokered the deal, Chinese super-agent Cha Ching. Sure, Drew Rosenhaus may have the Burger King, but Cha Ching's got me. And I can't wait to play in the Pink Taco."

"Hey, whatever they call their stadium," says San Francisco head coach Mike Nolan, "whether it be the Pink Taco or the Red Snapper, we don't care. I'm just glad the game is in Arizona. The last time we played the Cardinals on the road, I ended up in Mexico City with a terrible hangover."

San Fran second-year quarterback Alex Smith will look to improve on his performance. In fact, with two TD passes against the Cardinals, he would eclipse his total of one (1) from last year.

Arizona certainly has an edge at the offensive skill positions, with Warner, James, and their wide receiving dynamic duo of Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald.

That, and the privilege of playing in the Pink Taco carry the Cardinals to a 24-18 win.

Indianapolis @ N.Y. Giants

Since the NFL announced the 2006 schedule back in April, fans have been bristling with excitement about the first NFL matchup between the Manning brothers, Peyton and Eli. But few fans have considered the dilemma facing the parents of the two, Archie and Olivia Manning. Who will they pull for, Peyton or Eli?

"Actually, we're not even going to the game," says Archie. "We've devoted the last 30 years of our lives watching those punks play football. Frankly, we're sick of it. Besides, Peyton and Eli can't even behave themselves on a tour of ESPN studios. Why should we do what they want?"

The Colts/Giants matchup will be the first of NBC's Sunday Night Football package, with Dick Enberg and Merlin Olsen set to call the action, with Don Criqui roving the sidelines. What's that? Al Michaels and John Madden are calling this game? Oh my! That's too bad.

Anyway, the Colts and Giants both exited the playoffs last year with home losses in the divisional round. What does that mean? Absolutely nothing. I just thought you might like a reminder. But, seriously, Peyton will give little brother Eli a lesson in football, much like he has before, several times, except for that time in 1988, when Eli threw 10 balls through the swinging tire to Peyton's nine.

Peyton throws three touchdown passes, and the Colts stampede with a 29-24 win.

Minnesota @ Washington

Just because Vikings players have been banned from any and all boating activities doesn't mean that they are free from indiscretions. Take, for example, Vikings cornerback Dwight Smith, who just recently was charged with a misdemeanor for indecent conduct in a stairwell with a 24 year-old woman.

"Now, I've got to defend my player here," says new Vikings head coach Brad Childress. "Anything done in a stairwell should be indecent. Dwight's a good man. He doesn't have a history of violence; he was just looking for a little privacy so he could get his groove on with a hottie. It's not like he was on the upper deck of the Good Ship Lollipop with a bunch of skeezers for hire for all the world to see. Anyway, our team policy states that if the incident didn't involve Fred Smoot, then it's okay."

Joe Gibbs and company may be without running back Clinton Portis, who injured his shoulder while making a tackle in a preseason game.

"Yeah, I know," laments Gibbs. "Clinton shouldn't have even been out there, much less making a tackle. But did you see that tackle? He sidewalk slammed that guy! I think he was number one on the preseason 'Jacked Up!' list. And speaking of 'Jacked Up,' you should be able to enjoy Week 1's biggest hits on the ESPN pre-game show when four grown men, and Stuart Scott, yell 'Jacked Up!' as loud as possible. The Vikings? Oh, the Vikings. I'll tell you, that Brad Childress sure does have a cool mustache. Did he play the bartender on Gunsmoke?"

As always, Gibbs is prepared. Running back T.J. Duckett slams in a short touchdown run, and the 'Skins win a 16-13 slugfest.

San Diego @ Oakland

"Well, well, well," says Randy Moss over the airwaves of station WAAQ (The Wack) as his ham radio alter-ego 'DJ Madd Skillz,' "it looks like there's another wide receiver named 'Moss' in the league. Apparently, he's a Mexican, because his name is Senor Rice Moss, and he plays for the New York Giants."

Uh, Randy, his name is Sinorice Moss, and he's not a Mexican.

San Diego let Drew Brees go to free agency in the hopes that Philip Rivers was ready to take over at quarterback. Rivers may be the finest quarterback to come out of North Carolina State since Roman Gabriel. In fact, he may be the only quarterback to come out of N.C. State since Roman Gabriel. Rivers' quick release has been compared to that of Miami great Dan Marino.

"You can stop the comparisons right there," says Marino, relaxing on his yacht with Crockett and Tubbs, his two Labrador retrievers. "When he throws for 5,000 yards in a season, come talk to me."

Okay, Dan, see you in, well, I guess never.

Moss scores on a long pass from Aaron Brooks, but LaDainian Tomlinson and Antonio Gates are too much for the Raiders to handle. Each scores a TD, and the Chargers win, 27-23.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 9:02 PM | Comments (3)

2006 NFL Preview: San Francisco 49ers

Last Year

Since the 2003 season, the cash-strapped 49ers had been dumping key components while trying to cycle in a youth movement. Last season, they finally hit rock-bottom as they started a rookie quarterback and endured his growing pains. The good news is that the low point has passed in San Francisco and following a 4-12 season, things can only get better.

What We Learned From Last Year

With a four-win season, quite obviously, there is lots to pick apart.

Defensively, the 49ers were barely capable of stopping a AAA baseball team who casually plays football games once a week, never mind NFL offenses.

Offensively, I don't have an analogy to explain how bad they were.

Starting with the defense, the 49ers battled through a hoard of injuries. Former first-round pick Ahmed Plummer couldn't play through pain and only made three games. Pro Bowl caliber safety Tony Parrish was also limited to nine games.

With another first-round pick, Mike Rumph, continuing to be a bust, the 49ers quickly found themselves with few serviceable players in the secondary. One player who was decent was Shawntae Spencer. Only him and Parrish should be considered starters.

Rumph was moved around from safety to corner, and then back, but he was inadequate at every place.

Injuries also touched up the linebacking corps as Jeff Ulbrich only played five games. The starting tandem between him and Derek Smith is quite effective.

The 49ers tried to play the 3-4 defense, but they clearly lacked the necessary bulk required along the offensive front. That resulted in only 28 sacks — the third-lowest total in the NFL — and that did not mix well with the worst secondary in the NFL.

On offense, head coach Mike Nolan decided to start rookie quarterback and first overall selection Alex Smith from October on. He did only end up with one touchdown and 11 interceptions — a despicable ratio — but in his defense, he had very little help around him.

The offense line in front of him was much weaker than expected, particularly after the team shelled out big bucks for left tackle Jonas Jennings. He was limited to three games due to a shoulder injury, while center Jeremy Newberry missed the entire season.

The 49ers were implementing a youth movement along the offensive line. Rookie Adam Snyder, second-year lineman Justin Smiley, third-year player Kwame Harris, and fourth-year veteran Eric Heitmann all played a significant starting role, but quite obviously, there wasn't exactly a steady level of protection.

Smith shared starting time with Tim Rattay, but in seven starts, he was sacked 29 times.

Not only was he short on time to throw, he was also lacking weapons. Tight end Eric Johnson, virtually the only good target on the team, missed the entire season. He caught 82 passes in 2004 and was expected to be a valuable safety valve for Smith.

Brandon Lloyd was the big-play threat and faced a lot of defensive attention. Secondary wideouts Arnaz Battle and Johnnie Morton were not good enough to command attention.

One part of the offense that did experience some success was the running game. Kevan Barlow was outplayed by Frank Gore and Maurice Hicks, both of whom finished with better yards-per-carry averages.

The 49ers young offense is a year older and should, by the end of the season, be an effective unit. The defense, on the other hand, has a much steeper hill to climb.

This Year

While everyone is writing off the 49ers before even one regular season snap has been played, there is reason for lots of optimism.

For starters, the team will get a number of key contributors back from medical ward.

On offense, left tackle Jonas Jennings will be welcomed back and he expected to have a strong season. Veteran and perennial Pro Bowl guard Larry Allen will be starting right beside him and he should rub off some of his valuable experience on him.

Immediately, the left side of the line will be much stronger than it was last year. Now factor in a year of growth for center Eric Heitmann, right guard Justin Smiley, and right tackle Kwame Harris, who has looked much improved in the preseason, and the front five should be a quality unit in 2006.

The running game also figures to be improved now that Frank Gore has all carries to himself. As porous as the offensive line was and as meager as the passing attack was last season, he still averaged 4.8 yards per carry. He is one more year removed from his college injury and is poised for a breakout year. His backup, Maurice Hicks, is constantly knocked for not being big enough or fast enough, but all he does is produce. He is a quality backup.

Changes at wide receiver have seen the 49ers essentially swap out Brandon Lloyd for locker room cancer, yet impeccable talent Antonio Bryant, but it should still be an upgrade. Bryant has looked outstanding since signing as a free agent, but he has ruffled team chemistry in prior stints in Dallas and Cleveland. Wide receivers take a while to mature and that may be good news for the 49ers, who look to have found a real diamond in the rough in free agency.

Although the secondary targets have not really been upgraded, the 49ers will have a healthy passing attack if they can get both rookie and veteran tight ends Vernon Davis and Eric Johnson involved. Davis is a deep threat, who was supposed to be a prolific receiving threat and less of a blocker, but so far he's done the exact opposite. His blocking has earned him the starter's role and along with Bryant and Johnson, the 49ers have adequate passing weapons. The Chiefs and Chargers have proven that you can get by with a dynamic tight end and laggard wide receivers.

So with better protection, a better rushing attack and a better passing attack, you can expect Alex Smith to take a big stride forward in his second season. He will probably struggle in the early going but by about week eight, the 49ers will have the constituents of a competent offense.

While the offense has most of its pieces in place, the defense is still looking.

The secondary will start Shawntae Spencer, Walt Harris, Mike Adams, and Tony Parrish, but this is a marginal unit at best. Spencer is a decent second cornerback, while Walt Harris is about there, as well. He is a 10-year veteran and his skills are definitely wearing down. Parrish, who is expected to be the best player in the unit, has looked sluggish in the offseason and there are questions as to whether he has lost some pace after breaking his leg last season.

The linebacking group will be much improved with the return of Jeff Ulbrich. He and Derek Smith do not get much attention, but they clean up a ton of tackles each year. First-round pick Manny Lawson is a converted lineman, who will fit into the outside spot. He is expected to be an edge rusher when the team uses the 3-4, but they currently don't have the defensive line to employ it full-time. Brandon Moore would be the other starting outside linebacker in that case. All in all, the linebacking corps is the deepest position on defense.

The front four — or potentially front three — is clearly another weakness. Bryant Young, who recorded eight sacks in 13 games last season, is the only starting-caliber starter. Anthony Adams, Marques Douglas, and rookie Melvin Oliver have to prove they are more than just rotational contributors.

The 49ers are going to struggle again this season and there is no question about that. But with a much improved offensive line, a 1,000-yard rusher, a potential go-to wide receiver, and an explosive tight end, the offense should, at the very least, keep things interesting once they develop chemistry. Alex Smith has to grow this season, but most quarterbacks typically take a big step forward in their second season.

Over/Under: 5

The 49ers will not be much better record-wise to last year's 4-12 club, but what is important is for their young prospects to grow. They are still the piñata of the NFC West and they will have a top-10 draft pick next season for a third consecutive year. They play: @ARZ, STL, PHI, @KC, OAK, SD, @CHI, MIN, @DET, SEA, @STL, @NO, GB, @SEA, ARZ, and DEN.

Fantasy Sleeper

Frank Gore averaged 4.8 yards-per-carry and totaled 608 yards behind an anemic offense last season. As long as he remains healthy, he is going to surpass 1,000 yards. If Smith starts to connect with Bryant, Davis, and Johnson on a consistent basis, Gore will face less attention in the box and could develop into a number two fantasy running back by the end of the season.

This is the fourth consecutive season of comprehensive NFL previews by Dave Golokhov. Stay tuned as he brings you previews for all 32 NFL teams! He can be reached at [email protected].

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 8:40 PM | Comments (1)

Re-Draft, Playball in Five Years (Pt. 6)

Continued from part one, part two, part three, part four, and part five.

The problem with doing this series over two months is that baseball is a game of trends. One day, Rick Ankiel looks like the next Roger Clemens, and the next day he's your fourth outfielder ... in Class A.

For example, Francisco Liriano's stock has dropped some because of his injury concern — and then dropped some more because of some more injury concerns. Also, Delmon Young got called up from the minors, went on a tear, and is suddenly the best young hitter in the majors. I knew this flaw would exist when I started this wretched six-part series that has become five parts too long. But I figured all the prospects would have been called up by that time. Looks like I was wrong — that damn bat flip is making me look stupid.

Nevertheless, I forge forward to the finish line. Here are the first 25 picks:

1. Yankees — Albert Pujols
2. Red Sox — Felix Hernandez
3. Cubs — Francisco Liriano
4. Devil Rays — Scott Kazmir
5. Marlins — Jonathan Papelbon
6. Athletic — Joe Mauer
7. Braves — Justin Verlander
8. Tigers — David Wright
9. Cardinals — Miguel Cabrera
10. White Sox – Johan Santana
11. Mets — Jose Reyes
12. Indians — Grady Sizemore
13. Twins — Dontrelle Willis
14. Blue Jays — Jered Weaver
15. Angels — Ryan Howard
16. Astros — Carlos Zambrano
17. Reds — Hank Blalock
18. Padres — Mark Texeira
19. Diamondbacks — Brandon Webb
20. Mariners — Adam Dunn
21. Phillies — Ryan Zimmerman
22. Rockies — Josh Johnson
23. Nationals — Chase Utley
24. Dodgers — Nick Swisher
25. Giants — Brian McCann

And in "marathon runner barely making it to the finish line" fashion, I'll finish out this draft with the last five picks.

26. Texas Rangers

Are the Rangers really so pathetic? I mean I suppose they've done a decent job in recent history. But one thing — just one thing — is going to set them back 10 years.

The Alex Rodriguez signing.

They literally put all their eggs in the A-Rod basket, and then they dropped their basket on purpose because they realized that they were idiots for giving him so much money. High gas prices? I blame the Rangers and their $250 million spending spree.

So which direction do the Rangers go? This might be the easiest, yet most amusing pick for me to decide. They'll go with a 31-year-old shortstop who might or might not be past his prime in five years. They'll go with the player who could be the best in the history of the game, but they'll hope for a Barry Bonds-like late-30s, early-40s resurgence.

The picks: Alex Rodriguez

27. Milwaukee Brewers

Is it just me, or has the sixth installment of this "Universe Draft" made me a bitter writer?

It's just me.

But part of it is that these teams are easy to make fun of. And it's also fun to put them in ironically bad situations, partly because baseball futility is funny to me, and partly because these comedic decisions I'm making for the teams is probably the closest to a real simulation you'll ever get (see: Jeff George signing).

So who do the Brewers want? Well, if this is a matter of pride, which probably is for Bud Selig's former team, then they're going to want to keep one of their two prized prospects that they nurtured since they drafted them — Prince Fielder or Rickie Weeks.

I don't know about you, but a guy named Prince is hard to pass up. Plus, maybe Cecil will come back and play a few games. Now that would make this pick worth it's weight in gold (wait, what is this pick's weight in gold?).

The pick: Prince Fielder

28. Baltimore Orioles

Who is the only player to ever turn a flyball 15 feet short from the fence into a home run? He's also a pretty good late-blooming outfielder, and the Orioles' next pick.

The pick: Alex Rios

29. Pittsburgh Pirates

Oh, the Pirates. Ever since one of the great players left, they've never been the same. They've worked hard to replace him, but all they've gotten was Jason Kendall (please, reader, sense the sarcasm ... please). Because they have worked so hard to replace Don Slaught, I will give them a gift of a catcher. I'm actually a big fan of this guy, and I can see him having a Kendall-like career — hopefully, the Pirates won't be too disappointed with that.

