NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 21

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson overcame an early blown tire that dropped him to 39th before mounting a late charge that gave him his first win at Indy and fourth win this season. Johnson boosted his points lead to 107 over Matt Kenseth, who finished second.

"You know, I found out that kissing the bricks after an Indy win is overrated, and quite unsanitary," says Johnson. "Just think of all the guys that have won here. The list is endless, and all of their filthy lips have been on those bricks. Really, kissing the bricks gave me no feeling at all. I guess now I know what Kurt Busch's new bride feels like."

2. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth remained solid with a second-place finish in the Brickyard 400, his fourth top-five finish in his last five starts at Indy. Kenseth now trails Johnson by 107 points heading into the Chase's final five races.

"And there's no point in me catching him," says Kenseth. "It's shaping up to be a two-man battle between Jimmie and myself. Sounds boring, doesn't it? There's no bad blood between us. That's why I'm using these final five races of the Chase to create some tension and angst among us. Tony Stewart has agreed to be my special consultant. I'm hoping to use his suggestions on how to piss other drivers off. If I can wreck Jimmie a couple of times before the final 10 races begin, this might be exciting after all."

3. Kevin Harvick — Harvick finished third after leading 18 laps at the Brickyard, and was followed in fourth by Richard Childress Racing teammate Clint Bowyer. Harvick moves up one spot in the Nextel Cup points to fifth, and leads handily in the Busch points after a win in Saturday's Kroger 200 at O'Reilly Raceway Park.

"If only I would have won the Winn-Dixie 250 earlier this year in Daytona," says Harvick, "I would have completed the season sweep of grocery store-sponsored Busch races. But winning the Bashas' Supermarkets 300 and the Kroger 200 in the same year is quite a feat. Next year, I hope to win all three of those races, plus the Double Coupon 225 to make it a grocery store grand slam."

4. Jeff Burton — Burton started from the pole and dominated the first half of the race, leading 87 of the first 109 laps. Then, suddenly, the No. 31 Cingular Wireless Chevrolet lost handling and track position. Burton eventually finished 15th and held on to third in the points, 375 back of Johnson.

"I don't know what happened," Burton comments, "but we suddenly started losing track position faster than Mel Gibson losing credibility. Who knew that Mel's lethal weapon was his potty mouth?"

5. Denny Hamlin — Hamlin scored his ninth top-10 finish of the year with a tenth at Indy, which improved his position in the points one spot to seventh. Hamlin now sits 476 out of first.

"Hey, there's more to Joe Gibbs Racing than Tony Stewart," says Hamlin. "I'm a rookie, so I'm thankful Tony is my teammate. Otherwise, I would be one of those rookies that he says doesn't know their place on the track. Who's this Dale Earnhardt, Sr. character he keeps talking about?"

6. Jeff Gordon — Gordon fell out of contention early when a broken sway bar and ensuing complications left him three laps down. Several timely cautions and good work by the No. 24 pit crew got Gordon back on the lead lap on lap 87, and he kept advancing to finish sixteenth.

"It's no fun sputtering around the track with a broken sway bar," says Gordon. "I was going awfully slow. I know what Michael Watrip must have felt like in qualifying."

7. Kyle Busch — Busch remained fourth in the Cup points standings with a seventh-place finish in the Brickyard 400. He remains fourth in the points, 391 out of first.

"I felt like I've matured a great deal this season," says Busch, enjoying a bowl of free Frosted Flakes, courtesy of his sponsor. "The 'mature' Kyle Busch avoids accidents like those at the end of Sunday's race. The 'old' Kyle Busch would have caused the wrecks and then rammed the drivers in the parking lot for good measure."

8. Tony Stewart — Last year's Brickyard champion has his troubles, including an extra pit stop to tighten loose lug nuts, but still finished eighth. Stewart moved up to ninth in the points race, and is 505 behind Johnson and seven ahead of Dale Earnhardt, Jr. in 10th.

"According to many analysts," says Stewart, "I'm a lock to make the Chase. According to Carl Edwards, I'm a moron. I've got news for you, Carl. I've been called worse, much worse ... by my relatives."

9. Mark Martin — Martin recorded his fourth top-five of the season with a fourth at the famed Brickyard. The AAA No. 6 Roush Fusion wasn't quite good enough to win, but it was good enough to hang among the leaders for most of the day. Martin maintains his position of sixth in the points, 412 out of first.

"Let me ask you this," Martin says. "Does Tour de France 'winner' Floyd Landis' urine have a higher octane count than the fuel we use in racing? I heard when he gives a urine sample, he has to use a titanium specimen cup."

10. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. — Earnhardt rebounded from consecutive last place finishes to finish sixth at Indy and re-enter the Cup points standings. Earnhardt is now 10th in the points, 37 ahead of Kasey Kahne in 11th.

"My luck is changing by the minute," says Earnhardt. "I'm in decent Chase contention, and I'll be appearing on The Daily Show With Jon Stewart. I wonder who will be more uncomfortable: Jon talking about NASCAR, or me talking about politics?"