NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 19

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson finished ninth in New Hampshire, recording his 15th top-10 result of the year. He increased his lead in the points over Matt Kenseth from 51 to 68 points.

"I'm so consistent it sickens me," says Johnson. "Much like Danica Patrick. She's consistent — she's never won a race, yet she expects to get a ride with a contending team. This is NASCAR, Danica. You start at the bottom and work your way up. I hear Michael Watrip is looking for drivers."

2. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth hung tough on a hot day in Loudon, overcoming handling issues and a late brake problem to squeeze out of 14th-place finish. Kenseth now trails Jimmie Johnson in the points by 68, and leads third-place Jeff Burton by 243.

"It's a miracle I was able to finish that well," says Kenseth. "And it has nothing to do with handling or brakes. Jeff Gordon finished right behind me. I thought for sure I was going to get rear-ended. I guess 14th-place isn't as important as first-place to Gordon."

3. Jeff Burton — Burton moved to third in the points with his 13th consecutive top-15 finish, a seventh in the Lenox Industrial Tools 300 at Loudon. He now stands 311 points out of first, and 2,390 ahead of Brandon Ash in 54th-place.

"As you know," says Burton, "I'm driving the No. 31 Cingular Wireless car made infamous by Robbie Gordon. And speaking of Gordon's, if one of them is not hitting someone from behind, as Jeff did at Chicagoland, then one of them is causing someone to hit them from behind, as Robbie did to Michael Waltrip. Not that Waltrip needs any help hitting someone."

4. Kyle Busch — Starting fourth, Busch led a race-high 107 laps in winning in New Hampshire in a double-overtime dogfight that saw fuel mileage play a huge role. Busch made the largest forward leap in the points, moving from eighth to fourth, and sits 334 out of the lead. Busch celebrated with the usual burnouts, but surprised everyone in Victory Circle by dousing himself in Frosted Flakes.

"They're great! Is it any surprise that fuel mileage was an issue?" asks Busch. "The race went eight laps longer than scheduled, for Mike Helton's sake! There was a wreck during a caution, as well, involving Robbie Gordon of all people. NASCAR's lucky that any cars finished that race with gas in the tank."

5. Mark Martin — Martin was on the tail end of of 2-3-4 Roush Racing finish at Loudon, following teammates Carl Edwards and Greg Biffle across the line. It was Martin's 600th consecutive start for Roush, and a testament to his longevity as a competitive driver on the circuit.

"Wow! I'm old as dirt," says Martin. "I can remember racing on sand at Daytona. And I remember when drivers disagreed, they didn't just talk about it to the media, they fought about it. And not by throwing things at each other, like a Busch brothers fight would be. They actually hit each other with their fists."

6. Kevin Harvick — Harvick followed a Saturday win in the Busch Series New England 200 with a fifth in Sunday's Lenox Industrial Tools 300. On Sunday, he passed three cars that ran out of gas to penetrate the top 10. Harvick moves up one spot to eighth in the Nextel Cup points standings, 381 out of first.

"Does the Busch series work on the Chase format?" asks Harvick. "If so, I'm building an insurmountable lead for nothing. And speaking of 'Chase." How many couples do you think have conceived while watching a race and decided to name their potential son 'Chase?' That's so white trash."

7. Jeff Gordon — Gordon qualified seventh for Sunday's race, but a meeting with Robbie Gordon's rear bumper left Jeff with handling issues. Still, Gordon managed to finish 15th, and remained in the top 10 in points, in ninth, 447 out of first.

"I just can't seem to stay off of rear bumpers lately," says Gordon. "In my defense, I did try to apologize, albeit insincerely, to Matt Kenseth. But he would have none of it. I though maybe we could take a drive and talk things over. I guess asking Matt to 'take a spin' with me wasn't a good idea."

8. Tony Stewart — While leading in New Hampshire, Stewart was taken out by pole-sitter Ryan Newman, who was running two laps down at the time. Newman tried to pass on the inside, but pushed Stewart up the track, where the No. 20 Home Depot Chevy spun and hit the wall. After a lengthy repair session, Stewart returned and finished 37th and fell to 11th in the points, 458 from the top.

"Newman Bristoled my ride," complains Stewart, "while I was leading. And it knocked me out of Chase contention, for the time being. If Newman had a neck, I would choke him by it. On the positive side, this gives me the opportunity to do my Jerry Seinfeld impression. Newman!!!"

9. Kasey Kahne — Kahne broke a string of three-straight finishes outside the top 20 with an eighth at Loudon. Kahne survived a skirmish on lap 97 when he hit Ryan Newman's spinning No. 12, then was hit in the rear bumper himself by another car.

"So Elliott Sadler is taking over in the No. 19 for Jeremy Mayfield?" asks Kahne. "I think Jeremy pretty much dug his own grave in that deal. But I'm glad to have Elliott as a teammate. With my looks and his accent, we should get all the ladies."

10. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. — Earnhardt took a tumble in the points by finishing last in New Hampshire as a result of an engine failure that ended his day early on lap 134. It was Earnhardt's second "did not finish" of the year, and he dropped from third to seventh in the points.

"Hey, all you guys at the engine shop," says Earnhardt, "this Bud's not for you. The guys in the decal shop would never make a mistake that would result in an engine failure."