The pick: Russell Martin

30. Kansas City Royals

Through all 29 picks, I've been waiting for this moment because:

1. It's my hometown Royals
2. It's the last pick
3. And I'm going to let Allard Baird be the GM for this pick

Does anyone remember Colt Griffin? He was the first high school pitcher to ever be clocked at 100 mph. Want to know what he's doing now? Well, five years after he was drafted, he recently announced his retirement.

Baird and Co. were bedazzled by young pitcher who could throw hard, and do little else. New GM Dayton Moore is a baseball genius in my mind, so if it were up to him, he'd take Rickie Weeks. But it's not up to him, because we're playing by my rules.

So with the last pick of the Universe Draft, the Royals select (enter dramatic music, and cue the sappy Mr. Irrelevant story)...

The pick: Joel Zumaya

Posted by Alvin Chang at 8:16 PM | Comments (0)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 25

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth assumed the points lead with a seventh-place finish at California, his 15th top-10 of the year. He edged past Jimmie Johnson in the points, and now leads him by nine points.

"I guess you would have to say I'm the favorite to win the Cup now," says Kenseth. "And I seem to be the only member of the Roush Racing family that can handle the pressure to make the Chase. Those other guys need to adjust the 'choke' setting in their engines."

2. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson, who had led the points since Daytona, relinquished the lead to Matt Kenseth, and now trails by nine heading into the final race before the Chase begins.

"You've heard of football teams resting their starters when they've clinched a playoff spot?" asks Johnson. "We've do that as well. In fact, I wasn't even driving the car. Hendrick let their fourth-stringer take the wheel — that would have been Brian Vickers."

3. Jeff Gordon — Gordon's tenth top-five of the year, a fifth in Fontana, all but sealed him a spot in the Chase. He trails points leader Matt Kenseth by 387, and is 102 ahead of Kasey Kahne in eleventh.

"It would have been nice to win a race in my state of birth," says Gordon. "And with esteemed California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger in attendance. That dude really pumps me up.”

4. Kevin Harvick — Harvick finished 15th in Fontana, and remained third in the points, where he trails Matt Kenseth by 342 points. Harvick clinches a spot in the Chase with a 40th or better finish in Richmond.

"I could do that blindfolded," says Harvick, "and in reverse. And, I could probably finish 40th in all of the remaining eleven Busch races and still clinch the title."

5. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. — Earnhardt's runner-up finish in Fontana solidified his Chase hopes, improving his standing in the points from ninth to sixth. In Richmond, Earnhardt simply needs a finish of sixteenth or better to clinch his place in the Chase.

“I've got to hand it to my crew chief, Tony Eury,” says Earnhardt. “A couple of weeks ago, he told me I needed to get into the 'zone.' Well, I took his advice and went to Auto Zone. But Tony cleared it up and told me he didn't mean Auto Zone. He meant the 'zone.' I'm in it, now.”

6. Kyle Busch — Busch needs a finish of 22nd or better in Richmond to punch his ticket to the Chase. After an eighth in Fontana, Busch stands 394 out of first and 95 ahead of Kasey Kahne in 11th.

"I've got to keep my eyes on Kahne on Sunday," says Busch. "He can be a very intimidating driver, like he was in last Saturday's Busch race when his car sported the Snuggle Fabric Softener paint scheme. Almost as intimidating as my car with Tony the Tiger on the hood.”

7. Denny Hamlin — Hamlin's 13th top-10 result of the year put his Chase aspirations in good standing. With a finish of 16th or better in Richmond, Hamlin clinches a spot in the Chase.

"Who would have thought that the rookie teammate of the defending Nextel Cup champion would be in such a good position?" says Hamlin. "Certainly not Tony Stewart. But Tony has really given me some great advice this year — fortunately, I haven't taken any of it.”

8. Tony Stewart — Stewart finished ninth in the California 500, and maintained his position of eighth in the points standings. He is only 45 points ahead of Kasey Kahne in 11th.

"It's like my good friend Alfred E. Neumann from Mad Magazine always says,” Stewart comments. “'What, me worry?' I'll be in the Chase to defend my title. NASCAR wants a bag guy — I'm that bad guy.”

9, 10, 11 (tie). Mark Martin/Jeff Burton/Kasey Kahne — The final two spots in the Chase will go to one of these three drivers. Martin rebounded from his 28th in Bristol to post a 12th in California. Burton finished 16th at Fontana and trails Martin by two points. Kahne did what he absolutely had to do in Fontana: win while leading the most laps.

"I guess we better get used to hearing David Bowie's 'Under Pressure,' says Kahne. "And Queen's 'Another One Bites the Dust.' And Beck's 'Loser.' They all will apply to someone on Saturday.”

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 8:00 PM | Comments (0)

September 6, 2006

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 1 (Pt. 1)

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Miami @ Pittsburgh

The NFL loves feeding us season-openers involving a former Minnesota Viking challenging the defending Super Bowl champs. Last year, Randy Moss joined the Raiders for a Thursday night butt-whooping courtesy of the Patriots. This time, former Viking quarterback Daunte Culpepper is a Dolphin, and his intentions are to make the Dolphins a playoff team.

"And we start by beating the Steelers," boasts Culpepper. "Bon voyage, Vikings. Who wants to fish in Lake Minnetonka when I've got the entire Atlantic Ocean in which to cast my pole? Really, what are the Vikings without myself and Moss?"

Apparently, Daunte, they're contenders.

While it's safe to say Culpepper won't arrive at Heinz Field by boat, it's an even safer bet to say Steelers signal-caller Ben Roethlisberger won't arrive by motorcycle. But he will arrive with a Super Bowl ring, and some reconstructive surgery that would make even the Six Million Dollar man envious.

"I feel great," says Roethlisberger. "I'm better, stronger, faster, and I suddenly have incredible vision. I'm ready to take on the Dolphins, the NFL, the world, for that matter. And Sasquatch wouldn't have a chance against me and my new agent, Oscar Goldman."

Well, Big Ben felt great. An emergency appendectomy on Sunday rendered him incapable of playing on Thursday. Apparently, Ben can't keep himself out of the hospital.

The Dolphins finished strong last year, and are a trendy pick to win the Super Bowl. But, the Steelers are defending Super Bowl champs, and they're at home. But without Roethlisberger, the Steelers offense will be sluggish, which makes this game even more of a defensive battle.

Dolphins pull the upset, 17-16.

Atlanta @ Carolina

Who's logged more mileage on a bicycle this summer? Floyd Landis? Okay, who's logged more mileage on a bicycle this year and doesn't pass 140 proof urine? Well, it would have to be Steve Smith or Terrell Owens, who have nursed their injured hamstrings by pedaling through training camp on stationary bikes.

"Obviously, I'd like to be on the field practicing," says Smith. "I'm not, but the bike gives me the opportunity to do a lot of thinking. Like about the playbook, routes, patterns, defensive tendencies, and two Panthers cheerleaders in a bathroom stall. That always gets me pedaling too fast."

Atlanta quarterback Michael Vick has a new target in Ashley Lelie, who whined his way out of Denver just as Javon Walker whined his way out of Green Bay.

"Wait, is Lelie coming to Atlanta expecting to get the ball more than he did in Denver?" asks Vick. "Unless he's a tight end, I probably won't even throw the ball to him. Oh yeah, and he might get more catches if he were a starter."

So, who will fire the first salvo in what looks to be a very competitive NFC South race? The Panthers have one of the league's best defensive fronts and an improving secondary. Atlanta's passing game can't keep up with that of the Panthers. Smith catches a long touchdown pass from Jake Delhomme, and Smith gladly accepts the penalty for his "riding the bicycle" touchdown celebration.

Carolina wins, 26-17.

Baltimore @ Tampa Bay

It was a busy offseason for the Ravens. Linebacker Ray Lewis took a stab at free agency, running back Jamal Lewis enjoyed a summer in which "two-a-days" didn't refer to his exercise privileges in the federal penitentiary, and the Ravens signed former Tennessee Titan Steve McNair at quarterback.

"I realize the Ravens brought me here for one reason," McNair explains, "and that's to keep Kyle Boller off the field. I don't understand, because from what I've seen, Kyle Boller's done a pretty good job of keeping Kyle Boller off the field."

In Tampa Bay, daddy's boy Chris Simms is the quarterback, but the offense is by no means as vanilla as Simms. Mainly because of running back Cadillac Williams, who, if he remains healthy, will challenge for the NFC rushing title.

Defense is always a constant in Tampa Bay, and Baltimore, for that matter. But the Bucs are at home, and according to bookies in Vegas, home-field is worth about three points. And having a pirate ship in the end zone has to be worth one-and-a-half more; two-and-a-half if captained by Jack Sparrow; seven-and-a-half if Kierra Knightly is anywhere on the ship. Tampa's defense dominates. McNair is picked off twice, and Jamal Lewis moved the chains faster when they were shackled to his ankles.

Bucs win, 17-9.

Buffalo @ New England

Tom Brady is still upset over the Patriots' loss to the Broncos in last year's AFC divisional playoff game.

"I'm furious," says Brady, "but my charm and good looks won't allow it to show. But I'm steaming on the inside. Losing to Jake Plummer in a playoff game? That's like Coach [Bill] Belichick beating me out for an appearance on the cover of GQ. It shouldn't happen."

Well, Tom Terrific, how do you think Kelly Holcomb feels about losing the Bills starting quarterback job to J.P. Losman?

The Bills kicked it old school in the offseason, hiring octogenarian Marv Levy as general manager.

"That naturally gives us an advantage over every other team in the NFL," says Losman.

Why? Because Levy lead the Bills to four straight Super Bowl appearances in the '90s?

"No," Losman replies. "He's an octogenarian. The dude's got eight arms. You know he can get the job done."

With Deion Branch holding out and David Givens off to Tennessee, Brady will have to adjust to new receivers. But he's still got linebacker Mike Vrabel to catch his passes, so no worries. Brady throws two TD passes, and Losman is sacked three times.

Patriots win, 30-13.

Cincinnati @ Kansas City

The sequel to John Steinbeck's The Winter of Our Discontent will soon be hitting bookshelves in Cincinnati.

"Yeah, it's called The Summer of Our Malcontents," says Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis. "It's about all the knuckleheads who had run-ins with the law during the offseason. You name it, they did it. Let's see, DUI, brandishing a firearm, marijuana possession, providing alcohol to a minor. And that's just Chris Henry."

Indeed. The situation is so bad that the city of Cincinnati has hired its own superhero to fight crime committed by Bengals. And many of the city's most well-behaved elementary students have been sent to Paul Brown Stadium to counsel the players on their behavior. And, instead of asking for autographs, many fans are instead requesting fingerprints from their favorite players. On a good note, the sequel to Snakes on a Plane is already under production — it's called Bengals on a Plane.

"The behavior of those players brings a tear to my eye," says Chiefs coach Dick Vermeil. "Wait a minute. I don't coach the Chiefs anymore. Still, I can't help but shed a tear for those poor, misguided Bengals."

Vermeil retired, again, and the Chiefs pried Herman Edwards away from the Jets.

"Pried?" asks Edwards. "Oh no, I left willingly. And, by the way, I picked Larry Johnson in my fantasy draft and I plan to give him at least 40 touches a game."

Of course, Johnson is the key to the Chiefs' season, but Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer, as well as Paris Hilton, will tell you that two Johnson's are better than one. One hundred yards from running back Rudi and 100 from wide receiver Chad are more than Kansas City's defense can handle.

Benglas win, 31-27.

Denver @ St. Louis

The Broncos made it all the way to the AFC championship Game last year, then the real Jake Plummer stood up, turning the ball over four times as Denver fell 34-17 to Pittsburgh. That sent Broncos head coach Mike Shanahan home, where he holed up in his "John Elway" room and mapped a plan to find the next Elway, who carried Shanahan to two Super Bowls. That man is quarterback Jay Cutler, the Broncos' first-round pick and the third quarterback taken in the draft.

"I was feeling no pressure up until now," says Cutler. "It's a great situation to be in here in Denver. You can join the 'Mile High Club' and you don't even have to be in a plane. And Jake Plummer has taken me under his wing and given me some great pointers. Like proper road rage procedure, how to flip off a heckling fan, and growing a raggedy playoff beard."

The Mike Martz era ended in St. Louis without much fanfare, and Scott Linehan takes over a squad that went 6-10.

"There's one main difference in Mike Martz and I," comments Linehan. "I actually realize I have a running back named Steven Jackson."

The Broncos and Rams both have balanced offenses, with strong rushing attacks and deep threats in the passing game. The difference is on defense, where the Rams ranked 30th last year. They won't be able to stop the Broncos when it counts. Plummer throws a touchdown pass and a running back with the last name of Bell scores a TD.

Denver wins, 26-20.

New Orleans @ Cleveland

"Hey, NFL, does this count as one of our home games?" asks Saints wide receiver Joe "Me So" Horn into a cell phone that he had stashed in a bottle of shampoo he sneaked over on the flight from New Orleans.

No, Joe. The Saints get a full compliment of home games in New Orleans, and none in New York. But you have to wait until Week 3 before the Saints return to the Superdome, where fans will get a look at rookie sensation Reggie Bush. Also, the team has added a new feature inside the dome: a huge television replay monitor called the "Gumbo Tron."

The Browns had a decent defense last year, ranking 16th overall, but their offense was ineffective, ranking 25th. Part of the problem was injuries; tight end Kellen Winslow and wide receiver Braylon Edwards missed all or most of the season due to injuries.

"It was like there was an invisible fence on the goal line," says quarterback Charlie Frye, "and we were all wearing shock collars. But our offense will be better as long as we're healthy and Kellen doesn't try to go X-Games in the parking lot on a motorcycle. And defensively, we've got help coming in the form of Willie McGinest and Ted Washington, who are old enough to be Reggie Bush's daddy."

Frye hits Winslow with a TD pass, and a raucous Dawg Pound watches a dominating defensive effort.

Browns win, 23-10.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 9:51 PM | Comments (0)

College Football Predictions: Week 2

I am going to write this column every week a few days in advance of Saturday's games (likely Wednesday's). The betting lines might change by game time, as could my opinion in some cases, so take these selections for what they are worth. This article is meant to give insight into the given games from a point-spread standpoint. I am not suggesting that any of you bet these games, and I certainly recommend investigating the legalities of wagering in your jurisdiction before considering doing so.

I am going to rate these potential plays as 1*, 2*, or 3* with:

1* = Gun to my head, I'd play the team listed (risky)
2* = A good chance of covering; a worthy play (fairly confident)
3* = I would be play for a large chunk of money (very confident)

Illinois +11 vs. Rutgers, 12:00 PM, ESPN

The first thing that jumps out at me is that Rutgers is an 11-point favorite here against a Big 10 school. I never thought I'd see the day. Rutgers has probably earned this distinction though coming off a winning season last year, and an impressive road victory last week against North Carolina.

Illinois has been awful the last couple of years, but have allegedly increased the talent level under the guidance of second-year coach Ron Zook. They cruised in their opener against division I-AA Eastern Illinois, although I am really not sure that means a whole lot. Their first true test will come this week.

This game is a tough call. Rutgers has proven they can get it done, but I wonder how much more talented, if at all, they really are than their visitors from the Midwest. The big number is suspicious, but I'd take the points in this spot.

The play: Illinois 1*

Syracuse +18 vs. Iowa, 3:30 PM, ABC

I'm not really certain there has been a major college football program that has performed worse than Syracuse over the last calendar year. They have been truly, truly awful, and the '06 campaign began last week with an uninspired 10-point loss at Wake Forest.

