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June 30, 2006

Making an NFL Wishlist

NFL training camps are just around the corner. Before we know it, Kickoff 2006 will be upon us.

This offseason has been relatively quiet this year. With the new extension of the Collective Bargaining Agreement, the salary cap has been increased and will continue to increase over the next six years.

Teams have also learned how to manage the cap better and fewer big name players are released.

Given the relatively uneventful offseason, I thought I would write down what I would like to see this NFL season.

Fewer Preseason Games

NFL preseason games are NFL football at its worst. The regular starters play very little until the end of the preseason schedule. Meanwhile, the field is littered with players who won't get into a regular season game without a ticket.

It's hard to blame the teams. Coaches don't want to take the chance that a regular starter will get hurt. But the starters play a little in each of the four or five games. There are more opportunities for starters to get injured.

If I had my way, the preseason would be two games instead of four or five.

I can't understand why anyone pays good money to see bad football in the preseason. Most players who will be on the team only play in the last few games anyway. So, forget all these other needless games. Give the players a shorter preseason and let them have fewer opportunities to suffer an injury that ruins some team's season.

No More Prima Donnas

I don't care who has gold teeth. I don't want to watch someone doing sit-ups in their driveway.

I want to see football. Enough of these players who think they are bigger than the game.

No more personal theme songs, no more websites, no more books.

The only player who should be in a commercial is the league MVP or Super Bowl champion. Somewhere along the line, the continual quest for endorsement deals became more important than winning football games.

Watch the NFL draft. When players are drafted, someone asks them where they would like to go and some players will be honest enough to say that they would like to go to a big market.

That is code for "If I go to New York, I will get my picture on a bunch of billboards and millions of dollars in endorsement deals."

If you haven't won anything, don't put your picture on a cereal box.

Decent, Fan-Friendly Primetime Matchups

Primetime football is a great television event. What ruins it? Blowouts.

I don't like the idea of switching games to try and get more intriguing games on television. I think this idea is unfair to fans who buy tickets.

I plan a big NFL game event every year with a bunch of friends. If that Sunday afternoon game is moved to Sunday or Monday night, the tickets are useless to me.

People have to go to work during the week and my entire weekend gets ruined if the game gets moved. If I wanted to go to a game that won't end until midnight, I'll buy a ticket.

If I buy a ticket for Sunday afternoon, that's when I want to see the game.

Besides, a Colts/Steelers game can be a one-sided affair just like the Patriots/49ers game would most likely be. You just never know.

That said, I hope that the night games go down to last-minute field goals.

Enough of Fantasy Football

I used to play fantasy football. But I don't anymore.

Here is what you get reduced to. Let's say that the Colts are your team. But they are playing the Patriots and you have Tom Brady as your fantasy QB.

Now you root for Tom Brady to throw a bunch of touchdowns against your team. Individual stats become the most important thing on your mind. Who cares who wins the game as long as your field goal kicker gets that 50-yard field goal?

Enough. If you are scouring the injury updates for hours and trying to trade Larry Johnson for Carson Palmer, you should get off the couch and play some football at the park.

Forget Los Angeles

The NFL has this unrequited love affair with Los Angeles. And yet, Los Angeles keeps giving the NFL the cold shoulder.

It is a very dysfunctional relationship that is pretty close to stalking. The NFL keeps coming around, calling all the time, and Los Angeles smiles politely and tries to keep its distance.

The second largest market has had lots of chances at NFL teams and all have left for better lives somewhere else.

The millions of dollars sitting in Los Angeles are hard for the NFL to pass on, but they should. Otherwise, some loyal fan base is going to lose their team to the sunny southwest. Are you nervous, Indianapolis?

Get Rid of Instant Replay

Football is a simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you run with the ball. You run until you get knocked to the ground.

In the NFL, you haven't caught the ball until you make an "athletic move" with the ball. You need two feet in bounds unless someone knocks you out of bounds.

The NFL rulebook has made the game too complicated. And we still get some strange calls such as the Troy Polamalu interception/fumble of Peyton Manning in the playoffs. Remember the tuck rule?

If officials blow the odd call, so what? Mistakes are still made with instant replay and we have to stop the game and wait for them.

The game is played by people and officiated by people. We need to deal with bad calls and let the game go on. Somehow, we had NFL champions before instant replay and we don't consider them tainted.

Let the players play and officials call the game.

End the Perfect Season Quest Early

Every year, the last team to lose their first game of the season gets the 1972 Miami Dolphin comparison.

Will a team go undefeated? Will Don Shula and other 1972 alums drink their champagne?

This story gets old every year. The great thing about the Dolphin's season was that they won every game including the Super Bowl.

Yet, the media (read: ESPN) drag the story on and every week ask: "Will (insert team name here) be the second team to go undefeated in the regular season?"

Regular season? Who cares? Winning every regular season game and not winning the Super Bowl isn't worthy of a comparison with the 1972 Dolphins.

Please, no 1972 Dolphin comparisons until an undefeated team gets to the playoffs.

Another Competitive Season

The great thing about the NFL season is that the games mean so much. With only 16 games, there isn't a great deal of room for mistakes.

One key loss can ruin a season. Hopefully, the games are close this season and the playoffs are contested by the top teams in the league.

In the end, the Super Bowl in Miami will be a great game with Peyton Manning winning his deserved championship.

Posted by Jeff Moore at 11:37 PM | Comments (0)

Looking Back at NBA Draft Night

I sometimes wonder how hard it really is to become a general manager of an NBA team. Wednesday night was definitely one of those times. A lot of the clowns running these franchises have a penchant for making highly questionable decisions. Wednesday's draft was no exception.

Houston, what was the problem?

For about five minutes last night, I thought Houston had stolen the draft, but after they traded Rudy Gay and Stromile Swift for Shane Battier, that distinction instead goes to Memphis. Gay was the closest thing this year's draft had to a Paul Pierce/Gilbert Arenas situation. He was the guy who dropped too far for all the wrong reasons.

I mean, seriously, the biggest knock on the guy was that he wasn't "assertive" enough during his time at UConn. I'm not really sure how people can fault a guy for this when he played on a team that that had four other guys go in the top 45 of the same draft. If anything, the fact that he was able to fit in should have helped his stock.

It's irrelevant now, though Gay was probably the best talent in the draft and will be a valuable rotation guy in the league, at worst. Memphis got great bang for their Battier here, and it will be painful for Houston fans if Gay blossoms into a star in Memphis.

Anyone else convinced Danny Ainge has no clue?

I don't understand what Boston trying to accomplish last night. First, they dealt the seventh pick for Sebastian Telfair. The only part of this deal I understood was the portion that had Boston getting rid of Raef Lafrentz's horrendous contract. Otherwise, the deal is flat stupid for Boston. Telfair was a reach in the lottery when Portland took him, and he has done nothing to alter this line of thinking.

What I really don't get though is why they'd trade for Rajon Rondo, even though they gave up little, after acquiring Telfair. It's tough enough to win games while developing a young point guard, let alone two. Just ask Portland how it worked out for them last year. Boston should have stayed at No. 7 and taken a tradable asset, be it Randy Foye, Brandon Roy, or Gay. They still could have traded for Rondo once he started to slide. They are in bad shape. Poor Paul Pierce.

Mark Cuban can manage a Dairy Queen, but I bet Isiah Thomas couldn't.

I won't dwell on the sheer stupidity of the Renaldo Balkman pick because it's been done. The funny thing about the pick is that he fits a need for the Knicks better than most of the guys that were on the board at the time. Still, there is no reason to take a guy when you can get him at 29 or in the second round, or even better still as an undrafted free agent. Taking Mardy Collins at No. 29 wasn't bad, but I don't really see him getting much playing time. Tough break for Mardy.

The suicide rate in Seattle is rising.

Robert Swift. Johan Petro. The Guy From Senegal. Nothing screams "hey, let's pay extra taxes for a new basketball arena" quite like that triumvirate of draft picks. Coming to a trade rumor near you, Rashard Lewis and Ray Allen.

Draft Night Winners

Memphis — Came away with Rudy Gay and Kyle Lowry in hand. Lowry is a great fit for how Memphis plays, and I think he has a chance to be the best point guard in this draft class.

New Jersey — I'm not a huge Josh Boone fan, but he should help cover up some of Nenad Kristic's defensive deficiencies. Marcus Williams was a real coup for them. He is a great fit and will do a good job spelling J-Kidd this year. He also will make a nice replacement down the road.

Chicago — Anytime a playoff team adds one of the best players available and one of the draft's biggest sleepers, said team had a good night.

Draft Night Losers

Houston — The Battier trade may make them better next year, but it won't make them title contenders, which they might have been in two or three years had they stuck with Rudy Gay.

Atlanta — No. 5 was way too high for the Big Klutz (Shelden Williams). He'll grab some boards and may block a few shots, but his scoring numbers will never approach what he did at Duke. Not even close. He got most of his points in college on put back dunks, wide-open jumpers, and free throws. All three of these things will be harder to come by in the league, especially on Atlanta. He wasn't a horrible pick, but they should have traded down and gotten an asset in addition to him. They really could use Chris Paul right about now.

Boston and New York — See above.

Time will tell which teams truly struck gold in this year's draft. No draft should be judged until at least three or four years later, so don't chastise your team's management just yet. Unless you live in New York.

Posted by Ryan Hojnacki at 11:26 PM | Comments (0)

World Cup: Brazil vs. France

What better way to end the quarterfinals than a repeat of the 1998 World Cup final? Brazil vs. France for the right to prolong a quest for the greatest title in all of sport.

I would say of all the teams remaining, Brazil has appeared to be by far the most bored. Before setting foot in Germany this summer, the five-time world champions knew they would win their group without breaking a sweat. And once they got past there, in stepped Ghana, who were without their best player, central midfielder Michael Essien.

The Selecao have essentially slept-walked to the quarterfinals, but they should be up to occasion because they know France well. The last time Brazil tasted defeat of any kind in the World Cup, the French were the culprits.

Zinedine Zidane was at his best on that day, scoring twice in a resounding 3-0 victory to give France their only World Cup title. Zidane is back again, in what his opposition hope is his last game ever for his country.

The French got off to a slow start in this World Cup, but unlike Brazil, where a slow start translates to three wins, the French tied their first two games, leaving themselves in a precarious position. But after securing second place in their group with a less than impressive 2-0 win against former colonialists Togo, they met up with Spain, who at the time were one of the most impressive teams in the tournament.

Unfortunately for Spanish enthusiasts, France were merely pacing themselves. Les Bleus conceded an early penalty, but fought back in impressive style led by dynamic veteran midfielders Patrick Vieira and Zidane.

But it was a formerly uncapped midfielder who shined the brightest in a field of stars that night. Frank Ribery has seen his profile go from anonymous to ubiquitous in a matter of days. The Marseille man has been the spark that France has seemed to lack since their 2000 European title, and figures to play a prominent role on Saturday.

Make no mistake, while France has everyone abuzz about a possible upset, Brazil is still the odds on favorite to take home the title. Despite a defense that has seemed vulnerable, they have only allowed one goal in this tournament, and still possess the greatest array of offensive talent of any team.

I can't believe I have written this long about France and Brazil without mentioning the two greatest players in the game. Ronaldinho and Thierry Henry will square off in an elimination game of epic proportions for only the second time in about six weeks. The last time was in Paris, where Ronnie's Catalans stunned Henry's Gunners with two late goals to take home Europe's most prestigious club competition, the Champions League.

This time the circumstances are similar, as Ronaldinho's squad remain the clear favorite against a team most had not expected to make it this far. Hopefully, an early dismissal won't change the complexion of this titanic tilt.

I think the alarm clock goes off for Brazil, and they come out and show us what everyone has been talking about when it is said that watching Brazil play is like watching music being made. Ronaldinho and company get their revenge and get by France in what will surely be a great finish to a great quarterfinals.

Posted by Piet Van Leer at 4:29 AM | Comments (0)

World Cup: England vs. Portugal

The British are back in the quarterfinals for the second straight World Cup, and this time they will be looking to exact a measure of revenge against the Portuguese, who knocked them out of the quarterfinals in the 2004 European Championships.

It was a brilliant game the last time these two teams met up. Michael Owen opened up the game with an early goal before Wayne Rooney would have to leave for what would be his first experience with a broken metatarsal.

The Portuguese tied it late, and then went ahead in extra-time thanks to a great Rui Costa strike. But when all hope looked lost, tireless Chelsea midfielder Frank Lampard prolonged England's European dreams by scoring 115 minutes after the first kick of the ball in one of the tensest matches of the tournament.

It moved onto penalties, and after each team took their mandatory five, nothing was settled. Finally, on their seventh effort from the spot, Darius Vassell missed, leaving the door open for the Portuguese, and they seized on the opportunity as goalkeeper Ricardo beat his counterpart David James to send Portugal into euphoria.

Two years later, many of the participants in that game remain. Unfortunately for Portugal, some are not eligible on Saturday due to suspension.

Defensive midfielder Costinha will have to watch, but that pales in comparison to the creative vacancy Deco leaves. The native Brazilian will be sorely missed, as he has taken the reigns to be Portugal's most influential player. Add to it that swift-footed Cristiano Ronaldo will not be fully healthy, and Portugal will be short some offensive catalysts.

England is not without their weaknesses, though. The story before the World Cup (other than Wayne Rooney) was whether or not their two world-class midfielders, Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard, could co-exist.

They failed to gel in qualifying, and at the start of the World Cup, the two seemed out of sync with one another. As the tournament progressed, English fans hoped the two would mesh, but that has not happened. If England manager Sven-Goran Eriksson based his decision on performance alone, Frank Lampard would be sitting and Peter Crouch and Michael Carrick would be starting.

The English defense is not without worry, either. Against Ecuador, England were fortunate not to concede a goal after John Terry's defensive lapse. And in their previous game, Sweden created four quality scoring opportunities off set pieces, two of which resulted in goals.

I don't know if the Portuguese have enough bodies left to trouble England, but I do know the English have a sleeping pit bull in their mist. Wayne Rooney has yet to make his impact felt, and it's only a matter of time. He has become progressively better in each of the last three games, and it only makes sense that he hits full stride in his fourth game of this World Cup.

Rooney is one of those special players that can take a game over single-handedly, plus he also has some help. While David Beckham has more than his share of critics, the bottom line is he is a difference-maker. True, he wouldn't be on the field if he didn't take free kicks, but neither would Andriy Shevchenko if he didn't score goals. The point is he remains one of the most lethal free-kick artists in the game, and that alone makes it necessary to have him out there.

Like one of the Scottish soldiers muttered in Braveheart, the English are too many. That will be the case on Saturday, as it will just be too much for the overextended Portuguese, and Luiz Felipe "Big Phi" Scolari will taste defeat for the first time as a manager in the World Cup.

Posted by Piet Van Leer at 4:18 AM | Comments (10)

June 29, 2006

The Poor, Piteous Sports Fan

One sure learns a lot by having the hubris to regularly Google their own name.

I know I do. I know that I'm No. 1 "Kevin Beane" in Google, thanks to Sports Central, but in terms of volume, a Kevin Beane in New Hampshire (tai chi instructor, massage therapist, man about town) gives me a run for the money. There's isolated Kevin Beanes whom are off-road racers, Bermudan rugby players, and "the biggest funkateer in Ottawa."

There's other Kevin Beane writers, too. One is a big Chicago Bears pundit and fan, and one is a former writer for "The Opinion," who writes rants about HMOs and lists his likes in his profile as "Fast Cars and Fast Women, not necessarily in that order." Ugh.

Finally, there's a Kevin Beane who needs a little bit of your love. Remember, he's not just going to cherish you, but "the relationship [he] is trying to obtain with you also."

But the most fascinating part of Googling my name is finding reactions to my articles that don't make it to the comments section. You fans are a fickle, fickle, fickle breed. As a writer, I better damn well fellate your team, or be raked over the coals.

The method it usually obvious ... I'll make an offhand criticism of a team or player, a partisan of that team or player will read it, take it back to the message boards of that team or player, and release the hounds in the comments.

And I welcome that. I encourage it even, although I don't intentionally muckrake to get a reaction out of people (cough) Skip Bayless (cough).

But the latest turn just has me puzzled. It didn't make it to the comments, but Googling my name revealed a reaction to the article I wrote a couple months back about Florida International. On the FIU message board, someone started a thread about it here entitled "Negative Article on FIU..." They posted my article, and I got reaction including "stupid," "BS," "pointless," and that I must be "a journalism major at UM," which in this context, I gather is not a compliment.

Stupid is in the eye of the beholder, and all of my columns are pointless, so the joke's on them, but "negative?" Judge for yourself. In it, I compared them to a plucky David in the shadow of an evil Goliath, pointed out the great strides they've made for such a young program, touted their quarterback as the best in the Sun Belt, and adopted them as the official college football team of Slant Pattern!

Being a stupid UM journalism major as I apparently am, I'm unsure what the antonyms of "negative" and "critical" are, but whatever those words might be, my article was it. The FIU fans' reaction demonstrates the mindset of too many sports fans. Victimization: it's not just for politics and social issues anymore. An article isn't good or fair unless it's fawning, and if it's neutral or merely mildly positive, it's just not good enough.

This brings me to two orders of business. Without playing a single game during their reign, FIU's status as the official college football team of Slant Pattern is revoked. I hope Da U beats you by 70 and it sets off a spiral of events that forces you to drop athletics. And go Florida Atlantic, too!

Secondly, I'm gonna do what they say can't be done. I'm gonna write the column that will please everybody! Clip and save:

Without a doubt, the most underrated team in the history of sports is [your team here]. I simply can't believe the media, the officials, and [your rival] have so successfully undercut [your team] in the annals of history, but they have.

First, the officiating. Remember the big [game against the big rival no one remembers but the fans of each team]? The call that cost us that game was [widely acknowledged to be a call that could've gone either way to viewers without a rooting interest] the worst in the history of sports. That officiating crew should be in prison. I'm completely serious. It went beyond incompetence and can only be explained by corruption. But that's just par for the course for [your team] games, isn't it?

Then, of course, the media is so brazenly and frankly against [your team] that it's a joke. It's not even a secret. The media doesn't even try to hide their contempt for [your team]. Remember [critical article written in 1999 that no one read in a publication with fewer than 1,000 subscribers]? That just proves it.

But, take heart, [your team] fans, it's all just jealousy. There can be no doubt that the officials, the media, and [your rival] have plainly and unlawfully conspired against us, but it's because they want to be like us.

And this year's team has the potential to be the best ever! Firstly, [your team's star players] are the best in the [league/country/world] at their position, and [rest of the starters] should sue if they are not named to the all-star team. And I have some darkhorses for you. You know who's really gonna step up and surprise the hell out of people?

[Everyone else on the team.]

I hope that clears things up. Just remember the next time I bash your team, I am indeed a part of the cabal. Thank your rival for cutting me the check.

Posted by Kevin Beane at 3:37 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

World Cup: Italy vs. Ukraine

The second game on Friday features a depleted Italy squad against a goal-challenged Ukraine side in what is easily the least anticipated quarterfinal of the 2006 World Cup, unless you are an Italian or Ukranian fan.

The Azzurri enter this game unusually shorthanded in defense. Central defender Alessandro Nesta will miss his second consecutive game with an injury, and his backup Marco Materazzi will also be absent due to suspension for his red card in their previous win. Ukraine are also down a man, with striker Andriy Voronin set to miss the rest of the World Cup with an injury.

Despite the loss of manpower for both teams, though, I would be shocked if it turned out to be anything but an efficient Italian victory.

Italy has conceded exactly one goal in this tournament, and that they scored on themselves. Even down a man for almost the entire second half in their Round of 16 game against Australia, Italy was never seriously threatened in defense. And that streak should remain intact.

Ukraine are beneficiaries of a weak group coupled with a weak draw. After being humiliated in their opener against Spain, where they lost 4-0, they bounced back with a resounding 4-0 victory against possibly the weakest team in the World Cup (Saudi Arabia) before eking past Tunisia 1-0 on a controversial penalty.

Ukraine continued to enjoy favorable opposition, as they went up against an equally offensively-challenged Switzerland team in the Round of 16. After 120 minutes of a lifeless, scoreless stalemate, Ukraine eventually won out on penalties. The Swiss could not even convert from the spot on any of their three attempts!

If there is one reason to believe Ukraine could trouble Italy, it is that Andriy Shevchenko will be taking the field for the men in yellow. He is one of the best strikers in the world, and sometimes one moment of brilliance is enough to lift a team, i.e. Maxi Rodriguez in the 98th minute against Mexico.

Italy though boasts too much power for Ukraine to deal with. They are wildly talented all over the field, but will probably play in a manner that will infuriate soccer fans everywhere, falling back on their cantenaccio ways that preach a tight defense and opportunistic counter-attacking. I anticipate a pretty dull game with Italy squeezing through by 1-0 margin, but it should set up a great semifinal against the winner of the Germany/Argentina game.

Posted by Piet Van Leer at 3:21 PM | Comments (2)

World Cup: Germany vs. Argentina

Friday morning, at 11:00 AM Eastern, the first quarterfinal in the World Cup will take place. Germany and Argentina, from Berlin, and it promises to be a cracker.

Argentina looked impressive after dismantling Serbia and Montenegro, but since then they have sputtered. After a lackluster scoreless draw in a game with the Netherlands that mattered little, they struggled, but eventually overcame Mexico in extra-time, thanks to an outrageous winner from Maxi Rodriguez in the 98th minute.

Now the Argentines face their biggest challenge in the form of the host nation. Germany has been hands-down the most impressive team in this tournament. They have played four games, and won them all comfortably. After conceding two goals in their opener, the Germans have outscored opponents 6-0 in the last three games.

The reason for the Germans success is the tempo at which they play. It is similar to the style the 2002 hosts South Korea played at, only the Germans are technically superior, which could spell trouble for their South American opponents.

Argentina faced a similar high-octane approach in their last game against Mexico. For the first six minutes, Mexico played the equivalent of a full-court press, which paid dividends in the form of a sixth-minute goal. But once Mexico scored, they took their foot off the gas.

By contrast, the Germans will not let a goal stifle their tempo. Argentina must be prepared to face 90 minutes of fierce, attacking soccer in the most hostile of environments. And considering they are coming off an exhausting extra-time win in their previous game, this could play a significant role.

Certainly, Argentina has the players to deal with such a lethal adversary. Riquelme will have to be at his best to dictate tempo, and their forwards (Hernan Crespo, Javier Saviola, Carlos Tevez, and Lionel Messi) all have the ability to get in behind the suspect German central defenders (Christoph Metzelder and Per Mertesacker) for a one-on-one situations with German goalkeeper Jens Lehman.

Their Argentine defense will also have to play without error. Gabriel Heinze and Lionel Scaloni both suffered lapses in the last game, but they managed to concede just one goal. This time, I guarantee their mistakes will be punished by the tournament's best front line in Germany's Lukas Podolski and Miroslav Klose.

This game will provide an interesting test for Germany. So far, they have not faced anyone nearly as good as Argentina. Germany won't dominate possession as they have in previous games, but they will still control a majority of it, and playing counter attacking soccer is not what Argentina does best.

Argentina has also caught a bad break in that they are playing the host nation when they are in peak form. Throw in the fact that Germany are well rested and Argentina will be carrying heavy legs, and it all adds up to Germany's second straight World Cup semifinal.

Posted by Piet Van Leer at 3:09 PM | Comments (0)

Tag Out, or Saving the Common Man

Freedom Elementary school is the tip of the iceberg in the eradication and extinction of man's oldest game — tag. Naturally, this has people in an uproar, whining about how soft kids today have become and reminiscing about the uncontrollable danger involved in their childhood games. In reality, though, it's a desperate attempt to save the common man.

Schools in Wyoming and Washington stepped up and banned tag at recess this year. Other schools in Oregon and California have already banned the game from their playgrounds. Most principals, like Cindy Farwell at Freedom Elementary, cite injury as the reason for banning the game. She was concerned because the game "progresses easily into slapping and hitting and pushing instead of just touching." Yeah, that's her main fear, riiiight.

Let's take this for what it's worth — brilliant PR. Who is going to get upset with a principal for trying to protect the children? In the end, isn't always about the children, anyway? Now, in reality, this is about protecting children, but not because tag has turned into a vicious game. Quite the contrary, it's being axed from schools because it's grown far too soft.

Tag was first played by the ancient Egyptians and has been played at recesses for thousands of years. It is a classic, classic game, so I can understand the outcry at the thought of a tag-less future, but it's for the best. Tag, like any game, has gone through a long period of evolution. It's now claims Marco Polo, Cops and Robbers, Laser Tag, Dodgeball, and Paintball as offspring.

So why are we trying to move back in time? Original tag doesn't make any sense anymore. Are we going to start building pyramids again? Maybe enslave God's chosen ones while we're at it? Ancient tag belongs in ancient history. That's not to say that the basic recess version has always been stagnant, but the current path is producing American children softer than Tom Cotton (cotton was named after him, FYI).

There are no winners in tag. There is no scoring. More important to me, there is no way to humiliate your opponent. Acrobatically evading a tag from "IT" doesn't have the same feel as a massive dunk over or an earth-shattering tackle. You can't even stand and admire your tag or do a little celebration dance when you tag someone else. Sure, these have always been problems that plagued tag, but during my time as a whippersnapper, we were able to play around it. We had ball tag, a form of dodgeball without a dividing line to prevent point-blank assaults.

When my little brothers went through school, they abandoned any sense of rules for a game called "Braveheart." It was a simple game that consisted of a large group of kids splitting into two armies. Then the two sides would do a battle cry and start running at each other. To spice things up, a bat was occasionally placed at midfield and whoever picked up the bat (it was a nerf bat, my brother didn't go to school at a prison) got to use it. Today's kids have "bases" and "no tag-backs."

Honestly, what is happening with our youth when calling "no tag-backs" is actually honored in a game of tag? What happened to integrity or having respect for yourself? First, you should be tagging people strong enough that they aren't in a position to even entertain the idea of a tag back, let alone be able to pull it off.

More importantly, it doesn't make any sense. Calling no tag-backs is like playing a game of one-on-one and then convincing the other player that he's not allowed to play offense. Tag-backs are an essential part of the game to settle grudges if nothing else. I would be willing to wager a substantial amount that Gary Bettman played a role in introducing the "no tag-backs" rule to tag. Of course, that's only after he decided to implement bases and dresses as the official attire of the sport.

It makes perfect sense to take this pointless and archaic version of tag away from children. At this stage, however, I think it would serve our future even more if the kids were given a combination of balls, oblong sticks, rocks, and shards of glass and then were left alone to create their own generation's version of tag. Or they could have an administrator randomly select a boy in the class to sneak up on and spray with TAG bodyspray. Then sit back and enjoy as girls claw each other to death trying to catch him (at least it happened that way in the commercial, and I've found out that TV=real life).

It's either that, or have half the class play tag while the other half begins work on a scaled-down sphinx.

The Sports Gospel According to Mark is sponsored by BetOnSports.com. All readers get a 10% signup bonus at BetOnSports by entering "Sports Gospel Promo" as the promo code. Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on SC. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].

Posted by Mark Chalifoux at 1:49 PM | Comments (0)

June 28, 2006

World Cup: Blame Begins With FIFA

It seems to rear its ugly head in every postseason of every sport. Mark Cuban can always be heard complaining about it. Seahawks fans and every opponent of the White Sox last October still hold grudges because of it. And now, the World Cup has been infiltrated with it — bad officiating.

There is something decidedly American about this "football" thing after all.

The referees have come under even more scrutiny in this World Cup than in previous ones, and that is truly saying something. Consider that in 2002, an Ecuadorian referee's wayward call so doomed Italy that Sicily's public toilets are now known as Byron Morenos.

This year, though, seems to have gone above and beyond the previous heights of absurdity. But if you are looking to blame anyone, don't put it solely on the referees.

Granted, the refs have made what seems to be a mountain of terrible decisions inside the box. Ukraine was penalized when Spain's Fernando Torres went crashing down without contact inside the penalty area, but the favor was returned when later in the tournament their own striker, Andriy Shevchenko, tripped over his own feet which was also rewarded with a penalty.

More pertinent to readers from the United States was the curious decision that landed Ghana a penalty shot when Oguchi Onyewu seemed guilty of nothing more than being larger than his Ghanaian foe. But everything was topped on Monday when the Spanish referee awarded Italy a penalty at the death when Fabio Grosso cleverly launched himself over a sliding Lucas Neill of Australia. The Azzuri converted the last kick of the game, leaving Socceroos nation in such an uproar that the front page of the Sydney Morning Herald read "F***ing Bull****." (Except there were no bleeps, can you believe that? What a country!)

Those are typical, controversial calls that come with every World Cup. What is atypical, though, is the amount of yellow and red cards that are being shown. The cautions are coming out at record rate. In the Portugal/Netherlands game, 20 cards were shown (including a World Cup record four red). After the game, FIFA president Sepp Blatter laid the entire blame at the feet of Russian referee Valentin Ivanov.

Ivanov defended himself, stating he was just enforcing what FIFA (aka Sepp Blatter) wanted! And everything Ivanov says is true. Sepp Blatter called for crackdowns on shirt pulling, elbowing, dangerous tackles, and so far, he is getting what he asked for.

What Blatter failed to realize (which is a re-occurring theme for this FIFA President) is that when all of this ticky-tack nonsense is enforced to the letter of the law, players will be absent for the biggest game the tournament has to offer. Zinadine Zidane, Michael Essien, and Deco are all forced to miss important matches, and countless more were forced to sit out group games because of the fear that a second yellow card could be cruelly brandished.

The referees have become the biggest story in this World Cup, which is something finally Americans relate to when it comes to the biggest event on the planet.

Final Thought About U.S.

They might be deemed a disappointment, but the U.S. team was put in an incredibly hard scenario. America laid an egg in the first game, but a lot of it had to do with their opponents. A lot of it also had to do with their supposed best players. Landon Donovan had a miserable tournament, as did Eddie Pope and a few others. But for the most part, everyone played okay.

What we need to as a nation realize first and foremost that this is not hockey. I don't care how good your goaltender is, because if people are allowed unfettered access into the area, you don't stand a chance.

Have you seen how huge soccer goals are? How is Kasey Keller supposed to stop any of the three goals against the Czechs? Or the Italy goal? Or the Ghana goals? He isn't the best goalkeeper in the world, but even if he was, I'm not sure what he could do to stop any of those strikes.

Bruce Arena was on World Cup Live the other day, and I thought he summed it up pretty well. He said that U.S. national team members need to play in more competitive leagues (read: Landon Donovan) to give them the necessary experience to deal with stages like the World Cup.

And he was quick to mention that this is not a slam against Major League Soccer. MLS is necessary to the success of the United States, but it should be treated as the first step in what should be a long and successful career. Maybe in time MLS could become a better league, but right now, in order to compete in the World Cup, everyone on the U.S. roster must ply their trade overseas.

I hope enough people watched Ghana's dismantling of the Czechs and surprising display against the Brazilians to realize they are vastly more talented than the United States. Almost everyone on Ghana plays in Europe, and that experience truly showed in their 2-1 win over the U.S.

The bottom line is Ghana was not the wildcard, the United States was. Aside from their two games against Mexico in qualifying and the World Cup every four years, America never plays pressure-filled, competitive games. They don't participate in the Copa America, and their MLS-based players have nothing remotely comparable to either the Champions League or tightly-contested domestic games. And until that happens, the U/S/ will continue to languish behind against the true soccer powers.

Other Observations

* So far, this tournament has had the least amount of surprises I can remember. There have been virtually zero upsets (Ghana doesn't count — how can it be considered the group of death, yet when one of the team advances out, it's an upset?), and with the exception of Portugal and Ukraine, every team in the quarterfinals has won the World Cup.

* Spain and the Netherlands continue to carry their proud traditions as the great underachievers. Both faced daunting challenges in the Round of 16, and both came up predictably lame. To infuriate Spanish fans even more, a team they beat 4-0 in their first game (Ukraine) has advanced even farther than they have.

* The stars will never be more aligned for England. They have had major injury problems (Michael Owen tearing his ACL is the latest), but considering only a severely-depleted Portugal side stand in their way to the semifinals, England might still not have played a single game well, and yet will be one game away from the final.

* Watching soccer in high definition is amazing. I cannot state this enough. For the Germany/Argentina and Brazil/France games, I highly recommend getting yourself in a position to view it on one. I have said it before and will say it again — it is a life-altering experience.

Posted by Piet Van Leer at 2:21 PM | Comments (1)

Caught in an NBA Draft

Suggesting as many do, that making the right decision at the NBA draft is an "imperfect science," is making an understatement at absolute best.

Over the years, I've discovered even the most adept general managers, ones that spend months or years watching players develop, still have absolutely no idea what they're doing.

And with the 2006 field emerging as one of the deepest, most convoluted in memory, they'll be even more clueless this time around.

What that means for the rest of us: writers, prognosticators, fans, and general know-it-alls, is we might as well be drawing names out of a hat. In the dark. Any attempts at "educated speculation" are certain to end in embarrassment.

No, while I do feel pressure to provide my faithful readers with a mock draft, I've decided to go forth promising to emphasize "speculation," rather than "educated," "mock" over "draft."

What follows are completely unfounded, indefensible projections based on nothing but my imagination set far enough in the future that you won't remember to make me feel bad about them.

Ladies and gentlemen, here it is: my 2006 NBA Mock Draft (lottery only, I don't have all day here, people).

1. Toronto Raptors: Andrea Bargnani, F, Italy

The first Italian national in the NBA will go first overall. Toronto, sick of hearing players from cultural hotbeds like Milwaukee and Charlotte complain about coming north of the border, start the Bryan Colangelo draft era by taking another step towards internationalizing its organization.

Bargnani comes in with high expectations, touted as the next Dirk Nowitzki because of his silky smooth jump shot. In his first season, he averages 4.6 points a game. Slow to develop the following years, he's eventually shipped off to San Antonio as a hopeful replacement for an aging Tim Duncan.

Two years later, the pair does indeed form a potent combination, going halfsies on several East Side Mario's in the south Texas area. Bargnani's sole job becomes managing the successful chain and he emerges as the tallest person ever to serve veal cannelloni.

Note: the Raptors try to trade down for Bargnani, but can't, and so instead deal Charlie Villanueva to clear space. Villanueva is inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame in 2025.

2. Chicago Bulls: Tyrus Thomas, F, LSU

Making a move many if not most expected, the Bulls select the uber-athletic Thomas with the second pick. Unfortunately, just weeks into his first NBA training camp, Thomas collides with Tyson Chandler ,who's inexplicably trying to block the crap out of him during a lay-up drill. Thomas comes down awkwardly, ripping almost every ligament in his left leg. Chandler is vilified in the press to the point where an emotional breakdown forces him from the game.

Thomas battles back from the injury, but can't recapture his once-legendary leaping ability. He has an extremely mediocre eight-year career that concludes in Utah.

3. Charlotte Bobcats: Rudy Gay, G/F, Connecticut

Until LeBron gets a few more years of dominance and at least one ring, Michael Jordan is still the best in NBA history. But Isiah Thomas was one of the best point guards in league history, and is also one of the worst general managers.

Ditto for Jordan, who passes on Adam Morrison. Gay does become an all-star, but not for six seasons and not with the Bobcats. He's traded for Robert Swift and parts toward the end of his rookie contract and only gets the nod when Rashard Lewis breaks his leg a week before the 2013 festivities.

4. Portland Trail Blazers: Adam Morrison, F, Gonzaga

Morrison drops to fourth and is selected by Portland, sending much of the basketball-loving Pacific Northwest into hysterics. He wins rookie of the year and goes on to make seven all-star appearances in 11 seasons. And although he can't lead his club to the promised land and retires early due to complications from diabetes and a surgically repaired ankle, does becomes a local legend of somewhat Larry Bird-like proportions.

The image of him banging the ball against his forehead in frustrated excitement officially adorns the Oregon state flag.

5. Atlanta Hawks: LaMarcus Aldridge, F/C, Texas

Despite rumors the Hawks made a promise to Duke big man Shelden Williams at the five spot, the realization that Aldridge's potential is still on the board is too much for Atlanta brass to ignore. As it turns out, they would've done well either way and Aldridge quickly develops into the Chris Bosh clone many felt he might.

He lacks some of Bosh's offensive fluidity, however, and his inability to take a Hawks team rife with equally undeveloped players anywhere prevents him from becoming a fixture in Atlanta. Leaving after five years and signing a lucrative deal with the Dallas Mavericks, he manages to earn rings in 2013 and 2015.

Unfortunately, a short time later, his successful career is marred permanently due to a vicious run-in with management at an East Side Mario's in Texarkana.

6. Minnesota Timberwolves: Brandon Roy, G/F, Washington

Trying desperately to find a piece that actually works and sticks next to Kevin Garnett, the Wolves take Roy, whose prolific scoring in the 2006 NCAA tournament promised great things at the next level. In fact, it works out better than expected for the T-Wolves. Roy doesn't become a superstar, but makes three all-star appearances and is at times reminiscent of a mid-'90s Mitch Richmond. His durability also becomes legendary — he misses only 13 games in as many years in Minny.

Unfortunately, though, the Wolves deal Garnett in 2007, rendering Roy's long and impressive career with the club as frigid as a Minneapolis winter — yielding just three winning seasons.

7. Boston Celtics: Marcus Williams, G, Connecticut

Hide your laptops Beantown. And your gold watches. And your fillings.

But seriously folks, Marcus Williams is billed as the most complete point guard in the draft and the guy can do a lot. He does a lot for Boston, proving the decision not to select Patrick O'Bryant a smart one. He has career highs of 13.9 points and 7.4 assists alongside high flyer Gerald Green and big man Al Jefferson. Wally Szczerbiak is nowhere in sight.

In 2011, his best season, Williams is second in the league in helpers behind Luke Ridnour and leads the league in, ahem, steals.

8. Houston Rockets: Shelden Williams, F/C, Duke

Houston would've loved to get their hands on Thomas at this spot, but there was no way that was going to happen. So they take The Landlord in the hopes his rugged inside presence next to that of a healthy Yao Ming makes them impossible to contend with around the basket. Plus, somebody has to chase down Tracy McGrady's loose balls.

And that's pretty much what Williams does for his entire 16-year career. Improbably, his knees hold up because new NBA regulations in 2009 remove all limitations on the size of knee and elbow pads. So he's all set.

Unfortunately, his somewhat discomforting looks and blue-collar mentality added to his atrocious free throw shooting make him one of the less popular and appreciated players everywhere he goes.

Not that he's hated, but his 6994 career rebounds collected at stops with the Rockets, Bobcats, Magic, and Kings go largely unnoticed. There's not even a party when he passes Rick Mahorn for 88th on the all-time list.

9. Golden State Warriors: Rodney Carney, F, Memphis

At this point, Golden State is just trying to find a swingman that's not Mike Dunleavy, Jr. and more importantly, doesn't make as much.

Based on what's left on the board, Carney looks like a possible solution, and luckily, nothing like Dunleavy, Jr. And he shows up like they hoped, just not for very long. On a Tuesday in December 2008, he's undercut by Jiri Welsch while taking a three in a Warriors' blow-out win. He suffers serious spine fractures and is forced to retire after a brief comeback stint with the Raptors.

On the bright side, for a brief period of 2007 the success of his efforts on the floor with the recently acquired Peter Ramos cause fans to label them "Team Ram-Rod."

Note: if you didn't get that joke, forget the rest of this story and go rent Super Troopers.

10. Seattle Sonics: Randy Foye, G, Villanova

Seattle management doesn't even know where they'll be located in a year, let alone what their roster will look like, so taking a good young combo guard was a safe bet here.

But Foye's performance is just average in his first contract. It's not really his fault, though, as nobody on Seattle flourishes after a fire sale that sends Rashard Lewis and Ray Allen packing and an announced move that comes just months later.

So he bounces around failing to make his mark and can't find a home until he lands in Detroit during his ninth season. There he has a career year, a la Mike James, and gets inked for three more at seven each.

Naturally, the next season he puts up career lows in almost every offensive category, including just 4.5 points per game, and the year after, he quietly retires in shame like you only wish I would with this tired theme.

11. Orlando Magic: Rajon Rondo, G, Kentucky

Seattle definitely should have taken Rondo. It would have been both an ironic and appropriate selection because the first name on BasketballReference.com's "similar players search" that comes up at the end of his career is Gary Payton.

From the beginning, Rondo gets the steals and becomes an elite shut-down defender that gives opposing guards fits. He has legendary battles with Chris Paul.

Also, his slashing ability and court vision alongside Dwight Howard's simply monstrous two-way play make the Magic a great team for years to come. They even win it all in 2012.

12. New Orleans: Cedric Simmons, F, North Carolina State

Cedric Simmons is a strong player with good potential. But behind emerging star David West and in the shadow of immediate superstar Chris Paul he never really gets a chance to show that. After an unexciting three-year stint in 'Nawlins and an even shorter and less inspiring time in Cleveland, he heads overseas.

Playing in the Israeli league for Hapoel Jerusalem, he marries an Israeli woman, and with the subsequent citizenship, is drafted into the army.

Frequent calls to Doug Gottlieb are not returned.

