NBA Playoffs: The Suffixer

Speaking to the media after Game 5 of the Lakers/Suns series about referee Leon Wood's decision to issue him his second technical foul in the fourt quarter, Kobe said, "He didn't like my toneage, if that's a word. He's the decider. Is that a word, decider?"

For all the fans of the "Daily Show," we know that "Decider" is in fact a word, and more than that, it is the name of the secret superhero that President George Bush turns into at night.

Maybe referee Leon Wood is Robin to President Bush's Batman.

Nevertheless, Kobe's quote is indicative of a new kind of NBA language that is coming to fruition as we near the end of the first round of the playoffs.

The playoffs are a special breed of basketball, and the language to describe them needs to be just as special. As a public service, I will now explicate the meanings of some of the most important words coming out of the postseason.

1. Decider

What will be the decider for the Suns/Lakers series?

The Suns showed up in Game 5 playing a rougher, more physical brand of basketball that seemed, for the moment at least, to give them the edge and to allow them to return to their up-and-down, frenetic style of play.

While this may have worked for one game, judging from Kobe's comments afterward I wouldn't expect the Lakers to back down. Phil Jackson will find a way to adjust and slow down the Phoenix offense while giving Kobe a chance for more open looks at the basket.

The Decider in this series is going to be the coaching of the Zenmaster. WIth his team constantly moving toward the point of understanding his philosophy, Jackson is in a good position to get a win in one of the next two games.

2. Sweepest

The only sweep in the first round was brought to us by the Dallas Mavericks and Dirk Nowitzki. The question is, should we take the Mavs' dominance as evidence of their power in the Western Conference? The Spurs have struggled with the Kings, and yet remain the prohibitive pick to make the NBA Finals from the West. After a long season during which the Mavs went down to the wire with the Spurs for the best record in the conference, the Mavs have shown to be the stronger team in the first round.

Perhaps it is a matter of matchups, and perhaps the Spurs haven't hit their championship stride yet, but are the Mavs the sweepest? Is that a word?

We'll see in remainder of the Spurs/Kings series whether or not the Spurs have earned themselves favorite status or not.

3. Shaq or Shaquer

Can Shaq be the big guy in the Heat/Bulls series?

In the two games that Miami has lost, Shaq only played around a total of 48 minutes because of foul trouble.

After a scary fall to the hardwood by Dwyane Wade in Tuesday night's game, Pat Riley and the Heat have to be wondering whether or not this year is going to finish the same way as last. Sure, Wade came back to lead the Heat's fourth quarter surge, but if there are any lingering effects from the fall, you can be sure the Miami organization is going to have scary flashbacks of last year.

The difference is going to be whether or not Shaq is Shaquer than he has been in Miami's losses. On his good days, when he is not in foul trouble and when he is manning the middle like an inhuman beast of basketball, the Heat are unstoppable.

Free throw percentage aside, he can be the most dominating player on the floor, and his presence and performance determine to some extent the success of Wade and the rest of the team.

4. Injurless

Speaking of Dwyane Wade's nasty fall in Game 5, what happens when one of your star players gets injured and you are forced to reconfigure your entire game-plan to compensate for his absence?

The question for the remainder of the playoffs is going to be who can stave off the injury bug the longest.

Chicago must have been asking the same question after they saw Kirk Hinrich limp off the floor after hurting his ankle in the first half.

Take away either player for an entire game and the complexion of the series takes on a whole new hue.

It is not what the organizations, nor the fans, want to see, but at some point, one of the playoff teams will probably have to contend with playing without one of their better players.

The rest of the players that rise to the occasion and the coaches that utilize their benches the best will prove to be the differences when a player the caliber of Dwyane Wade goes down.

5. Witnesser

Shirts are sold outside Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland bearing the simple phrase, "Witness."

They are, of course, a reference to the Nike advertisements bearing the image of LeBron James with the slogan, "We are all witnesses."

The question is ... to what?