Iowa was a disappointing 7-5 last year, and they blew a couple of winnable contests in route to this record. They are considered the third best team in the Big 10 by most and are a darkhorse BCS contender. They opened '06 with a workman like 41-7 victory over division I-AA Montana.

I can understand why Iowa would look tempting here given how bad Syracuse has looked over their last dozen games, but the Carrier Dome provides a unique home field advantage for Syracuse, and Iowa has traditionally had major problems on the road under Kirk Ferentz. I think Iowa wins outright, but I don't think it will be all that easy.

The play: Syracuse 2*

Notre Dame –8 vs. Penn State, 3:30 PM, NBC

There is rarely value in playing a highly-ranked name school, especially when said school is Notre Dame. The Irish may be more overrated this season than they have been in the past, which is saying a ton.

Penn State, on the other hand, is coming off a very good '05 campaign, and have a reemerged as a trendy pick in their own right. They opened this season breaking in a new QB, Anthony Morelli, and he looked solid against Akron in a 34-16 victory.

The thing that has me perplexed about this game is that you could have had Penn State at +14 for this game two weeks ago. The line has shifted six points. One could argue that some smart money has hit the PSU side of this one, but I am not sure that is the case.

I've read lots about how Notre Dame was "unimpressive" against Georgia Tech, which confuses me. They won outright in a hostile environment against a very tough defense. Penn State might have more overall talent than Georgia Tech, but they have to travel to South Bend, and Morelli will have to put up a lot of points because PSU's defense won't contain Notre Dame like Georgia Tech's did.

The play: Unbelievably, Notre Dame 1*

Boston College +3 vs. Clemson, 3:30 PM, ABC

Clemson creamed Florida Atlantic in their opener, and more than a few people have touted them as a legitimate threat to win the entire ACC. They possess lots of speed on both sides of the ball.

Boston College did not look overly impressive in their opening win at Central Michigan. In fact, CMU had Boston College on its heels late in this one before deciding to try their own variation of the swinging gate play. The trick play derailed CMU's hopes of taking BC into overtime.

I can't make a strong case for Boston College on paper. Everything seems to point towards Clemson, but the same was true last year in Death Valley, and Boston College came away with an outright victory in overtime. BC is an ugly home dog here, and I make my bones playing ugly home dogs. I expect most of the world to be on Clemson this weekend, so I'll take the points in what should be another low-scoring affair.

The play: Boston College 3*

South Carolina +3 vs. Georgia, 7:45 PM, ESPN

Georgia opened with an easy victory over Western Kentucky, but neither option at quarterback looked very promising against the weakest of competition. This puts Mark Richt in a sticky spot as he leads his team into a hostile environment at night.

South Carolina had issues on offense last week as well, although at least they were facing a legitimate defense in Mississippi St. They will need more than 91 yards passing from Blake Mitchell this week to have a shot in this one.

This game shapes up very similar to the aforementioned contest. A flashy, ranked school giving only a small number on the road against a conference opponent is sure to look attractive to the betting public. Georgia is unsettled at quarterback, and this should allow South Carolina to beef up against the Georgia rushing attack. I'll take a shot with the Ol' Ball Coach at home.

The play: South Carolina 3*

Texas –2.5 vs. Ohio State, 8:00 PM, ABC

This is the big one. No. 1 vs. No. 2, the winner of this game will take a huge step towards earning a trip to Glendale in early January. It's pertinent to be cautions when evaluating these "big" games. This game has tons of hype, but that does not mean you have to bet it bigger than normal or at all. A lot of times the more hyped games end up being coin flips from a sports wagering perspective.

Ohio State's offense is very dangerous, everyone knows this by now, but if anyone has the athletes on defense to make the Buckeyes earn their points, it's Texas. Ohio State still has major concerns on defense, and while Texas is young at quarterback, they do bring a proven rushing attack to the table. Ohio State's defense will have to tackle much better this week than they did against NIU in the opener to have a chance.

Last year, Texas went into Ohio State, and in my opinion, stole a victory from OSU. Ohio State was the better team on that night, and they may very well be the better team come this Saturday, but this line looks like bait to lure people into betting Ohio State. I like Texas' rushing game at home against an inexperienced Ohio State defense. No. 1 falls on Saturday.

The play: Texas 2*

Please keep in mind that I am evaluating the most popular games for the purposes of this article. These games are not necessarily the best options available. You can more picks, results, and opinions on sports wagering at Ryan Hojnacki's website. This article is for entertainment purposes only. Sports wagering is not legal is most jurisdictions in the U.S. Sports Central does not encourage any individual to partake in illegal activities and holds no responsibility for actions taken as a result of this article. Check with your local laws before engaging in any wagering activities.

Posted by Ryan Hojnacki at 9:30 PM | Comments (1)

2006 NFL Preview: San Diego Chargers

Last Year

In the eyes of many, the San Diego Chargers were one of the best teams to never make the playoffs last year. But with a leaky secondary and incessant implementation failures, the Chargers have nobody to blame but themselves. The offense is now under the guidance of Philip Rivers, but the Chargers can't expect to contend with him in his first starting season.

What We Learned From Last Year

The Chargers looked like such a strong team in the early going last season, but their secondary was really their downfall. They held a fourth-quarter lead in each of their four losses, going into the final frame with the ahead on the scoreboard in three of those losses, but failed to hold on.

The front seven, led by veteran and Pro Bowl nose tackle Jamal Williams, was outstanding. Opposing offenses found little room to run against the stingiest run defense in the NFL, which allowed only 84.3 yards on the ground per game.

Rookie of the year to be Shawne Merriman joined a linebacking corps that already boasted solid veterans Donnie Edwards and Randall Godfrey in the middle, and burgeoning prospect Ben Leber on the outside. "Lights Out" was exactly that, provide a spark on several occasions, along with 57 tackles and 10 sacks.

Up front, the Chargers other first-round pick, Luis Castillo, also played at a high level.

But the main weakness was the secondary.

The grouping was littered with high draft picks, such as first-rounders Quentin Jammer, Jamar Fletcher, and Sammy Davis, but Jammer was the only decent player. He was still beat on several occasions — almost at will of the opposing quarterback. Drayton Florence was also mediocre for a group that was better in run support, than pass defense. The cornerbacks, as a whole, only totaled three interceptions. Furthermore, they had no excuses because the Chargers pass rush was extremely potent with 46 sacks.

The same can be said for the safeties, as Bhawoh Jue, Terrence Kiel, and Clinton Hart gave up a lot of yards in the passing game.

On offense, the Chargers were still a potent bunch, but were not as strong as they slipped from the third scoring offense in 2004 to the sixth scoring offense in 2005.

Drew Brees also wasn't as sharp last year as his breakout season in 2004. That year, he totaled 27 touchdowns versus only seven interceptions, compared to the 24 touchdowns and 15 interceptions he threw last year.

A big reason for the slip was the declining play of the offensive line. The Chargers lost offensive line coach Hudson Houck to the Miami Dolphins in the offseason and his departure was felt. With him, the Chargers allowed only 21 sacks in 2004 (fourth-best in NFL) and without him, Brees felt much more pressure as the line permitted 31 sacks (14th-best in NFL).

A combination of an arduous schedule and shaky play from the offensive line was really the difference between the offenses that the Chargers fielded in the previous two seasons.

LaDainian Tomlinson was still strong as ever, again handling 339 carries and posting a career-best 18 rushing touchdowns.

The third deadly weapon of the offense was Antonio Gates and he too set new career benchmarks for receptions and yards.

Without Drew Brees, the Chargers will take another step back offensively because Philip Rivers has not gotten his feet wet as an NFL starter yet. But the franchise believes in him and he has been a winner at every level of football throughout his career. This will be a developmental season and the Chargers' success is contingent on Rivers leading this team and making minimal mistakes.

This Year

The Chargers have failed to make the playoffs in nine of the last 10 seasons and they don't look to have the poise to end the drought this year.

While they do return a winning team that likely would have ventured into the postseason last year had they not faced an extremely difficult schedule, there is going to be a big drop-off in play at the quarterback position.

Rivers is a proven winner — he led NC State to four bowl games and three wins — and it is only a matter of time before he is a very good NFL starter. But the bottom line is that right now the Chargers will have to endure a level of inconsistency.

Situations like the one that the Steelers went through, where rookie Ben Roethlisberger led them to a 15-1 record and an AFC Championship appearance, are very rare. They should rather expect — and hope for — a season similar to Carson Palmer's first full year of starting in 2004, when the Bengals were 8-8 and Palmer finished the season by establishing himself as a premier quarterback.

As a whole, the Chargers are still a few bricks short of a load.

With the likes of up-and-comers Shane Olivea, Kris Dielman, and Nick Hardwick on the offensive line, as well as incoming second-round draft pick Marcus McNeill, the front five should be secure. One caveat, though, is that McNeill has to protect Rivers' blind side right from the get-go because Romen Oben is out for at least the first six weeks with a sting on the PUP list.

Tight end Antonio Gates and running back LaDainian Tomlinson are, quite obviously, the proven commodities.

But even so, the Chargers are still fairly thin at wide receiver. Entering his 15th season, Keenan McCardell leads the group, but he is now 36-years-old. He is still an excellent possession receiver, but his speed declines each progressive season. At his age, most teams would prefer he be the number two wideout because he could hit the wall at any point.

But the Chargers don't have many options. Eric Parker has increased his yardage total and receptions in each of his four NFL seasons, but he has yet to top 57 catches or 4 TDs. Rounding out the below average grouping is Kassim Osgood and Vincent Jackson.

The only big play threat that is available in the passing game is Gates and it is because of him that the Chargers can get by in the regular season with this average group of wide receivers.

On defense, a lethal front seven returns everyone minus Ben Leber, who was pushed to the bench by the end of last season anyways.

Up front, Pro Bowl nose tackle Jamal Williams returns and another year of growth for ends Luis Castillo — a rookie last season — and Igor Olshansky signifies better production.

The linebacking corps is deep, but there is a few concerns about the first line starters. Veteran Donnie Edwards wants out of town and is in the last year of his contract. Sometimes unhappy players will go into a hibernation mode in the last year of their pact in order to prevent any injury that might hamper them in free agency.

The second concern is the recent altercation that Steve Foley had with the police, which resulted in him taking three bullets. Foley was expected to start on the outside, but it is unclear where or if he can return.

This is not good news, especially since Leber departed via free agency, but the good news is that there is depth. Stephen Cooper and Matt Wilhelm are solid prospects in the middle while Shaun Phillips, who finished with more sacks than Foley last season, can start in a pinch. Phillips, a third-year player, was essentially being groomed to replace him.

The secondary will get some help in the form of first-round pick Antonio Cromartie, who is a gifted athlete, but he missed all of his junior season at Florida State with an ACL injury. He is going to be very raw in the early going, but the Chargers hope that they have finally found a reliable starter.

Starters Quentin Jammer and Drayton Florence allow big plays every week and don't often make many of them. It was surprising to see the Chargers sign Jammer to an extension: he only has two interceptions over his last 36 games.

Marlon McCree, a free agent signing, will definitely upgrade the safety spot, but it would be naïve to think that this secondary has vastly improved.

If they have, and Rivers is consistent, and the receivers excel, and Marcus McNeill holds up, and the Chargers have found a way to hold onto fourth quarter leads, then this is a playoff team.

But there are four skeptical "ands" in the previous sentence and there are too many uncertainties for this unit to be making a playoff appearance.

Over/Under: 9

The Chargers were 3-3 in their division last season and unless they can get a sweep from Oakland — which will be an arduous task considering they have to play in The Coliseum on opening night — they will likely finish with the same in-house record. Their out-of-division record is going to be much easier this season with the Chiefs feeling a sense of urgency and the Broncos returning as the West champs, the Chargers will be hard-pressed finishing higher than third. They play: @OAK, TEN, @BAL, PIT, @SF, @KC, STL, CLE, @CIN, @DEN, OAK, @BUF, DEN, KC, @SEA, and ARZ.

Fantasy Sleeper

Carson Palmer's second season in the NFL — his first as a starter — was mired by inconsistency early on, but in his final six games, he caught fire, throwing for 1429 yards, 13 touchdowns, and 8 interceptions. Rivers does not have the same type of offensive line or weapons around him, but he should be a viable fantasy starter by about Week 10.

This is the fourth consecutive season of comprehensive NFL previews by Dave Golokhov. Stay tuned as he brings you previews for all 32 NFL teams! He can be reached at [email protected].

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 8:07 PM | Comments (0)

September 5, 2006

NFL Preseason Power Rankings

There's always a lot to say at the beginning of the season, so I'll keep the introduction short. For longtime readers, welcome back: this is my fifth season doing NFL power rankings for Sports Central, and you're the reason for that. Thank you. New readers, I hope you enjoy the column and that you'll check back throughout the season.

New rankings are posted every Tuesday of the regular season. One very important note is that rankings are for right now. A team's ranking this week indicates how good I think they'll be in Week 1, not necessarily how good they'll be this season. Brackets show predicted regular season record.

1. Carolina Panthers [11-5] — This is a very good team without Kris Jenkins, but if he can stay healthy and play the way he did two or three years ago, it's a great team. Keyshawn Johnson's presence means that Jake Delhomme may throw to more than one player this year, and Keyshawn's blocking skills should help to open up the running game for DeShaun Foster and DeAngelo Williams.

2. Indianapolis Colts [13-3] — There's something missing, and I don't know what it is. The team is great, with strength at every position. The Colts should be fine in the regular season — heck, they should be fantastic — but they've proven repeatedly that they'll give away big games to teams they should beat, and I won't take the Colts to win their conference.

3. Seattle Seahawks [12-4] — A few changes aside, the team that went 13-3 and won last year's NFC Championship Game is basically intact, and should easily win the NFC West, which remains the league's weakest division. Matt Hasselbeck seems to have come into his own as a quarterback, which gives the team more options on offense, but if Mike Holmgren tries to change the formula that worked last year — run first, pass later — the team will stutter.

4. New England Patriots [12-4] — Almost every year, the Patriots do things I think are nuts, and they're terrific anyway. Three years ago, they cut Lawyer Milloy right before the season opener, got blown out 31-0, then went 17-1 the rest of the way, including a victory in Super Bowl XXXVIII. This year, they let Willie McGinest go to Cleveland, and they're starting the season without their only premier pass-catcher, WR Deion Branch. If everything works out, Bill Belichick and Scott Pioli have redefined the term "genius" as it applies to professional football.

5. Denver Broncos [11-5] — It's not realistic to expect that Jake Plummer will play as mistake-free as he did last season, but Denver's offense should be fine, and the defense looks terrific. If the team can stay healthy and Plummer can combine the spark he showed in Arizona with the consistency he showed during the regular season last year, the Broncos will win the Super Bowl.

6. Kansas City Chiefs [10-6] — The offseason departure of offensive coordinator Al Saunders could hurt production on that side of the ball, but there's still a ton of talent there. Willie Roaf's retirement is a definite loss, but Kyle Turley isn't chopped liver, and Roaf missed half of last season anyway, so there shouldn't be a huge drop-off. The defense has a ton of talent, but some of the players are old and past their primes, while others are young and may not have come into their own yet. If defensive coordinator Gunther Cunningham can get them all to play up to their potential, the Chiefs will be among the league's best teams in 2006.

7. Washington Redskins [9-7] — It's hard to evaluate a team that makes so many offseason changes. Washington has a terrifying receiving corps and running back brigade, plus a defense that should be among the league's best as long as it stays healthy. Lack of depth on the offensive line is a concern, but by far the biggest problem is quarterback. It's fair at this point to label Mark Brunell injury-prone, and he was a decided liability at the end of last season, when his ineffectiveness forced Joe Gibbs to run Clinton Portis into the ground and the team scored a combined total of only 20 points in its two playoff games. With Brandon Lloyd and Antwaan Randle El around to complement Santana Moss and Chris Cooley, Brunell has no excuse not to produce this year, but I don't think he's really up to the challenge.

8. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [9-7] — The defense is still great. The offense could be shaky. Chris Simms remains largely unproven, and Tim Rattay doesn't inspire confidence as a backup on a team with strong playoff aspirations. The receiving corps is decidedly subpar if Joey Galloway gets hurt or comes back to earth, and Cadillac Williams needs to stay healthy for the team to have any kind of running game. The Bucs should be good, but that's too many "ifs" for them to be great.

9. Jacksonville Jaguars [10-6] — Few teams enter the 2006 regular season with such a gaping divide between offense and defense as the Jaguars. The defense should be exceptional, but the offense has no proven producers. The line is fine but not special. QB Byron Leftwich and RB Fred Taylor are injury-prone. Jimmy Smith's retirement leaves the team with no experienced receivers. The Jags have a lot of talent and should be competitive, but until the offense proves otherwise, they aren't in the top tier of NFL teams.

10. New York Giants [9-7] — I like Tiki Barber, the offensive line, and the defensive front seven, but I'm not sold on anyone else. The biggest worry is quarterback Eli Manning, whose lack of consistency really hurt the Giants last year. Barber carried the offense at the end of last season, and Manning continues to struggle in road games. The Giants have an absolutely devastating schedule in the first three weeks of the season.

11. Philadelphia Eagles [9-7] — Everyone says they won't believe the Eagles are back until they see it, but I view last season as an aberration. This is a great team. Donovan McNabb was hurt all of last season, but he's back now, and Jeff Garcia is a terrific backup who should probably be starting somewhere. The defense remains the heart of this team, and the question mark is the offensive playcalling. If Andy Reid helps his team with clock management and a balanced offensive gameplan, the Eagles should make the playoffs, and maybe the Super Bowl.

12. Dallas Cowboys [9-7] — The Cowboys are going to start the season really strong. Bill Parcells is counting on a lot of players who are old (Drew Bledsoe), injury-prone (Julius Jones), time bombs (Terrell Owens), or all three (Terry Glenn). There's no way this leaky ship keeps afloat all season.

13. Cincinnati Bengals [9-7] — I honestly believe that the AFC North is up for grabs this year, and not just between Pittsburgh and Cincinnati. The Bengals' defense is not going to intercept 3,000 passes again this season, and starting middle linebacker Odell Thurman will miss the first quarter of the season due to a suspension. Carson Palmer looks fully recovered from his injury, but I worry about Chad Johnson's focus, which seems to shift more and more to himself and how often he's on TV rather than how his team performs. Cincinnati was remarkably lucky with major injuries last season, and that doesn't usually happen twice in a row.

14. Pittsburgh Steelers [10-6] — Let's be clear on one thing right off the bat: the Steelers are better than this. But not with Ben Roethlisberger in the hospital. When he comes back — or if Charlie Batch tears things up — I'll give them an immediate boost. I do worry about the offseason departures of Randle El, Kimo von Oelhoffen, and Chris Hope, Roethlisberger's long-term health, and the age of key players on both sides of the ball. Thursday's opener against Miami should give us a much better idea about this team.

15. Miami Dolphins [9-7] — Everyone seems to love Nick Saban. I don't, but I do think he's got a nice staff with former head coaches Mike Mularkey and Dom Capers as assistants. Daunte Culpepper should give the team a major upgrade at quarterback, but I worry about a defense whose best players are well over 30. That could be a problem before year's end.

16. Minnesota Vikings [10-6] — It seems like the Vikings are always the hardest team to predict at the beginning of the season. On paper, they should be able to play with anyone. There's a lot of young talent on the roster, especially on defense, and if those young players continue to develop, Minnesota should win its division.

17. Chicago Bears [9-7] — There is no way Chicago's defense will be as good this season as it was last year. Even if everyone plays just as well, which is unlikely, there will probably be some injuries, which the team largely avoided last time around. Moreover, every team in the NFC North spent the offseason studying Chicago's defense and figuring out how to beat it. If the Bears win the division again in 2006, it will still be with good defense, but they're going to need some help from the offense (especially a strong running attack) and the other teams in the division, all of whom will have to crash and burn. That's not out of the question.

18. Atlanta Falcons [7-9] — On paper, the defense is terrifyingly good. John Abraham and Lawyer Milloy join a defense that was already loaded with talent, but the coaching staff has struggled in the past getting everyone to gel and produce results. The offense remains the Michael Vick and Warrick Dunn show, as the wide receivers on the roster scare no one.

19. Buffalo Bills [9-7] — There's definitely reason to be optimistic about the Bills this year. J.P. Losman is a year older and should give the team much better quarterback play than it got in 2005, while the defense should be improved by the return of linebacker Takeo Spikes and the additions of safety Donte Whitner, the eighth pick in last April's draft, plus DTs John McCargo, the team's other first-round pick, and Larry Triplett, who was with Indianapolis last season. With a stout defense and an offense predicated on Willis McGahee and the running game, Buffalo figures to be one of the most improved teams in the league this year.

20. Cleveland Browns [7-9] — If everything goes right, the Browns could be a terrific sleeper this year. The defense should be good, especially the front seven. Offense is more of an unknown. The running game should be fine, but Charlie Frye is an unproven quarterback with undistinguished backups, and the receiving corps is going to be awfully weak if Braylon Edwards doesn't develop into a star.

21. Baltimore Ravens [6-10] — Fans have been very optimistic this offseason, and there are some good reasons for that. The acquisition of Steve McNair gives the team its best quarterback in franchise history, and Kyle Boller is still available if the injury-prone McNair has to miss any time. On defense, Ray Lewis and Ed Reed return from injuries that forced them to miss significant time last season. I don't like Baltimore this year, though. Simply put, they are too old. McNair hasn't played a full season in three years, Jamal Lewis is useless, and Jon Ogden and Ray Lewis are shadows of their former selves. The Ravens should start the season fairly strong, but they won't be able to keep it up for 16 games.

22. San Diego Chargers [7-9] — All teams have to deal with injuries, but the Chargers already have major injury problems, and they haven't played a meaningful game yet. Roman Oben will miss at least the first six weeks of the season, and Steve Foley is out for the year after being shot by an off-duty police officer. LaDainian Tomlinson notwithstanding, the focus this season will be on two young players, quarterback Philip Rivers and linebacker Shawne Merriman.

23. Arizona Cardinals [7-9] — The offense is stacked with explosive players, but there are serious question marks on the offensive line and defense. With newly acquired RB Edgerrin James running and catching passes out of the backfield, the Cardinals have plugged their most obvious hole, but James won't be effective if the line can't create holes for him, or if the Cardinals are always playing from behind and can't run the ball. There are promising players on defense — the talent is there — but it hasn't come together yet. If it does, Arizona could be a playoff sleeper.

24. New York Jets [5-11] — As the 2006 season begins, some of the team's most important contributors from recent years are missing. Curtis Martin is injured, Kevin Mawae is in Tennessee, John Abraham is with the Falcons, and there's a new coaching staff. Chad Pennington is still the quarterback, but he's never played a full season, and there's no reason to expect that he'll start now. There are a lot of question marks on this team, and in a competitive division, that means the Jets are going to have a lot of trouble this season.

25. St. Louis Rams [7-9] — Man, has this defense gotten an overhaul. Jim Haslett is in as defensive coordinator, and new starters include DT La'Roi Glover, SS Corey Chavous, and MLB Will Witherspoon. The team also lost some valuable contributors, but the defensive line in particular has a lot of potential if the new players get comfortable quickly. Gus Frerotte is a great pickup, since he already knows Scott Linehan's offense, and starting QB Marc Bulger has trouble staying healthy.

26. New Orleans Saints [5-11] — Few teams have more question marks this season than the Saints, but there's certainly exciting potential in place for this rebuilding team. New head coach Sean Payton will tutor former Chargers quarterback Drew Brees, giving fans reason to expect vastly improved quarterback play. The team's offense should depend less on Brees, though, than the explosive backfield tandem of Deuce McAllister and Reggie Bush. If McAllister stays healthy, the Saints can use Bush as a receiver and a Bo Jackson-type change of pace, while if McAllister misses time with injuries, Bush is available as an exciting replacement.

27. Oakland Raiders [5-11] — If Randy Moss plays like he did three or four years ago, this offense is simply going to blow up. With Jerry Porter starting across the field from him and Lamont Jordan in the backfield, the Raiders have the tools to give defenses nightmares. Their own defense, unfortunately, is also a nightmare. The secondary had a good preseason, but that doesn't mean anything. If Fabian Washington and Michael Huff develop the way coaches hope they will, the defensive backfield could be strong, but the defense as a whole is simply subpar, and that's going to doom the Raiders in a division filled with strong offenses.

28. Green Bay Packers [5-11] — For years, the offensive line formed the backbone of a balanced attack. In the last two seasons, the middle of the line has been gutted and replaced with a collection of unproven talent. Most worrisome for this team, though, is the play of its quarterback. In 2005, Brett Favre had the worst season of his career, throwing a league-worst 29 interceptions. I'm not confident that the tools are in place for Favre to be successful, and I expect the Packers to struggle a great deal this season.

29. Detroit Lions [4-12] — Mike Martz is the new offensive coordinator, but if all you've got is lemons, even the best chef can't make anything besides lemonade. The Lions don't have a starting quarterback, though in Jon Kitna and Josh McCown they have two guys who are good backups. I've liked Detroit the past few seasons, but they're a mess right now, and this is going to be a rebuilding year.

30. Tennessee Titans [4-12] — No team in the NFL has more quarterback drama. Billy Volek figures to be the starter for now, but he'll have to play awfully well to keep Kerry Collins and Vince Young on the sideline. Whoever plays quarterback, his production figures to be limited by one of the league's weakest receiving corps, led by Drew Bennett. The defense is a mix of Pro Bowl talent — Keith Bulluck, Kyle Vanden Bosch, Albert Haynesworth, and Chris Hope — with mediocre or unproven players. Keep an eye on the health of newly-acquired center Kevin Mawae, as that could have a major impact on this team's success.

31. Houston Texans [4-12] — As if this team needed any more challenges, they'll now be without Domanick Davis, who was placed on injured reserve Saturday. The offense did add Mike Flanagan to shore up the horrendous offensive line, and Eric Moulds and Jeb Putzier give David Carr added targets in the passing game. But subtracting Davis, an explosive runner and an effective receiver who was the team's best offensive weapon, leaves the offense the same place it was last year. The one bright spot is the defensive line, which should be significantly improved by the additions of Mario Williams, Anthony Weaver, and N.D. Kalu.

32. San Francisco 49ers [3-13] — Let's start with the good: the offense cannot possibly be worse than it was last season. Norv Turner is the new OC, and that should help enormously, especially for young QB Alex Smith. Unless Smith turns into Joe Montana, though, the Niners simply have less talent on their roster than any other team in the league, and there's no reason to believe they'll be competitive.

AFC Playoffs

Wildcard: DENVER def. Jacksonville, PITTSBURGH def. Kansas City
Divisional: INDIANAPOLIS def. Pittsburgh, NEW ENGLAND def. Denver
Championship: New England def. INDIANAPOLIS

NFC Playoffs

Wildcard: Tampa Bay def. MINNESOTA, WASHINGTON def. Philadelphia
Divisional: SEATTLE def. Tampa Bay, CAROLINA def. Washington
Championship: Carolina def. SEATTLE

Super Bowl XLI: Carolina def. New England

Posted by Brad Oremland at 9:28 PM | Comments (9)

2006 NFL Preview: Pittsburgh Steelers

Last Year

Following an unexpected 15-1 run in Ben Roethlisberger's rookie season, the Steelers were once again high on the NFL totem poll heading in to 2005. The start was lively, the middle was sluggish, but a regular season-ending four-game win streak propelled the Steelers into the playoffs as a wildcard. There, they simply out-executed Indianapolis, Denver, and Seattle en route to an emotional Super Win. For a second straight offseason, the Steelers will try to stay strong after losing a couple of key pieces and will try to make one more run for — what some say is — Bill Cowher's last season in Pittsburgh.

What We Learned From Last Year

After a surprising season which saw the Steelers advance all the way to the AFC Championship Game, the biggest question last season was how much would Ben Roethlisberger progress in his second season?

Although his statistics looked very similar to his rookie season, Roethlisberger was much more mature and much more in command in his second year in the NFL.

He received a lot of help, not only from a veteran offensive line that played cohesively, but from a fellow sophomore, running back Willie Parker.

Parker was an aberration from the typical Steeler running backs we were used to seeing. His lightning quick speed was definitely a change of pace from the bruising style of runners they had used in the past.

But the thumping presence was still there as Jerome Bettis delayed his retirement to return for one more season. All things considered, it was pretty clear that Bettis' skills were weakening, but he was still the knight in shining armor, particularly in a season-saving performance against the smashmouth Chicago Bears.

It was well-documented, but just to reiterate, Bettis was invaluable in the locker room. He had well-timed motivational speeches and was an important voice that helped guide the Steelers along.

A brief holdout by stalwart wideout Hines Ward raised some concerns about the wide receiving corps in the preseason, but the Rooney's got the deal done with a player who was critical to the team's success.

With all the attention that wideouts like Randy Moss and Terrell Owens get, Hines Ward needs to get a bigger piece of the spotlight. He may be quiet off the field, but he is such a well-rounded receiver. He does everything very well and doesn't complain — something the latter two will never learn.

Ward only pulled in 975 yards on 69 receptions, which is mild by standards nowadays, but Bill Cowher's Steelers were quite obviously run-oriented.

Although Plaxico Burress had departed via free agency, there was still an assortment of targets for Roethlisberger to pick out. Antwaan Randle El was extremely effective out of the slot and on gadget plays, first-round pick Heath Miller was a reliable red zone threat and Cedrick Wilson even found a role in this offense.

The mindset was run-first and conservative, but they executed their game plans extremely well.

On defense, the Steelers were an intimidating unit.

The biggest addition was the return of nose tackle Casey Hampton, who was limited to only six games the previous season. He is quite simply one of the best nose tackles in the business and was one of the main reasons why the inside linebackers dominating the field so much.

James Farrior and Larry Foote cleaned up anything that came to the second level, ringing up over 210 combined tackles. They are a sure-handed duo.

On the outside, Joey Porter and Clark Haggans wreaked havoc on quarterbacks and basically lived in the opponent's backfield. Believe it or not, but the 19.5 sacks this tandem combined for still doesn't do justice to how much trouble they caused.

A young secondary that was picked on in the 2005 AFC Championship Game looked far more seasoned last year. Ike Taylor emerged as a solid starter at cornerback while Bryant McFadden and Ricardo Colclough looked like up-and-comers. Factor in an excellent safety tag team of Chris Hope and Troy Polamalu and the secondary made big plays against the run and pass throughout the year.

The Steelers had solid team chemistry and leadership, and their young players really hit their stride last year. Although it is tough to expect the same to happen again this year, the Steelers return a solid core that will be competing for the AFC North crown.

This Year

The Steelers didn't have many free agents this season, but they seemingly lost all of them. Safety Chris Hope, wide receiver Antwaan Randle El, and defensive linemen Kimo Von Oelhoffen are gone.

But they return 19 starters from a championship team, as well as the coaching staff, so there should be a high level of consistency.

Von Oelhoffen wasn't worth the money, considering the 35-year-old doesn't have a lot left in the tank, and the Steelers have an in-house fix in Brett Keisel. Alongside Casey Hampton and Aaron Smith, Keisel will be fine.

