An Olympic NCAA Basketball Season

NCAA basketball has never been worse! Or at least that's what many of the NBA-loving, seer-sucking weasels would have you believe. Of course, maybe they have a case. After all, there are not one but two white guys heading the race for the player of the year award. NCAA basketball is just starting to heat up which, up here in Canada, always helps.

Speaking of which, the Olympic hockey tournament has taken over every maple-blooded Canadian's life for the last week culminating with the latest biggest game ever. I'm Canadian, and from time to time, that Canadian-ness is going to show a little excessively. If you don't like it, go somewhere else. If you can stomach it once in awhile, then jump aboard and lets have some fun with this sports thing.

What does this have to do with NCAA basketball? Well ... nothing. However, with hockey on the brain and a nod to ESPN.com Page 2's Bill Simmons, it's time to hand out some awards at a time when things start to shake out before March Madness.

The Jarome Iginla Award For Excellent But Socially Confused Play

This goes to the pair I previously alluded to: J.J. Redick and Adam Morrison. Why isn't this a bigger story? Has there ever been two guys playing like this before. As a white guy myself, I have to admit I didn't think we had it in us. Sure, we've had a good run lately with the Steve Nash MVP, which was equally impressive as a white guy than a Canadian, but this is unprecedented. The best part is that it's not the usual seven-foot lumbering white guy that you're almost embarrassed about. These guys have a more dangerous shot than Dick Cheney. They hit everything and, like the Cheney hunting incident, if you think we're not in for something shockingly enjoyable come March, you're kidding yourself.

Listen, regardless of race, these guys are lighting it up against top competition. Seemingly every year, the top of the national scoring list sits some guy from that school whom we've never heard of until his team is down by 25 points at halftime to Kansas in the first round of the tourney. This year, as usual, the top 25 is chocked full of these guys.

The only schools represented in the top 25 that you've ever heard of other than the aforementioned are Rutgers, Texas Tech (outside looking in come Selection Sunday), and Nevada (not exactly a national powerhouse). The point here is that normally in top competition there are several guys on a team that lead a team on any given day. I mean, that's the point of recruiting powerhouse teams and gathering McDonald's All-Americans. These guys are putting up incredible numbers every night for deep teams against deep opponents. I figure that warrants first-award status in a crappy gimmick column.

The Switzerland Hockey Award For the Team That We Think Sucks, and Then Think Might Be Pretty Good and Then, Just As We're Convinced, Realize That We Were Right in the First Place

We're handing this one out to Seton Hall University, a perennial contender for this award. They started the season with a horrific, 53-point beatdown at the hand of Duke at Cameron and looked like the usual .500 season was in the works. Then they went on a 12-4 run starting on Dec. 1 until Feb. 10th, which included three close losses and a fourth at Villanova. I'll admit they even had me fooled, but almost like the bookend to the fairy-tale, they were completely dominated in a 42-point game at Connecticut. They managed to bounce back with a win versus ranked West Virginia only to allow 101 points at home to a Notre Dame team that had yet to win a road game in Big East all season. The old Seton Hall is back, predictably unpredictable.

(Honorable mention goes to the bottom half of the ACC and pretty much every team in the Pac-10.)

The Host Team Gets in No Matter How Bad They Are Award For the Team That Inexplicably Summons Enough Pride to Keep Playing Hard Despite Repeatedly Being Kicked While They Are Down

The Italian hockey team managed a tie against Team Switzerland in their final round-robin game, despite taking repeated beatings that not only would have lead most to pack it in for their final game, but also may force a change in Olympic policy that would revoke the host country's right to a spot in the tournament if they aren't competitive.

This award goes to the same Notre Dame team mentioned above who have lost so many close games in so many excruciating endings that the statistics don't do it justice. Remember the year that Bryce Drew hit the shot for Valparaiso to upset Ole Miss and there were great endings to seemingly every game that year and even for the next couple of years? Think about that play and some of the other memorable ones and then imagine being on the wrong end of those, only every week.

Yet somehow, despite entering the second week of February with 1-8 conference record and a 10-10 record overall not only has no one jumped from the top of "Touchdown Jesus," but they have reeled off three straight wins going into Tuesday night's game at UConn. And if they win that one, well, we've got ourselves a team to cheer for down the stretch.