13. Philadelphia 76ers: Patrick O'Bryant, C, Bradley

It's unclear with this pick if Billy King is trying to shore up his team's front line or planning on staging a production of John Wyndham's The Chrysalids. If it's not either, then maybe he's planning on using some of his players in pitching "The Manute Bol Story" to CBS.

Regardless, that's who they take and boy does it prove to be a seven-foot mistake. It may sound harsh, but I know you'll agree when you hear about the ridiculous adventures that await O'Bryant.

Without saying too much, let me just tell you his bittersweet career is filled with some brilliant moments of comedy and others of unbridled sadness.

Among the more astonishing ups and downs are stories that involve a train stowaway, a series of audio tapes featuring the voice of Kristy Yamaguchi and a special cross over episode between NBA Inside Stuff and Dog The Bounty Hunter.

Hey, I can't give it all away.

Note: almost none of this will actually happen.

Posted by Aaron Miller at 2:08 PM | Comments (0)

June 27, 2006

Closing the Door on the Cup

Every four years, the world's sport gets center stage for the World Cup, so I feel obligated to devote a certain amount of coverage to it. Sure, there are more entertaining stories in sports right now, especially with Jay Mariotti taking his whining to an entirely new level, but I did have to send off the World Cup in proper fashion, so here are 18 things I think about the World Cup and Team USA.

Of course, I had some help with this piece, as I watched the game with someone who really knows soccer. I watched USA take on Ghana with a player who barely missed out on making the U.S. national team, despite his mediocre soccer game. He did score three goals in an indoor soccer game against team Mexico the night before, so he was more qualified than I.

1. Claudio Reyna is bad for the team. He's lazy and a weak player. The first goal Ghana scored was completely his fault. Analysts say it was a big blow to the U.S. team to lose him, but honestly, they would've been better off if he hadn't played that game.

2. "He better be freaking hurt," my friend said after a replay of the goal. "He couldn't pressure the guy to make a mistake, he couldn't even get up to try. It's the biggest game of his freaking life. He better not be able to play the rest of this game. Hell, he better not be able to play the rest of the year. He betrayed us." I think the verbal assault is as bad as it gets for soccer players that give up easy goals. If this was a lesser-developed country, Reyna may have been shot. Of course, there's that same risk when you pickup part-time work as a limo driver for an NBA player.

3. Soccer fans take soccer very personally. Minutes after he came back in the game, my friend is already berating Reyna again. "If you make a mistake, do you fall down and quit? That's not what a player does. That's not what a man does."

4. Ghana's defensive positioning is very good, I'm told. I simply nod in approval.

5. Reyna comes out of the game to the applause of American soccer fans. This serves only to further antagonize my friend. "Don't applaud for him, Boo him! Boo him right off of the field! Leadership? What leadership does he bring to the table? From being a [insert name of female anatomy]? I don't think so."

6. I can't stand the diving. I just cannot take it. It's terrible. I have so much trouble respecting a sport when players treat the game with the integrity of a Jay Mariotti. Why don't the great players, like a Ronaldinho, dive and roll around every time someone thinks about sneezing?

7. The Americans score as soon as Reyna got off the field. I predict now that he's retiring, the U.S. will begin scoring between 7-12 goals per game in international play now. I just hope Landon Donovan is finished with his career, as well.

8. Ghana takes a 2-1 lead because of a dive. The Americans lose because they refuse to embrace the cowardice of the game. A few more well-place dives and the Americans could be leading. I have a problem rewarding spinelessness, but evidently, soccer doesn't care.

9. In the end, it's not the diving that prevents us from being a decent soccer team — it's the fact that we don't have any great soccer players. We don't do anything special. Great teams have one or two great players that do great things, but the closest thing we have to a great player is Landon Donovan, a great goal scorer who hasn't scored in 18 games of international play. That's ... Reyna-like.

10. I understand soccer, I enjoy the occasional game, and I do find it entertaining and exciting. What I don't understand, though, is how we can't capitalize on the shady side of soccer. Like the goalie for Ghana is making that much money? The right price could turn a goalie kick into an American goal. It would be interesting to take the American approach to the World Cup and attempt to buy a World Cup. I'm sure that would win plenty of favor with the rest of the world.

The Sports Gospel According to Mark is sponsored by BetOnSports.com. All readers get a 10% signup bonus at BetOnSports by entering "Sports Gospel Promo" as the promo code. Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on SC. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].

Posted by Mark Chalifoux at 3:13 PM | Comments (0)

Caniacs Might Just Be Hockey Rednecks

During its first 36 years of existence, Lord Stanley's Cup never ventured south of the Canadian border. Now, for the second consecutive season, it will remain south of the Mason-Dixon line, courtesy of last Monday night's Game Seven victory by the Carolina Hurricanes.

Carolina. That's redneck country to us. Not exactly a bastion of ice hockey. Nevertheless, it is a region prideful of the yields of its Appalachian bosom: tobacco and redneck hockey.

If redneck hockey's roots can be traced to Carolina's first Stanley Cup Finals appearance four years ago, its high water mark came this past week with Tuesday evening's victory parade around the RBC Center, followed by a half-mile procession on Wednesday that got started in a school parking lot. Citizens of Raleigh, you must embellish your celebrations with a bit more pomp than a quick spin around the block.

There is no better way to advertise your redneck hockey lineage than to parade your stars out the south gate of the football stadium and back into the east gate of the rink. The average Caniac drives further just looking for a parking spot after paying at the gate. So, too, did my town's little leaguers on their ceremonial Opening Day stroll from our field's south entrance to its north, and most of the processional are not normally allowed to leave their backyards.

Okay, in deference to the understandable neophytism that accompanies your state's first professional championship, the parade thing might have been more hockey greenhorn than hockey redneck. So then, how do you distinguish the latter? Well, there is a body of collateral observations from which we can draw to determine whether the Caniac is indeed a hockey redneck.

For instance, if you're still wondering whatever became of the Hartford Whalers, you might be a hockey redneck.

If you took up hockey because you thought "penalty killing" was Governor Easley's latest initiative to remove the barrier that keeps you from marrying the girl of your dreams, you might be a hockey redneck.

If your trip to the RBC Center requires a pickaxe, some rappelling line, and a clip-in harness, you could be a hockey redneck.

If your date likes going to the games because she can't remember the last time she saw men with teeth, you may be a hockey redneck.

If you thought "Capitol K" was the first letter in your team's name, you have a hockey redneck proclivity.

Did you ever forget to put on a shirt before the game but found you still fit in among all the oversized red Canes jerseys in attendance? Well then, you're a hockey redneck. If your wife can do the same, she's probably married to one.

If the local youth group scheduled to perform the Star-Spangled Banner steps out on the carpet carrying washboards and some empty whiskey jugs, you're definitely in redneck hockey hell.

If you thought a two-line pass actually changed direction in mid-course before the NHL outlawed the technique last summer, you're probably a hockey redneck.

If your first impulse is to stash the fifth of Old Grand-Dad down your pants when the light on top of the goal starts flashing red, you're a hockey redneck.

If two minutes for roughing sounds too good a deal to pass up and you can't wait to get home, you're a hockey redneck.

If your niece asks you to do it doggy-style so she can watch the Brind'Amour shift, too, you're a hockey redneck.

If you sit in wonder over the seamless joints left by the Zamboni after dropping each new 4x8 sheet of ice, you're a hockey redneck.

If "pulling the goalie" sounds like a good use for a jar of hand cream and spare towel, you're a hockey redneck.

If you root for ties because they are about as satisfying as kissing your sister, you're a hockey redneck.

If you dropped your autographed puck just outside The Eye and choose to pick it up without first kicking it clear over the Virginia border, you're a hockey redneck.

If you can't make your mortgage mail order because you're still paying hush money to that sheep after a Sabres victory party gone wild, you're definitely a hockey redneck.

Now, if the house gets towed away while you're spending your last two sawbucks down at the corner bar drinking Jim Beam from miniature Stanley Cup shots instead of paying those parking tickets, you are a hockey redneck.

And if you reply to this column with messages such as "Canes rock," "Canes in '07," or "Cam Ward for President," you will remain mired in redneck hockey for years to come, which doesn't look so bad to the rest of the country right about now.

Congratulations, Caniacs, rednecks, and all.

Posted by Bob Ekstrom at 2:22 PM | Comments (0)

June 26, 2006

Things Ozzie Guillen Should Have Said

How many times do you think Ozzie Guillen's wife has asked him if her butt looked big in those pants?

About once, I'd say. The first time he answered, "Dios mio, si, yo gigante!" she would have decided, in the future, she should put the question to someone a with a little more tact.

And in all likelihood, Guillen would have had no idea why he was sleeping on the couch.

Apparently, the Chicago White Sox manager was born without that filter that most of us have — the one that keeps us from saying everything we think.

If something is in Guillen's mind, it's in his mouth.

And until now, the national sports media has treated it as kind of an endearing trait, as with a Sports Illustrated story last year in which the magazine cast him as being refreshingly honest and all but dubbed the Chisox charter jets as the "Straight Talk Express."

But, with the Chicago media, it has to be different. If the local sports columnists — and this applies everywhere, not just in Chicago — don't get the coaches ticked off once in a while, they aren't doing their jobs.

Chicago Sun-Times columnist and ESPN pundit Jay Mariotti was doing his job, which is why Guillen used a homosexual slur in reference to the reporter.

The worst thing about that isn't that Guillen called Mariotti a "fag."

Beating up on the media is approved behavior.

That's usually a figurative expression, but the term "beating up on the media" has been taken literally in places like Iraq, the former Soviet Union, and sub-Saharan Africa. George W. Bush called a New York Times reporter an "asshole," and he got elected president, so Mariotti should expect little sympathy over Guillen's name-calling.

The worst thing is that, after what passed for thoughtful consideration, "fag" was the worst thing Guillen could think of to say about Mariotti.

If it's in his mind, it's in his mouth.

So if Guillen could have come up with something worse than "fag," he would have said it.

The slur gave America a look, not just into Guillen's mind, but into the mentality of locker rooms, from junior high school to the pro ranks. In the ultimate men's bastion, the worst thing you can do to an athlete is question his manhood.

There are probably a lot of athletes who feel that way, but know better than to say it out loud. Guillen doesn't.

If it's in his mind, it's in his mouth.

Homosexuals, in the collective mind of the locker room, are incapable of toughness, courage, or any of the other manly attributes so prized in sports.

Of course, that might come as a news flash to those who knew Mark Bingham, who was a member of two national championship rugby teams — and that sport's a damn sight rougher than baseball there, Ozzie — at the University of California at Berkeley.

But that's not all. Bingham — and, yes, he was gay — is believed to have been one of those on Sept. 11, 2001, who tried to wrest control of United Flight 93 from the terrorist hijackers shortly before the airline plunged to earth just outside of Johnstown, PA.

You can spot Bingham's character in the movie "United 93" because he's wearing a Cal rugby jersey.

With "fags" like Bingham, maybe Mariotti should have taken Guillen's slur as a compliment.

If it's in his mind, it's in his mouth.

So it's not likely the sensitivity training sessions ordered by Commissioner Bud Selig are going to take — Guillen made noise over the weekend about not even bothering with the classes, which pretty much sent the message that he's only going because Selig said he had to.

Which means something like this is going to happen again, just as certain as there will be more racy photos of Anna Benson or another 10-game losing streak by the Pirates.

So as a favor, Ozzie, might I recommend "Thy Father is a Gorbellied Codpiece," a collection of more than 100,000 Shakespearean insults including the following gems:

Apish beef-witted quatch-buttock, goatish rug-headed parasite, pestiferous snail-paced rat catcher, unhandsome sodden-witted horn-beast.

Although you might want to stay away from that one, there Ozzie. You wouldn't want anyone to think you notice whether other men are handsome or unhandsome.

Anyway, if you can't find a copy of the book, I'll loan you mine.

There's no need to thank me. In fact, don't even think about me.

I don't want to be in your mind because if I'm in your mind, well, you know the rest.

Posted by Eric Poole at 5:10 PM | Comments (3)

Wimbledon Preview: Who'll Stop the Reign?

Should the All-England Lawn and Tennis Club even bother hosting Wimbledon for the men this year?

According to the sports books, it doesn't have to. Three-time defending champion Roger Federer is currently going off at 1-to-2 odds, meaning he is much better than even money to win the thing. Those kinds of odds at the beginning of any tournament are simply unheard of, but in this case, they are perfectly accurate.

The tennis world has had ample time to gush over the clay-court accomplishments of Rafael Nadal, and gush it has. But the unmercifully long dirtball season is now over, and it's Federer's time to regain the throne that is annually called into question throughout the spring, culminating at Roland Garros. Unless you don't know what tennis is or have been hibernating for the last month, you know that Nadal surpassed Guillermo Vilas' record for consecutive victories on clay with number 54 in his first-round victory (and now stands at 60 after his disposal of Federer in the championship).

But as sure as spring gives way to summer and clay gives way to grass, so too does Rafael Nadal give way to Roger Federer. So let us discuss Roger's equally-impressive accolades on the grass.

With his victory last week in Halle, Germany, Federer has now won 41 straight matches on the slick surface, tying Bjorn Borg's Open Era record. Of course, the Swiss star probably takes a little more pride in a certain other grass-court accomplishment — namely three straight Wimbledon titles.

Ever since Federer ended Pete Sampras' reign at Wimbledon in 2001 with an epic five-set victory in the quarterfinals (thus paving the way for Goran Ivanisevic to finally win the title that had so painfully eluded him), tennis fans knew he could be the All-England Club's next perennial force.

Two years later, that reality was set in motion as Federer captured his first Grand Slam championship.

Many athletes say that it's not worth showing up if they don't have a chance to win. So do the other 127 participants in the main draw of Wimbledon actually think they have a chance? Maybe so, depending on what their definition of the word "chance" is.

Remember in Dumb and Dumber when Harry (Jim Carey) asks Mary Swanson what the chances are of a guy like him ending up with as girl like her? She says they're about one in a million, to which Harry excitedly proclaims, "So you're telling me there's a chance!" The situation in London this week is really no different.

So with no further ado, here are the contenders who are probably dumb enough to entertain thoughts of doing the unthinkable next week at Wimbledon.

Dumb

Andy Roddick — He has been playing less-than-inspiring tennis as of late, but at least he is off the clay and onto a surface that suits his game perfectly. Roddick had a decent showing last week at Queens despite bowing out to compatriot James Blake in the semifinals. I'm sure that's not the result he had in mind heading into the tournament, but it should give him some much-needed confidence heading into Wimbledon. Roddick is certainly not in the top five in terms of current form, but his previous showings at Wimbledon (runner-up the last two years to Federer) make him my second choice to win the tournament.

David Nalbandian — The Argentine is right up there with Roddick at the top of the list of Federer's challengers, and he's had much more success than the American against the No. 1 player in the world. At last year's Masters Cup, Nalbandian beat Federer in five grueling sets in what was the second best match of the year behind Andre Agassi/James Blake at the U.S. Open. Most recently at Roland Garros, Nalbanian stormed to a shocking set and 3-0 lead on Federer in the semifinals, before ultimately retiring in the fourth set after his opponent drastically picked up his game.

Head-to-head, I think Roddick has the edge in a match against Nalbandian due to his firepower on grass. However, if one is to play Federer in the Wimbledon final, Nalbandian has the better chance. Federer knows he owns Roddick and Roddick knows it, too. On the other hand, Nalbandian's past performances against Federer give him cause to believe, and perhaps even give Federer some doubts.

Lleyton Hewitt — I discounted him at the French, but he proved me wrong with his run to the fourth round and respectable effort against Nadal. The same mistake will not be made here. Hewitt's triumph at Queens last week solidifies him as one of the top contenders. He benefited from Nadal's retirement after two sets of a quarterfinal match and took advantage by ousting hometown hero Tim Henman in the semis. The Aussie went on to erase James Blake (who took out Roddick in the other semifinal) in the championship match.

Not only is Hewitt playing good tennis at the moment, but he knows what it takes to win Wimbledon, as he proved in 2001. These factors, combined with his unparalleled mental fortitude, make him a scary opponent for anyone next week.

Rafael Nadal — Wimbledon is the only tournament that does not seed strictly by players' ATP ranking. Instead, the tournament directors also take into account past performances at the All-England Club, as well as potential on grass. Nadal, of course, is unaccomplished on the lawn, yet he has been granted the No. 2 seed behind Federer and ahead of Roddick. That's some serious respect for a player who has has been a terror on clay, but an also-ran on grass.

Nadal, however, does not have a big enough serve to take him deep into Wimbledon. The Spaniard is also inexperienced on grass, and he surely would have liked to make a deeper run at Queens to get some matches in on the foreign surface. His retirement against Hewitt was probably just precautionary, but his left shoulder is still a question mark heading into Wimbledon. I think reaching the fourth round would be a great achievement for Nadal at this stage in his career, but I can't imagine him going any further than that.

Ivan Ljubicic — The Croatian giant presents a terrifying matchup for anyone and everyone at this year's championships. While his powerful game is best suited for grass, Ljubicic has been tearing it up on the hard stuff and the clay throughout the season. He reached the quarterfinals of the Australian Open before losing to Marcos Baghdatis in five sets, and at Roland Garros he would have won a set off Nadal in the semis had it not been for a colossal brain cramp at 5-3 in the tiebreaker to the tune of a 140 mph second serve.

Ljubicic also reached the finals of the Nasdaq in Miami, where he lost to Federer in three hard-fought tie-break sets. His lethal combination of booming serve and one-handed backhand should allow him to make quick work of any unworthy opponents in the early rounds of Wimbledon. If Ljubicic gets a favorable draw, he will slug his way all the way to into the semifinals.

Dumber

James Blake — His victory over Andy Roddick at Queens last week should give Blake a shot of confidence heading into the tournament. However, he followed that win up with a relatively lackluster performance against Hewitt in the final, suggesting that Blake may not be ready for the big-time on grass. Yes, a win over Roddick on grass used to be as good as it gets, but not in this point in time.

If Blake can get his serve going and pick the right times to unleash his forehand, he could make it to the second week, but he'll be shown the door whenever he runs into a grass-court specialist. Unfortunately, that could come as early as the third round in the form of Max Mirnyi or Mark Philippoussis.

Fernando Gonzalez — The Argentine seems to be rounding into a player for all surfaces. His game is all about power, power, and more power, and that combination finally paid dividends for Gonzo on something other than clay last year at Wimbledon. Will he duplicate his 2005 run to the quarterfinals this time around? Gonzalez flamed out early at Roland Garros, but he appeared to recover from that by making a respectable showing at Queens. It's the draw — not his play — that will be Gonzo's undoing. If he is lucky enough to get past the winner of Greg Rusedski/Marit Safin in the second round, he'll eventually meet Hewitt in the fourth. The Aussie is not the guy you want to play if you're Gonzalez, he of an infamously fragile mental game.

Tommy Haas — Earlier this year, Haas was one of the three hottest players on tour, along with Federer and Blake. Unfortunately, the clay-court season really killed his buzz. Now Haas is back on a surface that could allow him to wreak the kind of havoc he was causing for the rest of the tour back in January and February. But speaking of killing buzz, the Wimbledon draw did just that for Haas. He'll be on a plane back to Germany after he does battle with one Roger Federer in the third round.

Tim Henman — The man on whom the British faithful pinned their hopes on to become the first homegrown Wimbledon champion since Fred Perry in 1936 is fading fast into the twilight of his career. I found no reason to believe he would regain the form he showed in 2001 when he lost in a one-for-the-ages semifinal match to eventual champ Goran Ivanisevic until last week at Queens. Henman took out Andre Agassi in the opening round and made it to the semis where he took a set off Hewitt before losing.

Unfortunately, any excitement that performance generated for his local following probably died with the draw ceremony. Not only did the All-England Club fail to give him a seed, but he has to play Federer in the second round. Depriving Tiger Tim of a seed at his own tournament is a travesty of similar proportions to the refereeing that took place in the USA soccer games against Italy and Ghana. The second round pairing simply adds salt on the wound.

They Might Be Giants

Mario Ancic — If Ancic is that good on clay, how good can he be on grass? At the French Open, which should present Ancic with his biggest challenge due to the slow surface, the Croat surged to a berth in the quarterfinals before losing to Federer. That can only mean he is playing brilliant tennis at the moment, and if Ancic can do what he did at Roland Garros, his potential at Wimbledon is uncapped. Like his compatriot Ljubicic, Ancic has an enormous serve that he can follow up with a punishing forehand. The rest of the field will want to avoid him at all costs. Looking at his draw, Ancic should coast into the quarterfinals where he will meet the three-soon-to-be-four-time champion.

Max Mirnyi — The Beast. Don't mess with The Beast. Especially not on grass. The 6'5'' Belarussian is in a quarter of the draw that contains nobody who is overly imposing, so this is a good opportunity for Max to match or surpass his fourth-round performance in 2005. And a note to any doubles fans out there: money put on the Jonas Bjorkman/Mirnyi team to win the doubles title is money well-spent.

Ivo Karlovic — The Croat is absolutely terrifying to play on grass. Just ask Lleyton Hewitt, who lost to Karlovic in the first round at Wimbledon the year after he won the whole thing. For me, it's surprise when Karlovic plays a set that is not decided with a tiebreaker, regardless of surface. On grass, it's a downright shock. And as we all know, anything can happen in a tiebreaker. Karlovic is the x-factor of this tournament. On any given day at Wimbledon, he could beat the No. 1 player in the draw, or just as easily lose to the No. 128 player in the field. Of course, if I'm that No. 128 player, I could think of several hundred other guys I'd rather play.

Bottom Line

Roger Federer is going to win the tournament. God knows who the runner-up will be. It should be a thrilling battle throughout the fortnight for second place at the All-England Lawn and Tennis Club.

Posted by Ricky Dimon at 2:07 AM | Comments (1)

Draft Devastates Big-Time Programs

As soon as the last strands of net are cut down and college basketball crowns its national champion, speculation about the next season begins. Dick Vitale anoints his top five on championship night and those who follow the game begin to prognosticate who the top teams will be by the time Midnight Madness convenes in October.

Two dates on the spring calendar that are crucial in college basketball are when players can enter their name into the NBA draft and the date that players who have not signed with an agent can withdraw their name from the draft. Players were required to submit their names to the NBA to enter into the draft by April 29 and players who did not sign with an agent were required to withdraw by June 18.

With the NBA age limit instituted this year, the draft is widely considered weak. No prep stars entering means more open slots for underclassman. Some of the players entering the draft went from no-names or bench-warmers in 2005 to potential lottery picks in 2006. The impact of the early entries staying in the draft and those who chose to return to school will have a big impact on the outcome of the 2007 season. Big-name schools can have their season made or broken by the decisions of 19-21-year-old men.

Programs that would have been Final Four contenders in 2007 can be rendered question marks by early losses to the draft. UConn, Texas, and Memphis took significant hits. All three programs would have been Final Four favorites entering next season before losing multiple players as early entrants. Villanova and LSU have talented rosters returning, but each took a hit in a significant area.

Two years after losing Ben Gordon and Emeka Okafor a year early and a year after Charlie Villanueva ended his college career with two years left, Jim Calhoun took UConn within a game of the Final Four this season. Bigger things were expected from the Huskies. They never seemed to find their rhythm in the NCAA tournament. The loss to George Mason will go down as one of the biggest upsets in NCAA tournament history. Already losing four seniors, UConn also had to absorb the losses of point guard Marcus Williams, forward Rudy Gay, and center Josh Boone to the Association with a year of college eligibility left.

Williams exit gives AJ Price his chance to make up for lost time. The rising sophomore missed his freshman season as a medical redshirt and then was suspended last season. Sophomore guard Craig Austrie did a good job while Williams was suspended for the first 11 games last year. Rising sophomore forward Jeff Adrien also will be counted on to add experience and leadership. With a very young team and a lack of depth, UConn could potentially slip to a bubble team.

Texas might have lost more than anyone in college basketball. Gay and Williams were both expected to leave UConn at the end of this season. Rick Barnes reasonably should have expected LaMarcus Aldridge to bolt at the end of this year. The departures of PJ Tucker and Daniel Gibson were unexpected and potentially devastating blows. Rising sophomore AJ Abrams will take over the point and incoming freshman Kevin Durant is a top-five national recruit.

Reserve forward Mike Williams, who would have been one of Texas' key players next season, decided to move on to Cincinnati. Williams was unhappy with his playing time during his first two seasons in Austin. The move was a curious one as Williams will have to sit out next season as a Bearcat. He would have been a starter and one of Rick Barnes' most important starters in 2007.

Abrams and Durant will form an extremely young nucleus next year. Center Connor Atchley and freshman forward Damion James should become major contributors. James had originally committed to Oklahoma, but was released from his letter of intent when former Sooner boss Kelvin Sampson moved on to Indiana. The maturation process of Abrams, Durant, and James should mirror the success of the 2007 Texas Longhorns.

Like Texas and UConn, Memphis fell one game shy of a Final Four trip. John Calipari's decision to remain in Memphis instead of taking over at North Carolina State seemed to be related to the high expectations in Graceland next season. With young stars Darius Washington and Shawne Williams, the Tigers appeared to be set for at least 2007. When that dynamic duo declared for the NBA draft, Memphis fell from a top-five team to out of the top 25. Senior Rodney Carney is also expected to be a first-round draft pick. Rising junior Joey Dorsey and rising sophomores Chris Douglas-Roberts and Antonio Anderson will be counted on by Calipari to raise their games a level for the Tigers to maintain their status as a program with a national profile.

This time last year, Tyrus Thomas was unknown outside of Baton Rouge. Coming off of a medical redshirt season, Thomas needed to focus on getting better to become a contributor for John Brady. After a Final Four trip, the lanky forward has parlayed himself into a lottery pick. Thomas played only one year for Brady after his redshirt season. He developed into a major star and with Glen Davis, was the primary reason the Bayou Bengals advanced to Indianapolis.

Brady was extremely fortunate to lose only Thomas. Davis is an emerging college basketball superstar and media darling. Garrett Temple, Tack Minor, and Tasmin Mitchell give LSU three other players who contributed significant minutes during their Final Four run. Add in rising sophomore Magnum Rolle and Marquette transfer Dameon Mason and LSU will still be one of the favorites in the SEC in 2007.

A 28-5 record, a share of the Big East regular season championship, and an Elite Eight appearance should solidify 2006 as one of the best in Villanova history. The loss of the star backcourt of Randy Foye and Allen Ray was already a big loss and left Jay Wright with questions entering 2007.

When rising junior point guard Kyle Lowry decided to join them in the NBA, Wright was left with a gaping hole. Lowry became entangled in problems of having his own workouts. It has been speculated that if he had decided to return for his junior season, Lowry would have faced a suspension due to improper workouts. He decided to keep his name in the draft after it appeared he would be a first-round draft pick.

Allen and Foye received most of the publicity, but Lowry was the one that ran the offense. Incoming freshman Scottie Reynolds will be burdened with high expectations and big shoes to fill. Reynolds was originally committed to Oklahoma, but was released from his scholarship when Sampson left. The players remaining around Reynolds should help 'Nova to continue to have a national presence. Mike Nardi is the lone holdover from Wright's frequent four-guard lineup. If Reynolds is not the answer at the point, Nardi could slide over. A deadly three-point shooter and excellent defensive player, Nardi helps the Wildcats more at the off-guard than the point.

Wright will likely shift the focus of the team to the frontcourt in 2007. Dante Cunningham and Will Sheridan showed continued improvement during the season and especially during the deep tournament run. Curtis Sumpter returns after missing last season because of a torn ACL suffered during Villanova's trip to the 2005 sweet 16. Sumpter was an All-American in the making before suffering the knee injury last season and also in 2004.

LSU's unlikely Final Four trip and Texas, Memphis, UConn, and Villanova's run to the Elite Eight were accomplished with a core of players that have moved on to the NBA. How their coaches and programs adapt and are able to fill the spots of the departed players will go a long way towards determining the immediate futures of their teams. The most successful programs are able to reload instead of rebuild, and if these five programs are able to accomplish that, then they will have teams that remain in the national spotlight in 2007.

Posted by Alan Rubenstein at 1:26 AM | Comments (2)

June 23, 2006

Guillen Leaves a Foul Stench

Ozzie Guillen likes to make out he's a fun guy and a "character." He says he's old-school and a traditionalist. Some have warmed to him, saying he's a breath of fresh air in a cliché-ridden sport.

Guillen isn't a breath of fresh air. He's a rancid foul stench, polluting a game that is in urgent need of cleansing.

Guillen and his apologists like to point to his Venezuelan background, stellar playing career, and World Series ring as justification for his "eccentricities." He hides behind cultural differences and language misunderstandings as soon as anyone picks him up on his ramblings.

That's pure BS. Guillen has lived in the United States long enough to understand what calling a guy a "fag" means. And his record as a player or manager is absolutely no defense, though the redneck element amongst White Sox fans, of which there are many, will no doubt disagree.

In actual fact, Guillen's actions reveal him as a posturing coward. He struts around with the tired, old, clichéd South American machismo image that looks ridiculous anywhere other than Buenos Aires or Miami, but retreats behind fake apologies and "misunderstandings" as soon as he's challenged.

Jay Mariotti, the reporter on the end of Guillen's latest outburst, isn't the issue here. Mariotti has been around Chicago long enough to look after himself, especially against a man who seems to like others, in the form of rookie pitchers, to do his fighting for him.

The issue is whether baseball has the strength of character to send a message to a man whose ego is so inflated that he thinks he's beyond reproach.

Bud Selig, who must be desperate to take a break from the drugs-mire he's been embroiled in for what seems like years, can prove his own Wisconsin-machismo by suspending Guillen for 30 days. Nothing else will suffice or the out-of-control Guillen will take it as baseball's seal of approval for his "straight-forwardness."

"We're looking into it," Richard Levin, spokesman for Major League Baseball said of the incident, declining further comment. He said he didn't want to speculate on the possibility of MLB-ordered sensitivity training.

Not a good start for an administration attempting to counter claims of weakness and complicity towards drug usage.

Guillen should have been suspended after being captured on TV ripping rookie pitcher Sean Tracey after he failed to plunk Hank Blalock during a Texas rout of Chicago last week. He wasn't because baseball is run by weak-willed administrators and played by men who believe in an outdated system of payback and silence.

What is it with baseball and plunking? Vicente Padilla hits AJ Pierzynski twice on the arm, probably at least one of those times deliberately. Pierzynski is not a popular man around baseball's clubhouses, but he was unhurt and didn't feel the need to charge the mound to protect his manliness.

This wasn't good enough for Out-of-Control Ozzie, who orders a young kid with control issues to plunk Blalock, a completely innocent bystander in all this.

Please, all you Bob "Mr. Baseball" Brenly traditionalists out there, tell me why Blalock deserved to have a baseball thrown at his head or body deliberately, an action that could draw a jail sentence if committed on the street? I can see why AJ would go to Padilla and punch his lights out after the game, or even during, at a push. But why has Blalock got to have his life or career threatened by a kid who couldn't hit a barn door from 30 feet away?

Tracey failed in his task and got chewed out, embarrassingly, by Guillen, who then (cowardly) offered the lame excuse that he was upset a relief pitcher wasn't ready to go to the mound. At this point, Guillen should have got a minimum of five days for ordering his guy to throw at a batter, the exact punishment that (equally-cowardly) Randy Johnson got for throwing at Eduardo Perez.

If Guillen felt so strongly about this, why didn't he charge the mound himself and confront Padilla? Or confront him after? Instead, he whines to reporters about the game "wimping-out" and, the next day, calls out Pierzynski for not charging the mound.

Most of the opinion from fans on this matter backs Guillen and his call for Tracey to plunk Blalock. I'm not surprised by that. A lot of baseball fans like the machismo element of the sport, just as some hockey fans like the fights more than the goals.

There are a number of baseball fans who would soil their pants if confronted by a Vicente Padilla fastball — or Vicente Padilla himself. But they can be tough guys vicariously, by giving their stamp of approval to throwing a baseball at an innocent man's head and eulogizing over idiots like Guillen and their "payback mentality."

Guillen can talk all he likes about courage. He claims Mariotti doesn't have the courage to talk to him before and after he writes columns about the White Sox.

Mariotti is a sports writer who is paid to offer analysis and opinion. He's not there to suck-up to a man of such fragile self-respect he needs a preening dandy like Mariotti to hang on to his every word and action like a besotted teenage girl.

Guillen doesn't understand what courage means. Courage isn't haranguing a young kid on national TV. It isn't winning a World Series or having a good baseball career. It isn't collecting a huge salary for making a couple of line-up changes and chewing a lot of gum or tobacco.
Courage is what Pat Tillman had. It's what Hilda Hubbard, an 82-year-old woman I've known since I was 15, has and needs while she fights a battle against cancer. It's what countless people around the world have as they fight wars, disease, and poverty.

Maybe one day Guillen will be in a situation where he needs genuine courage. He's yet to prove he possesses anything more than small-mindedness and cowardice.

Posted by Mike Round at 10:35 PM | Comments (6)

Oh, the Irony!

Phil Mickelson stood on the 18th tee in the last hole of the U.S. Open on Sunday evening with a one stroke lead. Before him laid a 460-yard par 4, one of the toughest on the punishing West Course at Winged Foot.

The mission was simple. If he could manage a par or better on this hole, then he would become the winner of the U.S. Open. On top of that, he would have become the second person to win three consecutive majors in the modern era and have a chance to complete the Mickelslam at Hoylake in July's British Open.

The Phil Mickelson that we have come to know over the past nine major championships — including this one — would have simply hit a 4-wood or 3-iron into the fairway. He then would have hit another mid-to-long iron into the hole and two putted for the win. We would all be clambering to see if Mickelson could shake off his ineptitude at the British Open and somehow pull out a win across the pond.

Apparently, though, that Phil Mickelson walked off the 71st hole of the championship and entered the missing persons program. The Phil that appeared on the 72nd hole, the Phil that cost himself the title, was the Phil Mickelson of old. You know that Phil. He's the 0-for-43, go-for-broke, and smile in defeat Phil Mickelson. That Phil hit a driver off the tee, swung way too hard with the lead, and then sent his tee shot square into the woods. When he could not get out in one shot, he decided that the second time would work. And then that was all she wrote.

It is ironic that Phil Mickelson's natural tendencies cost him the U.S. Open. He had become such a student of the majors, so disciplined in his approach, and seemed to have this majors things down to a science. He had figured out how to suppress the poisonous, irrational voices in his head and replaced them with words of confidence from his caddy Bones, his teacher Rick Smith, and his posse. He had listened to them for nearly the entire tournament and that positioned him to win.

That single lapse, though, is indicative of the incredibly tenuous hold that players have over their destinies in the U.S. Open. Any U.S. Open course, especially Winged Foot, can ruin a golfer with one single mistake. The USGA presents a test to the best golfers in the world that requires competent skill and impeccable decision making at every step of the way.

Phil Mickelson made a lot of mistakes on Sunday and throughout the week. He was weak off of the tee most of the week and was atrocious on Sunday. Yet, he was able to compensate most of the time with brilliant iron play and the innovative short game that is his trademark. If any other player in the field had played like Mickelson did off of the tee, they would have missed the cut and been embarrassed. Mickelson had the game, though, to stave off the handicap he imposed on himself and give himself a chance to win.

There are only so many times that you can pull the rabbit out of your hat before the rabbit chews his way out. Phil went to the hat one too many times and he probably did it believing that he would once again be able to pull off the same magic that was his trademark this week and through his career. That one mistake cost him more than he may even realize.

It was almost as though this entire U.S. Open was a fight between the old Phil and the new Phil. The new Phil managed to pick up after almost all of the messes that the old Phil seemed to keep making. In reality, we almost were witness to what it would have looked like if the old Phil were to win a major championship. What we take away from this (and already knew), and what Phil hopefully learns, is that the old Phil is really only good enough to take Mickelson so far — just shy of the apex.

For Phil to get back on track and continue his dominance in the majors, he needs to get back to the Mickelson that won the PGA and Masters. He needs to return to the Phil that is strong enough to overcome those lapses in judgment that are bound to happen. After all, a man can only resist his urges for so long. It just happened that Phil could not fight the urge when he most needed to on Sunday at Winged Foot.

Posted by Ryan Ballengee at 9:46 PM | Comments (0)

June 22, 2006

Mark Cuban's Costly Tirade

The Heat came to Dallas and proved that they could do something they had not done all year — they went into American Airlines Center and got a win. They earned a great victory and are well-deserving world champions.

However, somewhere in Dallas, Mark Cuban has to be wondering if his tirade after the Mavericks' loss in Game 5 contributed to his team's ultimate demise. Through five games in this series, the home team had enjoyed a positive free-throw margin of 174-129. In fact, Dallas itself had a positive 54-51 margin in its first two home games.

But Game 6 was a different story. The Heat enjoyed a 15-2 free throw advantage in the first half of this deciding contest. Ultimately, the final margin was 37-23, favoring Miami.

Attribute it to the Heat's attacking, aggressive style of play in Game 6. Blame it on the Mavericks settling for jump shot after jump shot instead of forcing the issue by taking the ball hard to the basket. But maybe, just maybe, the disparity in free throw shooting in the favor of the visiting Heat was a little good old-fashioned payback.

Cuban deserves much credit for making key moves to turn around the Dallas franchise. His style is controversial, intense, and effective. Many see him as a crusader for referee reform. Others, as an owner who needs to back off and let the real basketball people be the face of his operation.

During and after game five in Miami, Cuban reportedly publicly called out the officials. Again, according to reports, his frustrations boiled over into profane venting during post-game interviews.

Cuban's attacks on NBA officiating are nothing new. His blog is a regular posting grounds for his dissatisfaction. Resulting fines are apparently a minor business expense (and matched for charity by Cuban). The $250,000 fine after game five is probably not much of a deterrent for Cuban. More costly is the possibility of a little retribution.

Did the referees see this game through lenses colored Heat red by Cuban's attacks? The large free throw margin favoring visiting Miami might indicate as much. Different styles of play can result in the referees awarding one team with more free throws than the other. Equally logical is the conclusion that the calls being made by the officials influence the style of play of the teams. Teams awarded free throws for touch fouls are going to be more aggressive than teams that seemingly are not getting the calls.

We may never know for sure whether the outcome of this game was impacted by Cuban's meltdown. However, Cuban and much of Dallas are undoubtedly lamenting what could have been. Maybe Dallas fans are even wondering if the Mavericks would have lived to play another day in Game 7 if only their owner had not lost it and gone off on the officials yet again.

Todd Beckstead is the founder of MonsterDraft.com, featuring fantasy football draft strategies.

Posted by Todd Beckstead at 11:54 PM | Comments (0)

World Cup: England vs. Ecuador

England has not been as impressive as their fans might have hoped. They scored early in their opener against Paraguay (courtesy of an own goal), then nervously held on for 1-0 win.

England followed that up with another nervous performance, scoring twice late in a victory over a severely outmanned Trinidad and Tobago team. Their last game against Sweden was when they looked their best ... offensively. Unfortunately for them, they conceded twice, and were lucky to not give up more.

In addition to their defensive worries, the strike force injuries are just as troubling. Michael Owen looks almost certain to miss the rest of the World Cup, and Wayne Rooney is just returning from a broken foot.

That leaves Peter Crouch and Theo Walcott as the only strikers who are truly 100%, and Walcott has yet to grace the pitch in this World Cup after not playing a single game all year in the English Premier League.

The team they will be facing is one of the surprise teams of the tournament. Ecuador showed they don't need the high altitude of Quito to win games. They qualified after their first two games, easing past the most disappointing team of this World Cup, Poland, with a 2-0 win. They followed that up with an equally impressive effort against Costa Rica, hammering them 3-0.

They did lose to Germany in their final group game, but they rested strikers Agustin Delgado and Carlos Tenorio who had scored in both of their previous games, so I wouldn't put a lot of stock in that game.

I think this will be a closer game than most observers would think it to be. Ecuador will not be intimidated — they play Brazil and Argentina regularly, including victories over both in qualifying. Their lack of experience this late in a World Cup will not be a factor.

Ecuador also has two strikers that are at the top of their games and are in tune with one another. Both Delgado and Tenorio can beat you on the ground and in the air.

I believe, though, that this England team just has too many resources. That, and Steven Gerrard — he is putting on an absolute show in this World Cup. They will have a sufficient scare from the more than competent Ecuadorians, but in the end, they get the win. England in a nailbiter, 2-1.

Posted by Piet Van Leer at 11:14 PM | Comments (11)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 15

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson chose to remain on the track in sixth place instead of pitting as the rain fell just before NASCAR's decision to call the 3M Performance 400 in Michigan. That allowed Johnson to recover the 26 points he lost to Matt Kenseth last week in Pocono. He now leads Kenseth by 74 points.

"Here's a quick solution to rain delays and cancelations," proposes Johnson. "Don't have them. Why can't we race in the rain? They do it in Formula 1. Wet-weather driving would separate the men from the boys. I think then you'll find that there are more boys than men."

2. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth survived a spin, a pit lane accident with the No. 23 car of Bill Lester, and a lengthy pit stop in which a tire escaped from the pit crew. Still, Kenseth pulled out of 13th-place finish to keep Jimmie Johnson in sight — he trails Johnson by 74, and leads third-place Kasey Kahne by 170.

