It seems like a year ago that the NBA playoffs started. It also seems like a year ago that I embarked on a list of 40 NBA-related items to chronicle some of the best, worst, and most intriguing stories of the playoffs.
My initial dream of pioneering into the world of list making seems like a distant memory.
My eureka moment of discovering 40 as the perfect number for a list feels like ages ago.
So, with no basketball having been played in the last four days, I thought it was the perfect time to try and complete the list. With the NBA Finals starting on Thursday night, there is going to be plenty of worthwhile stories to write about, so while there is no basketball in the meantime, I figured it'd be a good opportunity to fill out the last 10 items of the list with ideas and comments that might not otherwise have a chance to be brought to light.
After all, who is going to want to talk about important things like what Shaq would look like in a Superman outfit, or what would Dirk Nowitzki look like with cornrows, when there are real games being played?
Smaller, more obscure stories like these only flourish in the space between games. And, with four days of no basketball until the NBA Finals, what more perfect time to ponder whether Antoine Walker eats a cheeseburger during half-time of games, and what might be on the cheeseburger?
See, I bet you hadn't wondered that before.
That's why I'm here.
You have to give ideas like this time to breath while there is little or no real news to speak of.
Thursday night we will finally begin the NBA Finals, but, more importantly, right now we will finally conclude...
The 40 Things I Have Seen, Thought About, Heard Through the Grapevine, Considered, Predicted, Been Insulted By, Been Nauseated By, Scoffed At, and Missed About the 2006 NBA Playoffs So Far (In No Particular Order)
31. A sinus infection? Really, that's the big news?
Dwyane Wade has been carrying a box of tissues around with him at times during the last few days of practice.
Better put that one on the front page of the Sports section.
After suffering from flu-like symptoms, the Miami Heat said that Wade has a sinus infection that has left him feeling a little under the weather the past week.
People, it's a sinus infection. It's not a pulled hamstring.
Tell me Shaq hurt himself trying to do a backflip into his pool and I'll pay attention. Tell me that Antoine Walker got food poisoning from a cheeseburger he was trying to eat real quickly before Pat Riley saw him and I'll pay attention. Tell me that Steve Nash tripped Dirk Nowitzki down a flight of stairs in a fit of jealousy and I'll be concerned.
But, really, a sinus infection?
Dwyane Wade is going to be fine, and it's the lack of real news that sadly is making this a bigger story than it actually is.
Wade's performance isn't going to be hindered by a case of the sniffles. Of course he's going to be fine for Game 1.
What's he going to say, "Well folks, my nose hurts a bit so I think I'll just take the first game off and stay in bed and watch Sleepless in Seattle?"
Dallas doesn't really think that Wade's box of tissues is a sign that he's going to be less effective in Game 1 of the series. Worst case scenario, D-Wade's nose is a little raw from the tissues. However, I'm sure the Heat are making sure that he has the really good kind, so I wouldn't worry about it.
32. Is 1989 too far back for people to remember?
On ESPN, the fans chose Michael Jordan's 1998, Game 6, Finals-winning shot as the best playoff moment.
The shot clinched the Bulls' sixth championship.
Living in Cleveland during the entire Cavs losing to the Bulls era of basketball, I have to wonder where "The Shot" was on the list. On May 7, 1989, Jordan's buzzer beater sent the Bulls past the Cavs in dramatic style.
Rather than picking a moment from the zenith of Jordan's Bulls dynasty, wouldn't you pick the moment that started it all for Jordan in the playoffs. The first buzzer beater. The first time he glided above the rest of the league in the rarified air that he would live in for close to a decade.
"The Shot" was a harder shot than the shot that got voted as the best playoff moment. That alone should make it number one.
Three seconds left, running across the lane, shooting an inch over the outstretched arm of Craig Ehlo's hand, "The Shot" is the quintessential Jordan moment.
It was the genesis of the superstar.
It was a moment that made my father cry.
Regardless, it deserves to be the number one playoff moment.
33. Mark Cuban and David Stern should hug.
Sure, I would love to see the moment when David Stern begrudgingly hands the Larry O'Brien trophy to Mark Cuban. It would be a great television moment. It would be a great sports moment. It would be a great humor moment.
The fake smile on Stern's face next to the ecstatic, too real smile on Cuban's would be a classic moment.