The Team Canada Award For a Team Whose Fan-Base is in Major Panic Mode

This goes to Syracuse, who was coming into the season as a team with all the right tools. On paper, the frontcourt had a lot of talent and some experience and the backcourt was said to be fantastic, lead by the wildly entertaining Gerry McNamara. They reeled off a ton of wins to start the season and were 15-2 going into a big home game versus UConn. I even rode them on the money line for back-to-back road wins against Notre Dame and Cincinnati.

But the impossible Big East schedule would eat them up over the next few weeks, leading to some boos making their way around the Carrier Dome and falling to official "bubble-team" status. They have bounced back recently with two solid wins and with a strong finish, could make things better in Orangetown. Here's hoping the same is true for Team Canada.

The Derian Hatcher Award For the Player Who, Despite Having No Discernable Skill Other Than Size, Manages to Maintain a Key Roll On a Good Team

We're going to Greg Brunner of Iowa with this one mainly because, like Hatcher, you can't believe this guy can compete at this level and yet he somehow gets the job done. Just watch, we'll be looking at our bracket in mid-March and looking for upsets and I guarantee we're penciling in (fill in random mid-major team here) to knock them out and by Monday, they are in the Sweet 16 and I'm shell-shocked. You know who is going to cause that, don't you? Mr. Greg Brunner.

We can get through this together when my NCAA tournament preview comes out and I have Iowa going out in the first round, go against me. Hell, let's do this as a team, e-mail me remind me not to when the bracket comes out. It'll be like an alcoholic-sponsor type relationship.

The Team Finland "Shhhh, Don't Tell" Award For the Team That Despite Being as Impressive as Hell All Tournament/Season, Still Gets No Credit Whatsoever and We're Still Not Sure if This is Reasonable or Not

Team Finland came to the Olympics with some good past results, but because their best two goalies inexplicably made like Russell Crowe at an award show and decided not to show up, they were given no chance to win the gold or even a medal. Well, at the end of the preliminary round, they are 5-0, have a date with an underachieving Team USA, and I am still pretty sure they could lose and I wouldn't be that surprised. Plus, I can't name half the team.

Who does this sound like? If you said Memphis, give yourself a hand. Remember them? They are the team that has lost twice all season to Duke (by three) and Texas. Duke and Texas. Sure, they play in a conference that got the same treatment this offseason as Jennifer Connolly in "Requiem for a Dream," but they have been crushing those teams.

It's like just as people are about to say, "Wow, these guys are really good!" they go and beat one of these crappy Conference USA teams by six in a close one and it takes Seth Davis' foot off the hype pedal. They don't even get a mention in the "who's a number one seed?" conversation, so they will probably get a two. Of course, when they get that two-seed and lose in the second round to a seven-seed (probably to Iowa), would anyone really fall off their couch?

(Honorable mention to George Washington. The school, not the former President.)

The Team Russia Award Going to The Team That is So Stacked it is More Fun to See if They Will Implode Than Actually Appreciate Their Greatness

I know what you're thinking. You think I'm going with Duke with this one, don't you? Well, I'm not. Sure they've won all but one game and perennially involved in the national title mix and 99% of college basketball fans want to see them lose, but this year there is something about them. Admittedly, I like Duke, so I may be way off here, but they seem like they can be beat. Plus, Redick is so ridiculously good that he's like Derek Jeter with the Yankees. It's jaw-dropping some of the shots he makes.

I'm going with UConn. If you disagree with me, then you haven't looked at their roster. They are stacked with experience and quality at every position. Most of their guys have a championship and the likelihood of none of those guys stepping up is not very high. In fact, if this does happen it would be a big story.

Whereas there is a possibility that Redick goes cold at the same time Shelden Williams is in foul trouble, resulting in the rest of the team standing there confused and disoriented, UConn basketball is like Russian hockey, when you watch their games, you see two or three guys dominating, you flick away and come back a half hour later and there are three other guys taking over the game. Guys that you forgot were even on the team. The Russians have a history of disappearing when things get tough. I don't think UConn will. That's where the two differ — I hope.