Sports Q&A: Smelling Jeter; AFC Races

Calvin from Bronx, NY writes, "Avon will soon introduce a men's fragrance called "Driven," which will bear the name of New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter. Do you expect this product to sell?

You bet your Yankees baseball cap "Driven" will sell, but not as well as cyclist Floyd Landis' new cologne, "Yellow Jersey." Of course, Landis' cologne will be marketed to deer hunters as buck lure. And Jeter's teammate, Alex Rodriguez, is getting into the perfume business, as well, with his scent "Clutch.” "Clutch,” which boasts the scent of freshly-minted bills, will be chemically formulated to make its wearer smell best when it matters least.

Also in the fold is Barry Bonds, who, in conjunction with BALCO, is set to release "Juiced” in time for the 2006 holiday season. The fragrance, made of unknown ingredients, reportedly goes on so smoothly you won't even know your wearing it, especially if you accidentally spill some on you.

Jeter worked with his mother and sister to create the fragrance that will appeal to men and women alike. The scent is a blend of chilled grapefruit, clean oak moss, and spice, and its versatility will be emphasized. In addition to wearing it at night or in the daytime, you can also mix it with your favorite alcoholic beverage, clean your floors with it, or use it as a seasoning. It also efficiently repels mosquitoes. Avon plans to market the cologne to a very specific demographic: 12- to 42-year-olds who will buy anything with Derek Jeter's name on it.

The name "Driven” was chosen because it reflects Jeter's passion and desire on the baseball diamond. Driven is also Jeter's favorite movie starring both Sylvester Stallone and Burt Reynolds. Some of the rejected names for the cologne were "N.Y.P.U.,” "Smell the Glove,” and "Pol-0 for 4.”

Clark from Chevy Chase, MD writes, "Of all of last year's AFC division winners, which do you think are least likely to repeat in 2006?”

I think there's a possibility that three of the four division winners in 2006 will repeat. The Colts should easily win the AFC South division again, barring catastrophic injuries. The other divisions are much tighter. The Bengals will try to hold off the Steelers in the North, while the Ravens look to surprise. Miami makes a run at New England in the East, while in the AFC West, Denver hopes to top the Chiefs and Chargers again.

Of last year's division winners not named Indianapolis, New England is a strong candidate to win the AFC East again. Only a few years back, this division was one of the league's most balanced. This year, the Bills and Jets are coming off seasons that saw only one road win between them. And, both teams have new head coaches this year, Dick Jauron in Buffalo and Eric Mangini in New York. Quarterback issues, among other things, will keep these teams from challenging the Patriots.

In Buffalo, J.P. Losman and Kelly Holcomb will probably end up sharing duties, while running back Willis McGahee can talk a good game, but hasn't had one in about a year.

Chad Pennigton will start at QB for the Jets. That is, until the inevitable occurs: an injured shoulder caused by a rugged handshake. Mangini will be left wishing he could put Pennington's head on the bodies of Patrick Ramsey or Kellen Clemens.

That leaves the Dolphins as the only challengers to the Patriots' AFC East claim. Coach Nick Saban won't let trivial matters, such as dinner with the President of the United States, hinder Miami's attempt to unseat New England. He's got Daunte Culpepper at quarterback, who, even on one leg, is better than Gus Frerotte on two. And Culpepper will have a downfield target in Chris Chambers, who is physically much like Randy Moss, but without the issues. It's a tie, but the Pats win the conference record tiebreaker for the division crown.

In the AFC North, one would think the Steelers would be likely to repeat as division winners. There's only one problem: they didn't win the division, the Bengals did. The odds of a Bengals' repeat as division winner rest with the stability of Carson Palmer's left knee. If Palmer stays healthy, the Bengals will be in the division hunt. If he gets hurt, whether it be football-related or because of a scooter wreck, the Steelers control the division. That is, if Ben Roethlisberger can keep his helmet on. He's young, tough, and will probably be contractually obligated not to ride anything with two wheels.

This discussion wouldn't be complete without mentioning new Baltimore quarterback Steve McNair, who's played through more injuries than Palmer and Roethlisberger have suffered. The Ravens could possibly win the division, but only if McNair survives the season and Kyle Boller finds a permanent spot on the bench. More than likely, though, Baltimore will beat Pittsburgh and/or Cincinnati at some point in the season and possibly cost one of those teams the division. I'm guessing the Steelers take the division this year.

Denver won the AFC West last year by three games over the Chiefs, but the race should be much closer this year. Why? Because Kansas City running back Larry Johnson has to have a monster year, or he will be the most hated player in fantasy football. The pressure of living up to being the number one or two pick in most fantasy drafts has to be unnerving. Can Johnson handle it? Actually, there is no pressure to produce from a fantasy standpoint — he doesn't get paid for that. The pressure will be on Johnson to carry the full weight of the KC running game — he does get paid for that. Whatever his results, Johnson will have to do it without left tackle Willie Roaf, who retired.

The Chiefs will score, but will the addition of cornerback Ty Law improve the defense enough to make a difference?

Denver's running game will be potent as always, no matter who's running the ball, Tatum Bell or Ron Dayne. Former Green Bay receiver Javon Walker pouted his way out of a Packer uniform. He'll likely start ahead of Ashley Lelie, who was unhappy even before Walker showed up. The Broncos are always well-balanced, and have a leader at quarterback, Jake Plummer, who can take them to the playoffs, but no further. Denver will win the division, but only by a game over the Chiefs.

Mike from Carnegie, PA writes, "Cleveland Browns tight end Kellen Winslow claimed he is the best tight end in the league, even at only 90%. Is he?”

Ninety percent of Kellen Winslow? That equals approximately 30% of Antonio Gates, or 35% of Tony Gonzalez, or 40% of Todd Heap. Winslow hasn't even played enough games to make such bold statements. Of all the tight ends with five career catches, which is exactly how many Winslow has, he is better than 90% of those.

Get Your Questions Answered!

Do you have a question or comment? Need those tough tax law questions answered? Looking to cure that flesh-eating disease? Need a discreet steroid distributor? Then send your question/medical records/W2s/dilemma along with your name and hometown to [email protected]. You may get the answer you're looking for in the next column on Friday, August 25th.

Comments and Conversation

August 4, 2006

anthony sacco:

I can still hear the Vik fans when Cullpeper came back, “we want Gus” you all forget gus set records when D.C. was away on sick leave that put the Vik’s into the play offs. Gus is a better player then Cullpeper.

Leave a Comment

Featured Site