"Normally, I'm proud to drive a Ford," says Kenseth, "but after seeing the Ford commercial starring that prematurely graying American Idol Taylor Hicks, I'm not so proud. Is that supposed to make me want to buy a Ford? Throw in 0% financing, $15,000 cash back, and a chance to slug Hicks in the jaw, and I might buy a Ford. If not, that macho man Clay Aiken could sing me into a H2 Hummer anyday."

3. Kasey Kahne — Kahne won the pole on Friday, hammered the wall in Saturday's practice, then won the rain-shortened 3M Performance 400 on Sunday for his fourth win of the year. Kahne also overcame an early green-flag pit stop that left him a lap down.

"Gosh, I really wish we could have ran the last 71 laps of the race," says Kahne. "That way, I could have finished the final third of the bologna sandwich I was enjoying when the race was called. Fans complain that they didn't get the excitement of a full race. Well, I didn't get to finish my sandwich."

4. Dale Earnhardt, Jr — Earnhardt, in the red-on-white retro Budweiser paint scheme, scored his best finish since his win in Richmond with a third in Michigan. Earnhardt moves up two places to fourth in the points, 275 out of first.

"Yeah, wasn't that a cool paint job," says Earnhardt. "It makes you long for the days when Budweiser was the only Budweiser Anheuser Busch made. Now you got Bud Light, Bud Ice, and Bud Yuppie, also known as Budweiser Select. But, enough about beer. Let's talk food. My former teammate, Michael Waltrip, will drive for Toyota next year and will be sponsored by Burger King and Domino's Pizza. Does this mean we'll be seeing commercials starring the Burger King and Michael? They'll make a great pair. They already have the same hairdo. And Michael should be a wizard at selling pizzas. You know what the difference between Michael Waltrip and Domino's is? Domino's delivers."

5. Tony Stewart — On lap 22, as Stewart was just thinking how nice it's been not hitting the wall, the No. 20 Home Depot Chevrolet was nicked by the car of Jeff Green. Stewart was sent spinning into the wall and was plowed by the No. 7 Jack Daniels's car of Clint Bowyer. An outraged Stewart sped to the garage and helped crewmen bang his car back into shape. Stewart returned to the track but finished 41st after completing just 58 laps.

"I don't know what Jeff Green was thinking," says Stewart. "Apparently, he was thinking the same thing Jamie McMurray was thinking when he wrecked my teammate, JJ Yeley. I know what I was thinking when I was banging on my fender: that the fender was Green's head."

6. Mark Martin — During the race's final caution, Martin pitted in 20th place for four tires and a wedge adjustment and returned to the track in 27th with the expectation that there was lots of racing left. Minutes later, the skies opened up and the race was called 71 short of the complete 200.

"I think now you'll see several teams employ a full-time weatherman," says Martin. "I don't think anyone was quite sure what the weather was going to do. The No. 6 AAA team is technologically advanced mechanically, but weather-wise we're behind the times. We usually get our forecast when my spotter licks his finger and holds it up to the breeze."

7. Jeff Burton — Burton recorded his ninth-straight top-15 finish in Michigan but, like many drivers, felt the rain prevented a much better result. With his 11th-place finish, he holds on to seventh in the points, 407 behind Jimmie Johnson.

"It seemed like NASCAR officials were in a hurry to get out of there," says Burton. "Maybe they wanted to get home to see the multiple collapses in the U.S. Open. I haven't seen that much choking since Jimmy Spencer got hold of Kurt Busch."

8. Kevin Harvick — Harvick and crew knew impending rain would impact the duration of the 3M Performance 400 in Michigan, so the No. 29 used shrewd pit strategy to move up from a starting position of 19th. Harvick finished 10th, a day after padding his Busch series lead with a sixth-place result after a first-lap spin in the Meijer 300.

"Shocking news in the Busch series," says Harvick. "A Busch series regular won the Meijer 300, the first time a Nextel Cup driver hasn't won this year. It was won by David Galliland, who, before becoming a driver, was stranded on an island with six other castaway's as the star of his own reality show, Galliland's Island. With Skipper the crew chief, the Professor the engineer, the millionaire car owner and his wife, and two chicks named Ginger and Mary Ann."

9. Greg Biffle — Biffle scored his sixth-straight top-10 finish with a fourth in Michigan to finally crack the points top 10. Biffle may now be hitting his stride after a slow start. Last year at this time, Biffle already had five wins. This year, he has only one victory, but is poised to add to that total.

"Roush power can always overcome a slow start," says Biffle. "I know when the Chase begins, there will be four Roush cars in it, just like last year. And just as Kurt Busch didn't make the Chase last year, his replacement, Jamie McMurray, won't make it this year. Jack can only carry so much dead weight. NASCAR will be doing him a favor when they limit the number of teams an owner can support to four."

10. Jeff Gordon — Gordon was Sunday's lap leader, leading 50 of 129 laps on his way to a finish of eighth, his first result in the top 10 since Darlington. He held on to 11th in the points, and is only 11 points back of 10th-place Greg Biffle.

"Just when people were writing off Jeff Gordon," says Gordon, "I pull out a top-10. A lot of doubters have questioned my commitment to racing. Well, I'm here to say that I am totally committed. Racing is a 24-7 job, and I'm on the job 24-7. Surprisingly, I was able to squeeze in a guest host spot on Live With Regis and Kelly last Tuesday. I guess Regis was off promoting his hosting gig on America's Got Talent. Ironically, people watch these shows to see people without talent. Where's The Gong Show when you need it?"

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 10:40 PM | Comments (0)

June 21, 2006

It's Finals Week!

Finals Week has now concluded and with its passage, the last remnants of our winter season have withered under the June sun. For one thing, the school year is ending across America. My two oldest sons just finished final exams and our town's school system has set them loose for a summer of, "Dad, I'm bored." For another thing, it is the end of the winter sports schedule.

The Carolina Hurricanes got their passing grades on Monday evening. They survived a near meltdown to become the fourth transient franchise in the last eleven seasons to win their first Stanley Cup in a new city. As Hartford joined Minneapolis and Quebec City in lamenting what could have been, Glen Wesley has become the latest former Bruins defenseman to experience what finally is, sipping from the Cup for the first time in his 18-year career. Even a non-partisan observer such as myself finds thrill in witnessing the uninhibited joys of first-time success.

Edmonton, on the other hand, will be held back for a year. The Oilers earned an "A" in achievement as they became the first eight-seed ever to make it to the Stanley Cup Finals. However, they failed Power Plays 101, finishing with five goals in 46 opportunities, three coming in Game 6. As if that weren't a sufficient indictment, how about 0-for-5 in two-man advantages — including a potential 1:56 double-man advantage in the second period of Game 7 that was squandered within a minute by Ryan Smyth's hooking call?

The cramped style of play that Oilers coach Craig MacTavish adopted in the playoffs may have enabled this eight-seed to overachieve into June, but it did not make entertaining theatre for hundreds of thousands of potential bubble fans like me who anticipated a more open game as advertised by league rules changes last summer. I came to believe that shooting the puck into your opponent's thigh pads was a new objective of those rules changes. And we neophytes responded with Nielsen ratings of 1.7 and 2.0 in the first two NBC broadcasts, an "F" in any grade book.

Remember back on those school days passed, as your whole class was kept after because someone carved "Teacher Sucks" into the wooden desktop? Well, Mark Cuban did some carving of his own, and it might well have been the epitaph to his Dallas Mavericks' season. The outspoken owner was that kid in the front row who always talks without being called upon or even raising his hand. But the more he talked, the more the Miami Heat walked to the free throw line and their first ever NBA title.

It's safe to say that the Finals' referee crew elevated the Heat's Dwyane Wade to a national treasure, sending him to the line 25 times in Sunday's pivotal Game 5. As talent goes, this crew is every bit on par with the newfound object of their affection, creating scoring opportunities for Wade where even he falls short. With the Heat down by one in Sunday's overtime period, there was no way Wade wasn't getting the ball. Nor was there any way he wasn't going to the line. Dirk Nowitzki just happened to be a convenient medium.

Now, these officials certainly possess more versatility than to relegate their vengeance to mere foul-calling. Their arsenal, which includes a czar-like power to suspend, can apparently pierce the player-coach privilege. This striped crew eavesdropped into an intimate conversation between Dallas forward Josh Howard and coach Avery Johnson held in front of 20,145 people as Cuban, who was doing his best to show them up in his Jerry Stackhouse jersey, began demonstratively protesting Nowitzki's near-fatal foul in front of a national television audience. Dallas was awarded their final time-out without ever raising their hand, thereby making it 47 feet less probable Cuban's men would eke one out.

Game, Heat. Advantage, Heat. Then Tuesday night: Match, Heat.

It's hard to recall that, only one week ago to the day, Dallas reached its high-water mark. They had aced their first two exams and were 6:15 away from a third. But there was more than ticks of a clock standing between them and an insurmountable lead. There was Dwyane Wade, perhaps the postseason successor to Michael Jordan in the making. With 127 points over the next 155 playing minutes, Wade reversed the series and engineered only the third 0-2 comeback in NBA Finals history. Perhaps Mark Cuban should have worn a No. 3 jersey during Tuesday night's swan song.

Indeed, that game proved to be all that was left of this Finals Week, 2006. The kids are home, the house is a mess, the refrigerator empty. The ice at the RBC Center in Raleigh has been reduced to a puddle with a Sacagawea golden dollar coin sitting at the bottom of it. And now, the custodian has made his final rounds at the American Airlines Arena and flipped the light switch on his way out

It was a week I enjoyed: alternating nights of the NBA and NHL sharing the prime-time stage, a Thunderdome fight for Nielsen supremacy, color analysts collected from retirement homes and Manpower lines across the country, relief from American Idol and three helpings of Deal Or No Deal. Best of all, it was Dad's Night In, a quiet time to retreat from the long day and revel in the one basal pleasure that has followed me from boyhood.

The summer to come will bring pleasures quite different. They will come without the quiet, and they will come at the behest of others wishing to combat the ennui of adolescence. They are a welcome reminder of the fullness of my life now, but it is a fullness that nevertheless finds momentary void this time each year.

Posted by Bob Ekstrom at 7:16 PM | Comments (0)

World Cup: Germany vs. Sweden

Germany proved invulnerable to minimal resistance as they waltzed to the second round with an unblemished record, capturing the full nine points from their three games against inferior opposition.

They dominated Costa Rica in the first game, scoring four goals, although all was not necessarily well after surrendering two goals to former Manchester City striker Paulo Wanchope.

Defensive worries for the host nation were quickly quashed with suffocating performances in their next two games, both shutout victories against Poland and Ecuador.

Their next opponents haven't looked nearly as impressive. In Sweden's first game, they failed to solve the vexing Trindad and Tobago defense, as the game ended scoreless.

Sweden controlled the second game much as they did the first one, but Paraguay proved every bit as stubborn as their previous foes. In the end, an 89th minute cleverly directed header from Freddie Ljungberg proved to be the difference maker.

In their last game against England, they had the better of chances overall, but their goalkeeping and defense were slightly exposed as they gave up two goals, but battled back from deficits both times to earn a well-deserved 2-2 draw with the Lions.

The Germans now look every bit the tournament favorite casual fans would think they are based on the formula of prior World Cup performances coupled with the advantage that comes from playing all of your games in front of patriotic crowds.

But how much do we really know about Germany? Sure, they've looked good, but that might have more to do with the lack of strength from their opposition as opposed to the strength of Juergen Klinsmann's team. Add to it that the tightest game they were involved in, a 1-0 win against Poland, they faced no offensive pressure. And I just wonder what would happen if they had to come from behind for the first time in this tournament.

Fortunately for the Germans (and unfortunately if you root Sweden), I doubt the Swedes possess the makeup to take that all important lead. Health to key players (Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Ljungberg) raises serious doubts, as does their lack of offensive potency.

If you're rooting for Sweden, set pieces might add a glimmer of hope. Four separate times, Sweden troubled England on corner kicks, and both goals came from dead ball situations (a corner kick and a throw in).

There is no doubt the Swedes showed they have the heart to compete, but they will be outmanned both on the field and in the stands. Germany marches to the quarterfinals with a 2-0 win.

Posted by Piet Van Leer at 6:28 PM | Comments (0)

How to Lose a Win-Win Situation

Name me one more obvious win-win situation for your team in the bottom of the ninth than having a) the game tied; b) the bases loaded; c) the infield and the outfield in; d) nothing more arduous than a soft fly, a soft grounder, or a suicide squeeze needed to win the game right then and there — and, above all else, nobody out. Especially when you're being managed by a fellow who won a division championship with that precise ninth-inning scenario, almost.

The Pittsburgh Pirates Monday afternoon had it even better than the Los Angeles Dodgers had it two Octobers ago. And the Dodgers had it simple enough. All Steve Finley had to do, with one out and the Giants pulling everyone short of the bullpens in, was get something, anything in the air. All he did was get it in the air, over everyone's head, and over the right field fence, and the 2004 National League West was theirs.

The Pirates didn't have anything that important on the line, not having been 7-10 on the month before game time. But when you're given an even bigger gift than the Giants gave the Dodgers in that arduous game, especially in a makeup game from an May 11th rain-out, looking the Arizona gift horses in the mouth was the last advice Jim Tracy (then the Dodgers' manager, now the Pirates' keeper) would have given his men.

Not with the Diamondbacks a) entering the game 1-12 since the Jason Grimsley search and strike; and, b) having a man with a five-plus ERA on the mound (Greg Aquino), especially since said man gave Jason Bay a pass on the house after Jack Wilson and Sean Casey opened with back-to-back singles.

Up came Jeromy Burnitz, who may be getting older and whose bat may not be able to leap fences in single swings at will, but who does have enough left to get something over shallow heads. And swish he went.

Up came Freddy Sanchez, 2-for-5 to that point with a handsome .353 batting average on his season's resume. And swish he went.

Up came Jose Castillo, who had already left five men on base while taking an 0-for-4 to this point but still carrying a .283 average with 11 bombs, 39 RBI, a reasonable .339 on-base percentage, and a .478 slugging average. And swish he went.

Up came Arizona's Johnny Estrada to swat home Orlando Hudson with the tiebreaker in in the top of the 11th. And out to the mount went Jorge Julio — whose change of scenery is doing him at least as much good as is that of the man for whom the Snakes obtained him, Orlando Hernandez with the Mets — to get one groundout and two punchouts in the bottom, to save the 5-4 win the Diamondbacks couldn't give away if they had snoozed through the ninth after the Pirates loaded them up.

And up, very likely, went Tracy's blood pressure. This he didn't need, after fuming over a pair of Sunday plays that could have been called tough — and did get the Minnesota Twins a four-run eighth — but were called doable by Tracy, based on his own experience and observations.

"I saw two sliders for strikes. The rest were balls in the dirt," said Tracy after Monday's surreality. "We didn't show good patience there. The onus isn't on the hitter there, it's on the pitcher. You have everything in your favor there."

In theory, in Pittsburgh.

Posted by Jeff Kallman at 5:42 PM | Comments (0)

June 20, 2006

The Creation of a Fan Law

In a less-than-clever spin off of the Miller Lite man laws commercials, I spent a segment of my radio show a few weeks back debating fan laws with the other people that work on the program. We came to some conclusions, agreed on some rules that all serious fans should abide by, and generally felt proud of ourselves for our effort. Talking to Carson Palmer changed everything.

It seemed like an easy enough topic, the commercials are fairly popular, and a way to determine the true devotion of a fan seemed like a sure winner. It just wasn't that easy. We settled on a few easy ones — you can't bring your glove to the ballpark if you are older than 12 unless it's for protection (a caveat I added to cover someone I used to do radio with, he actually broke his nose doing play-by-play so he needs protection whenever he's around athletic games), no cheering for a t-shirt if you are over 12, no keeping of foul balls if there are any kids around, etc.

Then things got harder. We struggled with how often fans had to tailgate at football games, how many times a week they had to watch SportsCenter, and with how many sporting events they needed to attend every month. It seemed so simple when my co-host suggested the idea. He couldn't stand American Idol and how many sports radio hosts were discussing the show and wanted to take a firm stance against it and those who love it. The segment after that, we talked with Bengals Pro Bowl quarterback Carson Palmer, and that changed my whole perspective on the fan laws.

It was the day after the American Idol finale, and Carson was pretty upset at the outcome. He openly admitted having the McPheever and thought Katherine McPhee was a lock to win (she lost to a young guy posing as an old guy). He said he took a lot of flack from guys in the locker room for claiming the show, but that didn't stop him from claiming the show. All of a sudden, making fun of guys for watching American Idol just didn't seem right anymore.

It's one thing for his teammates to give him garbage, but how could I ever feel right giving someone trash for watching the show when one of the top players in the NFL openly claims the show? It's not like I'm going to try and revoke Carson Palmer's man-card, so I was in a tough spot. What if he secretly enjoys drinking Zima, but we just didn't get to that in the interview? What if Jerome Bettis reveals that he owns a Clay Aiken album? This is a slippery slope, one that certainly changes any hope to pin down fan laws, let alone man laws.

It's easy to reach a consensus about things like tailgating and wearing customized jerseys with your own name on it, but everything changes if one of your favorite athletes admits to committing one of those acts. I've realized that from here on out Carson Palmer will be my standard for future fan laws. It cannot become official unless it's something I'd openly give Carson Palmer crap for if he did it.

With that in mind, I'm going to have to start from scratch with all fan laws. For me, there's no better place to start than with the wave. Real sports fans should never, under any circumstances, do the wave at a major sporting event. The fact that people get excited and pumped up for this is one of the most perplexing questions I've had to deal with during my time on this planet.

What the hell is the point of the wave? Perhaps the wave meant more during the era of its inception (the early-'80s at an NHL game or a MLB game) because it was new, but now it's beyond useless. While it rarely affects the crowd, when it does it only hurts the atmosphere. Instead of watching the game and cheering on their team, people keep their heads on a swivel to marvel in thousands of people being able to stand up at slightly synchronized times.

I've never seen any team get a big boost from their crowd doing the wave and I've never seen it fire up any fans. When talking about home-field advantage, players and analysts use things like decibel level to describe their fans. No one says "our fans are very adept at performing a coordinated sequence of actions." Then again, if you can't get motivated by transverse waves going at a rate of 22 seats per second, well, then you just can't get motivated period.

I never really began to hate the wave until I was at a Reds game recently. Two fans in my section, who weren't at the game together, tried to rally the crowd by encouraging everyone to start doing the wave. They failed miserably, and I'm assuming their fate in life was no different if that was their idea of a good time. I simply don't understand people like this. If they had pulled it off, would these fans have basked in their glory at a local watering hole after the game? Would they then recall the best waves they've been a part of? Would they put this sort of information on their resume?

There are plenty of ways to get fans involved in the game and it's still possible to get that special feeling of doing something thousands of other people are doing simultaneously by actually cheering wildly for your team (or by booing injured athletes in Philadelphia, or trying to be seen on TV if you're in L.A.). The wave is a waste of time, politically incorrect (why not just rename it the Tsunami?), and something that any real sports fan needs to avoid.

Consider it official, if you do the wave, I think less of you. This goes for you, too, Carson.

The Sports Gospel According to Mark is sponsored by BetOnSports.com. All readers get a 10% signup bonus at BetOnSports by entering "Sports Gospel Promo" as the promo code. Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on SC. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].

Posted by Mark Chalifoux at 8:19 PM | Comments (0)

Stanley Cup Finals: It's Hurricane Season

If it wasn't Hurricane season before, it certainly is now. The Carolina Hurricanes are the 2006 Stanley Cup champs.

RBC Center in Raleigh was packed with 18,978 of Carolina faithful for the eagerly-awaited Game 7. For those present, June 19 was a magical night that the home team dominated, resulting a 3-1 victory and the Stanley Cup.

Carolina set the tone early when Aaron Ward scored 1:26 into the game. "We knew we had to score first [if we were going to win]," said LW Cory Stillman of the Canes' mindset before the game.

From that point onward, Carolina maintained control, particularly with checking harder and skating faster. Edmonton recorded 15 hits in the first and second periods, while Carolina had 33. When 'Canes defenseman Frantisek Kaberle scored 4:18 into the second period, the Oilers found themselves in a position of merely keeping up, not gaining momentum.

That momentum nearly changed 16 minutes into the second period when Edmonton had a valuable five-on-three chance. With Niclas Wallin in the box for hooking and Aaron Ward joining him after a delay of game penalty a mere five seconds later, the Oilers looked poised to reduce Carolina's two-goal lead.

It was the opportunity that renewed Edmonton's energy. Suddenly, the Oilers were moving across the ice with more vigor, pounding the net with seven shots in the last four minutes of the second period.

Unfortunately for Edmonton, 'Canes goaltender Cam Ward was a rock, stopping every shot during the power play.

It was a theme that haunted the Oilers throughout the game. Edmonton couldn't capitalize on power play chances, while Carolina scored on one its of four opportunities.

Desperate in the third period, Edmonton pulled goaltender Jussi Markkanen at 18:25. The Oilers' final efforts didn't end with a puck in the net. Instead, RW Justin Williams scored an empty-netter for Carolina.

"Cam Ward shut the door on the chances we had," said Oilers head coach Craig McTavish. "Five-on-threes were a factor in why we lost the series. We had three or four of them [in the finals] and we might have left one on the table."

Calm and expressionless when asked about Carolina's aggressive play, he replied, "A team doesn't get to game seven by being wallflowers. They had something to prove [after losing Game 6]."

For Carolina, proving themselves meant working as a team. "It was about every guy in the locker room," said Hurricanes defenseman Glen Wesley.

Team captain Rod Brind'Amour added, "There's too many guys [on this team] that deserve this. I can't be happier for all of these people."

Brind'Amour waited the longest of any Carolina player for the Stanley Cup — 18 years. He was the first to hoist the Cup, and even though he was cited as being the motivational leader by his teammates, Brind'Amour was quick to name Cam Ward as the key factor to Carolina's success.

"Goaltending wins your championships," Brind'Amour said. "We got to raise the Cup because of that kid."

Ward, 22, was the recipient of the Conn Smythe trophy, given to the most valuable player of the series.

"We responded tonight with the best effort of the year," Carolina head coach Peter Laviolette said.

Posted by Charlynn Smith at 1:43 PM | Comments (0)

Has DWI Sealed Redick's Fate?

Elton Brand is the exception. Not the rule.

Simply put, former Duke players do not thrive in the NBA. Why, nobody can know for sure. It's certainly not for a lack of talent, as Coach K gets whomever he damn well pleases year in and year out before spitting them out into the NBA. At the same time, however, perhaps Coach K does get the most out of what he has, and then when the Trajan Langdons of the world get cast away from Papa Bear, they rot under the guidance of a new mentor. But I refuse to give Coach K that much credit.

Perhaps Duke players are cursed. Yes, that must be it. How else can you explain the Duke basketball version of a "Series of Unfortunate Events?" Consider:

Grant Hill emerged from Krzyzewskiville as the owner of two national championships and as the player who inbounded the ball to Christian Laettner that set in motion a play that will live in college basketball lore forever. It seemed as if Hill was destined for greatness when the Detroit Pistons drafted him with the third overall pick of the 1994 NBA Draft. And his first season did not disappoint. Not only did the small forward share Rookie of the Year honors with then Mavericks point guard Jason Kidd, but he also became the first rookie to lead the league in all-star voting. The fans bestowed the same recognition upon him the next year. For Grant Hill, the sky was the limit.

While Hill had a few more productive seasons in the late-'90s, he has only played more than one-third of a season once since the turn of the century. Myriad injuries, far too many to discuss in anything less than an epic novel, ultimately derailed a career that, to Hill's credit, is somehow still going on. Grant Hill deserved better. That is the first and probably the last time I will say that about a Duke basketball player. But yes, Grant Hill deserved better.

Like Hill, Jay Williams was a third overall pick, selected by the Chicago Bulls in the 2002 draft. It appeared that the stars were aligned for J-Dub to orchestrate the Baby Bulls' march back to the Promised Land following the post-MJ dog days in the Windy City. Unlike Hill, Williams' career was literally wrecked before it could really take off. After just one woeful season with the last place Bulls, a motorcycle crash dashed any hopes of Williams ever becoming the leader of the storied Chicago franchise. Just like that, another career down the drain for a former Dukie.

Bobby Hurley shared a similar fate. The Sacramento Kings made the flashy point guard a lottery pick in 1993, but a near-fatal car crash midway through his rookie year closed the book on his effective playing days.

Other Duke duds have no such "excuse" for their miserable existence in the NBA. Trajan Langdon, a lottery pick of the Cavs in 1999, managed to play three full seasons in Cleveland, which I guess is a success in itself even though he was perfectly dismal in each of the three. Let me sum up the state of Langdon's basketball career by listing his three most recent teams: the Benetton Treviso, the Efes Pilsen, and the Dynamo Moscow.

Christian Laettner single-handedly dismantled several NBA franchises by turning out perhaps the least bang-for-your-buck ratio this side of former Hawks center Jon "Contract" Koncak.

Does anyone remember Cherokee Parks? He was a lottery pick in 1995. Parks reached his peak in the 1997-98 season with the Timberwolves when he poured in an astronomical 7.1 points per game.

Roshown McLeod also graces the list of Devils taken in the first round who did absolutely nothing at the next level. However, if McLeod attributes his lack of NBA success to being drafted by the Atlanta Hawks, I don't think anyone would blame him.

Shane Battier is a nice role player, but I'm not sure "nice role player" is what the Memphis Grizzlies had in mind for the No. 6 selection in the 2001 draft.

William Avery? I'm disgusted that I just mentioned his name in a piece of sports journalism.

The list could go on, but if JJ is reading this, I think he gets the point.

The point, of course, is that if JJ Redick isn't careful, he's going to go the way of these former Devils. And to say last week's DWI did not get his post-Duke career off to a promising start would be a gross understatement. Redick was also charged with unlawful use of highways for making an illegal U-turn. A U-turn is exactly what his basketball career will be taking unless he gets out of the car and into the gym.

If Redick is going to make it in the NBA, extracurricular activities such as driving under the influence are not an option. JJ is not a great athlete ... and that's being generous. So if the guy is going to survive in the league, he's going to have to work harder and longer than, say, um, LeBron James. His stroke will have to become even more pure than it was at Duke. After all, some previously unheard of LSU freshman absolutely put the clamps down on him at the NCAA regional in Atlanta, and JJ is not going to be guarded by college freshmen at the next level. If he gets any rhythm going from beyond the arc, coaches will throw the Gary Paytons and Ron Artests of the world to hound him.

Making matters worse, Redick also has a sore back. A recent physical in Orlando has raised question about his long-term health and has also forced him to cancel several workouts with other NBA teams. It's unclear how the DWI and the back issue will affect JJ's draft status, if at all, but he certainly is not heading into the draft with GMs salivating over him. But who knows, perhaps this sharpshooter can overcome these early troubles and avoid the fates of his fellow Duke alumni.

He might want to start by having a chat with Sir Elton Brand about how to do things both on and off the court.

Posted by Ricky Dimon at 11:32 AM | Comments (1)

June 19, 2006

NBA Finals: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics

He said, he said.

That's what the end of Game 5 came down to Sunday night for the Mavs.

Josh Howard and Avery Johnson said that Howard did not call the final timeout after the first of Dwyane Wade's two free throws with 1.9 seconds left in overtime. They said Howard was merely asking his coach whether they should call the timeout after the second free throw.

The officials said that Howard asked for the timeout twice, and they had to give it to him.

Dallas can complain about the disparity in free throws and fouls during the game, but even after the deluge of Miami strikes from the line, Dallas was still very much in the game with 1.9 seconds left.

If the timeout had not been taken, granted, then Dallas would have gotten the ball at half-court and had 1.9 seconds to try and make something happen. Only being down by one point, there were a ton of possibilities, especially with Dirk Nowitzki on your team.

That scenario didn't get a chance to play out because the officials decided that Josh Howard in fact did call Dallas' final timeout in between Wade's free throws.

It's kind of sad, in a way.

Not for Miami, for sure. They will take this win no matter how it came. Walking off the court and heading back to Dallas up 3-2 in the series is all they cared about.

It's kind of sad for the fans. Countless times in the fourth quarter and in overtime Dwyane Wade and Dirk Nowitzki put on a show. They met and exceeded expectations. They made shots that seemed impossible. They led their teams with a will to win.

Before Nowitzki fouled Wade in the lane with 1.9 seconds left, he had put the Mavericks up 100-99 with an unbelievable shot from the corner. Of course, Wade countered by driving around three Mavs on his way to the lane and the free throw line, where he would tie the game, and put the Heat up 101-100 with his 20th and 21st makes from the free throw stripe.

What was supposed to happen next was going to be squarely on Nowitzki's shoulders.

What was supposed to happen next was going to raise the level of intensity and gamesmanship in the series between its two biggest stars.

With 1.9 seconds left, Dirk Nowitzki was going to get a chance to send Dallas home with a 3-2 series lead, or at the very least, a quality shot at getting there.

No one wanted to see this game end with a half-court bomb that had no chance of getting in the basket. It was an anticlimactic ending to a game that deserved so much more. This was supposed to be one of the games that becomes an instant classic, the kind of game that years from now fans would talk about as the game that Wade and Nowitzki went toe-to-toe down to the final seconds.

It wasn't supposed to be the game that came down to a mistake like Josh Howard made, or, conversely, a game that came down to a questionable call by the officials in the waning seconds of an overtime game in the NBA Finals.

Dirk was supposed to get his shot.

Instead, Dwyane Wade and the Heat escaped with a victory and now head to Dallas needing only one more win to clinch the first championship in the history of the organization.

Instead, Dirk and the Mavs head back to Dallas needing to win back-to-back games to capture the Larry O'Brien trophy, still wondering what might have been had they gotten a chance to inbound from half-court with 1.9 seconds left.

It's the little things like this that make the difference in series, but at the same time, this little mistake cost everyone a chance to see if Dirk could match Dwyane just one more time.

Posted by Vince Grzegorek at 5:06 PM | Comments (1)

I Hate Mondays: Playoffs?!

"Playoffs? Don't talk about the playoffs!" exclaimed one-time Indianapolis Colts head coach Jim Mora at a post-game press conference.

Sorry, Jim, I don't mean to irk you, but I'm going to talk about the playoffs.

Every year, the months of May and June serve as the best sporting months of the calendar. You can count in the U.S. Open of golf and the French Open of tennis as part of a strong supporting cast, but it is typically the climax of the NHL and NBA seasons that carries the load.

This year, the main course has been outstanding.

Pundits and fans alike have been raving about the basketball postseason and rightfully so. The presentation has been awesome from top to bottom. Nine overtime contests, 15 games decided by two points or less, and four series that required a deciding seventh game.

The NHL playoffs have been every bit as exciting, particularly with parity rampant and a number eight seed crashing the Stanley Cup Finals.

Several ingredients make a postseason memorable: dramatic victories, unexpected upsets, unconscionable performances, and undiscovered heroes coming to light.

Starting with the first constituent, drama has been at the center of attention in both hockey and basketball. There has been no shortage of buzzer-beaters including Kevin Martin's spectacular delay of the inevitable with a bounce-bounce-in layup against San Antonio, LeBron James cutting up the Wizards a couple of times on a last shot and then Damon Jones putting the finishing touches on Washington, Kobe Bryant's last-second heroics to put the Phoenix Suns on the brink of elimination, and then Tim Thomas pulling them off the ledge and prolonging their stay in the playoffs with a game-tying three-ball two games later. Raja Bell's game-tying three-pointer with 1.1 seconds on the clock against LA's other team was also pretty good.

On the NHL side of things, they have their own version of the last-second winners as a total of 20 games called for overtime. Many included suspenseful finishes, such as the Colorado Avalanche trumping the Dallas Stars three times in the extra frame or the Buffalo Sabres accomplishing the same feat against the Ottawa Senators. Names like Andrew Brunette or Jason Pominville might agonize or amuse you, depending on which team you cheer for.

The NBA playoffs are traditionally more predictable than the NHL playoffs and although a Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks Finals is a minor surprise, the majority of the unexpected upsets have come on the ice.

For the first time ever in the NHL playoffs, the fifth, sixth, seventh, and eight seeds advanced out of first round in the Western Conference. The Colorado Avalanche quickly disposed of the Dallas Stars and then were quickly disposed of by the Anaheim Mighty Ducks. Untouchables such as the Detroit Red Wings and Ottawa Senators also finished far short of their expectations no thanks to the Buffalo Sabres and the Edmonton Oilers. At least the Red Wings can take solace in the fact that they were ousted by the eventual Western Conference champion.

While the Mighty Ducks and Sabres exceeded expectations, their work doesn't come close to the display of the courage by the Oilers. No one gave them a beggar's chance at the beginning of the playoffs, but they have played with the heart of a lion, outlasting the Red Wings twice in double-overtime, the Sharks once in triple-overtime, and most recently, staving off elimination in game four of the Stanley Cup Finals, once again in overtime.

The playoffs often serve as a coming out party for some lesser-knowns and the Oilers' roster has proven to be laced with unearthed gems such as Fernando Pisani, Shawn Horcoff, and Dwayne Roloson. You can add a few (somewhat) unheralded others to that group of Oilers who have emerged, such as Boris Diaw, Elton Brand, Cam Ward, and Daniel Briere.

It is hard to remember either an NBA postseason or an NHL postseason that was ever so complete.

Phil Mickelson blowing a lead at Winged Foot and Rafael Nadal continuing his ownership of the clay courts at Roland Garros wasn't too bad, either.

May and June and the rest of the months of the year mix like Mondays and me.

"I didn't know how to manufacture an opportunity, but I was determined that when a chance came my way, I would be ready." — Bob Dylan

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 4:14 PM | Comments (0)

June 17, 2006

All That Gary Glitters

When my father and I are in the cheap seats at the Meadowlands, nothing makes the old man happier than a New Jersey Devils goal. Not only because he's a stickler for happy moments — hence the photo albums in my childhood home that are thicker than unabridged Tolstoy — but because he absolutely adores the participatory joy that is Gary Glitter's "Rock and Roll Part 2."

First comes that thumping beat, sounding like someone converted a bass drum into a snare drum. Then come the guitars, leading up to the familiar refrain: "Dadada da dada da da/HEY!!!" My father, and the majority of the fans, thrust their fists in the air on the "HEY!!!" in unison, giving the post-goal celebration a pep rally feel.

"Dadada da dada da da/HEY!!!" Another thrust in the air from my father, who by now is bending his knees and doing a goofy little dance to the drum beat.

One more time: "Dadada da dada da da/HEY!!!" Up go the fists again.

My father loves the "Rock and Roll Part 2" ritual so much, he pumps his fists and screams "HEY!!!" during the subsequent verses of the song that slowly decrease in volume over the PA as the rest of the crowd settles back into their chairs. Only when the announcer exclaims "Devils' goal, scored by number..." does my father join the seated masses.

The Devils were one of the first teams to incorporate the 1972 glam classic into their arena rock repertoire. Today, it's hard to find a live sporting event that doesn't use it. "Rock and Roll Part 2" has surpassed the trumpet fanfare of "CHARGE!" as the most recognizable instrumental cue in sports, and its power is practically Pavlovian.

Case and point: one year some friends and I visited the Liberty Science Center in New Jersey. On display was a giant kiosk about percussion and sound waves, featuring several different types of drums. Everyone played their backbeat of choice — Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song," for example — until me and another knucklehead began banging out "Rock and Roll Part 2." Suddenly, people we had never seen before walked over, snagged an open drum, and joined in. By the time we reached the chorus, about 15 strangers all shouted "HEY!!!" in unison, in the middle of a science museum. It was surreal.

But that's "Rock and Roll Part 2." It's taken on a life of its own through sports. Now there are chants within the chant, with fans using the post-"HEY!!!" music to craft jingles like "we're gonna beat the hell out of you and you and you!" At the University of Maryland's basketball games, immediately after screaming "HEY!!!" the fans would add "YOU SUCK!!!" Administrators forbade the school band from playing the song. (No word if this is what forces Terps fans to burn down College Park during March Madness every season.)

"Rock and Roll Part 2" is part of the soundtrack to our lives as sports fans; yet if the NFL has its way, it's about to be erased.

All because the guy screaming "HEY!!!" is a convicted pedophile.

Gary Glitter, born Paul Francis Gadd, was found guilty on March 3 for committing obscene acts with girls ages 10 and 11 in the South Vietnam resort city of Vung Tau. His sentence, recently upheld, is three years behind bars. He'll be eligible for parole after serving one third of his term — considering time already served, he could be released in December. His conviction comes seven years after he pled guilty in Britain to 54 charges of possession of child pornography, serving two months in prison for them.

Okay, so the guy isn't exactly scout leader material, but I'd like to think here in America we're able to separate the personal from the professional. How else do you think Bill Clinton survived impeachment?

But some people can't ignore who's behind the microphone. Like those Dixie Chicks fans who burned all of their CDs after the Bush comments. Or the Michael Jackson fans who haven't purchased an album since his fifth nose job.

And now it's the NFL that can't hear the music through the sleaze.

League spokesman Brian McCarthy told E! Entertainment News that the NFL is discouraging teams from playing "Rock and Roll Part 2" this season in light of Glitter's latest pedophilic conviction. "Most of the teams understand the reasons, and ultimately, it's their decision, but we encourage them not to play it," McCarthy told E! Online.

This call to ban Gary Glitter from stadium speakers first came to my attention a few weeks back, when blogger Chris Lynch made this plea: "Stadiums and arenas [should] stop playing his damn song and stop putting money into his pocket by doing so. It was royalties from that damn song that made Glitter's globe-trotting pedophile lifestyle possible. Arena and team owners should be shamed into banning his damn song."

Looks like the NFL listened.

You know, for being the most powerful sports organization in the world, the NFL can be such a bunch of prissy, PC little pansies, can't they? This "No Fun League" business was bad enough before Janet Jackson delivered more breast than KFC on Super Bowl Sunday. Now, the league is cracking down on everything from touchdown celebrations to uniform tributes to the type of music artists you can play during games. I'm pretty sure we're only a few years away from the total extinction of tailgate parties and sideline cheerleaders (and boy, the latter would be bad news for Michele Tafoya).

My question is: why stop with pedophiles? If the NFL is soooooo concerned that its image as good, clean, wholesome family entertainment — you know, the kind where grown men try and beat the life out of each other for three hours — is threatened by the disgraceful musicians whose music fills its stadiums, why not also ban:

"Ring of Fire" by the late Johnny Cash. The Man in Black was arrested in October 1965 after U.S. Customs agents found hundreds of pills we was illegally smuggling into the country from Mexico. He pled guilty.

"Jump" and "Panama" by Van Halen. David Lee Roth was once busted in Central Park after buying a dime bag of pot.

"I Got You (I Feel Good)" by James Brown. The Godfather of Soul pled no contest to domestic violence charges after allegedly pushing his wife to the floor during an argument in January 2004.

Anything by The Rolling Stones. In 1967, Mick Jagger was found guilty of possession of amphetamines, while Keith Richards was found guilty for allowing cannabis to be smoked in his home.

Anything by Green Day. The band's singer Billie Joe Armstrong was arrested in Berkley in Jan. 2003 after he blew a .18 on the Breathalyzer, which was twice the California legal limit.

"All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight" by Hank Williams, Jr. Yep, the "Monday Night Football" theme song. According to Shelby County police in Tennessee back in April, Rockin' Randall Hank allegedly choked and verbally abused a 19-year-old Memphis hotel waitress after he unsuccessfully tried to kiss her. He was booked on assault to commit bodily harm. As far as I could tell, the whole thing was still pending, and in the meantime, ESPN has resigned Hank to sing before "MNF."

That's just the tip of the iceberg, folks. I'm pretty sure that after a prolonged investigation, the only musicians ethical enough for NFL stadiums are Marie Osmond and Taylor Hicks.

I demand that the league continue its noble crusade against indecent musicians singing perfectly decent songs in our stadiums.

And I do not expect a moment of rest until the only criminals associated with the NFL are mobbed-up bookies and the Dallas Cowboys.

"HEY!!!"

Greg Wyshynski is the Features Editor for SportsFan Magazine in Washington, DC, and the Senior Sports Editor for The Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. His book "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History" will be published in spring 2006. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 10:55 PM | Comments (2)

Lost in Space: Bill Lee Interview

Bill Lee's outspokenness and wit has overshadowed a fine pitching career in which he won 17 games three years running, and gave up only a walk every four innings in his heyday.

Sports Central caught Lee in the Washington, DC area at the American Film Institute's SILVERDOCS Film Festival for the first complete screening of the biographical documentary "Spaceman: A Baseball Odyssey" (produced by Brett Rapkin).

SC — Do you ever feel that in all the discussion of your quirky persona, the fact you were a competitor who had a very good pitching career at USC and in the majors gets lost?

Lee — That's what my film in this festival gets across. It's like I'm lost in space, as two different people — like one turns off and the other on. I was just at a plumbing fixtures convention — they had a radar gun there. I wasn't gonna let these plumbers beat me. One guy there was a 47-year-old who played minor league ball in the Toronto system. He got it up to 71 on the gun. I reached 60 mph. I factored in his age, and I beat him. To prepare for that, I threw rocks in his rock garden, and did leg stretches over a toilet to get two feet further on my throws.