Aside from the loss of Chris Hope, the defense is intact.

The four linebackers in Porter, Haggans, Foote, and Farrior return and can rival any 3-4 foursome for the top spot. They don't miss much ground from sideline to sideline and they have depth with James Harrison as a back up.

The free safety spot looks like it might be a concern. Ryan Clark was brought over from Washington, but he has not been able to assert himself as the starter. He is more used to run defense, coming from an aggressive Redskins defense, but alongside Polamalu, who spends a lot of time in the box, the Steelers expect their free safety to excel in coverage. Tyrone Carter, whom Clark is competing with for the job, also hasn't done much to impress.

While the defense may drop down just a notch, the offense has potential to be stronger this season.

For starters, there are no more questions about Ben Roehtlisberger's ability to win games with his arm, as he proved his critics wrong in the playoffs. In his third year in this offense, expect the playbook to open up. He is using more no-huddle and looks more comfortable as a passer than ever before.

Willie Parker also should experience some more growth in his second season. He'll have to prove that he can handle the wear and tear of 250+ carries and help the Steelers be the ball control team they are used to being.

The wide receivers take another free agency hit for the second straight season, as Randle El is now with the Redskins, but they used a first-round pick on Santonio Holmes in an attempt to replace him. Holmes has been lost so far and it shouldn't be expected for him to contribute a lot in his rookie season. Receivers typically take a while to develop.

But even so, the Steelers have some budding prospects in Nate Washington and Willie Reid to go with veterans Hines Ward and Cedrick Wilson. Heath Miller is also a year older, which means he will likely top last year's 39 receptions.

The Steelers will still need to find a running back to share some of the carries with Parker simply because they are so run-oriented. At this point, if he was to get injured, they would be in serious trouble because Duce Staley and Verron Hanes have not looked more than modest contributors in the offseason.

The Steelers are now an experienced team and know how to execute very well every week. Their schedule is a little bit lighter than the Bengals and as long as they can get a split with the striped kitties, they should be in line to win the division.

Over/Under: 10.5

The Steelers won four games in their division last season and they should expect to do the same this year. They need a split with Baltimore and Cincinnati to stay in the thick of things and they are a very tough match up for Cleveland, which means they should get a sweep. They play: MIA, @JAC, CIN, @SD, KC, @ATL, @OAK, DEN, NO, @CLE, @BAL, TB, CLE, @CAR, BAL, and @CIN.

Fantasy Sleeper

Since the Steelers are more run-oriented than other teams, the receivers on this team tend to get overlooked. Tight end Heath Miller should be a valuable starter this season, particularly if the Steelers have to pass the ball a bit more because of either a weakened defense or if Willie Parker wears down. With six touchdowns last season, Miller proved he was a favorite of Ben Roethlisberger and he should continue to be in his second season.

This is the fourth consecutive season of comprehensive NFL previews by Dave Golokhov. Stay tuned as he brings you previews for all 32 NFL teams! He can be reached at [email protected].

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 9:06 PM | Comments (0)

Hot Topics as MLB Season Winds Down

Firstly, the ongoing A-Rod "slump" story. Personally, I'm finding this whole saga as interesting as the Home Run Derby followed by an evening out in an Afghan restaurant with Tony Kornheiser. Alex Rodriguez is still a premier baseball player, without question one of the best five players in the game. He's not had his best year, but the numbers for 2006 will end up similar to his 2004 stats (36 homers, 106 RBI, .888 OPS). So they aren't his 2005 MVP numbers, but they aren't disastrous.

The wretched "sportswriter" (I use the term loosely) Mike Celizic on MSNBC even wrote an article on Rodriguez in July entitled "A-Rod is finished as a Yankee." I'd never read such drivel — and I read Bill Plaschke's columns regularly.

Firstly, A-Rod isn't going anywhere, primarily because he's actually a relatively cheap acquisition for the Yankees. He costs the team $112 million over seven years, which is around $16 million a year. That's less than Derek Jeter's $19 million a year deal and, though Jeter is a consistently fine performer, Rodriguez is a better player. If the Yankees were to acquire Aramis Ramirez in the offseason to replace Rodriguez, he'll cost at least the same in salary and he's a lesser player.

Were the Yankees foolish enough to trade Rodriguez, only the New York Mets and possibly the Angels would be interested in taking on so much salary. Boston has already balked in the past offseason. The Cubs' ownership is traditionally too mean and the Dodgers like taking on high salary players with a history of injury, so Rodriguez doesn't fit their criteria. So it's basically the Angels or nobody as there's no way that George Steinbrenner sends his marquee signing across town. The Mets don't need a shortstop or a third baseman anyhow.

What could Brian Cashman get for him, bearing in mind how hard it is to get young pitchers away from Bill Stoneman? Chone Figgins and some pitching prospects with cash going the other way? Ho-hum. There's no way the Yankees take that deal.

How about we all let the guy play and find his groove again? All premier players have minor slumps, no matter how much they get paid. I'd have thought the Yankee-obsessed media might have something better to talk about, like how Carl Pavano, Kyle Farnsworth, and Randy Johnson aren't earning their considerable salaries.

***

So Jim Leyland is a shoe-in for AL Manager of the Year, huh? Wake me up after it's over. There's no doubt Leyland has done a fine job in Detroit, but short of filling out the lineup card and stopping the clubhouse imploding, there's no a lot else to do in an AL dugout. Leyland doesn't do a great job with the lineup (walk-to-the-dugout machine Neifi Perez leading off?), but he's protected his young pitchers pretty well and shut the lid on potential whiners like Ivan Rodriguez and Magglio Ordonez, so he's as good a choice as anyone.

Far more interesting is the NL equivalent. So the league stinks this year, with the exception of the Mets, but there's still (mediocre) clubs to run and Joe Girardi in Florida has done an exceptional job with a bunch of rookies.

Not only has Girardi kept the youngsters focused throughout a tortuously long season, no rare feat indeed, he's actually maneuvered them into an outside shot at the post season. He's protected his talented but raw starters and avoided the abject collapse almost everyone predicted. On top of this he's got the guts to tell the objectionable owner Jeffrey Loria to "shut the ^&#$& up." He'll be fired by early October, pickup a Manager of the Year award, and walk straight into Wrigley Field on the strength of it.

***

Much to FOX's annoyance, it's odds-against the Boston Red Sox making the postseason. The injuries became too much, the pitching wasn't as advertised in spring training, and the bullpen was a disaster area. Theo Epstein is taking the heat from a hysterical Boston media for not making a desperation move in July and the world's about to stop turning in New England.

Epstein was right. A quick fix wouldn't have fixed the insurmountable problems Boston had. They could have added a bat, a starter, and a bullpen lefty and still have been in the same mess they're in now. In hindsight, Espstein made the right move in holding onto his youngsters. Boston can regroup for next year from a position of strength. Barry Zito will be on Theo's shopping list as a starter. Boston will also be in the thick of the Alfonso Soriano race if they want to take on his salary. The future's still bright in Fenway, thanks to Theo's caution.

That said, what has happened to the strength of the AL East? Boston has imploded, New York's pitching looks as fragile as Nicole Richie's breakfast, and the Toronto clubhouse resembles a Daytona bar during spring break.

This is the perfect time for both Toronto and Baltimore to make big offseason moves and Tampa Bay to invest in some veterans to guide their huge crop of talented youngsters. Tampa Bay has a way to go yet before it can compete with only Scott Kazmir of any note in the rotation, but the Jays and Orioles need to make a serious splash in the free agent waters this offseason. The timing is perfect given the question marks in New York and Boston.

Toronto has the most to gain short term. J.P. needs to fire Gibbons if he thinks he's lost the core of the locker room with his ludicrous antics. Julio Lugo would be a great addition at shortstop and leading off and the team needs a starter to augment Roy Halladay and A.J. Burnett. If they could tie-up Vernon Wells long-term, as well, it would make Toronto a serious contender in 2007 and beyond.

Baltimore's problems will take longer to solve, especially while the Peter Angelos and his sons are running the show. Angelos is the epitome of a bad baseball owner, concerned only with revenue, prickly at (justifiable) criticism, and seemingly unconcerned with competing with powerhouses Boston and New York.

Baltimore has the basis of quality pitching staff despite their youth, with Daniel Cabrera, Adam Loewen, Hayden Penn, and Erik Bedard. The dreadful gamble with Kris Benson has predictably failed and Rodrigo Lopez should have been traded at the deadline. Black marks for GM Mike Flanagan.

On offense, Nick Markakis (OF) has been a difference-maker since the break and Corey Patterson has rebounded from underachieving in Chicago. Add in Brian Roberts, Melvin Mora, and Miguel Tejada and the core of a decent team is in place. The team is desperate for a big bopper at first.

The coming offseason will tell us if Flanagan has the green light from Angelos to compete. If he backs off and signs stop-gaps, the fans will vote with their feet — again.

***

Did anyone see last Monday night's telecast of the Yankees/Tigers game? If you did could you let me know where the strike zone was for Jeremy Bonderman? I've seen bigger atoms. Home plate umpire James Hoye presumably went out for dinner after the game on Randy Johnson's Amex card. Johnsons outside edge was somewhere in Connecticut.

MLB needs to address this in the offseason. Umpires consistently favor the big-name guys and it's wrong. Call the strike zone as it's defined, or lose your job — it's simple.

Bud Selig can address this easily and break the power of the umpires' union at the same time. Get them to signup to calling the strike zone on penalty of a big dollar fine if they don't. At the same time, give them a 20% raise. That will split the hardline old-timers from the ambitious young guys. If they call Seligs' bluff, bring in replacements and train some new guys to step in. This current crop has stunk for way too long. Oh, and raise the mound at least six inches when you have a free moment, Bud.

***

Finally, a few words on the AL MVP debate. David Ortiz is out, so the new name in the frame is Derek Jeter.

I love Derek Jeter, in a manly way, of course. He plays hard, he plays hurt, he plays better defense than Rob Neyer-lovers claim, he's "clutch" — if there is such a thing — and he's squeaky clean. But he's not even the Yankees' MVP. Jason Giambi is.

Gary Sheffield and Hideki Matsui went down and A-Rod fell into a slump. Giambi stepped up and carried the team. Forget the .250ish average. Batting average is a garbage stat. His OBP is .413. He's slugging around 1.000. He's hit 36 homers and counting. Even his play at first base has improved, as well.

I can hear the cries. He's tainted; he's a cheat; he should be run out the game.

The award is called Most Valuable Player, not Most Valuable Player Without a Dubious History. Jermaine Dye should get it anyway, but Jason Giambi deserves more consideration than the admirable Mr. Jeter.

Posted by Mike Round at 8:36 PM | Comments (1)

September 4, 2006

Goodbye and Thank You, Andre

Images of Jimmy Connors in 1991 have been dancing in my head since Andre Agassi's incredible win Thursday night over Marcus Baghdatis. Agassi had an extra day of rest, thanks to the remnants of Hurricane Ernesto. But from that emerged a sunny, light day at the Billie Jean King National Tennis Center and nearly perfect conditions in Arthur Ashe Stadium. Filling tennis' large stadium was a huge New York crowd, all rooting to see the aging champion go all the way in his final appearance in competitive tennis.

Normally, seeing "B. Becker" on the draw would bring chills, but this is not 1988 and this is not Boris Becker, but Benjamin Becker. Conditions could not be better to see one more great victory. But alas, my heart is saddened. Andre Agassi has lost.

Let's give Benjamin Becker some credit. He is a former NCAA Division I singles champion out of Baylor University, and he does have some game. He brought that all today — a big serve, nerves almost of steel, and he never backed down. Clearly, Andre was still hurting, and his ordeal with Baghdatis was still with him. Both players fought hard, and the scores indicated it. In the end, it was youth and health that won out over age, wisdom, and the biggest heart the game of tennis has ever known.

This is not the time nor place to sum up Andre's career. I'll leave that to all the other journalists and writers who share this media room in Arthur Ashe Stadium. It is still way too early to sum up Andre's life, either, as there are clearly many, many more chapters he has to play out. Competitive tennis has seen the last of Andre Agassi, but the game will still have him for many years. You can count on it.

Andre put up all the fight he could this day, but it was not enough. Twenty-one years of championship level tennis have worn on his body — yes, even the body of a man known as the fittest in tennis. The aches and pains grow with each day, and this moment must have weighed on his mind heavier than anything before or since. Every win was one more gift, every win added to the great burden.

It was never a matter of if, but when would the final ball be struck. At match point, the ball must have looked like a wrecking ball, and each shot in that final game must have reverberated up his arm like hitting the Great Wall of China. As he stood facing match point, you could see the tears starting to pour out of his eyes. He knew, as we did, that this was the end.

What more can you say about this champion then he was the greatest of human beings. On this day, his last competitive match and his last appearance at the U.S. Open, all of his thoughts were with the fans. Choking back the tears, trying hard to keep his composure, Andre gave a carefully rehearsed and fully heartfelt goodbye to the tennis world.

It's just minutes after the speech as I write this, and I cannot remember all the words as I cried as he spoke and my thoughts wandered through his personal tennis history like a documentary movie. I'll remember his feelings, and I'll always remember his kindness.

Andre, you said along the way over these past 21 years you found us, your fans, and that you will remember us always and take us with you into the next phase of your life. Thank you, Andre, for over these past 21 years, we have found you, and we will remember your tenderness, heart, and kindness. We will remember you as the gentleman of the game you are and were. Simply put, we will remember you.

Today, and for a while, my heart will remain sad. Andre Agassi has lost.

Posted by Tom Kosinski at 4:58 PM | Comments (1)

2006 NFL Preview: Philadelphia Eagles

Last Year

Following along the recent trend of Super Bowl losers feeling a hang over the following season, the Philadelphia Eagles fell off the map in 2005. It didn't take Terrell Owens long to become a team cancer, as he tore up the locker room and his nagging for a new contract became a huge distraction for the team. Furthermore, injuries mounted and kept the Eagles, a perennial contender under Andy Reid, in the dumps of the NFC East. In 2006, they try to turn over a new leaf and return among the playoff contenders in the NFC.

What We Learned From Last Year

For one season, Terrell Owens was everything the Eagles could have asked for. He raked in 1,200 yards, 14 touchdowns, and then miraculously recovered from a broken ankle in time for a spectacular performance in the Super Bowl.

And then the whining started.

It started with teary-eyed appearances on television, to training camp rifts with head coach Andy Reid.

The laundry list is long and by now, we are all aware of the monster he turned into.

But he wasn't the only reason for the Eagles failures last season. For the most part, injuries took their toll.

Quarterback Donovan McNabb battled a sports hernia, which eventually shut him down after nine games, running back Brian Westbrook missed four games, wide receiver Todd Pinkston missed the whole season, kicker David Akers was lost for four games with a groin injury, center Hank Fraley only played eight games, and cornerback Lito Sheppard was only healthy enough for 10 starts.

Some perceived that the biggest mistake the Eagles made in regards to Owens was not to have a Plan B, in case he combusted.

But Andy Reid's Eagles have never really invested a lot of money or high draft picks in wide receivers, before or after Owens. That's just not his style.

Nonetheless, the Eagles' passing game clearly diminished each week as McNabb's pain compounded.

Greg Lewis was counted on to become a quality starter after a decent showing in the Super Bowl, but never really panned out. Reggie Brown pieced together a better season, with more yards and touchdowns, and he was only a rookie. Brown was really one of the few bright spots in an otherwise dark season for Philadelphia.

The offensive prospects who blossomed were on the offensive line. Center Jamaal Jackson started eight games for the Eagles after Fraley tore his rotator cuff midseason. Jackson performed admirably right next to second-year guard Shawn Andrews, who also excelled in his first full-time role.

