Whatever you may think of those that run the NFL Network (and I'm sure most people devote an hour or two of thought each day solely to the NFL Network), you can't say they don't understand how the game works. Sex sells. The NFL Network doesn't sell (very much). What's the obvious decision? Sexing up the NFL Network, and that's just what's planned.
It's no secret that the NFL was facing its share of struggles with the network, but at least it is trying to make it better. Just last week, the network announced that they would carry college football's Insight Bowl and the network is expected to add more college programming in the future. It's one thing to add college games, though, and yesterday the NFL Network unveiled the new programming that should really bring in new customers — two separate cheerleading shows.
The first is going to be a behind the scenes series showing how the Tampa Bay and San Diego cheerleader squads are picked. Yes, it's a cheap ploy. Yes, it's been done before. Yes, people will watch it anyway. It's proven reliable in the past, so naturally people will watch the same old material repackaged in different logos.
It's American Idol meets Survivor, as talented dancers by day and, well, dancers by night vie for a spot on cheerleading teams. There is plenty of drama and heartbreak as girls are eliminated until the lucky 12 (or 15, 20, 25, I really have no idea how many girls are on a cheerleading team) survive the competition and are awarded a spot on the team. The real gem of the new programming is in the second show.
The second series is what the network is billing as the first-ever TV battle of NFL cheerleaders or something like that. Basically, it's just going to pit cheerleaders in some sort of competition against each other. That's literally all the network has at this point. Network spokesman Seth Palansky told USA Today that the details aren't finalized, "but it will be cheerleaders from different teams competing against each other." Do you need to know anything else?
The fundamental of selling sex is not a new invention, but programs in the past have at least posed as something with a purpose other than objectifying women. Really, though, who are they trying to kid? This is why I can appreciate the NFL Network. They don't insult our intelligence by trying to justify this as a show that celebrates the cheerleaders for their athletic abilities or their loyalty to teamwork and their respective NFL franchises. It's simply about objectifying women and nothing else. And it's brilliant.
I'm not trying to argue that women should be objectified or that it's good for our culture, because it's not. It's terrible, awful, and appalling (says the politically correct me). But it's a business decision and putting scantily-clad women on television is always good for business. They could even be doing math problems, but as long as they are carrying the 1s while sporting bikinis, people will watch.
I have to admit I'm surprised at the lack of development of the show, however. I would've expected them to have a little bit of information before making an official announcement. If all they have is that it's a show with "cheerleaders competing against each other," then how many ideas got nixed before that? A series about NFL players learning to read or maybe a legal-themed show glorifying the crafty lawyers that keep players on the field and out of prison? I just hope a raise was given to the guy that said, "Cheerleaders. That's all we need to know, just put some cheerleaders on TV and it will work. We don't need a premise, we don't need any object. We just need bikinis and pom poms."
It's only a matter of time before we leave things like competition and tryouts and delve into a whole new area of cheerleading programming. Think MTV's Spring Break, only the scantily-clad coeds happen to be NFL cheerleaders on the side. We can't be long from cheerleaders competing against each other in WWE-style matches where they just try to tear each other's clothes off.
The beauty of this plan is in the simplicity. Cheerleaders. What they are doing or why they are doing it, well, that can all be figured out later. They feel they don't need anything else to sell it. And they probably don't. When you're selling sex, there will always be plenty of buyers.
The Sports Gospel According to Mark is sponsored by BetOnSports.com. All readers get a 10% signup bonus at BetOnSports by entering "Sports Gospel Promo" as the promo code. Mark Chalifoux is also a weekly columnist for SportsFan Magazine. His columns appear every Tuesday on SC. You can e-mail Mark at [email protected].
Leave a Comment