SC — (jokingly) So the competitive fires have burned out?

Lee — I won 17 games three years in a row. The Red Sox have a Hall of Fame up in the private suites, the EMC Club. Bronze plaques of Jean Yawkey with those big glasses, Pudge Fisk with that nose of his. There are plaques of Dennis Eckersley, Bruce Hurst and Bill Monboquette. I won more games in a Red Sox uniform than Eck [Dennis Eckersley], [Bruce] Hurst, or [Bill] Monbouquette. I had fewer losses than they did. Other than Mel Parnell, I'm the winningest lefty in Red Sox history. What's worse than a pitcher who's a radical and a rebel? I helped form a group, The Save Fenway Park Society, to save Fenway Park when the Yawkey Trust wanted to build a new stadium. We fought them, and I cost them $286 million.

SC — In the book "Ball Four," which I kept on my nightstand one summer as a kid so I could open to any section and begin re-reading, Jim Bouton and others referred to you as "Orbit." Did "Orbit" give way to "Spaceman"?

Lee — "Spaceman" came from a teammate. I'm the most anti-space guy you want to meet — I always felt the space program was a ruse to take the focus off greater needs, such as poverty and the need for fossil fuel. But during Apollo 14 in 1972, the middle infielder John Kennedy couldn't get to his locker for all the reporters around me (I'd pitched a great game), and he had a date that night. He told the writers, "We got our own Space Man right here."

SC — In your days in the AL, batters like Frank Robinson, Harmon Killebrew, Willie Horton, and Frank Howard were around. Who were some of the toughest for you to face?

Lee — I didn't worry about Robinson much, but you nailed the rest of them. Horton, Howard, they hit it right down the middle. Killebrew I never had much trouble with — he liked to get his hand out and away, so I pitched him away so he couldn't get them into position, to take away his power. Pitching is about angles and physics — it's throwing a hitter's timing off. I'll be watching a game on TV with my wife, and I'll say, "If he gets that up five miles per hour more, and an inch away, an inch down, he'll get the batter to ground out into a double play, and it never fails"

SC — In light of that, in your years of spring training at Winter Haven, any anecdotes about Ted Williams, who was such a scientist as a hitter, but hated pitchers?

Lee — Williams says to me, "Bill, you're so dumb, you probably don't know why a curveball curves." I said "Bernoulli's Principle, the same thing that gave your airplane lift, and makes rivers run faster through narrow banks. And he's Belgian- I bet you thought he was Italian." He comes over and puts his arm around me. He liked people that challenged him, even though he wanted to be right. Neither he nor I were well-liked by the Boston pres, sort of the same persona, California kids. I was one of the last to see him alive. He was in a wheelchair at The Breakers in Palm Beach. It was just his former teammates, Johnny Pesky, Bobby Doerr, and Joe Cronin's daughter Maureen, and this retired general from the Marine Reserves. Six months later, he was dead.

SC — Are you at all emotionally attached to the Red Sox, in the sense that you were either fulfilled or relieved when they won it all in 2004?

Lee — You know, if anyone has a right to hate an organization, it's me. You can't take it out of my blood, though. Boston fans are the best in baseball — emotional, inherently tough. I'm a mathematician, sooner or later, it was going to happen. But it's strange that little Dave Roberts, a second baseman, changed the pivotal game. This for a team that tried to win without speed, defense, and pitching for so long. Yawkey built teams around the longball. I'll never forget this game when a fan was yelling at the Sox skipper in a Jamaican accent, "Put the jumper (pinch runner) in!" And Posada made a great throw on that [Roberts] play, maybe an inch to the third base side. Then we get a base hit up the middle, we're back in it.

SC — Do you feel if Tony Conigliaro hadn't gotten beaned and lost some of his vision, Baltimore wouldn't have won all those East Divisions and pennants?

Lee — Never thought about it. Everyone has injuries, you have to overcome them. Yawkey just insisted on winning with the longball. Tony C. wasn't really into baseball, though, I always felt he was using it as a stepping stone to become Ocean's Eleven or something. In '75, we had some young guys, guys who could run — [Jim] Rice, [Fred] Lynn, and [Rick] Burleson — [Carlton] Fisk, who could move for a catcher, along with the plodders, [Rico] Petrocelli and [Carl] Yastrzemski, and we put it together. I was injured late in the season, but came back to pitch in the World Series.

SC — Last question, and I thank you for your time. What was the favorite road city to eat in when you played in the American League?

Lee — Chicago, but players' palates weren't as sophisticated as they are today. Most of us were just out to get a meal. In Baltimore, we ate at O'Brickey's, in Kanas City, we ate at steak houses, Chicago. It sure wasn't Cleveland — they had the Triangle Diner and the Theatrical. We were there one Fourth of July and the streets were so deserted I thought the world had ended and I was the last survivor, like a scene out of Neville Shute's "On the Beach."

SC — Thank you again, Mr. Lee.

Lee — Thank you.

Posted by Bijan C. Bayne at 9:17 PM | Comments (1)

June 16, 2006

Sports Q&A: Big Ben's a Fathead

Arthur from Milwaukee, WI writes, "In the wake of Pittsburgh Steeler quarterback Ben Roethlisberger's motorcycle accident, should teams reserve the right to contractually obligate athletes to refrain from activities that could endanger the athletes' health?"

Do you mean activities like driving the fastest street-legal crotch rocket on the market without a helmet and with no license, like Roethlisberger? Or playing "chicken" on city streets against a full-sized sedan, like Roethlisberger? Teams will probably find it difficult to prevent athletes from engaging in dangerous activities, but they should be able to contractually state that if injury results from such activity, they will withhold payment. Legally stated, "if you want to get paid, don't do stupid things." Before his wreck, the official Steeler stance on the issue was "it's okay to ride a motorcycle, just not into a car."

Roethlisberger is lucky. He could have damaged his Super Bowl ring in his accident. But, he wasn't wearing it, probably because he didn't want to damage it should he have an accident. Apparently, he doesn't show the same concern for his body, which earned him that Super Bowl ring. He suffered extensive injuries, mainly to his head and face, but none that appear will keep him off the football field. Let's just hope he doesn't take a motorcycle to get there.

Anyway, chicks dig scars, and they dig a good motorcycle crash story, particularly when told by a Super Bowl-winning quarterback. So, assuming all the facial surgery and reconstruction goes well, Big Ben should be even more of a ladies' man than he already was.

Big Ben is lucky to be alive. A little more speed and a lot less luck and paramedics would have been peeling him off of the vehicle into which he crashed his bike . That would not have been a pretty sight, but it would have made a fantastic Fathead commercial. They advertise them as life-size, right? The wreck had concerned Steelers' fans asking, "Is Ben going to be okay?" while true, diehard Pittsburgh fans asked, "Will he be ready for the season opener against Miami?" In both cases, the answer is yes. Roethlisberger will be all right, and he'll be ready for the Dolphins on September 7th. And I guarantee he won't forget his helmet.

Roethlisberger's contract signed in 2004 does not include any stipulations prohibiting him from riding motorcycles. Last year, after Kellen Winslow's motorcycle accident, Steeler coach Bill Cowher warned Roethlisberger about the dangers of riding a motorcycle. Roethlisberger assured Cowher that he was a safe driver. However, he failed to mention that he had no operator's license, and that motorcycle daredevil Evel Knievel was his hero.

Rest assured that Cowher will issue Roethlisberger a stern lecture accentuated with lots of spittle on bike safety and common sense. And rest assured that, when the Steelers and Browns meet in Cleveland on November 19th, some joker will present Winslow and Roethlisberger with helmets and sets of training wheels.

What was Roethlisberger doing on a Japanese motorcycle anyway? As a 240-pound, 6'5" white man, shouldn't he be on a Harley Davidson? You know, the motorcycle that you don't ride head first. If Big Ben would have been on a Soft Tail, he would have been cruising and not flying through the street like a maniac. And if he happened to hit a car on a Harley, his worst injury would have probably been a bruise or two, not a smashed face.

Roethlisberger's accident will likely open the door for teams to include very specific language as to the types of activities that players will be forbidden from participating, and the financial consequences should a player be injured in such an activity. Specific language like, "You cannot ride a motorcycle."

Players fond of motorcycles can thank Roethlisberger for ruining their fun. But players can always ride at their own risk. Now, they'll just have to face a double jeopardy situation. If you ride your motorcycle and get caught, you'll be fined. If you ride, wreck, and hurt yourself, you won't get paid. Fair enough, in my eyes, especially for athletes that make millions. Giving up a motorcycle, or whatever dangerous activity excites you, is a small price to pay for the right to earn millions.

Phil from Rocky Mount, NC writes, "Former Duke basketball player JJ Redick was arrested Tuesday for driving while impaired in Durham. Redick is projected as a early-to-middle first round pick in the NBA's draft later this month. Will this charge affect his draft status?"

No, this shouldn't impact Redick's draft position, although he won't be able to drive himself to Madison Square Garden for the June 28th draft. Poor decisions behind the wheel shouldn't tarnish Redick's abilities on the basketball court, although they were extremely poor decisions. It's bad enough to drive after drinking, but to execute an illegal U-turn upon seeing a police checkpoint is inexcusable, and practically an admission of guilt. And the lacrosse stick found in the trunk didn't help matters, either.

Reportedly, Redick was unable to walk a straight line, but he did curl nicely around a pick from an assisting deputy and drain a fade-away 26-footer. He refused officers' requests for autographs, but did offer some fresh fingerprints instead. And, back at the busy Durham police station, Redick politely posed for snapshots. Actually, the pictures were just mugshots, but they turned out to look remarkably similar to his 2005-06 player photo. The story quickly made headlines, and a Chapel Hill, NC newspaper ran a story with the headline, "Blue Devil, Blew .11."

NBA teams interested in drafting Redick would be concerned were he an habitual offender. But Redick is no thug. Your run-of-the-mill thug would have assaulted a bouncer at the club, drove away drunk, and then, after noticing a police checkpoint, would have sped away and led police on a 130-mph chase. Then, once caught, the thug would have resisted arrest and used the old "Do you know who I am?" line.

Until now, Redick's worst offense was taking dives on questionable fouls and pushing off for open jumpers. Sure, he may have resisted arrest passively, with the U-turn trick (which never works, by the way), but he clearly did nothing that would cause NBA coaches and general managers to question his character.

If anything, NBA people should question his decision to make a U-turn within sight of a police checkpoint. That's akin to dribbling into a double-team and getting trapped in the corner; there's no escape. In his situation, Redick should have driven up to the police checkpoint, played it cool, handed over his license and registration, and waited for the cops to recognize him. If that didn't save him from a ticket, then a simple bribe from the soon-to-be-millionaire would have turned the trick. If you've ever been to Durham, you know cops are bought and sold as regularly as the crack and cocaine of which they're unable to rid the streets.

Currently, Redick is projected as a top-15 pick. That shouldn't change as a result of his DWI charge, and rightly so. In relation to the crimes committed by other professional or soon-to-be pros, Redick's brush with the law barely registers. For most NBA general managers making a draft pick with the future of their franchise at stake, basketball ability overrides criminal records, especially when that criminal record contains just one non-felonious misstep.

Redick may be penalized by some stingy GM, who, in contract negotiations, will say to Redick, "JJ, I'm concerned about this DWI. deal. I'm afraid we'll have to knock $100,000 off of your signing bonus." I'm sure Redick will manage. He'll just have to buy a bicycle instead of that $90,000 sports utility vehicle. And, on the off-chance that his NBA career fizzles, the Duke family will welcome him back despite his DWI. charge. There's always a spot open on Mike Krzyzewski's bench for a former guard who lacked the skills to make it in the pros.

Get Your Questions Answered!

Do you have a question or comment? Need your palm read or greased? Looking for a good cockfight? Warrants piling up? Need an organ harvested on the black market? Then send your question/police record/organ needed to [email protected]. You may get the answer you're looking for in the next column on Friday, July 7th.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 10:30 PM | Comments (3)

MLB's All-Stars and Jaded-Stars

American League

Catcher — Joe Mauer, Minnesota Twins

Mauer's numbers (34 R, 5 HR, 30 RBI, 6 SB, .386 avg) don't compare well to Ramon Hernandez of Baltimore and Victor Martinez in Cleveland, but he carries his team and has less hitting talent surrounding him. Plus, his defense is impeccable.

First Base — Nick Swisher, Oakland Athletics

David Ortiz is on the ballot at first base, but he plays there as rarely as Barry Bonds goes to Jeff Kent's house for dinner. Swisher has improved a bundle following a disappointing rookie year and his numbers (49, 17, 44, 1, .293) reflect that. His bat has kept the A's in the AL West.

Second Base — Jose Lopez, Seattle Mariners

While Richie Sexson and Adrian Beltre have struggled at the plate, Lopez has quietly amassed a team-leading 50 RBI, which have gone a long way to keeping Seattle in the hunt for the division.

Third Base — Troy Glaus, Toronto Blue Jays

A-Rod will win the ballot vote, but Glaus's numbers (50, 19, 50, 2, .266) are better. His average is worse than A-Rod's, but his slugging and OPS numbers are far higher. He's been a great pickup for a greatly-improved Toronto club. Hank Blalock has elevated his game this year in Texas and runs Glaus close.

Shortstop — Miguel Tejada, Baltimore Orioles

Tejada (52, 15, 49, 2, .331) has been accused of dropping off a notch or two, but he's still a class above the rest of the AL's shortstops. He brings more to the party than Derek Jeter, Orlando Cabrera, and Michael Young, and they are no slouches. The emergence of a resurgent Corey Patterson will help take the pressure off him to be the primary source of runs in Baltimore.

Leftfield — Manny Ramirez, Boston Red Sox

Ramirez may be a defensive liability, have a strange personality and run the bases like he has his shoes on the wrong feet, but boy can he carry a team for great stretches. Ortiz gets more hype these days, but the fear of pitching to Ramirez means Ortiz gets a chance to swing at something in the strike zone. After a sluggish start, Ramirez has returned to his excellent norm (35, 15, 40, 0, .303).

Centerfield — Vernon Wells, Toronto Blue Jays

Wells (36, 16, 49, 6, .324) has finally proved he's an elite player this year. His defense is outstanding, too. After years of coasting, he's taking the game seriously and it shows. He edges out Carl Crawford, Grady Sizemore, and Corey Patterson, who've all had outstanding first-halves.

Rightfield — Jermaine Dye, Chicago White Sox

Ichiro, Alex Rios, and Jonny Gomes have all had stellar starts to the season, but Jermaine Dye (36, 19, 47, 3, .302) is consistently underrated in Chicago. He has protection around him but he does nothing but produce at the plate day-in day-out. It's time to give the guy some love.

DH — Travis Hafner, Cleveland Indians

Okay, it's not on the ballot, but it should be. Hafner edges out David Ortiz as his slugging and OPS numbers are superior.

Starting Pitching — Jose Contreras, Chicago White Sox

With due respect to Johan Santana, Roy Halladay, and Mike Mussina, I'm giving the start to Contreras. The rotation in Chicago has rocked a bit after last year's heroics, but the one constant has been Contreras (2.62 ERA and 1.01 WHIP). His K numbers aren't as spectacular, but, as Crash Davis said, strikeouts are fascist. Within a year or two, we'll be checking the box next to Francisco Liriano's name. Unless we check Scott Kazmir first.

Closer — Jonathon Papelbon, Boston Red Sox

The Sox sure got some value with a fourth round selection for this guy in the 2003 draft. He has 20 saves and not one blown until June 9th — what's not to like? He's headed to the rotation eventually, and god help the AL East when he does. Honorable mention goes to BJ Ryan, who's done an almost perfect job in Toronto. Manny Rivera has been his usual self and poor Joe Nathan is 7-for-7 in Minnesota, where saves are as rare as rocking horse dung.

Reliever — Scott Shields, Los Angeles Angels

Why don't these guys get more recognition — and more pay? Shields has a WHIP of 0.86 in 33 innings! This guy is named to perfection — the impenetrable shield to Francisco Rodriguez. He does it year-in-year out with the minimum of fuss.

National League

Catcher — Michael Barrett, Chicago Cubs

The Cubs have stunk all season, but Barrett (25, 8, 29, 0, .295) has earned his corn. Catcher is a thin position in the NL and he edges out rookie Josh Willingham in Florida, who might move to first next year unless his defense improves.

First Base — Albert Pujols, St Louis Cardinals

Derrek Lee's injury ruined the two-horse race for best first baseman. Pujols is on the DL right now, but he'll still finish with monster numbers — again. His defense is impeccable and (scarily), he's still improving. There's no better player in the game. I hope his biggest slug of the year comes at Jeff Pearlman's head after what the former SI writer said on Slate.com. Kudos to Nomar in Los Angeles for a rebound season at a new position.

Second Base — Chase Utley, Philadelphia Phillies

Utley's numbers aren't spectacular (52, 12, 40, 6, .303), but he stands out from a mediocre pack. Dan Uggla in Florida deserves a mention for a great first half.

Third Base — Miguel Cabrera, Florida Marlins

The homers (9) might be down, but the production is still there on a young ballclub. In his third year, Cabrera is a veteran in the clubhouse and the pressure might have told but 44 RBI and a .339 average isn't to be scoffed at. He edges David Wright, who's defensively challenged and has more talent surrounding him.

Shortstop — Edgar Renteria, Atlanta Braves

Jimmy Rollins, Rafael Furcal, and Jose Reyes are basestealers who have shortcomings elsewhere in their games. Renteria just plays consistent ball and gets on base far more often than any of the aforementioned — at least this season. The Braves are struggling, but Renteria has held his end up.

Leftfield — Alfonso Soriano, Washington Nationals

Most likely he won't be in Washington past July and he didn't want to move from second base, but Fonz has put up big numbers (49, 23, 47, 15, .298) all year, despite hitting in cavernous RFK. He seems to be a bit of a cancer in the clubhouse and he often dogs it on the basepaths, but there's no denying the talent. Carlos Lee and Matt Holliday would not disgrace any ballot paper.

Centerfield — Jason Bay, Pittsburgh Pirates

I was in a fantasy draft a couple of months ago and had the fortune to land both Bay and Carlos Beltran with the ninth and 16th selections. A fellow GM scoffed at me for wasting prime picks on a "one-month wonder" (Beltran) and a "overrated fantasy tease" (Bay). Canadian-born Bay (45, 19, 52, 5, .308) gets the nod purely because he lacks a David Wright or Carlos Delgado to support him. Their numbers are virtually identical.

Rightfield — Lance Berkman, Houston Astros

Berkman predominantly plays first base, but appears enough in right to get the vote over Bobby Abreu, who's on a slight down year. Berkman (34, 18, 56, 1, .311) has led the Astros bats with little support. He might never replicate his 2002 numbers (42 homers and 128 RBI), but he's a solid pro who gets on with his job without fanfare.

Starting Pitcher — Pedro Martinez, New York Mets

There's no much left to say about Pedro (2.94 ERA, 0.94 WHIP). Every five days, he goes on the mound and blows away hitters. The K's are still there and he's unlucky to have only 6 wins. There were skeptics when Omar Minaya stole him away from Boston (me included) and we've been left with egg on our faces.

Brandon Webb (2.06, 1.07) has emerged from hibernation in Arizona to be the pitcher everyone suspected he could be after a great rookie season in 2003. With an upgraded defensive infield behind him, Webb has had a remarkable first half of the year, going 8-1. He'd be a worthy all-star. Tom Glavine, Bronson Arroyo, and Jason Schmidt have all had great first halves, also.

Closer — Tom Gordon, Philadelphia Phillies

There were doubters when the Phillies signed Gordon (1.61, 0.89) to a big contract to replace Billy Wagner. Gordon had done a solid job setting up Manny Rivera in New York for two seasons, but by September of both seasons, he was showing signs of wear at 38-years-old. All he's done since is nail down 18 saves with only a single save blown, to the Mets.

Reliever — Takashi Saito, Los Angeles Dodgers

31.2 innings and 41 K's with 4 saves is an impressive rookie season, even for a 36-year-old veteran from Japanese baseball. In 24 appearances, he's only allowed runs to score in four games. What more can you ask for?

These Boys Should Be Playing at Kauffman Stadium

Catcher — Jason Kendall, Oakland Athletics

A single home run in his last 776 at bats. He can't drive in runs and he clogs the basepaths. He is good at getting hit on his body armor though. All that for $11 million this year.

First Base — Darin Erstad, Los Angeles Angels

Why does everybody love this guy? His career slugging year is .541 and he plays power positions. He earns $8.75 million. With his numbers, you'd better be good in the clubhouse because you're stinking the diamond out.

Second Base — Marcus Giles, Atlanta Braves

It's a good thing Giles still knows how to get a walk because he can't remember how to hit.

Third Base — Adrian Beltre, Seattle Mariners

Paul DePodesta let Beltre walk and spent the money on JD Drew. Think Seattle would trade Beltre for Drew straight up?

Shortstop — Adam Everett, Houston Astros

It's a good thing Everett has a slick glove because he looks like he's hitting with matchsticks.

Leftfield — Luis Gonzalez, Arizona Diamondbacks

There's no nicer guy in the game than Gonzo, but he hasn't had a good year since 2003 and it's sad to watch his decline. No doubt that Jeff Pearlman has an opinion as to why he's suddenly so poor.

Centerfield — Juan Pierre, Chicago Cubs.

Pierre was supposed to be a sparkplug in Wrigley. He may have stole 20 bases, but his OBP is a derisory .284.

Rightfield — Shawn Green, Arizona Diamondbacks.

Green is hitting at .314, but of his 69 hits only 17 have got him past first base. He's an expensive roadblock.

Starting Pitching — Randy Johnson, New York Yankees

He's old, he's grumpy, and he's expensive. The numbers say this is his last year.

Closer — Chris Reitsma, Atlanta Braves

He's blown 4 saves and has an ERA of over 9. Atlanta fans are reduced to yearning for John Rocker.

Reliever — Kyle Farnsworth, New York Yankees

Farnsworth earns $5 million this year, but consistently fails to justify it. He's walked 18 batters in just 29.1 innings. Joe Torre is anxiously awaiting the arrival of Octavio Dotel.

Posted by Mike Round at 10:07 PM | Comments (0)

June 15, 2006

NBA Finals: 6:34 of Perfection

This is the stuff legends are made of.

Recovering from a sinus infection, hobbling on a banged-up knee, down 0-2 in the NBA Finals, down 13 points in Game 3 with only 6:34 to play.

This is Jordan playing against the Utah Jazz with the flu, draping himself over Scottie Pippen's shoulder just to make it to the sideline after scoring 38 points.

This is Byron Leftwich playing on a broken leg for Marshall, being carried by his linemen down the field after every play.

This is Curt Schilling winning Game 6 of the 2006 ALCS against the New York Yankees as his sock sopped up the blood from the surgically repaired tendon in his ankle.

This was 42 points (12 in the last 6:34), 13 rebounds, 2 assists, and 2 steals in Game 3 of the NBA Finals for the hobbled hero, Dwyane Wade.

Just when it looked like it was going to be another Dallas win and an 0-3 deficit for the Heat, Wade did his best Jordan/Leftwich/Schilling impersonation and rallied his team from a 13-point fourth quarter deficit.

Not bad for a guy playing on a bum knee.

This is the stuff legends are made of.

This is D-Wade's answer to LeBron's performance against the Pistons in the Eastern Conference Semifinals.

The similarities are all there.

His team down 0-2 after getting pretty much embarrassed in both contests. Everyone pretty much writing the series off. The opposition confident after dominating you for ninety-six minutes. Parade schedules are being made.

And then, things change...

Game 3 vs. the Pistons for LeBron James: 21 points, 10 rebounds, 10 assists, 4 steals, 1 block

Game 3 vs the Mavs for Dwyane Wade: 42 points, 13 rebounds, 2 assists, 2 steals

The comparison is easy for the two most electric, athletic, and talented players in the NBA. These are the two guys that are going to dominate the Eastern Conference in the next decade, and these are the two guys that are going to change the game again and move past all the "Jordan-like" and "Jordan-esque" comments.

We got to witness (no pun intended) one in the Eastern Conference Semifinals against the Pistons, and we got to witness the other one last night in the NBA Finals against the Dallas Mavericks.

However, this is just where the legend starts. It'll be the beginning of the tale, the part that sets up all the obstacles and boundaries that the hero overcomes later on. The early success that makes the latter all the more sweet.

Recovering from a sinus infection, hobbling on a banged-up knee, down 0-2 in the NBA Finals, down 13 points in Game 3 with only 6:34 to play.

All the drama, excitement, ability, determination, imagination, and heart that we should expect from one of the best two players in the league was on display for the world to see. Wade rescued the series for the Heat. He carried a team that was lacking a leader. He put an exclamation mark on a season that has seen him eclipse Shaquille O'Neal as the star of the team.

And after 6:34 of perfection, he even surprised Pat Riley, and made him a "believer."

That says something, considering how many legends Pat Riley has seen in his long NBA career.

The Miami Heat's comeback victory puts the team in a position to get back into this series before the series goes back to Dallas. There should be no doubt after Tuesday's performance that, even with a bum leg, Dwyane Wade will be on the top of his game.

After all, there's a difference between being "legendary" and merely being fodder for ESPN Classic reruns.

That difference is the championship, the ring, the trophy.

Looking ahead to Game 4, all heroics and comebacks aside, until Wade puts that ring on his finger or hoists the Larry O'Brien trophy in the air, he'll still only be a legend in the making. And that is what drives him and motivates him inside. And truly, every ounce of that determination inside, and every resulting ounce of on-the-court brilliance on the outside, that is the stuff that legends are made of.

Posted by Vince Grzegorek at 7:31 PM | Comments (0)

World Cup: Round 1 Observations

European Soil Does Make a Difference

Weird things seem to happen whenever a World Cup is held any place other than Europe. Big teams are sent home earlier than anticipated (see Argentina, France in 2002) and the common wisdom given is that the players just aren't comfortable outside of Europe. Well, so far, there seems to be some truth to that, as all the traditional powers have come out of their first games victorious (France's draw is the only notable exception) and appear well on their way to advancing to the knockout round.

No Shortage of Goals

That new ball moves, no doubt about it. Keepers hate it, but the fans and FIFA love it. The lack of spin causes the ball to knuckle and tail, infuriating the men who man the area between the posts. Goals scored by scored by Philipp Lahm, Torsten Frings, Tomas Rosicky, and Andrea Pirlo bear witness to that fact, and I would expect many more to come.

Africa Goes 0-For-5

Angola and Togo put out brave but non-threatening performances in their two losses. The Ivory Coast and Ghana have shown they have the talent to compete against the heavyweights (Argentina and Italy), but need to display they possess the mentality, as well. The lone African team not to lose still managed to disappoint, as Tunisia needed an injury time equalizer just to draw with lowly Saudi Arabia, who were bounced out of the last World Cup by a combined 12-0.

Upstarts Still Have Long Way to Go

The bar was set rather high for the United States, and the Ukraine wanted to show they belonged. Both failed to meet expectations, losing by a combined 7-0 to established powers Spain and the Czech Republic.

But There Were a Few Cinderella Stories

Trinidad and Tobago did the unthinkable and earned a draw with European heavyweights Sweden. Ecuador proved they don't need the altitude to wear down their opponents, defeating Poland in a stadium that was packed with Polish fans expecting an easy win.

The Superstars Are ... Where?

Going into the World Cup, the media ... hell, I saturated you with names like Ronaldinho, Thierry Henry, Andriy Shevchenko, Francesco Totti etc., and the truth is none of them have shown their full arsenal of tricks. Ronaldinho was pedestrian. Henry unimaginative. Shevchenko and Totti get a pass because of lingering injuries, but so farm this has not lived up to the billing of being a tournament of the stars.

Still, This Has Been a Great World Cup

Despite the absences of the superstars, the games have still been enormously entertaining. Matches have been wide open — heck, even Italy is trying to score. The average is almost two goals per game. I believe because of the added dimension the long range strike poses (thanks to that new ball) team are not content to just sit back and hang on for a victory. They must try to get that two goal margin, and it's making for some great TV. I only hope this trend continues for the rest of the World Cup.

Posted by Piet Van Leer at 7:24 PM | Comments (1)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 14

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson logged his series-leading 11th top-10 finish this year with a tenth at Pocono. However, he lost ground to the two competitors, Matt Kenseth and Tony Stewart, who likely will be his major challenges to the Nextel Cup title. Johnson now holds a 48-point lead over Kenseth.

"I don't fear Kenseth or Stewart nearly as much as I do the pit lane radar gun guy," says Johnson. "He busted me for speeding down his little stretch of the highway, and that may have cost me a few points. The pit lane speed patrol is just like your neighborhood parking enforcer: you know he's just doing his job, but you hate his guts anyway."

2. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth finished fifth in the Pocono 500, his ninth top-five of the year and third-straight, and trimmed 26 points off of Jimmie Johnson's points lead. Kenseth now trails by only 48 points.

"I could be like many athletes and thank God for my good fortune," says Kenseth, "but that would be hypocritical. We race on Sunday's, don't we? But if the Church of Scientology wants to pay me to advertise their brand of religion/science fiction on my car, I've got no problem with it. They sponsored a late-model car last Saturday night in California. I figure if I can advertise a book by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard on my car, then the least they can do for me is put a giant 'Dewalt Tools' decal on one of their spaceships. And speaking of L. Ron Hubbard, that's a great name for a NASCAR driver."

3. Tony Stewart — Stewart served notice that his injured shoulder will no longer hold him back, producing a gutsy third-place finish in Pocono. Last week in Dover, Stewart lasted only 38 laps before being relieved by Ricky Rudd.

"I still firmly believe I can defend my Nextel Cup title with one hand tied behind my back," says Stewart. "But just to set a safe example, I plan to drive with two hands from now on. I've got no use for relief drivers anymore, so I've kicked Ricky Rudd to the curb. But I figure after a third at Pocono, I'm ready for a win. And that means I'll need a relief climber to scale the catchfence to celebrate my victory. So, we're holding tryouts at the fence separating Laredo, Texas from Mexico. No prior experience necessary, and no identification needed."

4. Mark Martin — Martin chose to remain on the track during Sunday's final caution, foregoing adjustments to a loose No. 6 Ford for track position. The decision backfired, and Martin finished 17th at Long Pond, his first result out of the top eleven since Talladega five races ago. Martin holds third in the points, 238 behind Johnson.

"We were running eighth when Jeff Gordon slammed the wall," says Martin. "Had he not crashed, we were looking at a top-10 finish. That No. 24 really got tore up. Was it the biggest accident in the state of Pennsylvania? Not at all. That would have to be the motorcycle crash of Big Ben Roethlisberger, quarterback of the world champion Pittsburgh Steelers. Big Ben apparently passed with flying colors in a companion course to the 'Richard Petty Driving Experience,' known as the 'Kellen Winslow Driving Experience.'"

5. Jeff Burton — Burton scored his eighth top-10 in his last nine races, leading 11 laps on his way to a ninth at Pocono and another solid day for Richard Childress Racing. Burton was on pace for a possible run in the top five, but a drive-through penalty for pit lane speeding on lap 167 set him back.

"Hey, if NASCAR is going to penalize us with drive-throughs," Burton complains, "then they should put a Taco Bell or a Wendy's somewhere on pit lane. Ask any driver. You can really work up a healthy appetite cursing the names of NASCAR officials. Can't NASCAR take a page from the likes of professional wrestling and sanction one race with a 'no disqualification, anything goes' stipulation?"

6. Kasey Kahne — Take away an unscheduled green-flag pit stop for a flat tire near the halfway point Sunday, and Kahne's eventual seventh-place finish could have been even better. Take away the six drivers that finished ahead of him, and Kahne would have probably won the race. As it is, Kahne moved up a spot in the points to fifth, 279 out of first.

"I'll take a seventh-place any day, especially if she's the seventh-place finisher in the Miss Hawaiian Tropic Bikini Contest," says Kahne. "But enough about my personal life. Let's talk about my paint scheme for this Sunday's 3M Michigan 500. My car will sport art work promoting Adam Sandler's new film Click, opening June 23rd at a 45-screen theater complex near you. Once again, Sandler's performance is creating Oscar buzz. No, not Academy Award Oscar, but what Oscar Mayer sandwich meat goes best with a Sandler performance."

7. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. — Earnhardt was in position to place the No. 8 Budweiser in a top-five finish, but trouble in Pocono Raceway's difficult "Tunnel Turn" spoiled those aspirations. Earnhardt veered out of the groove on a lap 146 restart and dropped back to 12th position from third. He ended up 14th, and fell two places in the points to sixth, 295 behind Johnson.

"What a frustrating day," says Earnhardt, "but not as frustrating as hearing Darrell Waltrip call me 'June Bug.' Hey, Darrell, I'm not 8-years-old, I'm 31. Next time, I'm going to take you out behind the Hollywood Hotel and give you a good country whupping."

8. Denny Hamlin — Hamlin won the pole on Friday, then overcame a blown tire that dropped him to 40th to win the Pocono 500 in his first Nextel Cup race at the Long Pond 2 1/2 miler. The win vaulted Hamlin two spots to ninth in the points standings — he is now 463 out of first.

"I did it all for the rookies, the rookies, so you can take that cookie, and stick it up your..." says Hamlin. "Sorry, I got a little carried away there. Does anyone remember Limp Bizkit? Anyway, even with a blown tire, I still won the race handily, by 1.3 seconds, which, in an event in which cars go 180 miles per hour, is a large margin. I guess it would be comparable to winning a soccer match by three goals, much like the Czechs over the USA."

9. Kevin Harvick — Harvick salvaged a 13th-place result in Pocono despite a car that never could get a full handle on the tricky tri-oval in the Long Pond mountains. Adjustments to remedy the loose handling conditions left the car tight, and vice-versa. Harvick did, however, maintain his eighth position in the points, and is 430 out of first.

"It's a big month for NASCAR," says Martin. "We're going head-to-head on television with World Cup soccer. We realize our fans are just as passionate as soccer fans, and, if given the choice, NASCAR fans would choose racing, whether it be car, boat, dog, horse, or gerbil racing. And they like their futbol with a football."

10. Greg Biffle — Biffle battled brake problems all day, then suffered a flat tire caused by debris from Jeff Gordon's crash on lap 189, but still managed a sixth-place finish to inch closer to Chase territory. Biffle remains twelfth in the points, 503 out of first, but only 27 behind 10th-place Kyle Busch.

"I've got two Hendrick drivers in my way," says Biffle. "Gordon and Busch. I could either pass them, or wait until they quit, like their teammate Brian Vickers. Who on Earth gives up a ride at Hendrick to pursue other options? Well, Brian, don't let the door hit ya' where the good Lord split ya' on the way out. And rumor has it that Casey Mears is in line to replace Vickers. That will be fun to see — Mears and Busch on the same team. They should make Ryan Newman and Rusty Wallace look like best friends."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 6:42 PM | Comments (0)

June 14, 2006

NBA Finals: A Hunting We Will 'Zo

Thankfully, Alonzo Mourning has never complained, as Latrell Sprewell once did, that he doesn't make enough money to feed his family.

With a one-year contract worth just over $1 million from the Miami Heat, Mourning instead paints himself as the portrait of a win-hungry veteran sacrificing cash for the cause. He's said all along the only reason he's playing is for an NBA championship.

Luckily for 'Zo, the Toronto Raptors are still paying him anyway, and while they're nowhere near the NBA Finals, their $4 million for this year (and the $4 mil for next) should put plenty of chopped sirloin on the table for any little 'Zos and, of course, the Zoette.

So, on the surface, it looks like a perfect plan. There's only one problem: Mourning will need the better part of that absurd and undeserved endowment for a future purchase, since the only way he's getting a ring is if he wins an eBay auction.

Mark Cuban may well be one of the most detestable figures in professional sports (unless you're a Dallas fan), but even though you could accuse the Mavs owner of trying to buy a ring in his own way, at least none of his players think they're worthy of being paid twice. Okay, well, at least none of them are actually being paid twice.

Thankfully, it appears less and less likely 'Zo will be getting his desired hardware, proving sometimes there can be justice, even when it comes to millionaires.

Of course, it's not that dire for the big man from Georgetown. I'm sure that if 'Zo asks really nicely, Shaq or Pat Riley (his personal super fan) will let him wear one of theirs. Maybe he could even borrow it for a night or two and hit the Jack in the Box drive-thru shining out the window of his Escalade.

But how long could that be fun?

No, that won't work at all. Despite the Heat's obvious abilities and the considerable feat of beating Detroit in five games, Dallas seems to have no intention of losing this uninspired edition of the NBA Finals, so Mourning's going to have to come up with Plan B for a long-term solution.

Trying to blackmail Kobe Bryant might work, because we certainly know he likes to keep people quiet by giving them rings. But then again what could you possibly blackmail him with at this point?

Playing poker with Michael Jordan could also prove fruitful, but only if you can rack up enough debts that he can't just cut a check. And really, how much time does 'Zo have?

Maybe the best bet is just to wait until Bill Russell nods off one day in the stands and then slide one off his fingers. Oh, come on ... like he's going to notice. Ah, but that's just dishonest, and if you can't win one legitimately, you should at least come by it honestly.

So, Alonzo, I guess the only way for you to get the shine is to spend the cash. Yeah, I know it's a lot of money, but hey, if you can't afford it all on your own, you could always go halves with Karl Malone.

I hear he's been hunting for a while.

Posted by Aaron Miller at 7:21 PM | Comments (0)

World Cup: Hooked in My Sleep

It's time for World Cup mania. As a kid, I first bought into the global event through my love affair with GameBoy's World Cup '94, a game I played in the car en route to my first Notre Dame game. The crazy kicks that would fly all over the field or knock a goalie 20 feet in the air had me hooked. Turns out, the real game wasn't as exciting, but I couldn't turn down a chance to join a few other casual soccer fans in a viewing of Brazil and the world's finest athlete, Ronaldinho, taking on Croatia.

Yes, the world's finest athlete. I know there are a lot of natural soccer haters that bristle at that statement. What about LeBron James, they ask. What about Kobe Bryant or Albert Pujols, or any other athlete of the week? Imagine a league that combined the great athletes from the NFL, the NHL, the MLB, and the NBA — would we have that one great, dominant athlete? No, but soccer has that in Ronaldinho.

I'm firmly entrenched on the Ronaldinho bandwagon, as I only had my ticket punched a year ago after witnessing a few of his highlights. He was doing things with a soccer ball that couldn't be recreated in movies with the best of stuntmen. You can have a white guy that looks like Rob Schneider jump from one end of a basketball court to dunk in the other hoop and have LeBron can sink turn around 75-footers, but no one not named Ronaldinho could pull off some of those moves.

If it wasn't enough for me to tune in to watch the world's finest player, I had to test a theory. When I was talking to ESPN.com's sexiest female athlete of 2004, Heather Mitts, she said that after watching just one of his games, fans would be hooked. I figured the best way to test this method was with a running diary (in honor of the sport, I decided to count up along with the game clock).

3:04 — Ronaldinho touches the ball, immediately eliciting a group of "ohhhs" from the crowd. He dances around two defenders, and creates an early chance for Brazil. I could stop this thing here, I'm already sold on him as a player, you know I'm going to buy stock in whatever the Brazilian is selling (this is a good financial mantra to live by), but I continued on nevertheless. And even though the outcome is pretty much set, I'm still impressed by his game.

7:18 — Commentator: "How do you get 11 superstars to play together...? Do nothing." The way he set this up, I was expecting a punch line a little stronger than something you'd hear on "Last Comic Standing." Actually, "do nothing" is a great strategy to win that competition. While people get hurt for their terrible jokes, the goal of the "do nothing" approach is simply to let the others fall apart. It's like bidding $1 on the "Price is Right." Everyone knows the middle-aged housewife understands that the armoire costs more than $1, but she ends up winning as her overzealous competition takes the bidding to the thousands.

As far as the set up goes, I honestly thought he was going to pass a lame soccer joke. And I would've respected the hell out of him if he did. There seems to be a new trend starting in some areas of sports broadcasting where play-by-play announcers are completely removed from the broadcast.

One step better would be the announcers who simply crack jokes during the game. Not continuously, there would still be periods of silence, and the announcers would have to go all the way with this. It's not like slipping Dennis Miller into the broadcast booth. All hopes of a professional broadcast would have to be left at the door, but it has some potential. I recommend starting with New York Knicks games.

Of course, the "do nothing" strategy would be immensely entertaining in a place like New York. How much would the Knicks be affected by the "do nothing" approach? Could it be worse than last season? It's not like they will be better anytime soon, especially with Isiah Thomas calling the shots, so why not at least test the theory on them next year?

22:42 — I realized I'm supposed to be watching this soccer game. Brazil seems like a good team, but I only think that because it's been burned into my brain by those who know much more soccer than I do. I'm not one of those angry, uber-patriotic members of the media who adopt the whole "if I don't understand it or America doesn't win, it's less of a sport than stacking cups" mentality. I'm fully aware of the greatness of soccer and understand full well that I just don't understand the game enough to be truly captivated by it other than once every four years.

It's like catching up with the only relatives you really like at a family reunion.