The Eagles had lost veterans John Welbourn and Jermane Mayberry off of the offensive line in the past two seasons, but the front five was still strong.

Prior to the start of the regular season, the Eagles chose to remove their franchise tag off of Corey Simon and allowed him to become a free agent. The move was a bit of a surprise and became a decision they would somewhat regret.

Without Simon, the Eagles lacked bulk in the center of their defensive line. They felt that their rotation with Sam Rayburn, Hollas Thomas, Darwin Walker, and Mike Patterson was deep enough, but Simon's mass was missed.

Opposing offensive lines shifted their pass protection towards Jevon Kearse, limiting him to a very quiet 7.5 sacks. Mike Patterson and Trent Cole were standout prospects, but they were still a bit inconsistent — typical for rookies.

The linebacking corps was fairly weak outside of middle linebacker Jeremiah Trotter. Dhani Jones had a lot of trouble with blockers and struggled to make plays throughout the season. The other outside linebacker, Keith Adams, was a marginal starter.

After sending three members of the secondary to the Pro Bowl, the secondary slumped last season. Part of it was that the team was not contending, part of it was the loss of Lito Sheppard and part of it was the astronomical drop in sack production.

Believe it or not, but Jim Johnson's defense only accumulated 29 sacks.

There isn't really much to take forward from last season. The Eagles, as a whole, had an off year. The coaching staff is not crumbling and there isn't a monumental change in philosophy. Essentially, injuries and the Terrell Owens drama just overburdened the team.

Now that they are once again healthy, they will be back among the NFC teams competing for a playoff spot.

This Year

Not surprisingly, the Eagles had another typically shrewd offseason.

Their sack production dipped last year, so that was their first order of business. They plucked defensive end Darren Howard out of New Orleans, who has averaged more than 0.5 sacks per game for his career. This will take a ton of pressure off of Jevon Kearse and place it on the opposing quarterback. Trent Cole showed flashes of brilliance as a pass-rushing specialist last season and the Eagles are expecting former first-round pick Jerome McDougle to be part of the rotation, once his string of unlucky injuries ceases.

On the inside, Darwin Walker and Mike Patterson will start. This is a solid tandem, especially with veteran Sam Rayburn and first-round pick Brodrick Bunkley, who will make an impact in his first season even though he held out.

This front four is as deep and dangerous as a unit that Andy Reid has coached and it will be the foundation of the Eagles' success in 2006.

The secondary returns their Pro Bowl-caliber starters and as the saying goes: "Show me a Pro Bowl cornerback and I'll show you a Pro Bowl end in front of him."

With Sheldon Brown, Lito Sheppard, Michael Lewis, and Brian Dawkins, the Eagles have a top-flight secondary that will bounce back with better help up front.

The main concern on the defensive side, which is seemingly a perennial concern, is the linebacking corps.

Jeremiah Trotter is quite motivated to have post-Owens success, and he will lock down the middle, but the outside spots were not upgraded. Dhani Jones returns virtually by default, while Matt McCoy will play the weak side. Veteran Shawn Barber is in the mix, but he is a mediocre cog.

Just like the Eagles neglect their weak linebacking trio each season, you can also count on them to overlook the wide receiving corps.

This year, Reggie Brown was handed the top spot almost by default. Now he is a good prospect, and was very mature in his rookie season, but it is not a given that he can handle the rigors of being the team's top wide receiver.

Todd Pinkston still has not fully recovered from a torn ACL injury and he wasn't a quality wideout prior to the injury. Greg Lewis has proven that he isn't better than a third starter and free agent signing Jabar Gaffney is right there with him.

That leaves the team with rookies Jason Avant, Jeremy Bloom, and Hank Baskett. Bloom injured his hamstring and will likely spend the season on injured reserve, while Avant won't make a big impact this season.

Baskett was an undrafted free agent, who was signed by Minnesota, then traded to Philadelphia. He has been the talk of the town throughout training camp and was slated start opposite Brown in Week 1 until the Eagles acquired Donte Stallworth. Baskett outperforms his own measurables and might be a great find.

Stallworth should be a decent fit for the Eagles' short passing game, which will allow him to use his speed and elusiveness more often. But he was a tease in New Orleans, developing a rap of inconsistency. He needs to be a more reliable receiver.

Tight end L.J. Smith should become Donovan McNabb's new go-to guy because of the uncertainty at the wide receiver position. He caught a career-high 61 passes last season and is up to the task.

While the offensive line is deep, healthy, and young, only one of those compliments can be passed along to the running backs that will be scampering behind it.

Brian Westbrook sprained his foot in the preseason, an injury that could possibly linger. If it doesn't, his long history of previous injuries indicates that something else will probably surface at some point. Correll Buckhalter returns after missing two seasons with injuries, while Ryan Moats and Reno Mahe have not proven enough to earn confidence should Westbrook go down again.

With a healthy McNabb back in the fold, the Eagles will be competitive. But times have changed since they made their first three appearances in the NFC Championship. The NFC has muscled up and is no longer the Eagles versus a bunch of second-tier teams.

As a unit, the Eagles are on par with the Pittsburgh Steelers and New England Patriots, as far as teams that execute very well on a weekly basis. They don't usually have off games and they don't beat themselves. But in a tougher conference — and a tougher division — the Eagles will have a tough time making a serious dent without a quality group of linebackers or wide receivers.

Over/Under: 8.5

Among the four NFC East teams, with Houston and San Francisco on the map, the Eagles have the easiest schedule in place. They will need it because they are still not on par with the Redskins or the Cowboys. They play: @HOU, NYG, @SF, GB, DAL, @NO, @TB, JAC, WAS, TEN, @IND, CAR, @WAS, @NYG, @DAL, and ATL.

Fantasy Sleeper

Even with the addition of Donte Stallworth, the Eagles figure to experience some inconsistency at the position. Stallworth is not always reliable while Reggie Brown is only in his second season. Look for tight end L.J. Smith to have an increased role this season after posting career highs last year and he should be the most effective target in the red zone.

This is the fourth consecutive season of comprehensive NFL previews by Dave Golokhov. Stay tuned as he brings you previews for all 32 NFL teams! He can be reached at [email protected].

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 4:35 PM | Comments (0)

September 2, 2006

Drafting Ron Mexico

Before I began to dabble in the dark arts of fantasy football, I had a practically romanticized view of it. I envisioned gloomy, smoke-filled rooms. Men with furled brows rubbing their temples while pouring over Iliad-sized stacks of papers, filled with stats, schedules, horoscopes, and Wonderlic scores. Hours of intense debate and negotiation about the minutiae of the game.

Basically, all the good parts of the old "Sportswriters on TV" program with Bill Gleason and Rick Telander.

Well, the folks in my 12-team fantasy league just don't have time for anything like that. They only have time for AutoDraft, which is about as romantic as a dinner at Wendy's and $20 bucks on top of the dresser at night's end.

My league starts anew every season. A clean slate — no keepers, no franchise players. The deck is reshuffled, and your only chance at drawing a good hand is through ranking the entire NFL so a computer can select your team for you.

To me, this takes a good amount of joy out of the process. You can't point and laugh at anyone when they pick Mike Vanderjagt in the second round. You can't pound your fist on the table in agony when the only two defenses left to select are Houston and San Francisco. You'll never have a chance to dodge a weak punch from a dude in a Dan Fouts throwback when you steal Phillip Rivers with the pick before his.

The only joy in AutoDraft is that you can go from worst-to-first in a hurry and, unlike in the NFL, you won't have to put up with Bill Parcells's menopause in order to do it. But AutoDraft teases you. It mocks you. If life was AutoDraft, you'd wake up beside Shakira one morning and Morganna the Kissing Bandit the next. (I don't think I want life to be AutoDraft.)

AutoDraft doesn't believe in fate or karma. AutoDraft doesn't care if your favorite player is still on the board. AutoDraft doesn't honor long-term contracts...

...or so I thought.

For the second straight season, my team "drafted" the ultimate fantasy football enigma: Mr. Michael Ron Mexico Vick, Atlanta Falcons. My team changed — it's gone from being called the FrenchKissingNamaths to DownGoesPennington. Vick hasn't — he's still a riddle wrapped in a conundrum wrapped in an anthology of black quarterback generalities.

Vick is rated 21st overall in my league and 11th among quarterbacks. Twelve QBs scored more fantasy points than Vick last season, but none ran for more yards or for more rushing touchdowns. Assuming Vick has a better passing season than he had last year — which is to assume his mechanics will be tighter and his receivers improve — his fantasy value could rise astronomically.

Yet I have about as much confidence in him as Warner Bros. has in another "Superman" sequel. He's boom or bust, a player that can win you a week or flop with a whimper. The kind of quarterback who can undue a great fantasy effort with a single pass to the wrong uniform or an ill-advised run into the chest of a D-lineman.

AutoDraft gave me Vick and Trent Green of Kansas City as my quarterbacks. I have no confidence in the Chiefs' offensive line or the potential for a high-scoring offense on a Herman Edwards team, so I'm not expecting much from Green this season. Yet compared to Vick...

I immediately went into general manager panic mode. I snagged Rivers off the waiver wire as my opponents slept by their laptops, giving me a third option at QB when the kid picks up where Drew Brees left off. I then shopped Vick and Green to anyone who would listen.

Yet, I had some pre-seller's remorse. What if this was the year that Vick puts it all together and sets fantasy football records for points scored every week by running and passing for four touchdowns a game?

What if Michael Vick actually becomes Michael Vick for once, before Vince Young does?

Before long, a trade offer rolled into my inbox. Vick and Kevin Jones — one of my running backs and nearly the frustrating mystery Vick is — for WR Reggie Wayne of the Colts and QB Mark Brunell of the Redskins.

Wayne, I love — Peyton's going to pass more than ever before, and Wayne's going to start seriously cutting into Marvin Harrison's numbers. Brunell hasn't looked good, but his receivers are outstanding and he's good for one long TD chuck to Santana Moss every once in a while.

Deal or no deal?

Deal, Howie Mandel.

I'm done with waiting for Vick to live up to the hype. I honestly don't know how the Falcons fans deal with this crap every season.

As the great '80s band Scandal once sang, "Goodbye to you." Happy trails, Michael Vick: you're someone else's conundrum now.

'Till AutoDraft reunites us next season, that is...

Greg Wyshynski is the Features Editor for SportsFan Magazine in Washington, DC, and the Senior Sports Editor for The Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. His book is "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History." His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 11:57 PM | Comments (0)

2006 NFL Preview: Oakland Raiders

Last Year

Surprise, surprise, the Oakland Raiders landed another problem child after Randy Moss wore out the Minnesota Vikings. But he had problems of his own in his first season as injuries and poor coaching limited him and, what was supposed to be, an explosive offense. Now the Raiders dig into their past and return Art Shell to the sidelines, but are they ready for the playoffs this season?

What We Learned From Last Year

It's easy to look at the Oakland Raiders' final record and spit some kind of insult towards them, but 4-12 is misleading — somewhat.

In the first three weeks of the season, the Raiders could have easily been at least 2-1.

They opened the season with a close tilt in New England, a Randy Moss offensive pass interference was the difference in Week 2 at home to Kansas City, and David Akers had to kick a field goal on an injured groin to put the Raiders to bed in Week 3.

Throw in another loss — of the last second variety — again to Kansas City and all of the sudden we are potentially talking about a respectable 8-8 team.

But that is what you get with Norv Turner.

It seems like the Raiders were often self-destructing, beating themselves and not doing the little things, which most winning teams do.

The Raiders led the league in offensive penalties, racking up 1,132 yards on 147 flaggings.

Their offense was up-and-down throughout the year, most of it based on the inconsistent play of the offensive line and some of it based on Randy Moss' health.

The front five permitted 45 sacks, a disappointing total for a unit that really needed to step up to protect Kerry Collins. Robert Gallery still looked lost as a pro tackle, which has hampered the offensive line as a whole. Jake Grove was moved around and was never allowed to settle into the center position, where he is best suited.

Naturally, Kerry Collins had a tough season since he didn't get reliable protection. He never really developed a rhythm with his wideouts like many people had expected.

Randy Moss still led the team in yardage, topping the 1,000-yard mark for the seventh time in eight seasons. But Jerry Porter was the most reliable target, catching 76 receptions. Moss was limited with a leg injury and he clearly wasn't giving his all the better part of the time.

LaMont Jordan was signed and given a full-time role after working four seasons as Curtis Martin's backup with the Jets. Jordan was a nice find, even though he averaged only 3.8 yards per carry, but he was quite useful as a receiver. He caught 70 passes and his 548 yards-after-the-catch ranked third in the NFL.

Behind Jordan, the Raiders didn't have a running back to share some of the load and that became blatantly evident as the season progressed. Jordan's 272 carries were more than double the amount he's ever taken in the NFL and wore down in the later stages.

On defense, the cornerstone was supposed to be Charles Woodson, but his performance had steadily declined over the past two seasons. Essentially, the Raiders paid Woodson $21 million for two interceptions and 11 passes defensed. The whole play of the secondary was disappointing and the measly six interceptions the defense tallied was the lowest in NFL history.

Both safety position really hampered the team, as Stuart Schweigert was mediocre while former first-round pick Derrick Gibson merely emphasized how much of a bust he was.

Cornerbacks Nnamdi Asomugha and Fabian Washington were decent in coverage but quite clearly, they didn't make many plays on the ball.

The defensive line exceeded expectations for the Raiders, as free agent signing Derrick Burgess led the NFL with 16 sacks. Ted Washington, Warren Sapp, and Bobby Hamilton may have been overpaid, but they were effective.

In the middle of the defense, Danny Clark continued to be a steady linebacker. He didn't make many big plays, but he simply solid. Rookie Kirk Morrison proved to be quite a find, leading the team in tackles, while Sam Williams was plagued by injuries once again.

The Raiders have some parts to work with, particularly all the mixings of an explosive offense, but a shaky offensive line raises speculation. Owner Al Davis is hoping that one of the best former offensive linemen in the NFL, Art Shell, can help secure a front line and return to the Silver and Black to glory.

This Year

The Raiders are in the midst of a 13-35 run, the worst stretch in franchise history.

At — or near — the top of Art Shell's to-do list is instilling a sense of discipline.

The Raiders have perennially been a leader in penalties and they have to cut them out of their game plan if they expect to move in the right direction.

With an extensive background as a former NFL lineman, Shell will be expected to repair a leaking unit.

He has moved tackle Robert Gallery back to the left side, after spending two seasons trying to learn the right side, and the hope is that the former second-overall selection finally performs at a Pro Bowl-caliber.

Shell doesn't seem to concerned, but watching Gallery early on in the preseason causes anxiety in most pundits. Langston Walker will take over at right tackle, Jake Grove is the starting center, and rookie Paul McQuistan will play right guard. McQuistan has looked solid and with Grove and Gallery in comfortable positions, the line should be stronger.

The front five will be protecting a different quarterback this year, one who is much more mobile, as Aaron Brooks takes over for Kerry Collins. Behind Brooks is possibly the future starter in Oakland, Andrew Walter. He looks painfully similar to Collins: he has a strong arm, can make most throws, but is completely immobile.

There are a couple of concerns with the offense. First off, coordinator Tom Walsh has been out of football for 11 years. Much has changed in that time and expect some rust to show. Secondly, Aaron Brooks has a strong arm, but the offense is not supposed to be a vertical game. They will be looking for him to connect on a lot of shorter routes, which isn't really his strength.

The offense should open up quite a bit if Randy Moss can return as a lethal threat. Remember in Minnesota, defenses had to give him so much attention that they could not afford to stack the box against the run or devote extra attention to other wide receivers. Jerry Porter was a quality complement to Moss before he demanded a trade, but he might still have a role with the team. Even without, wide receiver is one of the deepest positions on the team with Ronald Curry returning from injury, Doug Gabriel, and Johnnie Morant.