I just have this sense that Cuban is going to hug Stern for some reason. I can see it in my head, and it's all too real.
It doesn't make a lot of sense, but can't part of you visualize Cuban excitedly passing the trophy on to Avery Johnson and the turning around and giving David Stern a gigantic bear hug?
Although, I'm sure Stern would try to fine Cuban for that.
34. Dirk or Dwyane?
Both players are playing in their first NBA Finals.
Both players have been simply great this season.
One of these players will most likely be the NBA Finals MVP.
The only question is, who?
In all the analysis of the upcoming series, everyone seems to agree that neither team is going to have an easy time defending the other's superstar. They talk about containing them, or slowing them down, or showing them different looks, but no one is talking about stopping them.
The matchups on the defensive side don't look good for either team. Miami doesn't really have anybody that can guard Dirk one-on-one, and Dallas doesn't really have anyone that can stay with Wade one-on-one.
For all intents and purposes, I think everyone is resigned to Wade and Dirk each averaging over 30 ppg for the series.
For all intents and purposes, I agree.
That's why one of these two guys will be the NBA Finals MVP.
35. Seven-footers don't play soccer.
Do you think anybody in Germany is going to pay that much attention to the NBA Finals, even if Dirk Nowitzki has the series of his life?
The World Cup starts this weekend, and so do the NBA Finals.
Dirk Nowitzki is German, but he plays basketball in America.
I'm struggling right now to think of anyway that anybody will pay that close attention to what he does.
I'm sure it's the same for a lot of Americans that will be watching the NBA Finals this weekend, but will not tune in to the U.S. World Cup games on Monday, Saturday, or the following Thursday.
Landon Donovan? Who's that?
Probably the same reaction a lot of people in Germany would have if you asked them about Dirk's performance in Game 1 on Thursday.
36. To repeat a couple of previous items...
Desagana Diop is playing in the NBA Finals.
I don't think I ever expected to read or write that sentence, and it bothers me.
If your name rhymes with lasagna (depending on who is pronouncing it) then you shouldn't be allowed to win a championship.
Seriously, though, after watching Diop sit on the bench for four years, it was hard to imagine that he would ever get to a place where he was a contributor on a playoff team. I had him pegged for a journey to basketball in Europe.
Instead, people are talking about the matchup problems that he will give Shaq with his ability to run.
Unbelievable.
37. The tough questions and the tough answers.
If Mark Cuban wants rivalries in the NBA so badly, why doesn't he instruct his team to give honest, in-your-face answers during the media sessions?
I want to hear Dirk call Shaq an overweight pansy.
I want to hear Josh Howard make fun of Wade and his tissues.
I want Avery Johnson to make fun of Pat Riley's hair.
I want Desagana Diop to send cheeseburgers to Antoine Walker.
This is what would make the days before the game exciting. If everyone would just get some fortitude and tell it like it is. You could pretty much guarantee that Game 1 would be phenomenal.
Trash talking is one way to put it.
Whatever it is, it would certainly do something to heat up the Dallas/Miami rivalry.
38. Aspirations to be like Dwyane Wade? Or dreams of being the next Paul Shirley?
It seems the Miami heat bench players and reserves have a lot to say about playoff basketball.
Yes, they are real NBA players. No, most of them haven't played a single minute in these playoffs.
One has to wonder if every bench player in the NBA dreams of being the next Paul Shirley.
Traveling blog. ESPN blog. Feature television show.
Sure sounds better than sitting on the bench.
39. Great headlines from four days of no basketball...
Shaq Feels Confident That Afternoon Nap on the Couch was Solid.
Jason Williams 98% Sure of Next Tattoo.
Friends Shocked by Wade's Choice to Paint Kitchen Red.
Dirk Nowitzki Seriously Considering Having Shrimp for Dinner.
Avery Johnson Excited About Arrival of The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh From Netflix.
40. To answer some questions...
1. Shaq would look scary in a Superman outfit.
2. Dirk would look thuggish with cornrows.
3. Antoine Walker eats two cheeseburgers during half-time.
4. The cheeseburgers have American cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, and onions.
See, in the days off before the Finals start, you get the answers to the really important questions that wouldn't see the light of day if there was actual basketball going on.
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