This is probably the most brilliant piece of analysis I've heard while watching a sports broadcast. It seems so simple, yet is far too complex for any coach to try. They seem cooler than you remember, and it makes you wonder why you don't see them that much anymore. This leads to the resolve to change the situation and make more of an effort to see your new favorite relatives. Like a New Year's resolution, things simply don't come together and you go through the whole song and dance at the next reunion. (If anyone in my family is reading this, you are the favorite relatives I'm talking about.)

23:15 — One of the announcer's just revealed that Croatia's coach has a son on the team, and he's the one that gets all the attention. It's like youth sports all over again, only I think there's some potential in this. I'm going to call Vince McMahon and have him create the XSL, in which parental politics will play as big a role as the on-field action. Issues like "whose turn it is to bring the orange slices" will be some of the key storyline in the part reality show, part sport.

41:00 — Brazil scores. This is where soccer gets cool, as their entire bench erupts like they were a hapless mid-major that just knocked off a UConn team stacked with future pros with a half-court buzzer-beater.

45:00 — At halftime, I fell asleep.

56:00 — I wake up briefly, then fall right back asleep.

81:00 — I finally wake up, with the score the same and nothing really changing. I feel bad for falling asleep while I was trying to keep a running diary, because it wasn't really the game's fault. I worked an 18-hour day the day before, I was running on empty as it was, I don't know, I just feel like soccer didn't get a fair shot.

85:00 — It isn't a soccer game until a fan hits the field. Now it's soccer, as the fan was escorted off the field a few pockets of Croatian fans set off some flares and began to get antsy. This prompted the announcer to say "you don't see this in America," which got me thinking. I would like this to change, and if I had the resolve I would make sure that all thundersticks would be replaced with flares for the rest of the NBA Finals.

87:00 — My girlfriend shows up and asks whose winning the "football" game as if she's some sort of futbol aficionado. Sure, she played the sport for nearly 10 years. Then again, her career was ended in high school as she tore her quad in a game of "Red Light/Green Light" in practice. I think what I'm trying to say is you can't call soccer football unless you were born in a different country.

Believe it or not, Brazil held on with a 1-0 win, something you rarely see in the high-scoring sport of soccer. Still, you have to appreciate it for what it is. And hey, it's less boring than NASCAR.

The Sports Gospel According to Mark is sponsored by BetOnSports.com. All readers get a 10% signup bonus at BetOnSports by entering "Sports Gospel Promo" as the promo code. Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on SC. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].

Posted by Mark Chalifoux at 7:20 PM | Comments (1)

The Great Disappearing League

Signs your professional sports league is in decline:

1) The labor stoppage that cancels a full season of play gets about as much media coverage as the opening of a local Walgreens.

2) When play begins the next year, your league signs a television contract with ... the Outdoor Life Network.

That's right, die-hard hockey fans. In case you haven't noticed (and judging from the TV ratings, you haven't), the NHL has hitched its wagon to the most obscure sports network this side of RodeoNet, and the league's playoff games drew audiences usually reserved for re-runs of Emergency Broadcast System tests.

If these had been real sporting events, you would have been directed to a real network — one that doesn't require a satellite dish the size of a Kia.

As the Stanley Cup Finals rage on, hockey fans are left to conjure up misty memories of the days when hordes of non-hockey fans would clamor to arenas and television sets nationwide to make the game's biggest event one of the highlights of the sports calendar.

But last year's lockout dealt the league, its players and the rag-tag band of face-painters who still admit to being fans a body blow. Gone are the days when anybody outside the hardcore hockey fan base would bother to change the channel from one of the Big Three to re-learn the rules of the game for three weeks. Heck, these days they can't even find the channel.

Perhaps the clearest statement of how bad things have gotten is the league's new marketing slogan: "We believe in hockey." Is this a fill-in-your-own-joke challenge? Are my choices listed A-D below the slogan?

Hockey fans have always been an eccentric bunch. There's no such thing as a "casual" hockey fan, which bodes well for the league as it tries to regain the national footing it enjoyed just a few years ago when it threatened to pass the NBA in popularity.

The sort of fans who call an old Mario Lemieux jersey "business casual" will no doubt keep the turnstiles spinning, but the NHL will eventually have to attract a demographic other than the guy who tunes in for the BassMasters final and sticks around for Canadiens vs. Sharks, thinking it's more of the same.

Until then, however, the combination of hockey and rodeo coverage on the OLN will ensure that it continues to lead all networks in tobacco stains and bring up the rear in teeth. And sports fans from coast to coast will continue asking the question: Who, exactly, cares about hockey?

Besides the folks who are making it out to the games, is there an actual audience for the hockey highlights on ESPN (you know, the network that decided it wasn't worth it to renew its contract with the league for another season)?

A second, more startling question, is this: are we watching the gradual dissolution of a major sports league? If the NHL's first round of playoff games are producing television ratings of 0.8, while the Rolex Equestrian Championships and "The Villages Shoot Your Age Championship" (golf) are garnering ratings of 0.9 and 0.8, respectively, can we really call hockey a sport with a future (or a present, for that matter) on the national level?

And if not, is there a reason that I can open the sports section of my hometown newspaper (or any other daily sports section) and find an illustrated hockey recap on page three? In a city (San Diego) that doesn't have an NHL team? If you're as tired of reading the previous 600 words about hockey as I am of writing them, is there a reason your local and national media continue to keep you updated on the game's progress?

This is a league that is dying of asphyxiation. The NHL is aching for the mainstream exposure that ESPN's coverage package provided and the sport's professional future (at least in the United States) may depend on whether a major network is willing to do the heavy lifting to resuscitate it.

God knows the dentally-impaired OLN crowd isn't the answer. They're not watching, anyway — it's grunion season, doncha know!

Signs that your professional sports league is in decline:

3) See column above

Posted by Zach Jones at 7:07 PM | Comments (4)

June 13, 2006

World Cup: Reality Czech For USA

I watched the entirety of the USA/Czech Republic game, and I've been watching a lot of the post-match analysis from the 3-0 drubbing, and I can't believe what denial the whole country is in.

The end result was not about a lack of heart. It wasn't that they were rusty. It's not they were flat. They very well might have been all of those things yesterday, but in the end that wasn't the difference. Plain and simply, the United States weren't as good as their adversaries.

The Czech Republic is one of the best teams in Europe. They have international superstars throughout their roster. If you matched up the Czech Republic and the United States starting lineup position for position, every check mark would go to a Czech.

That's not to say the United States didn't have a chance yesterday. The Czechs lost to a much less-talented Greece side in the 2004 Euro semifinals, and the United States did beat Portugal in the 2002 World Cup opening game.

But there is a reason Brazil has won this thing five times and is favored to win it for an unprecedented sixth — they have unquestionably the most talent in the world on their team. Same thing goes in most sports — if you matched up the Yankees and the Royals, no one's picking the Royals. And that is about the talent disparity the United States is dealing with.

Pavel Nedved is a former European player of the year and stars with Juventus. Arsenal just paid a lot of money for Tomas Rosicky, who before then was the center piece of Borussia Dortmund. Jan Koller is one of the better strikers in Europe. The United States' most accomplished players are Damarcus Beasley, who is a substitute at PSV, Landon Donovan, who failed miserably at Leverkusen, and Brian McBride, who was the MVP ... at Fulham.

I don't mean to dump on the U.S. players, they're all good players, just not up to the level of the Czechs. And there is nothing wrong with that, but the expectations were set so high in this country that they bordered on delusional — people thinking the Americans can get to the semis or even the final. This group is unbelievably difficult, and it will still be an accomplishment if they can get out of it, let alone advancing past there.

Did the United States play well on Monday? Absolutely not, but it's not as simple as they came out lacking passion. The first goal was a mistake — okay, that's a bad start. But the second goal? That was a fantastic 35-yard strike from one of the better midfielders in the world. I grant you, it was a bad clear, but it's not like Oguchi Onyewu headed it straight into the six-yard box. I guarantee if Claudio Reyna struck a cracker like that, no one would be analyzing what an awful clear it was from the Czech Republic.

As for the third goal, that's what happens when you are forced to play three at the back. The Czechs saw the opening in the center of defense, Pavel Nedved fed Tomas Rosicky and he exploited the dead spot down the middle and away he went for the third goal.

We'll see what happens against Italy, but if the Americans are in a position to just win the game at the end, it will be an improvement. Italy is even better than the Czechs, despite what the FIFA rankings would have you believe. And I know a lot of the prognosticators will come out and say the U.S. needs to change their attitude and believe they can win, but the bottom line is talent generally wins out in the end, and once again, the U.S. will find themselves severely undermanned in that department.

Posted by Piet Van Leer at 9:16 PM | Comments (0)

Detroit Tigers: Contenders or Pretenders?

The city of Detroit and the state of Michigan has gotten used to great basketball and hockey teams with the Detroit Pistons and Detroit Red Wings establishing themselves as annual contenders for earning championship hardware.

But of late, the Detroit Tigers had joined the Detroit Lions as a franchise in disarray. The Tigers had as much hope of being afloat in the baseball voyage that would have them contending for a playoff berth as the SS Minnow had of returning safely and on time from their "three-hour tour."

There have been many "Skippers" and more "Gilligans" than Tiger fans can or care to remember.

Professors of baseball history have tried to figure out how this storied franchise could have fallen so far and so fast from their string of contenders of the late 1970s through the late 1980s. The team hasn't been above .500 for the season, let alone been in a playoff hunt.

This year's edition of the Detroit Tigers has been anything but a rudderless baseball ship. This years Tigers team has already strung together five winning streaks of at least five wins (6, 5, 6, 7, 8), while only experiencing one losing streak as long as four games.

Detroit Tigers Prodigal Son Returns

Baseball fans around the country have probably been wondering, "who are these guys?"

Jim Leyland became "one of these guys" when he was named the 36th manager in Detroit Tigers history on October 4, 2005, earning an opportunity that many thought he would have begun his managing tenure back in the early 1980s.

Just when it looked like he was an heir apparent for piloting the big league team that originally signed him as a catcher, employed him as a minor league coach for a year, and manager for 11 years, Detroit hired some guy named Sparky Anderson. The moved paid off for the Tigers' organization, but sent Leyland looking for his major league managing opportunity elsewhere.

After 14 years of managing at the major league level with three different teams (Pittsburgh Pirates, Florida Marlins, and Colorado Rockies), including a World Series championship with the Florida Marlins in 1997, Leyland eventually traded the managerial side of baseball in for that of major league scout with the St. Louis Cardinals.

Now, Tiger fans are thrilled that when Leylands' former boss while he was manager for the Marlins, Dave Dombrowski, came calling for him to fill the manager's job in Detroit. The Tigers' version of the prodigal son said "yes" and returned to the Tigers organization..

After a recent stretch against the New York Yankees, Boston, the Chicago White Sox, and Toronto which saw the Tigers go 5-8, while giving away late inning leads in five of those losses, Detroit has won 13 and lost 17 against teams with a .500 record or better. The gives the Tigers a win percentage against .500 or better teams of .403.

Against those teams under .500, their record stands at 29-7, which includes the 13th-inning win against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays Monday night. The equates to a win percentage against these sub-.500 teams of .806.

Leyland has consistently downplayed the early success and continues to preach "nothing matters until October" when they finish the regular season. But Tiger fans are leaving that one game at a time talk to the "Skipper."

But Leyland must do this. His team is filled with players who must learn what it takes to win.

He has young flame-throwers like Justin Verlander, Jeremy Bonderman, and Joel Zumaya, all of whom keep the radar gun technicians busy with pitches that singe the plate near or over 100 miles per hour.

Just ask Troy Glaus, third baseman for Toronto, who recently saw, or heard, five pitches of 100 mph or more in one at bat against Zumaya in the final game of their series against Detroit on Sunday.

Baskin Robbins or Rotisserie Chicken?

Along with the young heaters, the Tiger staff has the veteran Kenny Rogers, who has helped lead the young pitching staff with his experience and guile on the mound. Forget about the Kenny Rogers Roasters jokes.

Rogers is more Baskin Robbins than rotisserie chicken.

It seems Rogers, has more pitches than Baskin Robbins has ice cream with his multitude of pitch selections. Fastball, curve, slider, cutter, change-up, different release points, different speeds, different locations, over and over and over.

So far, Rogers has served up sweet results for the Tigers and his mantra has been scooped up by the youthful Tiger pitching staff.

All of these factors have helped create the first buzz of a contending team at Comerica Park, the relatively new home of the Tigers.

Attendance is up, especially with the exits of the Detroit Red Wings in the opening round of the Stanley Cup playoffs and the Detroit Pistons in the NBA Eastern Conference Finals. Those two teams had the best regular season record in their respective sports. Ho-hum, business as usual for their regular season success.

The best record in baseball, belonging to the Detroit Tigers? For Tigers fans, that is nothing to yawn about. It doesn't matter that this is June.

After the extra-inning win against the Devil Rays tonight, the Tigers will play nine more games in a row against teams with sub-.500 records. Then the next "exam" is scheduled, with summer school subjects being supplied by the interleague opponents St. Louis and Houston.

By the Numbers

When you look at the balance of the schedule, the Tigers play 58 of their remaining games against teams currently below .500 and will take the field for 40 games against teams that have records, as of June 12, at or above .500.

If Detroit continues to play the pretenders (sub-.500 teams), over the next 58 games the way they have through the first 36 games with those teams, winning at a clip of just over 80% (.806), the Tigers would win 46.7 of those games. I will round down to 46.

Against the contenders, the numbers have been much more modest, with Detroit winning just above 40% (.403).

Should the Tigers continue to play at the same win percentage against the teams at .500 or above, with 40 games left with teams that fit that criteria, they would win 16 of them.

Add the two win totals together, 46+16 gives them 62 wins in the last 98 games on the schedule. Combined with the 41 wins the Tigers currently have and you have 103 victories.

If there was ever a game of and for numbers, it is baseball, so by the percentages, the Tigers would seem to be contenders for sure.

Final Regular Season Exams Begin in August

For all of these numbers to mean anything, Detroit must continue to play well. If they do, August 11 should be the beginning of the final regular season examination schedule for the Tigers.

On that date, Detroit will begin a 20-game stretch of games against the White Sox (3-A), the Red Sox (3-A), Rangers (4-H), Indians (3-A), and finally three games at New York in the House the Ruth Built.

What would Leyland have to say about all this hypothesizing? Probably something like, "don't give me any of that about numbers and wins for games we ain't even played yet!"

Tiger fans haven't been able to do this for almost two decades. Let them have some fun. They deserve it.

Contenders or pretenders?

I say the Detroit Tigers are contenders.

Now, if they could just do something with those Lions. Wait, let them work on one miracle at a time in Motown.

Posted by Tom Skinner at 6:28 PM | Comments (1)

June 12, 2006

NBA Finals: Fait Accompli?

Only two teams have ever come back from an 0-2 deficit in the NBA Finals to win the championship.

That is the onus that is on the Miami Heat as they head back to Miami for Game 3 on Tuesday.

You're going to lose this series unless you make history.

That's no short order.

After losing a tight contest in Game 1, the Heat were blown-out, embarrassed, shellacked, and run out of the building in Game 2 on Sunday night.

Dwyane Wade looked frustrated, Shaq looked helpless, and Pat Riley looked baffled and confused.

The Mavericks dominated the game, save a late fourth quarter mini-rally during garbage time by the Miami bench.

So, it comes down to this for the Miami Heat entering Game 3 — make history or go home. If they lose on Tuesday night, the series is over. Yes, the Mavs will still need to win one more game to make it official, but the series will be over. If they win, however, suddenly they are just one more win away from tying up the series and making this 0-2 deficit seem like a distant memory.

It's amazing how quickly a series can turn, and it's amazing how much of it rests on confidence and momentum.

Look at the Eastern Conference Semifinals between the Pistons and the Cavs. The Pistons demolished Cleveland in the first game, and were well on the way to doing the same in Game 2 until a late fourth quarter mini-rally during garbage time by the Cleveland bench. A little momentum, a little confidence.

Suddenly, the Cavs win back-to-back-to-back games to take a 3-2 series lead.

Sound familiar?

The Miami Heat didn't lose by 27 points last night (their biggest deficit of the game.) They lost 99-85. There is no doubt that a loss is still a loss, an L is an L, but the confidence and momentum gained by the Heat in that late fourth quarter rally might be enough to carry over into a Game 3 victory.

It's going to have be, otherwise this series is over.

Just because only two teams have come back from an 0-2 deficit in the NBA Finals doesn't mean that the Heat can't make this series competitive and take it the full seven games. Perhaps looking at history isn't the best motivation for a team staring down this monumental task. One game at a time has to be the motto in the locker room.

Just because other teams haven't done it doesn't mean that they can't.

They are on the way back to Miami where the Heat have a much better record during the playoffs, losing only one game. Veterans Pat Riley, Shaq, and Gary Payton have to be able to bring this team's focus back to where it needs to be. They are going to have to look past all the questions about history and comebacks and deficits, and focus on Game 3. The season comes down to one game. Win, and they could be on the way to evening the series and staring down history with a fresh start. Lose, and they are done.

They are on the brink of elimination, and they are on the brink of contending in the series.

One game, in the W column or the L, will decide history.

But if the Heat's recent playoff record is any indication of the coming games, then you can be sure that the team has no problem marching onto the court in the face of fait accompli.

Coach Pat Riley said, "Everybody's written our team off, even in Chicago. We lost to games to Chicago, then we got buried by New Jersey in the first game. We were history, and then we were history against Detroit — even when we were ahead 3-1. I'm sure we're history now, so we'll see what happens at home."

Well, actually, Mr. Riley, history says you're pretty much history now.

You aren't playing the Bulls, and you're not playing the Nets.

The Mavs might be (and I know I'm taking a big gamble with this sentence) slightly better than those teams. After all, they are in the NBA Finals after having beat the reigning champs in the San Antonio Spurs. They also put a pretty good hurt on you in the first two games of the season.

Now, that's not to say that history has the fate of the Miami Heat's season already written in the record books. Two teams have come back from an 0-2 deficit to win the NBA Finals. That's something to be hopeful about — however, that is only going to be a hope if the Heat can even this series, and that is only going to happen if they win Game 3.

It's not the time to blow off comments about your team going down 0-2.

It's not time to blow off criticism and tell everybody that you shouldn't write the Heat off, because, after all, they beat the Bulls and the Nets on the way to the NBA Finals.

It's time to say you are looking at the series one game at a time.

It's time to admit that history is a large thing to tackle.

It's time to admit you have a mountain to climb after falling down 0-2.

The Miami Heat still have a chance to make this NBA Finals a competitive series instead of a four-game sweep.

There's still time left to regain the confidence and momentum that could turn this series around into a 2-2 tie.

But it all hinges on Game 3.

Make history, or become it.

Posted by Vince Grzegorek at 3:56 PM | Comments (0)

June 10, 2006

The Steroid Gossip Game

Depression. Not frustration, but depression. That's the emotion I distinctly heard emanating from an ESPN Radio host and an ESPNEWS television anchor as they broke down the breaking news about the drug raid on now-former major league pitcher Jason Grimsley. The initial report was that he had flipped, and was telling the Feds every name of every player who had ever used steroids — like the stoolie love child of Jose Canseco and Chunk from "The Goonies," being interrogated by the Fratelli brothers.

The ESPN guys looked and sounded like someone kicked their puppy while making fun of their mothers. They looked defeated. One of them said something like "just when you thought we were going to have a steroid-less summer, now this happens." The other one, I'm pretty sure, is on a suicide watch.

Why the pity party? Obviously, it's a difficult gig for these guys, and anyone else paid to promote Major League Baseball's product as a sports journalist, to reconcile one's dedication to morals and standards while celebrating alleged, supposed, and would-be "cheaters." I can't imagine getting jacked up to report on a Tigers/Royals game when half of your time is spent trying to figure out the pronunciation of "Deca-Durabolin."

But this Grimsley thing isn't a reason to wallow in self-pity, like a Buffalo Sabres fan trying to invent reasons why his team is "cursed" in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. No, no, no: this Grimsley thing is an educational turning point for baseball fans, the media, and this entire steroid scandal. We've learned two important lessons in the last week:

1. The MLB steroid scandal has gone from a national crisis to pathetic tabloid fodder.

2. The only people who can rid this game of performance-enhancing drugs are the ones who get paid to play it.

Regarding Lesson No. 1: is anyone else surprised the Grimsley story wasn't broken on Page Six of the NY Post? Or in the National Enquirer? Or on the Drudge Report, with one of those little flashing siren lights above a screaming headline?

I am. Because this story, almost immediately, was less about the impact on baseball than it was about those blacked-out names. These scandals have turned the corner. The why and the how in relation to the integrity of the game are afterthoughts — it's now all about the "who" for us. We want the names, and we want them now ... and then, when we find out the names, we want to be able to draw loose associations to other names whom we've always expected were using steroids. The dreaded "*" is hardly in the conversation anymore — we're more concerned with that "I KNEW IT!!!" moment of self-congratulation when Slugger X is outed as a juicer.

The Grimsley situation has proven, once and for all, that these steroid scandals are the sports equivalent of blind items about gay actors on Hollywood gossip pages: "Which Southwestern team's pitcher recently copped to using human growth hormone, amphetamines, and steroids?" "Which journeyman reliever was asked to wear a wire in the investigation of a high-profile baseball slugger?" "Which former Philadelphia player with an affinity for chewing tobacco was recently the topic of conversion in a steroid interrogation of a veteran pitcher?"

Baseball fans have become a bunch of gossip queens. Concern for the integrity of the game has been replaced by the salacious need for the intensity of the details. Seriously, tell me the most amazing part of this Grimsley thing wasn't finding out that amphetamine was placed in coffee inside major league clubhouses, with one pot labeled "leaded" and the other marked "unleaded." That's stunningly hilarious news to me — it sounds like something out of a Cheech and Chong movie.

I've long thought that the steroid scandal, from a fan perspective, affects one person and one person only, and that's Barry Bonds. We generally have a problem with an asshole that didn't need the drugs using the drugs to assault one of our most cherished sports records. But everyone else who used performance-enhancing drugs is a footnote to an era in baseball that has been accepted by fans as the steroid era. The horse already left the barn, and there's no way to alter the last 15 years of baseball history, and the fans know it. If we find out tomorrow that Albert Pujols is on the juice, what happens? We all nod in acceptance that he's "one of them," and wonder how a player who's never tested positive can ever be punished for nothing more than guilt by association. That's what happens.

This brings us to who this entire scandal falls on, when all is said and done: the players.

Sure, Ken Rosenthal of FOX Sports can continue his assault on Bud Selig: "Maybe now commissioner Bud Selig can stop prattling on about his goal of 'eliminating' performance enhancers from MLB." But maybe Rosenthal is right: it's time for Selig to step up and tell the fans that it's the players' problem, and they're going to have to fix it. In the meantime, enjoy the home runs and the middle relievers who can pitch five games a week...

And sure, author Jeff Pearlman can take sportswriters to task for their lack of spine in steroid coverage: "Why are journalists so soft in this area? One reason: fear of being shut out. Over the course of a 162-game season, beat writers and columnists work their tails off to develop relationships with players. You grovel. You whimper. You plead. You tiptoe up to a first baseman, hoping he has five minutes to talk about that swollen toe. You share jokes and-embarrassingly-fist pounds. Wanna kill all that hard work in six seconds? Ask the following question: are you juiced? After having been duped by the men they cover, America's sportswriters are playing dumb again."

But again, what can these Woodsteins do besides wait for the trickle of court documents? It's like every other great scandal in modern American history: unless there's a leak coming from the guilty parties, the indignities will never come to light. Busting the cheaters in a major league locker room is about as easy as pinning down the Neo-cons on the weapons of mass destruction that weren't found in Iraq. (Maybe one of Tony Blair's boys has a memo somewhere about Miguel Tejada.)

But none of it speaks to the real issue, which is that major league players have been complicit in allowing all of these drugs into their clubhouses for decades. You hear the occasional player speaking out of turn — David Wells, for example, attempting to out players who happen to be wearing other uniforms. But everyone else is either using or playing with a user, and despite whatever anger they have towards this "cheating," they keep their traps shut. Million-dollar contracts have a funny way of neutering nobility.

But there's also a code, you see. A code among teammates, among competitors. A code the stretches from rookies to retired veterans. A code that's been confirmed to me and to any other sports journalist who's ever asked a big leaguer about steroids; a code that says that you don't rat on anyone ... ever. What happens in the locker room, stays in the locker room. (Or in some cases, in a toilet stall in the locker room.) That goes for drugs, sex, violence ... everything except for those stories you let slip for some good-natured media fodder. ("A-Rod called me a poopiehead...")

Unless of course you're Jason Grimsley, pinched by the Feds, singing like a caged bird. Upon hearing about Grimsley's hit list, I was reminded of that scene in "Goodfellas" where Liotta and Dr. Melfi are in the FBI office, learning about their post-testimony fate in the witness protection program. Their lives, as they knew them, were over. The Feds had the evidence, had the tapes, had the drugs. The only thing left was to take down some very important people with them. Sammy Sosa might not look like Paul Sorvino, but the same principle applies.

That's the only time, it seems, when the code is broken: to save one's hide, or for their own self-interests. Canseco's book was meant to clear his name by revealing his was not the only name. The BALCO case had trainers ratting on players in an attempt to shave years off their sentences. And Grimsley dropped a dime on at least six people, and according to Deadspin.com, one of them is Pujols' personal trainer.

Deadspin, for those who aren't turned on to one of the most original and hilarious sports sites on the web, is at its heart a brilliantly-written gossip blog. Which is exactly where this steroid stuff now belongs: along side stories about sports groupies and who Matt Leinart is dating.

We know about the steroids. We know they're part of the game. And now we just want to know the names: so we can blast them for forever tainting the game; and then gladly pay to see them play when they come to town a few days later.

Greg Wyshynski is the Features Editor for SportsFan Magazine in Washington, DC, and the Senior Sports Editor for The Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. His book "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History" will be published in spring 2006. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 11:59 PM | Comments (0)

Time For Another Battle of the Sexes?

Tennis has always been on the trailing edge of sport. Tennis was one of the last "shamateur" sports to move to a paid professional level. Several professional tournaments were and are played at clubs that still require on court attire to be all white, including the oldest and prestigious major, Wimbledon. Tennis was one of the last to integrate races, and is one of the few sports that is still referred to as "lily white."

Yet in many ways, the game has been on the forefront of sports. Tennis is the only sport to have a professional handicapped wheelchair tour. The Billie Jean King/Bobby Riggs match led the charge for equal rights for women, not just in sports, but in life. The adoption of rules, like the no-ad scoring system and the tiebreaker to make the game more fan-friendly came way before NASCAR or the XFL made fan-friendly important. Tennis is still the only sport (figure skating doesn't count here) where men and women are paired and compete in open competition (mixed doubles) for major championships.

So it's no great surprise then that in tennis the controversy over equal prize money for the sexes continues. To paraphrase the old Virginia Slims Tour slogan, "We've come a long way, baby!" But apparently, still not far enough. Probably the greatest coincidence of our great sport and equality is our biggest tournament and oldest championship, the All England Lawn Tennis Club (AELTC) Championships, aka Wimbledon. Held in a country where tradition, civility, and procedure are still the rule, and where centuries old traditions are almost immortal, it is no surprise that chauvinistic, prejudicial manners still have precedence.

Again in 2006, the prize money pot will be less for the women then the men. In attempting to explain why, AELTC chairman Tim Phillips defended the decision saying, "This issue is one of a judgment on fairness. We believe that what we do at the moment is actually fair to the men, as well as to the women."

I struggle to understand the reasoning, but Mr. Phillips gave what is thought in many circles to be a reasonable explanation. Phillips said that with the physical demands of best-of-five matches, the top men rarely play doubles events, and they earn less overall than women. Phillips also said that women make more overall because the top players are willing and do compete in singles, doubles, and mixed doubles.

While only $53,600 separates the prize amounts between the men's and women's winners, its not only the money difference that is in play at the AELTC. To many the respect for the women's game is. Let's face it, when a powerful person like Chairman Phillips argues that it's not fair to the men because women play up to three times as much as the men and take home more, then one really has to wonder about the motivation behind it.

I know that if I did anything three times as much as my next counterpart I would hope that I would bring home more pay. I still laugh when I hear Chairman Phillips' words, "It just doesn't seem right to us that the lady players could play in three events and could take away significantly more than the men's champion, who battles away through these best-of-five matches. We also would point that the top 10 ladies last year earned more from Wimbledon that the top 10 men did."

The lack of equal prizes at Wimbledon is constantly being justified. In an attempt to show that Wimbledon was really a windfall for the women, the All England Club released data showing that the 2005 ladies' singles quarter-finalists were earning £1,432 pounds per game played compared to the £993 pounds per game earned by their male equivalents. When I first looked at this, I thought maybe they were right. Then I remembered that you can always find a statistic to portray what you want. Heck, I used to be the king of that.

If you have to start calculating the per-game earnings, then you should already know you are not where you need to be. In many ways, the heads of Wimbledon are misleading everyone and still living in some alternate reality. While it appears that the women make more per game, it is true that they are just about second-class citizens in every other aspect of the tournament, as well. The best match times and courts go to the men. The better facilities currently go to the men. I've even heard it discussed that the men even get the better officials and judges on the green grass. The women's final for many years was broadcast on tape delay, while the men's final was live. I wonder what the cost per game all that is.

As I take a deeper look at the statistic, something else doesn't ring true. The mixed doubles champions receive the same pay check. So, that means that men and women are being paid the same per-game rate. Now, if what the AELTC is true, then the male champion in mixed doubles should get less then his woman partner. After all, the men are now only playing three sets instead of five. Wouldn't that warrant a decrease in prize earnings?

Another look tells me that the men are somewhat lazier today then in the past. John McEnroe, Jimmy Connors, Ilie Nastase, Rod Laver, John Newcombe, and a host of past champions of the Open Era all played doubles, as well as the singles. The top men now could play doubles if they wanted to, but they chose not to. It's actually not fair to penalize the women because the top players do lend their names and faces to the doubles draws. They should probably be rewarded even more.

Maybe the most fascinating part of the current argument and its most overlooked point is that there is one person who has been at the top of both the men's and women's tours who clearly has the best perspective.

Sony Ericsson WTA Tour CEO Larry Scott's statement was quite strong, and he was emphatic when he stated, "In the 21st century, it is morally indefensible that women competitors in a Grand Slam tournament should be receiving considerably less prize money than their male counterparts. Women got the vote in Britain in 1918, and the Sex Discrimination Act has been in force for over 30 years, yet Wimbledon continues to take a Victorian era view when it comes to pay. It's surprising that Wimbledon, which has been such a leader in our sport, has chosen to lag behind the other Grand Slams on the issue of equality. Wimbledon represents so much that is good about modern British society, but inequality should not be part of the Wimbledon brand."

The statement is not to be dismissed. It comes from a man who understands the inner workings of both the ATP and WTA Tours, especially from a sponsorship and monetary side. I took the opportunity to go a little deeper with CEO Scott knowing his unique qualifications. And what I found out was very revealing. Mr. Scott provides a different perspective that definitely counteracts the AELTC argument.

Scott said, "First of all, doubles and mixed doubles are separate events from the singles competition. Secondly, Wimbledon is justifying treating women as second class because they do more for the tournament. Taking this argument to its logical conclusion, the more the women support Wimbledon, the more unequally they should be treated. Is Wimbledon suggesting that if the top women don't support the doubles event then they deserve equal prize money in singles?" Mr. Scott, point well-taken.

CEO Scott also noted that the women are willing to play best-of-five sets. "With respect to the five sets vs. three sets argument, the women have made clear that they are willing to play five sets. It is Wimbledon themselves who have (a) refused to allow the women to play five sets and (b) stated that they would prefer that the women play best of three sets." So Chairman Phillips is essentially saying that women should be paid less because Wimbledon makes them play less. 30-love, Mr. Scott.

It seems that Mr. Scott opens up a pandora's box of questions that the AELTC would have a hard time answering. He stated that in the professional game, athletes are paid more as entertainers and for entertainment value that they provide to the fans, broadcasters, and sponsors, and less for the number of games they play. Would the AELTC and its benefactors rather have a Vince Spadea/Mario Ancic men's final or a Martina Hingis/Venus Williams or Kim Clijsters/Justine Henin-Hardenne women's final? Would the AELTC accept less sponsorship money from the Rolex sponsorship because Maria Sharapova is currently Rolex's featured tennis athlete endorser? Would NBC and the AELTC turn Anna Kournikova away from the gate in favor of Goran Ivanisovic?

The whole argument and counterpoint can be summed up in one statement. "The available data shows that the women at Grand Slam events more than hold their own with the men in terms of attracting sponsors, selling tickets and generating television revenues," Scott said. "There is no justifiable reason to pay the women less than the men, and any effort to do so is an exercise in pure subjectivity."

If the amount of articles I write is any indication, the WTA Tour and women players actually provide more attention to the sport than the men. With the exception of Roger Federer and Andy Roddick in the U.S., there isn't a ton of excitement in the men's game. Nor are there a ton of marketable players. Can any of my readers tell me five current male players that are in large-scale print or TV advertisements? Now, how about the women? Truth is, Anna Kournikova always out-sold Andre Agassi, Maria Sharapova clearly overwhelms Roddick in advertisements, Venus and Serena Williams appear in more "Got Milk?" ads than any male player, and Martina Navratilova is still a sought-after endorsee in her late-40s.

Hey, that's not fair to the men, either. Maybe Chairman Phillips should pay the men even more because they don't shave their legs, or because the women are more attractive than the men. Heck, that's just not fair. Or maybe the men should get paid more because men can't have children. Gee, don't women take longer in the shower than men? Guess there should be a deduction in prize money because the women's water and soap bill is higher. No, wait, maybe men deserve more because they hit harder. Or maybe because there are more highly-ranked British men players than women. Wait, how about...

Posted by Tom Kosinski at 11:40 PM | Comments (5)

June 9, 2006

NBA on ABC Can't Live Up to Predecessors

As we enter early June, surely this would be the perfect time for an NBA Finals preview between two Finals newbies, the Miami Heat and Dallas Mavericks. But I have had something to get off my chest about the way the NBA playoffs have been covered for the past four years.

Quite frankly (Stephen A. Smith notwithstanding), the game just doesn't look as good on TV anymore. There are a number of reasons for this — some noticeable, others are subtle things that most fans would overlook and roll their eyes if someone mentions this. However, when it comes to analyzing television coverage of a sporting event, I believe there are some subconscious elements at work.

I can still remember the day I turned on ESPNEWS and had an anchor tell me that ESPN and ABC had just signed a six-year television contract with the NBA, taking weekends and playoffs away from the magical land of NBC, and my heart sank a little. I knew that I really shouldn't care that much. It was still the same game with the same players, but I also knew my beloved sport would never look or feel the same way again. Four years later, I have noticed a laundry list of different and unconventional approaches ABC has employed that have taken away from the viewing experience.

For starters, ABC has never been able to settle on consistent or memorable theme music for NBA games. ESPN's NBA theme song has remained consistent, but is uninspired. This is only worth noting because NBC's NBA theme song, created by John Tesh, and entitled "Roundball Rock" was one of the most catchy and memorable sports themes of all-time and is still used in limited amounts for games televised on NBA TV. In 2004, Tesh's groundbreaking basketball track was even sampled in a mediocre Nelly rap song named "Heart of a Champion," albeit poorly. It serves as a tribute, nonetheless.

Next on the list is the quality of announcers. It was simple to figure out when ABC made this deal that they would have no one to call the games that could do a better job than NBC's top guns, most notably legend Marv Albert. Behind him on the NBC depth chart was articulate and insightful wordsmith Bob Costas, and behind him was the wildly underrated Tom Hammond.

Now in contrast, for the 2003 NBA Finals, the first title series done by ABC, the lead play-by-play man was Brad Nessler, hardly a big name. In fact, Nessler had never called a professional sport for television before that season, he had only done college football and basketball on ESPN. The unfamiliar (and unmemorable) voice did not add to the sport's new look.

A year later, four-sport star Al Michaels found himself in the lead play-by-play spot. This appeared to be a major improvement at first, however, as it went on, it seemed this deal had involved all the brainpower of an Isiah Thomas blockbuster special. Michaels, while delivering his trademark fluctuating voice and insights, was clearly better suited for the slower pace of football, which gave him more breaks in the action to to ramble and explain every little nuance of life he felt necessary.

However, in the NBA, Michaels all too often found himself in one of these tediously long-winded explanations talking over two or three possessions in a row. He would hardly have time to comment on the action you were seeing because he was so hung up on a prior subplot or storyline that he felt you, the viewer, just had to know about.

However, when Michaels was recently shipped to NBC for a cartoon to be named later, Mike Breen (an old NBC holdover, I might add) took over and is now ready to call the 2006 NBA Finals. This stands as a notable improvement, as Breen has been strictly a basketball announcer his entire career and therefore knows the game far better than Michaels, even if he does not have the same clout. Breen's explosive voice and ecstatic calls on game-deciding and game-winning shots have already added an extra theatrical touch in these playoffs, as well.

Now, on to the more subtle differences of the networks. ABC and ESPN shot the game differently than NBC in the '90s or CBS in the '80s before it. Their approach took away the vibrant colors and brilliant close-in images we were used to seeing, and replaced them with dulled-out colors from questionable angles. (Remember ABC's Floor Cam? Did that serve any purpose other than for giggly women who wanted to peek up a player's shorts when he dunked?)

The sideline camera view during game action was so far away that even a Shaq dunk on screen looked like a tiny ant pushing a cookie crumb down into an ant hill, whereas the Diesel once so perfectly filled up the screen. Honestly, do we really need to see everything from the basket to half court throughout every possession? On top of that, Shaq's Miami Heat road jersey, which would have looked vivid and bright red in NBC's heyday, had he played for the Heat then, now resembles something closer to a murky brown hue on ABC.

Our favorite athletes were no longer larger-than-life Greek gods — they were now mere worker insects. Breakaway dunks were suddenly punctuated by curious cutaways to an overhead view from the top of the basket, completely eliminating the enjoyment of seeing how much a LeBron James elevates off the ground and strikes a pose in mid-air before throwing one down. All these elements take away from the visual eye-candy element of basketball, and sport in general, that usually infatuates the subconscious mind while we watch, whether we take the time to think about this process or not.

Another unfortunate tactic used by ESPN/ABC is the dulling out of crowd noise. Sure, it's there, but hardly an accurate representation. The decision was made that the announcer's voices came first and should be clearly heard at all times. The result was a less emotional, less dramatic broadcast. Suddenly, the viewer can't feel the momentum of home-court advantage the way it should sound when Arco Arena is erupting after the latest 11-0 run by the Kings. The games were far more dramatic on NBC when the announcers were forced to shout over the honestly-represented raucous roars of the home crowds.

Look at any rebroadcast, or videotape if you were smart enough, of a memorable NBC playoff game in which the home team hits a game-winning shot in the final seconds (try Reggie Miller against the Bulls or Robert Horry against Sacramento) and you will notice the difference instantly. You would think those contests decided the fate of the free world with the crowd noise at the end of those games. But you'll hear none of that anymore.

The constant scorebox in the corner of the screen was not something NBC liked to use until the final minutes of a close game, when it was absolutely necessary (and only in their final years). They would much prefer, like those that came before them, to flash the score across the bottom of the screen while teams crossed half-court. However, while every other team sport acquired a constant running time and score somewhere on the screen, it seems to hurt basketball more than it helps it. Why? Because a watched pot never boils, and basketball has the slowest-moving clock of any sport. Nothing takes away from a tide-turning three or a back-breaking dunk more than seeing in the corner of your screen at the same time that there is still 6:42 left in the first quarter and the score is only 11-8.

The game seems to stretch on forever as you can't help but stare at that corner and wait and hope for the clock to tick down to "crunch time." The scorebox has since morphed into a more fashionable line score at the bottom of the screen, but remains no less of a constant reminder of the irrelevance of the great shot you just saw go down. When the time and score was out of your way, you could appreciate good basketball for what it was, and the occasional reminders between possessions left no lingering effects.

ABC also insists on more cutaways and less instant replays. This is great if you really wanted to see the look on Phil Jackson and Jack Nicholson's face at any given moment. This is great if you can't get enough shots of cheerleaders or large-breasted female fans. This is not great if you wanted to see that last blocked shot and the dunk preceding it from better angles right before the commercial break. NBC could sneak in as many slow-motion replays as necessary, anywhere they needed to and rarely missed game action in the process. The replays themselves also looked prettier, while ABC's look grittier.

The last effect of all this change in covering the game is that it caused TNT to copycat ABC's methods. Whereas it had been previously riding the coattails of NBC, TNT's camerawork suffered equally as they adopted the zoom-out approach, although they have retained other techniques of the deceased NBC package such as the additional replays and brighter colors.

Their choice of Fort Minor's "Remember the Name" as their theme song this year was a perfect fit (far more than I can say for Tom Petty's relaxed "Runnin' Down a Dream" on ABC), as the rap tune sports crossover appeal, competitive intensity, and clever lyrics that break down sport by the percentages. However, other problems that have recently plagued TNT's coverage of this year's Western Conference Finals can be explained in two words: David Hasselholf.

