NBA Playoffs: 40 Games in 40 Nights (Pt. II)

Continued from 40 Games in 40 Nights (Pt. 1)

As many of my former bosses will attest to, I am not one for working.

I go in spurts, as I feel like it, and when it's convenient for me.

That's why, two weeks after I started, I am finishing my list of 40 items about the NBA Playoffs.

Forty's a big number. Bigger than I thought it would be.

It became painfully apparent to me as I wrote the first half of the list that I didn't have the time, or the material, to compile a full list of 40 items. That's why I stopped at 20. The whole "40 is an important number in the Bible" thing ... totally a cop-out.

The real reason ... I was tired, I was hungry, and the librarian was staring at me like I had snuck a first edition of The Great Gatsby under my coat.

2,657 words in one afternoon were quite enough.

But alas, it would be rude of me to start such an important list without finishing it. It would be a complete let down. How am I supposed to be a pioneer in the world of list-making if I can only make it halfway?

So, after two weeks, I am proud to unveil the second half of:

The 40 Things I Have Seen, Thought About, Heard Through the Grapevine, Considered, Predicted, Been Insulted By, Been Nauseated By, Scoffed at, and Missed About the 2006 NBA Playoffs So Far (In No Particular Order)

21. Desagana Diop was a first round pick.

Yes, folks, that's right.

I had forgotten about it until watching the seventh game of the Mavs/Spurs series.

As a Cleveland fan, I must have erased that memory in order to save my sanity.

He was the eighth overall pick in the 2001 draft, then spent the next four years planted firmly at the end of the Cavaliers' bench.

Career stats: 1.8 points per game, 1.1 blocks per game, 3.1 rebounds per game

Of course, I was glad to see him go. It was a relief to get rid of him. He's a seven-footer with no coordination, no offense, and an ability to look completely goofy at all times.

I am only surprised that he has found himself as the starting center for the Mavs this season. And, more than that, I am surprised that they are in the Western Conference Finals despite that fact.

22. Chris Kaman is still ugly.

23. It's okay, Mark Cuban, there are rivalries, now please keep your shirt on.

Last week, commenting on the NBA in general, Mark Cuban said, "We need intense, bloodthirsty, Red Sox/Yankees rivalries in this league."

Sure, it has been awhile since the NBA has had a Bulls/Pistons, Lakers/Celtics kind of rivalry. That's no surprise considering the fact that it has been awhile since the NBA seemed interesting at all. Beyond this year's playoffs saving interest in the league, beyond the fact that they have been some of the most exciting and competitive series in recent memory, these NBA playoffs are giving birth to rivalries.

The Miami Heat have been geeked up this entire season to get a second crack at the Detroit Pistons after losing Game 7 last year. They have been waiting all all season, and have said as much in the press.

The Detroit Pistons had been waiting all season to return to the Finals and get a second crack at the San Antonio Spurs. They have been waiting all season, and have said as much in the press.

The Dallas Mavericks have been the bridesmaid to the Spurs' bride in the last couple of years. With a determined drive to the basket, Dirk Nowitzki and the Mavs accomplished what Mark Cuban had been dreaming of the entire season. They beat their rivals. They got the monkey off their backs.

The motivating factor, the thing that is getting players and teams excited and pumped about the rest of the playoffs is the idea of revenge. The Heat, the Pistons, the Mavs — every team is gunning for NBA Finals glory and they want to do it at the expense of the teams that stopped them last year.

Next year, the Cavs and Heat are going to pressure the Pistons.

Next year, the Spurs and Mavs are going to once again battle for bragging rights, while at the same time worrying about the Clippers and the Suns.

All the while, the East is going to be motivated by the West, and vice-a-versa.

That's what is making these playoffs great, and that's why you will see David Stern sitting court-side and smiling like an idiot that just won the lottery.

24. Root, root, root ... for whom?

After the Cleveland Indians missed the playoffs last year because of a complete nosedive against the White Sox in the final week of the season, my girlfriend said she hoped the White Sox would win it all.

Forget that they are a division rival. Forget that they were the reason my beloved Tribe missed the playoffs.

Her logic? She wanted the White Sox to win so that we could say we lost to the best team in baseball.

Little comfort, I know.

So, now we come to the NBA playoffs, and the Detroit Basketball Pistons eliminated my beloved Cavaliers.

Who do I root for?

In my heart, I want the Heat to put a serious hurting on the Pistons. Nothing would give me so much pleasure as to watch Rasheed Wallace, Ben Wallace, and company tank in five or six games. That would shut 'em up.

Then again, part of me wants Detroit to beat the Heat. Part of me wants Detroit to win it all. Part of me doesn't want Detroit to lose another game. That way, we lost to the best team in the league.

It's little consolation, I know. But if you're from Cleveland, you'll take any consolation you can get.

25. Beware of flying frying pans.

Every week since Top Chef has started, I have been flabbergasted. I've thought, "Who the hell is that redhead, and why haven't they kicked her off yet?"

Week after week, I prayed Tiffani would get tossed to the curb with her knives, and every week, she has stuck around simply to annoy me.

So, Wednesday night we came to the Top Chef finale, and it's between Harold and Tiffani. Needless to say, I'm a little nervous. It's not that I like Harold that much, and it's not that I am that emotionally invested in the show to really care who wins.