There is not viable threat at tight end and there isn't really a secondary back to ease LaMont Jordan's load. Justin Fargas is probably capable, but the last coaching regime didn't trust him.

The Raiders have come up virtually bankrupt from their previous five drafts and they are heavily depending on last year's and this year's crop to excel — particularly on defense.

Fabian Washington will replace Charles Woodson in the starting lineup and with Nnamdi Asomugha, the Raiders have a good young tandem. Nickel back Stanford Routt is also a talent second-year player. Asomugha has zero interceptions in three seasons, while Washington and Routt also recorded none in their rookie campaigns. The defense has spent endless amount of time in the offseason figuring out ways to force more turnovers.

One player who will help accomplish that is rookie safety Michael Huff. In Texas, he was always around the football and was the cause of several game-changing plays.

Without many turnovers last season and with a horde of penalties, the Raiders were often in poor field situations both offensively and defensively. If they improve both of those areas — and by all indications they have, at least a little bit — they will be in much better position to win football games.

Huff will eventually overtake Derrick Gibson for the strong safety role and will start next to Stuart Schweigert, who is an average safety.

The heart of the defense is the center of optimism as the Raiders have assembled a potential-filled linebacking corps. Danny Clark is a steady veteran, but all signs point to him being a cut casualty. He has been quite reliable in the past, but sophomore Kirk Morrison is taking his role in the middle.

Whether Clark stays or goes likely will depend on strong side starter Sam Williams, who has played only 10 games in his three-year career. He still offers quite a bit of promise, but he needs to stay healthy. The other outside linebacker will be second-round pick Thomas Howard.

This trio has a lot of playmaking potential, but all three are fairly inexperienced. The Raiders would be wise to hold on to Clark as an insurance policy.

The front four figures to be improved on the ends, but there question marks about the center of the line. Warren Sapp returns as a starter, but he will be 34 by the end of this season. Tommy Kelly will start beside him while fourth-year veteran Terdell Sands will mix into the rotation. If Sands continues to develop and Sapp does wear too much, this unit will be okay.

On the ends, former first-round pick Tyler Brayton will benefit being back on the line. He was out of place as an outside linebacker in the 3-4 scheme and should feel much more at home as an end. Lance Johnstone will be good for passing downs while Bobby Hamilton will be used on rushing downs. Expect the NFL's sack leader, Derrick Burgess, to get much more blocking attention this season.

The Raiders are waiting on the maturation of several defensive players and they have to quell all the persisting questions about their offense — and offensive line — before they can become a contender. Shell needs to whip this team into shape, discipline them, and kick that loser's mentality out of them. That is what this year will be for.

Over/Under: 6

Out of the four teams in the AFC West, the Raiders look like they are the furthest away from competing. They have a head coach and an offensive coordinator that have not been on the sidelines in a long time and they are guiding a team that is trying to gel and find an identity. They play: SD, @BAL, CLE, @SF, @DEN, ARZ, PIT, @SEA, DEN, @KC, @SD, HOU, @CIN, STL, KC, and @NYJ.

Fantasy Sleeper

With Randy Moss attracting the better part of the defensive attention, usually the receiver who starts opposite him stands to benefit. With Jerry Porter in the doghouse (because he demanded a trade) and Ronald Curry still getting his feet back under him after recovering from an injury, Doug Gabriel will start and immediately becomes a sleeper. He has been plagued by inconsistency in the past, but starting with Moss means he will get plenty of one-on-one coverage and plenty of opportunities to make plays.

This is the fourth consecutive season of comprehensive NFL previews by Dave Golokhov. Stay tuned as he brings you previews for all 32 NFL teams! He can be reached at [email protected].

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 11:30 PM | Comments (1)

Mike Bell Experiment Only an Illusion

Mike Shanahan likes to start up controversy. Especially at the running back position, which every year in itself is a fantasy football owner's nightmare. We all know that Denver's running game is consistently going to be great, but which back is it going to be? It was Terrell Davis for several years, but since then, it has been a trademark for Shanahan to keep trying to find a running back.

Early in the preseason, Shanahan decided to name Mike Bell as his starting running back. Instant reaction was kind of surprising. Figuring that Bell was undrafted rookie free agent that was just battling for a roster spot. So as fantasy drafts started happening in August, Mike Bell all of the sudden was the hot choice to take in the fourth or fifth round.

Is this the biggest mistake going on in fantasy football drafts? Yes, it is.

Shanahan is doing nothing but stirring up Tatum Bell. Tatum is too talented to not be the feature back or at least carry the ball significantly. He had a great yards per carry average last season, and an equally satisfying amount of touchdowns. The only reason Shanahan named Mike Bell the starter was to get Tatum that extra motivation to use his abilities to the fullest. There have been numerous reports about how Tatum's work ethic is not where it should be. That move should have gave Tatum Bell the boost he needed. If you've noticed in the preseason, Tatum has been still getting carries, and in the last preseason game, outdid Mike strongly.

It's sad to say, but Shanahan and the Broncos have no investment for Mike Bell. His measly rookie free agent contract leaves him as an easy target to let go whenever. Sure, Bell can be utilized as a change-of-pace back if Ron Dayne cannot do it. Bell is a solid back at running in the tier blocking system of the Broncos. He excelled quietly in the Pac-10 at the University of Arizona, and even had a 200-yard rushing game against UCLA last season. The biggest problem, though, with Mike Bell that won't go away is his fumbling problems. They plagued him at the collegiate level and back then you could see how it affected his mentality.

Entering with the Broncos, he has been feeling great. All the media is on him with this great story of being an undrafted free agent to a starter. That assumption was too early, and horrible to put in the mind of this youngster. As soon as things start going down a bit for Mike Bell, he is guaranteed to lose his carries and that confidence will be sucked away dramatically.

This whole scenario is making fantasy owners look like fools by drafting Mike Bell as early as he has been going lately. Shanahan played this perfectly. He gave the media a story to devour a month before the NFL season, and in turn, the media over played it to the consumer. "Who's Mike Bell?" was on every sports channel and that caused unnecessary inflation of his fantasy stock.

Either way you look at it, the Broncos' running situation was ugly to evaluate for fantasy purposes. Unless you happened to nab both Bells, you very well may be stuck and hurting at running back all season long. Getting the compensation at your other positions will be impossible to make up for that poor draft move. Start working the waiver wire as star running backs and such openings appear.

After the first few weeks of the season, Mike Bell is going to be unheard of.

Zack Cimini is a guest columnist and is the founder and editor-in-chief of NotJustaAame.com, a fantasy sports site dedicated to helping fantasy sports players succeed.

Posted by Zack Cimini at 10:57 PM | Comments (5)

September 1, 2006

Handicapping the Heisman

One of the three actual NCAA trends listed below will no longer ring true come December 10th, the day after the 2006 Heisman Trophy gala goes down in NYC.

Fact No. 1 — In the 71-year history of the Heisman Trophy voting, only four wide receivers have received the award and never has a pure wide receiver been given the honor (it should also be noted here that each of the four played for a national powerhouse — Michigan's Desmond Howard and Charles Woodson, Notre Dame's Tim Brown, and Nebraska's Johnny Rodgers).

Fact No. 2 — No defense-only player has ever taken home the hardware given to the most outstanding Division I college football player in the land (1949 marked the closest the voting would come, with Notre Dame's Leon Hart winning the award, but he did play on the offensive line, as well, so he doesn't count; Yale's Larry Kelley dominated as a defensive end in 1936, but also excelled as a tight end on offense, so he's out, as well).

Fact No. 3 — No single team has ever had three consecutive Heisman Trophy winners, but a USC Trojan has won the last two (Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush in '04 and '05).

Conventional wisdom would eliminate facts No. 1 and No. 2 from the equation. This leaves a USC player as the choice ... but that's why you must keep reading.

With Reggie and LenDale White committing to their futures as rising NFL stars, that leaves receiver Dwayne Jarrett as the only realistic remaining USC option and, since he is a WR, his winning would mean that his winning accomplished two of the three feats, countering the very premise of this missive. Long story short, fact No. 3 is eliminated from the equation, meaning either a defensive player or a non-USC wide receiver will be the recipient of this prestigious award.

Before we delve too deeply into the meat of this argument, let's recap the perceived top five "potentials" in the 2006 race:

Brady Quinn, QB, Notre Dame

Mr. Quinn came on strong in his junior season under new coach and offensive guru Charlie Weis. Quinn's arm strength is worthy of praise, but his weakness prior to '05 was in his decision-making.

I point to three games on Quinn's schedule that will define his '06 campaign and will cost him the Heisman: game one against Georgia Tech's Ramblin' Wreck defense (more details on this to come), and the final two games of the season against Army and USC.

USC is an easy read — they'll be concentrating on defense all season long with a diminished offensive attack and will be ready for whatever game plan Weis throws their way.

The other, Army, may solicit a few sighs in the reading public, but bear with me here. The Black Knights finished middle-of-the-road in defense last season, but closer examination of the numbers shows that their pass defense was more than adequate. Only 10 TDs were allowed through the air (only eight teams in the land finished with fewer allowed) and a respectable 6.29 yards per attempt were given up.

Finishing strong is the key to earning Heisman glory, and these final two games will not bode well for Brady's hopes if he does not excel.

Writer's note: I still see Quinn as an easy top-10 selection in the NFL draft and as the No. 1 QB in NCAA, just not the Heisman shoo-in that the media is making him.

Adrian Peterson, RB, Oklahoma

One year removed from a forgettable campaign that featured disappointing results from the Sooners and too many nicks and scrapes on the electric Peterson, many pundits see this as a year of destiny for Adrian relative to personal glory.

Peterson drew comparisons to all-around Georgia great halfback Herschel Walker after his stellar freshman season. Like Walker, Peterson has hopes to of winning the Heisman as a junior, but the karma doesn't end there. The winner in Walker's sophomore year was USC running back Marcus Allen. The winner last year — Peterson's sophomore year — was USC running back Reggie Bush.

Contrary to that good karma, however, are some awfully negative signs — specifically, starting QB Rhett Bomar and starting off guard J.D. Quinn were both booted off the squad for NCAA infractions. This last fact bears more notice than the potential for good print that the symmetry between two of college football history's most productive frosh runners brings.

Marshawn Lynch, RB, California

Many analysts love to point out that Lynch had a superior 2005 season despite missing most or all of three contests with minor hand injuries. I will counter that by pointing out that Lynch missed most or all of three contests with minor hand injuries. The bottom line is durability counts, and Lynch needs to prove his before he is to be considered a serious Heisman contender.

Cal plays Tennessee's second-ranked rush defense in week one of the season, and that should just about do it for any hopes of this junior taking home the award or even being invited to the festivities at all. Golden Bear fans take heart, the snub will keep Marshawn around one more season and all bets will be off in 2007.

Troy Smith, QB, Ohio State

I'm just not seeing it. I don't even know why he's on this list. Smith has talent, to be sure, but with a year of game film to study, opposing coaches will eat Smith alive by playing off his weaknesses (little accuracy from the pocket, lack of overwhelming arm strength, and tendency to tip his throws).

Many are seduced by his 16/4 TD-to-INT ratio, but it is worth noting that in games where he threw a pick, Troy had only one passing touchdown, and that was early in a blowout win against Indiana. What does this mean? Teams who game-planned effectively dominated Smith as a passer. Look for more of the same now that there is a body of work to review.

Kenny Irons, RB, Auburn

"Big Game" Kenny, as he's come to be known, has a knack for producing against big-time defenses. Heisman voters love this in a candidate. Problem is, Irons just doesn't have the moves or the all-out speed to drop jaws, and this is a big problem once the votes are being cast.

He is solid and consistent and certainly can produce the numbers and wins needed to be considered, but he's also destined to land somewhere in the middle of the voting pack. One group of voters will look to pick the best player on the best team (Auburn will not be that team) and another large faction will side with the dynamic athlete who defies convention with his moves and/or speed (Irons is not that player). If I'm a professional football scout, I absolutely love this kid, but that doesn't play well with Heisman voters.

No receivers, no defensive players, and, though we've already eliminated it as a potential scenario, no Trojans on that list, as well. Now that we've got the have-nots out of the way, let's introduce the haves.

As was stated in the opening few paragraphs, the potential winner will either be a USC Trojan, a defensive player, or a wide receiver. Equally early on in the story, we dismissed the chances of a USC player winning the award (this point is likely being drilled home all too frequently with you USC fans out there, but forgive me, I'm from the East Coast and have been sickened by the constant string of California-boy success stories ... but I digress). This leaves, in case you aren't following along at home, two possible scenarios: a defensive player winning the award or a wide receiver taking home the honor.

Let's read that last sentence again ... okay, now that it has sunk in, we can move on.

Penn State's Paul Posluszny, Ohio State's Ted Ginn, Jr., and Georgia Tech's Calvin Johnson each have an interesting story to tell...

Posluszny was the middle linebacker on one of the most dominating defenses in all of Division I football. He was a finalist for the Chuck Bednarik Award as the nation's best defensive player. But a devastating knee injury during the 2005 Orange Bowl could have ended his Heisman hopes before the season even started. "The Poz's" subsequent recovery leading into his senior season speaks more to his deservedness for the award as the land's most heralded collegiate football player than any performance on the field could.

All indications are that the fierce linebacker is poised to be more dominant than ever after a mind-numbingly regimented recovery, and a repeat performance by an undermanned Penn State team could mean more than just hearing his name early in next year's NFL draft. He is the one player on that side of the ball that can command the attention of a nation of sports fans, he plays for a team with a hefty fan base, and he has a storybook air about him that may turn voters on come late in the year as some of the aforementioned comers fade down the stretch. Speed and aggression don't go into slumps, and Posluszny is the epitome of both.

Ohio State has one Heisman hopeful that is getting a boat load of attention. This plays well into the hands of their other dynamic offensive star, junior wide receiver and return specialist Ted Ginn, Jr. As teams watch defenses expose QB Troy Smith, they should also catch Mr. Ginn electrifying the gridiron with his unmatched elusiveness in the return game and his game-breaking speed in the open field. Don't think the experts won't make a mental note each time Ginn pads his quarterback's stats with a lightning-quick dash down the sideline after a last-second dump off as the pocket collapses on Smith.

The third and final entry on my list of surprise Heisman candidates is the young man whom I feel will come away with the award once all is said in done. Georgia Tech's Calvin Johnson is a true receiver. He does not return kicks, he doesn't moonlight as a halfback or cornerback, and he is not a converted quarterback. He is a polished ('06 will be his third year as a starter), cat-quick (4.4 speed in the forty), oversized (6-4, 230 pounds), route-running Biletnikoff-in-training with soft hands and a basketball player's leaping ability.

His detractors point out that he caught only two passes in each of the last two games in 2006, totaling fewer than 40 yards combined in those two Yellow Jacket losses. While that may be accurate, it should be noted that he did not create what we like to call the "T.O. situation" on the sideline as that went down. He took it in stride, proving maturity and patience beyond his years. Johnson's speed, athleticism, and physical gifts cannot be missed, but his ability to keep his cool in the face of adverse situations and his willingness to play the role of decoy to open up his teammates define the leadership qualities needed to stand above the pack.

Georgia Tech is poised to have a resurgent year with a more experienced (but still inconsistent) Reggie Ball at QB and a young, fast, and aggressive defensive unit, which means more attention to Calvin and his game-changing abilities on the national stage. As I broke down Notre Dame's QB Brady Quinn above, I mentioned the early season tilt against the Yellow Jackets as being a key game ... it is, but more so for what it will do for Johnson than what it won't do for Quinn.