The ratings back up these observations. Case in point: the '04 Finals was the most highly-anticipated of ABC's recent tenure, pitting the big-market Lakers of Shaq and Kobe against the underdog Detroit Pistons in a matchup with major David versus Goliath appeal that magnified with each stunning Pistons win. This series got an average rating of 11.5 on ABC, the zenith of their brief era thus far. NBC averaged that for a bad Finals, such as Spurs/Knicks from 1999 (11.4). Meanwhile, the peacock network peaked the year before that in Michael Jordan's swan song with a robust 18.7 Nielsen average in the memorable /98 Bulls/Jazz finals.

In 2002, NBC's last NBA Finals; they had a low but respectable 10.4. The next year, ABC's first, things had plummeted down to 6.5. Many complained about the lackluster matchups, small markets, and poor play of the Nets and Spurs in 2003, but there may have been those extra factors involved here. The '02 Finals was no picnic, either, as we all knew the Nets stood no chance against Shaq and Kobe and we were right — but at least a decent amount of us still watched.

You may notice that many of NBC's old techniques involving colors and camera angles and crowd noise are still employed today by another major basketball network — CBS during the NCAA tournament. It's no coincidence that the entire nation remains fixated on that event for those same three weeks every year. Both CBS and NBC managed to capture the heart of sport, the human interest, the emotion, and put it in the best possible and purest light. This is something that the two-headed monster of ABC and ESPN has never truly quite understood.

So good luck to those faithful NBA readers dedicated on watching every minute of this year's finals on ABC. If the action seems lacking, keep in mind that the game once looked as picturesque as an exotic tropical island in a sea of rabid fans. It is now merely an ordinary hardwood floor with baskets only slightly more visible than a needle's eye, and 10 little ants passing around a cookie crumb, as you look on from your nosebleed seats at home. Enjoy the view.

Posted by Bill Hazell at 5:13 PM | Comments (2)

NHL's Saturday Night Special

The Boston Bruins concluded their home schedule way back on April 13. Within days, the ice was melted, the water drained, and the lights extinguished at TD Banknorth Garden. There it has remained, dry and dark ever since. Yet, eight weeks later, the NHL has yet to coronate a champion in an annual ritual more exhaustive than Mr. Trump's search for his next Apprentice.

Here in New England, we were once a feared lot. One of the Original Six, a perennial contender, hosts to the most memorable goal in the Stanley Cup's storied history. Now, all that remains of those days are the 16x20 framed photos of a flying Bobby Orr still adorning the walls of every neighborhood sports pub. And under that image of the iconic Orr with his arms outstretched and stick raised after beating St. Louis Blues goalie Glenn Hall for the Cup winner, some commemoration of the date is often set into the frame or written on masking tape affixed to the glass. May 10, 1970.

As unimaginable as it sounds, NHL seasons once wrapped up on May 10.

This season, the anniversary of Orr's goal found Carolina and Edmonton halfway through their second of four playoff rounds. On that night, each was victorious by a 3-2 score. The Hurricanes' win gave them a commanding 3-0 lead over the Devils. For the Oilers, it was their first against San Jose in a series they still trailed, 2-1. There were many miles to go before this season sleeps.

So be it, our broad hockey readership will assert. For them, the longer the better. Complaints of the enduring season are as warmly received as is quoting Nietze in the middle of Mass. If the rest of the country doesn't like it, we're invited to move on to our outdoor sports and leave hockey fans in peace to catch some cathode rays and their pallid game.

With so many other choices, why should it bother me that hockey is played in June? For starters, I want in on the Finals.

I am by all accounts a casual fan. I don't get OLN and would not subscribe anyway. I only saw Slap Shot once. I do not regard full dental work as an effeminate quality. I enjoy the game in moderation, but not enough to opine on Bruins free agent candidates or whose jersey is deserving of a final rest in Toronto.

Once upon a time, the Stanley Cup Finals were my Mecca. They brought me back to the game once a year and usually left me resigned to pick things up again in the fall. Then summer would come and I invariably lost my enthusiasm for an upcoming season of 2-2 ties. Surprisingly, this year's shootouts did not mitigate my indifference. If anything, last year's work stoppage may have expanded it. I have now grown indifferent to summer hockey.

All right, why should Hockey Fan care about my opinion? That's easy. You need me. You need my kind. And we are legion.

Yours can no longer afford to remain a secret order dedicated to preserving the esoterica of a once sacred game. You must come to terms with the fact that Bowling Night successfully replaced your sport on its former network, and the WNBA now outdraws it on its new home on OLN. Your game's next generation of fans are more apt to be the fallout who dosed off during Elk Country Journal or The Lance Chronicles and awaken to a hockey game and a missing remote. That is not a sufficient source to carry you back into prime time.

You need me to host a Stanley Cup party this Saturday night and invite four or five of my casual hockey fan buddies over to the house. It will be your coming-out party into prime time America and you need my television tuned to NBC.

Then, you need to spend time with me at the coffee bar on Monday morning, patiently explaining where the centerline went. I still see a red stripe under the ice, but it's breached more than Paris Hilton's loins. And you need to explain to my buddies how the penalty box has come to be so crowded, and why it is no longer vacant during sudden deaths. You need to pull us back for Monday night's broadcast and the next after that.

But here's the thing: we haven't seen ice in two months. We've forgotten how it feels, how cold it can be. Frankly, I don't want to think about ice. It's June and my mind is on the beach. Hockey had its window, but it closed three weeks ago as the WNBA's opened. That's where the big television audience is now when we're not on the beach.

Hockey Fan, Saturday night is your big opportunity. NBC will insist you outdraw its poker series, and you can't do it with your measly ranks. If you fail, it will not be their wallets flapping in the wind. They have a revenue-sharing arrangement that will cut into NHL coffers for the next two years. Beyond that, if expectations aren't satisfied, they may well become a League vendor. Into whose pockets do you suppose Gary Bettman will be digging to pay for airing rights? Certainly not those of the sleepy OLN viewer biding his time during a shootout so he can catch the day's bullfighting highlights before bed.

By all means, knock yourself out on your fix of 82 regular season games and four rounds of playoffs. Do it any way you wish — start in August, play double-headers, skip the Olympics. Just make Saturday night come a month sooner next year.

For now, I suppose two years is a long time between NHL games. The WNBA can wait a week. Make room for me on the bandwagon this Saturday. And don't forget our appointment at the coffee bar come Monday morning. If you don't know me, I'll be the one with the suntan.

Posted by Bob Ekstrom at 5:04 PM | Comments (0)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 13

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson — A spin in Friday's qualifying relegated Johnson to 42nd on the starting grid, but that was just the beginning of his worries in Dover. Johnson was forced to share a pit stall with Scott Wimmer, and was down a lap by lap 33. Then, contact with David Stremme sent the No. 48 Chevy for a spin. But persistance, crafty pit decisions, and a Lucky Dog free pass allowed Johnson to grind out a sixth-pace finish. He now holds a 74-point lead over Dover winner Matt Kenseth.

"Except for the Lucky Dog pass," says Johnson," it was a weekend full of bad luck. Which is what one would expect in the series' 13th race. But I don't think our bad luck is over. Tuesday was 06/06/06, and with that came the release of The Omen remake. Which isn't so frightening in itself, but when you consider that my interim crew chief while Chad Knaus served his suspension was named Darian Grubb, then we could have problems. The name 'Darian' is awfully close to sounding like 'Damien' which is the name of that creepy kid from the movie. And, like Damian, Darien has an ominous-looking birthmark on his scalp. No, not 666. Darien's is the No. 48."

2. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth surged to his second win of the year, passing Roush teammate Jamie McMurray with three laps remaining to win the Neighborhood Excellence 400 in Dover. Foregoing a pit stop during the races final caution was the key as Kenseth conquered Dover's Monster Mile, trimming 35 points off of Jimmie Johnson's points lead. He now trails Johnson by 74.

"It's great to win in Dover," says Kenseth, "but can someone tell me what exactly 'Neighborhood Excellence' is? What kind of sponsor is that? Normally, with a race sponsor, there is some type of brand recognition. I can't go out and buy 'neighborhood excellence,' could I? And why should NASCAR even care about well-established neighborhoods? Shouldn't they concentrate on the more needy ones? They should have called the Dover race the 'Ghetto Projects 400.'"

3. Mark Martin — As has been the case often this year, Martin's eventual finish was inferior to the potential. After pitting with the lead on lap 263, officials called Martin back to pit lane to tighten a loose lug nut. He fought back, and, as the fastest car on the track late in the race, passed seven cars in the final 45 laps to take ninth. Martin moved up one spot to third in the points, 216 behind Johnson.

"I could've been a contender," Martin laments, "if not for a loose lug nut. Incidentally, the 'Lug Nutz' just happens to be the name I've given to the posse that's hanging around me now. I don't know who these guys are, but they can't keep their pants up and they're always talking about their 'grills.' I guess that's the price you pay when you become a big-time player in the rap game."

4. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. — Earnhardt recorded his sixth top-10 result of the year, finishing 10th in Dover and picking up a spot in the points. Earnhardt moves into fourth, passing the injured Tony Stewart.

"About three more broken shoulder blades," says Earnhardt, "and I could be leading the points. If that's what it takes to win a championship, I'll do it. My Dad wouldn't have hesitated one bit to break a shoulder blade, including his own, to win a title."

5. Kasey Kahne — Kahne followed his win in Charlotte with his best finish ever in Dover. Running in the top 10 for most of the day, Kahne finished the day with his seventh top-10 of the year, in seventh, and remained sixth in the points, 296 behind Jimmie Johnson.

"Dover is such a challenging and unique track," says Kahne, "and the only one on the circuit with its own mascot. That would be 'Miles the Monster,' who's made of solid concrete, which makes him even more hard-headed than the Busch brothers. Plus, Miles has his own action figure and comic book, and fans even younger than my own groupies."

6. Tony Stewart — The injured Stewart lasted 38 laps, then called for relief from the bullpen in the form of Ricky Rudd, whose fastball leaves a lot to be desired, but whose change-up is just plain nasty. Seriously, Rudd relieved Stewart, then was penalized for speeding as he exited pit lane. Rudd finished two laps down, and Stewart was credited with a 25th-place finish, which dropped Stewart to fifth in the Cup points rankings, 293 behind Johnson.

"That was quite an ordeal," says Stewart. "Not driving the car, but getting out of it. I think we're going to put a door back on the No. 20 Chevrolet. And who knows what I'll do if I win at Pocono. I surely can't climb a catchfence to celebrate. Maybe I'll just mount the pit road wall should I win."

7. Kevin Harvick — Harvick and teammate Jeff Burton finished third and fourth, sandwiched between a Roush one-two and a Hendrick five-six. Harvick's fifth top-five of the year moved him up one spot to eighth in the points, 420 behind Johnson.

"420 points?" says Harvick. "That's a lot. That's about my lead in the Busch Series points standings. Actually, my lead is only 297 points, but that should easily hold up, especially since no full-time Busch drivers can win a race, much less make a run for the points title."

8. Jeff Burton — Burton finished fourth in Dover, picking up his third top-five finish of the year, and gained one position in the points. He now sits in seventh, 396 points out of first and 24 ahead of Richard Childress teammate Kevin Harvick. Burton also won the Busch series' StonebridgeRacing.com 200 on Saturday, continuing the trend of a full-time Nextel Cup drivers winning every Busch race this year.

"Check this out," says Burton. "In two weeks, Busch officials will travel to Montreal to examine the feasibility of a Busch race at the Circuit de Gilles Villeneuve. For those of you that don't speak French, that's the Circuit of Gilles Villeneuve. If they can bring hockey to the Carolinas, then we can bring stock car racing to those hosers in Quebec. How do they say it up there? 'Je ne peux pas les voir en peinture.' I think that's 'yee haw' in French."

9. Jeff Gordon — Gordon started third on the grid last Sunday, and early indications pointed to a strong run for the No. 24 Dupont Monte Carlo. Gordon took the lead on lap 38 and eventually led 81 of the first 120 laps. Then, the handling on the car went south, and Gordon faded to a disappointing 12th-place finish, resulting in a drop of two spots in the points. Gordon is now ninth, 428 off the lead.

"Once again, it's a mystery to my team and I what went wrong," says Gordon. "We had a car capable of winning, and we screwed it up. We're missing one piece of the puzzle, one that will put us over the top. Therefore, it's time for a shake up within this team, one that calls for a change in crew chief. And since I'm the owner of Jimmie Johnson's car, I have the power to claim his crew chief, Chad Knaus, for myself."

10. Greg Biffle — Biffle, winner of last spring's Dover race, collected his fourth consecutive top-10 finish with an eighth in Dover. He is now 12th in the points standings, 524 out of first and 85 behind 10th-place Kyle Busch, and moving up fast.

"I guarantee I'll be in the top 10 in points in a matter of no more than three races," says Biffle. "I'm only 85 behind Busch. I can play it safe, wait until he flips out again and gets fined, and overtake him. Just so you know, Kyle, I've had a HANS device thrown at me before."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 4:34 PM | Comments (0)

June 8, 2006

World Cup Preview: Group H

Group H

The final group should be pretty straight-forward, with Spain and the Ukraine leading the way, but Tunisia could pose some potential problems. As for perennial doormat Saudi Arabia, they are just looking to improve upon their last trip to the biggest event on the planet, when they were sent home in humiliating fashion, being outscored 12-0.

Spain

What you need to know — The standard bearers for underachieving. There is not a more predictable, consistently-disappointing bunch when it comes to a major tournament than Spain.

Style — They have throughout the years a team that likes to attack down the flanks, and they are ready to do the same again with a balanced 4-3-3 approach featuring two wingers and a true striker. They are also likely to go with two defensive midfielders, but could change things up a bit with their all-around squad depth and throw out an even more attacking lineup than previously anticipated.

Achilles heel — Mentality. It's almost as if everyone, fans and national team members alike, expect this team to underperform. The 2004 European Championships were emblematic of the Spanish struggles — after beating Russia, they dominated Greece, but somehow only managed to draw with them. Then, needing only a draw against perennial underachieving rival Portugal to advance, they lost 1-0. Many pundits were surprised Spain had been eliminated in the group stage, but few Spainards shared the same shock.

Player you need to know — Fernando Torres. He is the lead striker and has been linked with huge transfer fees all over Europe. The homegrown Atletico Madrid forward was Spain's leading scorer in qualifying and figures to get the bulk of opportunities in this talented side.

Player you will learn to know — David Villa. The former Zaragoza striker burst onto the scene this season with 25 goals to help his new club Valencia qualify for the Champions League and thrust his way into the national team's starting lineup. He figures to play on the wing, but can finish with the best of them.

Prediction — This is one of the deepest, most talented teams in the field. On paper, they should win the group with ease and waltz into the quarterfinals. In reality, though, they will probably win the group, but on goal differential, then struggle to beat a clearly inferior team, before bowing out in the quarterfinals.

Ukraine

What you need to know — Their World Cup debut, the Ukraine was strong in qualifying, finishing atop a very competitive group that featured 2004 European champs Greece, 2002 World Cup semifinalists Turkey, and an extremely formidable Denmark side that has been a regular in recent major international tournaments.

Style — The Ukraine served notice with their impressive 3-0 win at Turkey, which pretty much served as a blueprint for their style - keep it tight in the back and let the big guy score. The big guy, of course, is all-planet striker Andriy Shevchenko, who Chelsea just paid $50 million dollars for.

Achilles heel — Depth. Shevchenko is in a race to be fit for the opening game after surgery in May. And as their coach Oleg Blohkin said "Of course, with Shevchenko we have one team and without him it is quite another team."

Player you need to know — Surprise, Andriy Shevchenko! The former European player of the year is the best striker in the game. He is equally lethal with both his left and right foots, as well as his head. There is not a better pure goal scorer in the world.

Player you will learn to know — Andriy Voronin. The Bayer Leverkusen forward plays opposite Shevchenko and although he only scored once in qualifying, he could be poised to have one of those unforgettable tournaments with all the attention Shevchenko is sure to attract.

Prediction — This is one of the tournaments true sleepers. They could have a potential meeting with France, a country with which their footballing talents are often compared to. And with their defense and finishing up front, it could mean au revoir Les Bleus.

Tunisia

What you need to know — They are not a pushover. This northern African team can play competitively with some of the best teams in the world as they proved in the Africa Cup of Nations this winter, losing to Nigeria in a long and protracted penalty shootout. They had a poor showing in the 2002 World Cup, but won the 2004 Africa Cup of Nations and are eager to show their improvement this time around.

Style — They play the most European of all the African teams. Coach Roger Lemerre has instilled a mentality of disciplined defending along with a ball-controlling midfield. That, and a naturalized Brazilian to help ease the scoring load.

Achilles heel — Like a lot of northern African teams, their disciplined style of play works great against the other African teams, but against European squads, their team becomes exposed because their talent isn't up to some of the other clubs, and their advantage of being a cohesive team goes out the window against other equally cohesive units.

Player you need to know — Dos Santos. The previously referred to naturalized Brazilian striker plays successfully in France. The "Roadrunner" as he is called is the one true difference maker in the side.

Player you will learn to know — Hatem Trabelsi. The right fullback has spent much of his career at Ajax tormenting opposing defenses down the wing, when healthy. And provided he is, Trabelsi could be a thorn in opposing teams' future plans.

Prediction — This team hasn't won a game in the World Cup since 1978. That should change in their first opportunity against Saudi Arabia. After that, they could pose some trouble, but I suspect they will fall admirably short.

Saudi Arabia

What you need to know — The worst team in the 2002 World Cup returns for what should be another three and out. They were drubbed by a combined 12-0 margin in their three games four years ago.

Style — Quick and powerful by Asian standards, the Saudis like to move the ball around swiftly and have had reasonable success of late, including defeating South Korea twice during an undefeated qualifying run.

Achilles heel — Their best player is 33-years-old, and no one plays outside of Saudi Arabia. They are short on talent, but long on funds — they rank as some of the most well-paid footballers in the world.

Player you need to know — Sami Al Jaber. This will be the fourth World Cup for Saudi Arabia, and it will be the fourth World Cup for Sami, as well. He is the first Asian to score in two World Cups, but is not up to the standard of other world-class strikers.

Player you will learn to know — I doubt we'll get to know any of these guys, but be on the lookout for Yasser Al Qahtani. He led the team in scoring during qualifying and is being characterized as the nation's best young player with some dazzling dribbling skills.

Prediction — Score a goal first, and then worry about getting a result, from somewhere — hopefully in the first game, because it won't get any easier from there. The Ukraine and Spain figure to be extremely stingy when it comes to handing out charity goals, so Tunisia might be the best place to look. If the Saudis prove to be as bad as I think they will be, FIFA needs to look at how the bids are allocated — there is no way Asia deserves 4.5 places in the World Cup, Saudi Arabia serving as a prime example. Should they really be in this tournament two times in a row? Are they better than Uruguay? Denmark? San Marino?

Posted by Piet Van Leer at 10:13 PM | Comments (0)

NBA Playoffs: 40 Games in 40 Nights (Pt. III)

It seems like a year ago that the NBA playoffs started. It also seems like a year ago that I embarked on a list of 40 NBA-related items to chronicle some of the best, worst, and most intriguing stories of the playoffs.

My initial dream of pioneering into the world of list making seems like a distant memory.

My eureka moment of discovering 40 as the perfect number for a list feels like ages ago.

So, with no basketball having been played in the last four days, I thought it was the perfect time to try and complete the list. With the NBA Finals starting on Thursday night, there is going to be plenty of worthwhile stories to write about, so while there is no basketball in the meantime, I figured it'd be a good opportunity to fill out the last 10 items of the list with ideas and comments that might not otherwise have a chance to be brought to light.

After all, who is going to want to talk about important things like what Shaq would look like in a Superman outfit, or what would Dirk Nowitzki look like with cornrows, when there are real games being played?

Smaller, more obscure stories like these only flourish in the space between games. And, with four days of no basketball until the NBA Finals, what more perfect time to ponder whether Antoine Walker eats a cheeseburger during half-time of games, and what might be on the cheeseburger?

See, I bet you hadn't wondered that before.

That's why I'm here.

You have to give ideas like this time to breath while there is little or no real news to speak of.

Thursday night we will finally begin the NBA Finals, but, more importantly, right now we will finally conclude...

The 40 Things I Have Seen, Thought About, Heard Through the Grapevine, Considered, Predicted, Been Insulted By, Been Nauseated By, Scoffed At, and Missed About the 2006 NBA Playoffs So Far (In No Particular Order)

31. A sinus infection? Really, that's the big news?

Dwyane Wade has been carrying a box of tissues around with him at times during the last few days of practice.

Better put that one on the front page of the Sports section.

After suffering from flu-like symptoms, the Miami Heat said that Wade has a sinus infection that has left him feeling a little under the weather the past week.

People, it's a sinus infection. It's not a pulled hamstring.

Tell me Shaq hurt himself trying to do a backflip into his pool and I'll pay attention. Tell me that Antoine Walker got food poisoning from a cheeseburger he was trying to eat real quickly before Pat Riley saw him and I'll pay attention. Tell me that Steve Nash tripped Dirk Nowitzki down a flight of stairs in a fit of jealousy and I'll be concerned.

But, really, a sinus infection?

Dwyane Wade is going to be fine, and it's the lack of real news that sadly is making this a bigger story than it actually is.

Wade's performance isn't going to be hindered by a case of the sniffles. Of course he's going to be fine for Game 1.
What's he going to say, "Well folks, my nose hurts a bit so I think I'll just take the first game off and stay in bed and watch Sleepless in Seattle?"

Dallas doesn't really think that Wade's box of tissues is a sign that he's going to be less effective in Game 1 of the series. Worst case scenario, D-Wade's nose is a little raw from the tissues. However, I'm sure the Heat are making sure that he has the really good kind, so I wouldn't worry about it.

32. Is 1989 too far back for people to remember?

On ESPN, the fans chose Michael Jordan's 1998, Game 6, Finals-winning shot as the best playoff moment.

The shot clinched the Bulls' sixth championship.

Living in Cleveland during the entire Cavs losing to the Bulls era of basketball, I have to wonder where "The Shot" was on the list. On May 7, 1989, Jordan's buzzer beater sent the Bulls past the Cavs in dramatic style.

Rather than picking a moment from the zenith of Jordan's Bulls dynasty, wouldn't you pick the moment that started it all for Jordan in the playoffs. The first buzzer beater. The first time he glided above the rest of the league in the rarified air that he would live in for close to a decade.

"The Shot" was a harder shot than the shot that got voted as the best playoff moment. That alone should make it number one.

Three seconds left, running across the lane, shooting an inch over the outstretched arm of Craig Ehlo's hand, "The Shot" is the quintessential Jordan moment.

It was the genesis of the superstar.

It was a moment that made my father cry.

Regardless, it deserves to be the number one playoff moment.

33. Mark Cuban and David Stern should hug.

Sure, I would love to see the moment when David Stern begrudgingly hands the Larry O'Brien trophy to Mark Cuban. It would be a great television moment. It would be a great sports moment. It would be a great humor moment.

The fake smile on Stern's face next to the ecstatic, too real smile on Cuban's would be a classic moment.

I just have this sense that Cuban is going to hug Stern for some reason. I can see it in my head, and it's all too real.

It doesn't make a lot of sense, but can't part of you visualize Cuban excitedly passing the trophy on to Avery Johnson and the turning around and giving David Stern a gigantic bear hug?

Although, I'm sure Stern would try to fine Cuban for that.

34. Dirk or Dwyane?

Both players are playing in their first NBA Finals.

Both players have been simply great this season.

One of these players will most likely be the NBA Finals MVP.

The only question is, who?

In all the analysis of the upcoming series, everyone seems to agree that neither team is going to have an easy time defending the other's superstar. They talk about containing them, or slowing them down, or showing them different looks, but no one is talking about stopping them.

The matchups on the defensive side don't look good for either team. Miami doesn't really have anybody that can guard Dirk one-on-one, and Dallas doesn't really have anyone that can stay with Wade one-on-one.

For all intents and purposes, I think everyone is resigned to Wade and Dirk each averaging over 30 ppg for the series.

For all intents and purposes, I agree.

That's why one of these two guys will be the NBA Finals MVP.

35. Seven-footers don't play soccer.

Do you think anybody in Germany is going to pay that much attention to the NBA Finals, even if Dirk Nowitzki has the series of his life?

The World Cup starts this weekend, and so do the NBA Finals.

Dirk Nowitzki is German, but he plays basketball in America.

I'm struggling right now to think of anyway that anybody will pay that close attention to what he does.

I'm sure it's the same for a lot of Americans that will be watching the NBA Finals this weekend, but will not tune in to the U.S. World Cup games on Monday, Saturday, or the following Thursday.

Landon Donovan? Who's that?

Probably the same reaction a lot of people in Germany would have if you asked them about Dirk's performance in Game 1 on Thursday.

36. To repeat a couple of previous items...

Desagana Diop is playing in the NBA Finals.

I don't think I ever expected to read or write that sentence, and it bothers me.

If your name rhymes with lasagna (depending on who is pronouncing it) then you shouldn't be allowed to win a championship.

Seriously, though, after watching Diop sit on the bench for four years, it was hard to imagine that he would ever get to a place where he was a contributor on a playoff team. I had him pegged for a journey to basketball in Europe.

Instead, people are talking about the matchup problems that he will give Shaq with his ability to run.

Unbelievable.

37. The tough questions and the tough answers.

If Mark Cuban wants rivalries in the NBA so badly, why doesn't he instruct his team to give honest, in-your-face answers during the media sessions?

I want to hear Dirk call Shaq an overweight pansy.

I want to hear Josh Howard make fun of Wade and his tissues.

I want Avery Johnson to make fun of Pat Riley's hair.

I want Desagana Diop to send cheeseburgers to Antoine Walker.

This is what would make the days before the game exciting. If everyone would just get some fortitude and tell it like it is. You could pretty much guarantee that Game 1 would be phenomenal.

Trash talking is one way to put it.

Whatever it is, it would certainly do something to heat up the Dallas/Miami rivalry.

38. Aspirations to be like Dwyane Wade? Or dreams of being the next Paul Shirley?

It seems the Miami heat bench players and reserves have a lot to say about playoff basketball.

Yes, they are real NBA players. No, most of them haven't played a single minute in these playoffs.

One has to wonder if every bench player in the NBA dreams of being the next Paul Shirley.

Traveling blog. ESPN blog. Feature television show.

Sure sounds better than sitting on the bench.

39. Great headlines from four days of no basketball...

Shaq Feels Confident That Afternoon Nap on the Couch was Solid.

Jason Williams 98% Sure of Next Tattoo.

Friends Shocked by Wade's Choice to Paint Kitchen Red.

Dirk Nowitzki Seriously Considering Having Shrimp for Dinner.

Avery Johnson Excited About Arrival of The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh From Netflix.

40. To answer some questions...

1. Shaq would look scary in a Superman outfit.

2. Dirk would look thuggish with cornrows.

3. Antoine Walker eats two cheeseburgers during half-time.

4. The cheeseburgers have American cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, and onions.

See, in the days off before the Finals start, you get the answers to the really important questions that wouldn't see the light of day if there was actual basketball going on.

Posted by Vince Grzegorek at 9:41 PM | Comments (0)

Blackjack: Video Game Edition

1. I just found a secret code that allows me to play the second best original Nintendo (NES) game ever (behind Tecmo Bowl) on a GameCube copy of Animal Crossings. I won't say specifically what it is, I'll just say that I don't remember Soda Popinski getting stronger as the rounds went on, King Hippo is still my favorite, and I still think Mr. Sandman is harder to beat than Tyson.

2. The only hockey game I ever played on NES was Blades of Steel. Do they still make hockey games where you are supposed to win the fights?

3. Skip this part if you want, I have to tell you about my greatest NFL Blitz victory ever, nay, my greatest video game accomplishment ever. Just recall that in NFL Blitz 2000, you have to get across the 50 to attempt a field goal. I'm up 19-14. My buddy Arik scores a go-ahead touchdown with :30 left. I get the ball back and drive close to midfield, but my drive stalls with eight seconds left at my own 46. So Arik takes over at my 46 and right away goes for a rub-it-in field goal, which he misses.

Now I have it back with :04 left, still at my own 46. I throw a quick slant which is caught by the receiver at Arik's 48 ... and I make my guy leap out of bounds. Did I get out in time? Yes! :01 left. Arik says, "Oh ... no." I kick the field goal. It donks off the right upright ... and bounces in. It's good. I win 22-21. Arik stares into space for about 15 minutes, slowly shaking his head. I am dancing and rattling off a long stream of trash-talk consciousness while he does. Not only did I win in the most exciting fashion imaginable, I got to punish hubris, too.

4. I'll be happy when technology gets to the point where the announcer can say the name of the player that you "created."

5. The fault of some sports video games (thankfully, less so as time and technology marches on), is that some of them have an exploitable glitch waiting to be discovered, and once you do, it's not really playable anymore. The most glaring example I can think of is one of the Maddens for Super Nintendo (this would've been sometime between 1994 and 1996).

My buddy and I discovered a way where you could recover your own onside kick every single time. So we had to stop playing. At first we discussed a rule where we would just never attempt an onside kick, but this seemed unfair to whomever would be forced to kick away, down by 2 with :20 left. We couldn't figure out a compromise. We should've used a die: roll a six, take your onside kick. Otherwise, kick away.

6. The first sports video game I remember getting excited about was Video Olympics for Atari 2600.

7. The first sports video game I remember getting disappointed by was Video Olympics for Atari 2600. Every game (hockey, track, basketball, etc) was a variation on pong. Seriously. No graphics to speak of, just sticks and dots.

8. I miss putting in a Nintendo game, watching it not load up, taking the game out, and blowing in the cartridge. The amateur diagnosis of an unplayable game was always, always dust. The solution was to blow into the cartridge, and jam it back into the console as far as possible. If that doesn't work, blow in it again and put it back in the console as shallowly as possible while still allowing it to latch.

9. Perhaps the most underrated sports game of all time (once again, I speak of NES) is Lunar Pool. Once you cleared a rack, you'd get a new table that was not necessarily rectangular or standard. The tables got crazier and crazier the higher up the ladder you went. If I become fabulously wealthy, I'm going to make the Lunar Pool tables a reality.

10. I played a lot of baseball games on all systems, and the toughest learning curve often surrounded switching controlled players, if it wasn't automatic. Until you could figure it out ... well, I'm hoping I'm not the only one who dejectedly had the catcher sprint out to the outfield to retrieve a bloop single that rolled to the wall.

11. Speaking of baseball games, I'm not remembering the titles of the games I recall fondly, but one was for NES and Mr. T was in the dugout (seriously) for some teams, and another game, I forget the system, had a team called the Paris Fries, and they had the league leading home run hitter, named "Abel." Can someone help me out with those? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

12. It's no Tiger Woods, but Mario Golf is surprisingly playable. Outlaw Golf is not.

13. I suck at fighting games. I never have the finger speed of my opponent, and by the time I try to do special moves ("let's see ... Z+L1+L1+hold X..."), my ass is on the ground.

14. People forget it because of the relative success of Pole Position, but the Atari 2600 auto racing game Enduro was definitely a forefather of today's racing games. I speak of the fact that you had to hold down the joystick button (remember, there was only one button on the Atari 2600 joystick) throughout the whole game. Your thumb would ache after awhile, so the name fit.

15. Sometime in the mid-'90s I wasted a month playing a FIFA soccer game, I forget which. But the announcer was delightful, and announced the "Man of the Match" after each game. One game, I discovered my opponent had a player named Dede, which the announcer pronounced as "dead." So, naturally, I started playing that team, made Dede score five goals, so I could hear the announcer say, "Here's the man of the match, dead!"

16. You've probably read about the Arena Football video games coming out, but c'mon, isn't NFL Blitz basically arena ball already? And is there a CFL video game? Note to self: Google "CFL video game" after you finish writing this.

17. I think the next frontier for sports games is the introduction of actual video into regular gameplay ... that is, your video game will not look any different than watching a game on television. How great will that be? In our lifetimes, I think.

18. Conversely, I would pay big bucks to make actual football games more like video games. Specifically, when Chris Simms throws a touchdown pass to Joey Galloway, I want Galloway to run across the end zone with his finger in the air, and then have the cameraman cut to Simms jump, raise his arms, and then pump his fist, while the lower half of the screen is black and says "TOUCHDOWN Joey Galloway" in white letters as the appropriate accompanying music plays. No post-game show, just a screen with statistics against a blue background while a chirpy but sad song plays. Yes, I want them to make a live NFL game, graphically, just like Tecmo Bowl. I can't be the only one.

19. I hope we are close to the point where not only do the college basketball games have all 330-odd Division 1 team, but gets all of their home courts just right. It seems like they just slap the school logo in the middle of the court for some lesser schools. Do some homework. College football, too.

20. One joy that sports games offer that few others can is a level of absurd domination that allows you to accomplish the sublime. On my watch, Akron has won both the football and basketball national championships, and Kazakhstan has won the World Cup. Barry Sanders got 563 yards in a Tecmo Bowl game (it was only later a friend clued me in on Bo Jackson being capable of scoring on every play), and I got Merton Hanks 17 interceptions in a game.

Every time I got the ball, I punted on first down so that I would stay on defense. I would also go down right away on each interception so as to not risk a touchdown and hence waste time with mandatory kicking plays. I won 7-0, letting Hanks finally run it in on the last play of the game. I don't know why I didn't let it go to overtime.

21. If your game allows you to make unbalanced trades, and you pull one of those stunts like trading Danny Wuerffel for Michael Strahan, Tom Brady, Shaun Alexander and Chad Johnson, you are not a man.*

* Exempt if you do it to accomplish an absurd record as described in item 20.

Posted by Kevin Beane at 6:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 7, 2006

NBA Finals: First-Time Charmers

Has it really been 35 years? Richard Nixon was in office. Woody Allen's Bananas had barely scratched the surface of American comedy. National Public Radio started up their flagship show, All Things Considered (had to acknowledge my NPR board job in college at some point).

Yeah, you can also say that 1971 was the last time two teams met in their NBA Finals debuts. Names including Oscar Robertson, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (Lew Alcindor back then), Wes Unseld, and Earl "The Pearl" Monroe highlighted a tussle between the Milwaukee Bucks and the Baltimore Bullets (currently the Washington Wizards). Sure, it was more of a rout than a series (Milwaukee won 4-0), but it still marked a lost piece of pro ball history.

Even in the expansion era of the NBA, we haven't seen two franchises simultaneously make this big of a statement in over a generation. Nine organizations have debuted in the NBA Finals since 1971. However, all of these occurrences were solo acts.

At the beginning of this season, two-thirds of the league had been to the final series, even if they didn't make it there with their current location or name (and we can't really expect the Bobcats to make it in their second year of existence).

That left nine teams which could complete the unattainable before November. Six made the playoffs, but the squads with the best chances of reaching this level were Miami and Dallas. Now, having dispatched of the title favorites (Detroit and San Antonio), these two whipping posts and also-rans will duke it out for trophy number one.

I believe we should cherish this moment in basketball history because in my estimation, this is the last time you'll see it happen — ever. Three Eastern Conference teams and five Western foes have yet to reach the Finals. But most of these teams need to make some drastic improvements before stepping up against the conference studs, let alone getting past them.

Something you can say for the Heat and Mavericks .... one will make sure that the Association passes the halfway point when talking about franchises with at least one championship. Yet, who will that team be? Nothin' to it but to get right to the arguments.

Put Your Five on the Floor

The potential starting squads will have some cause defensive problems for each team. Of course, most of it centers around Shaq (20.1 ppg, 9.6 rpg), a man who will make it very difficult Big D's bigs. The perimeter has been controlled by Dwyane Wade. Flash leads the team in points (26.2), assists (6.4), and ridiculously sick layups (that Baryshnikov move was too sweet). Even when he was sick, D. Wade got his double-double in Game 6 versus the Pistons. Josh Howard may slow him down, but only by a bit.

As far as the Mavs go, their main strengths start on the outside. Dirk Nowitzki proved that he can go Kobe on a team with his 50-spot in Game 5 against Phoenix. Now, he won't have to deal with Raja Bell hounding him. Jason Terry and Howard have been logistical nightmares for defensive schemes. Their slashing athleticism has been a great two-three punch for the seven-foot German.

Advantage — Dallas, due to their team aggression.

Make the Most of Your Reserves

Miami's acquisition of big-name vets last summer paid off. Unfortunately, this group solidified the starting lineup more than anything else. The Heat have only gone about seven deep in the postseason, with Alonzo Mourning providing a smattering of minutes. Due to Avery Johnson's adjustments, the Mavs boast 10 players with double-digit minutes and nine playing in double-digit games. Dallas might sport more newbies and no-names, but they all understand their roles.

Advantage — Stays with Big D.

Those Who Can Do Pass it Along

I love Johnson as a coach. He's fiery, funny, and creative. He's already outgunned the Suns and outfoxed three-time champ Greg Poppovich. Plus, he has played under Popps on that 1999 championship Spurs team.

However, that doesn't compare to a man who has given three different franchises and nine different teams a shot at winning the O'Brien trophy. The grandfather of the slick-back hairdo might have done Stan Van Gundy wrong, but Riles proved that the coaching chops are still very vital.

Advantage — Miami. Got to give it to the man with four titles.

Because You Can't See Them Doesn't Mean They're Not There

Sure, you can't really measure intangibles, but let's say you could. I believe Miami has more hunger and sympathy heading into the series. Shaq wants to prove he can still be a title-shifting force. Wade thrives to bring the trophy to South Beach. Payton and Antoine Walker are fighting for their long-awaited rings. And if you aren't pulling for Alonzo Mourning to win his championship, I'm sorry, but you have no soul.

So give a couple imaginary categories to the Heat. Then again, Dallas deserves some love, as well. The Mavericks get the nod in the drive and grit statistics. Over the long haul, these Texas tornadoes have had a consistent head of steam. Memphis provided no threat, San Antonio didn't shake them, and Phoenix couldn't keep up. Oh, and the grit part, let's not forget that the Mavs won every one of their series on the road.

Advantage — Dallas. Growls and tears only get you so far.

There are so many questions in this series, it will be nothing but fun to find out how they're solved. I would like it if Wade's acrobatics and Mourning's heart could get Miami another sports title. But a little of me ... hell, a lot of me wants to see that Evil Emperor Mark Cuban ecstatic over ruling the basketball world. Am I the only one noticing David Stern shivering over the thought?

Final prediction — Dallas takes it home in six games.

Check the BetFirms NBA odds to see who will be favored for each game and win more bets by signing up for picks from top handicappers.

Posted by Jonathan Lowe at 6:19 PM | Comments (0)

World Cup Preview: Group G

Group G

Group G features World Cup contender France, along with Switzerland, South Korea, and tournament newcomer Togo. There should be very little drama with who finishes atop the group, but after that, nothing is certain.

France

What you need to know — The 1998 World Champs and 2000 Euro Champs have gone through a dry spell of late. Their qualification was in such jeopardy that Zinedine Zidane, Lilian Thuram, and Claude Makelele were coaxed out of international retirement to help secure a World Cup place. I guess Michel Platini wasn't taking any calls.

Style — Gifted with numerous attacking options, Les Bleus seem to have shifted their concentration to defense, where they have become unusually stingy. They allowed two goals in all of qualifying, part of which can be attributed to their combative midfield duo of Patrick Vieira and Makelele. The midfielder's commitment to defense allows France's wing fullbacks Willy Sagnol and Eric Abidal to move forward and feed star strikers like Thierry Henry and David Trezeguet. They also have creative midfielders like Florent Malouda and Zidane who can feed the frontline, as well.

Achilles heel — Age. Zidane is far removed from the player he was when he guided France to the 1998 title, and no one has really stepped in to take his place. They also have a huge problem in goal, as Fabian Barthez was named the starter ahead of Gregory Coupet. Coupet has been impeccable form for Lyon over the past two seasons, while Barthez is known for committing at least one inexplicable gaffe every game, which often leads to unnecessary chances for France's opposition.

Player you need to know — Thierry Henry. The Arsenal striker trails only Ronaldinho in overall skill level. Anyone who followed the Gunners' Champions League campaign knows Henry stands out above the highest talent football has to offer.

Player you will learn to know — They have plenty of stars, but one of their players who might make an impact is uncapped Marseille creative midfielder Frank Ribery, who will be called upon if Zidane is incapable of rediscovering his form.

Prediction — They have the talent to win the tournament, but something troubles me about this team. They'll win the group, I have no doubt about that, but I'm not buying into the common perception of them being labeled as a slumbering giant. Henry is good enough to take them all the way, but coach Raymond Domenech doesn't allow him the same freedom that enjoys with his club, which stifles the French attack. And with their age, the tight turnaround, and Zidane's less than stellar age, I believe the quarterfinals are as far as they go.

Switzerland

What you need to know — Surprise qualifiers, escaping a tough qualifying group that included France and Ireland before upending 2002 World Cup semifinalists Turkey in a two-game playoff.

Style — They are more dangerous than they look. Switzerland has potential to cause problems in their set pieces, as well as up front with some creative strikers.

Achilles heel — Defense. They had a relatively smooth qualifying at the back, but gave up four goals against Turkey in their second playoff game (Switzerland advanced on the away goals rule), and in the 2004 European championships, they gave up 3 goals in each of their games to France and England.