Cleveland is a game up on Washington after Wednesday night's game, putting the series at 3-2.

If the Cavaliers are the ones standing around witnessing and watching LeBron, you can be pretty sure that the Wizards are going to be the team moving on into the second round.

If the Cavs are the ones witnessing Gilbert Arenas run sprints through the lane in the middle of a stagnant defense, then the result is going to be the same.

The only way the Cavs are going to advance is if the fans get to witness what made LeBron so magical during the regular season. He has to be a leader, and as such, has to bring his teammates up to his level in order to advance.

A possible second round matchup with the Pistons is only going to become reality if the Nike prophecy becomes truth in the heated and intense atmosphere of the playoffs.

Otherwise, LeBron is simply a regular season MVP candidate that gave Nike the opportunity to sell a lot of shoes.

6. Manifest Destiner

For almost the entire season we heard only one thing.

It is going to be the Detroit Pistons and San Antonio Spurs in the NBA Finals.

No one seemed to disagree to any large extent, and the regular season performance by both teams seemed to back up this prediction.

The first round of the playoffs have seemed to show some of the chinks in unbeatable armor of these two teams.

Pundits and columnists now seem content to still predict a Pistons/Spurs final, but it seems to be with less zeal than before. Their tough first round matchups with less talented teams, combined with the Dallas sweep of the Grizzlies, appears to have made everyone a little less sure about things.

Yes, they probably are the best two teams, and yes, I would still wager that they will both make the Finals, but everyone seems to be admitting that neither team is going to have an easy time getting there.

If we are prepared to admit the tough road ahead for them, then why are we not prepared for the possibility that one, or neither, of the teams might not get there?

What seemed like a sure thing only weeks ago seems to be getting more iffy by the game.

Perhaps things will change when both teams hit their playoff strides and again play like the best two teams in the NBA.

7. Apathiest

Am I alone in not caring about the Pacers/Nets series?

Other than Vince Carter, is there any other compelling storyline?

There is no defending champs, there is no Kobe or LeBron or Shaq. And, as such, no one seems to care that much.

Vince Carter remains the one intriguing characteristic.

The headline on ESPN for Tuesday night's game read, "Con-Vince-ing-Performance."

They were right about one thing, but only if they were assuming everyone reading the headline would take it with a little Spanish flavor.

For all those readers who didn't get the opportunity to take Spanish in school, "con" means "with" in the language.

And that is the biggest factor of the series ... the inclusion of Vince Carter.

The Nets can't win without him, and the public (at least me) wouldn't probably care if it weren't for him. His presence as a veteran, or rather a veteran playing determined, unselfish basketball, is going to get the Nets into the second round.

If the pouting Vince Carter of old comes back, even for a game, the Pacers are going to have a gigantic edge.

8. Artestamenter

The Sacramento Kings have showed that they can win with or without Ron Artest, which is impressive considering that they are playing the Spurs.

To no surprise, the Kings are a better team when Artest is on the floor and playing to his capabilities. His one-game suspension and Sacramento's performance in his absence have probably provided the impetus for him to be a sizable factor in the remainder of the series.

If the Kings and Artest can pull it out against San Antonio, it is going to be a testament to their late season turnaround and the organization's dedication to winning. The energy they have had since the trade with the Pacers has been matched only by a few teams (like the Lakers) in the last weeks of the regular season.

A Kings victory would also be testament to the lack of focus by the Spurs. How else could a team picked as the favorite in the Western Conference lose to such a low seed? How else could their talent and ability disappear so fast when the games mattered the most?

The answer would be a lack of focus, and the assumption that a first round win against the Kings would be a sure thing.

The Spurs can't wait too much longer to regain their focus and composure and play like the team that we all know they are.

Hopefully, this little explanation of the latest in NBA playoff jargon has helped a little in understanding the fundamental issues that we are all watching as the first round comes to a close.

After all, we all want to know what the decider will be.