Much of the nation will tune in to see Brady peddle his Heisman-worth wares and will leave with the vivid impression of Calvin Johnson torching the Irish defense for 200 yards and three scores and a need to see more of the stud receiver. It'll keep coming all season long and ultimately, the voters won't be able to deny the combination of numbers and unexpected team success.

To say that the Heisman Trophy is a big deal in our sporting society is as gross an understatement as there is. The award's prestige is surpassed only by the pomp and circumstance that accompanies it in the days and weeks leading up to the presentation gala (and make no mistake, it is a gala). The roster of past winners reads like a veritable who's who of football's rich history. Hornung, Staubach, Simpson, Plunkett, Campbell, Allen, Sanders ... the names we hear so often when chronicling the growth of football in our nation appear with alarming frequency on the roster of past award recipients. Sometimes, though, what is perceived as the norm is not always a requirement.

Mark this as the year that the threshold between what is expected and what has never been seen before in college football history is broken.

Week 1 Predictions

For entertainment purposes only!

Northern Illinois @ Ohio State (-18.5) — Ohio State all the way, 35-7.
California @ Tennessee (-2) — The Vols will win it late with a stellar defensive showing, 14-10.
Virginia @ Pittsburgh (-4) — Take the points, but Pitt should win a nail-biter, 28-27.
Notre Dame @ Georgia Tech(+8) — Georgia Tech will win outright, 42-35.
Florida State @ Miami, FL (-4) — If this game is played, take the points, FSU wins 26-24.

Tease of the Week — USC @ Arkansas (+8) — Tease USC to -2 ... no way the Hogs take down the mighty Trojans this early and two points is an easy cover.

Pick of the Week — Staying in that USC/Arkansas game, take the under (o/u 59 pts). Final score will be in the ballpark of 20-14.

Posted by Matt Thomas at 10:55 PM | Comments (1)

Alex Rodriguez and the Price of Greatness

Five Quick Hits

* The Cardinals aren't blowing anyone away this season, but Chris Carpenter should be a heavy favorite to win his second straight NL Cy Young Award.

* The NFL regular season starts in one week. It's about time.

* This year, for the first time, I have NFL Network and ESPNews at my house. During football season, that could be perilous.

* No matter what happens over the next two weeks, sports fans across the world wish Andre Agassi the best.

* Agassi finishes his career as one of the greatest male tennis players of the Open Era. The only guys in his league are Bjorn Borg, Jimmy Connors, Roger Federer, Rod Laver, Ivan Lendl, John McEnroe, and Pete Sampras.

***

Today, Alex Rodriguez is one of the most reviled players in Major League Baseball. Yankees fans hate him for his inconsistent performance and failure to live up to expectations. Old-school fans are turned off by the huge contracts he's signed. And almost everyone was upset by his decision to sign with the Yankees, baseball's "Evil Empire," as Red Sox president Larry Lucchino famously labeled them.

While the Yankees roll — they recently completed a five-game sweep of Boston and now lead the AL East by an insurmountable eight games — Rodriguez is currently mired in what is probably the worst slump of his career. He's batting a career-low .275 and, as of this writing, has only one hit in his last 20 at-bats. For most players, there's nothing wrong with hitting .275. But for the reigning AL MVP, making over $20 million this year and coming off a season in which he hit 50 points higher than that, it's not up to par. Even more troubling than A-Rod's numbers — which are low across the board, not just in batting average — has been his inconsistency.

The Yankees are a good enough team that they don't need Rodriguez to have an MVP-caliber season. The year he's having — .870 OPS coming up on triple-digit runs and RBI — would be fine if A-Rod were steadier. But he's been up and down all year, and his play in the field has been an outright liability: he's on pace for a career high in errors and a career low in fielding percentage. A-Rod's lack of consistency looks especially bad when he is compared with teammate Derek Jeter.

It's a natural comparison for several reasons. Jeter is the team's captain and, more than any other player, the public face of the franchise. Rodriguez is the team's highest-paid player and, at the beginning of the season, was widely regarded as the best in the game. Both are natural shortstops, though Rodriguez switched to third base when he came to New York. They're about the same age (Jeter is 32; A-Rod, 31) and started their careers around the same time.

This season, Jeter — a great player, but one with far less natural talent than Rodriguez — is having a much better season. He leads A-Rod in hits, doubles, triples, total bases, runs, steals, on-base percentage, average, and OPS, though Rodriguez still has the edge in power numbers like home runs and RBI. The numbers favor Jeter even before you factor in his steadiness and clutch performances, and Jeter is the king of intangibles.

Rodriguez, since joining the Yankees, has seemed mentally fragile, psyched out by the pressure of playing in the nation's biggest media market, the pressure of playing in games that matter, the pressure of adjusting to a new position, or all three. While Rodriguez was excellent last season, in 2004 (his first year in New York), A-Rod's offensive production was markedly down, and this year, he's having perhaps the worst season of his career.

Rodriguez has always been an exceptional player. He was dominant in high school and the Mariners chose him with the first overall pick in the 1993 draft. Rodriguez was briefly called up to the majors in '94 and '95, but his first full season was 1996. That year, A-Rod got 215 hits, including 91 for extra bases. He led the American League in runs and the majors in batting average, finishing second in the AL MVP voting.

After a sophomore slump, Rodriguez reeled off three more incredible years for the Mariners, winning the AL Silver Slugger for shortstops each season. His OPS was over .900 each season, he hit more than 40 homers each year, averaging 122 runs and RBI, and he had double-digit steals each season.

After the 2000 season, A-Rod's contract with Seattle expired, and a bidding war ensued. On December 11, 2000, Rodriguez became the highest-paid player in the history of professional sports, signing a $252 million contract with the Texas Rangers. The Rangers didn't get any better with A-Rod in town, but he continued to perform at an incredible level. From 2001-2003, Rodriguez had over 180 hits, 80 extra-base hits, and 120 runs every season. He averaged — averaged — 52 home runs, 132 RBI, 382 total bases, 83 walks, and 15 steals, all while playing Gold Glove-caliber shortstop. His overall OPS in Texas was over 1.000.

Despite A-Rod's excellence, the Rangers were terrible, finishing last in the AL West all three years. After the '03 season, Texas traded Rodriguez to the Yankees. In 2004, most people attributed A-Rod's struggles — his power numbers plummeted and his offensive production was the lowest since his '97 campaign — to his adjustment to playing third base. When Rodriguez bounced back in 2005, that seemed to be the case: 2004 was an aberration, a one-year blip. Today, though, it's '05 that looks like the blip. Rodriguez is on pace for career lows in batting average and slugging percentage, with a career high in strikeouts. Recently, he assumed a new position in the batting order, but that doesn't seem to have helped.

No matter what A-Rod's results this season, his legacy is secure. He could retire tomorrow and be a first-ballot Hall of Famer. What's at stake for Rodriguez now is whether he's an all-time great or a true immortal. If A-Rod does retire tomorrow, or hits .275 and slugs .475 for the rest of his career, he'll still make it to Cooperstown, but no one will mention him in "best ever" debates. But if Rodriguez plays another five or 10 years like he did in Seattle and Texas, he'll be in the same sentence as people like Honus Wagner and Cal Ripken, Jr.

If Rodriguez never recovers the form he had before joining the Yankees, that will be the price he pays. And only A-Rod will know whether it was worth trading immortality for money.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 10:17 PM | Comments (2)

2006 NFL Preview: New York Jets

Last Year

If there were any hopes that the Jets could possibly stay afloat without quarterback Chad Pennington, a four-win season following him tearing his rotator cuff again dashed any optimism. The Jets were forced to turn over their offense to Vinny Testaverde and Brooks Bollinger, and it didn't help that veteran runner Curtis Martin hit a wall after a career-season. The ship sunk under former captain Herman Edwards and the new skipper, Eric Mangini, will need CPR to make Gang Green a winner this year.

What We Learned From Last Year

After suffering through a season without their star quarterback, the Jets front office made it a priority to sign a capable backup in case the scenario would recur.

The idea was good and the contingency plan was forcibly put into action, but Jay Fiedler was also lost for the season in Week 3.

That meeting with Jacksonville on September 25th proved to be quite costly on the injury front as the Jets lost their top two quarterbacks.

From there on, the offense was crippled.

Third-year quarterback Brooks Bollinger took over after Vinny Testaverde compiled a few uninspiring outings. Neither hurler was overly accurate, particularly down the field, and opponents stacked the front lines.

Curtis Martin had a tough time navigating his way through all the traffic and set personal lows for carries and yards only one season after setting new personal bests for in those categories.

He didn't look fresh right from the start of the season and just seemed more and more worn down as it progressed.

Needless to say, without a functional quarterback and a fluid running back, the offense was anemic.

Equipped with the league's second-worst rushing attack, they averaged a measly 15 points per game.

The Jets offensive line was a very stout unit at one point, but after right tackle Kareem McKenzie signed with the cross-town rival Giants in the offseason, the remaining starters aged very quickly.

Without the offensive weapons to compete, the burden fell on the shoulder of the Jets defense. To their credit, although they spent more time on the field than any other defense, they were still competitive.

One player who didn't give his all was defensive end John Abraham. He had been expecting to leave since the middle of the season — possibly even earlier — and was in a hibernation mode to preserve himself for his future team. Even so, he was still the sack leader on an inconsistent defensive line.

Many people were waiting on Dewayne Robertson and Shaun Ellis to full establish themselves as unquestioned starters, but both proved to still be up-and-down youngsters. 2002 first-round pick Bryan Thomas came along slowly, but his strengths lied in run-stopping, not pass rushing.

The second level was led by sophomore standout Jonathan Vilma. In two seasons, he has already accumulated 276 tackles, not bad for a guy who was considered to be too small for the pro level. Starting partner Eric Barton, who is a tackling machine in his own right, was limited to only four games with an injury and replacing him proved to be an impossible task last season.

In the secondary, Pro Bowl cornerback Ty Law received a lot of attention for his league-leading 10 interceptions, but it was two young safeties who anchored the defensive backs.

Sophomore Erik Coleman and precocious rookie Kerry Rhodes were very good for the Jets, covering quite a bit of ground in the passing game. Coleman slipped a little bit in his second season, but Rhodes started every game in his first year and looks to be developing into a ball hawk.

At corner, after losing out on Antoine Winfield two seasons ago, the Jets settled on David Barrett, but he has underwhelmed in consecutive seasons. Rookie Justin Miller had a quiet season at cornerback, but proved his versatility as a return man on kickoffs.

Eric Mangini is from the Bill Belichick tree of coaching, which inherently means that he wants to implement the 3-4 defense. He inherits a talent-deficient roster on both sides of the ball and this year will be telling as who fits the big picture and who is on their way out.

This Year

The 3-4 defense is going through a growth spurt in the NFL right, but most teams who have switched to it have had minimal success in their first season.

The Jets will be no different as they look to find the proper parts for the new scheme.

At first, stud linebacker Jonathan Vilma was not welcome to the change, but he has altered his opinion and is now on the same page as the coaching staff.

He will be counted on as one of the starting inside linebackers, where he will have to butt heads with more blockers, and you have to wonder if he will thrive there. He is a bit undersized and asking him to deal with guards and centers is not his strength. His tackle numbers probably won't drop too much, but he may not be the same playmaker in this type of defense.

Eric Barton's tricep has recovered from a serious tear last season and he will be back beside Vilma, on the inside.

On the outside, the Jets will be armed with Victor Hobson and end-turned-linebacker, Bryan Thomas. Combined, the two only have 9.5 sacks and both have been in the NFL at least four seasons. Matt Chatham, who worked with Mangini in New England, will be in the rotation and he might be a sleeper since Mangini was so adamant to bring him over.

The secondary is under construction as the Jets no longer have a top-tier cornerback. Sophomore Justin Miller steps into a starting role and David Barrett will partner with him. Andre Dyson was brought over in free agency after a disappointing season in Seattle. The Jets have a solid, but no one who can handle the elite wide receivers in the AFC.

The front lines also figure to be a work in progress, even more so than the secondary. There is really no nose tackle present and that position is always critical to the 3-4.

Dewayne Robertson will get a crack at the starting job, but he is too small to demand a couple of blockers. Kimo Von Oelhoffen is familiar with the nuances of the end position in this scheme, but with so little depth behind Robertson, he too has been working as a nose tackle. Oelhoffen is 35-years-old and his skills are deteriorating as an end, never mind as a space-eater in the middle of the line.

Shaun Ellis will start at the other end position, but throughout his career, he has been extremely dependent on John Abraham. In the past, his production has diminished when Abraham was not around— or not playing well enough to keep extra blocking off of Ellis.

On offense, the Jets have finally stockpiled a stable of quarterbacks in the case the Chad Pennington is not healthy enough to play.

Coming off two rotator cuff surgeries and not having the strongest arm to begin with, the Jets will once again be a very compact offense this season if Pennington has the reins.

This team looks like it is going to struggle offensively and in all likelihood, they will end up replacing Pennington for rookie Kellen Clemens or Patrick Ramsey midseason.

Pennington is still very accurate and gives this team their best chance to win, but it looks like the best situation here would be a mutual split between the team and him. He can thrive somewhere else in a West Coast offense, but it just hasn't worked for him in New York and the team needs to start heading in a different direction.

That being said, Clemens is likely the future starter. Had he not broken his ankle during his senior season, he would have easily been a first-round pick.

The Jets allowed quite a bit of their offensive line to walk in free agency the past two offseasons (McKenzie, Kevin Mawae, and Jason Fabini), so it was vital for them to replenish their stock with draft picks. Tackle D'Brickashaw Ferguson and center Nick Mangold will start off the bat and will be Clemens' protection for years to come.

With speculation mounting in regards to the retirement of Curtis Martin, the Jets acquired former 1,000-yard back Kevan Barlow from San Francisco. Barlow is a good running back, but was lost in the shuffle as the 49ers turned from a potent offense to a limp offense after 2003. When the Jets offensive line comes together, he could return into the starter that he used to be.

Whoever the quarterback is on this team, one thing is for sure: he won't have many weapons to throw to. Laveranues Coles still has the speed, but he's going to be getting a lot of attention from opposing secondaries. The Jets traded a second-round pick for Justin McCareins a couple of seasons ago, but he has regressed since coming over. Now he might even lose his starter's spot to Jericho Cotchery. Throw in Doug Jolley, who is a mediocre tight end, and not only is this year's crop of targets thin, but the future holds little optimism since the Jets are not developing any top-notch prospects.

Coach Mangini inherits a roster that is a mess right now. They need to clear Pennington off the books, find more pieces for their 3-4, and determine whether Kevan Barlow and Kellen Clemens are in fact the future. Outside of that, there isn't much to look forward to this season.

Over/Under: 6

While some peg the Buffalo Bills to be on par with the Jets this season, the truth is that the Jets are by far the worse team and will sit in the very basement of the AFC East on their own. Their win-percentage with Chad Pennington is much better than without him, but you have to figure that he is not part of the future plan. They play: @TEN, NE, @BUF, IND, @JAC, MIA, DET, @CLE, @NE, CHI, HOU, @GB, BUF, @MIN, @MIA, and OAK.

Fantasy Sleeper

As poor as the Jets were last season, Laveranues Coles was still good for 845 yards and five touchdowns. That's not so bad considering who his quarterbacks were. Chad Pennington may not have the arm for the deep ball, but he is accurate enough to find Coles several times per game. As long as Pennington is the starter, Coles should have some value.

This is the fourth consecutive season of comprehensive NFL previews by Dave Golokhov. Stay tuned as he brings you previews for all 32 NFL teams! He can be reached at [email protected].

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 9:43 PM | Comments (0)