Player you need to know — Alexander Frei. The Rennes striker had a little bit of a down year for his club, but the past two seasons he had been in terrific form, tallying 19 goals each season. He was also Switzerland's leading scorer in qualifying with seven.

Player you will learn to know — Daniel Gygax. The Lille winger could make a big difference for Switzerland – he has pace and can finish, as he showed against Italy in a recent friendly.

Prediction — They will never have a better chance of advancing to the second round, and they should do it. For once, they appear to be one of the more experienced teams in their group, and despite the country's penchant for expecting failure, which former Swiss teams have been quick to accommodate, they should be marching to the round of 16, but not farther than that.

South Korea

What you need to know — The 2002 World Cup semifinalists have fallen on some tough times of late. They finished behind Saudi Arabia in qualifying, losing to them twice, and will no longer be taken for granted based on their tremendous run at home in the last World Cup.

Style — In 2002, they were known for their stinging pace that they maintained right until the semifinals when, appearing fatigued, were knocked off by Germany. They still attempt to keep that blistering pace, but to varying degrees of success, as recent form would suggest.

Achilles heel — Dick Advocaat. Their Dutch coach is famous for making one of the biggest substitution blunders in any tournament (see Paul Bosvelt for Arjen Robben in the 2004 Euros), and I have every confidence he will be as inept with this team as he was with the Dutch.

Player you need to know — Ji Sung Park. The former PSV dynamo and current Manchester United winger is South Korea's true star, although he has failed to make a significant impact in England.

Player you will learn to know — Young Pyo Lee. The former PSV man who now plays left fullback for Tottenham in North London is dangerous getting forward on the wing and will be relied upon to help spearhead the Korean attack.

Prediction — I don't like the way they qualified, I don't like their current form displayed in friendlies, I don't like their coach and I don't like the fact that they have never won a game in the World Cup not played in South Korea. In addition to all of that, based on their past World Cup success, they won't be taken lightly — all of which translates to a first round exit.

Togo

What you need to know — Another miracle qualifier from Africa, this is their first World Cup appearance. They knocked out 2002 World Cup quarterfinalists Senegal in what could be the most unlikely qualification in the history of Africa. The only other major tournament they have ever qualified for is the Africa Cup of Nations, where they have never made it out of the first round.

Style — They do score goals, and they also allow them, as well. They averaged two goals a game in qualifying (including five in two games against Senegal) and they also gave up the most in the Africa Cup of Nations this winter, conceding seven in just three games.

Achilles heel — This could be the least talented team in the entire tournament, rivaling Trinidad & Tobago. They were extremely unimpressive in Egypt this winter (losing to Congo, Cameroon, and Angola), and their friendlies have been nothing to write home about.

Player you need to know — Emmanuel Adebayor. The current Arsenal striker led all of Africa in qualifying scoring with 11 goals. The lone Togolese star must carry his squad if they are to have any chance of going through.

Player you will learn to know — Kossi Agassa. The Metz backup goalkeeper will either be picking balls out of the back of his net or making some spectacular saves, as the man called "magic hands" figures to get lots of work.

Prediction — If Togo gets out of the group, I might go there to help them celebrate. I know anything can happen, but surely not this.

Posted by Piet Van Leer at 6:03 PM | Comments (0)

Too Much, Too Soon

Five Quick Hits

* There hasn't been a bigger shock in tennis this year than Nadia Petrova's first-round loss to Akiko Morigami in the French Open. I know injury was involved, but this was a rout (6-2, 6-2), not a withdrawal.

* Attention casual tennis fans: Andy Roddick has been decidedly mediocre for months now. James Blake is by far the best North American tennis player in the world. Even on clay.

* I know Barry Bonds has a good eye, and no one wants to give up a historic home run, but it's pretty ridiculous for a guy hitting .258 to have a .484 on-base percentage.

* The American League all-star voting is a farce. The top vote-getter at every position plays for Boston or New York, except outfield, where Manny Ramirez (Boston) is second and Johnny Damon (New York) is third. Which is so much better.

* How the hell is Johnny Damon ahead of Jermaine Dye and Vernon Wells?

***

On December 17, 2005, the Indianapolis Colts clinched homefield advantage throughout the AFC playoffs. They were 13-0, had more than doubled their opponents' scores (392-185), were winning by an average of 16 points per game, and looked unstoppable. A pair of late-season defeats were mildly troubling, but ultimately didn't worry many people; the Colts had already done what they came to do — secure the AFC's top seed in the postseason.

On January 15, 2006, the Colts lost their first playoff game, eliminated by the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Halfway through the NFL's regular season, analysts were anointing the Colts as a perfect team, even discussing whether they might be the best team in history. It's natural to get excited about a team making a run at history, but the last year has seen more than its share of premature excitement about a historic team.

Besides the NFL's Colts, consider the NHL's Ottawa Senators, who didn't lose their fourth game until December and were a prohibitive Stanley Cup favorite before the season was halfway over. The Sens slowed down later in the season, but still earned the top seed in the Eastern Conference. They lost to the Buffalo Sabres in the second round of the playoffs.

In college football, the USC Trojans had an undefeated regular season some people found so impressive, it inspired ESPN to declare them the greatest team in the history of the sport — before they had even played their bowl game! The problem, of course, is that USC lost the Rose Bowl. They had been declared the greatest of all champions before they were even champions.

Most recently, the NBA's Detroit Pistons have been favored to win the Eastern Conference crown, if not the outright championship, since before the season started. Their 64-18 regular-season record was among the best in history, and a 37-5 start had people talking about Detroit as one of the greatest teams ever assembled.

The Pistons easily won the top playoff seed in the Eastern Conference, and they had little difficulty in a 4-1 series victory over Milwaukee in the first round of the playoffs. However, the second round offered an unexpectedly difficult series against LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers, and in the third round, Detroit was eliminated by the Miami Heat.

Of these prematurely anointed teams, only USC even reached the championship game before suffering elimination. In the last 12 months, nothing has been worse for sports teams than to do extraordinarily — even historically — well before the start of the postseason. It's impossible to say exactly why they've failed to live up to expectations in the playoffs; any number of possible explanations have merit, and even bad luck isn't out of the question.

The Colts, in particular, have been accused of choking. The Senators were clearly not the same dominating force at the end of the regular season that they were for the first two months. USC probably was never quite as good as the hype. The Pistons may have run out of gas.

One factor that unites all four teams is hype. The sports media love a shot at history, and they don't mind talking about it months before history-making is actually possible. The pressure and attention that come with being at the top, being constantly monitored, are tremendous. Enough to make a group of professionals (yes, USC counts) choke in the postseason? Maybe not. But in recent months, there hasn't been anything worse than being the best.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 4:57 PM | Comments (0)

June 6, 2006

World Cup Preview: Group F

Group F

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that Brazil will win this group. The race for second, though, is anything but clear, as Australia, Croatia, and Japan will all feel as if they have a chance to advance behind Brazil for a spot in the round of 16.

Brazil

What you need to know — They standout as the deepest, most talented, dominant team in a field of deep, talented, and dominant teams. The five-time world champions sit as 2-1 favorites to take home the title.

Style — It doesn't get better than watching the Selecao. They play the most beautiful, attacking football in the game, and why shouldn't they — they have virtually the best player on the planet at every position. Their depth is unparalleled — it wouldn't be a stretch to say their reserve team would still be one of the contenders for the title.

Weaknesses — None that I know of. Okay, Dida didn't have a great year for AC Milan, and Cafu and Roberto Carlos aren't exactly young at the wing backs, but there is still no reason to think they will be liabilities. The only thing working against this squad is 1982 — when just as talented a side didn't get out of second round in Spain, finishing behind Italy. And that is something members of this team have openly referred to, and vowed not to repeat.

Player you need to know — Ronaldinho. Okay, you probably already know him. He's the best player in the world, no arguments. And in the mode of the Tiger Slam, Ronaldinho has a chance to pull off the "Ronnie fin" this year — he is already the reigning FIFA and European Player of the Year, plus he has guided his club team Barcelona to La Liga and Champions League titles. The World Cup would complete his run as having the greatest footballing year ever. Oh, he is an absolute treat to watch. His creative skills (I mean, have you seen his Nike commercial?) combined with his goal-scoring ability make him the only must-watch this summer.

Player you will learn to know — Adriano. The best left foot in the game. I could have picked Kaka here, as well, but the Inter striker is bound to score more goals, and Kaka's genius might be offset by the dazzling King Ronnie.

Prediction — Sorry to spoil the ending for you, but they will win the group, and then every game that follows. I don't care what happened in 1982 — this team is way too talented not to win it all. Look at it this way — Juninho Pernambucano and Robinho can't even find a starting spot. If they were on the United States team, they would be far and away the best players. Strange things have happened before, but if Brazil doesn't win the World Cup this time around, I would be flabbergasted.

Australia

What you need to know — They have been one of the more talented teams in previous years not to have made the World Cup finals, and that is because they had lost in all of their playoff qualifiers — first to Argentina in 1994, then to Iran in 1998, and finally to Uruguay in 2002. But after 32 years of heartbreak, the Socceroos finally qualified by way of a shootout, ousting Uruguay in a dramatic two legged playoff last November.

Style — The biggest reason for Australia's qualification was their coach, Guus Hiddink. The Dutch maestro has made consecutive semifinal appearances in each of the last two World Cups with the Netherlands and South Korea respectively, and has now worked his magic with the Socceroos. He has brought in a determined, disciplined system that has cut-down on mistakes and thrived on accountability. In their victory over Uruguay, the Aussies did a much better job of controlling the tempo and possession, which led to many scoring chances.

Weaknesses — They are aging at the back and have injury worries. Harry Kewell is on the mend, as is Tim Cahill. And for all the chances they did create against Uruguay, they managed just one goal — they will have to do a better job of converting opportunities.

Player you need to know — Harry Kewell. The Liverpool midfielder is the catalyst for his national team. He hasn't quite found the form at Anfield that he displayed at Leeds, but he remains Australia's most dangerous offensive player.

Player you will learn to know — Mark Bresciano. The Parma man is one of the hardest working midfielders in Serie A, and has a nose for the goal, as he proved in Italy this season with eight tallies. He might be the most worrisome player for opposing teams.

Prediction — Australia is fanatical when it comes to their sports. In their win over Uruguay, more than 80,000 packed the stands, and the team is aware of the pride their country places in them. The atmosphere surrounding this club will reach epic proportions when they play Croatia in their final group game — not only because it will likely be for a spot in the second round, but also because of the familiarity between the two teams. Three of the Croatian team members were born and raised in Australia, and seven of the Australian team members have Croatian roots. But I believe Hiddink's managerial ability will ultimately prove to be the decisive factor, and Australia will emerge as the second-place finisher in this group. Anything after that is unexpected, and a bonus.

Croatia

What you need to know — Qualified by winning a tough group that featured Sweden and Euro 2004 qualifier Bulgaria. And even though their country is young, they do have some history — they made it to the semis in the 1998 World Cup, and qualified for both the 2002 World Cup and 2004 European Championships.

Style — A good defense and some opportunistic finishing from some in form strikers. They might not be as talented as they were in the '90s when Zvonimir Boban and Davor Suker were playing, but they are still plenty dangerous. They outscored opponents 21-5 in qualifying while going undefeated.

Weaknesses — Their midfield does not possess the same quality found in attack or the defense, and that leads to inconsistency. They have failed to get out of the group stage in each of their last two major tournaments. In 2002, they beat their toughest group member Italy, but lost to Mexico and Ecuador. And in 2004, they drew with France, but couldn't score against Switzerland and got smoked by England. In qualifying, they did beat Sweden twice by 1-0 scores each time, but were almost undone by a draw at Malta, which is unfathomable (to give it some perspective, Malta lost at home 7-0 to Sweden).

Player you need to know — Ivan Klasnic. The Werder Bremen striker was in prime form for his club this season, scoring 15 goals in the Bundesliga. Klasnic was relatively quiet in qualifying, but he should be extra motivated for a World Cup in the country where he plays professionally and where he was born.

Player you will learn to know — Dario Srna. The 24-year-old midfielder is less than prolific for his Ukrainian club Shahktar Donestk, but he is a force with his national team. Srna had the only goals in the both of their wins over Sweden, and tied Dado Prso for the team lead in qualifying with five.

Prediction — They can certainly compete with the best, but their erratic form and shaky midfield makes me hesitant about their ability to string together three successive strong efforts. I think they will bow out before the round of 16.

Japan

What you need to know — Their third consecutive World Cup, and they managed to get out the group stage in 2002 for the first time, but failed to advance to the quarterfinals despite having the home field advantage.

Style — They are the most skilled team of the Asian region, especially in their midfield where familiar names Hidetoshi Nakata, Shunsuke Nakamura, and Junichi Inamoto roam, as well as some unfamiliar ones like Shinji Ono and Mitsuo Ogasawara. They will push their offense through this well-balanced and experienced midfield.

Weaknesses — Scoring has been a problem, although having watched Naohiro Takahara put two past Jens Lehmann the other day, you wouldn't think it. The other obvious dilemma is this team could only get out of weak group at home in a World Cup — how far can we expect them to go in a tougher group in Europe?

Player you need to know — Shunsuke Nakamura. The Celtic midfielder is the best of the lot on this team and has applied his trade successfully in Europe since 2002.

Player you will learn to know — Naohiro Takahara. The Hamburg forward was sparingly used this season, and criticized his coach for it. He is hoping to use this World Cup in Germany as preview for what he is capable of bringing to his Bundesliga club Frankfurt next season.

Prediction — With the Bazilian legend Zico at the helm, Japan hopes some of his legend will rub off on the team. I am less optimistic. They have talent and heart, as they proved against Germany with a 2-2 draw, but this group will be too much for them. If there is a glimmer of hope, they play Brazil last, and the Selecao in all likelihood will have already clinched the top seed of their group, meaning that Japan might not see their regulars in the starting lineup. The only problem is Brazil's reserves are really, really good, and will be hungry to demonstrate to Brazil coach Carlos Alberto Parreira why they should be starting instead of languishing on the bench.

Posted by Piet Van Leer at 11:43 PM | Comments (3)

OLN Should Revamp NHL Programming

The Outdoor Life Network (OLN) took a big gamble last summer when it inked a TV broadcast deal with the National Hockey League. It was a lackluster deal at best — OLN only aired games on Monday and Tuesday nights (mostly), severely limiting viewers' watching options.

But waging on a pro sports league that's lost $10 billion over the last decade and suffered beyond-abysmal TV ratings isn't a risk that many established channels are willing to take. So, OLN coined "Hockey Central" as its less-than-riveting slogan, as though it was competing against another American TV channel for the title. However, OLN has not done much to rein in fans who may have felt abandoned by the NHL's lockout year and has all but guaranteed that no new fans will jump on board.

How is this possible?

Well, aside from the aforementioned constraints on game broadcast schedules, OLN, in its attempt to be the center of hockey, has aired various hockey related programs intended to spark interest in the game away from the game — behind-the-scenes documentaries and satirical sitcoms about youth hockey leagues, to name a few. However, where OLN has stumbled is in its continuous re-running of said sitcoms and documentaries.

There's the "Fearless" episode about Mario Lemiuex's tumultuous, roller coaster career and his battle with Hodgkin's disease, there are the two documentaries about Mark Messier — one in which they tail the legend around New York City on the eve of the Rangers' raising his No. 11 jersey into the rafters of perpetuity in Madison Square Garden; the other about his adult "dream" hockey camp.

These three shows aren't the only ones constantly being replayed throughout OLN's NHL playoff coverage. "The Tournament" is a witty series, an over-dramatic parody about parents who become uber-involved in their kids' youth hockey team and its efforts to reach "the tournament." This includes a plot line where the elitist doctor father clashes with the father-who-never-made-it-pro-but-is-certain-his-kid-will over who's going to be the new coach after the latter dad gave the previous coach a heart attack during an argument about his son getting benched (the show's relevance and veracity is scary).

Then there's the ubiquitous "Darren McCarty returns to Detroit" documentary about McCarty, who was traded to the Calgary Flames, and his first game in Joe Louis Arena after leaving the Red Wings. (This documentary isn't even from the 2005-06 season — it's from 2003-04.)

All of these shows deliver fantastic insights into the non-competitive side of hockey and are worth the time to watch. But OLN's alarming repetitiveness in re-running these shows multiple times a week — sometimes more than once a day — seems to have more of an alienating effect than one that entices new viewers to take a taste of OLN's version of the NHL. Seasoned fans may find it annoying and tune out OLN entirely and seek out its offerings via the Internet (here is where the author is cited as an example).

On the flip side, OLN may be cautiously optimistic, if not fully supportive. As mentioned before, the NHL has never been a beacon of ratings supremacy like the NFL or NASCAR. OLN's producers have every right to test the programming patterns in an attempt to determine what works and what does not. There is no sense in investing the time or capital in creating alternative hockey television projects if the existing ones don't turn a profit. But he point still remains that in doing so, the quality of its current product declines, regardless of the logical undertones.

OLN's broadcast schedules have been mitigated by the intensity and regularity of the NHL playoffs. The first two rounds saw multiple games aired every night of the week. OLN has successfully grasped how to broadcast the NHL — sound, knowledgeable commentators and copious pre-, post-, and mid-game highlights, along with visually inviting commercials.

Importing NHL recap shows from Canada's TSN also gives a look into how Hockey's Country sees the game. Now OLN must stop airing re-runs at its current nauseating level of consistency. And during the next regular season, maybe it can avoid scheduling evenings of afternoon-like ESPN programming and diversify its NHL coverage. Complacency will do nothing but deter viewers from stopping by "Hockey Central."

Posted by Jeff DiNunzio at 11:18 PM | Comments (1)

French Open: Les Miserables Part Umpteen

No, you're wrong! This is neither just another article about the misery of Americans on the red clay of Roland Garros, nor about the famous Victor Hugo novel about the French Revolution.

Last year, I wrote a fairly harsh article about the British fans and how they should cherish Tim Henman and quit their whining about how he can't win the big one, etc. I criticized everything from the bad attitude that they have during Tim's matches to how unrealistic their expectations were regarding Tim's achievements. I claimed Tim Henman lived with the most unfair group of fans on earth. I received a fair amount of angry feedback from some of them.

Well, I owe the British fans an apology.

In two days of watching Roland Garros, I firmly conclude that the French belong right up there with the British, if not higher. I also conclude that although British have dirtier mouths when watching one of their own, the French's words are more piercing and downright mean on a personal level.

I thought winning Wimbledon was a tough task for Tim Henman. In the last 48 hours, I have spent a few hours watching Roland Garros with the French in Paris bistros, along with several other hours live at Roland Garros. I conclude that if at the time Tim's task of winning Wimbledon was tough, Amelie Mauresmo's task of winning the French Open is impossible.

The way French tennis fans behaved while watching Amelie lose to Nicole Vaidisova and Gael Monfils lose to Djokovic, they outperformed Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh by a kilometer and a half. As a matter of fact, they were so negative that I admired their ability to withstand severe mood swings when I saw some of the same people cheering and declaring Julien Benneteau a true hero following his wins. While I am happy for the French guy for reaching the quarters, I can't help but say "Pauvre Julien!" to myself thinking of the day when he will be ousted either by Ivan Ljubicic or Rafael Nadal in the next couple of days.

That's right! Even if he loses to Nadal...

Imagine dealing with the following questions from the French media (translated, of course):

"This quarterfinals appearance seems like a joke. Is this also your feeling?"

"Do you feel that stars are on your side since last week?"

"If Ruben Ramirez wins against Ljubicic, you will be the favorite. How will that feel for once?" Thank God Ramirez didn't win and Julien can be an "outsider" (word taken directly from the French commentators).

How about these comments from the TV guys during their match (again, translated):

"Disgusting" (after a Mauresmo miss in the third game of third set versus Vaidisova).

"Don't let us down" (following a mistake by Monfils during the first set tiebreaker against Djokovic).

"Get your head back to the court" (to Mauresmo while she was down a break in the second set).

Let's follow it up with written media's comments about Mauresmo's defeat:

"Mauresmo, as usual, lets the curtain close early. Without joy or glory!"

"Anesthetic strokes, paralyzed tactics, techniques."

"Frozen dreams."

"Without being too patriotic or homophobic, one can find logic in Amelie's defeat."

Say what? Oh my! And these were comments in the public eye? You bet!

As far as what the general population in the street say in bistros or at Roland Garros, I will refrain from comment, considering numerous young tennis fans may read this article. It's bad when Yannick Noah makes a comment about not being sure if he could win the French Open now, if he was in his prime. He added that it was "tougher now." Call me crazy, but I have a feeling he is not saying that because the players are better today.

I will be at Roland Garros on Tuesday again. I will enjoy watching four girls from four different countries and two highly-seeded guys battle it out on Suzanne Lenglen. They will not be French. They will not be dissected with passion by the crowd. I am sure I will enjoy every moment and listen to comments around me without cringing.

I finally conclude with pleasure that I will not be there Wednesday when Julien Benneteau plays!

Posted by Mert Ertunga at 11:03 PM | Comments (3)

June 5, 2006

NBA Finals: A Time For Firsts

When it comes to playoff basketball, experience matters.

It is the cagy veterans and experienced coaches that are the difference after the regular season is done.

That's why many thought it would be Detroit vs. San Antonio right now. They had been to the finals before, they knew what to expect, and they knew how to handle themselves.

As it turns out, cagy veterans might as well mean aging veterans, and experienced coaches might as well mean exasperated coaches for the Pistons and Spurs.

For the first time since Milwaukee beat Baltimore in the 1971 NBA Finals, we have two teams facing off that have never been to the championship series before.

The Dallas Mavericks have never made a finals appearance in their 26 years of existence, and the Miami Heat have never gotten this far in their 18 years in the league.

There is a whole list of questions that come to mind when looking ahead to Game 1 of the Mavs vs. the Heat.

Looking at two teams making their first trips to the NBA Finals, how do you evaluate the x-factor if there is no experience?

What does it mean for a league that has gone 35 years since it's last NBA Finals rookie vs. NBA Finals rookie matchup?

What does it mean for basketball fans if it feels like there is a lack of history in this series?

Does the emergence of the Heat and the Mavs signal a changing of the guard in both conferences?

It really is intriguing when you look at it. For the first time in 35 years, broadcasters won't be able to play footage of the last time the teams were in the Finals. They won't be able to look back and compare the current rosters to the heroes of past championships. There is little history to go on for two teams that have a combined 40-four year history in the league.

How much insight can you really get by comparing their head-to-head regular season records, especially when they only played twice (and once with Shaq on the bench)?

Where are the Lakers? Where are the Celtics? Where are the Knicks? Where are the Pistons? Where are the Spurs?

Isn't this the reason why the Grammy's have a whole category dedicated to new artists? It just wouldn't be fair to match them up against the veterans of rock (although they might be all right against Jethro Tull). The regular categories are more exciting because everybody wants to see who is making a comeback, and who's still rocking after falling out of a palm tree, and who put their best album out since the late 1970's.

While fewer people may care about the Best New Artist category, there is certainly less pressure than if you were rookie band going against U2 for an award.

That is one of the reasons that the Miami vs. Dallas matchup will be competitive. Lack of pressure.

If it had been the Mavs against the Pistons, everybody would be talking about the tough road the Mavs have ahead of them. After beating the Spurs in seven games, and then taking the Suns in six, they would have to take on the perennial Eastern Conference power. Imagine the pressure Dallas would have felt. A newbie to the NBA Finals going against a team with one of the best NBA Finals resumes in the league.

The same would have gone for Miami if they would have faced the Spurs. It wasn't enough to topple the reigning Eastern Conference champion, but now they would have to move on to beat the reigning NBA Finals champion. Once again, imagine the pressure. Imagine the questions Pat Riley would have faced, asking him if he was worried about taking his team into a series against such an experienced rival.

Two teams that have never been there before — that's a little less pressure on each.

As far as individual playoff experience goes, there is plenty.

For the Heat, Shaquille O'Neal has already played in the Finals five times, with three rings.

Pat Riley has coached in the Finals eight times, and walked away with four rings.

And for the Mavs, coach Avery Johnson took home a ring after San Antonio's 1999 NBA Finals win.

So, there are storylines and motivations and histories to delve through after all. They are just on different levels.

More than any matchup in recent NBA Finals history, this series will be about individuals. Pat Riley seeking redemption after rebuilding the Heat roster in the offseason. Riley attempting to prove to the world that he is still a world-class coach (as if getting the Heat this far wasn't enough). Shaq trying to make good on his promise to bring a championship to Miami. Young Dwyane Wade playing on the biggest stage for the first time. Avery Johnson trying to win a ring in his first season coaching against an opposing coach that already has four. Dirk Nowitzki showing that he is an MVP-type player that can lead his team in clutch situations. The Mavs trying to win a title Jerome Bettis-style for Darrell Armstrong and Jerry Stackhouse (the two oldest veterans on the Dallas roster).

There will be talk about dynasties, even if Detroit and San Antonio are only tangentially involved in the conversations. The focus will be on the staying power of the Heat and Mavs. On whether or not the Heat's aging roster can sustain one (maybe two) more flourishes of greatness. Whether the Mavs can withstand another grueling year in the West against the Suns and Spurs.

Of course, if Pat Riley was this successful in building a team that could contend for a title, why couldn't he do it again next year? Shaq will still be viable for another year or two, and it doesn't appear that Wade is going anywhere anytime soon. With two large parts of the foundation set, the slick-haired master could conceivably keep enough players around his stars to compete for a ring in the coming years.

And it seems like Dirk Nowitzki is just reaching the zenith of his potential. His 50-point performance in Game 5 was simply amazing, and more and more he appears like the kind of player that is bound to have "NBA Finals MVP" after his name a couple of times in the record books. And with a zealous owner like Mark Cuban, one has to believe that the Mavs will be in a great position to contend for the immediate future.

Which is why this matchup is so intriguing on so many levels. The individual storylines. The glimpse of the possible dynasties of the next five years. Veterans trying to prove they still have it. Young stars trying to prove they belong. Great players on the cusp of becoming legendary. And, of course, Desagna Diop.

Okay, maybe not so much the last one.

For the first time in 35 years, the NBA Finals feature two teams making their first appearances. One will go home with their first championship, and one will go home with another year added to their championship drought.

Who will prevail?

Well, if anybody read one of my last articles, you would know that I predicted a Heat vs. Suns finale, so in lieu of making a prediction for this round, I will simply leave you with one of my favorite lines from the Sports Night episode, "The Cut Man Cometh."

"When it comes to the sweet science, I'm not much on predictions, Casey, but I will say this: one of these fighters is gonna win this bout tonight and the other will almost surely not." — Chuck Kimmel

Posted by Vince Grzegorek at 4:44 PM | Comments (0)

Stanley Cup Final Predictions

At the beginning of the 2005-2006 NHL season, anyone who would have predicted an Edmonton/Carolina Stanley Cup Final would have either been locked up in a mental institution or laughed out of the room — or both. But the impossible has come to pass: on one side, you have a Carolina team that may have the deepest set of forwards in the league, and on the other side, you have an Edmonton squad that has come together very quickly after being assembled at the trade deadline. Who will hoist Lord Stanley's Cup? Let's break it down.

Offense

While Edmonton can boast the likes of Ales Hemsky, Ryan Smyth, and Sergei Samsanov, Carolina's group of forwards is much deeper. The Hurricanes essentially have three lines that go do damage comprised of Eric Staal, Rod Brind'Amour, Matt Cullen, Justin Williams, Ray Whitney, Mark Recchi, Doug Weight, and Cory Stillman. That's eight forwards who can play on any team's top line. Throw in their combination of speed and grit (anyone watching the Buffalo/Carolina series knows how powerful the Hurricanes' two-man forecheck can be), and three bona-fide No. 1 centers and you've got yourself a handful.

Advantage Carolina.

Defense

When it comes to defense, one name immediately comes to mind — Chris Pronger. Jason Smith's nearly as effective as a shut-down guy, meaning the Oilers will have a defensive advantage for nearly half the game. Carolina's group, filled with veterans such as Glen Wesley, Aaron Ward, and Bret Hedican, isn't bad by any means, but it doesn't have any standouts like Edmonton. Jaroslav Spacek and Dick Tarnstrom are good offensive defenseman, but have had their battles on the defensive side of the play. Still, it's hard to argue with the Pronger/Smith tandem.

Advantage Edmonton.

Goaltending

When it comes down to pure talent, Cam Ward is hands down better than Dwayne Roloson. However, Roloson's defense is so strong at keeping shots to the outside and pushing away rebounds, that Roloson only has to be pretty good to look great. That's not to say that Roloson hasn't made his share of big saves — however, both San Jose and Anaheim were able to make him look mortal for stretches that lasted more than one game. Cam Ward's come up huge against a very dynamic Buffalo attack, despite sitting out for one game.

Advantage Carolina.

Special Teams

Carolina has the stronger power play. Edmonton has the stronger penalty kill. Who will come out on top? It's difficult to say — other than Detroit (who discovered that their fancy passing styles don't work when Pronger and Smith clog up the middle of the ice), the Oilers haven't had to deal with strong power plays. Yes, San Jose had a good percentage against Nashville before falling to the Oilers, but anyone watching the Sharks could see that they had huge problems with both the outlet pass and taking possession of the puck. Carolina's power play is gritty and sound; Edmonton's penalty kill eats up the slot area and keeps shots away.

This one's a push.

Coaching

Hand it to Craig MacTavish — he saw the weaknesses in each of his opponents (Detroit's overpassing, San Jose's lack of grit, Anaheim's lack of depth) and took advantage. Peter Laviolette knows what he's doing, but MacTavish has got his troops running like a well-oiled machine.

Advantage Edmonton.

Intangibles

It's very critical to note that Edmonton will have been off for over a week. Carolina's break is four days — the number of days that most coaches consider an ideal break between series. Nearly every team facing a long layoff in the playoffs has taken a game or two to find their legs — and against a Carolina team this deep, that may be deadly.

Also, while Pronger and Smith are extremely effective at shutting down the opposition, they've never had to deal with the three attack lines that Carolina is able to throw out. If Pronger/Smith shut down Eric Staal's line, then they have to handle Rod Brind'Amour's. If they handle Brind'Amour's line, out comes Doug Weight's line. Eventually, one of Carolina's many offensive weapons will take advantage of Pronger/Smith being off the ice. Another option is to separate the two, as has been done for stretches during the playoffs, and that may be the best solution considering what Edmonton has to deal with.

Advantage Carolina.

Prediction

At the beginning of the playoffs, I picked Carolina to win the Stanley Cup and I'm sticking with it. They've simply got too much depth at forward, all of their skill guys are willing to play a gritty forechecking game, and they have on of the fastest transitions in the league. Edmonton's strength comes from its stellar defense, but Carolina's unmatched forward depth and ability to bounce back from adversity should put them over the top.

Carolina in six.

Posted by Mike Chen at 4:10 PM | Comments (2)

I Hate Mondays: The Case of the Ex

Miscommunication, heartbreak, and drama.

No, this isn't another Liz Gateley-MTV hit, but this reality series does have similar undertones to "Laguna Beach" or "8th & Ocean."

As the NBA season ended for the Detroit Pistons with a discouraging 95-78 loss to the Miami Heat on Friday night, it was obvious that two rancorous broken hearts missed one another.

Larry Brown probably sat in a rocking chair gazing out the window, imagining what might have been had he stayed in Detroit to coach the Pistons one more season.

Like the thought of Jason incessantly lingers in LC's mind on her new show "The Hills," the fans at the Palace of Auburn Hills might be wondering how their team's season would have changed had they had their main man.

The thought must have also crossed the mind of the Pistons' players, as well, as their season came to an abrupt halt.

During the regular season, under new found love Flip Saunders, the Pistons looked untouchable. It seemed like love at first sight, as their relationship was compared to the 72-win, 1996 Chicago Bulls and a 37-5 start threatened to topple that glorious benchmark.

But at the first sign of adversity in the playoffs, that love was tested.

Much can and will be blamed on Flip as the Pistons did not look crisp out of timeouts, their game-to-game adjustments were half-hearted, and their lackadaisical play single-handedly got Cleveland Cavaliers head coach Mike Brown a contract extension.

But on some levels, it shouldn't have come to this.

On a scripted show, Larry Brown would still be the head coach of the Pistons, Teddy and Britt would be passionately in love, and maybe even Steven and Kristin would be going steady.

The problem is that this is reality television. Egos and emotions are incontrovertible factors.

The Pistons could have benefited from Brown's tutoring, particularly since he knew how to push all the right buttons. But it was their prerogative prior to the season that losing without him would be better than winning with him.

It may sound incomprehensible, but puffed-up personalities have destroyed dynasties before and they will continue to do so in the future. Kobe's Lakers sure could have used the help of Shaquille O'Neal against the Suns this postseason.

Love can quickly turn to hate upon the arrival of the breakup, and ex's always want to go on to bigger and better things to exhibit how much better off they are now.

That's what the Pistons did in the regular season, opening up their scoring game to show up Brown, who used to tightly restrain the offense.

When it came crunch time, though, the Pistons did miss their mate, the one who used to complement them and guide them throughout testing times.

Saunders is a good coach and what he did in Detroit this season was exceptional, but he is not the same caliber as Brown, just like Heidi is not nearly on the same level as LC.

The truth is that the Pistons were better off with what they had before they threw it away, but they won't admit it — very few ex's do.

The Detroit Pistons and Larry Brown mix like Mondays and me.

"Love is a perky little elf dancing a merry little jig, and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun." — Matt Groening

Posted by Dave Golokhov at 3:25 PM | Comments (0)

June 4, 2006

World Cup Preview: Group E

Group E

The United States finds itself smack dab in the middle of the second group of death in this World Cup. Paired with them are former three-time world champion Italy, European powerhouse the Czech Republic, and a supremely talented African side from Ghana. If the United States are to advance out of this group, it would be a monumental achievement of the highest order.

Italy

What you need to know — Don't even look at their ranking (and this won't be the first time I say that in this preview), which according to FIFA places them as the 13th best team in the world. That ranking is a joke of the highest proportions — Italy is one of the five best teams on the planet.

Style — Inventors of the Catanaccio (which is a disciplined system of vigorous defending and timely counter attacks), the Italians have been known to put people to sleep with their low scoring — make that boring — games. But they have been burned recently in national tournaments trying to hold on to 1-0 leads (i.e. the 2000 Euro Final, the second round of the 2002 World Cup and against Sweden in the 2004 Euros). Now Marcello Lippi is at the helm instead of the Catanaccio loving Giovanni Trappatoni, and he has been a breath of fresh air, allowing a free flowing attacking team that has put up 4 goal efforts against Germany and the Netherlands.

Achilles heel — The defense has actually fallen under a little bit of scrutiny — injuries and an unusual lack of depth at the outside fullback positions could make them vulnerable. But an even bigger worry is the match fixing scandal that continues to implicate members of the national team with improprieties that they may have committed with their club teams in Italy. And it is something that figures to loom over the team for the entire tournament, which could affect their performance on the field.

Player you need to know — Francesco Totti. The Roma midfielder is the pivotal link in the Italian attack. His temperament has come under scrutiny (he was suspended during the 2004 European championship for spitting on a player), but his skill level is undeniably brilliant. He is just returning from a broken ankle, but figures to be healthy for the tournament.

Player you will learn to know — Luca Toni. The 6'4" Fiorentina forward set the Italian league ablaze last season with 31 goals, eight more than anyone else in what is a predominantly defensive league. Toni uses his height well, too — he is dangerous in the air and equally skillful on the ground. Toni could be the key if Italy does make a semifinal run.

Prediction — Italy will win this group. There is plenty of talk about the Czech Republic, but make no mistake, this is one of the strongest teams in the entire tournament. They possess everything needed to win the World Cup — a top goaltender, strong defense, and players that can bulge the twine. External factors though (namely the match fixing scandal) could go a long way though in determining how successful their run this summer is. I believe this team is destined for, at the least, a date in the quarterfinals.

Czech Republic

What you need to know — They're ranked second in the world according to FIFA, but they are not the second best team in the country. Are they top 10? Yes, but not top two. They made it to the 2004 European Championship semifinals before losing to tournament Cinderella Greece, but many pundits agreed they were the best team in Portugal that summer.

Style — Another thoroughly talented team, the Czechs matchup well with anyone. They boast offensive stars along with a stingy defense and an outstanding goaltender. Against the United States and Ghana, the Czechs will look to dominate possession and attempt to create scoring chances either through the middle to the quick Milan Baros or in the air with the giant Jan Koller. Against Italy, the Czechs will take a more cautious approach, trying to counter against a more talented side.

Achilles heel — They're not old, but they're not exactly young either. Pavel Nedved temporarily retired from international football in 2004, and then the Czechs struggled without him. They finished well behind the Netherlands for second in their qualification group, and when the 33-year-old Nedved returned for the two-legged playoff with Norway, the Czechs advanced, but not with the relative ease many expected. They are also struggling physically, as many of their key players are hampered by nagging injuries.

Player you need to know — Pavel Nedved. The former European player of the year can be dynamic and will be heavily relied upon to make the offense go. The tireless midfielder had a relatively pedestrian season with his club team Juventus, though, and there are questions if he is past his prime. If he is indeed finished, it could mean that the Czechs are cooked, too.

Player you need to know — Milan Baros. Although he was mediocre with his Aston Villa this season, the forward always seems to shine brightest with his national team. He is quick with the ball, can create and finish, and plays a perfect foil to the bigger Koller.

Prediction — They are the oddsmakers favorites to get through along with Italy, but they are the more vulnerable of the two European powers. If Nedved fails to regain some of his swagger, a lot of the midfield burden will fall onto Tomas Rosicky, who is currently battling an injury. In addition, regulars Karel Poborsky and Tomas Galasek are past their prime, Vladimir Smicer is out of the tournament, and Zdenek Grygera and Jan Koller are also working to get past injuries. These worries make the Czechs one of the bigger question marks in this tournament, and I think the quick turnaround between games will prove to be too much, and they will be bounced out before the group stage.

Ghana

What you need to know — They are making their first World Cup appearance, but don't be fooled into thinking this is an unexperienced bunch. They are Africa Cup of Nations veterans, and their berth in the World Cup was long overdue.

Style — Ghana is a vastly talented squad that likes to play an exciting brand of attacking football. They rely on their midfield strength to dictate tempo. Many of their regulars play in Europe, and they definitely bring a European feel to an African club.

Achilles heel — Like all African teams, discipline remains the most troubling spot. They had a relatively poor showing in the Africa Cup of Nations in January, but were missing several of their regular players, which won't be a hindrance this summer.

Player you need to know — Michael Essien. The midfielder is the most expensive African transfer ever — Chelsea paid Lyon almost $50 million dollars for him last year. Essien can dominate the center of the pitch on both sides — he is a true penalty box to penalty box player. In his first year at Chelsea, he failed to demonstrate the level of brilliance he maintained at Lyon, but he should be ready to show everyone why the London club paid so much for his services.

Player you will learn to know — Stephen Appiah. The former Juventus midfielder currently plays for Fenerbahce in Turkey, and compliments Essien beautifully in the midfield. He is more of a true attacking midfielder than his compatriot, and produced some stunning goals in both Turin and Istanbul.

Prediction — On paper, they are every bit as talented as the Czechs. In addition to Essien and Appiah, starters Sulley Muntari, Matthew Amoah, Sammy Kufour, and John Mensah all play in Europe, and make up of the more dangerous teams in the tournament. Again, don't let their ridiculously low ranking of 48 deceive you — talent wise they are one of the 20 best teams in the world. I think their final game against the United States will be for a place in the second round, but ultimately I think they will fall just short.

United States

What you need to know — Disregard their FIFA ranking as the fifth best team in the world. That is positively laughable. In fact, they are the least talented team in this group! That being said, they did advance to the quarterfinals in the last World Cup with a team that wasn't nearly as talented as their present one, and many will say they were unlucky to be knocked out at that stage, as they were clearly the better squad against Germany.

Style — Like their English forefathers, the United States uses the long ball. Sure, they can create from their midfield, but what they do best is play a long ball to one of their big forwards who will try to knock it down and set up a chance on net. They also have incredible team speed, and almost every flank player, midfielders and defenders included, can create down the wings.

Achilles heel — Scoring. They possess speed, but a few more foots wouldn't hurt, either. In the air, the U.S. is quite good — they are most dangerous with set pieces, using their aerial supremacy to their advantage. But they struggle to find the net consistently, and chances are going to be few and far between in this group.

Player you need to know — Landon Donovan. He has failed miserably abroad, but still has an abundance of skill, so much that Europe is only a matter of time. His short stature works against him, but he is very good in tight spaces, and has above average field vision.

Player you will learn to know — Oguchi Onyewu. Better known as “Gooch,” the 6'4" central defender is destined for big things. He is extraordinarily large, both in height and stature, for a soccer player, and is one of the most imposing forces for any defense in any team. Gooch has proven to be a lockdown defender when it comes to guarding the best CONCACAF has to offer, and if he proves equally successful against the forwards in this group, he will most certainly move on to some of the largest clubs in the world.