In fifth grade, I used to play one-on-one basketball games with my best friend in my frontyard. I was Michael Jordan (shameful, I know) and he was Jay Guidinger, a backup center whose entire career consisted of two seasons with the Cavs.

Anyway, I inevitably lost those games, and every time I lost, I would kick the basketball over my house in a stunning display of disgust. (Even if I didn't have the actual skill and ability to ever make it to the NBA, at least I had the emotional pouting part down.)

So I fear something similar might happen. If Tiffani wins Top Chef, I very well might hurl my $2.00 frying pan at my television set in disgust.

26. Conan O'Brien-style SAT practice questions.

Q. What do the following three statements have in common?

"I'm pretty sure that the little birds living in Zydrunas Ilgauskas' beard could defend the Pistons better than he could."

"The Heat just aren't a good team. The Pistons aren't a good team. The Mavericks aren't a good team. The Suns aren't a good team. There aren't any good teams left. I could go suit up right now and beat everybody. Hell, I could beat everybody by myself while I was eating a chocolate chip cookie. That's right, me and the chocolate chip cookie will take on anybody."

"You might as well go ahead and start making plans to put my head on Mount Rushmore, because I'm the only one that can figure out what they are trying to do out there. George Washington, William Howard Taft, Abraham Lincoln, Bill Clinton, and me. I like that Taft guy. He was big, right? He was big like me. See, big guys like us, we can still do great things. He ran a country and he was a big guy. There ain't nothing wrong with that.

"And Clinton, you know he liked his food. You ever see that SNL skit where they had him in a McDonald's eating everybody's food? That was funny. He's out for a run and he's gotta stop for a Big Mac. See, that's how I am, I need a snack to keep going. Big Macs, Whoppers, don't matter."

A. These statements are more and more likely to be uttered by Charles Barkley as the playoffs continue.

27. A personal question.

I write for this site, not for a major publication.

I write as a hobby, not as an occupation.

That doesn't mean I don't have pride in what I do, and it doesn't necessarily mean that everything else out there is better.

Some of my articles are better than others. I have my personal favorites, and I certainly have the ones that I regret to some degree.

Last week I posted an article, NBA Playoffs: Ahead of the Curve.

I was quite proud of it.

It was about LeBron James and the expectations and performance in his first year in the playoffs.

That was on Thursday, May 18.

Skip to Sunday. I pick up the local Cleveland Plain Dealer and turn to the Sports section.

There, on the front page, is a column by Bud Shaw entitled, "Magnificent Seven?"

It covered much of the same topic areas as my article, but as I read it, I felt that mine was significantly better.

This is not to whine, and this is not to take anything away from Bud Shaw. However, I was curious, given the similarities, how the two would stand up head-to-head.

So, if anyone has an opinion, feel free to comment.

Once again, just curious.

28. I'm glad the first round is seven games.

The first round is not boring, it is not easy, and it is not something to be skipped.

Four of the series this year went six games. One went seven.

If the first round of the playoffs were five games instead of seven, you wouldn't see the Phoenix Suns playing the Dallas Mavericks in the Western Conference finals.

Is that the type of basketball you want to watch? Five games in the first round?

Five games opens the door for streaky teams that have no business advancing to the second round. You don't want to make it impossible for upsets to happen, but at the same time the NBA playoffs shouldn't resemble March Madness.

You complain about the possibility of a Spurs vs. Pistons final from the start, but wait and see how interested you would be if either of them got knocked out by the Bucks or the Kings in the first round.

You're just asking for it if you make the first round best of five.

29. Jack Bauer would be voted All First-Team NBA, for sure.

"So Jack, how are you going to handle the Pistons' zone coverage in the second half?"

"I'm going to need a hacksaw."

30. Predictions, anyone?

So far, I've stayed away from making any predictions. I've simply tried to sit back and enjoy everything without getting too involved.

That ends here.

In the East, I'm not that confident in Detroit coming off their seven game series with the Cavs. They looked tired Tuesday night against the Heat, and the Heat have in Shaq what the Cavs didn't with their starting roster — a second scorer and an inside defensive presence.

I'm taking the Miami Heat in seven games over the Pistons. I think Miami is going to avenge their Game 7 loss from last season, and I think it's because of Dwyane Wade's consistency, Shaq's determination for another ring, and Pat Riley's ability to bring together all the disjointed parts of the team.

As far as the West goes...

It's strange — I can objectively say that the Dallas Mavericks are the better team in the series. I don't think there's any doubt about that.

However, for some reason, my heart is telling me to pick the Suns.

I think Steve Nash is going to earn his keep as MVP, and I think the more the Suns run, the easier it's going to be to wear down Dirk Nowitzki. If Dirk is tired, if he can't be the man Dallas needs him to be, then I think the Suns have the edge.

Phoenix is rested, and Dallas just came off a grueling (physically and emotionally) series.

I'm going to take Phoenix in six games.

***

All right, I warned you. I'm not one for working.

We're at 2,150 words and counting.

I know, I only got to number 30 on my list, but I feel that, for the time being, it has run its course.

Anymore entries and I'm going to start telling you increasingly irrelevant and tangential (at best) information.

For example, number 31 was going to be, "The library is next to a hibachi restaurant that has great lunch deals. I could go for scallops and filet right now."

See, not so good, especially for a sports column.

Ten more items done, 10 more to go.

I'm allowed to stop here, you know, because 10 is one quarter of forty, and thus, it's important, too.