Prediction — After making the quarterfinals in the last World Cup, everyone is interested to see if the United States can duplicate their success. There is very little to judge them on other than World Cups — their qualification group is extremely weak (with the notable exception of Mexico). Now the world wants to see if the United States can beat teams like Italy, like the Czechs, like Ghana. If they are able to navigate their way out of this group, people will have to take notice that America is a country not to be taken lightly anymore. Speaking strictly from talent, there is no reason for the United States to be optimistic. But as they say in Italy, the ball is round, and Bruce Arena has been known to take an overmatched team and frustrate opponents with them. I think the improbable happens, and America does advance to the second round. The dream ends there to Brazil, but it will still be a remarkable achievement.

Posted by Piet Van Leer at 9:26 PM | Comments (1)

Why the Spelling Bee is Not a Sport

We begin with a brief interlude inside the mind of "The Jester's Quart" columnist and well-reviewed (at least in the one newspaper that actually did review "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History") author Greg Wyshynski, as his logic and sports fanaticism collide:

Logic — So, what will it be this week? An essay about why Babe Ruth's home run record is as deserving of an asterisk as Barry Bonds'? A diatribe about the evils of college sports recruiting? Isn't it time to take Gary Bettman to the woodshed again?

Sports Fan — No one cares about that nonsense today, man. It's all about the S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G B-E-A!

Logic — Ah, how cute. You spelled it out. Incorrectly.

Sports Fan — What'evs ... you S-U-C-K, by the way.

Logic — Great. Can you explain to me why Wyshynski should waste valuable column inches on the National Spelling Bee? Which, last time I checked, was never going to be confused with the decathlon when it comes to testing athletic aptitude?

Sports Fan — It was on ESPN. That makes it a sport.

Logic — Like poker and billiards.

Sports Fan — Right. If ESPN broadcasts the thing, then the thing's a sport.

Logic — So by that thinking, hockey would not be...

Sports Fan — (Grunts in absolute rage) Hey, Poindexter, here are another two words I just learned how to spell: F-U-C...

Logic — ...Back to my studies. I'm in the midst obliterating 95% of the plot from "X-Men: The Last Stand."

***

I remember the first time I opened up the sports section and found coverage of the Westminster Dog Show. I felt this jarring disorientation, like coming home from work and finding out your wife has replaced your 12-pack of Sam Adams with soy enemas.

Why was it covered in the sports section? Isn't a dog show basically the canine version of the Miss America pageant, at least in the sense that a significant amount of time is dedicated to celebrating good breeding, healthy teeth, and strong hind quarters?

What's even more amazing about the Kennel-Club-as-sport concept is that the Westminster event is shown on the USA Network, which means it doesn't even have the ultimate stamp of legitimacy for a sport: an ESPN logo in the top corner of the screen.

We've talked about the ESPN effect before, and it's staggering to see how its tentacles spread throughout every facet of sports, hobbies, entertainment, and general leisure activities. High stakes, no-limit Texas Hold'em is now a sport — before ESPN got on the poker bandwagon, I'm pretty sure you couldn't buy a starter set at the local Sports Authority. Bowling has long been categorized as a sport, but ESPN is the one that put pro bowling news on its sports ticker at the bottom of the screen. Billiards might not be widely thought of as a sport, but watching it on ESPN could convince you otherwise. Heck, even golf is now considered a sport thanks to ESPN...

And so is the National Spelling Bee. I watched the primetime coverage of the event on ABC, and as usual, it was compelling, enthralling, and ultimately heartbreaking — not from watching these children fall short of their dream, but because of the harsh reality that I'd be working at a Wendy's right now if it weren't for spell check. I don't want to say I'm a poor speller, but you really should have seen what this sentence looked like before Microsoft Word saved my ass (again).

The argument over whether the National Spelling Bee is or is not a sport is a non-starter. The fact that ESPN raised this baby means that it's been nurtured as a sporting event. The broadcast has the same bells and whistles applied to a golf tournament or to the Summer Olympics:

• Little character vignettes in which we learn the back-story and the quirks of each player.
• Camera angles that bring family members front-and-center as their children or siblings compete.
• Sideline reporters; in this case, former MTV movie maven Chris Connelly.
• A little piece of broadcasting heaven I like to call Robin Roberts.

And you can also bet on it. A sports wagering website, for the first time, offered several different gambling options on the National Spelling Bee this year: picking a male or female winner; betting on "home-schooled" vs. public-schooled; wagering on the geography of the winner's hometown; even betting on the size of the winning word. And I'm sure all of it was still easier than trying to bet on baseball.

That said, there's no way the National Spelling Bee could be considered a sport. The event is just too different from the realities of modern-day athletics that they're nearly opposing forces.

What do I mean? I mean there are...

Why the National Spelling Bee is Nothing Like Pro Sports

The only performance-enhancing drugs found in the competitors' systems are hay fever medication and Laffy Taffy...

The competitors have to take a written test which weeds out those who aren't intelligent enough to compete in prime time. In other words, it's the antithesis of the NBA Draft...

The complete lack of counterfeit scalped tickets and merchandise for sale outside the arena...

Despite the significant percentage of non-Caucasians in the event, no one's crying about "all those damn foreigners ruining America's game"...

Chris Berman has yet to discover a way to make the event all about him. (I'm guessing finding a stupid nickname for a kid named "Kavya Shivashankar" might have something to do with it)...

When a competitor is told his or her spelling of the word is incorrect, their immediate response isn't to raise their hands in the air, curse out of the referee, and act like every mistake they make is somebody else's fault. (And their parents don't run out to bump chests to argue with the bell-ringing lady, either...)

There's no such thing as EA Sports Scripps Bee 2007 ... yet...

The official polo shirts the competitors wear prevent any of them from making some additional coin by writing "GoldenPalace.com" on their backs in black paint...

The female competitors receive the same attention as the male competitors — and unlike in professional basketball, they aren't automatically considered to be lesbians...

There's no fighting...

It's a championship event, yet there's not a single performance from the Black-Eyed Peas or a reunited Destiny's Child during breaks in the action...

And finally, Pete Rose is, as of this writing, still eligible for the National Spelling Hall of Fame...

T-H-E E-N-D

Greg Wyshynski is the Features Editor for SportsFan Magazine in Washington, DC, and the Senior Sports Editor for The Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. His book "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History" will be published in spring 2006. His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 8:41 PM | Comments (0)

June 2, 2006

Sports Q&A: Ricky and the Argonauts

Sonny from Miami, FL writes, "Ricky Williams just signed a contract to play for the Canadian Football League's Toronto Argonauts, and ESPN analyst Joe Theismann has a problem with it. What's the deal with Joe?"

Who knows what Theismann's problem is. I hear he's been a little upset since seeing Barbaro break his leg in the Preakness Stakes a few weeks ago. Or maybe he's distraught that he won't be working with Paul McGuire later this year. Actually, Theismann began his professional football career with the Argonauts, so maybe he's just angry that the team has signed a player who has continually violated the National Football League's substance abuse policy. This may be the first time that an American living in the States gave a good gosh darn what went on in the CFL.

Theismann should give Williams a break. Sure, Williams is suspended from the NFL, but not the CFL. He's never failed a drug test in the CFL, yet. Even so, if you get kicked out of McDonald's, does that mean you can't go to Burger King? And this is professional sports. You can get kicked out of McDonald's several times, and still return to McDonald's. You've heard of Darryl Strawberry, right?

I'm not sure what the CFL's drug policy is, or if they even have one, but, as long as Williams stays clean while under contract to the Argonauts, no one should have a problem with him playing there. If he is banished from the CFL for substance abuse, his options will be limited, and Theismann can boast that he "told you so," but Williams can play football somewhere else. I doubt the Amsterdam Admirals of the NFL Europe league would have any trouble enticing Williams to play for them, and they probably wouldn't even have to pay him.

Look, Joe, don't fault Williams for doing something he loves. And by that, I mean "playing football." He's got bills to pay, kids to support, shahman and witch doctors to finance, and he still owes the Dolphins money. Plus, he's probably never burned one on Canadian soil. And he possibly could be eligible for universal health care.

Besides, Joe, the Argonauts are only paying Williams $500,000 for his services. You're telling me Williams isn't committed to football when he agrees to play for such little money when he's used to making at least $5 million a year? You know what Williams does when he's not playing football? He travels to remote locations on the planet and does things that later get him suspended from the NFL.

So Joe, what are you going to do about all this besides criticize Williams in the media? Luckily for you, Williams is one laid-back fellow. Your remarks could easily offend him, and he could snap you in half if he weren't so mellow, for whatever reason. If you like, Joe, you could always go north of the border and extradite Williams back to the States. And take Dog the Bounty Hunter with you. Or you could be supportive of a fellow professional and be happy that he's got a chance to play.

You know, Joe, you played in the NFL during a time when drug testing wasn't that high on the league's agenda. So, several of your contemporaries likely played alongside or against you, even though they enjoyed an occasional recreational fix of their drug of choice. And they didn't have to go to Canada to play. Come on, Joe, can you look at Williams with a straight face and tell him that Lawrence Taylor never used an illegal substance during his career?

Maybe Williams doesn't deserve another chance at football after all of his troubles with drugs. Then again, maybe we all deserve a sixth, 10th, or 19th chance at some point in our lives. Heck, maybe Williams doesn't really want to play in Canada. Maybe he just heard that Toronto has a hockey team called the Maple Leafs, and that a maple leaf appears on the national flag, and that was just too many leaves to pass up. Does it matter, really? Williams is playing in Canada, and if you don't like it, Joe, do what you normally do, and not watch CFL football. Call it your idea of a protest.

Gil from Las Vegas, NV writes, "Two former Florida State football players, Cincinnati Bengal AJ Nicholson and Fred Rouse, were charged with stealing $1,700 worth of electronic equipment from current Seminole running back Lorenzo Booker. As criminal mischief by college athletes in the state of Florida goes, is this that big of a deal?"

Are you telling me that college football players in Florida are prone to felonious behavior? You're kidding me. When a crime is committed in Florida, it's a safe assumption that there is some connection to the University of Miami or Florida State University. If you need specifics, check the football team.

A theft of $1,700 is not that big of a deal in the scheme of things, but since it was perpetrated by college football players in the state of Florida, it becomes a big deal. It's stupid enough to steal, but when you steal from a player from your former team, you're just asking for more trouble and more ridicule. And, throw in the fact that a receiver's glove with the No. 1, Rouse's former jersey number, stitched inside was found at the crime scene, and you have the makings of criminal idiocy.

And, just in case that wasn't enough to implicate them, Nicholson and Rouse cut themselves breaking a window and left blood drops at the scene. Allegedly, blood smeared on the kitchen wall spelled out "FSU Rulz." Not really, but it wouldn't have been a surprise. Decision-making doesn't seem to be Nicholson's and Rouse's strength.

Nicholson was just drafted in April by the Bengals — why on Earth he felt the need to steal is beyond me. Let me correct myself. Why on Earth he felt the need to steal only $1,700 is beyond me. He was a fifth-round draft pick with a Florida State pedigree, so he should have a lot of money coming to him. Now, I guess the money will still be coming to him, but it will be going right out to cover his legal defenses. I hope he has a good lawyer.

Wait, he must have a good lawyer. This isn't his first brush with the law. He's been accused of a sexual assault, but has yet to be charged in the case. He also pleaded no contest to a driving while intoxicated arrest, and had charges dropped in a case of resisting arrest. You don't beat those raps without top-notch legal representation, and good words supporting his fine character by Bobby Bowden surely didn't hurt his cause.

How did Nicholson find the time to become an NFL-caliber football player while on his random criminal spree? And how did he remain on the team in light of all his transgressions? At FSU, talent supersedes criminal behavior and sheer stupidity. But, in Nicholson's defense (I bet he's heard that a lot), why should he cease his criminal ways if he can continue to get away with it?

It's apparent that most college and professional teams don't place much stock in a player's character. They may say they do, but if a player is talented enough, then his rap sheet is inconsequential. If their eyes, if a payer is so brazen as to commit crimes without fear of retribution, then he should have no trouble taking on a 330-pound pulling offensive lineman, or meeting a fullback head on, or assaulting a heckler at a popular nightclub. It takes nerve to be a criminal, and it takes nerve to make certain plays on the football field.

Football scouts can do their jobs just as well listening to a police scanner as they can watching a football game. And a menacing mug-shot can give a scout a good indication of a player's tenacity, much more so than some silly IQ test or a 40-yard dash time. And speaking of 40-yard dash times, why do you think football players are so fast? Because they spend much of their time running from the cops. Out-running an opposing players is easy when you've eluded the police on foot-chases several times in your life.

So Gil, crimes committed by athletes aren't big deals anymore. Maybe they used to be, but they are so commonplace now that it soon will be a recorded statistic. Sadly, a player's checkered past doesn't deter colleges from recruiting or pro teams from drafting. Thuggery will take you places, as long as you have athletic talent to complement it. Don't be surprised if players start showing up at the NFL draft in orange jumpsuits and shackles. And don't be surprised if that improves their draft stock.

Get Your Questions Answered!

Do you have a question or comment? Do you want to get something off your chest? Do you have trouble speaking, and are not a mime? Are you a shell of your former self? Then send your question or comment, your bra size, and a bean burrito from Taco Bell along with your name and hometown to [email protected]. You may get the answer you're looking for in the next column on Friday, June 16th.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:10 PM | Comments (0)

Why the Cup's Going Back to Canada

I know I am not in the minority when I say this: I want the Edmonton Oilers to win the Stanley Cup. In fact, I am jumping on the already-loaded bandwagon, and I am declaring that the Oilers will win it all.

This isn't a brash prediction. Some important factors lie in their favor.

Let's start with G Dwayne Roloson. His name may be new in the media, but he's been in the league for 10 years. Roloson isn't a stranger to playoff competition, either — he played a total of 11 games for Minnesota in 2002-2003, posting 2.59 GAA and a respectable .903 save percentage. This season, he boasts a .931 save percentage and 2.22 GAA — stellar numbers for a goaltender playing under the new regulations.

Roloson has been a key factor in Edmonton's success. In need of a reliable netminder, the Oilers exchanged a first-round draft pick for Roloson, who was with the Minnesota Wild. "Acquiring Dwayne at the [NHL trade] deadline and getting that last piece of the puzzle ultimately got us to the final," said Oilers D Chris Pronger in a press conference after Edmonton defeated Anaheim in the Western Conference Finals. Of the 183 shots Roloson faced versus Anaheim, only 12 made it in.

F Mike Peca sang similar praises of his teammate. "Any time you have a goalie that's playing as well as Dwayne has, everybody plays [better] in front of him ... You have so much more confidence. His savvy back there allows the [defense] to come back and make plays.”

Confidence is certainly a quality that Edmonton has now, but that wasn't always the case. Starting in the quarterfinals against the top-ranked Detroit Red Wings, Edmonton appeared to have little, if any, chance in moving up in the playoffs. They shocked everyone when they won Game 6 in front of their own crowd, taking the series. "They just blew the roof off Rexall,” said head coach Craig MacTavish of the fans.

"This is the best building, the best city to play in,” added D Steve Staios. "The fans have always been there for us, and they deserve all the excitement that's coming with this playoff run that we're on.”

The feverish excitement of the playoffs hasn't hit the city of Edmonton since Wayne Gretzky played there. Fans who were around in those days are both relieved and thrilled to see their team contending for top honors. New, younger fans are experiencing the rush for the first time. And all fans, long-time or brand-new, are loving it.

Aside from the pandemonium that overcomes Rexall Place during an Edmonton victory, fans aren't afraid to show off their excitement in other areas throughout the city. Fans take to the street, yelling "Go Oilers!” from their vehicles, and hugging other fans dressed in home-team garb. This is a group that has an appreciation for hockey, as well as their team — they know just how much their enthusiasm has had an impact on the players, and as long as the season is going, the fans will keep cheering. They're more than worthy of a Stanley Cup parade.

And so is the team. Considered underdogs throughout the entire postseason, Edmonton has proven, round after round, that they are out to win it all.

"We might be the only ones who really believed we could win the Cup,” said a confident RW Georges Laraque. "We weren't just saying it. With the players we have, it's been our goal right from the beginning. We've been the underdogs in every series but it doesn't matter. We know that we can win. We know it,”

But at the same time, the team's focus is grounded. They know they still have a long road ahead. "I don't think anyone in our room is feeling like we've accomplished anything yet. Anything less than winning would be an incomplete season,” D Chris Pronger said after defeating Anaheim.

LW Raffi Torres confirmed Pronger's thoughts when he added, "We need four more wins to be satisfied.”

Only then will Edmonton's Cinderella story be complete. The team has everything going for it — perfect synergy, focus, and talent. Their fans are standing by, waiting with trepidation for the next victory. Most importantly, Edmonton's attitude is in the right place — the Oilers have worked against the greatest of odds to be in the Finals, and their hard work won't pay off until they've won Lord Stanley.

They want it all. They're gonna get it.

Posted by Charlynn Smith at 10:48 PM | Comments (0)

Stanley Cup Finals: Who to Cheer For?

Like many, I have not be able to predict a damn thing when it comes to these NHL playoffs.

How can you, when arguably the last team you would predict (the Oilers get the nod here because they were the only eight-seed that didn't win the Stanley Cup last time NHL hockey was played), is sitting pretty in the finals with more than a week's worth of rest? When thinking about the Oilers/Hurricanes or Oilers/Sabres Stanley Cup Final, I can't help but think of one man: Biff Tannen.

Wait ... who?

You know, Biff, the antagonist to Michael J. Fox's Marty McFly in Back to the Future 2. Remember, Biff was able to secure the sports almanac from the future and was able to parlay that into some successful bets on horse races and riches beyond anyone's wildest dreams.

Well, can you imagine if we had the 2006 Sports Almanac last year? What were the odds of Edmonton in the Finals? 25-to-1? 40-to-1? I remember telling a friend in September, as I put down $10 bucks on my Canucks at 19-to-1, that the Sabres were 85-to-1 to win it all. While the Hurricanes' and Sabres' odds both improved rapidly throughout the season, Edmonton was still a long-shot as we entered the playoffs.

What is the point here? The point is, I for one, am not going to bother predicting what is going to happen or even analyzing what has happened so far. Sure, we could go into the pieces of the puzzle that each team has utilized to form a playoff success, but at this point with television coverage ramped up in Canada, that would be bo-ring. As a result, this column leaves the hockey where it belongs ... on the ice.

What I can talk about here is what I am: a fan. There are 30 teams in the NHL, and three remain. Some of my famous quick math tells me that 90% of the teams and subsequently 90% of fans are "out of it." Yet somehow, we still watch. We watch because we love the sport, the storylines, the phenomenal pace of the game; the entertainment factor.

However, who are we cheering for? Is everyone in Canada throwing their support behind Edmonton? Is anyone cheering for Carolina? Having thought about this, given my own stark reality as a Canucks fan, I have to ask myself: who do I want to win the Stanley Cup? And what does that say about me?

Edmonton Oilers

Six weeks ago, if you would have asked me who I wanted to win the Stanley Cup, assuming it wasn't my team, my answer would have looked something like: "Anyone but Toronto, Calgary, Edmonton, and Colorado, in that order." How awful would it be to have a team that you play eight times per season win the Stanley Cup? Or the team with most obnoxious fans in the league, in the city that you live in? The idea of these team's fans with bragging rights not just for one year, but basically until the Canucks win the Cup, leaves chills down my spine.

However, since the first win against Detroit, the Canadian media has been beating this team into us. I am almost ready to give in, and here's why:

I lived through this two years ago when the Flames (who I hate far more than the Oilers) made their run to Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. As this was happening, I couldn't help but recall the 1994 playoff run that ended virtually the same way and how much I loved that spring and how I still haven't gotten over the Canucks' loss to Mark Messier, Brian Leetch, and Mike Richter.

To have the Flames pull it out would have been a fate worse than death. As everyone from coast to coast jumped on that bandwagon, I couldn't watch. As Calgarians decided that maybe hockey was cool (remember, it wasn't too long ago that attendance was a major problem there) and were sporting brand new red jerseys, using the playoffs as an excuse to party and yet somehow getting credit for being the best fans in the league, I couldn't watch.

Of course, this year, these same Flames were nowhere to be found in the third period of game seven as their team was down by a mere two goals. Embarrassingly silent when their team needed them most, and out the door before the final horn went. No "thanks for a great season" send-off. I think they may have all been going to get a refund on their "sea of red" jerseys, as they likely still had the price tags attached. So as the Oilers burned through California, I had no choice but re-live this experience from last year. But there's a difference.

I have never seen an entire crowd cheer for their team, chant for their team after the other team scores a big goal. It's like they don't know any better, but after five Cups and numerous playoff appearances, they do. It's like they decided this year, "Screw it, they clearly can't do it alone on the ice, and if Flames can somehow get respect, we've got to take it to another level." and they did.

They cheered and they cheered and not one player on the Oilers isn't boosted by that, isn't made 10-15% better than he was two months ago. When they are down, they are not out, and it's not because the players are any better or because Dwayne Roloson is doing anything that Jean-Sebastien Giguere did a few years back. It's because the people there believe.

The team has built towards this, making the playoffs over and over again, often getting that Groundhog day feeling as they lose to the Stars. My problem with the Flames is that they didn't deserve it, the fans I mean, the players I can't judge. I don't talk to the players, but I talk to the fans. The players aren't the reason a franchise is in trouble, its the fans. Flames fans didn't deserve a Stanley Cup after sleeping through eight-odd years of no playoffs and relatively little support. Oilers fans do.

As a Canucks fan, I feel like we have been through a lot in this current incarnation of the team but that is for another day ... or two. Year after year, a severe disappointment, I think Oilers fans can relate. As for Flames fans, just sucking for 10 years and not even really trying to win doesn't count. Getting every possible break on your way to the Cup final doesn't match up to years of potential squelched.

Carolina Hurricanes

Two years ago, this is my team. Unequivocally. Do you know anyone that is a 'Canes fan? Does anyone? If sports is about debate and being a fan is about bragging rights for your team, then isn't Carolina the choice? Of course they are. Carolina is the common ground for all of us that have lost their team in the last two months. Sens fan? Go Hurricanes. Leafs fans? Go Hurricanes. Red Wings fan? Go Hurricanes.

You don't know a Hurricanes fan. Which means you don't have to hear about the year they won the Cup from someone everyday until your team wins. If the Hurricanes win the Stanley Cup, its like it never happened. Think I am wrong? How many times has someone smacked your team because they are a long-suffering fan of the Lightning that "finally got the Cup in 2004?" None. It was a cute little story and nobody won in your group of friends and acquaintances, everyone just sighed and re-laced the skates and got ready for the next season.

It took a while to get to that next season, but here we are, and two years in the making, it's worth twice as much. Do you really want that guy you know to have the satisfaction? When there is a simple way out? Like a carryover in a golf skins game, the Hurricanes can drain the putt that wipes everything clean and we all start fresh next year. Sure, Carolina has the parade, but does anyone really care? No. People in Carolina don't even care. As an added bonus, you can even bond with your Oilers fan-friend about having come so close. Trust me, relationships everywhere are saved. If you can't be happy, why should anyone you know be happy.

So who do I cheer for? If what I wanted to happen in the next two weeks came to fruition and I had to live with it in sports bars for the rest of my days who would I want to win the Stanley Cup? The truth is I don't know. Maybe you do. Maybe something you've read here rings true. Maybe you've convinced yourself that the Oilers are a Canadian team (like that makes a lick of difference), or you still hold a grudge because the Hurricanes have beaten the Leafs in the last decade. Maybe you want to see Doug Weight win the Stanley Cup or you like Eric Staal as a player.

Whatever your reason, it's yours and one that you will have to live with. Me? I won't know until I sit down and watch and something pulls me towards one side or the other. Maybe that happens in Game 1 or maybe it has to wait until Game 7, but at least I can rest easy knowing that I've thought it through.

Posted by Matt Russell at 10:36 PM | Comments (0)

June 1, 2006

NBA Playoffs: Superman Returns

"Following a mysterious absence of several years, the Man of Steel comes back to Earth in the epic Superman Returns. While an old enemy plots to render him powerless once and for all, Superman faces the heartbreaking realization that the woman he loves, Lois Lane, has moved on with her life. Or has she? Superman's bittersweet return challenges him to bridge the distance between them while finding a place in a society that has learned to survive without him. In an attempt to protect the world he loves from cataclysmic destruction, Superman embarks on an epic journey of redemption that takes him from the depths of the ocean to the far reaches of outer space."

— Anonymous summary of Superman Returns from IMDB.com

After watching the playoffs this year, this summary could also apply to the play of Shaquille O'Neal.

In Monday night's game against the Detroit Pistons, Shaq blocked a shot, picked up the loose ball, and went coast-to-coast for a driving lay-up.

Teammates commented that he looked more like his former 24-year-old self than an aging 34-year-old center.

Such is the case this postseason for the self-proclaimed Superman. Shaq looks rejuvenated, energetic, playful, and youthful, which may be surprising to some after constant chattering throughout the season about his age and health.

By now, he was supposed to be at the end of his productive years. He could still be a leader for the rest of the Heat, but the days when he could single-handedly carry them to victory on the court with a 20-10 performance were over.

Years of wear and tear on his knees and body like a lethal dose of kryptonite were supposed to render him largely ineffective against the younger crowd of NBA stars.

The Superman tattoo on his arm was supposed to be just a reminder of how dominating and powerful he used to be, a memento of greatness past.

Children, Shaquille O'Neal's performance in these playoffs is the reason you believe in superheroes.

It has been since the 2002 season with the Lakers since Shaq last added a championship ring to his jewelry collection.

The four-year drought might be over soon enough.

After a Game 7 loss to the Detroit Pistons last year, the Miami Heat and Pat Riley looked toward this season with an eye on getting past Detroit and into the NBA Finals. Retooled with the additions of Jason Williams and Antoine Walker, it has been Miami's mission to make it back to this point. And nobody seems to be on a more decisive mission than Shaq.

Maybe all the talk about his increasing age and decreasing ability got to him. Maybe Dwyane Wade's youthfulness and energy for the game gave him the belief that this team can do it. Maybe somewhere in his mansion in Miami is the fountain of youth.

Who knows where it came from or exactly what it is, but whatever it is is the thing driving Shaq right now.

It is the thing that drove him from coast-to-coast on Monday night in a rumbling and emphatic display of athleticism and power. Blocked a shot. Recovered the loose ball. Dribbled the length of the court. Put in a layup.

Shaq's array of skills was on full display that night, and they have been during these playoffs. His smile is different. The look in his eyes is different. The way he plays around with his teammates while at the same time playing the veteran leader is different.

He's playing all the roles he needs to play with aplomb. Leader. Scorer. Defender. Rebounder. Entertainer.

And all the while, he's saying the right things.

"We don't want to get too high and mighty," O'Neal said. "Job's not done yet."

And he's backing up his words, playing as well as he has since the 2002 championship season with the Lakers.

Game 4: 36 minutes, 21 points, 9 rebounds.

Game 3: 37 minutes, 27 points, 12 rebounds.

Game 2: 40 minutes, 21 points, 12 rebounds.

Only in Game 1 did Shaq play limited minutes because of foul trouble, but Miami still came away with a win.

Otherwise, he has been effective on the block, productive on the offensive side, ever-present on the defensive end, and a major part of the Heat's offensive gameplan against the Pistons.

More than anybody else in the league right now, Shaq has the ability to be a leader. He commands the attention and respect of his teammates. More than anybody else in the league right now, he seems to care about getting another championship ring. You can see the desire in his eyes, and you can see the belief in his teammates'.

He can take the Heat to the Finals not just because he can physically pick them up and carry them around like ragdolls, but because he can mentally take them to the place where they are confident in their ability and their game. That's what happens when you are walking behind a 7'1", 325-pound superhero on a mission.

This version of Superman hadn't been seen in awhile.

It's been injuries, doubts, fouls, missed free throws, and playoff elimination. More time on MTV Cribs than on ESPN in May and June.

The pictures of Shaq victoriously holding the Larry O'Brien trophy were long history in a comic book that had reached the point where we see the superhero struggling to deal with diminishing skills and old age.

Nobody knew there was a sequel in production.

Now, Shaq has the Miami Heat one win away from reaching the NBA Finals. One step closer to the trophy. One step closer to redemption.

Sure, the Heat can certainly thank Dwyane Wade's unbelievable talent for where they are today, and Pat Riley was the mastermind behind the offseason moves that rebuilt this team to contend in the playoffs.

But right now, there is one man that is responsible for the way the Heat are playing on the court and the way they are handling themselves off of it.

There is one man that you can tell everyone else is looking to for direction. It is in their eyes, and it is in his.

Shaquille O'Neal is back to prove to everybody that he still has it. He is back on a mission for that trophy and that glory, and he is taking his team with him.

Watching Shaq rumble down the floor coast-to-coast on a mission to the basket, you have to know that after a four-year absence from NBA Finals glory, Superman has returned.

Posted by Vince Grzegorek at 11:04 PM | Comments (1)

World Cup Preview: Group D

Group C

Group D is about as straight-forward as you get. Two teams (Portugal and Mexico), both flooded with distinguished players, and two teams (Iran and Angola) who are clearly not.

Portugal

What you need to know — The classic standard barrier for underachievers when it comes to the world stage. They have disappointed in World Cups before, including most recently in 2002 when they were famously bounced out of the first round by an unheralded United States team. They could have made amends for all their past failures in the 2004 Euros, but were beaten on home soil in the final by a less talented, but mentally stronger Greece squad.

Style — Beautiful attacking football. Portugal possesses some of the greatest talents in the game. They boast highly-decorated European based stars throughout the squad, and it was on full display throughout qualification, as they breezed to the World Cup without a loss, outscoring opponents at a 35-5 clip.

Achilles heel — Intestinal fortitude. No matter how talented, Portugal comes up short. This was never more evident than in 2002 when despite being one of the pre-tournament favorites, they came staggering out of the gate, losing to the United States 3-2. There is a real question of whether or not this team has the stomach to become one of the elites.

Player you need to know — Cristiano Ronaldo. The 21-year-old Manchester United starlet is one of the most exciting talents in the game. To call his footwork dazzling would be an understatement — perhaps only Ronaldinho is more entertaining with a ball at his feet. He can also score, finishing second on his team in qualifying with 7 goals.

Player you will learn to know — Pedro Pauleta. He is well-known in France, but flies under the radar when it comes to national prominence. He did lead all of Europe in qualification, scoring 11 goals, and could be primed to excel in Germany.

Prediction — This team is way too talented to get bounced out of the first round again, especially considering the competition. They are so gifted that if they get a little bit of luck, we could be talking about this team in the final. Although I'm willing to bet those same words have been uttered before about Portugal.

Mexico

What you need to know — This CONCACAF power is a World Cup regular, and they're not just happy to be there. Mexico has made it to the second round every time since 1994. But they usually bow out there, and have never made it past the quarterfinals.

Style — As they demonstrated in the 2005 Confederations Cup, Mexico attacks against everyone. Be it Germany, Argentina, or Brazil, they are not afraid to go for goals. They are highly-skilled and present matchup problems for many of the European elite, as Italy and the Netherlands can attest to in previous world cups.

Achilles heel — They can be overmatched physically and psychologically, which the United States has exploited before — most notably the 2002 World Cup. Their talent level also does fall short when comparing them to the elite squads in the world.

Player you need to know — Jared Borgetti. The leading scorer in CONCACAF qualifying now applies his trade for Bolton in England. And unlike almost every Mexican forward before him, Borgetti is more than capable in the air, where he is unusually dangerous.

Player you will learn to know — Rafael Marquez. The Barcelona central defender is an absolute rock at the back for Europe's best team and is equally adept when he moves forward on set pieces.

Prediction — Like Portugal, I would be beyond shocked if Mexico didn't make it out of this group, not because they are one of the best 16 teams in the world, but because Angola and Iran are not. After that though will be the real test. Something that should help Mexico this time around is their diversity. Unlike in years past where almost every national team member would play his club ball in Mexico, they have some integral players flourishing in Europe, and that could prove most beneficial when it comes to getting into the last rounds in Germany.

Iran

What you need to know — They have been in the World Cup twice before, and have won exactly one game, over the United States in 1998. They have never made it past the group stage.

Style — I would be lying to you if I said that I was an expert when it comes to Iranian football. I have seen them play zero games since 2002, when I saw them lose to Ireland 2-0 in a World Cup playoff. But when I have seen them in the past, they are a well-disciplined team that likes to play conservative and keep the game low scoring.

Achilles heel — Talent, although not nearly the gap there was in years past when comparing them to everyone else in the World Cup. Before, Iran would be lucky if one of their players played outside of the middle east. Now they have five, four of which are in Germany. In addition to a lack of talent, they also have a lack of competitive matches. They qualified from Asia, which is one of the weakest regions in the world, and Iran will find it most difficult when they are playing Portugal as opposed to Bahrain.

Player you need to know — Ali Daei. The 37-year-old striker is a living legend in Iran. He has 109 goals in 147 appearances for his country, and even had a small, successful spell in Germany.

Player you will learn to know — Ali Karimi. The Bayern Munich attacking midfielder is the most skilled player on his country's squad, and if Iran are to have any hope of getting a goal, he will need to be involved.

Prediction: Plain and simple, it's too little against too much. If Iran gets out of this group, it will be a miracle.

Angola

What you need to know — They are the reason Nigeria is not here, beating them out in qualification thanks in large part to an impressive home record in what was one of the most astonishing runs in the entire field. They are making their World Cup debut.

Style — A lot of their results came narrowly, outscoring their opponents by only six goals in twelve games, but they displayed amazing resilience in just being able to qualify. Keep in mind, this is a team that hadn't qualified for last three Africa Cup of Nations until this past one in January.

Achilles heel — Talent. Like Iran, Angola has few players that are common names to anyone outside Angola, and even a lot of Angolans might be shocked to learn who these guys are. In the 2006 Africa Cup of Nations, Angola failed to get out of their group, losing out to a good Cameroon team, as well as a marginal Congo squad.

Player you need to know — Fabrice Akwa. The captain was Angola's leading goal scorer in qualifying, and is the heart and soul of the team.

Player you will learn to know — Pedro Mantorras. Possibly the highest skilled player on the team, the Benfica forward has struggled chemistry wise with his national team, and almost wasn't picked to accompany the squad to Germany. But if Angola is to make any noise here, Mantorras will have to be heard from, and probably as a substitute.

Prediction — Angola is essentially brining a knife to a gunfight. I have no idea how Nigeria failed to get past them in qualifying, but after watching their games at the Africa Cup of Nations this winter, I can't see any possible way that they could upset the apple cart.

Posted by Piet Van Leer at 10:21 PM | Comments (3)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 12

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson's five-race winning streak in Charlotte ended Saturday when Kasey Kahne won the Coca-Cola 600, but Johnson did finish second in the season's longest race to extend his points lead. Johnson now leads second-place Matt Kenseth by 109 points.

"So much for my home-track advantage at Lowe's Motor Speedway," says Johnson. "But, I guess I can be happy with a second after four-and-a-half hours in race traffic. And I'm not even talking about the actual race. I'm talking about the time it takes just to get from the interstate to the track complex. Luckily, my crew chief, Chad Knaus, knows a shortcut, and it only takes us three minutes to get there."

2. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth kept pace in the points race with Jimmie Johnson with a fifth-place finish in Charlotte. Kenseth started sixth in the Coca-Cola 600, and qualified on the pole for last Saturday's Busch Series' Carquest Auto Parts 300.

"And guess who won that race?" asks Kenseth. "Carl Edwards, a full-time Cup Driver. Has a full-time Busch driver won a Busch race this year? No, not a chance. Of course, that's like an NFL football player returning to play college football again? Wouldn't he dominate? I would say NASCAR should do something about it, but I'm having too much fun winning Busch races."

Kenseth's seventh top-five finish of the year allows him to vault past Tony Stewart in the points standings to second. Needless to say, Stewart gave him the finger on the way by.

3. Kasey Kahne — Kahne topped off a quality weekend for Evernham Motorsports with a convincing win in Charlotte, holding off Lowe's Motor Speedway master ace Jimmie Johnson for his third win of the year. Kahne started ninth on the grid, as Evernham teammates Scott Riggs and Jeremy Mayfield consolidated the front row.

"Luckily," says Kahne, "we had the opportunity to make several adjustments to the car. Which is what one would expect with cars that only hold thirteen gallons of fuel. I think I drove 300 of the 600 miles on pit road alone. Doesn't NASCAR know we need fewer pit stops, not more? What's next? The NASCAR Hummer division series with a five gallon fuel cell and a pit stop every lap?"

With his third win of the year, Kahne moves up two spots in the points to sixth, and trails Johnson by 292 points.

4. Tony Stewart — A nightmarish weekend for Stewart culminated on Sunday with a fractured right shoulder blade, suffered when he slammed the wall on lap 32 of Sunday's Coca Cola 600. On Saturday, Stewart bounced off the wall just nine laps in to the Busch series race. For the weekend, Stewart completed about 40 out of 600 possible laps in Charlotte, and he falls to 231 points behind Johnson after trailing him by only 93 entering Charlotte.

"Yes, the medical reports are correct," says Stewart. "I fractured my right shoulder blade, which just happens to be my middle finger-giving side. I guess I won't be climbing any fences in the near future, but with the proper rehab, I should be back to my usual ornery self in no time. Since no other cars were involved in either accident, I'm blaming the wall. See me in a week, and I'll tell you that me and the wall have talked and put this thing behind us."

Ricky Rudd will qualify the No. 20 Joe Gibbs Chevrolet this week in Dover, and will serve as relief driver should Stewart be unable to complete Sunday's race.

5. Mark Martin — Martin's fourth-place finish in Charlotte propels him up a notch in the points, where he is currently third, 209 behind Jimmie Johnson. Martin was part of a dominant Roush Racing conglomerate, as all five drivers finished in the top 10, led by Carl Edwards' third.

"It was a dominant performance, all right," says Martin. "All of the drivers in the Roush stable are capable of dominating, but I stand alone in one area: rapping ability. You might not know this, but I suffered several gunshot wounds as a teenager growing up on the raw streets of Batesville, Arkansas. When I'm done racing, I plan to start my own rap label to rival Murder, Inc. and Death Row. I'll call it 'Engine Block 6 Records.'"

6. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. — Earnhardt finished just out of the top 10, in 11th, for a solid effort in Charlotte. He holds on to fifth in the Nextel Cup standings, 271 points out of first.

"Not too shabby for 600 miles of driving," says Earnhardt. "Usually, when I drive 600 miles, I like to end up at a beach. Hey, did you see me on ESPN's SportsCentury? That was quite an honor. I think ESPN is producing a segment for Michael Waltrip. Of course, he's paying them to do so."

7. Kyle Busch — Busch's day in Charlotte ended on lap 313 when the No. 5 Hendrick Monte Carlo was terminally damaged in a crash triggered by a Casey Mears spin. Busch, with questions about his temper apparently furthest from his mind, then tossed his HANS device at Mears and the No. 42 Dodge. Incidentally, the HANS device caused no damage to Mears' car.

"Let me just say that I regret my actions," says Busch. "I should not do something as foolish as throw a safety device with the intention of causing damage. I should have thrown my helmet or a rock or a tire iron, maybe. Who in their right mind uses a safety device as a weapon? What was I thinking? Was I playing the NASCAR version of the 'Clue' board game. Kyle Busch with the HANS device at Charlotte. I guess that's like throwing a band-aid at someone you're trying to hurt."

On Wednesday, Busch was fined $50,000 and docked 25 driver points for his actions. As a result, Busch falls three places to 10th in the points, and is 449 out of first. Asked to comment on the penalties, an angry Busch didn't throw anything, but did pitch a hissy fit.

8. Jeff Gordon — Gordon suffered a right-front suspension failure on lap 360, ending his top-10 aspirations prematurely. His finish of 36th dropped him to seventh in the points, 410 behind his teammate Jimmie Johnson.

"Sure, this hurts," says Gordon. "You always want to be inside that 400-point window. But, as long as we remain in the top 10 in points, we'll qualify for the Chase. You know, things could be worse. I could be a female driver working for Richard Petty. I guess the King's not too impressed by queens."

9. Kevin Harvick — Harvick, driving the No. 29 Reese's Chevrolet, made contact with the No. 38 M&M's Ford, producing a delicious mix of chocolate and peanut butter. Actually, Harvick's car limped to the garage with about 120 laps remaining to replace his transmission. He returned to the track, but could only manage to finish 34th, 27 laps down.

"Look what happens when we take the 'GM Goodwrench' logo off of the car," complains Harvick. "The transmission falls to Reese's pieces. We can't win the Nextel Cup with things like that happening, but we can, however, sell quite a few Reese's Peanut Butter Cups."

Harvick has two consecutive 34th-or-worse finishes, and tumbles to 10th in the points, 435 out of first.

10. Greg Biffle — Biffle finished seventh at Charlotte, continuing his charge up the Nextel Cup points standings. Biffle has scored three top-10 finishes in a row and is now 13th in the points, 521 out of the lead.

"I'm charging like Paris Hilton on crack with a new Visa," says Biffle. "Unlike her, I have an ounce or more of measurable talent. Actually, she is talented in her own right. If being a skeezer is a form of talent, then she may be the most talented human of all-time. Just a thought. I bet you could really irritate Richard Petty if you put Paris Hilton in a race car."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 9:41 PM | Comments (0)